This episode marks one year of the your Zen Friend podcast and , in celebration of making this podcast for the past year , I'll share some behind the scenes of what goes into creating this podcast . I'll also share what I most hope listeners are taking away from your Zen Friend . It just happens to be the number one thing I believe parents can do to help their children and teens have good mental health and positive overall well-being . Welcome to your Zen Friend . I'm your host , lauren Wolfe . On this podcast , I will share wisdom from working as a licensed professional counselor for more than 20 years . Using storytelling and lighthearted humor , each episode will explore themes on personal growth , including tips and strategies to boost mental wellness and overall well-being . If you're a perfectly imperfect human like me , who's always striving to do better and feel better , then this podcast is for you . Let's get started . Welcome , zen friends . I hope , wherever you are , you're doing well . This is an exciting episode . I feel like I need my Oprah Winfrey voice . This episode marks one full year of the your Zen Friend podcast . Yep , still no sound effects , but it could happen . It could happen in season two .
Speaker 1I have learned so much about podcasting in the past year and I'm going to tell you about some of what I've learned . If you are a podcaster lover like myself , I think you'll find it really interesting . I'll just start by saying that I saw one statistic that said 90% of podcasts don't make it past the first three episodes . So I'm giving myself lots of gold stars for sticking with it and being here one year out . If you are someone who has ever thought of maybe creating their own podcast , I think you'll also find this episode helpful . But let's start with a quick check-in .
Speaker 1Fall is in the air here in New England when I'm recording this podcast . It's been in the 60s and the 70s . The humidity has dropped and I'm all for many pumpkin spice items not all pumpkin spice . Some pumpkin spice items just look gross to me , but pumpkin spice Cheerios those sound interesting . I'm always up for pumpkin spice latte and I do love the scent of pumpkin spice . There is an essential oil that I love , called , of course , pumpkin spice . That is made by Revive Essential Oil . It's a blend . It smells so good and you're getting none of the toxic fumes of fragrance , or some candles have toxic fumes , especially the ones that use petroleum . It's just a really nice way of getting a crisp fall scent into your home in a way that feels good . You can get an inexpensive diffuser off of Amazon or TJ Maxx often has them . You add a little water , add about six drops of the essential oil . It smells terrific . Check that out if you want to bring a little fall into your home . Especially for those of you who are still in warm weather climates , it's probably nice to just bring a sense of fall in , even if it's feeling really warm out .
Speaker 1My son , amen , who is 18 years old and a senior in high school poor kid . He just got his wisdom teeth out this past Friday and , as if it couldn't get worse , he got a cold on top of it . So he is so miserable right now . Does anyone else feel anxious when your kids are sick or in pain or discomfort ? I always feel anxious when my kids are not feeling well , even though I know he's safe , I know he's going to get better . It's just that sense of knowing that he's suffering that is uncomfortable . So I'm feeling just a little bit of anxiety . I'm here at my office in Sandy Hook on a Sunday recording because he had his surgery on Friday . That's usually my recording day , so I'm going to go to the grocery store see what I can get him that he can eat . And , poor kid , maybe it will bring him a little relief to just get some food in his belly . He hasn't been eating much , even though I did all of the buying of the standard soft foods that you typically buy when someone has their wisdom teeth removed , but he's just not been feeling up to it , so I'll see what I can get for him . Another update , this one much better than having a poor kid homesick with just having had surgery .
Speaker 1I just hired my first employees , so I'm so excited about that . I've got a therapy practice here in Sandy Hook , connecticut , called Firefly Counseling and Wellness and I just hired a wonderful clinician named Kayla DeFeo . She has about eight years of experience working with children , adolescents and adults . She's worked in a lot of residential facilities . I think the work she'll be doing here with me will actually be a lot easier than some of the therapeutic work that she's done and I'm just really excited to have her on board . I am very often turning people away who are trying to have me see either them or their children or teens for counseling , so I'm really excited to be able to offer them Kayla services , as people are calling this time of year . As we get later into September and early October , I typically get a lot of phone calls for children and teens who are having all sorts of different challenges , and it usually comes up with school , or sometimes children are feeling anxious going to school or maybe not doing homework or struggling with peers and friends at school . So the phone calls definitely pick up and I am really excited to be able to offer them to work with Kayla . I think she's a great therapist and I'm excited to work with her too .
