ADHD in High Achievers

When most people think about ADHD, they imagine missed deadlines, disorganization, or academic struggles. But many adults with ADHD are highly accomplished - building businesses, leading teams, and performing at high levels while quietly struggling behind the scenes.

In this episode of Thriving With ADHD, host Nada Pupovac is joined by Maren Londahl-Smidt, LCSW, a therapist and coach who works with entrepreneurs, professionals, and high-performing adults navigating ADHD.

Together they explore the “successful but struggling” paradox - why many high achievers with ADHD go undiagnosed for years and how masking, perfectionism, and hyperfocus can both support and strain performance.

Maren shares insights from her clinical work and lived experience with ADHD, along with practical strategies to help high achievers move from hustle and burnout toward sustainable success.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why high achievers often receive ADHD diagnoses later in life
• The hidden emotional cost of masking ADHD symptoms
• Hyperfocus: when it’s a superpower and when it leads to burnout
• ADHD, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome
• Coping patterns like overwork, people-pleasing, and adrenaline dependence
• How to build sustainable routines and protect mental health
• Practical tools for executive function and productivity

If you’re a high performer who feels like you’re constantly working twice as hard to keep everything together, this episode will resonate.

Thank you for listening to Thriving with ADHD. This show is produced by Animo Sano Psychiatry. For more information about our clinic, please visit animosanopsychiatry.com.

Animo Sano Psychiatry has introduced new services for enhancement of our patients' mental health - ASP Concierge and Health & Wellness Program. Please visit our website to learn more.

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Transcript

I heard somebody describe ADHD in this way one time, and I just thought it was perfect.

It's almost like you're driving a Ferrari, but you have bicycle brakes. So you're going so, so fast and you don't have the capacity to bring it back. And it's hard. It's hard for the person with ADHD, but it's also hard for the other person that's in their life.

Welcome to Thriving With ADHD, a podcast where we share everyday practical tips to thrive in life as an adult with ADHD. This podcast is brought to you by Animo Sano Psychiatry, a behavioral health practice with a specialist ADHD clinic based in North Carolina. And this is your host, Nada Pupovac.

Welcome back to Thriving With ADHD, dear ADHD community.

When people think about ADHD, they often picture missed deadlines, disorganization, or academic struggles. But many adults with ADHD are incredibly successful. They build businesses, lead teams, earn advanced degrees, and perform at high levels.

In this episode, we are going to talk about something that doesn't get recognition nearly enough, and that's ADHD in high achievers.

I am really pleased to welcome our guest, Maren Londahl-Smidt, LCSW.

Maren is a licensed clinical social worker who works with driven entrepreneurs, professionals, and high-performing adults who have built impressive lives but still find themselves stuck in patterns they can’t simply think or achieve their way out of.

She specializes in ADHD, attachment, and the hidden emotional cost of high achievement. In addition to her clinical work, she also supports ADHD therapists in building sustainable private practices, bringing both professional expertise and lived experience with ADHD to her work.

Welcome to Thriving With ADHD. I am happy and delighted to have you and can’t wait to unpack this really important topic.

I don’t think we are talking enough about ADHD in high achievers. This is about people who don't look like they struggle, but I can bet they feel the internal strain every single day.

Today I want to send our listeners a message that we see these people and that we will do our best to help everyone understand what's really going on — what's going on with the brain, with the body, everything — and also try to give some practical advice on how to soften the burden.

Again, you're most welcome, and I can't wait to unpack this conversation with you.

Maren:

I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me. It's such an important topic and I'm so passionate about ADHD.

I have ADHD myself, so I know what it's like, that internal battle at times. But I also think there's another side that we just don't talk about, and it's the high performance.

Just how many great things come from it. We talk about the struggles a lot, and not saying there aren't struggles, but there's this whole other side of the story that we're not talking about. That kind of gives us permission to show up in this way.

Nada:

That's beautiful, and thanks for saying that.

I definitely want to hold space for both things to be true. When we talk about ADHD it almost always comes with struggles and what's not working.

So I'm glad that we will unpack as well what's actually an advantage and what's working really well because of this neurodiverse brain that people have.

Maren:

Absolutely.

We're just in a different place than we have been in the past. We know so much more about ADHD and how it impacts us, and we're figuring out how to move forward and how to make this part of our life instead of saying we're not going to talk about it.

