Unforgiveness Is A Trap, Forgiveness Is Freedom

Unforgiveness rarely announces itself as “bitterness”. It shows up as replaying the hurt in the shower, losing sleep on the drive home, avoiding someone’s name, or quietly hoping they get what you think they deserve. We go straight at that inner war and ask a simple question with big consequences: what is unforgiveness doing to your mind, your peace, and your walk with God? 

We ground the conversation in Scripture, especially Matthew 6:14–15, and define forgiveness in a clear, biblical way: to release, to let go, to cancel a debt. That does not mean excusing sin, approving harm, or pretending nothing happened. We also separate forgiveness from instant reconciliation, because trust is built over time. Along the way we unpack offence as a “scandalon” trap that can snare your prayers, distort your perceptions, and keep you bound emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. 

Then we get practical. We name the signs that you have not truly forgiven, and we share steps you can take today: acknowledge the hurt honestly, pray for the offender, verbally release them, stop rehearsing the offence, and ask the Holy Spirit for help where you cannot. We also talk about repeated offenders and healthy boundaries, plus why Jesus forgiving on the cross becomes our model even when the pain is real. Two powerful stories bring it all home, showing how forgiveness can free the wounded and even change the one who caused the wound. 

If you want Christian teaching on forgiveness, healing from bitterness, and setting boundaries without losing love, press play. Subscribe, share with someone who needs freedom, and leave a review with the hardest part of forgiving for you.

Transcript

Welcome And Great Commission

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Kingdom Podcast with Brother Independent. Verses 15 through 16. Go into all the world and bring the gospel to every creature. He who believes and is not done will be condemned. But he who does not believe will be condemned. Christ Ambassador is reaching everywhere. It's to spread the gospel of Christ to all. So feel free to download each episode and share with as many people as you can. My name is Jordan. So we must do our part for Jesus before time runs out.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Welcome to Christ Ambassadors Reaching Everywhere podcast. This is your host, Brother Chinde Chinder, and I'm excited to have this conversation that God has laid in my heart to discuss. And it's going to be something that we're all familiar with. And it's something that I believe if we want to see the Lord, if we want to experience higher level or different dimensions of who God is, then we must allow this to become normal in our lives.

Unforgiveness As A Hidden Wound

SPEAKER_02 1:19

I'll be talking about unforgiveness. And I'll be talking about forgiveness. Because unforgiveness is not a personal weakness. It's not something you say, it's my personality. It is a sign that you've been wounded. And as long as you leave this unforgiveness in your life without addressing it, leave it untreated, it will affect your mind. Which will hinder you from accessing help, support, grace, favor from God. But we don't need to remain with there because there is hope in the power of forgiveness. So today we're going to dive into what I believe we have to let go of whatever it is and heal so that we can walk confidently free in the Lord. Some forgiveness is not about willpower. It's not because I have this courage, it's because of the power of the cross, because of what Christ had done in you. So I will be discussing the power of forgiveness, letting go and let God aim to heal you. Before I go into that, a bit more, can we just have a word of prayer? Lord, we enter this moment humbled by your mercy, humbled by what Jesus has done on the cross. Teach us what is truly important in your heart. Teach us to understand that forgiveness is part of what we should practice. Help us to forgive others because you forgive us. Let every war in our hearts break under the power of your word and the power of what Christ had already done. There are people here or listening that may be battling with unforgiveness right now because their soul is wounded, because they've been so hot and sometimes it's repetitive. I pray that the spirit of truth, I pray that the spirit of Christ will bring total liberation, freedom in their heart so they can fully embrace the full meaning of what forgiveness is all about. Help us to understand and help us to allow this conversation to really stay our faith and give us the strength to forgive freely. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Forgiveness Defined By Scripture

SPEAKER_02 4:02

In Matthew chapter 6, 14 and 15, the Bible said, If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses. The word forgive in Greek means affirming, meaning to release, to let go, to cancel a debt. It does not mean excusing the evil, it means refusing to hold someone hostage. The opposite of this is unforgiveness. That means you are bound in a situation that you cannot freely release anyone. He didn't say it's nice to forgive. He said, if you don't forgive, you won't be forgiven. Let us think. And if you listen to that statement literally, it is not a suggestion, it is a kingdom command. Now remember, kingdom citizens are people that follow the kingdom principles, the kingdom mandate, and also obey the kingdom command by the kingdom giver.

