Intro: You are listening to Supporting Supporters, a ChangetoChill podcast. This is a free mental well-being resource offered by Allina Health. My name is Tonya Freeman. I’m a licensed psychologist and regional lead psychologist with Allina Health.   

These podcast episodes are aimed with the goal of providing quick, tangible resources and information from Allina Health mental health providers on a range of mental health topics relevant to day to day lives of the listener. We invite you to join us in any way you please, whether you sit back and kick your feet up, or as you engage in movement, your daily commute, or as you prepare for your day. However you choose to join us, we welcome you and we honor your time. 

Episode: Hello.  As Dr. Miller just shared with you, my name is Sarah Paper and I’m a Licensed Psychologist with Allina Health.  I work mostly with children and adolescents.  I am also the parent of a 10th grader, 7th grader, and 3rd grader. So  As you can imagine, the topic of bullying is something I address in the office, and if I’m being honest, there are times I get a front seat to it in my home.  My hope is that those facts are experienced as evidence of my expertise versus casting doubt on the efficacy of this episode.   

Bullying behavior is a serious problem with short and long term effects on all individuals involved, including the bystanders.  Bullying is defined as repeated intentional acts of aggression, which include an imbalance of power and are directed toward an individual or group of individuals who are not able to easily defend themselves.   

I do think there are times when people use the term bullying very loosely, and that might include more teasing, or what people might consider inappropriate jokes. If we have the definition of bullying be too broad to include those things, we run a risk of underreacting when bullying is reported. Because those teasing or playful or inappropriate jokes are going to happen more often than actual bullying. If we use the term to include those things, then we might not respond the way we should when it actually is serious. I think it’s important to be clear with kids and help them understand what is and isn't bullying. I don’t think those other experiences shouldn’t be addressed, and students shouldn’t be helped to improve on those behaviors, but rather keep the bullying as bullying  

When someone is being bullied, they can feel insecure and in a constant state of vigilance.  The individual's mind is likely to be preoccupied with how to avoid, escape, or prevent the bullying.  He/She may be reluctant to participate in activities or develop friendships.  This can stunt their development.  There can also be physical consequences of bullying.  There may be physical injuries, headaches, bedwetting, sleep disturbance, appetite suppression, and stomachaches. Many other somatic symptoms may be present as well. Research completed in 2015 by Baldwin and colleagues found that children who had experienced chronic bullying showed higher levels of body fat and were at greater risk for being overweight and compared to their nonbullied counterparts.  In 2011 Knack and colleagues completed research with outcomes suggesting individuals who were bullied had changes that could increase their sensitivity to pain responses.   

Research suggests that there are children and adolescents who bully others because they have some form of maladjustment or are motivated by establishing their status in their social network.  The stereotype of a bully is often somebody who has high degrees of psychopathology, low social skills, and an in general lacking socially appealing assets and characteristics.  Research however suggests that children used to bully others have considerable power within their peer network and that these popular perpetrators tend to demonstrate keeping social skills and may be seen as leaders in the group.  They may be described as attractive and athletic. Research shows that there are different kids of bullying, do not rule out a kid as being a bully just because they are socially appealing or are socially successful. Students who engage in bullying may also experience psychosomatic problems, more so than their uninvolved peers.  Individuals who have been found to struggle the most in terms of bullying are those 2 have been both perpetrators and targets of bullying.  In 2015 Holt and colleagues completed a multilevel meta analysis of cross-sectional longitudinal studies in the United States and found a significant association between bullying perpetration and suicidal ideation.  The association with suicidal ideation was stronger among those who were both perpetrators and targets of bullying incidents.  It’s Important to note that these findings were consistent with other studies.  There has even been research discovering brain differences in children with a tendency to bully others. Between bullying and suicidal ideation ,it's really important to consider, given that suicide is one of the leading causes of death among young people. If we can get a better handle on bullying, we can reduce or potentially lower deaths among adolescents.  

What to do:  

The good news is that there are proven and encouraging prevention and intervention strategies for bullying. The bad news is, some of the common responses have been proven to not work and may magnify the problems.   

