Simple Ways to Choose & Activate Joy as an "F" You to Heartbreak, Setbacks and Failure

In today's Confident and Thriving Podcast episode, I share ways to activate JOY as you navigate heartbreak and failure.

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Transcript

squadcaster-ai4j_1_06-10-2026_121415 0:00

Hey, ladies. Welcome to Confident and Thriving Podcast with me, your host, Cleopatra. In today's episode, I'm going to be speaking about using joy as an F-U, as a middle finger, to, heartbreak, to failures, to setbacks. And this is something that I've started practicing. As I shared that I am in overcoming a situation that ended that has left me feeling a little bit sad, and then also, re-energizing myself to pour into this podcast like I want to. And so I'm using joy as AFU to heartbreak. And so in today's video, I'm gonna share some things that you can apply that I've been doing to help you activate joy, to activate that happiness within you as you navigate heartbreak, as you navigate failure, and whatever it is, whatever challenges that you're going through, e-either if it's towards your dream goals or is it, in your relationship, so however. Let's go ahead and get started. Now, before I jumped on, I actually had the idea, the thought to offer Some accountability sessions for you to help you stay accountable towards achieving your dream goals. or towards you keeping your joy activated while you navigate a heartbreak or while you navigate, any situation that you're going through right now, or to help you just stay motivated and stay consistent in the goal that you are working to achieve right now, whether it is a passion project or a business or, a career or whatever it is that you're working to do right now. I'm gonna create it, so by the time this video is posted, then you should have that information below. So let's go ahead and get into the episode. So let's start with joy activation one. So of course, like most of you probably heard of gratitude, right? Gratitude activates joy. Gratitude activates happiness. especially when you are in the middle of heartbreak or when you're in the middle of frustration and setbacks, is really about intentionally just trying to change your frequency. Intentionally shifting your mind from the pain, from the sadness, from the difficulties that you're going through, and transmute it into something that's actually going to give you what you want. because as you may know we're always radiating something, and a lot of times what we radiate, we get back. So if we're like stuck into that, that sadness and we just sit in it, it's gonna continue to radiate more sadness. Like when you think about it, right? If you are, you're going through a heartbreak like, like me, right? I remember there was a time where like in the depths of the breakup, it was like so painful, it was like hard to get out of bed for two months straight. and why that was like that is because I was consistently like, crying, looking at pictures or listening to depressing, sad music, and just being so frustrated, being so annoyed and mad at the world, mad at God, like just mad with my intuition and all of these things, right? And so That kept me in that state of despair. Now what I'm doing is saying, "Okay," like you can hold space for this kind of like sadness. You can hold space for it not feeling good, but you can also hold space for joy because that's what you want the most. That's what you wanna bring back to you the fastest is that joy. And so something that I've been learning about to share with you guys is that we are like addicted to suffering as human beings, right? And so our bodies just naturally can sit in that suffering. We feed it over and over, and so when it comes to joy activation, we have to be intentional about it. So gratitude is one of those ways that you can just like, "Okay, I'm going through this, but thank you so much for this that I have. Thank you so much for..." Thank you so much for my home. Thank you so much that I have this. Thank you so much that if it's heartbreak that I have, family who loves me. Thank you so much that I even met this person, that I attracted this person. That means there's something amazing about me, right? And so using those gratitude activations as a way to just get your mind back into feeling really good about yourself so that you can move out of this and just give it the F-U because the failure, the heartbreak should not have control over us, right? So the second way that I've been activating joy as an F-U to heartbreak, as an F-U to stress and mistakes and setbacks is Typically, I'm a person who really likes crime shows. I love crime shows. I love watching murder mysteries. I love watching just those dark things. It's so much fun. however, as an intentional way to activate joy and just intentionally focus on that, is actually watching happy things. Like comedy movies, comedy sitcoms romance comedy. So for me, like I'm 35, so you may have heard of Martin. Martin's on Netflix. That's one of me and my daughter's like favorite things to watch and laugh at. like going to watch something that's gonna make me laugh is amazing. it activates that joy within you to get your mind off of the funk. To just give your body that energy jolt that it needs. Also, watching, like romance romance comedies, not romantic dramas, right? That's gonna make you sad. But romantic comedies, especially going through heartbreak, right? You would think to move away from like any romance movies. But to me, I think watching a romantic comedy is so much fun because you get to see these people like fall in love. You get to see the happiness, the like happy outcomes, and it's just a reminder of like even though these are movies, it's just a feel-good. It's aw. Maybe you get to have a good cry but it makes you smile. Like I was just watching and I recommend to watch it, is new movie on Netflix with Jennifer Lopez. It's called Office Romance, and it reminds me of like it did remind me of me and my ex- majority of my exes because it's funny because, like I've