Welcome , zenfriend . I'm glad you've joined me for this drop of Zen , a short guided meditation designed to help you drop in and feel more calm and grounded . I'm this week's full length episode of your ZenFriend . I spoke with my daughter , lena , aka Queen Leans , and we talked all about how parents can get their kids to talk to them and keep them talking and sharing with them . I know that some parents shared with me that they are having a real challenge with this and I know this comes up time and time again in my counseling practice where I work with kids , teens and families .
Speaker 1It's not always easy to stay connected to those we love , especially teenagers . So this episode is going to focus on how you can start out to just love and honor yourself wherever you are and then open to change and connection . So let's begin by finding a comfortable spot to sit or lie down in . If you're driving , please pause the podcast and come back to it later . You can either just have a nice soft gaze downward or begin by closing your eyes . I just will ask you to think of someone in your life who you are maybe feeling irritated with or feeling disconnected from , or maybe you have some fear or worry for them and just bring that one person to mind and then notice what are the feelings that you have about your feelings towards this person . So , for instance , as a parent who might be feeling irritated or annoyed with a child , we can then sometimes feel bad about feeling that way . We can tell ourselves we shouldn't feel that way . So just notice . Are you having any thoughts or feelings about how you are currently feeling towards this person ? And just notice what they are , with no judgment . Just simply notice what comes up . And now I'd love for you to offer yourself some love and compassion and kindness for wherever you are and for whatever it is that you are feeling right now . So , instead of saying I should feel differently , just say something to yourself like I get how you're feeling . It's okay to feel this way . Other people feel this way . You're not the only one . It doesn't mean it will be this way forever and it's okay . And just stay there with loving thoughts for yourself . Maybe this is challenging . If it is , that's okay . Just do your best . Imagine what you might say to a small child to offer them encouragement and validation . It's okay to feel however you feel .
Speaker 1And now ask yourself is there any fear that I'm feeling . It's often easy to feel angry or irritated , and it's a lot harder to feel worry or fear . So ask yourself is there something I'm afraid of ? If you're feeling irritated with a teenager , are you afraid that you'll never like them ? Are you afraid that they're making bad choices that maybe are risky and they're not talking to you and they're in danger ? Maybe something else ? Just notice what comes up for you , not having to try to think about it too hard , but just ask am I feeling any fear ? And just notice what comes up for you . And then , once again , just accepting whatever comes up , offering yourself some love and compassion . It's okay to feel this way . You're not doing anything wrong . It's hard to feel worried or afraid and it's also a really normal emotion .
Speaker 1And then ask yourself is there something that I am doing or bringing to this situation , this relationship with this person , that could be different ? Is there something that I'm doing that is just keeping us disconnected ? And , if so , what could I do differently ? And again , just listening for that answer , not having to try to figure it out , but simply listening . And if the answer is yes and it usually is again , can you give yourself some love and compassion ? We're all doing our best . None of us are perfect . We typically don't learn how to have good , healthy relationships . We don't typically take classes on parenting , and even if we do , we're still not going to do this perfectly .
One last question for yourself , just asking yourself what's one thing I can do differently this week . What feels like a starting point to work towards having a stronger , more loving connection with this person ? It doesn't need to be big . Maybe it's simply not trying to correct them as much . Maybe it's giving some compliments , some praise or some encouragement , something like I really appreciate how you always put your dishes in the dishwasher , or I notice how you've been really kind to your sibling lately , or maybe it's .
Speaker 1I see how hard you're working at school . I know midterms are challenging . You've got this . Maybe something else . So , noticing that one thing you can do this week , and then one last time , can you offer yourself some love and compassion , remembering that we're all perfectly imperfect , staying here for as long as you would like and , if you're ready , to end this meditation just softly and gently , allowing your eyes to flutter open with a gentle , soft gaze ? I'm so glad you joined me here today and until next time , friend , I hope you'll continue to take some time , today and every day , to do something kind for yourself .