Many schools have zero tolerance policies with consequences including suspensions and expulsions. This may sound good, we hear that and we think 0 tolerance means 0 bullying. In reality, first the bullying needs to be reported.  Research suggests that many students are reluctant to report bullying, some speculate that the threat of suspension or expulsion may be a factor contributing to that reluctance.  Meaning that the student may not want to come foreword because the punishment would be more than they think is warranted, so kids are waiting until its really bad or too late.   

Additionally, bullying is often an early sign of other behavior problems like truancy, fighting, theft, and vandalism.  There are times when suspension and expulsion are necessary but it really should not be standard prevention/intervention practice.    

Another less than effective approach—conflict resolution or peer mediation.  Bullying is not a conflict that needs to be talked out and resolved.  It is a form of victimization.  There should not be any responsibility or expectations placed on the victims of bullying to help resolve to.  These types of meetings are embarrassing and very intimidating for the student who has been the victim of bullying. A message needs to be sent to the victim that we as a school, as adults are going to stop this from happening. A message needs to be sent to the bully that you cannot do this, and we were going to help you, so you don’t.   

Some schools use group therapy to address bullying behavior with therapy designed to teach the children in group anger management, empathy building, and improving self-esteem.  This intervention can also make the situation worse.  There is the potential for group members to be role models for each other, only reinforcing the target behaviors.   

Lets talk about what works. I found a really nice article by Barbra ?. The book is titled the bullied, the bully and the bystander. Bullying is not about anger, or conflict its about contempt. The powerful feeling of dislike towards someone considered to be worthless, inferior or not deserving of respect. Contempt comes with 3 psychological advantages that allow kids to harm others without feeling empathy or compassion. Those advantages are entitlement, the ability to dominate and abuse others, and the liberty to exclude. Barbra talks about the 7 steps to stop bullying which include discipline, creating opportunity to do good, nurturing empathy, teaching friendship skills, modifying screen time, teaching ways to will good. As far as  

1 thing that has worked for me in group therapy settings and milieu work has been when any bullying is taking place, stopping all other activities and directly addressing and discussing the behavior. It is important to have a conversation at a later time with the one doing the bullying about why they are partaking in this behavior, and how their behavior may impact other people. An important question to ask is if the individual bullying has ever felt that way? This is to help them feel compassion and connection with victim. Its important ot discover what the person whose bullying may be missing in their life and how we can get them a sense of power that doesn’t include aggression or intimidating others. Keeping a closer eye on them will  give you an opportunity to be a role model. Giving kids who are bullying some kind of adult they can look up to and spend time with can reduce bullying behaviors and tendencies. One thing Ive learned from improve is “yes and”. Having worked a lot with adolescents I've  had to use this myself and found it effective. I also recommend it to people who are being bullied. If someone says “Oh my God your clothes are so stupid” be like “yeah I know but they look so good on me” or something playful.   This sends a message that nothing is more important than a safe environment for learning. Another thing I've learned that affective is being honest. If someone says “your clothes are really ugly” Maybe say “I know, I wish mine were as nice as yours”. You see how that can help encourage perspective taking and empathy building and makes a kid feel uncomfortable, vs fighting back which makes the other kid feel aggressive. Now for the bystanders of friends, the recommendation I often give kids is not to fight   that bully, but rather focus on what that friend or classmate needs. We often need someone to see, hear and support us. Having that other person there (a friend) who can be there for them and see them differently, so that they know not everyone's going to treat them this way.    

Hopefully this podcast has been helpful, the podcast of bullying is a pretty lofty one, I hope I covered it enough to make it worth your time. You all are very busy and have a lot of students to care for, thank you so much for the work you do.   

Outro: On behalf of Allina Health and Change to Chill, we thank you for taking the time to listen to our podcast. We do hope you enjoyed this episode and we hope that you join us in other episodes covering even more interesting topics with mental health providers. As always, you can find the show notes and any accompanying research and tools at the change to chill website at www.changetochill.org. In health and wellness, take care and see you next time!