Conquer Moments of Self-Sabotage and Never Miss Another Opportunity

Hey Ladies! In today's video, you will learn how to conquer and overcome moments you are self-sabotaging yourself so that you no longer miss out on opportunities you are supposed to seize!

This video answers these questions: What does self-sabotage look like and how do I overcome it?, Why do I keep sabotaging my success?, How can I stop holding myself back? How do I stop missing opportunities in life? How do I recognize when I’m self-sabotaging? Why do I keep playing small when I want more? How do I stop talking myself out of opportunities? How can I trust myself to show up fully?

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Transcript

squadcaster-27i5_1_04-10-2025_115925: 0:05

Hey guys. Welcome back to another video. Today we are going to be talking about something that I just recently experienced and I thought that I needed to bring it to you guys immediately. So this is about missed opportunities because of moments of self sabotage. And so end this episode. End this video. I am going to go over how you can conquer those moments of self-sabotage so that you don't miss out on juicy opportunities. And also you possibly delaying your achieving of your goal, right? Because you are having moments of self sabotage. So like I said, this was inspired by recent events. what I also wanna do is show you guys that I am living. By example, I am practicing what I preach. So currently one of my dream goals, that is a more personal dream goal versus my business dream goal with YouTube and my business. My personal dream goal of mine, if you've been, you know, following me for a little while. You know, that I've wanted to teach dance classes and also that I was going to start a dance business, but I failed in that dance business. So. Right now I am in the middle of pursuing, achieving a dream goal of being a dance class instructor. And so one of the things that I started doing recently is getting people to sign up for my dance classes. Well, to sign up for the wait list as I continue to build my email list, right? And so in order for me to successfully build my email list, some of the ways that I have been going about it is something completely new to me. It is something that is completely at my comfort zone, and that is me getting flyers that is me approaching people and saying, Hey. Do you like to dance? Would you like to you know, would you like to take classes? So to get people signed up for it? It has been completely nerve wracking. However, I wanna share these stories with you. These are the first two stories of when I actually did this. So, first story is that I was at a car shop and it was a girl who was, the girl who was ringing me up, helping me out with my car stuff and, and when it was time to leave in my mind I was like, okay, maybe I should ask her if she wants to join a dance class. In my mind I'm thinking no, you know, she had a little bit of an attitude or she doesn't really look like she would like to dance or look like a dancer. And so I was slowly talking myself out of it, out of asking her, and I said, you know what? Maybe next time. but then I ended up asking her anyways, and I'm gonna dig more into that in a few. Now the second thing that happened was when I was at the gym, and it was these two girls who were there. They came in while I was working out and I was getting ready to leave and I was thinking like, Hmm, should I ask them? Like I had that intuition and then again, I started talking myself out of it. I started thinking, oh, well they look kind of young. Or, you know, they're in the middle of working out, they're busy. I shouldn't like, interrupt them and stop them, like, are they gonna even wanna be interested? And so all of these things was in my mind, but then I did it anyways. I did it anyways. I still approached'em. I still asked them. And guess what they said? Yes. Just like the girl in the car shop, she also said yes and also signed up. And so my mind was blown because I realized that if I would've. Walked away because I was talking myself out of those moments. Then I would've missed opportunities to have these people sign up for my classes and I could continue saying next time, and it made me realize how it is so easy. It is so easy for us, right? It's so easy for us to get in our head and talk ourselves. Out of, you know, asking for something out of doing something that we know is going to help us, that we know that is going to excel us, that can help propel us in our, you know, achieving our dream goal. We know what we should do, but we talk ourselves out of it so easily, right? So these are little moments of self-sabotage. These are just taken examples from these two stories with these two situations with two different groups of people. I'm gonna show you what exactly we do that. Makes us self-sabotage yourself. So number one is that we assume, we assume, we assume. Now, I had an old mentor of mine and I remember him specifically saying, assumption is a mother of all Fs, right? All F-F-U-C-K. And so I remember him saying that, but I didn't understand it. Until now. When you make assumptions when you just assume something without actually getting the answer, you are effing yourself over, right? You are missing out on special moments. You are missing out on opportunities because you just made an assumption. I assume that that first girl who wouldn't be interested in taking dance classes, I assume that, you know, because the two girls who were working out that, you know, they were too busy to talk to me, I assume that I assumed that they were too young and instead, in