Do you often make New Year's resolutions, goals or intentions that you don't keep? If so, then today's episode will help you to make goals that you will achieve. I'll tell you about some goals I was successful in keeping in 2023, and I'll keep it real and tell you about some goals that I was not so successful in keeping. I will also give you three strategies to help you achieve the goals you are creating for yourself, whether they are New Year's resolutions or goals that you set at any time of the year. This episode will give you tips to more easily celebrate success. Welcome to your Zen friend. I'm your host, lauren Wolfe. On this podcast, I will share wisdom from working as a licensed professional counselor for more than 20 years. Using storytelling and lighthearted humor, each episode will explore themes on personal growth, including tips and strategies to boost mental wellness and overall well-being. If you're a perfectly imperfect human like me, who's always striving to do better and feel better, then this podcast is for you. Let's get started. Welcome, zen friend. I hope, wherever you are, you are doing well and I hope that you are off to a great start to this new year. If you're listening as this episode airs, newly into January 2024. As I'm recording. It's just a couple of days into the new year and I'm off to an overall good start, with just a few minor annoyances. I spilled chamomile tea on my laptop last night, so unsurprisingly, it would not start this morning. Unfortunately, that is what I use to record the podcast on. Luckily, I was able to dig out an old laptop and download software onto it, and so far, so good. I'm very much hoping that this sounds as good as usual. So time will tell. But I'm also hoping that letting my laptop rest for a little while maybe dry out some more, that it might miraculously start up again. I don't know, have any of you done this? I think this is a pretty common occurrence, although it's a first for me. So, yes, I will be a whole lot more careful in the future. I also locked myself out of my office today, so that was fun, and then one of the blinds fell down off one of the windows in my office. So just minor annoyances, but otherwise, yeah, absolutely not. Okay, mock on Wood, all is well and I'm excited to be starting a brand new year.
Speaker 1In preparation for today's episode, I listened back to last year's episode. That was episode number 14. It was titled Reflecting on the Past and Setting Intentions for the Future. I'll have a link in the show notes. Okay, first of all, I'm even more grateful than ever for Susan, our amazing editor, who makes this podcast sound so great, because that episode was recorded back when I was doing all of the editing and it was not so seamless. So big shout out to Susan.
Speaker 1Listening back to, the intentions that I set last year were pretty funny. Here is the first reason why I had a laugh. I talked about my Tupperware situation. I was using the term Tupperware loosely to talk about the plastic containers that I used to put leftover food etc In. For the past oh gosh, too many years, like forever I've had my Tupperware in a small pantry that we also use for food, and they were the Tupperware was in like plastic bins. It was like two separate plastic drawers that pulled out and right underneath them was recycling, like a big plastic hamper with a clear plastic bag for recycling. Now, often the Tupperware would not fit in those drawers, so it would be balanced on top of those drawers, which would inevitably mean it would fall into our recycling bin, never to be seen again. So we had very few tops and bottoms that actually matched and fit. And in last year's episode I say the definition of insanity is often said to be when we do the same thing and expect a different result. So I compared to that definition to my Tupperware situation and said I have a plan for the Tupperware, I have a date for when I'm going to organize it. I'm going to be doing this soon. So here's what happened. I did in fact yes, applause, I'll take a bow. I did, in fact, conquer the Tupperware through a lot of the plastic out, actually put it in recycling intentionally this time and moved to some glass containers, moved the location. When did I do this? I did this on December 30th yes, merely days ago. So it took me nearly an entire year to accomplish this, but I did it. So yay for that, patting myself on the back for that one.
Speaker 1One thing that I know for sure is that when it comes to being successful, making and keeping a New Year's resolution, a new intention or a new habit, is that the more specific the goal is, the more likely you are to achieve that goal. For example, if you were to say I'm going to eat more healthfully this year, or I'm going to exercise more, or I'm not going to stay up late as much. Those goals are a bit too vague. How will you know when you've reached those goals? So the more specific we get, the more helpful it is to being successful with those goals.
Speaker 1Now, even though I know this is true, I was not completely successful with my goals for last year. I'm going to give myself a gold star for the Tupperware, even though it took me nearly 12 months. But there was another goal that I set that I did not keep, and I was specific. So that was not the problem. I'll share what the problem was. Also, I did make some other goals that I think were actually too vague. So sometimes we know the answer. It doesn't mean we are always successful in orchestrating our plan, even though we know how to.
Speaker 1But this year, you guys, I'm feeling it this year. This year is my year. I know what strategies I'm using. I know what got in my way last year, so I am excited to share with you how I'm going to meet my goals this year and what they are. So let's take a short break and when we get back I'll tell you why I'm confident that this year will be different, that I will be successful in keeping the goals and intentions that I'm setting and how you can use the strategies I'm implementing to be successful in creating your own intentions or new habits any time of the year.
