Are you a minimalist or a maximalist ? Do you know what those two terms mean ? Well , on today's show I've got my best friend , lori Simon . One of us is definitely a maximalist and the other one leaning much more to the side of minimalism . We'll talk about what those two things are , how we embrace them and how you can find what feels right to you . Welcome to your Zen Friend . I'm your host , lauren Wolfe .
Speaker 1On this podcast , I will share wisdom from working as a licensed professional counselor for more than 20 years , using storytelling and lighthearted humor . Each episode will explore themes on personal growth , including tips and strategies to boost mental wellness and overall well-being . If you're a perfectly imperfect human like me , who's always striving to do better and feel better than this podcast is for you , let's get started . Welcome , zen Friend . I hope , wherever you are , you're doing well .
Speaker 1I am really excited to have my real-life bestie , lori Simon , back here on the podcast . Today we will be talking about minimalism and maximalism in the way of how we decorate and live in our homes . If you know either one of us , you can probably guess which one of us is leaning towards minimalism and which one of us is leaning towards maximalism . But I won't give that away . So stay tuned for that . Lori and I have a lot to get into . I think you'll really enjoy this episode . We do mention Halloween . I think it's Lori's favorite season , probably second to Christmas , but definitely one that she embraces so we will have a little mention of that and how she likes to decorate for it . So let's take a short break and then we'll get to my interview with Lori .
Speaker 1I love to connect with listeners and I'd love to hear from you . Please reach out , let me know what you're enjoying and let me know what types of interviews and topics you'd like me to cover in the future . You can find me on Instagram , at your zen friend pod , or email me at yourzenfriendpodcom . You can also join our private Facebook group by searching for your zen friend in groups on Facebook . Let's get back to our show . Welcome , lori . So glad to have you back on the podcast . Thanks for having me . So some listeners the cool , really committed listeners will remember that you were on episode number eight , opposites Attract , and episode number 11 , holiday Fantasy versus Holiday Reality . So it's good to have you back on , lori .
Speaker 2Thank you , you're welcome . We're getting ready to go into the big holiday seasons . For me , this is the best time of the year .
Speaker 1I know you revel in the holidays starting in Halloween . So I think , because this episode will air a couple of weeks into October it's almost October as we're recording maybe we can start right there . I'm curious , lori , what are the holiday preparations going to look like for Halloween ?
Speaker 2Oh , halloween's a big one around here . So right now we're in September still , so we do apples and bees and sunflowers , and then we are going to roll into Halloween , which is we just added a 20 foot inflatable Frankenstein to our front bed here and we have a I think he's like 10 or 15 foot inflatable Mickey candy corn along with various other friends in the yard , and then , oh my goodness , we have Day of the Dead bathroom Frankenstein dead , haunted mansion , second 10 .
Speaker 1What ? What is this Day of the Dead bathroom meant ?
Speaker 2That's , each one of my rooms has a different core theme . Oh , oh , my gosh , I'm so sorry to interrupt you .
Speaker 1Okay , keep going , keep going Day of the Dead bathroom . What came after that Day of ?
Speaker 2the Dead bathroom and then I use . Oh my , I have an extensive Disney Halloween popcorn bucket collection and actually just last Friday I did a four hour round trip in the car trying to score this year's hot skeleton and I missed it by a few hours . My kids made fun of me because I actually almost cried in the magic kingdom because I didn't get the bucket . But I'm not going to give up . I'm going to go back . Hopefully they'll have more . They sold out .
Speaker 2Never give up girl , I never give up . You know what I mean ? They actually my daughters were joking because they're like look at mom , look how fast she's walking . That's the fastest she ever walks . That's my cardio to get to the popcorn bucket . I'm like I need that bucket .
Speaker 1Oh my gosh . And we haven't even gotten into minimalism versus maximalism , but I think listeners have an idea where we're going . So this is perfect . So every room has a different Halloween theme , so that includes decorations . And I'm imagining , lori and I forgot to ask you to tell listeners a little bit about yourself , but you are my best friend for a very , very long time , since we were essentially what freshmen in high school and I live in Connecticut . You live in Florida , so I don't get to see your fabulously Halloween themed house very often . So I'm imagining , lori , that your bathroom , like , probably has decorative towels and probably the soap dispenser is decorative .