fact, when I asked them, they said, oh, I'm 25, I'm 19. I'm like, oh my gosh, I could have easily walked out because I thought maybe they were 16, 15, and that's a missed opportunity for me. The second thing that we do is we make excuses. We make excuses so much, such as next time, right? Right now is not the right time, right now is not perfect. It's not the perfect moment, We have all these excuses that come up when there's a moment, when there's an opportunity that we need to grab, right? So me seeing, oh, next time, you know, next time when I come back to the shop, or even thinking next time when I go to the gym, who knew next time if I would've seen these girls right next time. There won't be no next time cute, whatever song that was in. But, I apologize even though I know it's lies. I don't even know what song that is. But anyways, I'm back on track. So there will always be a next time to speak to that one person right. There won't always be a next time to, to ask or to do something in that very moment. And so we make those excuses of it is not the perfect time. I don't have everything together. So we missed those opportunities. I actually didn't have my flyers ready. I just had a. A picture on my phone and I was thinking like, oh, I don't have the flyers. No girl, just walk up to them and just scan the QR code and listen. If they sign up, they do. If they don't, they don't. Right. And so I. There are so many missed opportunities because of making assumptions and also just having these simple excuses. And of course, like that bottom line really comes to, you know, that fear, right? The fear of being rejected, the fear of, you know, being judged. Did those things come inside of me? Yes. My heart, literally, my heart was racing. My hands were sweaty when I was asking him, but I talked myself back into it, and I'm gonna go over how I was able to talk myself back into it. How did I talk myself back into asking these women, Hey, would you like to dance? Would you like to sign up for my dance class? Wait list? How did I talk myself back into the moment and conquer that moment of self sabotage? One of the ways I went over this in a previous video of becoming a woman who wonders because she is unstoppable. And guys, I mean it, I practice what I preach and I just wanna prove it to you. So. In that moment, in that, in those moments, right. What I was thinking, and there's more stories that I can share, but I just wanna stick with these two. In those moments, it was like one, what's the worst that can happen? They say no, right? Maybe my, my ego may be a little crushed. Maybe I get a little embarrassed or whatever. My hands were sweating, right? But I didn't die, right? So what's the worst that can happen is that they say no and they don't sign up. Okay? Onto the next, Number two was the what if, right? This is still part of a woman who wonders. So the what if? Well, instead of me thinking like, oh my gosh, what if they don't sign up? You know, I was thinking, you know what? What if they actually are excited when I introduce, when I come over to them and I show them what if they're excited, and that's exactly what happened. the third one of wondering is the why not me. This is exactly what I thought in those moments, right? I thought, what's the worst that could happen? Literally, what if they say yes? What if they get excited and why? Not me? Right? No, I know that I'm not a professional dancer. I know I'm not an expert, but why not me still, like I can still. Know, I still know something. I trained for two years, so why not me bring this to this small town that I live in now that don't even have these classes? Why not me be the one to bring these classes and teach it? Why not me live out? That little girl dream goal that I've had for so many years? Why not me? And that helped me conquer those moments of self-sabotage, about to self-sabotage, because I almost did. I almost walked away. And so the second thing that helped me, again, this comes from my. My latest video, the last one, if you ladies wanna go back and watch it, I recommend it. And it was this video was how to achieve anything that you want to achieve or become a woman who achieves anything she wants, right? I use the same principles that I use when I achieve some of my dream goals in the past. So in that moment of thinking, oh, my heart racing, I promise myself that I'm all And to me all in is me deciding, deciding to bet on myself, deciding that I'm not walking away deciding that, you know. I'm all in pretty much that I'm gonna conquer this fear that I am going to lead by example all in. To me, that's what all in represented for me in that moment. So in that moment I said, you know what? I'm gonna do it anyways. I'm scared, but I'm going to do it anyways. Because I made a promise to myself that this is the goal. This is a dream goal that I wanna achieve, and I need to make that little girl proud. I need to live this out because. I, I, I don't wanna live in regret whatsoever. The other two is I expected to win. I'm expecting to win in pursuing this dream goal, then I need to move accordingly. Because remember I mentioned in the last video that if you expect to lose, you are going to move accordingly. And that's how I failed when starting, when attempting to start my dance business. I failed because I didn't expect to win before, right? I didn't expect to win. So this time. This is not a business. This is just something that I really, really wanna do. I'm expecting to win, so I have to move accordingly. And the other one was in those moments, of course, thinking to myself, that self-image, right? I can do