Hey listeners , really important that you know . We discuss holiday magic in this episode and give away some secrets . This is not an episode for tiny Zen friends . If you're listening with a child , please listen to another episode or do a guided meditation , a drop of Zen together , and then come back to this when you're all by yourself . Welcome to your Zen friend . I'm your host , lauren Wolfe .
Speaker 1On this podcast , I will share wisdom from working as a licensed professional counselor for more than 20 years , using storytelling and late-hearted humor . Each episode will explore themes on personal growth , including tips and strategies to boost mental wellness and overall wellbeing . If you're a perfectly imperfect human like me , who's always striving to do better and feel better than this podcast is for you , let's get started . It's the most wonderful time of the year , or maybe not ? Welcome , zen friend . I hope , wherever you are , you're feeling merry and bright . If you are anything like me , you're probably feeling sometimes merry and bright , sometimes not so much . On this episode , I have my dear friend , laurie Simon here . We are gonna keep it real . We are gonna do a check-in with where we are as we approach the holidays . As you listen to this episode if you're listening around the time when it drops , then we are yikes . We are about less than a week away from Christmas . This episode comes out on Tuesday , december 19th , and Christmas , of course , it's on the 25th , which is on a Monday .
Speaker 1This year , as we recorded this episode , we are in Hanukkah . It's during the time of Hanukkah , so happy Hanukkah . If that is a holiday that you celebrate , you might remember my friend Laurie . She has been on in the past . And if you haven't heard our episode that we recorded last year around this time of year , it is titled Holiday Fantasy vs Holiday Reality . It's episode number 11 , check it out .
Speaker 1We talk about the things that really bring us joy during the holidays and the things that make our heads spin . We each explore what we can let go of . Well , in this episode we have an update of sorts . I talk about what we identified last year as far as what we wanted to let go of . I let you know if I've been successful . And well , I'll just leave it there . We'll talk to Laurie and check in with where she's at , with what she ended up deciding last year on her episode and with where she is now . And just a quick reminder that Laurie has six children Her oldest is 24 , her youngest is 10 . She lives in Florida . She homeschools . I live in Connecticut so I don't get to see her face to face nearly enough , but we talk on the phone old school style nearly every day . We talk a lot , so we're always very connected and very much have fun chatting with one another .
Speaker 1I hope you have fun listening in today . Just a quick housekeeping note to let you know that I will be taking off next week , so no episode will air for Tuesday , december 26th , but I will be back with a new episode for you on Tuesday Today , january 2nd , so let's take a short break and then we'll get right to my interview with Laurie . Hey there , zen friend . I so appreciate you listening to this podcast and if I could ask two favors of you , please , if you would take a moment to rate and review this podcast on either Apple or Spotify , that helps other Zen friends to find us and that will help me to grow the show and bring on fabulous guests . If you could also share it with a friend , that is another really effective way of helping the show to grow . It is my mission to help parents to fill their own cup and boost their own mental health and overall wellbeing , so I very much appreciate your help .
Speaker 1Now let's get back to our show . Welcome , laurie . So happy to have you back on the show , so glad to be here . Oh , my goodness friend , you and I talk nearly daily , so it's so funny that we are like so official , plus we never look at each other . So this is like this is a treat .
Speaker 2But it's weird too . It's a little weird , it is weird , it's a little weird . And I'm hiding in my closet , so it's even weirder .
Speaker 1I love it . It's great . I am jealous . I wish I had a nice walk-in closet to record in . I am hiding in a corner office of my office . Usually it's a great space , but I think I was telling you . I think there's a photographer above me and it literally sounds like people are racing each other in high heeled shoes . It's ridiculous . It's driving me nuts
. All right .
Speaker 1So I just listened to our episode that we recorded last year . I can't even believe it . It's episode 11 , because now I'm in the 60s , I think this will be episode 63 , I think . Good for you . Yeah , thank you . And episode 11 was fantasy versus reality , like holiday fantasy versus reality . Oh my gosh , lori , it was so fun . And here's my quick synopsis of where we were last year Probably not in a good place , the same place as we had this year . We were not in a good place and it's so funny . Last year's episode aired on December 6th . I must have recorded it just a couple of days before it aired . This year ours won't record , or it won't air , rather , for two weeks . So we're recording on the eighth , but it won't go out for two Tuesdays , so we are in a similar timeframe at least when we're recording . It's gonna go out when we're closer to the holidays , but where ?