Speaker 2Do you remember you came to visit one time and we ran out of hand soap in the guest bathroom and you came out and you said , do you have another soap ? And I'm like , no , those are just my holiday soaps . And you're like I know better than to use your holiday soap .
Speaker 1Oh , yes , I think I looked in your closet and you had all sorts of different holiday themed like soft soaps and None of them matched with this season . We were in and I was like , uh-uh , I'm not gonna be that person that takes the wrong soap out .
Speaker 2I'm not gonna lie . I just hoarded up at Walmart . I think I bought six of the fall flavors of soft soap . Oh my gosh . And what month is it it was ? It was August , so I'm always ahead of the game , trying to get ready for the next holiday .
Speaker 1Oh my gosh , lori . Okay , so here's where I'm at . Yes , that feels like a lot of work to me . I typically will put out some Halloween decorations the end of September or early October and I don't have any blow-ups , because we had a holiday blow-up , a Christmas blow-up . We're pretty sure my parents dog took it down , so that's about right . That was pretty sad . And we also , you know , we've got the two dogs of our own and Snoopy is , you know , he's only two , so this was before we had Snoopy . He would totally take it down . But I just have like probably the equivalent of like two , like kind of large Tupperware bins full , and I have some . I know Such a novice , right , that's very funny , so funny , and I've got some decorative pillows . But even that , this is crazy . Even that stresses me out . Here's what stresses me out I put up the Halloween and then I have like a month , and then I'm putting up the Thanksgiving and then I've got less than a month and then it's the holiday hustle for Christmas . It just feels like too much .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean , it's a lot . And we so we have six kids , my husband and I , and we celebrate Hanukkah too . So this year Hanukkah is , I think , it's the first week in December , around the seventh or eighth , so that's another holiday that I got to throw in there and get all decorated for . I will say , now that I am reaching the ripe old age of 51 , that it is getting harder and I'm tired and I yell at people . But I can someone help me ? Why would anyone help me ? But it's my thing and I like it .
Speaker 2And then the funniest thing is if something is missing . So imagine we have 25 Disney Halloween popcorn buckets and then someone's like wait , you're missing the mummy . Where's the mummy ? So the kids , even though they say they know what's missing , they and and I've even not not at all minimalist , but I have even saved , like the toys that correlate with those holidays . So I have the Vampirina dolls , the monster high dolls , so those are packed away . So to your two buckets . I have those really big black and yellow ones . I probably have 25 Halloween , just alone .
Speaker 1Oh my god lori 25 , yes , oh my god , and that's not even .
Speaker 2It's probably that many . Yeah , I have a lot , and then I have pieces that are too big , so they're on a shelf . Like have a big frankenstein and a cauldron , yeah , wow not minimal , no , so okay .
Speaker 1So this brings me to where I'm at . So my fantasy self , what I would love to have happen , Is that I have such a minimal amount of clutter and a minimal amount of stuff that I could actually throw down A bucket full of Halloween decorations and do it in half an hour and then easily Switch it out another half hour , maybe tops for Thanksgiving . That's my fantasy and it's not the reality . So here's where I'm at right now . Lori , I think you and I both have , I would say , larger sized homes , right , we both have well over 2000 square feet , right , probably like 3000 something . And so I think what has happened for me Is that it's like , well , just stashing in here , stashing in there , I just put it away . I don't like looking at things outwardly cluttered , but we're at the point where I haven't for years now really done a big clean out , so that there's just is outward clutter and it's making me crazy . So I started recently . We've got the room we call it the playroom , don and I recently talked about this . Don Richards , he was just on recently , I can't remember which . I think it was Maybe episode 51 , but don't quote me , I'll put it in the show notes and he is helping me to redecorate that room , so we refer to it as the family room because that's really how it's used .
Speaker 1Now , right , so I have two children . Lena , of course , is 20 and amens 18 . He's a senior . This is his last year , most likely before he goes away to college . So I'm just finding our needs are different and we have stuff like oh my god , laura , I had like a million puzzles . No one's doing puzzles anymore , so , like I kept Two puzzles and I brought one to work and then I put the rest in bags for goodwill . So I'm just trying to make the house now reflect where we are , and I also just I feel like I am a stuff manager , and so I found these youtube videos right of these women and there are men too , but I watched these women in particular who call themselves minimalist , and what I found is that there's like it's a spectrum with minimalism . There are people that have given away their car , who don't have bedside tables , who have only white walls with nothing on them and no area rugs . Right , you're joking , I swear to god .