Why Offence Happens So Easily

SPEAKER_02 5:27

So why do we get offended? What's the genesis of offense? How do we get to the point where somebody has so much hurt us? And it's so painful, it's so uncomfortable that it really troubles our psychology, troubled our mentality, trouble our spiritual life, trouble every aspect of our lives. Emotionally, we are really bound. So how did we get to this point that offenses are realities today? The very first offense occurred in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve disobeyed God in Genesis chapter 3. Now, offenses began when man rejected the truth. They chose self and they allowed pride to lead. There was a clear instruction that the Lord gave to them that they should not follow this path. It was very clear. Unfortunately, they did not understand the seriousness of what the Lord was saying, and they disobeyed. They went against clear instruction not to do this. All offense is rooted in either of these things I've mentioned. It's rooted in either pride, it's rooted in either pain, or it's rooted in perception. And the Bible said, Only by pride cometh contention. In Proverbs chapter 13, verse 10. So, why do we offend others? I'll give you a couple of reasons. One, because we are broken ourselves, because hurt people hurt people. The Bible said in Jeremiah 17, verse 9, the heart is deceitful above all things. So we are in a state that gives us the unfortunate liberty to hold things in our heart, in our mind against people. Because we operate in the flesh, not in the spirit. That's another reason. You know, Galatians 5, 19, 21 was very clear. He said, Now the works of the flesh. Now, if you go and read that very well, it starts telling you hatred, wrath, strife, this and that. These are evidences of people that are not in the spirit. So the flesh constantly war against the spirit, making us unfortunately sometimes to start being under something that could have naturally overcome if we were in the spirit. Three, because we take offense quickly. So we live in a culture that glorifies offense and cancels love. T to tat. The way you've done to me, that's how I'm gonna do back to you. So if you don't pay good to me, I'll pay evil back to you. Sometimes it's because of unmet expectations and assumptions. We expect somebody's gonna do this, and because that never happened, then we begin to presume certain things, and then we begin to feel offended. And sometimes it's because of lack of self-control and emotional maturity. And because we're angry, we can do things, we can say things, and sometimes again, it's because Satan exploits unguided hearts. You know, I love the fact the Bible said in 2 Corinthians 2, verse 11, it's a lest Satan should get an advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices. So sometimes Satan explores our hearts that is not fully yielded and fully committed, and as a result of that, we fall victim of his strategies and plan. So offense is inevitable. Right? But how we respond determines whether we grow in bitterness or we get better in forgiveness. I cannot tell you that for a whole year you will not be disappointed in one way or the other, or you will not be offended. And these offenses might come from your spouse, it might come from your children, it might come from your religious leader, it might come from people at work, your siblings, it might come from different places, it can even come from comments online. You can also offend other people. I want you to understand that this conversation, let's be practical, let's be real, and let's take it one step at a time and allow God to walk in our heart. Because if you are going to be a Christ ambassador, if you are going to share the gospel, and gospel is all about what Jesus came. God made us, we rejected him, we fell, and God sent his son because of love to come and save us. He came, he died, he was buried, he rose again so that we can have reconciliation back to God and have the opportunity to spend eternity with him. So this is God's plan, this is God's will. So if you're someone that's going to share the gospel and you have unforgiveness, what you're going to do is to allow God to forgive other people of how they have hurt him by their lifestyle, by their behavior, and by the choices they make every day. And we know the genesis for all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. So you cannot be an effective minister, an effective soul winner, an effective preacher of the gospel of Christ if you have unforgiveness. This is very important, otherwise, it just makes everything difficult, isn't it? So we need to be clear about that.

