Setting ACTUAL Goals (PART 2)

THIS IS PART 2 of the goal setting podcast.  

Struggling to consistently break 80 on your golf score? It's time to flip the script! As golfers, we often neglect the power of goal setting and having someone to hold us accountable. This episode is a deep dive into the intricacies of setting up achievable goals and the crucial role of an accountability partner in your golf journey.

This episode not only explores the science of goal setting but also dares to tread on the uncertainties of failure. We put under the microscope, what drives us towards a goal and what holds us back. Unpacking the implications of failure and the importance of understanding the consequences, we provide insights on how to identify if a goal truly resonates with your passion and purpose. Finally, we cast light on the different strategies employed by short-term and long-term golfers translating failures into stepping stones towards success. So, if you're ready to level up your game, both on and off the green, this episode is a must-listen!

Chapters

• 0:00 Finding an Accountability Partner
• 8:36 Failure and Success in Pursuing Goals
• 23:32 Short Term Versus Long Term Golfers

Transcript

Jordan: 0:00

Setting goals podcast part two coming up, but first announcements, hello, hello. Welcome to the announcements section for the week. If you've not yet followed us on social media, we are at my pure golf, at M Y P? U R E GOLF. Across all the major platforms Tiktok, facebook, instagram, youtube you know all the usual ones that almost everybody's on. If you could give us a follow or you want to interact with some of the posts by commenting or liking, it is always beyond Appreciated. We are posting content in shorts every single day on social media and then one longer video per week on the YouTube channel. Furthermore, if you aren't subscribed to the podcast, please subscribe. We want to continue to put the best content out there. We can help golfers consistently break 80 and if you're looking for ways to help us out, following or subscribing to the podcast helps us. So so, so much. Then, if you want to take it to the next level of support, leave us a rating or even a review on Spotify or Apple podcast, and it actually helps the podcast For potential listeners in the future. For, for those who want to read the reviews, say what you love in that review. Give us your success story. We want to hear it all. We're still figuring out this whole podcast thing and how often we're gonna post For a little bit. So give us just a little time to figure that out. I know for a fact that we will be posting a new podcast every Friday. I'll keep you updated on that. But anyways, thanks so much for listening and now back to the podcast.

Jordan: 1:51

Welcome back to the podcast. For starters, i gotta say We got some great feedback on last week's episode. So if you haven't listened to part one of this chain of episodes, go back and listen to it before you start into this episode. It's literally the episode before this that we posted and it's the beginning to all the changes that you need to make in your golf game to begin finding success. For those who did listen And if you're, you know, just not gonna go back and listen to part one Let me summarize what we covered last, last episode, just to jog your memory a little bit.

Jordan: 2:28

The reason most golfers fail is because most golfers are really Really bad at goal setting. Actually like comically bad Golfers get really down on themselves for not accomplishing their big, massive goal as quickly as they quote unquote should, without taking into account just how many hundreds, if not thousands of little Miniature goals there are along the way to begin reaching that huge Long-term goal, that that mountain you're trying to climb. So we talked a little bit of reverse engineering. We talked how to set goals in and then asking yourself a pretty massive question in well, why is this important to me All? right, now that you're all caught up, i Hope that's a good enough of a summary of last week's episode.

Jordan: 3:17

It was about a 20-minute episode, but let's dig into the new stuff today, and some of this stuff is really challenging. It's meant to challenge you. It's stuff that you really don't want to think about, but you've got to today. You've got to be realistic and you've got to hold yourself accountable. And Speaking of accountability, that's the next step.

Jordan: 3:38

Who is going to hold you accountable to do the things that you say you're going to do, both on and off the golf course? You need an accountability partner if you're going to achieve all that you want to do in the game of golf. Let's just clear something up right away your accountability partner Does not I repeat, does not have to be a fellow golfer. I will say it one more time Your accountability partner does not have to be a fellow golfer. Sometimes it certainly does help if your accountability partner is a golfer, because it's someone that you can meet at the driving range Or meet at the golf course and talk through things with, and who can watch you and help you, who you can even compete with on the journey of bettering yourself in the game of golf. However, there's also that downside that you may feel like you have to schedule your day And your practice around them and their schedule, and a lot of times it's that's very hard for for golfers, and and if you really, if you don't want to find yourself competing against someone or comparing yourself to someone on the road to success in golf, maybe you don't need a golfing accountability partner. Maybe golf is going to be more of your own solo journey.