Speaker 1That makes me anxious just like thinking about that , about that , and then I was like I know there is such a thing as maximalism , right , it's what I think of is like , is you and I don't mean this in a bad way , but like no , I think collecting things has always brought you joy . You've had collections since I've known you and yeah , you like to have all the stuff , and I actually was doing a little research for this episode .
Speaker 2Oh boy , I'm afraid I know .
Speaker 1I know that's the first time I think I've ever really done that
. And I found this woman on youtube who , oh , I forget how she described herself , but she said her style was chaotic . That is really funny , isn't that funny ? She likes vintage clothing and she likes to collect things . So I thought that was really interesting and here I got it . I got to shuffle through my papers here because I thought I had it right where I could see it . Here I found it . Okay .
Speaker 1So she says that she's recently been decluttering , but Not in a way where she's looking to be a minimalist , but just where she wants less clutter . And so she said now , as she declutters , she says or asks herself the questions what is its purpose ? If it has no place to go , no purpose in my home , and brings no sense of purpose or joy , then I'm going to let it go . And so that was interesting to me , because those seem to be many of the questions minimalists ask themselves to . But I thought this is beautiful because it just illustrates you can still do this in a way when probably a maximalist really says oh , having this collection and having all these things and having my room these bright colors and with all these decorations is what brings me joy , and still apply those principles .
Speaker 2So this summer we did a . You know the kids are getting older , some are moving out , some are coming back from college that they're going , so we Decided we were going to move some rooms and I think that I have reached my maximum . I know my husband has he's like get rid of it , like we don't need any of it . Like I have every toy Almost . So we have the five girls . Like I have every single girl toy .
Speaker 2I let go of a lot of things and clothes . Like you know , I'm holding on to homecoming dresses from the girls in prom . I'm like girls unless you're gonna wear this . So for me that was huge . Like we have taken numerous trips to goodwill and salvation army to donate but we have so much more . But I still my . For me the scale down would probably send you into a panic attack . Like I'm just looking at my scrapbooking shelf and I must have like 25 scrapbooks . That's a scale down . I got rid of what's it using and the paper . So yeah , I can , I can be a minimal maximalist , but that's all it is . I can't get rid of it . And I don't think I would ever get rid of my holiday decor . Like obviously , if I'm not going to be living in a house . The sides and my kids are all gone , but I'm already . Honestly , they're taking dibs . They're like I want that when she gets rid of it , I want that .
Speaker 1Yes , of course you are . That's actually very funny . We'll just push it out with them . Right to your point , lori , I love my holiday stuff too . I think for me it's really the Christmas stuff that I love . I find joy . I don't know why , but I don't really . I know , but I don't really love Halloween , I know .
Speaker 2That's blasphemy .
Speaker 1I know it doesn't do anything for me . So I think , all right , this is what I'm considering . But it feels kind of uncomfortable . I was thinking of just putting out my turkeys and a couple of my pilgrims and just going like , and just more autonomy decor , like really 90% autumn . But then I feel , yeah , it doesn't feel right putting out my turkeys this early . But then I'm like it's not like Martha Stewart's coming over , right , no , but do you have like a ?
Speaker 2so once November comes , you won't find a jack-o-lantern in here . It has to be a pumpkin , yeah me too . So you have a jack-o-lantern like at least add that to your fall , or like a spider or a scary , you know , a bird . You remember my spiders ? Right , my front hole I have .
Speaker 1Yeah , impressive . You'll have to take pictures and put them in our Facebook group for everyone .
Speaker 2yeah , I have like 20 spiders and to the point where last year they were like the kids were like I think it's gone too far . I'm getting freaked out . The spiders are everywhere .
Speaker 1Oh my God , that's hilarious . But I think your kids , like you said , they also enjoy them and they're like oh , I've got dibs on that . That . It really has brought them joy over the years that you really go so full out and they seem to get into it too .