Speaker 1I keep telling my husband we're going to have a Christmas party . He thinks that's kind of lame . It's just going to be the two of us , but I don't care , we'll go out to dinner , we'll do something and it's just going to be so nice having someone work with me , and I really like Kayla a lot and I'm looking forward to getting to know her . So if you or maybe one of your children or teens are in this area and looking for a therapist , then feel free to reach out to me . I don't think Kayla will have openings for too long , but right now she does have some . You can find all my contact information in the show description . So let's take a short break and then we'll get back with the behind the scenes . Look into podcasting and the number one thing you can do as a parent to help support your child or teen in having good mental health and positive overall well-being .
Speaker 2Hey , there it's Ann Coleman from the Speaking of Teens podcast . I know you'll agree that Lauren produces fabulous and informative content every single week which helps you in your journey of personal growth , mental wellness and overall well-being . So I have a favor to ask Please rate and review your Zen friend on Apple or Spotify . Those ratings and reviews are vital to help other listeners decide whether they want to listen to the show that first time , and it helps Lauren when reaching out to other professionals to interview , to continue bringing you the great content that she puts out , not just once , but twice every single week . If you've ever found Lauren's podcast helpful , then please do her a favor by taking just a couple of minutes to give her a five-star rating and review . Here's how you do it on Apple Pause the podcast after I explain . You'll see a little gray line at the top of your iPhone . Tap it to take the episode you're listening to down to the bottom . Now click library at the bottom of your phone and scroll through to find your Zen friend podcast . Tap it and scroll down until you see ratings and reviews .
Speaker 2Tap that fifth star to give it a five-star rating . Then tap , write a review just underneath it and say some kind words for Lauren . She reads every single review and will so appreciate it . Here's what I wrote recently I'm so glad to have found Lauren's podcast . She's so relatable , her voice is so soothing and I love the meditations Bravo . So go ahead and leave a five-star rating and a review for Lauren so she can continue to bring you her amazing content . That's it . Let's get back to the show .
Speaker 1Welcome back .
I am a podcast enthusiast Self-proclaimed . I've been listening to podcasts probably since about 2012 , when I first got an iPhone , and , for me , I find that podcast listening just brings me a lot of enjoyment in my everyday , whether I'm gardening or cooking a meal I've cooked a million times or driving and running errands . It just brings a little spark of joy into my daily life , especially connecting with podcasts that I've listened to now for years . It really feels like they are friends in my head . I hope that you feel the same way about me and this podcast . Two of my current favorites include Satellite Sisters . That one comes out every Tuesday . I'm a good enough fish and you've probably heard of good enough fish because I had the pleasure of interviewing Brooke Forrey , one of the co-hosts of Good Enough Fish , on episode number 33 . I also gave away her wonderful Balance Bound Planner as a giveaway for one lucky listener who had rated and reviewed the podcast . So yeah , I listened to podcasts on the regular .
Speaker 1I often just assumed that to be a podcaster , you had to be in a sound studio , like a soundproof recording studio , with a producer and lots of people backing you up and doing all the things to get it out into the world . Well , it turns out that is not true . All you need to record a podcast is basically an iPhone , and some people have some contraptions that they hook into it , or in my case , I use a laptop and a microphone . You also need some kind of recording software , and some recording software you can get for free . I have recording software that I pay for . I tried something early on when I recorded the first few episodes . The sound quality was not great . It was a good software for beginners and , yeah , sound quality was not great . So I found a different type of software and really I just need a room that isn't too echoey and my microphone plugged into my MacBook Air nothing too fancy and I just record away From there . I need to just save it as an mp3 or a WAV file for those of you who are technical out there . And then I do have to sign up , and or I did sign up for and pay for , a podcasting platform . I use something called Buzzsprout and the podcasting platform is where I upload my episode to each week and from there I just schedule when I want it to go out and they send it out into the world and to all the different podcasting hosts .