Speaker 1we were last year , we were both feeling stress and overwhelm . You were sharing that you still had Thanksgiving decorations to put away and you were working on it . I had just gotten over COVID and I was like incessantly clearing my throat because this was before . I had a fantastic editor and I was feeling relieved that I had finally finished decorating everything and I was like , oh my God , girlfriend , it must have been like December 4th . When we were recording , it was like , yeah , I was acting as if it was like December 20th .
Speaker 2I know , but the panic is real . Well , I feel actually better about myself because I'm not done decorating , but all my Thanksgiving stuff is away and it has been for a week . Look at me , I'm fancy this year , you're ahead of the game .
Speaker 1I am . It's awesome . And yeah , you were saying that what you have learned , or what you had learned last year , was that Santa got all of the props and you were saying if you could go back in time , you might give your . You know , do a little bit more from you and your husband . And also you shared a beautiful example of Livy wanting to read a book and you , in the moment , were busy , and then you said the book is still here and I wish I had taken those five minutes because the kids really look to spend time with you and that is what you were identifying as really what was most valuable .
Speaker 2Oh , I'm so glad you said that , because last night she was the first night of Hanukkah . Happy Hanukkah , thank you . We had played Dradle earlier in the day and then she's like this play one more game , one more . I'm like I can't , I have no time , I have to go Now . I feel really guilty . So but that's good , no , it just made me check myself . It's a good reminder . So , yeah , we're gonna play Dradle today and read the Hanukkah books .
Speaker 2Because , time is ticking . She's almost 11 . So yeah , it goes by so quickly it does . I know we talked about this she had . We had the Santa conversation .
Speaker 1Oh yeah , oh wait , okay , go ahead Like the one we just passed . We did , but we didn't .
Speaker 2Yes , she asked me and I was like well , if I tell you we can't go back , I can tell you . And she started screaming like I ran her cat over and was like oh , and then I'm like well , I have a letter , that letter that floats around on the internet about explaining the magic .
Speaker 1Oh , I don't actually . No , I'm not familiar with this .
Speaker 2There's a letter about like that the magic isn't giving and that's the math , you know . It kind of explains it , but it doesn't . So her sisters , who are in their 20s , are like you have to believe in the magic . I mean she was screaming , Lauren , for like hours , crying and man , but literally she woke up . She's like I believe in the magic and that's the end of that conversation . So we are all in .
Speaker 1Gosh and she's 10 years old this year . Laurie right , oh my goodness . So yes , you might recall I had a similar situation with Lena , same age , and she asked me and I said the same thing , like very similar , like if we can talk about it , but once we talk about it , like once you have an answer , you have an answer . So think about whether you want an answer which is basically , in a roundabout way , being like yeah , you know , but you don't .
Speaker 2And that's how ? Because she says to me well , I want this for Christmas when you get me this , or so it we're working in a parallel . She knows but doesn't know .
Speaker 1Yeah , exactly , yeah , same with Lena . So she was like no , it's okay . And then you know , yeah , basically was like I'm choosing to believe , and that was the last year or so , probably .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I ordered a book off of Amazon that's supposed to be like . According to the reviews , it hasn't come yet , but it's like a . It's kind of like a keepsake , like you put pictures of your family in it and it's supposed to be . I'm trying to think . Let me see . I'm pulling up what it's called oh cool , where secrets are unlocked and the magic of Santa lives on for forever . It's called Santa's secret society .
Speaker 1Someone's making a killing on this .
Speaker 2All right .
Speaker 1Yeah , so I'll have this in the show notes . Can you say it again , lori ? Where ?
Speaker 2secrets are unlocked . Yeah , the title is shush like Santa's secret society , where secrets are unlocked and the magic of Santa lives on forever . Okay , so it's a cherish . Keep sake , why can I not talk today ? Your child will unlock the magic of Santa and become part of a new Christmas tradition . As a member of Santa's secret society , there's a secret contract , so it's kind of . I think it has things that it doesn't want your kid to go running around telling all the other six year olds that don't want the information yet .
Speaker 1So yeah , someone really thought this out .
Speaker 2Right , I'm interested . It hasn't come , but when it comes I'll let you know if it's . I like this . What's happening in it ? There's actually quite a few books , because I did a little research .
Speaker 1Oh really , yeah , Gosh why didn't we get in on this , Lori , I know really Genius .
Speaker 2You really need to monetize the choices , the parenting . So you ordered that book , lori , I did , and it's coming . But there was a few of them . Yeah , people are writing the books . I keep thinking to myself , after having six kids and all the things , why am I not writing children's books , right ?
Speaker 1Genius , absolutely , because you know what's needed . You know the books that you couldn't find it's absolutely true .