Speaker 2They do , I think it's just though the it's not and I will
say so . I started going through my holiday decor because , you know , when we first got married , we had like some paper cutouts and little things , and I've started to maybe get rid of those things that are 20 years old , that were not in good shape you know , the ear was broken off of something or what Like that . I'm like , oh , I felt like I couldn't get rid of it because it was , oh , we got this as the first year we got married . This was our first jack-o-lantern , but the reality is like I'm not really gonna put that out . So I've started to let go of that stuff and just keep my new not all my new , but you know , my stuff that's in better shape or isn't crumbled with age . So that for me is a big gift too . And you know , I had all the kids whenever they made a project at school , I would have the pilgrim people and all that , yeah , and I took pictures and I let them go .
Speaker 1So I think you bring up a good point , Lori , that sometimes I think it's really hard to let go of some of that stuff that is sentimental , and as much as I don't like having all the stuff , author Gretchen Rubin often says outer , what does she say ? Outer order in her comm . Right , Outer order equals in her comm . She has a book by that title too , and for me that's totally true , Although , again , I think you can have a lot of stuff and still have order to it . But even though I am trying to have less , I find that I can have a hard time letting things go , For example , the sentimental stuff , the oh , the kids made this one .
Speaker 1They were little . But also like here is a Clinique facial wash . I just bought that , right , this is so stupid , Lori . The woman said it was great for dry skin . You know , my skin is really dry , it is super drying . I've used it a bunch of times . It's awful . It makes me feel like I just used like I don't know , like dial on my face or something , so I just need to throw it out . But I feel guilty throwing it out , but I can't pass it on , and then I'm like oh well , maybe I know who am I gonna give this to ? Oh hey , this dried the shit out of my face , Would you like it ? I have a hard time with that kind of stuff . How is it for you when you do get rid of things ?
Speaker 2Oh yeah , so I have learned I have to put it in . So we , because we did the big clean out and when I say a big clean out , I still have like weeks of cleaning out to do but we did Me too Well , I think too , like with the holiday decor . It's great , but it's the regular clutter , if that makes sense , because we've been homeschooling our six kids too , so I had all of that in this house too . So I've started to get rid of the years that we're not using . But yeah , it's a real struggle . So I've been putting it in white bags and I label it donate and then I move it to the hall and then after that I move it to the garage and then I put it in the truck and I donate it . Now , if I look in the bag , I will lose my mind and be like why , did ?
Speaker 2I put that in there . I need to take that back . So I don't look in the bag . But I'll tell you a funny story . So I like to thrift , I like to look for things I went to and I've told Ross my husband do not donate where I thrift , so you can donate it at another location , but do not donate it at the store I go to , because if I see it there I'm gonna go crazy . So I'm in the thrift store one day looking around and I'm like , oh , I saw a blanket that was mine .
Speaker 1Oh , my God .
Speaker 2God I donated and I'm like , oh , you did not . So I took my oldest daughter . I'm like , did dad take that stuff to the Goodwill ? And she's like I don't think so . I'm like I told him not to donate it . Here I was had a whole little fit , like I actually got hot , and I was like , oh , what else in this store is mine ? I'm looking around like am I kidding myself ? I donated , I don't need it . But the best part of the story is I come home and I look in my closet and there's the blanket .
Speaker 2Oh no way , I mean , that still wasn't mine . Oh my God , that still was the same one and I'm like , okay , but now I've lost my mind .
Speaker 1That's so funny . Can you imagine if you bought it I ?
Speaker 2would have had to , but I can't even in the first place .
Speaker 1Oh my God , that's so funny . Lori , I feel your
pain . I don't think I could tolerate going into the store and seeing my thing for sale , even if it's something I don't need .
Speaker 2Yeah , exactly , it would feel uncomfortable .
Speaker 2It was absolutely like I need it back . And then , too , I donated some homecoming dresses . And then one of the girls was like , oh , my friend needs a dress which I would have happily given to them . And I'm like , oh , I just took those dresses and donated them . So that makes me crazy , but I have to let it go , because we are drowning in things that we're not using all the time either . So it's fine With the holiday decor . I can justify it because it comes out , goes away , but the regular clutter is yeah .