Speaker 1Now I'm sure you've heard some podcasters ask for donations or talk about having some kind of membership , like you might have heard of a Patreon membership , and that is where , with some podcasts , you can pay a certain amount each month . Sometimes they have different levels , it's really different with every podcast and then you'll get something in addition to the podcast that you typically are getting for free . Sometimes it's like a live questions and answers , or sometimes there's additional podcasts or additional content that people who sign up and pay this Patreon membership or whatever membership it is , it's like additional content that you'll get . Now some podcasts offer this because podcasters aren't just giving of their time and expertise to bring you content every week . This I've learned right . We're also often paying for the software , paying for the platform that sends our podcasts up and out into the world , and then , like in my case , I'm now also paying for an editor Shout out to the wonderful Suzanne who makes my life so much easier and makes this podcast sound fantastic . So we're not just giving of our time and our expertise , but we really are also paying to record and send that podcast out into the world .
Speaker 1Now I used to think no big whoop , I'll get out to like a year of recording and I'll get some sponsors . But it turns out you actually have to have at least a thousand downloads every 30 days to qualify for having a sponsor . Now I'm close to this . I'm usually around 700 downloads a month , so I'm getting there . But even still , when you have about a thousand downloads a month , you're getting sponsors that are only paying you , I believe , like $10 for an ad , so you're not even really recouping your expenses , let alone the time that you're giving to record the podcast . Now I am happy to be sharing this information and putting out content for free . For me , this feels like a give back to the community and to fellow parents out there and fellow individuals who want to work on boosting their mental health and overall well-being . So I'm good with doing that . I'm just letting you know because maybe you'll find it interesting . I think it's always interesting to get a little peek behind the scenes .
Speaker 1Now , another fact about podcasts is it's really kind of hard to easily find podcasts when you search in the search engine . If it's like , I don't even know if it's called , a search engine probably isn't . If you're searching in Apple podcasts or Spotify , I think search engines are more on the internet . When you are searching in an actual search engine like on the internet , like Google , it's a lot easier to find what you're looking for . If you put in parenting podcast or podcast for mental health , my podcast won't necessarily come up . So the best way for podcasts to be found and to grow is truly for individuals to share them with with each other is for you to rate and review the podcast , especially on Apple . That's the number one place to do it After Apple , I would say Spotify , also really important and also to subscribe or follow the podcast and listen on a regular basis , because the more downloads and positive ratings a podcast has , the easier it is to get wonderful , knowledgeable guests on our programs .
Speaker 1As a podcaster , I spend a decent amount of time reaching out to individuals that I feel are experts in their field or have great content or have maybe a similar podcast that reaches similar listeners . That I think will bring information that you or listeners will hopefully find helpful and interesting . I'm also lucky . As you know , I've had many friends on this podcast . I have amazing friends who are really knowledgeable in different areas and different fields that I think really have been great in giving our listeners some really great information . But when I am reaching out to someone that I don't know , they are looking to see how many downloads I have . They're looking to see how many ratings and reviews I have to see if it's worth their time to come on my podcast . So the more that you share the podcast that you love , be it mine or someone else's , and the more that you take time to rate and review the podcast that you love , which really just takes a few minutes , it really , really helps to grow the podcast .
Speaker 1Now , if you are wondering how long it takes to create a podcast and get it up and out into the world each week , I will break it down for you . So it typically takes me anywhere now from three to six hours a week to bring you a full length episode which is anywhere from 20 to 50 minutes . It was taking me , before I passed off editing to Suzanne , a good five to 10 , sometimes even 12 hours a week . My Sundays were often spent editing , lots and lots of editing . But here's really just a quick breakdown of the steps that I do to bring you this podcast .