Jordan: 4:53

So I've had plenty of players who would say that they're a significant other, meaning their partner, who they've chosen to marry, who they've chosen to spend their lives with, is actually their accountability partner in the game of golf. I've taught some women along the way, but for the men, a lot of them actually look to their wives or their partners to make sure that they're getting out and practicing what they say. They're going to practice, and maybe that's about making time to the schedule. So one of them is covering the kids, or really it can be any reason at all. However, on the search for that accountability partner, well, however, on the search for that accountability partner, i think it needs to be someone that will say from time to time, because it's going to happen, hey, you got to do a little bit better here. We need you to do a little bit better because you got to reach that goal. Or that accountability partner needs to be willing to ask the hard questions that are going to incentivize you to get better, so you're not running stale all the time. I always recommend weekly check-ins with your accountability partner where you say, hey, on this day, this time, every single week, i'm going to get you a report of how I did, and there's not going to be any excuses behind it. And if there are excuses, your accountability partner. I'm really struggling. I need accountability for saying the word accountability. If there are excuses, your accountability partner should be willing to shoot them down, unless it is for a dang good reason that you didn't do it you said you were going to do for the week.

Jordan: 6:28

In life, i've had many people attempt to be my accountability partner and I've been asked to be it along the way as well, and every single one of mine has failed. And when I found the one that didn't fail me nor did I really fail them I kept them around and asked them to continue to be that role in my life. And we've never really strayed. We've asked each other really, really tough questions. We've sat down to evolve our accountability program with each other of how can we do it better, what makes it more efficient, but also what makes it tougher, because it doesn't always need to be easy, but what makes that accountability relationship really make you want to become better at building your craft? And every so often we've said that we need to make this accountability thing go deeper and better. So we go back to the drawing board and figure out how to make this relationship better So each of us can continue to chase what we really want to in life. And they're just this friend who's insanely gifted at keeping me as an individual accountable, and I am very much that way for them, and I say all that to say.

Jordan: 7:44

Finding a really good accountability partner is tough because without fail, something comes up in the other person's life or even your own life, and they stop checking in with you for one week, then two weeks, then a month, then a few months, then the relationship just slips away. So both people have to be consistent in their checking in. If you haven't checked in, they should ask you, hey, where's that report? And if they haven't asked you for the report and you haven't checked in, you need to be like, hey, why aren't you asking me where I'm at? Maybe you're testing them out, who really knows? But I want to be clear here. There's a reason that, like 99% of people fail on their New Year's resolutions, and it's because in consistency is incredibly hard.

Jordan: 8:36

Excuses always sound great and believable when you start making them up And that many times life doesn't want you to accomplish things. We're easily distracted. I think we're more easily distracted in this day and age more than ever ever before. Excuses. I have a quote. I forget who it's from, so if you know who it's from, let me know. Excuses always sound best to the person making them up. I look at that quote every day and I do my best not to make up excuses, but even I still do. You can also convince yourself that you know what, what I had in mind and what I thought I wanted to accomplish in the world of golf. It doesn't mean that much to me, and those are lies, those are excuses.

Jordan: 9:21

At one point, you really want to do accomplish it. What changed is? you probably figured out that it's a little bit harder than you thought it was going to be. It's another excuse, and the accountability partner is there for a ton of reasons, but one of the main ones is so that when you don't achieve a goal for a week, you have to go tell someone that you failed. And failure, my friends, that is a big, big part of the process. So that is actually the next step Find an accountability partner that is consistent, that challenges you and isn't afraid to speak their mind when they feel you can be doing better. It's part of the game. Have somebody that you can report to.

Jordan: 10:06

Are you ready for the next two steps? They're awesome, and one is just the best feeling ever, and then the other is like maybe the worst feeling ever. But balance is the key, right? So should we start with the worst feeling ever or the best feeling ever? I don't know. Okay, i'm gonna start with the worst feeling ever. Let's just do it. Then we can end on a happy note.

Jordan: 10:29

So I want you right now, if you can, while you're listening maybe you're in traffic, so maybe do it later but write down with a sheet of paper, with a pen. Sit down with a sheet of paper and a pen, not a cell phone, don't type it out on a screen. Sit down with a pen, with paper and ask yourself this question What would happen if I failed at my goal? How would you feel? What emotions would you experience? What physical experiences would you experience? Would you let anyone down? Could you look in the mirror if you let yourself down on your golf goal? Some can't, some can't let that stuff go, and that's okay because it drives them to succeed.

Jordan: 11:15

Let's dig into this a little bit more. Let's say you're a big time. End all be all golf goals to consistently play in the 80s. And by consistently in the 80s we're saying that you know every eight out of 10 times you're shooting in the 80s, but then two out of 10 times you balloon up for like a 92. And when I say this I mean consistently. That means across various seasons you did it. It's not just one good season of you doing it, it's consistently, consistently can't just be one season. You know If you failed this goal, how would you feel? There's no right or wrong answer here, but it's in dealing with this very important question right here that I've actually determined what I want to pursue in life and what I don't want to pursue.