Speaker 1Yeah , and it sounds like you are going through the holiday decor too and thinning it out a bit . Also , I think that some of the issue is that nowadays there are dollar stores everywhere and Target bins and Michael's craft stores or Holly Hobby , joanne's fabric , like all these places you can get the little discounted like oh , it's $2 , it's $2.99 .
Speaker 2Oh , it's so cute .
Speaker 1And it's really easy to just acquire stuff . Absolutely I don't think that existed when we were little , no and I think that's like .
Speaker 2You see that in the thrift , when you find like a vintage piece that is older and it's just like it was made better , it lasts longer . You know people had it . You can tell when something's older and I like those older pieces . But you're absolutely right , and Ross will always yell at me . I'm like I just got it . The dollar store . He's like but if you bought 50 of them , does it matter $50 ? I'm like well , good point what . I go and buy one item for 15 . No , but I'll go , let me grab that sign . It's only a dollar . Let me grab this . You're absolutely right , and that's so I end up adding all these little pieces .
Speaker 2Yeah you're right it totally adds up .
Speaker 1And then I found that I'll do the oh , okay , I'll clean out these puzzles here . Oh , I'll take them to my office because I work as a therapist with kids and teens . But I'm realizing I'm really starting to fill up my office now and I don't want to jam packet full of stuff I just won't be using at work either .
Speaker 2Yep , it's very easy . I mean we moved what almost well , nine or ten years ago into a bigger house and we just filled every nook and cranny . So yeah , I'm saying too much . We have to downs , we have to downsize the stuff . And it's not him , it's me , and he will be like what are you talking about ? It's all you and . But I say it's me and the kids , it's the stuff for the family , like sorry , it's you who have your side of the closet , the rest is all ours , that's very funny .
Speaker 1Yeah , I feel like Mars is . He loves a discount and he , if he sees something for a good price , he'll get it , whether or not he needs it . So I I need to get him on board with this too , or otherwise . He's like constantly undermining me , but I'm on Mars a team . Yeah , it's yeah , it's hard and I know you know it's easy for me to point fingers at him , but I have my own stuff . So here was another tip for decluttering , which was To to get rid of items that are for your fantasy self .
Speaker 2So I'll give you an example Mm-hmm , was that my size age ? Shorts that I sent out .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , it could be clothing , right , absolutely clothing that we're holding on to . Um , oh my god . And that's funny , lori . That makes me think . I have a pair of pants I refer to as my fancy pants . Yeah , I , I bought them in the 90s . I think I can still snoss it myself into them . They don't fit me like they used to . That is impressive . Well , they they're like velvet , they're a little . They've got some , they've got some give . They are Super low rise with a giant Silver zipper , like in the middle right . Oh my god , like I don't see the crotch area , like above the crotch , but you know what I mean . Like the low belly area . They are black . They have like , like they're the pattern on them's velvet . They have like glitter on them . Oh my god , they're so fabulous .
Speaker 2I will not get rid of those pants .
Speaker 1Those are amazing pants . They will be worn again someday Maybe not , but I bought them when I was in my 20s for $80 and that was like . Yeah , that was like a huge sale from this little boutique that was going out of business . They were supposedly from Paris , who the hell knows . I never bought big items like I'm still pretty thrifty and those pants just bring me joy when I see them . Yeah , I'm keeping those pants . That is so funny . But I can justify like one pair of like yeah , okay .
Speaker 1So yes , fantasy self could be Fancy pants which , let's face it , I probably will never wear again . You know pants or clothing that are Large sizes too small for us . Fantasy items can also be like today I was looking for my sweater because it's gotten really cold here in Connecticut .
Speaker 2And I'm so jealous , oh , my god .
Speaker 1It was . It was it's cold today and I found an entire bin with Scrapbooking stuff . You just mentioned that . Now , for you , you made oh my god , lori , I don't even know how many double digits amounts of scrapbooks for your family , and I think you'll have to tell me in a sec if you're continuing to scrapbook . But for me , I got about six pages into a scrapbook for Lena . I did from the time she was born until she was six months old and I never got any further . So I think it's time to let that go .