What Forgiveness Is Not

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Several things forgiveness is not. I want to just be very clear here. Forgiveness is not forgetting. God does not forget, he chooses not to hold it against us. If you look at Isaiah 43, verse 25, forgiveness is not excusing or approving the evil or the sin. Number two, Jesus forgave that woman caught in adultery. But what did Jesus say in John chapter 8, verse 11? He said, Go and sin no more. So he was not justifying or trying to excuse what was done. When they came and they said, We caught her in the very act, she was committing sin. But even when Jesus responded, Christ is not promote or excuse and say, Now they have caught you first time, be careful so that they don't catch you again. He said, Go and sin no more. So number one, forgiveness is not forgetting. Number two, forgiveness is not excusing or approving the sin. Number three, forgiveness is not reconciliation that is instant. You can forgive someone. Reconciliation is all about trust. Forgiveness is a heart decision. So when you fully forgive someone, the fact that forgiving someone does not mean that instantly everything just comes back to exact normal on how it was before. Are you getting what I'm saying? You're not holding anything against the person, you are not putting the person in a very difficult place. You are free, but as a result of some certain things that have happened, you will do whatever you can to ensure those things does not repeat itself again. It has to be clear. When you forgive, when you let go of people, or what the heart they've had on you and the pain they've created, or possibly the perception you had about them, when that is truly done from your heart, obviously, forgiveness is part of reconciliation. Are you getting what I'm saying? However, at times it may not be 100% instant. Do you understand what I'm saying? Because it could be a process of certain things that needs to happen. There are times that it could be instant, but there are certain things that happened that it needs to take some time to understand, to observe, and just get the whole thing out of the way. Forgiveness is not weakness, it takes strength under surrender to actually forgive. Number five, forgiveness is not a one-time event for deep wounds, it's a process. Repentance needs to follow. Forgiveness is not denying the pain, but rather it is choosing healing over hatred. But since I've spoken about what forgiveness is not, let's see what is actually forgiveness. Number one, it's a heart posture, not just an emotional state. It's releasing the offender to God's justice, it's canceling the emotional debt they owe you because of their actions and behavior, it's choosing mercy even when revenge is justified and practicable. In Ephesians 4, verse 32, the Bible says, Be ye kind one to another, tender-hearted, forgive one another, even as God for Christ's sake had forgiven you.

Offence As A Trap For You

SPEAKER_02 14:44

So, what is offense in the Bible? The Greek word is scandalon, and the root of that English word is scandal, meaning a trap, a snare, a stumbling block. So, offense is a trap, it's a trap to hold you ransom emotionally, financially, mentally, spiritually, physically, it's a snare to draw you in and to hold you bound, it's a stumbling block to your prayers being answered. Scandelon originally referred to the trigger of a trap. So something that causes someone to stumble or fall. So understand that every time offenses arise, every time there is something rising within you to hold someone down, to keep them, just understand that it's a trap, it's a snail. It could be directly or indirectly, known and unknown. But you need to be careful because it's about to trigger a trap to hold you back from favor, from mercy, from breakthrough, from supplies, from abundance, from peace. That's what Jesus said in Luke 17, verse 1. He said, It is possible but that offenses, you see, scandala will come. So you can see now that offense isn't just being hot, it is being ensnared, ensnared in that hut. I mean, if you're listening to me, you have been hot before, right? And you hold on to this unforgiveness against your father, against your mother, your brother, your sister, your colleagues, your friends, your children, your husband, your spouse, your wife, your manager, your colleagues, someone on the street, a stranger, an employee, doesn't matter the source. Understand that the trap here is for you to be ensnared in that hut. You begin to ruminate, you begin to think, you begin to check a lot of things, and as a result of that, you are bound there. So the enemy uses offenses to trap you into bitterness, into isolation, into pride, and into rebellion. Offenses is very bad, very dangerous. Now, that was the word in Greek, scantelum. Now, what about in Hebrew? It means in Hebrew is mixture, means a stumbling block, an obstacle, and a cause of reason. In Leviticus and Psalms, it is referred to moral failure, it's a sin or spiritual hindrance. I love the way the Bible puts this in Leviticus 19, verse 14. It says, not put a stumbling block before the blind. So understand that offense is actually a trap to hold you back. And if you think about it, when you are offended, when you are in that state, if you understand what I'm saying, it's quite difficult for you to fully be yourself. You sometimes you can't sleep, you're mentally imagining a lot of things. The perceptions, your understanding, your assumptions, your expectations, a lot of things will begin to happen to you. And this is why we need to be careful. So, what is unforgiveness in the Bible? There is no exact word for unforgiveness in biblical Greek or Hebrew, because it is described by what it lacks. The Greek word for forgiveness is ephesis, meaning to release, to let go, to cancel a debt, to send away. So the verb there means to release from legal or moral obligation. Something must be given where forgiveness happened. In Luke 4, verse 8, Jesus said to preach deliverance to the captives. That word deliverance is effes, is to release, to deliver. So forgive us our debts. Unforgiveness in this context, summarily, is to retain, is to hold on to someone's offense, no matter what. Unforgiveness is a refusal to release both them and yourself. So think about anytime you are holding on to an offense, you're holding on to unforgiveness. There are two people that are trapped: the person that offended you, and you yourself that is refusing to release. Forgiveness in Hebrew is celestial, it means pardon. So God wants you to pardon, just like He pardoned you. And when you are forgiven, God wants you to do the same for another person. In Psalm 130, verse 4, he said, But there is forgiveness. What it means, there is celestial with you that you may be feared. Now he now said, All forgiveness now is the refusal to extend what God has already extended, which is mercy and pardon to you. Remember, we are talking from a spiritual contest, we're talking from a biblical Christian contest, we are talking from a Bible word of God contest. We're not bringing any other thing outside this. So if you're a Christian and you follow Christ and you want to be a preacher, you want to live a life that is unique, you must be careful not to hold on to what God had already released for you.

