In our culture, it’s assumed that if you have a brain, you’re a feminist. Who could possibly disagree with equal rights between men and women? But, is equality what we really want? Does “equality” mean “sameness”? And what has been the result of such a massive shift in cultural expectations?
Show notes:
In our culture, it’s assumed that if you have a brain, you’re a feminist. Who could possibly disagree with equal rights between men and women? But, is equality what we really want? Does “equality” mean “sameness”? And what has been the result of such a massive shift in cultural expectations?
Show notes:
You're probably going to hate us, but we are conservative Christian moms. We're here to empower other conservative Christian moms to speak up, say what's true, and defend their children's futures. I'm Amy and I'm the often too serious mother of. I'm Candy Rose, and I'm the often two honest mother of three. And I'm Nikki, and I'm the often two emotional mother of two. All right. In our culture, it's assumed that if you have a brain, you're a feminist who could possibly disagree with equal rights between men and women. But is equality what we really want? Does equality mean sameness? And what has been the result of such a massive shift in cultural expectations? Pull up a chair. Let's discuss. let's do it. Okay, so I think it's fair to say that we are all pro suffrage. Movement Yes. that we're all like, yes, I wanna vote and things First wave feminism. Yes, First way feminism Give us our rights, Oh, I do think being anti firstt way feminism would be crazy. and also it's biblical, right? So even in Galatians 3 28, you know, the Bible was super radical too about feminism. I think it's in a culture in a time that even today has very. harsh female cultural standards. But in Galatians 3 28, there is no, neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free. There is no male or female. We're all one in Christ Jesus. So I think even Jesus was probably a first way feminist, or would have been. Yeah. So that's fair, right. Oh yeah. I think it's crazy to think that, you know, hundreds, thousands of years for the majority of the time people have been on the earth. Women have been like second class citizens for a long time. Science. I'm using air quotes, science said that our brains were smaller, like crazy stuff. It's crazy. Yeah, for sure. Definitely. And I feel like, the Bible says that we're, the way that the Bible set up we're equal. The women were the first at the tomb. We were the ones that got to carry the good news to everybody. God was definitely like, yes, women, pro women, Rahab, Ruth, Esther, woman put up, uh, when God put up judges before we had, you know, kings and stuff, there were women judges. Yeah, I mean, I totally agree.. I agree with what Amy said. I feel like Jesus, God kind of was trying to pave the way there. Absolutely. So, why would we say then that we're not feminists? And I do feel this is becoming more, a little bit more, I'm hearing more about it. I would say a decade. 15 years ago, I was all like, no, I hate feminism. And that would've been, no one was saying things like that. I feel like now there's a lot more conservative and conservative Christians. I'm not feminist by today's standards. So what happened during the 1960s wave of feminism? It was all about the sexual revolution. Some of the big things that happened, one would've been birth control, that the pill came out, right? And so all of a sudden women were told feminine sexuality is no go. You guys can be equal to men, which means you can have sex and not care about it. More and more, you know, you can have sex and have abortions. There's no consequences to sex, just like for men. And so that was one big thing was the birth control pill. I also learned. That during that time, feminism took on a very anti-Christian vibe. Hmm. Like there were things that very specifically were anti-Christian. Because like so much of the sixties, the whole revolution was uprooting Christian values in general. And so feminism it like took on that anti-Christian values, anti basic American values hippie thing. The, the hippy thing, Yeah. So that's like, that's the wave where I think where a lot started that we're now seeing decades later, the long-term consequences of that kind of feminism. Yeah, it's, it's crazy cuz it feels like that wave, which is still rolling, I guess is the best way to say that. Uh, it, it's, it feels like we're trying to be men, which doesn't make any sense at. I don't know how else to say that. Like we're trying to erase, so yeah, like a natural part of us, which it just doesn't make any sense to me. I don't know. Right. I, um, we had family in town this weekend and the daughters are so delightful. They're, um, you know, young ladies getting ready for college and one of them wants to go to Yale. Oh and we had this conversation about that she knows that she's going to pick career over. Family because she's aware that she can't do