this. I am a person again that why not me? Why not me? I'm a person who can do this. I can ask her, you know, and proven that self-image of I can overcome if someone says no, right? Because I'm an overcomer. And so, those are the two things that helped me overcome those moments of self-sabotage because it was truly self-sabotage. It was so scary. That's why I say, you know, dream goals. That's why I'm not a goal achievement coach. I'm a dream goal achievement coach because to me, dream goals is gonna be something that. Scares you. It's gonna be something that you know, pulls another version of yourself out of you. You're gonna have to shift identities. You're gonna have to be courageous. You're gonna have to do different things. You are going to have to become another person, right? You're gonna have to think more highly. Of yourself if you want to achieve dream goals. If it doesn't scare you, then you are not dreaming big enough. And so now that I went over that, I'm going to go over how to recognize those moments that you are self-sabotaging because once you become aware of something. Then you'll be able to change it right then. You'll be able to conquer it when is happening and do differently if you decide to. Right? So how I'm able to notice those moments of self-sabotage, hear me out. Is that you receive, you receive an inkling, a guide, a intuition that is telling you to do something, to ask this person something, to compliment this person to, you know, take a specific action, right? You receive a inkling in that moment, and when you receive that inkling, that means it's supposed to happen. That means that you should. Do it right? Because if you didn't receive that inkling, then it's just not the time. Then you probably shouldn't do it. However, in that moment, you start talking yourself. Out of it. You start thinking of all the reasons of why you shouldn't ask somebody something or you shouldn't compliment or you shouldn't do a certain activity, whatever it is, as it pertains to your dream goal, right? You talk yourself out of it. You are thinking. All the excuses in the world, like, ugh, it's not the perfect time. Ugh, I'm not ready. Look how I look. Or, you know, oh, they don't look like they, they'll be interested. Right. Making those assumptions. This is what's happening. Your brain is trying to keep you safe, ladies. Your brain is trying to keep you safe. Your brain is like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're about to get attacked. It is trying to protect you. And so. When you get an inkling, but then immediately you start thinking of all the reasons of why you shouldn't do this. That is how you recognize you are self-sabotaging and realize, I want you to realize that your brain is literally just trying to keep you safe. None of those things are true. None of those things are accurate. Whatever your brain is feeding back to you, right? It is feeding you. It is telling you danger. Danger, danger. Danger is because you're stepping out of your comfort zone. It's something that is scary to you. Of course, your mind is gonna be thinking danger, right? Because it's something scary. It's something uncomfortable. But recognize that moment I. Especially if you get that intuition this is an opportunity that is presenting itself to you, that is for you because you got it. You got that guidance, so it's for you. So just do it. And always your intuition will always be your best guide. It will always be your best guide. This is why I talk a lot about moving from your body. What I mean about your body is moving from that excitement, moving from that intuition, that desire, that feeling that you're, that you get when you're like, oh my gosh, I wanna ask, oh my gosh. I wanna compliment those feelings that you get inside. Especially to take action like, oh my gosh, like I really wanna start this business, or I want to pursue this dream goal. Whatever it is, you feel it is working something in you. You can't, can't stop thinking about it and you wanna do it. It getting you hot, it's getting you heavy. It is getting you all of these feelings, right? But then the logic comes in. The logic is good, right? Is good for planning, it's good for structure. It is good for creating, it's good for all of those things. However. A lot of times the, when you decide to move with the logic, you tend to stay in overthinking. You tend to procrastinate because you're thinking too much. You're. Exiting movement from your body, your intuition, your gut, that is gonna lead you down a path of your greatest, you know, creativity or your greatest invention or whatever it is that you wanna do, right? But when you're stuck in your mind, it is going to slow you down. It's not a bad thing, but in certain moments it's best to move with your body. And so moments like this, moments of those opportunities that are for you, it is best to move with your body because the logic that brain is going to danger, danger, danger is going to try to scare you and slow you down. And so, a lesson that I want you to get from this, especially with becoming aware of the moments that you are self-sabotaging, right? That is very important. Just practice becoming aware of it because when you can become aware, you can conquer, you can do differently the next time. And two things. It is not to say that you won't ever. You won't ever sabotage a moment, you won't ever sabotage an opportunity because sometimes you are going to fall short. Sometimes, that fear is going to overweigh the courage. That happens. Courage comes in waves, it comes in wave. Sometimes you're, you're gonna create that courage to do you know, what