Speaker 2Well , see , now that's very interesting . So I have the two of all those kids I did like their First school books and then I went to family books , like when we went on a fancy like we did a cruise , so I did one and then I did my younger girls . They did , they danced for nine years . I did their books nice . But I still have books that are . I'm looking at , them are in the wrapper that I'm going . You know our earmarks and the Ross always jokes like why don't you go scrapbook ? And I'm like shut up because then . But then with our homeschool , every year we do a digital book as record that we you know We've done things and what we've been doing . So I kind of replaced it with the digital books , but I still have all my supplies and I don't know who I'm kidding because are those stickers still gonna be sticky ? It's been 15 years in the closet , maybe more , maybe 20 might be it's maybe well , they're in here .
Speaker 2I did finally let the little one stick them all over for fun , like some of them . But stop my kids . But I have . So , speaking of the kids in the scrapbooking as they went through their years homeschooling , every year we have to make a portfolio and that shows , like what they did , their work , and I have them all bound like per year per kid , and each kid has one , like I guess they call it like a file box with their their school years and it's like memories of their schoolwork if they did writing samples . So now let's see . For I've graduated high school .
Speaker 2I said to them can you please take your box and put it in your room ? Are they crazy ? So I was like no , I've been holding them for all these . You can take them . You've graduated , now I don't know . Then they're like , just throw
it out . The funny part , ross , who doesn't want to save anything . He went crazy . He's like you work so hard on those books , meaning me like putting them . They're not throwing those away , they're taking them with them and I'm very funny that he reacted .
Speaker 1That was nice , he had your back .
Speaker 2Yeah , so they're , they're here . They're just now milling around the house in different places .
Speaker 1And I would imagine five years from now , if you had thrown them out , your kids would be like oh , I should have saved those .
Speaker 2Yeah , I would .
Speaker 1They're probably not far enough away from being a kid . Yeah , at this point to appreciate that you saved that . Yeah , oh my gosh , but you know , I think that I'm gonna let go of the scrapbooking to your point , lord there's . There are , I think , easier , quicker ways now to make digital Books . What we have always done , since the kids were babies , is made a calendar each year and those calendars yeah , they have pictures .
Speaker 1So I Make myself feel better by saying like , hey , I've got these calendars from each year that are essentially memories and photos . So I , while I don't have picture books , I have 20 years worth of calendars . So that's awesome .
Speaker 1Yeah , and my parents have them too , so I know they'll save theirs , and then each kid can have one of them . So it's better than nothing , yeah , or you know , I make them on Costco . I could probably just get others printed , or or maybe put them into photo books . Okay , there's my fantasy self again . Yeah yeah , I've got something . It's better than nothing . I mean , we've got all these digital photos . So that's what I was gonna say .
Speaker 2It's very different for our kids , like when we grew up and we had pictures , like remember , we would find a picture from high school now and we're like , yes , like there was pictures . Now pictures are 24 seven . They take pictures all the time , so it's not the same for them , I don't think yeah , no , you're absolutely right , it's really different .
Speaker 1All right , laura , so describe for me a room that would make you just so happy and joyful . Oh , a room yeah , where you have all the stuff in it that makes your heart happy . Maybe you already have this room in your house right now , or maybe it's one of your rooms and the way it's decorated during a holiday season .
Speaker 2Okay . So I would like if I could get better control of my bedroom because I constantly dump stuff in there . So I think that room I actually would like to be minimal , but it's not . But I and we also we have a German Shepherd and you know Lexie Dog , and she sleeps in our room and she loses a lot of fur all the time , so that my ideal room would have no dog hair floating around all the time . But I like my den . Right now in my house it has . I have one of those IKEA I think it's called Cal FAC shelves , you know with the 16 squares . Oh yeah , so when I downsized the playroom and got rid of the toys , I had that shelf free up . So I moved that into the den and now I have each little cube like right now it's Apple season , so each cube has a different little Apple or B or a book that goes with it . So that makes me happy when I look at it and I can't wait to put all my Halloween stuff in it by Christmas .
Speaker 1I love that , laura . I love how you know exactly what it is that makes you happy and it sounds like you really look forward to doing the different seasonal decorating and you know , yeah , you've got your really defined themes for each time of the year , which is cool , I think .