met most of my exes at work, all of my meaningful relationships have been met at work. Besides like my first love, which was like high school. But this one it was an office romance, but it was a virtual office romance at first and so watching the movie just made me laugh. It was so funny. It was so cute, and it just made me feel happy. Yeah it was like a reminder of dang, like me and my ex didn't work out, but it also brought in happy feelings. So using that as a way to activate, like paying attention to what you're watching is pretty much what I'm saying, right? Because it's still typical of us when we're going through frustrating things is to wanna watch frustrating stuff or just kinda go to our default and watch like depressing stuff, right? Watch those dark movies, watch horror, whatever it is. But using intentionality is using things that's gonna bring laughter, bring joy into your heart in that very moment. so the third thing that I like to do to activate joy, this is kinda-- it's kinda similar to watching movies, but it is people watching. So I know that may sound weird, but I do... Like I, I like to go to a coffee shop to work sometimes and-- or I like sitting at the pool or wherever it is that I'm... where I'm at, and I like to watch people happy. Like when I see like friend groups and they're laughing, like I'm like, "Aww." Like it's so happy. Like it feels good. Or when I see like couples and they're holding hands, like older couples, it's again, it brings a sense of joy. Even in the midst of you going through your own frustrations, your own, like your own heartbreak, right? Your own loneliness or your own setbacks in your business and stuff, right? It's nice. Or let's say, like you're having career issues failures in your business, but like you see these successful like women come into the office or come, I mean come into the oh my gosh, come into the coffee shop or like it just, it's a smile because but it's a smile to me. It brings me joy because here's why. It's a reminder to you that life isn't over yet, and when you get to notice it in other people like the success, the joy, the things that you even want for yourself, is a reminder to you that you're in the you're in the midst of it. You're in the environment of it, and it's also available to you. And so that is just a little, it's like a sense of peace and also like how nice. Like it's cute. So for me, that is one of my ways to activate joy or just to bring a smile to myself in a moment, right? Because throughout the day, again, what we're going through, we have reminders in our mind, right? We think about what we said. We think about the mistakes we made. We think about what we could have did differently. But those glimpses of little things that activates joy as an F-U to heartbreak, as an F-U to failures or whatever. And also to point out is that when you're happy for other people, like I believe that blesses you as well. You become an attraction to what you want when you're happy for other people. And when you're like being like, ew "Ugh." "I'm "why are they so happy?" Or like you're just like not happy to see someone who is happy in success, or even if you're scrolling through social media and maybe you're looking at people who have the things that you want, and if you're like not genuinely happy for them, It actually doesn't attract you to what you want. It actually pulls you away from it, right? because you're not radiating at a level of great attraction. So being happy for others is definitely attracting you to actually what you want, and is reminding you like, "This is also available to me." So joy activation number four. I love this. This is one of my favorite ways to activate joy when maybe I'm feeling down, or I just get this burst of "I wanna do this." So this is dancing and just jumping around. And so in the morning sometimes, not all the time, but I do like to play on like happy music. One of my favorite, my theme songs, and I know I mentioned her already, a lot of people don't like her but... and that's okay. But it is an old J.Lo song and it's called Feeling So Good, and I love that song so much because it's just like reminding me to take care of myself. Like I feel so good because I take care of myself. I'm feeling so good because like I knew that I could, I said I would. So like some of the words that she says in it, I do recommend that song. Even if you don't like her, like that's to me it's just like a dope song to activate that feel-good moment or any other songs that you may relate to, that speaks to you, that brings life to you in the morning that you can dance to and move around to. I also like to listen to Selena when I wanna dance or just anything, Beyoncé, anything when I'm ready to like dance and just activate that, that juiciness, that happiness because also dance is a form of emotional release. So as women, when we're going through things we hold a lot of emotions in our bodies. We have a lot of stored trauma, especially in our womb area. And then we also like in our throat and our arms, like we just store a lot of like emotions in our body. And a lot of times with frustration we don't always express it, right? So you may feel that tightness in your jaw or your jaw. I can say that I'm from New York, I don't know how to say jaw, jaw. I feel like I'm saying like jar, like jars so I feel like that tightness in your jaws. And then also like your throat, you may feel that tightness there. And also like shoulders, right? That carrying the weight on your shoulders. Like the things that we go through, we carry a lot of that like in our bodies. So when we're not expressing it, it gets stored trauma which creates a lot of diseases. If it's not released, it creates a lot of frustration and uneasiness in our bodies, right? And so using dance as a way to activate that joy is amazing because you're releasing that stress, that frustration, and inviting ease back into your body, a body at ease. I just heard like Bob Proctor on watching this movie The Secret saying... And I never thought about it in this