Speaker 2Like I've looked for certain ones and I'm like why isn't there a book about this ? I always like to do books with the kids . I think it's an easy way to share whatever you're trying to share . And it's funny because the little one asked me to read obviously she can read and she was like , will you read this to me ? I'm like really , and she's like the sound of your voice is soothing .
Speaker 1I thought that was really sweet . Oh , that's so cute , lori , I love it . So you're thinking you'll just kind of have this on hand and when the time is right , you'll have a sit down . Yeah .
Speaker 2Because I didn't know how she was . It was going to go Like what , but she's all in . We're doing our elf on the shelf and I bought the big kit this year . I broke down and bought the kit .
Speaker 1Yeah . So please tell listeners about this , because anyone who has an elf on the shelf , you know , probably with younger kids that could be a lot of work and I think that the problem , like you , gave me our elf on the shelf . The kids were little , like two and four years old , and at the time not everybody had this . I don't think Pinterest was a thing . So the bar was low , it was like you know , and they named him Pepper Rocco , which kills me . I'm always like it's me , pepper Rocco , how you doing Right . But basically it was like where's Pepper Rocco ? Oh , he's in the tree . Oh , he's in the chandelier , oh , he's on top of the curtains . And that was it . Pepper Rocco wasn't pooping marshmallows , she wasn't causing a mischief , it was . The bar was low and even still Mars and I would play paper was it rock paper scissors at night , when we'd be lying in bed and realize we'd forgotten . So right now it's in freaking sane and I feel for you , parents with younger kids . So this is genius . Tell our listeners what you have found .
Speaker 2So the funny part , when she was debating believing or not , the older kids are like you're still gonna do the elves . Right Now we're talking about 20-something year olds . I'm like , yeah , so I always go around and collect all the little like yeah , the funny stuff , like , oh , let's let the elf , you know , make a candy cane bridge . Let's do this , let's let me do . Oh , this will these mini brands will look cute with the elf .
Speaker 1You are super creative . I want to just stop right there and give you credit . You've done a lot of really cute stuff . You go way above and beyonds . Maurice , I did not .
Speaker 2The elves are always moving , yeah , so I was like you know what ? This year I saw an Etsy and they were on Facebook . Obviously , some strung out mothers somewhere also decided to monetize they made this little kit .
Speaker 2It comes with cards , it comes with the things , and every day it says do this . And it's like , for example oh my gosh , yesterday was a boom box that actually hooks up to your Bluetooth so you can play a song from your phone . Yeah , I took a video , it's super cute . Oh , and so you get the boom box . Yeah , you get the boom box . One day was a little tiny fireplace and they're supposed to be nope , but it's three seconds . You open the kit . They range in price from reasonable to ridiculous . I kind of went more towards the ridiculous , but I don't care , because I'm like this could be it .
Speaker 2This is my grand finale .
Speaker 1It saved your sanity . I was just about to say that , laurie , you were going out with a bang .
Speaker 2Yeah , it was so worth every cent . I highly recommend .
Speaker 1Oh , and although sometimes I wonder if we haven't talked about this , but I think with your oldest now being 24 , you might not be that far away from being a grandparent where I can just imagine you going all out for grandchildren . So I feel like you're gonna get a little breather and then you're gonna be like boom off and running again with the magic . You're probably right about that ?
Speaker 2Yeah , that's so funny . I told you one of them was like you can't get rid of that . That's for baby Finn . I'm like who is Finn , the imaginary child of the future ?
Speaker 1I'm like , oh my God , laurie , I love it . I love it . You're gonna be an awesome grandmother someday . You're an awesome mother today . So , basically , our takeaway was pretty funny . At the end of our episode last year and I encouraged listeners to go check it out if they haven't heard it I was asking like , okay , what are we not gonna do ? What are we gonna take off our plate ? That doesn't serve us . And I had said I would not make my lip bombs that I used to make for all my clients , and I didn't . I held to that . You really didn't . I really didn't do it . I thought I think I said , well , maybe I'll make them for Valentine's Day . Guess what ? I never had a hankering to spill beeswax all over my kitchen and I did not do it .
Speaker 2And ruin your KitchenAid mixer . It didn't go that way , nope .
So for you , you basically had talked yourself into . I'm not giving up anything , and you said you basically were like I am gonna accept that I like to do all the things and that sometimes they're hard , but like basically this is where I'm at .
Speaker 2Yeah , I'm still the same . Yeah , so yeah , tell me . I would say the kit was like a given . I did give a little there . Good point , good point , yep , well , oh no , and we talked about Baggate the Christmas .