both. And then I was struck, I didn't know what to say cuz we're, you know, we're getting to know each other. I didn't wanna say no, I don't, I don't know. There was definitely a negative connotation with the roles of, I guess not being a feminist, you know, like being a homemaker. All those things. And it made me really sad because I was just like, I, there is some sort of weird shift that has happened even further than our parents' generation where it was okay maybe to be home and raise children. And now it definitely does feel like. Oh yeah. I don't know, one is better than the other. Um, so, and, and then I think it shifted again though because of social media and\ technology and all that kind of stuff. Now women want to like be seen. So it's almost swayed the other way, because I feel like now people wanna show their bodies and, um, be sexual and all these things. So it's shifted again to be like, okay, no, we are like men. But also if you wanna do whatever with your body, with your resources, do it. I don't, I don't know. It's all very worldly, and it's all very sad and it's. I was listening a lot of thoughts. lots of thoughts. I know. Where, where do I stop on that thought trade? Uh, I was listening to a podcast not that long ago that was saying, pretty much it was saying, The world is trying to get rid of the way the Bible or Christianity views a family unit, but just how detrimental that is to our society it is sad and it's not that. I love that as women, we have freedom to vote. And I do think if, if we're doing the exact same job as a man, I a hundred percent agree we should get paid the same amount. I, and I just think that that's kindness and like that just seems like a no brainer. Like, duh, of course Hmm. Yeah, we're both made in the image of God. We're, we're all the Mau day. Is that, am I saying that right? We're image bears. So men and women, we, I think maybe the concept of feminism is just crazy to me because to me, we are equal and, and how that presents in the world might not be accurate. And we, I do think that there are parts that we should, , Uh, not fight for, but be champions of, you know, like our daughters can be career women and have babies if they want, and that kind of stuff. But there's the other side, , that hates family that is, , uh, cheapening. Is that a word? You know, the marriage bed and, and the cost of having a hundred partners. Um, it's just eroding away. The foundation of who we are in Amer I, I think, I don't know. What do you guys think? Yeah, agree. Definitely. I, yeah, I think studies keep showing us over and over again that , kids need a home and they need a mom and a dad, and they need them both to be semi presents. You know, if mom and dad both have, let's say they're both doctors and they're both working all the time, and you know, nanny is raising the, you know, they need you. They, they need. Yeah, something that bothers me a lot about feminism. I think when I start first started realizing that there was something about the feminist belief system that I didn't jive with was when I noticed how. Two things. One, it's so man hating, which drives me nuts. It's like, it's extremely, emasculating and it's just down on men. Right. And the other part of that, the duality of it is it's very, Like pro women as goddesses and you know, like women can do no wrong. And there definitely isn't a cult element there for sure because in new age of cult. they believe that that like men and women are supposed to be like the ying and the yang. Um, the dark and the light, and there's supposed to be a proper balance. And so they believe there's been such an overabundance of like patriarchy and male God, that we actually as a culture need to balance it out with a lot more women. God, like the idea. A female deity. And so there is definitely an cult element to the feminism that's like weird goddesses and we need to everything, everything, and everyone needs to be more feminine, which I also is not biblical, but just the whole thing is like, I'm right. You're wrong. We're better. You're worse. Which is exactly what was done to us for so long. Mm. You know what I mean? Like it's, you know, men have small brains. Men are, you know, they're idiots that. Just that whole vibe. I hate it so much. And. I think it's really degraded our culture in a huge way. I mean, we're seeing a massive issue with just needing men to be masculine and needing men to show up and have purpose and drive and lead and all those things. And, so I mean, the 1960s that was, that was a long time ago. Like this has been happening for a long time and I definitely think that we are seeing Yeah. Yeah. Amy, I agree. I think that men aren't allowed to be men. I think that's one huge consequence of Apparently it's toxic Right. Toxic masculinity. But there's this weird, dichotomy in which, like, what I've noticed, I don't know if you've noticed it, and if you even watched like reality TV or whatever, if a man were to act a certain