Speaker 1I think of an idea , I write an outline of a script , then I record , then I save it and send it to my editor . I listen through to the final cut . Then I write out the show descriptions and type it up in that podcasting platform that sends it out in Buzzsprout . I make sure that I mention any products or if I have interviewed someone , I'm sharing their bio . I'm also uploading and scheduling the episode . I'm creating a social media image and write up . So I do that on Canva and then I post on Instagram and Facebook and I'm including a little photo often it's a headshot if I have interviewed someone . So if I'm interviewing someone too , that's a few emails back and forth to send a zoom link and get that all set up and let them know what they need to prepare and answer any of their questions .
Speaker 1Now do I enjoy podcasting ? Yes , big yes , I really enjoy it . I especially have enjoyed meeting really interesting guests that have come on this podcast , like recently and Coleman , or Vicki Smith , who was on it a ways back . I also love , love , love getting to connect with old friends , like my friend Cassie , who was on and had a wonderful episode about animals that was episode number 18 , finding Purpose in Animal Care and Wildlife Protection . That episode side note was the most downloaded episode in a week . It actually had over 100 downloads in just the first day . So what I know about you , my Zen friends , is you almost really love animals . So we'll have to bring Cassie back again or get some other interviews with people who are helpers and protectors of animals . Like Cassie , she is a living Cinderella . If you haven't heard that episode , check it out . It's so fun . She has a whole menagerie of animals that she cares for on her farm and then she also works in caring for animals and animal protection as well . So a big yes to yes . I love podcasting . I love connecting with listeners . I love meeting new people . I love doing interviews . Does it take a lot more time than I expected it to take ? Also , yes , that is true it does . It's pretty time consuming , but I do love it .
Now I bring you this podcast as a way of giving back to the community , and it is my intention to help support parents in having a better experience parenting . Parenting is such a freaking hard job . It is so much harder than I imagined before I had children . I had taken parenting classes in my graduate classes and I thought , yeah , I got this . I know how to do this . Yeah , wrong , wrong answer . I often joke that the only perfect parents are individuals that have no children . There's just no such thing . It is the hardest job you will ever do .
Speaker 1My wish for parents and what I hope to provide in my podcast , in the counseling work that I do and any support that I provide for parents and families , is this . Number one I don't want parents to ever feel like they are in this alone . I want them , I want you to have support . I hope that this community and this podcast is creating that . Number two I don't want parents to ever feel ashamed of not parenting perfectly . Now , I can't completely prevent that . Sometimes we're going to feel shame . It's just a fact of life . But the reason why I share embarrassing stories about when I have lost my shiznits as a parent is because my hope is that by me being vulnerable with you , you will truly feel less shame in your own parenting mistakes , because we all make them .
Speaker 1None of us are perfect . I have often read parenting books that allude to this , that allude to the fact that the authors are not perfect either and don't expect anyone to be , but they never come right out and give examples . They never tell you about the actual mistakes that they make , and so when I read these books , I'm left thinking things like yeah well , you probably never did anything this awful Like I just called my child a horrible name . You probably never did anything like that . You probably haven't name called . I give you examples so that you can truly know that you are not the only imperfect parent . Even someone who could be considered a quote unquote parenting expert like myself makes mistakes , and so that is why I have shared some real , concrete examples of mistakes I've made in previous episodes and why I will continue to do that .
Speaker 1And number three , it is my intention to not just bring you parenting advice and how tos , but also to help you to improve your own mental health and overall well-being . This is why I provide a drop of Zen , a short guided meditation , every week , and why I have interviews with wonderful individuals like my dear friend Don Richards , who is an interior designer and wants to help individuals to have lovely and affordable homes . He wants you to feel good when you're in your own space , and I know that that helps to improve your well-being . And this leads me to the number one thing you can do as a parent to help your children and teens to have good mental health . And that is drum roll . Please take care of your own mental health and well-being .