Jordan: 12:01

If the answer to the question of what would happen if I failed at my goal is I think I could handle it. Or you know what, yeah, i could live with myself if I failed with my goal Somewhere along the lines of apathy, just complete. Okay, i'm telling you now don't pursue golf. Golf is too expensive to be apathetic about. It's an investment not just of personal finances but of immense time to master your craft. And I would say this about any life goal If you can live with the answer to any goal you have, any relationship you have, just don't even worry about the pursuit of it. Imagine, like, spending your life with someone I come back to marriage a lot And that person is like, yeah, if we end up, if we end up breaking up, i'll be all right. Like, don't spend your time with that person. You deserve somebody who would be heartbroken if you left. You know You want love to come both ways And I know a lot of people love golf and they don't feel golf loves them back, which I can relate to. I can definitely relate to that.

Jordan: 13:12

But have a care that if you fail it could break you apart in some way. Failure in its most catastrophic, in its most catastrophic form should break you down. Failure in achievement of a goal that matters is how you know that you really really wanna pursue it. So if you find yourself being almost dramatic in this answer of man, i don't think I could look at myself in the mirror if I don't break 80 consistently. Or man, i don't think I could look myself in the mirror if I don't achieve fill in the blank. That's a good thing, that's a drive. Or if you're finding yourself saying it would completely break me and I don't think I'd be able to live with myself Like that's not a bad thing, pursue it. That's how you know that you actually wanna pursue it. Nobody in the world of golf is real about this question anymore. Everybody will sit there and take your money Well, without ever asking you this question and making you think about it. What if you fail? What would that actually mean for you And for most successful golfers that I've known and for those who have seen the most progress in their games.

Jordan: 14:23

It was almost like I'm being exaggeratory here, but it was almost a sense of life and death, of they couldn't have lived with themselves if they didn't achieve their golf goal And that's why they continued to pursue. That's why they didn't hang up the clubs, no matter how bad the round of the practice session was. They persevered. So that's how you know who's gonna succeed in golf versus who's going to quit and make up excuses and put the clubs away indefinitely. So failure to me, is the greatest teacher that we have. It weeds out those who learn versus those who will become discouraged and inevitably quit. But for those who learn from failure time and time again, they're going to succeed.

Jordan: 15:07

And speaking of success, that brings me to the final question that you're going to need to accomplish your goal. So let's talk about it. That question is what would happen if I succeed at my goal? That's the other side of the coin. It's failure versus success. If your goal is to win a tournament in golf, go ahead and visualize yourself holding up the trophy. If your goal is to break 80, what would it mean to sink in or cap in the putt from the number on the scorecard on the 18th hole. What would it mean for you to take off your hat, shake your playing partner's hands with the knowledge and the emotion that you accomplished the goal that you set out to accomplish, that you thought was only going to take you a year, but maybe ended up taking seven or eight years to accomplish? It's a fun question to ponder. Would you scream? Would you cry? Would you celebrate? How would you celebrate? Who would you hug? Who would you call first? Who would you text first? Would you make a social media post about it?

Jordan: 16:03

It's so funny to me, because success is a moment. It's an earned moment. That's what defines success. It's like this beautiful, almost fleeting moment where all the hard work that you put in for years and years comes together and failure, in an opposite sense, many times is actually a choice, where you say all these bad things have happened, i'm going to focus on all these bad things and I am choosing to be done. Success is earned. Failure is more of a choice, and then that choice is giving up, and that's okay as well. But just be honest with yourself about it. I guess that's to say is that failure is the moment that you decided to give up. Success is more a moment that you carved it out to make it happen, and I think both are incredibly powerful tools for success.

Jordan: 16:56

Success is found in saying no to that temptation to quit over and over and over again. It's this utter refusal to give in to the easy way out, and I think that's what makes success this incredible moment to celebrate. It celebrates their own way, which makes it even more appealing for many. I vividly remember hearing about the LA Lakers winning a championship. I forgive back, i forgive when, but I do remember Ron Arthess, who became known as Meta World Peace. He was on the roster And the feeling of success after they won the championship was so addicting to him that he wanted to feel it again. It's actually like many people go out to the bars and they're celebrating the NBA championship. Meta World Peace, ron Arthess whatever you want to call him actually goes to the weight room at like two in the morning and just starts lifting again. He wants to work out because he wants to experience holding the title again the next year.