way, he could get called out. It's like all the me too things, you know? And I'm not saying that that's right at all, but if a woman were to act the same way, it's kind of like, , applauded. up Love is Blind again, Oh, I love, love is blind though. but So smutty. I'm so sorry. complaining. It's the worst. Okay. It's a train where I can use as a mind. It lets your mind go, blah, Okay. I've never seen it. So be thorough in your storytelling. Okay. So, some people that got paired in the pods that are all gonna get married, they send the men to a bachelor party and they send the women to a bachelorette party. This is, I was just complaining to Chad about this. They send the men to a rodeo. And then to a private bar with only men. That's their bachelor party. They send the women to a pool wearing, you know, very little. They send, server male servers in wearing almost nothing to serve them, and then they send them to a strip club and half of the footage is just them dancing. And being humped on and putting dollar bills in men who are almost naked. And I'm like, so this is feminism. This is modern feminism. Women get to do whatever they want because they're goddesses and they're not nasty and they're not being pigs. But men have to go sit in a bar with no women because we can't trust them to make any good decisions. I Right. obviously both would be wrong. I mean, it would be wrong to put the men in that situation. So we're not saying we think the men should have had the same treatment. What we're saying is like, why, why is it okay? Like it's not, it's, it's still gross. It's still, I. It's just still not okay. There still should be decorum, there still should still be standards of how we comport ourselves in public. I don't know. I I thought it was, you make such a good point. It was, it was a lot. And I thought the same thing. I was like, why did the men go off to a rodeo? And the women have strippers in their face. Yeah, it's obnoxious. Another great example is the fact that we're supposed to be all pro porn. Now, I don't know, like we're supposed to, Ali Stuckey.\ Ali Stuckey had on this really interesting woman on feminism. You guys listened to this one too. Do you remember this podcast? We will link it, in the show notes, but she was talking about how part of the 1960s feminism. Really transformed and, and had women detaching themselves from feminine sexuality. Feminine sexuality is naturally more emotional. We attach ourselves earlier than men to like the emotional element. And she was saying that not even from a biblical perspective, just that that's not working. Women are depressed, women are not fulfilled. And she like wrote a whole book about. You know, feminine sexuality, how this is actually good. It's actually how we were, how we were designed. And that seems crazy to me that we have to write books about how feminine sexuality is in fact a good thing in a world that's obsessed with women. Like why are we denying our own, our own selves when we're supposed to all be super pro woman? So one thing I really struggle with is I know that the reason I have a career is because of women's suffrage. I also know the reason I have a career is because we live in a world where we need two incomes, Mm. Mm-hmm. and I know that my children need me. If I could be a stay at home mom, I would. I also love my career and enjoy that. And so I struggle so hard with the balance of. being mom and being the biblical mom I wanna be, and the biblical wife I wanna be. But then also having a career and not thinking there's anything wrong with that, but also knowing it's maybe not ideal, like, you know what I mean? There's all these like conflicting feelings about what our life looks like and how that means or what that means. Candace, do you ever get people, do you ever get weird responses when you tell people that you're a stay at home mom? Oh yeah, for sure. I mean, I've been a stay at home mom for over 15 years now, almost 16 o and. Awesome. uh, you get a varying degree of, uh, responses. People are either like, oh, . A lot of times it feels very shameful to say, I'm a stay-at-home mom. Or some people are really sweet and really supportive. Like, oh my gosh, that's the hardest job. Good for you. But yeah, a lot of people I think don't know how to respond. They're like, oh. And you're like, have you ever been a stay at home mom? Or sometimes you get, oh, what else do you do? Or how do you fill your ti? I don't know. People think I'm just sitting around I know, I think that's starting to get a little better. Have you seen like the memes and the ticks where they're like, if moms, if stay at home, moms were paid, this is how much they would make a year. And they do like the cooking, oh, I have to show you one. It's like they, they list like house cleaning and lingers and I'm a manager. I'm a cook. Yeah. Yeah. All the things. You're a chauffeur. Oh, yeah. you're a referee. Yes. A teacher yeah, so I, I, it's, I do think in some ways