Speaker 1I talked a little bit about this in episode number 49 when I interviewed my mentor , dr Lori Leiden , and we talked about our work here in Sandy Hook , connecticut , when we were supporting families experiencing trauma after the Sandy Hook tragedy . The children who came to me with trauma symptoms two years after the tragedy had parents who were also experiencing trauma symptoms and in most of those cases that trauma was from something previous to the Sandy Hook tragedy . So , yes , they had experienced trauma from the Sandy Hook tragedy . In some cases and I just wanna be clear , I'm not talking about necessarily families who had children in imminent danger Sometimes that was the case , but our entire community was shattered . If you think about where you live and how you have friends who also have other friends , or you have kids who play on teams with different kids who maybe are in a different local elementary school , how bus drivers know and interact with families and children , I mean the trauma was really wide reaching .
Speaker 1And while I don't want to ever get into specifics because the identity of my clients is so important to me to keep confidential at all times , I know I will share little stories and antidotes here and there to help to illustrate a point , but always when I do that and I'm mentioning something that happened with a client of mine I am very careful to not give you any identifiable information , and I am in some cases where I think there could be identifiable factors being mentioned . I just change them . I will change the sex of the person or some of the details . So just to put that out there , though and that could be a whole nother episode right Of how violence can just impact , especially gun violence . School shootings have such far reaching impact on an entire community , so just wanted to mention that .
Speaker 1But really , what I want you to understand from this is that when , as parents , we work on our own trauma , we work on our own trigger issues , right ? Those themes that come up with our kids like that just send us to the moon . I know for me , if a child one of my children ever says anything about me being lazy or selfish , I have such a big reaction because I work so hard to be a good parent . So , understanding what those triggers are for us so that we can work on them and heal those parts of us , we have less of a big reaction than with our kids . We are able to be there and to support them in their own challenges , in their own big emotions and big feelings . I will definitely be doing more episodes in this coming season , this next year , of podcasting on anxiety kids who are experiencing anxiety symptoms , parents who are supporting their kids with anxiety . That is just incredibly hard and I can tell you from my own experience in having a lot of anxiety when I was younger that when I had a child who started experiencing anxiety , I wanted to just run for the hills . I did not want to feel anxious .
Speaker 1And we pick up on feelings from our children . When we are lovingly connected to them , we do Really anyone in our family . We live as a family unit . Sometimes you'll hear in therapy that it is enmeshment . That is a term that's used to say that maybe you're feeling other people's feelings . But I'm here to tell you that is just a normal part of living in a family . Yes , it is helpful to be aware of that and to remind yourself oh , this is not my feeling , this is my child , I am an adult , I am , however old , I have done my work , I can sit here with them , I can allow them to feel their feelings and I can be okay .
Speaker 1Yes , there are so many ways that we can work on this . I'm just saying that when we work on this , when we work on supporting our own mental health and well-being , it has a ripple effect in a beautiful and positive way for our children . So let's remember that the best way I think we can support our children's mental health is to work on improving our own , and I hope very much that what I'm bringing you in this podcast is one piece to help you do that . I also want to help parents fill their own cups so that they aren't burnt out . I want them to have better , more enriching , fulfilling experiences as parents . Will we always have that ? No , is there any way to always have that ? No , I remember working with a dad years ago who said I just want to have harmony in my house and I was like dude , you and me both amen to that . But when our expectation is that that's always possible , we are setting ourselves up .
Speaker 1I am committed to bring you this podcast for free , as I mentioned , as a way of giving back . I am looking at having some additional ways to offer support , if you should choose . If you would like more . I'm hoping to make them affordable Now , can I make them affordable for every person ? No , of course it's not realistic . But I promise you this podcast will always remain free and I will do my best to continue bringing you good and helpful content in parenting and in boosting your own mental health and overall well-being .
So I hope that you found that interesting , getting a little peek behind the scenes in podcasting . I've got some ideas of some different types of interviews and material that I can bring you and that I plan on bringing you in the next year . I always welcome any of your suggestions , so feel free to reach out and let me know what you'd like to hear . All of my contact information is , of course , in the show notes . I think that's it for this week . I hope you'll come back and check out a drop of Zen , a short guided meditation , which will be out on Friday , and until next time , friends , I hope you'll take some time today and every day to do something kind for yourself .