Speaker 1Yeah , so refresh for you know , maybe we have listeners that didn't hear that episode or refresh our memories . Tell us about the year of gift bags and what your tradition is with the wrapping paper , so that people and people . I just wanna invite everyone to start deep breathing right now . Longer exhales than inhales will be coming , because this is gonna raise everyone's blood pressure . Go for it .
Speaker 2Yeah , so typically Santa wraps , or the elves , each child's gifts in a different wrap . So we have six wraps . The wraps are left at the end . That's how they know which one they go in . And I'm talking like everything down to like you know , the littlest tiny chopstick is in that wrap . So one year Santa was just tired . He had a lot of babies .
Speaker 1Yeah , let's also tell listeners how Santa pulls off wrapping even the tiniest polypocket purse . How does Santa do this ? What does that look like , Lori ?
Speaker 2He spends a lot of time in the garage .
Speaker 1Days , days in his garage hunched over .
Speaker 2Yeah , and he's it's not a good place , it's a dark place . Oh my God . Actually , the little one , libby , said to me are you going in the garage ? So I don't know , like what she thinks goes on out there , oh my God , so funny . Something . Yeah , so one year and I think I had multiple babies . Because the first four kids were born in five years , I decided to do gift bags .
Speaker 1And for , yes , you have six children .
Speaker 2Yeah , so the gift . Oh my God , the gift bags . When they were out it was like I had killed Christmas , like why are there gift bags ? Everyone was just horrible , just horrified . So but I bought gift bags , lauren , I bought gift bags .
Speaker 1What Stop it ?
Speaker 2I'm so proud of you Well yeah , and I actually called my office daughter and I was like , should I get the gift bags ? And she's like , oh , I don't know , but I okay , so I'm gonna back up a little .
Speaker 1I am so impressed , Lori , I can't even tell you I bought gift bags and wrap .
Speaker 2Oh boy , and I'm going to , because I always do like red and green , super traditional Christmas . This year I went with like brights , so pinks and blues . I'm tired . I need a little varieties . The garage is dark and lonely . I need something to spice it up . Oh , my God , I'm gonna try mixing it , but I don't know , I don't know , I don't know . This sounds confusing . You know , what I think I just did Is actually make more work for myself , cause now I'm gonna wrap it in the wrap in the gift bag , lori okay , I feel like I need to call an intervention here , okay .
Speaker 2I'm sweating out . What if ?
Speaker 1What if ? What if you just put it in the gift bags and people could reach in and just take out one at a time ?
Speaker 2That seems crazy , I don't know , I don't know if I can do it . Lauren , that's a lot . Oh like , actually I'm sweating . What would be okay ?
Speaker 1I not to like be your therapist , but I can't help myself . All right , what would be hard about that ?
Speaker 2I don't know , I just I don't know . I feel like it's not as exciting when it comes out of the bag . Okay , okay , alright , isn't like you unwrap it so .
Speaker 1I guess you would have a bag with all the individual gifts and people would have to kind of turn away and just reach in and pull things out , one at a time . Yeah , okay , oh yeah , I'm with you . It's not , it's not as exciting , you're right . But all right , here's where I would encourage you to feel into your body and imagine .
Speaker 1I want you to take a moment , maybe close your eyes , take a moment and Imagine that you put everything in the gift bags and just see what that's like and maybe see the extra hours of time and the lack of Backache . No , you can't , I know , I know . All right done . We don't even have to imagine the other , because I think you , I don't know .
Speaker 2Okay , I can't do it I . The only way I could do it is like lightly wrap it and toss it in the bag .
Speaker 1Girl , I wish I lived closer to you . I wish . I know I over there and we could just do this together and I would be done and I would just help you and we would talk and Drink seltzer and diet coke and just I know but I bought , we've , we've purchased a lot less .
Speaker 2So okay everybody has so many things . Number one I'm totally , and we do , because we homeschool . We don't do back-to-school clothes , so typically it's more like shoes and socks , like all the things you get back to school we do at Christmas , instead new shoes . You know , a sweater Is . We live in Florida , so we don't need too many sweaters , right , but it's just so it's gonna be less , so maybe I will kind of wrap it and dump it in , I don't know . Oh , have you seen the elf paper wrapping tool cutter ? This is supposed to be the new thing . Yeah , what the hell is this ? Yeah , it's so , it's . It's a little . Again , we failed to recognize a need . It's just like little . It almost looks like a Paper towel roll .
Speaker 1Oh , I have this . Yes , I think you guys sent this to me .
Speaker 2It does it works Okay , yeah , I upgraded my cutting system , so you go girl .
Speaker 1I got this a couple years ago . It's . I can't believe I didn't share this with you . I'm so sorry . It's definitely easier than scissors , but it's not like a miracle .