The Costs Of Unforgiveness

SPEAKER_02 20:28

Because there are consequences of unforgiveness, there are a lot of it, spiritual consequences, it will block your prayers. Mark chapter 11, verse 25. If you don't forgive, God said I will not even forgive you. And when you pray, I will not hear. Unforgiveness is equal to unforgiven. Unforgiveness towards someone is directly proportional to unforgiving. You will not be forgiven. We're reading that at the beginning in Matthew 6, verse 15. So loss of fellowship with God, that's what's gonna happen. You can't be holding offenses, you can't be bitter, you can't be holding grudge, you can't be so strong in boasting in your unforgiveness. Well, you're gonna lose things. Now, some people might say, but you don't understand. This person really hurt me. This thing is really painful. I understand. The way I understand is because you two have been forgiven. Now, the fact that we have human weakness to say, oh, the pain was too much, that's why I will not forgive. Does that not justify you to lose your relationship with God? Does that justify you to allow your prayers to be hindered? There is mental consequences. In fact, bitterness leads to stress, it leads to anxiety, it leads to obsessive thinking, higher rates of depression, anxiety, and chronic stress. Studies show unforgiveness increases cortisol, disrupts sleep, and impairs memory. That is just part of the That you might be suffering when you maintain unforgiveness. There are physical consequences as well. Your body will suffer. There's an increase in the possibility of the risk of heart disease, high blood pressure, overthinking, and immune system weakening. Proverbs 17, verse 22 said, A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. But a broken spirit dryer the bones. Also, your relationship will suffer. You will begin to project pain on the people who didn't even cause it. There will be trust issues. Unforgiveness will raise your blood pressure, weakens your immunity, causes insomnia. So harboring unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. How's that possible? This is why you need to act now. This is why you need to do something about this. God wants us to begin to change our ways. Are there benefits of unforgiveness? Absolutely, yes. Spiritual renewal and intimacy with God, freedom from torment, peace and clarity of mind, physical healing, emotional balance and resilience, better relationships and healthy boundaries. But at the same time, I also want to say that why is unforgiveness hard for some people? Because we confuse forgiveness with trust. We think forgiveness means condoning. We feel that letting go lets them off the hook. We don't believe we can be whole without this justice happening right now. We have this unresolved trauma towards people, and we just think until something happens, we will not be okay. But forgiveness doesn't say they were right, it says you won't let their wrong rule your heart anymore. Unforgiveness is self-inflicted imprisonment. So don't let what they have done to keep you bound. Let's put it this way offense is like a bait, but bitterness is actually the end result, a cage. So forgiveness doesn't deny the pain, it chooses the pain but also seek for healing. So don't let offense drag you into a place that bitterness will cage you. And you may be asking me, a lot of things have happened to me. I have offended people too. And also, I have been offended. Listening to me now, you know you have been offended. Maybe you are currently offended right now. Just think about it. Are you going to allow this to continue? Are you going to continue to suffer? And you may be asking me, Do I have to forgive this person? Do I have to forgive everyone? And if at all, how often? Well, Matthew 18, 21 to 22 says, Lord, how many times will the forgiveness need to happen? Jesus said 70 times seven. I mean, simple maths, it's 490. But he said, 70 times seven, it is just almost saying infinity. One person cannot be offending you every day 490 times or in a month. 490 times. So God wants you to forgive to infinity. So He wants you to forgive all the time. He wants you to forgive all the time for your own sake and for your soul's sake.