Jordan: 18:00

For others, success is just posting it on social media. For others, it's going out and celebrating or buying you and your fellow friends some drinks at the local bar. This is this awesome, addictive feeling where all the hard work pays off And once you experience it, you want to experience it again in a more grandiose way. You want to achieve the next goal And you should envision those things happening in your head as often as you can. So I want to tell you again. Write these things down and the answers to them Who is your accountability partner and why them? What would happen if you failed at your goal? What will happen when you successfully achieve your goal? Those are the three questions. Answer them as honestly and as detailed as possible, and when you do that, that will be the change you need to see in your golf game. That's going to make it all worth it in the end.

Jordan: 18:53

Because you took the time to do all the hard work, you now know why you're going to the range and dropping so much money into time hitting little white golf balls. You know why it's okay to go out there and completely unravel in the middle of a round and play poorly, because you know it's for a greater good. And you know why you were waking up early the next day to get in a workout. Put that bad round behind you and begin to move forward immediately. You don't meditate on the bad round.

Jordan: 19:23

You see, reporting to the accountability partner isn't about reporting the fact that you had a bad round. It's reporting the fact that you played the round and the score doesn't matter. That, yeah, that day, let's just say your goal is to break 80 that day, or that's, your long term goal is to break 80. Reporting to your accountability partner that, hey, i shot a 92. I didn't break 80 today. That didn't even come close. It's about the fact that you went out there and you played. It's not reporting that you achieved the goal, it's just reporting that you played a round of golf and because of that round of golf, you're a little bit closer to breaking 80, a little bit more consistently. Right, that's the thing is that's the thing that we're talking about in the first episode is, in order to achieve that long term goal, you have to have many goals along the way, and if you're out there playing a round of golf, just because you shot 92 doesn't mean you're worse at golf that day. What it means is you had an opportunity to stay at home like be a bum because you worked a 40 hour, 60 hour job during the week and you could have just relaxed and you said you know what? No, i'm going to go chase this goal this weekend. I'm going to get out there and, no matter what the score is, i'm going to get out and play because at least at some point in that round I've hit a shot that I can file away in the memory bank and I can come back to that shot. So that's the purpose of the accountability partner as well is reporting why you went out there and, hey, i didn't achieve it, but I definitely got out and played And that's part of the journey.

Jordan: 20:59

My final point that is probably the most important, important point of the entire podcast is after you do all this work, after you've answered all the questions, after you've done the reverse engineering, after you've done the accountability partner, post this stuff somewhere where you will see it daily. Write down your goals, write down the answers to the questions. Put them in your mirror in the bathroom, put it around some tape. Put it in the mirror. Remind yourself of the long term goal every freaking day. Remind yourself of the mini, the little, miniature goals that's going to take you to get there. Remind yourself to check in with your accountability partner. Remind yourself that failure is a part of it and it's a big part of it, because if you don't, i'm telling you you will forget. If you've agreed with all I've said so far, and even if it's not all of it, if you've agreed with some of it or most of it, trust me on this one I won't let you down.

Jordan: 21:59

And again, coming back to marriage, do you remember exactly everything you said in your vows on your wedding day? You definitely don't. For my non-married people out there who've only been in relationships or just had friendships or something like that, have you ever made yourself a promise or promised something to another person and broken it? And it's not that you intentionally broke it, it's just because you forgot. We forget things all the time.

Jordan: 22:32

Like I said, we are a very short term society, especially in America these days. The same is true here. Remind yourself or you will forget. Remind yourself every day of the challenge that lies ahead, and that's it. Do the homework. Remind yourself of the homework that you've done. And now go forth and achieve every single goal you have. In the game of golf, you got the secret formula There's nobody else at the range who's dared to think about these things that you are putting in the time to think about Go forth and break it. Go forth and achieve the goal. Go forth and do what you said you're going to set out to do, because now that you know why you're there and you have somebody keeping you accountable other than yourself, big things are now possible. That's my spiel, and I think it would be something that would help a lot of golfers to sit down and do this work, because you will see nothing but the benefits of it.

Jordan: 23:32

And one of these days, if you do a podcast on short term versus long term golfers, there's a big difference because failure affects them both very differently. But I will say that for another day. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. Share it to a friend. I think this is some of the most impactful podcasting we've ever done on the topic, because it is just so many golfers try it and then give up because they realize how hard it is. Keep yourself accountable and you can do great things, not just in the world of golf, but in life. It's the same formula I use every single time. So have a great day. Thank you for joining me and thank you for supporting the podcast. It always means the world. Take care Bye.