way, but the word disease, if you dissect it, it means a body that's not at ease. And so diseases is typically caused by like stress and our body not being at ease. And so we wanna thrive, right? We want health, we want wealth, we want love, we want everything. We wanna achieve our goals, we want radiance, all the juicy yumminess, right? And so being able to release those stored emotions is an amazing way to thrive and just radiate that joy. So dancing jumping up and down, getting in and out of your body, shaking your body, like even the shaking your body is like part of just emotional releasement. But jumping up and down for sure. Also, I wanna say like in the moments where you feel the desire to just be a little crazy. So why I say this, again, I was watching the movie Office Romance, and at the end of the movie I was laughing so hard. The music came on. I just felt the urge to just get up and jump up and down. Just jump up and down and dance like a crazy woman for the sake of it. And it was fun. Or skipping down a hall. Like, when you feel those urges do stupid things, silly things to activate the joy within you. A- again, as an F you to heartbreak, as an F you to failure, a step back, to let it know that you cannot control my life. You can't control my happiness, right? And yes, I'm overcoming you, but I'm reaching for joy mostly. Okay, so joy activation number five that I like to do is just simply practicing self-love, doing things for myself, these self-love activities. And self-love looks different in multiple ways. Sometimes it's just really joyful to get dressed up just because. I love getting dressed, I love putting on makeup. I love doing my hair. That brings me some joy right in the midst of whatever. Sometimes it's just joyful to go take yourself out to eat, to read a book, to lay out by a pool, or go to the beach. Those little things that can give you joy. Shopping, like doing things that who cares about feeling guilty, right? It's about you activating the joy intentionally in your life. If a new piece of clothes brings you so much excitement, brings you so much happiness in the moment, okay, Who cares if you're not thinking about that dress later? Maybe you're now thinking about your heartbreak. Who cares? It brought you joy in the moment, and again, you get to hold both, And so another way to activate those self-love activities is read declarations. To me, I love to write out, "I love you because..." To activate the joy to remind me of who I am, to remind me of the good person I am, to remind me of, what's good. I love you because you're awesome. Even if no one else can see it or even if you're failing in whatever, even if you're not achieving right now, right? I love you because you don't give up on yourself. Those are things to activate joy for yourself. Doing your nails sitting on the couch, again, watching that feel-good movie. These are little things to just do for yourself. Just finding the joy within yourself, that self-love activities as intention- as intentionality, right? Again, instead of being, like, hard on ourselves, beating ourselves up for the mistakes, it's actually just, "No, I'm gonna swap that. I'm gonna pour into myself. Even if I feel like beating myself up right now, just pour into myself as an F you. F you. F you, mistakes. F you, heartbreak. F you, failure. This is not who I am. This is not what's going to be." So again, intentional joy. And then last but not least, the sixth way to activate, that I use to intentionally activate joy is acts of service. So for me, my acts of service of course, it can show up in different areas, but this way, what I'm doing right now is an act of service. I love creating. I love pouring into this podcast. I love guiding. I love it. It is one of the most joyful things for me, And it's so funny because before I created this video, I'm like, "Oh my gosh," I'm like, I'm so excited. I'm so excited for creating it. I'm so excited for, it-- I feel turned back on pretty much. And so for me, doing this acts of service that is excitement for me. That's a feeling of joy. And then Of course, you can choose yours, right? Other ways of acts of service is simply giving a compliment. For me, like giving compliments to people when I'm feeling sad, when I'm like feeling frustrated and just annoyed, complimenting someone's dress, saying, "Oh my gosh, you're so pretty." Or like just like little things like that is it activates joy because you see it change their face. "Thank you." And it makes you feel really good about yourself, right? It reminds you again of who you are at the core. Just acts of service that you can do that's gonna activate joy intentionally if you j- just do it because you want to, or you do it because it's just a natural instinct. But just take an awareness of that, and I would say do it in more intentional to just make yourself feel more joyful as you navigate this and just giving the F you, like F you heartbreak, F you failure, F you setback, like F you. My life, like I get to build a meaningful, magical life. I've- reading this book, And That's What She Said, because I decide to. I get to build a meaningful, magical life because I decide to. And you choosing joy intentionally as an F you to whatever it is that you're going through is you deciding to build a meaningful, magical life. And so that is it for today's episode. Ladies, just to remind you, I am gonna put the link in the description box for the accountability coaching sessions. If you wanna sign up for it, if you feel like you wanna have accountability to maybe reignite your spark and whatever it is that you want to achieve your passion project, your business goals, your career goals your dream body goals, like whatever it is that you wanna do to reactivate that joy or having consistency and helping you through that so you can achieve it faster and better, right? Knowing that you have someone who's holding you accountable. And so I'm gonna put that link in the description box, and that is it, ladies, for today's video. I will see you in the next one. Bye.