things are getting better, but then there's still like the militant side that is like pervasive over society. That's just. And, and again, we're not arguing that women are not equal, but just like the, the killing off of men. It's almost like if we could get rid of men, we would and it's like, whoa. Wicker Man You guys ever seen that? that? movie, Wicker Yes, with Nicholas Cage. Oh Yes. Not the bees. anytime I think of like the ultimate occultic feminist society, I think of that island from like her man with all of these like creepy women who are like, yeah, you know what though? Just thinking about biblical feminism. what is biblical feminism? And it sometimes I feel like it's hard to some to identify because we're reading stories of women who were to some extent oppressed or thought to be lesser. And so their roles were often through what kinds of children they had and that kind of thing. I don't know. I mean, obviously we all love all the, the women's stories because when you really dig into them, you see how courageous they were or like powerful or wise or whatever. but Candace and I recently learned from Diane Lehman, who, um, is a really wise, big name within. the vineyard, which is the movement that we're, the church we're a part of. Anyway, she was talking about how we often think of men as being the head of the household. I have definitely thought that way, even though we, we work in a much more partnership. In my mind I'm like, okay, give my husband the respect. He's the head of the household. I'm totally fine with that. I have no problem with that. And she was saying how that's not really biblical because that idea. Have you guys seen the picture of like the umbrella and the men or the umbrella? Yeah. like it. No Mm. So here's the, here's the analogy. Men are the umbrella over the handle where women and children are. And then God's above that. And Diane was saying, how is it biblical that women and children have to go through the man to get to God? That is not what the Bible says. And so I actually remember in Bible college seeing this alternative picture, but I didn't understand it until she, I don't know why I saw. Was, it was not explained to me, but it's more like an H. So, uh, there's mom and there's dad. They're like the vertical H pillars. And then the connecting between is the children and then everyone has access to God and you have this partnership. And so someone said, well, that's great, but practically what does that look like? Mm-hmm. And she's like, honestly, you guys have probably already been doing this. But the reality is that not only men are leaders, women are leaders too. And so you just have different strengths. And sometimes those are typical classic strengths. Maybe you're the mama, you're the nurturer, maybe you're the man, you're the discipler, but sometimes not. Maybe you're the woman, you are the financial manager, or you know, maybe you're the dad and you are the nurturer, whatever. But like whatever your strengths are, that's where you lead. And then you submit to each other. And the most important thing she said is Christ is the head of the household, not your husband. And I loved that. I was like, duh, Yes. That makes perfect sense. I actually love that because don't you feel, or maybe this isn't true for you guys, but early days marriage, people often told us to make sure we were submitting you know, like headship, headship, headship. Which, you know, I'm all for headship, but I kind of love how that picture is like, Hey, we're working together. We're submitting to one another. We want this to work together instead of just like we're beneath them or something. Yeah, and what never made sense to me. I mean, I'm always like a thinker. I always wanna ask the Don says, I'm annoying cuz I'm the person who wants to like raise my hand and ask the really hard questions. Like, I love that. this doesn't make any sense. So what doesn't make any sense, , about the man being the head of the household and us having to go through him, is that, Would that mean that like, my sin is not mine, but actually his like, can I even take ownership for my own wrongdoings? If, if he's the head isn't every, like, is does it all fall on him? You know what I, you know what I'm saying? Like, it, I feel like it takes, it takes some responsibility away, which I not in a good way Hmm. so that's what never, that's just what never made sense to me. I, that's so interesting and I bet you that there's some corruption in that area and some Christians, or I bet you there is some, because there are some verses that speak to, you know, like a husband's justified through his wife's faith or what, you know, there's some, there is a little bit of that. So, Oh, for yeah, so you, I don't know. I like the, the co-heirs, , the co joint, co-working together, Yeah. And it's, it's hard. The way things are worded sometimes, like some, I mean, you guys know we're all, we're all Christians and we've grown up in church. The way things are worded sometimes can trigger me. Like we are calling ourselves conservative Christian moms and that is what we are. But there are definitely other moms that are way more conservative and maybe way. more that probably don't agree with anything we're saying probably. And so it's hard when some of these women are like, oh, I submit to my husband and everything. Like, what, what? I don't Yeah, I, I, yeah, I, I'm just like, okay. I, I do respect my husband, but also. I guess I do have a really strong part of me, I do have a very strong personality. Don always says, I would not have made it a hundred years ago. My husband would've killed me or beat me or something. I don't know. I just, it feels like we don't have a voice without feminism, you know what I'm saying? Like I don't think that's what Jesus would want for us, that we don't have a voice. In fact, I would argue that's not even biblical because weren't they like the manager of the entire house? That seems like a really loud voice. Oh, hugely. Uh, you know, and they were responsible for the money and making sure that it grew things and buying the fields, you know, like making those big decisions. like they did a lot. Yeah. And, and, and some of the people did very risky things like think of Ruth, so like in the end, like you really have to submit to God, like what is God calling me to do? Ruth laid at the feet of Boaz . Like that was probably not the conservative Christian woman thing to do at the time. Um, yeah. the story of Tamar when she like seduced. I think it was Oh her. Yeah. Her, um, of the, yeah. It's a weird story. I don't wanna go into it, but I'm just saying story. Yeah. Google it if you speaking of, kind of speaking of. Moses' wife when they're traveling to Egypt, he like goes back to get his family. They're traveling back to Egypt. He has not circumcised his own son. God is so upset with him. It says that he's ready to just strike him down and kill him and she comes and wakes him up and is like freaking circumcised your son. And doesn't she do it? Either she does it or she's like, you need to do this right now. I was gonna say, I don't remember. Yeah. don't, I'm not sure she actually does, but I think that she. Is like, do this now, or you're, yeah. It's so good. And she, like, she literally was saved her entire family, including him because he wasn't stepping up and doing what he was supposed to do as the, as the man, you know? Um, yeah. I takes a lot of pressure off too. Or maybe not, pressure's not the right word, but we've talked about this before in our private conversations. I feel like I've had such a longing and maybe it's not a correct longing that we. Had put in us from like church that our husband should lead and make the decisions and like pick the church and lead the home and pray. And all of us have shared a longing for our husband to do that because of this headship, this umbrella talk. And as we're kind of learning and praying together and thinking about what we think on these things, I'm learning like, Hey, it's okay that. Made us strong in this. It doesn't mean that we're taking away headship or that we're taking away their masculinity. We're just co you know, we are their help meet, like we help them meet God, we do it together, and none of that makes us lesser. It just makes us, different but equal. Okay. And I would even say Nicki, I think part of us longing for that is kind of what Amy was speaking about earlier. We've kind of taken away in our culture a big chunk of s masculinity. So they're not, I don't think they're operating maybe as strongly as they could or should. Yeah, I think it's both and. Yeah. I hear that's so true. I do agree. I do remember Diane Lehman saying that anytime she does this talk, couples, the men are always, she, it's like a sigh of relief. She can see them like, put down this load of, oh, I don't have to be in charge of everything, or I don't have to somehow be responsible for all the things, but it is a partnership. Um, so I definitely think there is a sense of like, okay, but at the same time, , , even biblically, men were the ones who were. Doing the sacrifices. Men were toning for their families, things like that. So I think there is a very natural leading thing happening. I mean, that isn't that part of what happened with the Garden of Eden is Eve who was, , who was deceived and who for something she didn't have or yearned for a secret truth, right? So certainly she sinned, but she took it to Adam and that was Adam's Prime. Opportunity to be like a woman , put the freaking nap down, , you know, like to lead and, and like protect and he didn't. Right. And so I, yeah, I, I agree. It's both ends. That's a good way to put it, for sure. Hmm. Of both. And I bet you though there are definitely people listening that are like, Nope, this is way too progressive. And then on the other side, you know, I mean like, because I think actually for conservative, what, when you said people are way more conservative, there are like, I know people that would never. Oh yeah. Say this Yeah. more, um, is it egalitarian or complimentarian? I see. I am more of a complimentarian, even though, I mean I do think women can preach and all that kind of stuff, but I think it's a lot more, actually anybody can, but I think all people have to be called. So I think there's too many men preachers that are doing it that shouldn't and too, so when I'm saying I don't think women should do it, I don't mean that they shouldn't. I just think like it really should. Calling, but I tend to be a little bit of more complementarian in the sense that yes, women can preach absolutely. But I definitely think that we just have different strengths, like we just are made differently and not always some, like you said, sometimes the men's, the nurturer. Um, but for the most part we're just wired so differently. we really are. And that's a huge trouble with putting our sexuality, our sexes in a box like. Yeah. Yeah, I, uh, this is like such an aside. Does anyone else get really annoyed when they go to the local, whatever, Starbucks, Chipotle, whatever, and they have to use the bathrooms that are for everybody, but clearly it's There's a I don't like. Well, no, I just don't like sharing a bathroom with men on a regular basis. I was trying to explain this to the person I was at Starbucks, right? It was nasty in there because a bunch of men had been in there. I know that men go into women bathrooms and think the same thing. They're like, this is nasty. But the thing is, Women are like, but it's this, it's a kind of nasty that I am accustomed to We're all women and we all deal with the same kind of gross stuff. Just like men all, they have their own thing. I know this is such an aside, but I do think it's somehow related because like our whole culture is, our whole culture is obsessed with sameness. Like we're all the same. We can share bathrooms. Oh, I, I'll do if I need. Yeah. don't like being forced. Like 50 years ago, we would never be forced to share bathrooms, right? Because we're, we're differently gross Mm. But it's just true., there's something, there's something so foundational about the idea that men and women, I don't think this is like a sin issue. I'm not trying to make this into like something weird, but like we should not be sharing bathrooms in public. I just don't think we. like a weird thing to, like a hill to die on. Like I'm a feminist and I want access to all the bathrooms. I wanna pee standing up, I wanna , I wanna do all Why are we trying to be the same? I just, you know, also, not to mention another duality is like, be yourself, you're different. You should be different. But then all, we're all trying to be the same. Right? It's an, it's so, it doesn't, it's so illogical. It drives me crazy. drives me Jesus come back, I know. All that to say I'm not a feminist cause I don't wanna be a man. I like being a woman Yeah, I think that's what I would say too. Yeah, but I al but I feel like, feminism through the lens of the Bible is okay. Like, God wanted women to be equal. So it's we keep saying the same thing, but. We're not saying get stomped on by the men. Stay home and have the babies. Don't have a career be a doormat. That's not at all we're saying that we're Deborahs and Ruths and Tamars and Susan's, and Anna's and Tabitha. and Mary's we. We are co-heirs and we get the same access and we get the, I think if people truly read their Bible, read your Bible. This is your plug. Go read your Bible. Go read the Bible. that, that God designed it for us to be equal and we don't have to take our clothes off for that. We don't have to emasculate men for that. We don't have to, give up having children to do that. It's just, it's just crazy. It's craziness. It's crazy. Talk. I agree. I agree. Oh. do. You said give up children. I think that's another interesting point. We live in the DC Metro and so there is a lot of women. there's, I think there's a much higher percentage of single women in our area than in other parts of the country. And a lot of them, it's because they've gone off and they have their, they've gone career first, right? And they have to spend a lot of years in their career to get to a certain spot, to get to the freedom of like maybe having a life. And for instance, I have a friend who's an engineer and she. She's in an almost all male environment. She has to go out and drink and talk up her. Like her customers, she has to, she has to live a very masculine life, a very like bachelor life just to do her job. And so I think of people like that too, just the way that our culture has shifted in such a way, she's so smart, she should get to be an engineer. I think it's beautiful, but there's no room for her to be a female engineer. She can't be an engineer in the way that God would have her be an engineer. She has to be an engineer in this weird, twisted, cultural feminist. Women are men way. And so I think even in, in the elements where culture would say she's empowered, she's not empowered. You know, like she doesn't get to be beautiful mother engineer, she has to be this other thing and I don't know. it makes sense. It's literally what the Bible talks about. We've exchanged truth for a lie. This is a whole counterfeit thing where we get to, it's like the apple. We're constantly taking a bite. We're constantly saying, we, if we eat this, we will this . If we do this, we will this. But you see like the air in that so quickly., I know so many dear beloved sisters who chose career, you know, we're getting older now. I'm 37, so a lot of these women are now there is like, it, there is like this desperation of like, let me find somebody quick and let me pop out. I mean, and they get to do it all, but it's a very scary and, and there's no shame if you did. I'm, I'm not saying that that's a horrible thing, but I've seen it, I've seen the kind of frenzied like, okay, it's time. I, I got to do everything else first. Let me, I have one year to make all this happen. Find a man, pop out, two kids, , and, you know, and so I don't know. There, there's this lie that we're buying into that we have to choose one or the other and or we're. We are not women. I don't know. I'm not, I don't know. It's very sad. I agree. Yeah, I think there's a fulfillment lie for sure. a fulfillment lie. Thank you. You brought that around. I was like, there's a word for this and it's alluding me I remember, after I had the girls, so I had. not because of my career, but because when Chad and I got married, a bunch of people, like multiple different people from different circles said, you need to wait five years before having kids. And so we were, we really felt like the Lord was trying to actually say something. So we waited five years and then it took us a couple years to have babies. And so we were seven years into our marriage. I was four years into building a company and I was, I did get to this point of like, oh my gosh, I'm. Invested so much. Well, I feel that way now, but like I was like, I invested so much in this company that I'm building what's gonna happen, Mm, you know, to this thing that I built to this career that I'm building. And., after I had the girls, I didn't give a flying flip like they were born. And I you. was like, don't care, don't care. And then after six months I started to care a little more. And now I'm at like a balanced place of I really love my career. And also I love my kids and I love all the time I get to spend with them. And I had a friend to reach out a couple years ago. She was having an unexpected baby and she had built same thing she was, you know, more than a decade into her career. and she just had her baby. And she said, the thing is, I don't really care about my job or my, my author career, or all these things that she had been working. She's like, is that gonna change ? She was kind of freaked out, you know, she's like, is this what's gonna happen? And I said, don't worry, you're gonna get back into all the things you love, you'll get to do all the things. It's fine, but. anyway. I do think there are lots of things that women go through with that and, and believing in the fulfillment lie. But then when you have your babies, you're like, I don't, I don't care. Yeah. It's just nothing in comparison. Yeah. You just don't, And I wonder if it all. We always just bring it back to Jesus, whatever we're doing, whether women, men, whatever, if we're always just fixing our eyes on Jesus and doing the next right thing, you know, like, okay, Lord, I feel like the whole American thing of having good money, good retirement, but just actually like, okay Lord, what do you have for me today? You know, who do you have for me to speak into today? Mm-hmm. And that might be your children, that might be your coworkers. What I, I don't know. All of it. We're just buying into alive like tomorrow. But, , it's, it's today that God's given us and put in front of us and um, and what are we with what he's given us, what are we being faithful with? If it's children, if it's career, whatever, whatever that would. That just struck me when you were talking like, we're just looking forward anyway. Even if it's not femininity, maybe it's another topic. We're thinking about, oh, the next house and the next vacation, the next this, and it's just like, what about what? What plans God has for you? So it was just a thought when you were talking that struck me. Yeah, I definitely think that, feminism, like many of these kind of cultural, political topics are their own religion. Mm, they and feminism is just the religion of self. The religion of, Yeah. I don't know. All I can say is I'm so glad I'm not a goddess. Please don't make me a same Oh wanna I cannot save anyone or not interested, no hmm. So many things. We're not goddesses and we don't wanna be men. Noop, in case anyone wondered. Well guys, you're gonna hate us But you're gonna love us See you next week. Bye. Bye.