Speaker 1Hey there, zen friend, I so appreciate you listening to this podcast and if I could ask two favors of you, please if you would take a moment to rate and review this podcast on either Apple or Spotify. That helps other Zen friends to find us and that will help me to grow the show and bring on fabulous guests. If you could also share it with a friend, that is another really effective way of helping the show to grow. It is my mission to help parents to fill their own cup and boost their own mental health and overall well-being, so I very much appreciate your help. Now let's get back to our show.
Speaker 1Welcome back, okay, listening back to last year's podcast that I mentioned episode number 14, I said I was going to meditate every single day for at least five minutes. Okay, this goal, I'm going to give myself points for being specific. Here's where I fell off. You could probably already guess this. It was just too big of a goal. I was unable to meditate every single day. I did start off strong. I started off with 26 consecutive days and then I fell off. Now, I mentioned before being specific. That is, I think, the number one thing you want to start with when you make a goal. All right, number two this strategy often helps me, and this is the strategy of pairing. Pairing is when you take a habit that you already do on a regular basis maybe something like brushing your teeth and you add another habit that you want to be consistent with, either before or after the existing habit. Now, I did, in fairness, try this with my go big or go home meditation of every single day goal, but I see what I did wrong.
Speaker 1So I work out on a really regular basis. That is something that I just have built into my day. I typically go into work all except one day a week. I don't start work until typically 12 o'clock, which gives me plenty of time in the morning to get my act together and work out. So I thought, easy peasy, I will use the strategy of pairing and I will meditate directly after working out. But here's the thing Sometimes I don't start right at nine o'clock, which I really should in order to get the other things done that I need to to get up and out, and I'm often doing work at home emails, phone calls, that sort of thing before I see clients in the office, so I really need to be working out by 9am in order to fit all the other things in.
Speaker 1So some days I was not getting started on time for a number of reasons, and then that meant that meditation would go by the wayside. Other times I just actually forgot I just had trouble remembering that I was working to do the pairing. So, although pairing is a great strategy and has worked for me in the past, it didn't help me make this giant goal of meditating every day last year. And again, I think the biggest problem with this goal was that it was way too big. It was unachievable for me to actually meditate every day. Now I did definitely meditate more than I probably did in 2022. So yay for that. But yeah, I didn't quite meet my goal. But here's how I'm going to tweak this goal for 2024. All right, I'm going to be specific. So let's start there and then I'll tell you how I'm going to pair it differently. But I have a new specific goal that I think I think is more attainable Instead of trying to meditate every single day, I am aiming to meditate for the year.
Speaker 1A total of drumroll, please, 5,000 minutes. Now I can hear my friend Lori saying are you crazy? This probably seems like a bizarro plan, but hear me out. My logic is this if I meditate for 30 minutes three times a week and there's 52 weeks in a year, then that equals 4,680 minutes. Now that's a weird number. So I just rounded up and figured what the heck? Let's go for a full 5,000. I think I can do this. I am keeping track in a Google document. It's January 2nd and I'm 60 minutes in. I got this, you guys. Now I'm also Counting EFT, also known as emotional freedom technique, or tapping.
Speaker 1I'm counting that as meditating. I'm also counting journaling as my meditation time. So I'm using meditation Kind of lightly for really like introspective time to Go deep and connect with myself, just really the practice for me of getting calm and centered and being in quiet in some capacity. Now, in doing this and giving myself permission to use EFT or Journaling, you know, putting pen to paper, that means on days when I just feel really amped up or my head is too cluttered and it's just really hard for me to get absolutely silent, I still have a way of achieving my goal. So I'm feeling good about this. We shall see now.
Speaker 1I also know I've been promising forever to do an episode on EFT and it's benefits and find an opportunity to maybe even have a workshop where I can teach you all how to use it for Self-care. So I absolutely positively promise in 2024 to provide more on EFT, at the very least an episode on how you can use the basics. So you heard it. I made that promise. Cross my heart, kiss my elbow. It's gonna happen. Now here's how I'm gonna pair the meditation. That's gonna be a little bit different, I think. Instead of Doing the meditation after working out, I'm going to do it before working out. I think that's gonna motivate me to make sure that I am Starting that meditation time by 8 30 so I can work out by 9, because working out is something that I've really gotten used to and I just don't have the same energy. I just don't feel as good if I don't do it. I think that I'm going to be so motivated to get my workout in that I'm going to make sure I get the meditation time in.
Speaker 1We'll see, I'll report back. We'll have to do a halfway Through episode in early July and I'll let you know where I'm at, and I'd love to hear from you and hear where you are at. I'd love to hear from you now and hear what intentions were you successful at keeping last year. What intentions are you setting for this year, or Do you reject the idea of doing this at the new year? Do you like to just pick a time that works for you, anytime of the year, and, if so, what habits have you been successful in Forming and keeping lately?
Speaker 1You can reach me by emailing me at yours and friend pod, at Gmail. You can always go ahead and find me on Instagram at yours and friend pod, and, if you haven't already, I'd love for you to join our private Facebook group. That is a really lovely group of people and we have some super fun conversations over there. I'll have a link in the show notes, but you can find that group by just searching in groups for yours and friend. Okay, I am so excited that I also I didn't mention this I have created a motto for myself in 2024, and here's what it is.