Speaker 2Okay , thanks for crushing my dreams . Sorry , I mean .
Speaker 1Maybe , maybe you'll find that it is a miracle . I'm also wrapping a lot less than you , so Well , and now ?
Speaker 2I just realized , looking at it , I buy the jumbo roll a paper that's not fitting around the jumbo roll , right , isn't it only fit like kind of a standard roll of gift ?
Speaker 1Oh , you know what ? I don't even . This is where my learning disabilities are all evident , where I really have a problem with like spatial reasoning me too .
Speaker 2I'm a bad estimator .
Speaker 1Maybe I don't think I'm using it correctly . I think maybe this is why it's not a miracle . I'm just kind of like Putting it around the paper and just work Sliding it up .
Speaker 2No , maybe you're right . This is see . This is why you and I have bonded , because we failed the math like no .
Speaker 1And I'll have to . I'll put this in the show notes too , If people don't know what we're talking about .
Speaker 2Right , it's like oh , you're doing it right . Wait , I see a video .
Speaker 1Okay , yeah , cuz I think I probably watched a video , We'll have to include this interesting . Yeah , I'll include a link in the show notes and I'll put it in our Facebook group too . Right , it looks like an open Paper towel roll where it's got a blade on one side and you can just kind of slide it over the paper and just Like drag it up .
Speaker 2Yeah , I wonder if it . It's limited in the side . The width of the wrap roll though Okay . So typically I buy my wrapping paper like when does the Christmas stuff come out ? I don't know . September .
Speaker 1I know you're made like , oh my gosh , literally like September , october , lately .
Speaker 2Yeah , and I literally just bought it . Two nights ago I was in a full-on panic attack . I'm like God , nothing , nothing is ready . I power shopped this morning online like I am not in my my zone , but then you made me feel good about my decorating .
Speaker 1Yeah . So look at that , Lori , I have . I have purchased one gift which we talked about back in like September . I had gotten it and was like Pat myself on the back . Oh wait , you know what , not true ? I did go with our mutual friend , tara , to the local craft fairs that they have last weekend and I got some stocking stuffers . I got a few things , but I also okay . So here's what I'm doing this year and let's see if I stick to this . I've told my family here is your monetary limit and you can get no more than three items . Oh , oh , that , wow , I know . I mean let's see . I mean I do stockings too , but stockings are like practical things , like my son Amen loves candy , sunflower seeds , things like that Lena likes face masks and .
Speaker 1You know little like moisturizers and things like that . Yeah , what do you think about that that ?
Speaker 2I want to . I mean , I think it's good . I wish I could do it . I feel like it would be a huge let down .
Speaker 1Well , yeah , I'll see if I can do it . We'll see Now interesting .
Speaker 2So but what if you could buy 25 items with that budget ? Would you allow that ? You just are saying three no because that's where I feel overwhelmed .
Speaker 1Then I have all the stuff to wrap , and then it's like one kid has 25 and one kid has three .
Speaker 2Yeah , that happened here last year .
Speaker 1Yes , I remember us talking about this last year .
Speaker 1This is what I was doing . I think you were too , but you can speak for yourself . I got to a point where I was like , wait , one kid's got more than the other . And then I literally feel , lori , like I was just buying stuff to buy stuff and I know that's privileged right , that I am able to afford to do that but it felt wasteful , it felt excessive and it was overwhelming because it was just more stuff to keep track of . I'm trying to clean out my house and have less stuff Like I just I'm constantly feeling overwhelmed by stuff .
Speaker 2That's exactly what my big kids said to me too . They said we would rather have these eight items from whatever store than random little fillers . Yes , yes . So I'm trying to be respectful of that and I'm going to remind them . When they say , okay , but I only have eight presents , well , that's because that's what you said you wanted , but yeah , that's a bad habit . So I'm actually trying the online shopping because I think it'll keep me from doing the fillers .
Speaker 1That's smart . Like PJ , maxx is the downfall of any mother this time of year , especially waiting in line , and then they have like all the candles and the fuzzy socks and the lip bombs and all the things . And then you're like , oh , let me get this . Well , if I get this for this kid , then I got to get this for that kid Exactly .
Speaker 2And then my husband has nothing and yeah , and when you just mentioned the stocking , so you're stocking full . Have you seen the new TikTok where everyone is like they show all the family stockings the dogs , the mom , the kids , and the mom's stocking is empty . Oh no , I have like a quarter of a stocking , okay , so nothing is ever in my stock . Oh my God , lori , that's so sad , I know and I mean , but my husband and I we sometimes exchange a gift , sometimes not , but literally , and now I have grown adults , so adults , if you're listening , I expect some stuff in my stocking .