Nada:

Perfect. Let's get started.

First, let's talk about the successful but struggling paradox.

Does it happen that high achievers mask ADHD symptoms? Or that high achievement delays diagnosis? What's really going on here?

Maren:

I see this so much in my therapy practice as well as my coaching business.

On the outside it looks like someone has it all together. I can't tell you how many times I've said to a client, I think we need to look at ADHD.

And the response is immediately, "No, there's no way. I did really good in school."

I've even had people in my personal life say, "You have ADHD?"

Just because of what they see on the outside.

What you're seeing on the outside doesn't mean that's what's happening inside. It's not always what's on paper. There's so much more to this.

Someone can look super successful. They have the job, they have everything together.

But on the inside they're screaming at the top of their lungs. Their nervous system is in shambles.

Nada:

Do these achievements make people think there is no chance ADHD is present?

Maren:

They're really good at masking. They've had to be. That's how they've gotten through life.

Masking habits develop because it feels good when they're high achieving from the outside.

Many people learn from a very early age that if they do really well and are successful, nobody says anything.

People with ADHD are really sensitive to criticism.

So success becomes protection.

Nada:

Many professionals get diagnosed later in life. If someone is diagnosed at 30, 40, or 50, does that shift something internally?

Maren:

Absolutely.

There is grief that comes with it because you've identified as a neurotypical person.

ADHD wasn't even in the question. Neurodiversity wasn't something you considered.

I've had clients where it took years after I first mentioned ADHD before they were willing to explore it.

There's a big difference between being diagnosed early and being diagnosed later in life.

When you're younger, you often have teachers, doctors, parents, and family members involved.

As an adult, you may not have those people around you.

Many times females internalize more. They hold things in.

I've worked with clients who receive an adult diagnosis and say, "But I had straight A's."

That doesn't mean ADHD wasn't there. It means you figured out how to navigate it.

Those become defense mechanisms to protect yourself.

We don't want people questioning what we're doing, so we just keep moving forward.

Meanwhile there can be shame spirals happening internally.

Nada:

There's so much to unpack here.

Let's talk about one ADHD characteristic — hyperfocus.

Sometimes it can be a superpower. Sometimes it can be a coping or survival tool. But it can also lead to burnout.

Can we talk about when it helps and when it harms?

Maren:

Hyperfocus really can be a superpower.

But it's also exhausting because we don't always choose what we hyperfocus on.

Something important might be on my to-do list. I know I need to do it. It's at the top of the list.

But my interest isn't there.

Instead, I'm doing something completely different and getting lost in it.

ADHD is often an interest-based nervous system.

If it's something we're interested in, we can dive deeply into it. We might research it for hours or stay up late thinking about it.

It could be work. It could be something personal. It could even be a food you discovered and now want to try in every possible way.

But we still have everyday responsibilities.

We have this great superpower that lets us show up in incredible ways, but real life is still calling.

Many ADHDers work extremely fast once they're in the zone.

But getting started can be the hardest part.

And when we hyperfocus we forget about other things — eating, responding to emails, checking our phones.

So it's really about understanding how hyperfocus shows up for you.

Some people set alarms. Some use devices like Alexa to remind them. Apple Watches can remind you to stand up.

Sometimes vibration reminders work better than sound.

For me, if an alarm goes off, I just hit snooze.

Sometimes I almost need someone to shake me and say, "Come back to reality."

It's about figuring out how to break the cycle and what works best for you.

Nada:

The first step is awareness — understanding what's happening.

Maren:

Yes.

Many ADHDers also operate in an all-or-nothing pattern. You're either all in or not in at all.

Finding the middle ground can be difficult.

But knowing that about yourself can help.

Closing

Nada:

Before we go, I like to ask everyone one final question.

What is one takeaway you would like listeners to remember from this conversation?

Maren:

Instead of trying to make yourself fit into the way someone else says things should work, start designing your life around how your brain actually works.

Don't try to fit into the box.

Design your life so it supports you.

Nada:

Beautiful.

Thank you so much, Maren. This was such an important conversation.

Thank you for listening to Thriving With ADHD.

This show is produced by Animo Sano Psychiatry.

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Music is by Daddy’s Music from Pixabay.

For more information about Animo Sano Psychiatry, please visit animosanopsychiatry.com.