Speaker 1so it's funny . You say your bedroom . Our bedroom is not too far off what I would really like it to be . We tend to have a pile of clothing it's not mine , that's all I'm gonna say On the dresser that's in front of our bed . That has the television that we don't ever use , but that's in there and also our like we each instead of . Well , mars has a side table . I have a dresser next to me . I have like so much jewelry , like costume jewelry , I have necklaces that are knotted . I have things I don't wear . I just have too much on my dresser . I wanna just clean that out and really help Mars to clean out what he's got going on on top of the side table . So clean it off , minimize it . I really think it could be like less than a day and my bedroom could be like just what I want . And I do agree . I think the bedroom would be a rewarding space to have like clear of all excess stuff .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm really lacking in that area right now and I also . I think our room is gray and yellow and I think I'm done with the yellow I'd like to . The walls are gray , but I have yellow accents . I think I wanna bring in another color , just maybe like a blue , mix it up .
Speaker 1Yeah , or like lavender is nice with gray . Yeah , that's true .
Speaker 2I like lavender .
Speaker 1So there was one of the YouTubers that I like . She is called Minimal Mom and she named three different reasons for why she likes being a minimalist and these spoke to me . Now I am never going full blown minimalist . I don't think I like things on my walls , I like area rugs and things with texture that just kind of make a home warm . So I don't think I'm going too far in that direction , but I definitely want to have less stuff . So here were the three reasons that spoke to me . One less stuff to manage . Number two , less time looking for lost items . And number three less cleaning air . Oh my gosh , I can't talk today . Less cleaning and easier to clean , so that all speaks to me .
Speaker 2Yeah , I fail at all of those things pretty much .
Speaker 1I feel like lately I'm looking for something all the time .
Speaker 2Yeah , the worst looking for something .
Speaker 2So you know I always take the kids birthday pictures with the number so they take like number one , number two , number three , and it was one of the kids , one of the girls , botmitzva and I was looking for , like year number 10 . I tore down the house looking for that photo and I couldn't find it anywhere . And I'm digging and I have . I do have boxes , like each kid has a box . I put the photos in , couldn't find it , couldn't find it and I think it was my sister and La Jessica , finally , who said to me don't you remember you went to digital , like I , oh gosh , and I'm like , no , I don't remember that . It's like that never happened . And she was right and it was there .
Speaker 2But I , that kind of behavior which I repeat often , looking for like that one item , I do that to myself at the holidays , when I like stash gifts away , and I'm like , no , I know , I bought a pack of blue hair scrunchies and I'm digging around everywhere I'm looking for it . So I would like that , if I could you know if I had order , then I could just say , okay , it always goes in this place , but I don't do that . I put it somewhere safe .
Speaker 1I'm infamous for that , me too and then sometimes I never see it again .
Speaker 2Absolutely , or I find it , you know , at Easter , the Christmas stocking that I couldn't find .
Speaker 1So you're making me think too , laura . I can't believe . We are literally almost a year out from when we , I think , last recorded when we talked about our holiday fantasy versus reality . Oh my God , Lori and I spoke to you on the phone quite a bit while you were hunched over with back pain in your garage wrapping gifts . Do you want it to be different this year ? Are you still embracing the fantasy of what you want it to be ? Are you making any changes ? I'm curious .
Speaker 2Yeah , I don't think I'm making any changes . No , I'm .
I literally purchased my first Christmas gift today . Wow , yeah , I did for the little one . I found something on sale and I was like , yeah , I'm gonna grab that . So , yeah , my fantasy would be like that . I would be on the wrap and have that all taken care of as I went . That is not a reality , that will not happen . I know it will not . So I've stopped beating myself up for wanting it to be away when I know it's not going to be . So that's a huge hurdle , I think .
Speaker 1That sounds like a big shift , because if you can say to yourself , because this is what I just did with my , what I learned with my colonoscopy , let me make a comparison here . I think , when you just know it's gonna be awful , but it's a finite amount of time and the payoff is worth it , then you just find a way to do it .
Speaker 2You're right , and I think that's with anything . Corlaini . My oldest daughter is an RN and she's going to night shift and so she's gonna be working overnight and she's already . I'm like you . The biggest thing I think you can do is like don't think about it , don't be obsessed with how much am I gonna sleep , when am I gonna sleep . I'm like just let it happen . I'm like if you work the day shift , you don't think about how long am I sleeping , when do I go to bed ? I'm like you sleep when you're tired . She's like that's good , that's a good mindset . I'm just gonna go like .