your intuition is telling you to do. and sometimes it just may feel even more scary in a moment and you may shut down and, you know, get a little too nervous and pass on that opportunity. Right. And so don't beat yourself up about it. However, it is building something in you, It is building confidence in you. It is building more courage in you. So the more that you practice, the more you're gonna get better at, you know, talking yourself back into. Grabbing onto those opportunities that are for you. All right? So it's not saying you're gonna lose all the confidence you have or you know you're losing courage, confidence and courage. Courage comes in waves. It comes in waves. Sometimes you're gonna must up that courage and sometimes it's gonna be like, Ooh, okay, I'm, next time it happens. But you don't want that to be your default, right? You don't want next time to be your default because you won't ever achieve it. You won't ever grab into opportunities if you always. Say next time, or make an excuse, or just don't do it because you're too scared, right? Build on that courage and you'll begin grabbing onto those opportunities that is going to propel you and. Help you achieve your dream goals even faster than you think can possibly happen because you are moving with courage, right? You are overcoming all of that self-doubt that is in your head. That is in your head. And so the second thing that I want you to get from this is that you may act on the intuition. That intuition of yes, you should ask. Yes, you should compliment, yes, you should do this. Yes, you should stand up. Yes, you should show up. Whatever it is you may get, you may act on it and you may not get the result that you wanna get. It happens. I actually had someone say, no, that's not for me. Right. And guess what it is. Okay. But what I don't again, want you to think is that, oh, my intuition was wrong. No, your intuition is just getting you prepared. Your intuition is just building up that courage muscle, that confidence muscle, because the more you can do something, the more you're gonna be. Okay with it, the more you're gonna be confident in it. And the less fearful you will feel about this specific thing because you've done it so much. So even though I still, I get so nervous when I am asking somebody. Hey, would you like to, do you like to dance? I'm gonna be teaching dance classes, right? I get so nervous, so, so, so nervous. I know that eventually there's gonna be a day where like I'm just like, Hey girl. Right? Do you like to dance? Like it's going to flow so easily. I'm not gonna be nervous whatsoever. One day that is going to happen because you have to continuously conquer a fear for it to no longer be something you fear, right? That's just how things happen. So ladies, this message is for you. My dream goal, achievers goal achieve hers. Ladies, if you are pursuing or if you desire to achieve a dream goal. Stop talking yourself out of these missed opportunities, just getting to the practice of it, because it's going to bring you one step closer, one step closer to having your dream goal in your hand. If you can just conga those moments of self-sabotage, it happens to every body, right? That imposter syndrome, like I don't feel good enough. Like who am I to ask? I'm not the right person, right? I want you to remember, remind yourself of the things that I went over instead of asking, what if this happens in a bad way? Ask what if it happens in a good way. What if they're excited? What if it works out? Right. Being a woman of wonder, what's the worst that can happen and why not me? Right? Conquer those moments with thinking that way, right? Think more highly, just go all in, decide and expect to win so that you can move accordingly. This is gonna help you. To truly conquer those moments of self-sabotage, Because you want this dream goal in Rahan. I know you do. I know the. Feeling of what it feels like to achieve a dream goal, not because of the outcome of the dream goal, right? That's exciting. Not because you, you, you know, you built this business or you achieve this huge dream goal, but it's more so what it does for you. Right. It allows you to see yourself in a completely different light, And why it happens is because, again, it transforms you into a new person. You have to shed identities. You have to conquer limiting beliefs. You have to talk yourself into confidence. You have to push through. You have to be courageous. You have to overcome fear. You have to validate yourself. There are so many things that it does for you that. From personal experience that it has done for me, right? It's to the point where you achieve this dream goal that you know that, oh, like this affects every area of my life right now. I can ask for more money at a job or I am valuable. I have something to offer. I do know that I don't have to settle for less in a relationship. Right? It flows into every area of your life because. It brings something out of you. And so that's why I am so, so, so, I'm so passionate about this because it just did so much for me internally And so if you've been talking yourself out of starting a dream goal, then I wanna invite you to my webinar from. Stuck to Unstoppable where it is going to give you the framework, my blueprint that I use to just finally take action on a goal, on a dream goal to finally take action on a dream goal. And so it is free. If you wanna join, then all you have to do is click the link in the description box and it'll take you to where you can sign up for the next webinar class. All right, ladies, and so that is it for today's episode. And until next time, bye.