Speaker 1I think I might have one of your kids text phone number I might have to send to text Hell . Yeah , I mean , each of your six kids got one item , uh-huh , you know , a $5 item . You'd have some stuff and they could think of things you would enjoy , I know .
I feel like , after 20 plus years of running this game , it's time . It's time to pay back to the mother , amen , sister .
Speaker 1So I will say what's working for me and then I want to hear from you . Here's what's working for me this year . I feel like I this started to come into my awareness last year and I'm well , probably the last few years , and I'm doing it even more this year , having time with the people that I care about , having experiences . So my husband , mars , and I did wreaths . We made wreaths at Flanders Nature Center , not Parkour . We did that two years in a row , two years , yeah , I think two years . So this year we're gonna go to a board and brush where you can like make .
Speaker 2Oh , okay .
Speaker 1Like kind of woodcraft things . I think that will be fun . My friend T'Nat and I friend of the pod she's been on before she and I typically exchange gifts but we really don't get to see each other as much as we would like . So tonight we are going to the pottery factory and making these butt ugly nutcracker paintings . Now the paintings aren't so cute , but it was a time network for both of us and I feel like it's the experience . We'll have three hours . It's like a sip and paint . We don't drink , so we're getting kombucha's . She's picking them up . I can't wait , it's gonna be fun .
Speaker 1My friend Michelle and I were like we're not gonna exchange gifts but we're gonna go out to lunch or actually now change to dinner . So we're going to dinner next week . So like I'm trying to do more experiences , I was thinking of taking my son to maybe pottery factory just on an afternoon of like pick something out , because he enjoys things like that . So I mean he's 18 . We'll see if he cooperates . He might . He has done that a few times with me and liked it . But I will look to figure something out . And my daughter yeah , lena and I are always doing stuff .
Speaker 2We did already pottery after Thanksgiving and I have a whole . I've tried to do that now , like to enhance the season . So we have a whole week of power Christmas in Hanukkah . We're gonna have Hanukkah dinner when my son gets home from school and then we're doing like we're doing ceramic gingerbread houses . I bought them at Walmart for everyone to pay , fun , yeah . And then we're gonna try those . They're like the jewel beads that . Have you seen them ? You do art like diamond paintings , except these make Christmas coasters .
Speaker 1So interesting . Oh , you'll have to share that , lori . That sounds fun .
Speaker 2Yeah , and then one day I decided , like the kids , like those glass , they're like Starbucks cups , they drink matcha , and then we're gonna do an Italian soda bar and watch Santa . So we have activities and little gifts . Oh , that's nice Kind of stuff that go with it .
Speaker 1Yes , yes yes , yes , that gives us more family time . And now , have you already like scheduled this on the calendar ? Does everyone know when it is ? Oh my gosh , lori , I love that . So I think that's key . And , as you're saying that I'm gonna , I have on my to-do list to like schedule with Aiman and Mars , cause we haven't put it on yet . Yeah , I'm gonna do that this weekend where I schedule it , because otherwise it's gonna get more hectic and time's gonna pass . We won't do it , it is .
Speaker 2Yeah , you have to . And then somebody had a work conflict and something else , and then I was invited to something for me with other adult women . So I thought I'm going to bomb one of these family activities and take a moment to do something for myself . Oh , lori , good for you , you deserve that . Yeah , I think that , yeah , but then everyone knows , if they can make it , they can make it , and I tried to make it fit everyone's schedule , which is hard and probably just getting increasingly harder , as your kids get older .
Speaker 1But I love that . Yes , and my friend Vanessa and I last year also , she's been on the pod . She and I went to see a musical that's local by a director that when she and I were theater majors undergrad , was a director that directed us in some shows . It was so fun . It was funny . He's got another one this year , and so she and I are going next week , so I'm looking forward to that . Yeah , doing the things . That's what gives me enjoyment , more than going around and just continuously shopping for the perfect gifts .
Speaker 2It's true , and that's the stuff they remember , because , as I'm sitting here thinking about the gingerbread , it's a ceramic gingerbread house and we're going to paint it and make our Santa cookies . Now , when I envision that in my mind , it's an idyllic , peaceful , loving environment .
Speaker 2That is absolutely not what is going to happen . People will be fighting , someone will spill their paint . The reality probably someone will break their house . So it will be . Someone will cry . Yes , it'll be a stressful situation , but I think and I hope that when they get older and they look back , they don't really remember that they were yelling in the paint . They remember oh we did gingerbread houses where I might lose a few years of my life with the stress of it .