Speaker 2I'll let you know in a few weeks how that works out .
Speaker 1I think it sounds like really really good advice , Lori , I think , for me going into the holidays I can't even believe we're here and I say like , oh wow , you got a Christmas gift . But you know what I ordered , Lena , one off Etsy last night . So I'm right there with you . One of the other benefits of minimalism again I wanna embrace it only to a certain degree is it saves money , because if you're really looking at objects to say like , will this really bring me joy or is it purposeful ? It's really gonna cut down on what you're purchasing and bringing into the home and especially with all the decluttering , it's so much work and it's emotionally challenging .
Speaker 1I think I'm going to be less likely to just , without thinking , be bringing things back into the house . But along those lines , I would really like for Christmas to do maybe like a gift that's a little bit bigger rather than like all the little ones . Or I would really like like . What I wanna ask for is an experience . I want to go see Back to the Future on Broadway . It's supposed to be great oh wow , yeah .
Speaker 1So I wanna talk to Mars about can we do this instead of giving each other gifts , and that's an experience , and we get to do that with the family , which I think , as my kids are getting older , I'm just realizing how precious that is to spend time together and do things .
Speaker 2Yeah Well , last year we went on a Disney cruise . After it we left on New Year's Eve and we went for a week . That was literally the best thing that we've ever done . Awesome , we still had our Christmas presents and stuff , but I think we tried to close to wear and stuff like that . That was not just items , because in the vacation is what everyone remembers Nobody thinks about wait , where are those shoes that I got for Christmas last year ? No , everyone still talks about the vacation .
Speaker 1That makes total sense . I've heard too that when you do things , you have these experiences . It makes time go more slowly because you really appreciate it and you remember it Right too in a way that if you're just working , working , working all the time , like myself it just all blends into each other . All the days start to blend .
Speaker 2That's for sure . We do too many kids activities right now . I think that is also the same thing , like the months , days , weeks are zipping by , yeah , for sure . I think I need to minimize that .
Speaker 1Oh , okay , that makes sense . Oh , and I wanted to mention that makes me remember , laurie that there's an author named Kim John Payne . I'll put it in the show notes . He has a great book called Simplicity Parenting and he is a therapist . He talks a lot about not having games and toys in younger children's bedrooms and in the spaces that they play , having much , much less .
Speaker 1I remember reading his book and my kids were pretty little , probably like seven years old , maybe five years old , and they were out with Mars for the day and I really cleaned the play space . I put a lot of things away in purgatory , like will they miss it ? And if not , I'm going to pass it on . He talks about doing that . They played so much when they got back that day and played so deeply and it lasted for a long time because they really gravitated to the things that were there Instead of getting overwhelmed with their being like so much that they're like I don't know what to do . Yeah , I think that's true . Yeah , it totally makes sense . So for anyone out there with younger kids , just a tip that might be helpful . So will you come back , laura , maybe around Christmas we can do another episode and see where you're at .
Speaker 2Absolutely Revisit the giant decor fiesta that is about to unfold .
Speaker 1I cannot even wait . I think that will be so much fun hearing about it .
Speaker 2Yeah , I mean , I'm not going to lie . I am very much looking forward to my Halloween decorations and getting them out and opening the boxes and putting them up . I have one more birthday and then the apples are going down and the Halloween is coming out .
Speaker 1Awesome , laura . Well , please take pictures and post them in our private Facebook group for anyone that wants to join . They can find it by looking for groups in Facebook and searching for your zen friends , so I hope listeners will join . That's a fun place to be . It is Indeed my friend . Well , thank you for joining me . I'm so glad you took time out . You're welcome . I fit you in . You did , girl . I know your schedule is super busy , so I really appreciate it . Thank you for having me . My pleasure . I hope you enjoyed my interview with Lori . Did you identify as being either a maximalist or a minimalist , or do you find that you are somewhere in the middle ? I'd love to hear from you . I mentioned earlier how you can connect on our private Facebook group . You can also find me on Instagram , at yourzenfriendpod , or email me at yourzenfriendpod at gmailcom . I'm so glad you joined me here today . Until next time , friends . I hope you'll take some time today and every day to do something kind for yourself .