Speaker 1If you're on that Facebook group, you have already heard it, but if not, I Will share it with you now. That motto is Less is more in 2024. I'm very excited about this motto. I have shared this motto with my husband. I'm hoping that was a good idea. So this motto for me means that I'm going to be really intentional with the things that I'm keeping in my house, because I am going to give myself a big gold star for clutter clearing in 2023.
Speaker 1I started that. I think I did a pretty good job. I've gained some momentum. I've gotten rid of a good amount of stuff. My daughter is a junior in college, my son is a senior in high school and it's just really time for us to have a house that reflects where we are. With now, really, four adults. I still had some toys and things that we just weren't using anymore. So, bringing the house more up to date with where we are in our lives and really keeping the things that serve us and letting go of the things that don't. I am someone who's really affected by clutter and having a dirty space or I shouldn't say dirty. My house is never really dirty, but having a cluttered space can really make me feel anxious. So clearing out, having more space, is so helpful to me. So if that motto speaks to you, I welcome you to join me. Maybe we can even figure out ways to support one another in clearing clutter and being more intentional with the things that we keep in our homes and certainly with the things that we buy and bring into our homes. So I've shared with you how important it is to get specific with the goals that we make, and I've talked about the strategy of pairing. I'll give you one more strategy before I go.
Speaker 1For many of us, having outer accountability is super helpful in being successful with making and keeping new habits. Some ways this might work include just scheduling what you want to do on the calendar. So I could look at my calendar and, especially on those days that I don't go into work until 12, or maybe on days off, I could write in meditation. For many of us, that's enough If we schedule it in like. For me, I want to do this from 8.30 to 9 o'clock in the morning. For many of us, just writing this on the calendar is enough For me sometimes yes, sometimes no. It's not always enough.
Speaker 1For others of us, we need to get help from someone else, and this can be an accountability partner, so that might mean that it's a friend or a coworker. Typically, either of those people in your lives work better than a partner or spouse or maybe a sibling if you're friends with a brother or sister and this person is someone that you're going to tell. Here's my plan I plan on meditating 5,000 minutes in 2024. That means I really to get and stay on track. I really need to do a minimum of 330-minute sessions a week. So, hey, you and I usually talk on Fridays. I'd love for you to ask me, when we're speaking, how I'm doing, if I'm meeting that goal that I set for myself.
Speaker 1For some of you, you might need a little more than putting it on your calendar, but maybe you don't need as much as an actual accountability partner. For some of you, it might be just putting it out there on social media, making a declaration in a way that is going to hold you accountable to meeting that goal. So, again, I mentioned our Facebook page. That can be a great place if you want to maybe ask for some accountability, if you want us to check in with you, or if you even just wanna say hey, everyone, here's what I'm doing. This year. I know that one of our listeners and Facebook friends posted that she took her Amazon app off her phone. That is so inspirational. Shout out to Karen. Elizabeth, I will definitely be checking in with you to see how that goes.
Speaker 1Super quick recap it can be really helpful to make your goal specific. The strategy of pairing can be super helpful, where you take an existing habit and add the new habit that you're forming, either before or after the existing habit. And then accountability is helpful for many. Whether you're making an announcement on a social media platform or scheduling it on a calendar, or maybe asking a friend or relative to check in with you periodically to see how you're doing. All of those strategies are helpful with being successful in making and keeping new habits.
Speaker 1If you'd like more strategies to help you make and keep new habits, check out the podcast by Gretchen Rubin. It's called Happier with Gretchen Rubin. That's a podcast I've listened to for at least six years or so, and some of the tips and strategies that I shared with you today were taken from Gretchen. So I encourage you to give her a listen and a reminder that a drop of Zen, a short guided meditation, comes out every Friday. So if you've made it your intention to meditate more in 2024, ooh, that also rhymes that will be made a little easier for you. If you follow the show, you get a new guided meditation delivered to your podcast app each Friday. I am grateful for each and every one of you and hope to connect with more of you in this coming year. Until next time, friend, I hope you'll take some time today and every day to do something kind for yourself. Ooh, you're still there. I'm so glad you are, because maybe you've got time for another podcast and I've got just the podcast for you.
Speaker 1My friend, ann Coleman, who is an attorney-turned-parent educator, has a fantastic podcast. It's called Speaking of Teens, and she gets into it. Cuteness, internet porn, vaping, mean girls, lying, emotional meltdown, sneaking out, anxiety, depression, school refusal the list goes on. If you're a parent of a teen or a tween, chances are you've dealt with at least some of those issues. Well, ann has dealt with it too, and she is super candid in talking about her own challenges when she was raising her now young adult son. She tells you what she did and what she wishes she did instead. She also has fantastic guest episodes, so check it out. Ann drops a new episode two times a week and I think you'll love her podcast as much as I do. Go to your podcast app wherever you listen to podcasts and search for Speaking of Teens with Ann Coleman, and I guarantee you'll get some great research-based tips and strategies that will make parenting at least a little bit easier.