Forgive Yet Set Clear Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 25:20

And you might be saying, but what about these repeated offenders? But somebody has been offending me over and over and over again. How am I gonna handle that? How am I gonna deal with that? Because this is so deep, and I don't think I can handle this anymore. How do you handle repeated offenders in your life? It could be your husband, it could be your wife, it could be your children, it could be your boss, it could be your mom, it could be your dad, it could be people around you. Forgive, but establish healthy boundaries. You cannot continue allowing someone that constantly speaks badly towards you, say certain things that is just so unhealthy, bully you. You need to put boundaries in place. And the boundary is I'm not gonna accept this. I can't sit here and continue to hear this. And you need to tell the person that there should be a conversation. You need to confront in love. Don't enable, you need to empower. You are called to have peace, to make peace, to be peaceful, but not to allow consistently being abused. The fact that God asks us to forgive does not mean that we put ourselves in the position that we're constantly being abused, being taken for granted. So you need to itemize what's the success of this unforgiveness, this repeated unforgiveness. Where is it coming from? Is it from your spouse? Is it from your husband? Is it from your wife? Is it your kids? What is it? Now, what am I gonna do to ensure that this thing does not continue? Boundaries. You're not called to be abused, you are called to be a peacemaker. So you need to be very clear on that, and that communication needs to happen. Now, West, sometimes when you have this communication with people that are constantly offending you, a lot of them feel so entitled that because you're a Christian, because you're a follower of God, because you're a preacher, now you should be constantly taken for granted and being abused and being put down, or they continue to gossip you, continue to slander you, continue to accuse you, lie against you, and all that. Now understand that that's their opinion. Understand that if these things are not true, but don't be in your position whereby you continue to hear this and this person continue to do this. There are people that you need to put boundaries so that you can maintain your peace, and conversation needs to be heard because you cannot continue tolerating such kind of thing in your life as a Christian.

Jesus’ Model Under Extreme Pain

SPEAKER_02 27:40

I love what Jesus did, and it's our perfect example on the cross. He said, Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. This is very powerful. Jesus forgave before they repented, Jesus forgave why he was bleeding, Jesus forgave why he was dying. This is perfect message, and I think it's our model. I know that you have different reasons to say this is not possible, this is not just how I think I need to live my life. It is so hard, it is so tough. But Jesus is our perfect example, and the Bible says we should follow his steps in First Peter chapter 2, verse 24. That Christ has set an example for us, and we need to follow the steps. So you need to understand that Christ being the model, Christ was in a very difficult place. The pain was unbearable, the beating, the isolation, the humiliation, the embarrassment, the false accusation, he did all that for you. Now, not when they were repenting, because sometimes we say, When the person does this, then I can forgive. Then you are putting condition towards your forgiveness. You can forgive and put boundary in place, like we said earlier. Christ bled, Christ was dying, Christ was in pain, but yet in that state, he prayed a prayer that is so profound. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. Can you imagine that level of depth? That's what we are trying to say. Think about this for a minute. Just think about Christ. I know you're in pain, I know you might be suffering. And this can also help you enlighten you about what forgiveness is all about. And also to understand that Satan uses this against us. You don't want to know how many people are not gonna see Christ because they're passed away with unforgiveness in their heart. You don't want to be that. So forgive even if you're suffering right now. Forgive even if you're bleeding right now, forgive because your savor did that for you, for me. We're gonna be

Short Break And Song

SPEAKER_02 29:49

right back. We just have a short break. Let's listen to a song, Christ Ambassador Speech and Every Way as Song. It's really a lovely song. I want you to listen to that. We're gonna be back in a few minutes. God bless you.

Signs You Have Not Forgiven

SPEAKER_02 33:39

So we were in the subject of the power of forgiveness. And before we went on this short break, we're talking about Jesus is the model that we must follow. I want to talk about the signs that possibly you need to think about, and that shows that someone had not fully or truly forgiven. If you keep rehearsing the heart, you know, sometimes you are by yourself in the bathroom, you're by yourself in the shower, you're by yourself in the kitchen, you're driving, you're by yourself, just taking a walk, you're by yourself in your room, but you're rehearsing the entire heart. You've been doing this consistently every day, every week. When you see this person, when you pass through their house, when you drive through this, you just think about their entire heart and you are rehearsing it. And it's so fresh in your mind. And you can see the anger, the rage. You wish them evil, you wish them to die, you wish something evil to happen to them. That's a sign that you haven't forgiven. You walk past them on the road, you don't greet them, you don't talk to them, even wish them harm. You just feel like they should die. The family should be in pain, or something should happen to their children, or to their walk, or whatever. They're just this curse that is so subtle that you release. The vibration is so clear. It doesn't show you forgiven. And you get joy from their pain. Anytime you hear something has happened to them, unfortunate situation, you are rejoicing. You are so excited, you're so happy. And sometimes you say it serves them right. I think this is the payback, this is the justice I've been waiting for. Now that's a very clear evidence you haven't forgiven. Another one is that you tell everyone but God. Like you literally go tell everyone just to spoil relationships, you gossip them, you slander them, you do everything to finish them. You go online, you go on WhatsApp, you share, you do this, you do that, and just tell everyone but God. When you feel justified in your anger and your rage toward this person or towards these people or towards this family, or toward this man or woman, when that is constantly being your new persona, the way you act, your new way of treating people, it shows you have not forgiven. So now that you know what unforgiveness is, and now that you know the sign that you have not forgiven. So, what is the true forgiveness? What does it show? So, how do you truly forgive and make

Practical Steps To Truly Forgive

SPEAKER_02 36:06

peace? Number one, acknowledge the heart, honestly. You need to be truthful to yourself. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. Just a couple of phrases, but you know you're not fine. You know these things not treating you well. Just need to acknowledge it. Number two, pray for the offender. Do you know what it means to pray for those that is killing you, those that's abusing you, those that is floundering you, gossiping you, those that is treating you bad, those that is doing you something that you know is just wrong. Do you know that praying for them is just a way to release, it's just a way to show, it's just a way to understand? Pray for the offender, and that's what God said. Pray for them. Matthew chapter 5, verse 44. Pray for them. Number three, verbally release them. I forgive you. I let go. Forgive your wife, forgive your husband, forgive your children, forgive your offenders. Just verbally say it. Put it in the air, put it in the frequency, put it before God, scream it out. I forgive them, release them so they can be free. Number four, stop keeping the offense alive. Remember, no need for rehearsal. There's so many things to rehearse in your life to make your life move forward. Stop keeping the offense alive because it's gonna put you in a difficult place. Number five, ask the Holy Spirit to help you where you can't. There are some offenses, there are some hearts, there are some wounds, there's some pain. I can tell you with everything that I've said, it just seems impossible. Like you feel really, really bad that you're gonna do this.

Stories Of Radical Forgiveness

SPEAKER_02 37:46

I remember this story of someone that had to forgive. I'll tell you two stories. So, this lady in the US, true story. So, as a teenager, I think she was just under 18 and uh she was raped when she got pregnant. Now, you can imagine that when she was able to identify the rapist and um she was jailed for so many years in the US. She delivered the baby, but life was just unbelievably hard for her. I mean, can you imagine that level of wound? That level of pain. You look at your child and you just know that this is from a rapist. You look at the stomach is getting bigger, you're carrying the rapist baby. How are you even gonna think about that? That is a million times so wrong. And even when the baby was born, it was very hard. She carried this thing for more than 10 years. It was eating her up. She's gone for therapy, she's gone for group this, group that, she's gone for all sorts, she's taken medications, she's gone canceling. It's just a temporary relief. She was really, really in pain. And she cannot find herself forgiveness this man. So she was invited to a church by a friend. And when she came in, they were talking about the love of God, and they were talking about Christ, and they were talking about what he did and how Christ has carried everything. I mean, the key word there was he carried whatever you think you are carrying right now, and he took it to the cross. It was in Colussians, and he nailed it to the cross. And that thing he carried to you now. You are thinking that he did it because you've not given it to Christ. Nobody can carry it for you. It's heavy and it's eating you up. Why don't you just hand it over to Jesus? Somebody has really hurt you. The message was so powerful that it directed and explained her condition. As you know, the Holy Spirit always inspired the ministers that connect with him. She was broken, she wept, she cried, and she gave her life to Christ. For the first time since this event happened, she've never had this level of peace and joy. And that was where she had the strength that she's gonna forgive. In fact, when she left, she was so transformed in the church that when she went back home, she told her mom that she wants to go and see him in the prison. The father said, No way. The mother said, No way, that's not happening. That is not gonna happen. She said, I want to tell him that I'll forgive him. And I want to tell him that his baby is alive, is here. Can you just think about that for a minute? But remember, she's an adult, she'll make her own choices. She was truly transformed by the power of God and the power of the Holy Spirit. That kind of forgiveness cannot be done by psychology, it cannot be done by willpower, it cannot be done because I'm intelligent. This is next level forgiveness. And so she requested to go and see him in prison. Now, he didn't even know who was coming because they didn't tell him, but they said it was necessary that he meet somebody that wants to see him. As you know, the way the prison works, if you conversant with that. And suddenly she showed up. Now, remember, this is 10 years later. She's grown, she's changed. He didn't even recognize the woman. And she just asked him, How are you? How are you doing? He was still wondering, Who are you? And she said, I'm the teenager you raped over 10 years ago. He busted crying. He said, I came here to forgive you so that you will know that you have been forgiven. Now, you are serving the sentence because of what you did, but I'm here to say, I have forgiven you, and Jesus saved me. You need to also come to Christ and give yourself to the Lord because He needs you. Do you know that that man got saved in prison? It transformed his life, and this lady became a powerful evangelist, a powerful minister for God, going from one state to the other, talking about Jesus. In fact, her story brings hundreds to Christ. Can you see how messy that story was? But Christ took that story, God took that story and made it something for himself, for his own glory. And she became a tool and a vessel in the hand of God. I don't know what your forgiveness will do, not just for you, but maybe for all those around you. Let me hold on to this. I'm going to talk about this towards the end. But I just want you to know that God can help you to forgive. The Holy Spirit can help you to forgive. That's the context. How

Staying Free From New Offence

SPEAKER_02 42:47

do you stop offending others? How do you ensure that you will stop offending others or minimize it? Always self-examine yourself. 2 Corinthians 13, verse 5 said, Examine yourself to see that you are still in the faith. So examine yourself. James chapter 1, verse 19 says, Be quick to hear but slow to speak, which means slow down and listen. Sometimes it's because of misunderstanding. Sometimes it's because of lack of perception. And it's because of different perspectives. Also, ask for feedback humbly. If something has happened or somebody fell somehow, just ask for feedback humbly. Make it very clear. Number four, walk in love, not an impulse. A lot of us are impulsive people. Anything happened, we just react. We just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. So work in love. Walk in love, not impulse. How to maintain a heart of constant forgiveness. Stay constant. This is key. Stay constant with the Lord. Commune with God regularly. This is why you can have some strength. To forgive some things if you're not connected with the Lord. There's a benefit in having Christ in your life. We are also forgiven. You offended. The Bible says, For all have sinned and gone short of God's glory. We were shaping and born in sin in Psalm 51. Now you have experienced the Lord. Extend that. It's God gave you grace. Extend the grace to other people. When something has happened, try as much as you can to resolve it immediately. Or find a way not to keep it for too long. Otherwise, it will take you to bitterness. And that is the cage. Remember, I told you offense is a bait, it's a trap, it's a snare. But the big one is bitterness. That's the father of offense. It keeps you bound. And then allow love to lead you. Let the love of God constrain you. Let the love of God lead you. Let the love of Christ become what you practice, what you follow. Because there are consequences if you die with unforgiveness. In Matthew 6, verse 15, neither would your father forgive you. And the Bible says we should not be deceived. Galatians 6, 7 and 8. We should not be deceived that God is not mocked. Whatever a man sowed, he will reap. If you are sowing unforgiveness, if you are holding heart, if you are holding to offense, and you're saying, I'm not going to let them go. Just be aware that you will not be forgiven. Heaven is for the forgiven, not for the unforgiven people. And for those who forgive, God has to forgive you to enter heaven. And you need to forgive to enter heaven, otherwise, you'll be barred from that place. You are not the one in charge. You don't decide who gets to heaven or who doesn't. Done to you. It is important that you deal in this part of eternity. Don't gamble with eternity because of grudge, because of what somebody has done. I'm not minimizing what has just happened. I just told you of a story. Can you imagine how painful that is? You have to forgive. You may have the right to be angry, but you don't have the right to hold it forever. Yes, you might have the right to be angry, depending on what has happened, but you don't have the right to hold it forever. Unforgiveness is not your right, it's the right that Satan gives to people to hold them bound so that they will not have access to the kingdom of God. And this is why you need to change your ways today. This is why you need to turn things around and allow God by the Holy Spirit to change you and to bring it to you Himself.

Forgiveness That Restores A Family

SPEAKER_02 46:32

I told you that I'm going to tell you another story. This is a story, again, that happened to a pastor. For whatever reason, the wife was not satisfied with the ministry, satisfied with whatever is going on. And there's some other stuff that's happened that she left the pastor. This is a true story. It's not made up at all. And she went with her ex-boyfriend that was not married at the time. Now, she has had about three kids with the husband already. And she left with this other man. I think for a few years, the pastor continued to pray, continued to read the Bible, continued to trust God that she's gonna come back. Now, unfortunately, the man that she went with became alcoholic and was abusing her, was beating her, was molesting her. It was really, really bad, assaulting her. So after some time, she came. The mom was praying, I was at home, all the kids are growing, so the man just heard a knock on the door. This is a true story. And it was raining of the day. Behold, the wife was knocking at the door. And she said, I'm back. Please forgive me. This man cried, took the wife in. Remember, he's a pastor, an active pastor. Even at the time that the wife has gone away. Can you imagine what church members will be saying? Can you imagine what the media will say? Can you imagine what even the family will be saying? Can you imagine what people would have said? I've been thinking about this. But the reality is that he forgave her. So when he forgave her and she came back, they had another child, which was the last child. When she came back, the marriage continued for another 33 years, just over 30 years. Both of them have passed away to glory now. So the last child that was born after she came back to the dad was the one speaking, and I was there. And it was showing us the Bible that the father had before the mom came back. Literally, it was full of writing. My wife is coming back. I'm forgiving her. He's just trusting God. So many requests, different pages. It was so powerful. Everybody was so tearful. And then he said, I don't know what they have done to you that you cannot forgive for the sake of Christ and the sake of heaven and eternity. I want you to know that this thing we're talking about today is very important. And this forgiveness is something that you need. God needs to open your eyes to understand how serious this is. And I'm sorry for whatever you've been through. I'm sorry for what has happened to you. And I strongly believe that God inspired me to talk about this today because somebody needs to hear this, somebody needs to be free, somebody needs to be delivered, somebody needs to be brought out of the snare of the devil, the cage of bitterness, so they can begin to see answers to prayer, liberation, power, mercy, intervention, preservation, protection of God that they once enjoyed. Or maybe you don't even know the Lord. And this thing has so much brought you to a state that you don't even know what to do.

Guided Prayer And Final Charge

SPEAKER_02 49:51

And you're asking, can so can I forgive? You can come to Jesus today. Because forgiveness isn't for the weak, it is for the wise, it is not forgetting, it is letting go before the pain poisons you and destroys you and eventually take you to hell. Someone is carrying years of revenge right now, and you are listening to me. You are hurting. Today is the day to say, I lay it down at the foot of Christ. Let the soul not go down another night with this level of bitterness in my heart. