Hearing God’s voice can be… a challenge. Knowing when to move forward or when to sit still. Discerning the BEST choice over just a good choice. Walking a God-led path for yourself, your husband, and your kids. From moving to a new house, to picking the right style of education, to the best course of discipline for a rebellious kid. How do we find ways to listen, and how do we feel God speaks to us?
Hearing God’s voice can be… a challenge. Knowing when to move forward or when to sit still. Discerning the BEST choice over just a good choice. Walking a God-led path for yourself, your husband, and your kids. From moving to a new house, to picking the right style of education, to the best course of discipline for a rebellious kid. How do we find ways to listen, and how do we feel God speaks to us?
you're probably going to hate us, but we are conservative Christian moms.
Amy:We're here to empower other conservative Christian moms to speak up, say what's true, and defend their children's futures. I'm Amy and I'm the often two serious mother of twins.
Candace:I'm Candy Rose, and I'm the often two honest mother of three. And I'm Nikki, and I'm the often two emotional mother of two. God's voice can be a challenge knowing to move forward or when to sit. the best choice over just a good choice. a led path for yourself, your husband, and your kids from moving to a new home. To picking the right style of education to the best course of discipline for a rebellious kid. How find ways to listen and how do we feel? God speaks to us. Pull up a chair. Let's discuss. This is a great topic. Yeah, So good.
Amy:is God like clear for you guys? when God speaks, what is that like for you guys?
Candace:There have been times where I am positive God is speaking. It's not audible, but it's too, coincident. It's too coincidental, and you're like, oh, God is talking to me. Does that make sense? Yep. not always. Um, I would say that I kind of, I agree with what Candace is saying. I don't think I've ever audibly heard the voice of God. I'm trying to remember if there was a time. But for me, it's more like I have to be in the word, like reading the word, absorbing the word. It's gotta be in my mind.. And then normally when I'm praying for discernment, like a verse will come, or like a, an image from a verse will come. You know what I mean? Very scripturally grounded feedback. And then I guess what's frustrating about that is when I'm like praying to God, I'm like, I need a yes or a no. There's like, A yes or a no? Oftentimes, like I think that there's peace sometimes, but I don't know. I'm, I'm in a frustrating situation right now, so I, and I'm one of these people that forget that the Lord has been good and has spoken through his word, and I'm like, why aren't you talking to me right now? So, I guess I would say it's difficult to discern the voice of God, It is. I definitely think it is. I have had plenty of times in my life where I am in a similar situation, Nikki, and I'm like, Jesus, I need to know. And , it feels vague. Yeah. Mm-hmm. where are you Lord? Why are you so far from my cries? I am a worm In the words of David,
Amy:do you guys know that quote from the screw tape letters when the devil's talking, and he's basically like talking about how he's gonna distract everyone to the point that they can't even pay attention to God or hear the voice of God, like he's just gonna fill them with distraction. I can't, I'll, I'll link the, in the show notes, the actual quote, it's CS Lewis
Candace:favorite
Amy:screw tape letters. Oh, so good. I do. That's how I feel.. I feel like I'm constantly having to like settle down distraction, cuz life's very distracting, you know? But I'm kind of like, you can't just, I, it. Sometimes it's so obvious, like the last time we bought a house, even though it freaked me out, it was so obvious and there was sometimes I feel like when you move in the direction that God's asking you to, you come up against brick walls, like, um, you come up against obvious attempts from the devil to like, Make it hard,, and sometimes that's a clue, like, But a lot of times that's actually a clue, like, oh, I'm moving in the right direction and I have to get past this. You know what I'm talking about.
Candace:Hmm.
Amy:So we definitely had that kind of experience with some of the last big decisions we've made. But it's not always
Nikki:I was gonna say it's not always like that. I will give a great example of a, a huge one in my life. When I was in college, I got pregnant, and I know I've shared this on the podcast before, and.. I was still at college. It was the summer after my sophomore year, and I was taking a few summer classes and I was working, and I was living in an apartment with a friend. And I remember just being so desperate, like, God, I don't know what to do. Should I move home? Should I stay? And I wanted, I wanted a clear answer. I really, really wanted a clear answer. Like I, I mean, I did not, we've already talked about this. I knew I was gonna keep the baby, but I, I didn't know it was. A big, pivotal moment, and I'm like, God, I don't know which way to go. And I just, I don't know. Looking back, I remember thinking maybe, maybe it would be fine, whatever I decided to do. And I, I think that probably is true. I, I made a decision. I, I came home and I lived with my mom and dad for a while until I could, until life moved on, but I, I think, I think the big decision was to keep Malachi, and I think God really quickly helped me get to that decision. And I think beyond that, I, I think sometimes the decision is ours and he's just with us, you know?
Candace:Oh my gosh. I just had like such a light bulb moment as you were talking. It's just like, I think we view., we talked about this in like the manifesting podcast. Like we view God as this some person that we talk at instead of You know, like we're talking and he's talking back. Um, and that can lead to like, what do I do? Da da da, da da da da. And I think what I hear you saying, or at least what it made my mind switch onto, was that it's more of a relationship. You're like, what should I do, Lord? And he's like, I don't know, just, you know, like, I'm with you. Whatever you decide. He's not necessarily like, like Buddha or these other ones that have a path for you to go, you know, he's with us, we're supposed to, what are we supposed to do? Tell, you know, tell other people about him and live your life. And that doesn't necessarily mean I, I de I definitely think there's times where he's like, Hey, go and disciple to this or go do this. But yeah. But otherwise I think it's more.
Nikki:yeah,
Candace:Whatever you want, daughter, like you wanna stay home, I'll bless you and I'll walk you through it. You wanna stay at school? I'll bless you. And I'll walk through it. So light bulb moment there. He's just, he, he's dad and he's like, what do you wanna do, kid? Or i'll Sometimes he is Kid, get your butt home.
Nikki:Yeah. And I think sometimes having the choice can be overwhelming cuz like we would rather know his sovereignty, right? Like, oh God, that's so good that you love me, no matter which way I go. But I kind of want you just to tell me
Candace:Hallelujah.
Amy:Yeah,
Candace:I slapped
Amy:The older you get, the the dumber you feel, the more you're like, can you just tell me what to do? Like, I know I'm dumb. Just tell me the thing, But I
Candace:is so true. Oh, sorry. I feel that
Amy:yeah, I'm someone who like, Not only do I have typically now my whole life's not this way, especially as complexities come like I feel like I'm way less organized and less of a planner than ever before. But my personality is to plan ahead and have a Plan B and have a plan C, and most importantly, pride myself on the fact that we will never have to use Plan B or C because Plan A was so well thought out and everyone's so happy with the way that I made the plan. It's like neurotic. Um, and so I, I'm like, have this obsession that like, there's the best way, even down to the small stuff, there's like the best way to do things and then everything else is sort of inferior. And I can't choose the inferior choice because then that makes me inferior. I don't know. It's very not of God. But, um, I'm def like the, again, the older I get, the more I'm like, some choices are just different. there's not always. The right choice and the wrong choice. Definitely some choices can be better or not as not as better, but some things are just different. And I love what you said, Nikki, about it relationship, because as long as you understand your calling and as long as you're listening for your assignments, right, there's a difference. There's the calling, which is like,
Candace:Everybody has to
Amy:yeah. know God and share the gospel, but like then there's individual assignments, so as long as you have clarity about those things and you're seeking for those things, I feel like a lot of other stuff just sort of like, as long as it's not sinful, it just sort of sits in this space of like, it's just different. It's a different choice. I don't know.
Candace:That's good.
Nikki:I agree.
Candace:I feel like the water gets cloudy in like American modern society when I think arguably a lot of the things we do are technically probably wrong. Like, and, and maybe you guys will argue with me on this, so this is good. This will make a conversation like a home for example, the Bible says neither a borrower or a lender, you should be. So here we are embarking on, you know, like, should we stay in a home that we really do not love , um, we just have a hard situation with neighbors and proximity and all these things, but we could pay off our house in three more years., or do we go pursue the dream? and we could pay for it, but it will be, it will be a hard dream. And even anything in between those two is still a lesser hard dream. Does that make sense? So like all of a sudden, God's voice becomes hard to discern because I'm like, God doesn't need me to have a giant, beautiful house, or even a moderately beautiful house. I have a house and a roof over my. And I need to be thankful for that. So do you see where it gets muddy? Like I'm like, where are you Lord, and what do I do? And I don't know. So that I, that's where I'm stuck right now. I'm like, okay, should I just sit here and pay it off? Then I think it feels like that's the right answer, but I don't want that to be the answer So maybe we're just not obedient when we know the answer. I don't know.
Nikki:I don't know. It's, uh, Nikki, I love that you're wrestling with this. I feel like I've been wrestling with some stuff lately too, and wanting God's. Yeah. I don't know. Discernment and wisdom. That's what I've been praying every day is like, God, I need clarity. I need the wisdom. Like I don't understand . It's just hard.
Candace:schooling. Like I pulled my daughter, , she was having a horrible time in the county school here. I pulled her, she's now doing a, it's not technically homeschool, but she's home and I'm schooling her. She's doing this thing called virtual Virginia.. It's just like so hard. Then I have a kid in public school and that's hard for its own things. It's just, just like so many things, like even if you speak to pastors on this, they're like, well, don't take the light out of schools. They, you know, they're the salt in the light. Leave them in the schools . And then you have the other pastors that are like, bring them home. The world's gonna tarnish them. And it's just Lord, what are you saying? And this is, Not something that, well, I guess it does talk about it. It's like raise up a child in the way they should go. So does that mean they should be home and I should be raising them up the way they should go? Why does the answer always come when we're doing these podcasts? And then I'm like, no,
Nikki:I think.
Amy:first chance to really talk it out,
Nikki:Yeah, I was gonna say, you're
Candace:Woo
Nikki:out loud and I, gosh, all these questions are so good and the bible study I've been doing recently, I feel like has been teaching me, there's so much, there's so much gray. in discerning Right. What God's saying and even discerning what he says in his word. Right. Because like you said, Nikki, a lot of what we should be basing our lives on and the truth and everything is what's written in his word. But even that in and of itself is not as clear as I would hope it would be. Which is hard. Yeah. There's a lot of context. It's just, it's hard. It's hard.
Candace:Yeah. My prayer, like every single day this week has been , speak you Lord, your servant is listening. Because I feel like oftentimes what I'm doing is sh Lord don't tell me what I want to hear. So I'm like, sh shh, shh. I mean, I what I don't wanna hear, right? But then I'm like, wait, tell me what, and he's like, you, you told me to be quiet like , like I can't speak through the noise now. And then we're like confused when. Maybe we're not, or maybe there's so much gray, and I think maybe what we're saying is that we want to live surrendered, fully submitted lives, which I think is a really beautiful, precious thing. But that feels hard cuz then it's like, what do we do with normal decisions in a fully submitted, surrendered life?
Amy:Yeah. That made me think of you describing, that made me think of like a very typical parent child conversation., you're like trying to tell your child they correct them, you know? So we got a set of those like. Toddler or knives for our girls. You know the ones that are safe cuz they've been wanting to help us in the kitchen. And I'm like, they should totally be able to like cut an apple or whatever. And so we're like trying to teach them knife safety and you know, you hold the apple like a claw, don't put your fingers out there and you know all this stuff. And they just like dive in and they're like, no mom,
Candace:ever.
Amy:right? Like, no mom, I can do it myself. I know how to cut it. I'm like, you've literally never once learned. I have never once taught you, you do not know how to do this, but they do. And they like almost cut their finger off with like the fake knife, you know? But , I feel like that is our
Candace:Yes,
Amy:right. Like, it's like we wanna do it ourselves and like, we wanna be responsible. It's our life. But then, so we're like, sh shut, I, I got it. And then we're like, so, um, remind me, yeah. What the um, what are the rules with the knife , like you said, you could do it yourself, so
Nikki:remind me what I'm doing.
Candace:I mean, it's just so crazy. I guess we're, we're winding down that it's, or we're landing on that. It's a relationship. It's just a back and forth talk, but gosh, I wish it was a megaphone. Like today, thou shout, go onto the store and pick out the chicken.
Amy:out for the woman in green. She'll need prayer.
Candace:yes,
Nikki:Uh,
Candace:wanna avoid route three. There might be traffic on
Nikki:oh
Candace:like a Siri or an Alexa. God's not Siri or Alexa. Said we have to re repeat for like wanting, I mean, I don't know , I'm just like, tell me what to do, Lord. I will do it.
Nikki:I
Amy:we just decided to homeschool our girls and it was like we, so we had, we've like been very solidly against public school, mostly because of how young our girls are. So they're starting public school. at a time when, like 10 years from now what schools are going to become will still matter cuz our girls will still be in school So like it's very real for us. And so we're like, okay, definitely no public school. And then so there's private school, which is what they did this year, which was a really great experience. Um, yeah, but it's like so crazy expensive and. The Lord arranged for us to pay for it last year. He also arranged for us to pay for it next year. But after that we have like, I don't know how we're gonna do that. So we have this money put away for another year, but it's so expensive and so, but it was a lot of like, what's the best. Choice and how are we gonna logistically handle homeschooling at our girls when we both need to work full-time? And like,
Nikki:Yeah.
Amy:what about seeing other children? You know, there's like all, there's like the bajillion little details of the difference between homeschooling and public school, but we decided to homeschool them and. It was one of those like quiet yes type things. I didn't have a strong sense that this was the right choice, but as we have moved forward in it, like we had to withdraw our children this, this week. So we didn't, weren't auto enrolled for next year, which is really early. I mean, I get it, but it's like, it's a long time for now. Anyway, so as we've moved forward in, in actively making that decision and the repercussions of it, I've had all these conversations with people that. Reaffirmed like, oh, okay. I think this probably was the better of two choices, both of which were good choices,
Candace:Hmm.
Amy:but sometimes it's walking in faith. I think just like walking it out and being like, okay, yes, that was, that was good.
Candace:Yeah. And I, and I feel like God would've blessed again. He would've blessed whether you
Amy:They're both good choices. Yeah. Yeah,
Candace:That, I think that's the challenging part.
Amy:but they both have different consequences. So part of it's just like risk assessment like this, these consequences, which consequences are worse? Us having to figure out how to do childcare and how to work or us like draining their future bank accounts so that you know, like, which is worse? I don't know. So we just picked one It's hard
Candace:I know. It's kind of
Nikki:that's a big, that's a big decision. I feel like that's a big decision and what Nikki is walking through right now is a big decision. Yeah. The big decisions feel so weighty, this is gonna affect a long time. It's not just gonna affect tomorrow, it's gonna affect a long time, you know?
Candace:Yeah, and it's just hard cuz sometimes like, I don't know if it's actually the logic that's wrong right now. Logically it obviously makes sense to say in the cheapest place where you can just save up all your money. But then is that a worldly perspective? Because like if I start saving up a ton of money for retirement, am I supposed to retire? I mean, there's like so many, no matter which way you do it, you know, I don't know. It's just been very difficult. And I don't wanna say that God doesn't care because he obviously cares. But it feels like, maybe, to me it feels like maybe the silence or the non clarity is he is like, he will bless us wherever we go and there will be different consequences wherever we.
Nikki:Yeah.
Candace:Um, but it's just tough cuz I really wanna hear, I wanna hear a yes or a no. I think it was the same way when Scott and I decided to get married, I agonized. I was like, I don't know if you're the one I'm supposed to marry. Like you're a cool dude. We have fun together, but we're not compatible in every single way. He was like, God told me that I'm going to marry you. I. Gonna have to tell me, and there was like, a lot of times I tried to break up with Scott, Over and over again cuz I was like, God did not tell me that. And I feel like we're not compatible in a lot of ways. And he was like, God told me that I'm supposed to marry you. So I was like, all right. So we got married. But I would've loved to have his assurance. And it of course, it, it worked out. But I, I really, I don't wanna say envy cuz that's not right, but envy, for lack of a better word, people who hear from God like, um, Pa, my pastors at Glasgow Farm, they it seems like God speaks to them. I mean, and maybe they're mean like scripture or whatever, like they're regularly hearing from God and I'm just like, man, that is just , don't know. It, it makes, it doesn't make me feel like God doesn't love me, but somewhere near that camp
Nikki:Yeah.
Candace:like, like am I not hearing? Am I on the wrong frequency? And then I don't know it definitely there's some weirdness there
Nikki:Well, I would encourage you not to compare because I do think comparison is the
Candace:is the thief of Joy
Nikki:And I mean, it's not, we can't know anyone's life. Exactly. So even if somebody we admire and respect, like a pastor is saying, Seemingly like they hear from God all the time. Right. You don't know what that means. Exactly. Are they just in their word a lot? Because Yeah. God, I mean, God a hundred percent has spoken to me very clearly. Just through scripture. Right. It does happen. It definitely ha I mean
Amy:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:there's just, there's so much we can't know, so I would encourage you try not to compare I know that's
Candace:I, I, need to
Amy:that. is hard. That is hard. I know that with my husband and I, like he's kind of in that camp tunicy of like, I don't feel like I hear from God. I feel like I ask and I don't, and I feel like I hear from God pretty regularly. I don't often sit in a place where I'm. there's lots of silence. Like there's lots of seasons of like, just waiting. Right. But it's, it's not agonizing in the way that I think he experiences, which is like this just silence
Candace:very similar. He and I are very similar in that because
Amy:But we're just different people, you know? It's not, it's not, I'm not doing anything special. He reads his bible more than I read mine. You know, like
Candace:I think this is probably like where good discipleship comes into place. Like you, we really need like those mentors and those spiritual sisters and mothers and fathers to like come alongside and encourage because My temptation in that, cuz I'm very much like Chad would be like, okay then I'm gonna sit and do nothing. Like I have done nothing today. There's piles of clothes everywhere. My computer's here, I'm supposed to be editing. I have so much to do, but I am like not paralyzed,
Nikki:you're overwhelmed.
Candace:And I'm like, Lord,
Amy:Hmm
Candace:which way?
Amy:mm-hmm.
Candace:it, it can feel really hard not to. Not to hear a, a clear anything. So then for me, I'd defer, like, I would be like, whatever you think, you know. And so I'm trying to defer to Scott, and then I think he's stuck in his own way. So it, it can be, I don't know, but it's like so many things in our culture right now, and actually most of our topics, even within Christians, even within conservative Christians, Are like, how can we be hearing from God or discerning his word and his voice so differently? you know, like almost all of our topics kind of come down to this very fundamental piece of what are you saying? God,
Amy:Hmm.
Nikki:Yeah,
Candace:mean like every single topic we've done is probably because we have a dissenting view from the typical population, even amongst some Christians. And it's like, how have we arrived at such a different place?
Nikki:Yeah.
Amy:Yeah. Well, some things, so here's my theory. Some things are right and wrong. We've talked about that. Some people, some people have not arrived to the right conclusion. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's someone else. That's just a fact, right? People haven't heard literally opposite things from God. It's just that someone's arrived to the wrong conclusion about something and I am am anxious to know what it is for me. I can't wait for that list. When I get to heaven, God's like, here's all the ways that you were so wrong. Hopefully I've arrived at some good conclusion. But then, you know, there, obviously there's all the gray, oh, there's all the stuff that's just like, not right or wrong, it's just d. But I know when I'm trying to discern what the Lord's saying, a lot of times I, I actually know the answer and I have to,
Candace:Hmm.
Amy:be introspective about my motives.
Candace:ooh.
Nikki:That's
Amy:you know what I mean? And it's like the minute I'm able to discern what my actual motives are, my, in my heart of hearts, if I was really being honest with myself, And once I've determined that is when I, it's like you hear the thing that you've been hearing, like the the thing God's been trying to tell you, but you couldn't hear it before because you weren't being honest. You weren't being honest with yourself. That's one way I hear God, I think.
Nikki:that's
Candace:That felt very true. I mean, it's,
Amy:That's, it's painful though sometimes to recognize your actual motives
Candace:It's like the mirror in the never ending story when a tray you has to look at himself and like be faced with like your true self And I, I feel like that's really true. I think you're right. Most of the time we know the right path. I think where it can get confusing is that we lie to ourselves too. Um, and we can trick ourselves into thinking the motives. I'm the Lord. Speak clearly. I'm gonna sit here and listen.
Nikki:Jesus. Uh
Candace:man. So what about, when you guys got married, did you guys feel like you heard God's voice? Like, was that a, a audible voice decision for you?
Nikki:No, not at all. Nikki, I feel very similar to what you were explaining. I remember thinking, and I would attribute this to this fake idea that love is supposed to be a fairytale. Because I remember thinking like, well, this is not perfect. This is not like magical love. This is just. We're two people , and it was extra complicated for me because I was a mom. Um, so that was another layer of complication, but yeah, it wasn't right. I can see how we don't. were not compatible in some ways, but then other ways, yeah, it wasn't a perfect match. But now that I have been married for almost 15 years and I, it's, it makes sense to me why I struggled through it and it makes perfect sense because there's no such thing as a perfect match. You know what I'm saying? So it makes sense why that was a struggle,
Candace:no soulmate. Did you ever pray about it and did you feel like God said yes or no or, and did you end up having to come to your own conclusion
Nikki:Oh yeah, I
Candace:guess we're gonna get married., love you, Dawn.
Nikki:definitely
Candace:listening to our podcast
Nikki:I definitely prayed of course, yes. I prayed a lot. I mean, I prayed even when we started dating, cuz again, I was a mom and I wasn't looking to just date around. I was looking to get married and I was looking for a godly man and he was very like, he loved the Lord so much. So I was praying a lot through the whole thing. But I never got a clear, no, this isn't it, or yes, this is it. There was never a clear . No, it was never clear. It was a choice that we both made, and now we're in it forever. If you're listening,
Candace:you, Amy? Forever.
Amy:Forever. Dawn
Candace:Forever. You better listen to this one. I'm sending you the link. That was Nikki
Amy:amazing. I didn't really, so Chad and I were long distance, a lot of our relationship, so we went through a lot of you know, Ups and downs and figuring out how to communicate. And we almost broke up at one point. So because we had been through like kind of the hard communicative stuff, by the time we were talking about getting married, I, there was just no question, like, it wasn't something I prayed through a lot, to be honest, because I, I don't know. I was just like, we're doing this thing, this is happening. But I was also fully aware, I, I mentioned this, I remember. On a podcast that we had to scratch. So I'm gonna do it now
Candace:Oh, yay,
Amy:Okay. So, um, if you guys have ever seen the time Traveler's wife. Okay. Time Traveler's wife. She meets this man in person. He, I guess he meets her for the first time, like when he's sort of a young buck and he's like so in his oats and he's just kind of, he's a mess. But he really likes. But she had seen him as an older version of himself as a kid. So she like grew up falling in love with him. He met her midlife and then like time traveled and met her when she was younger as they were in their relationship. And it took her some time to come to terms with the fact that the person that she fell in love with wasn't there yet. Like he wasn't who he was becoming.
Nikki:Mm-hmm.
Amy:and so she went through with it anyway, you know, she fell in love with him and got married and, and just sort of waited for him to turn into this person that she had fallen in love with. And I think I had some of those kind of like realizations in dating. It was like, I know that were both young and dumb and I see who you could become and I love who you are now, but I don't know. Like you just know that the person they're going to
Candace:wine and it's gonna get better. with eight.
Amy:totally, yeah, Not to say that he wasn't incredible when we got together, but I don't know, as opposed to being like afraid or like being in this place where I wasn't sure if this was perfect or I'm like, no, it's definitely not perfect, but it will become more better of time. I don't know. I think
Nikki:was very wise
Candace:interesting. Yeah. It was wise of you.
Nikki:My mom told me at a very young age, love is a decision and not a feeling. And so I think that's how I handled a lot of my.
Amy:yeah.
Nikki:Dating and Right. Finding my husband, I was very aware of, I don't trust that, like lovey dovey feeling. It's not a, it's not real
Amy:Mm-hmm.
Candace:I find it really interesting that we kind of approach this different ways, especially as Christians. I don't know. I find it fascinating that you and I, Candace both prayed, didn't get an answer, but went through with it and I actually was shocked. I thought I knew, I thought, Amy, that you were going to say that you prayed and God said, this is the one I have for you. So I'm actually like, I'm actually
Amy:No.
Candace:I'm like so shocked
Nikki:I mean, it's a big decision, but at the end of the day, if I don't know, it's still your choice. Right? And God can honor whatever choice it is. I don't.
Amy:I feel that way super strongly about marriage because it we're not like we are designed to be married. I mean, obviously, but. I was just listening to, um, oh, was it on the She Reads truth. It's always from the She Truth podcast. It's not on purpose. She wasn't even my favorite guest, but she was talking about how she wasn't, she was real. She talked really fast in a lot and it was just hard to follow her. But, um, she had good stuff to say. Anyway, the point being, She mentioned she was gonna get married to someone. Um, and then they right at the end broke it off and he ended up marrying someone else and she never got married. And so she just has all this time for all this ministry stuff. And she was just saying like, you know, I never got married, so like I don't have to get the kids out the door, all this stuff. I can do all these things. And I don't know, you hear about people like that and it's so beautiful,, and I just think that marriage is such a. I mean, in America we make it out to be this like weird fantasy thing. And then in other countries, you know, some other countries, it's still arranged and it's still more of a
Nikki:Mm-hmm.
Amy:contract. Yeah, bringing families together for strengthening the family type of deal. But even in those, you hear the most beautiful stories of
Nikki:Mm. True.
Amy:you know, choosing each other cuz love's a choice.
Nikki:Yeah.
Amy:choosing to fall in love. Yeah. Yeah. There's just so many ways marriage is lived out that I think is really God honoring.
Nikki:yeah. I agree.
Amy:and about it in this
Nikki:I
Candace:So then okay, so for, that's what we, how we discern God's voice in marriage. What about when you guys went to buy houses? I'm just so curious, like what are the moment, what like are, are you guys asking every day God, like I have started saying Lord, in my day, put people in my path that I can minister to, but that's not necessarily discerning God's voice. It's knowing that his word tells me his will for my life, and therefore I'm asking him to give me. The opportunity to walk out the calling. Right.
Nikki:I often pray in in the morning when I'm having my quiet time, like, God, help me to be aware of opportunities where you can use me for your glory. Cuz I think often it's a missed opportunity because we're too distracted or too busy. So I, I often pray like, Lord, just help me to be aware that if an opportunity comes my way, a person comes my way, whatever, that I would see it, that would recognize it and that you would use me for your glory. Um, but to answer your question about the house is honestly, We are li we're living in our fourth
Candace:Coffin home
Nikki:No, I can't even, I can't talk about this. this. is our, our fourth home that we have bought. So we've bought and sold three other times and. All those times. I only remember praying through it once. And the reason being, we were desperate. We had gotten to a place where we had sold the hou, the previous home we had lived in really quickly because the market was totally different back then. And how, and. It was a blessing. We sold for a lot and we had money to spend on the new house, but we could not find a house. So it was stressful. And that's when you know, you're desperate and you're praying like, God, I need, like, we need your help. Please bring us the right house. You know? But besides that, no, I, I will say quite honestly, I don't ever recall. Praying through, is this the house? I think maybe a prayer of blessing, like, okay, God, let this be a beautiful home for us after we've already like pulled the trigger
Candace:Hmm.
Nikki:But I don't remember praying for like his divine guidance in that. Not usually.
Candace:And I, Amy, I know you guys were pretty much told by God where to move, right? I want to, or remind me of
Amy:Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, the only two houses we ever bought, the first house we ever had when we first got married, and that was like, uh, this is as good a spot of any, I don't know, this town, and we can fix this house up. And it's close to where we both work. You know, it was just very logical, um, kind of decision. And then, well, yeah, with this house I, what happened is I got.. And so we're like, crap, our house is not big enough. We better start looking for houses. And then I had a miscarriage, but we were still, we were like, I'd already started the process. And we both just were like, well, I don't know. Let's just see what's out there. And like, yeah, it wasn't like two days we had signed and were putting our house under, to be sold, which was like a really crazy thing. But it wasn't entirely, it was The whole thing was
Candace:total God thing. Yeah.
Amy:A hundred percent. And it wasn't even, I, I've, I'm really careful particularly about, I really like shopping and I really like stuff, and I'm very materialistic. That's just true. I'm a, I'm a huge consumer. Like the rate at which I throw trash away is embarrassing. Right? Like, I'm like, how did my trash get so full? How much have I consumed of like products and food and whatever? So it really bothers me. So when it comes to really big, yeah, same. So when it comes to really big purchases like cars and homes, I sort of made like a pact with myself. That even though these are fun things, that I was just gonna be someone who chose the smaller house. I was gonna be someone who chose the car until it broke down. Because I have such a bad habits, like on a day-to-day basis that I'm trying to curb that these were big considered decisions I could curb easily because they're so big. You know, like the decision's such a dis considered one you can take time to be like, that's a terrible idea. So even with the house we have now, it was twice the size I was looking for. There was nothing about this house. Uh, that I wanted. I just wanted another rambler, honestly, with an extra house room. Like I was like, just slightly larger than what we had. Yeah. And God had other ideas and it's been a huge blessing. But, That's why I approach houses. Having said that, like I have an amazing kitchen, I. and it blesses me every day. So I understand fully wanting to enjoy the space you're in and like when you're in your house all day, it's where you work and it's where you're raising your kids. It's, yeah, it's a huge blessing to be in a neighborhood you love with neighbors you love and enjoy kitchen cooking in the kitchen. Like all those things are, I don't know. I
Candace:They're good things. They're good
Amy:Yeah. Yeah.
Candace:I feel like the moral I'm coming away with from this conversation is that w. We discerning the voice of God is just really being in relationship. Just keep, keep him in the loop.. Just keep talking like, all right Lord, and then he's with you in it. Right? I feel Like and reading your Bible it's so funny though, but I've found myself this week. I've been reading through the Psalms., even though we did that a while ago with the shoots, I just love it. I started and I've been reading through it cuz we've watched David and then I took the kids to see David again and the songs are so full of the, the lyrics. So I just love it and I've been reading it and then like every day I've been like, I was in like Psalm 21 and then 22 and then 23 and so many of them are like, grant your servant, his requests. Like David asked all the time for blessings from the Lord. And I was like, so is it okay to ask you for blessings? Like, or is this in context of your anointed one in the Old Testament
Nikki:I think I, I, I think, I don't know, as far as big decisions, like marriage is a huge decision. Buying a house is a huge decision. I would say yes, Amy buying a car is a huge decision. You know, praying God, if there's a clear, like, this is where you want me, please show me. Please guide me and direct me. But if there's not, yeah, Nikki, I think just living in relationship and trusting he's going with you,. You know, he's with you always. So bre just praying like, okay, Lord, this is the house we want. And unless you're gonna give me a clear, no, I'm gonna pray that you bless it. That you help us create like a spirit-filled home here. You know,
Candace:Mm-hmm.
Nikki:he's gonna always have like a big, this is it, but that's just me.
Candace:good. That's
Amy:Priscilla sure has a thing about how she. You go boldly. She says, you go boldly and you ask boldly cuz the Bible says you can, but then also don't put God in a box. And so she said, I learned to pray. I learned to pray. God, do this thing or something better.
Candace:love
Amy:this or
Candace:better not worse.
Amy:Yeah, Well and better meaning. Better in, in your knowledge of what is needed. Right. So like if better means I don't get the thing I wanted. But Then
Nikki:Then
Amy:I, realized I, that would've been terrible if I'd had it right. Like that's still better. But yeah, I think it's a good way to pray. I love that.
Nikki:I love that too.
Candace:I,
Amy:I, love
Candace:and I think we've talked about that before too, where God has like maybe not done what you prayed for, but then you found, I, I can't remember, but I feel like that was a theme of one of our podcasts where
Amy:This just happened to me.
Candace:mm Oh, please tell me
Amy:it was on something real kind of dumb to be honest. But I, when we went to tour, Christian School. There was a particular preschool teacher I really wanted for the girls and yes, very expensive. Um, and they were, there's two of them for pre-K three, and there was just one I wanted. She was just really nice. And she connected with the girls well, she didn't get that wouldn't, they didn't get that teacher. And I was a little bummed, but I'm like, whatever, move on. And so I hadn't been thinking about it, but someone was just sharing with me, her daughter got in mid-year and the experiences she's having related to allergy. Her kids. Hi kid has a ton of allergies and this teacher's very not sympathetic to kids with allergies. She's not communicative and so her child just misses out all the time, like she has to sit there and not eat the cupcake when literally everyone else has cupcakes. That kind of stuff.
Nikki:Aw.
Amy:And
Candace:knew better.
Amy:I know, and it's such a small thing, but I. I. remember the one time the teacher forgot to email me and I cried because my children had to be left out. And when you're four, that just sucks
Nikki:yeah.
Amy:And other than that, she's been very communicative and worked with me really great and made sure the girls always had something that they could be excited about. And so it's like the little stuff, you know what I
Nikki:I was gonna say, that's
Amy:it's a good reminder that God is paying attention. Yeah, he
Nikki:God is good.
Candace:I was gonna say, uh, one more way that I feel like maybe not, I discern God's voice, but I feel God's presence is in nature. I don't know if it's like
Nikki:Oh yeah.
Candace:When I'm walking, like we have, this has been a blessing. Even though our neighborhood's like been a little bit tough, we, because it's like a tough spot. Nobody uses the walking trails. We have a mile of like walking trails in the woods and it's like my own personal forest. And I got a dog and I walk with the dog every single day in my own personal forest and nobody runs into me and the dog's off leash. And
Nikki:Aw.
Candace:it is magical and The light comes through the trees and the sun warms my face and the, the wind rustles through the leaves. And I will say like, I feel so near, I feel God so near, um, when I'm in his creation. So like, not necessarily hearing him, but feeling a sense of belovedness, feeling a sense of belonging, uh, closeness with God, um, when you don't have anything to worry about and you're out there. And so I don't know.
Nikki:no, I think there's lots of ways God's talked to us and I know we've talked for a while so I don't wanna like keep going and going, but I was gonna bring this up earlier and I'll just drop it and we can just let it go. I think he sometimes talks to us in dreams. I know he talks to us in Dreams,
Candace:I forgot to talk about that. That was good. Candy Rose.
Nikki:yeah. Little nugget
Candace:You're right. That's how I got Eliana's name. I forgot about that,
Amy:Aw. Well, and other people,
Candace:Yeah. Oh
Amy:I mean, a lot of times I hear things from other people that's like, confirms what it is I thought, you know?
Candace:That's
Amy:And then you're like, oh, sweet. Yeah, that's
Nikki:Yes, definitely.
Amy:And then you have the random times. People come up to you and tell you things that you're like, Was not privy to this I'll have to do some prayer. You know what I'm talking about? Like I've had multiple people come up to me and tell me visions they've had about me, and I'm like, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.
Candace:sometimes it could be bad pizza. Sometimes. Like just take it or leave it.
Amy:sometimes, it's bazaar O 10, but sometimes you know when four people come up and say, tell you the same
Candace:Then, you know.
Amy:like, cool,
Nikki:Should pray
Amy:why He chose, why didn't he tell me? I don't know.
Candace:I know another one. We were all, I know another one, just an impression. Even like remember we were all out in a girl's night and then there was a gentleman sitting at the bar next to us and we, we were like hardcore at first trying to ignore him. He tried to make some conversation. We're like, nah, we're on a girl's night. Like we are not trying to chat up anyone at a bar where four moms trying to not be with our kids for one night. No kids, no husbands, no men, and. But like, man, I, like, I turned, I think I turned to Amy and I was like, man, we're supposed to talk to him. Dang
Amy:Mm-hmm.. Mm-hmm.
Candace:And then, you know, once you're obedient, you feel the peace and the joy of the Holy Spirit. And we did get to pray for him and hear his story. And now we're connected and I still praying in Jesus name that he would come be, be one of God's kids. So, Yeah, impressions. I guess what I do hear from like, it just seems like the things I want him to say, yes, go thou, therefore, not so much ,but the kingdom stuff,
Nikki:Yeah. Yeah. You're hearing from him, you're just wanting right now a very specific word and it's not coming.
Candace:Yeah, no eight. There's no magic eight ball in the
Nikki:No
Candace:Should I buy the house? And then you open the Bible and put your finger down on the passage and it's like, Jesus wept. No, Lord, don't cry over another. They stayed in the desert for 40 years. No
Nikki:Oh my gosh.
Amy:I will say we, we should probably wrap up, but Nikki, just as a fyi, I would describe you as someone, and I just was the other day describing you as someone who's extremely connected to the Holy Spirit and who can like, like the, the veil is thin for you.
Candace:Thank you, Fred.
Amy:That's always been true. Not even just, that's definitely true during worship, like leading worship with you, but that's true. Just all the time. The reason that you noticed that guy is cuz the veil was thin for you and you were like, holy was talking to you. So that is how I see you. That's the, that's what's true.
Nikki:That's good.
Candace:very precious. I'm gonna hold onto that. I'm gonna put it in my
Nikki:That's some good truth. Yeah. Write that down You're not gonna hate us cuz we're awesome You're gonna love us.
Amy:You're gonna love us Bye guys.
Candace:Bye.