Speaker 1But it's 100% . Yeah , I was just thinking as long as it's not you crying , it's a win . The very well could be Right , and I think that definitely was some of our takeaway from last year that has stayed with me this year , laurie , which is we can't aim for perfection . When we aim for perfection , we set ourselves up for disappointment If , instead , we say I'm going to do this with a loving heart , in the hopes that this is fun , and accept that it will be whatever it is and that's OK , it's true .
Speaker 2We are happier . Yeah , they fight , and that's the way it is . Yeah , because they're siblings . Yeah , and things are very expensive now . So I think too for families . We did do pottery painting , which was crazy after all . Well , there were seven of us did pottery . After paying the fees and doing the pottery , oh my god , laurie , hundreds of dollars , yeah , yeah . And so I literally found the gingerbread . They're huge too . At Walmart they were $3.50 . So , like pay at home , oh my gosh .
Speaker 1So and you can spray Genius .
Speaker 2Yeah , and we're , you know , do the free things that are like offered at the mall , or the lights Stuff , hock , soco .
Speaker 1Good , oh , my gosh , lori Beautiful . There are so many community events that are either no cost or low cost , where you can again be with the people that you care about .
Speaker 1Yeah , like our tickets for this show were like $30 a piece . Like okay , if you've got a big family , that will cost you , but to go out with a girlfriend and I'm spending $30 , you know , I know that's not for everyone . I don't want to be insensitive , but that I can do and I will look forward to it . So you're making me think . Too many towns have tours like they have on their town Facebook page . I know our town does light tours that you can go on my family and I have done that in the past where we make hot chocolate and put it in our travel mugs or you could buy hot chocolate and just drive around one night and look at the lights . Exactly , Low cost fun . Yep , it's together time .
Speaker 2Yeah , even those cam . The new thing I started doing was the canvases , the paint , like the paint and sip kind of places , because to take eight people to do that or significant others were in the hundreds . Yeah , you can buy a pack of canvases on sale at Michael's or Hobby Lobby , and there are plenty of tutorials online that teach you Just how to do it .
Speaker 1I had no idea . Oh my gosh , Lori . Yeah , they're great .
Speaker 2So we've done a bunch of those oh my gosh , that's so cool .
Speaker 1All right , so I will be asking you to point me in the direction of that too . I'll provide that in the show notes as well . We've got lots of good stuff in our show notes we do so tell me this , my friend oh my gosh , I'm having a middle-aged moment .
Speaker 2I forgot what I was going to ask you . I was in my mind thinking oh God , what is she going to ask me now ?
Speaker 1Oh Lord , this is what happens when you're middle-aged ? Yes , I have no idea , but it's just struggle . Yes , it's terrifying . Terrifying , lori , are you done with your decorating ? Yes , I did finish decorating . Yeah , so that that much is done , my .
Speaker 2Hanukkah's done .
Speaker 1It's all good , the tree is up , awesome , yeah , yeah . And you know what it's okay
. I think you know what I'm aware of more than ever . It's my internal pressure that I put on myself that , more than anything else , can rob me of having joy at times .
Speaker 2Oh , I'm glad we're doing this , because I've been yelling at people well I can't anyone help me ? You know the traditional mother at Christmas Do I do everything . Why am I doing that ? So do they care ? No , I'm not sure they care . If there's 42 points at us around the den Like let's just let it go , I might just take my boots back out . I'm going to take this stuff , I write and whatever .
Speaker 1Yeah , I love that , lori . So I guess , what is there any takeaway that you have this year ? That's maybe like a new aha moment for how you will proceed with your making everything , mary .
Speaker 2I mean , I know , I think the middle-aged thing is real .
Speaker 1I'm hired , yeah it's still the time to come back to me . You know what I mean .
Speaker 2Like it's , there's a lot . It's so funny because when your kids are little and you have these babies and you have to feed them and , you know , wash them and do all the things , I feel like it's physically exhausting and your body is a little bit better off now . My body's broken and they are emotionally draining . You know , we have four kids in college . Everyone's end of the semester , the finals . Can you read this paper ? Help me over here . All their stuff . I'm mentally exhausted .
Speaker 1You have four kids in college , but only one is away .
Speaker 2Yes , Well , two , two live in the dorms .
Speaker 1Oh gosh , I forgot Lily was in the dorm . Right , okay , right , right , right . So just to paint the picture for listeners , so they don't think that everyone's just texting you , you still have four out of six at home , and now Lily's returning , zachary's returning , lainey's doing college but living at home .
Speaker 2Yes , well , she's going for a PhD , yeah , yeah , so , and Zach graduates with his master's in a few weeks . Oh , my goodness . Yeah , it's just . You know , he's all stressed out , he's going to start a new career and move across the country , so that's . There's a lot of stuff , so you have to . Just I don't know . I need to remember that that there's a lot of mentally exhausting things happening , and just let it go .
Speaker 1I love that , lori . And as you're talking about , yeah , things change from when there are babies and toddlers and then children and teenagers and young adults . Things change and maybe we need to give ourselves the grace and permission to change too , because it doesn't get easier , it's just different ?
Speaker 2Absolutely . Maybe we give permission to use the gift bags .
Speaker 1Girl . I cannot wait to see how this pans out .
Speaker 2Oh , I know , it keeps me up at night .
Speaker 1Because I don't believe you are giving yourself permission to do the gift bags . But you know , maybe I don't know . How does this feel ? Would you want to let go of something else ? Maybe that's not it , but would letting go of something else be freeing ?
Speaker 2Well , sure , but I'm not going to do that . Okay , I know , you know where I am .
Speaker 1Like there's nothing else . You would like to stop doing , like if you could get rid of something else I don't know does anything come to mind . No , oh my God , are we concluding like last year ?
Speaker 2Yeah , pretty much I'm in the same situation .
Speaker 1No , I mean the only thing I think .
Speaker 2I think the little one has like a you have to bring cookies to decorate and I honestly am like oh , I'm going to go buy a tub of cookies somewhere . Oh yeah , get the 10 . When eight year olds are sitting there with a jug of frosting and sprinkles , do they really care that the cookie was homemade and shaped like a bell or an angel ? No , I'm going to slap it on and eat it or lick it and throw it in the garbage 100% true .
Speaker 2All right , so look at that you are letting go of something girl . That and the kit . I'm doing things that are right , right , right . More like that stuff .
Speaker 1Okay , right , lori , I'm going to give you a big credit for that , absolutely , because sometimes I know for me and , I think , many other people , we feel like we have to bake it from scratch , we have to do it where we are coming up with the ideas , like , like we work ourselves harder so that is huge , and I think that's the key , right , your kids , they want you , they want you to read the book or play the dreidel .
Speaker 2Yeah , you want your time . So if you can buy the cookies at this point , we're going to be at chips ahoy and slap the frosting on .
Speaker 1Like I know I was thinking , peppered from gingerbread .
Speaker 2Right , they're pretty sturdy . I mean it's just . But yeah , like , spend the time , do the thing . I have to remind myself . I need to write it down .
Speaker 1I love it , maybe that's the title of this episode Spend the time , do the thing . I think that's a beautiful place to wrap up . Lori , I agree , that's it . I could talk to you for 10 hours more , and God knows , I probably will today , but for our listeners they might have other things to get to .
Speaker 2Really .
Speaker 1Oh my gosh , lori . So , yeah , spend the time , do the thing . I encourage listeners to check in with themselves and see what is it you need . Is there something you do want to let go of , or is there something that maybe you really spend a lot of work doing , but it serves you in some way and you can just give yourself permission to do that thing . That's it Awesome . Oh , thank you so much for being on the show , lori . Thanks for having me . Good luck with your wrapping , good luck with all of your things and , yeah , you too .
Speaker 1We'll connect on the Facebook page , so I hope listeners will join us there . I know , I know what it was . It came back to me . I wanted to ask you if you would put pictures of your houses on the Facebook page when you make them . Oh , yeah , yeah , because that sounds so fun . Anything you want to share , and this is a good opportunity to tell listeners too . That page is not just for me , that is so super polite , but you all can post , share things . You don't have to wait for me and just comment , but I hope that listeners will use it to share of themselves and their lives too . Sounds good , awesome , friend . Good luck , ho ho , ho , yeah , happy Hanukkah , merry Christmas , and I'll talk to you soon . All right , bye , bye .
Speaker 1I hope you enjoyed that interview with Lori as much as I did connecting with her .
I am wishing each and every one of you the happiest of holidays , whether you are celebrating Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or another holiday , and wishing each and every one of you a very happy and healthy new year . I'd love to connect with you and I will keep that conversation going in between episodes over on Facebook . If you'd like to connect with me and other Zen friends , we would love to welcome you . Just go to groups on Facebook and search your Zen friend . I will put out one last guided meditation this year , what I like to call a drop of Zen . That will come out this Friday and then , as a reminder , I will be taking next week off , but I promise to return on Tuesday , january 2nd , with a new full length episode . Until then , friend , I hope you'll take some time today and every day to do something kind for yourself . Happy holidays everyone .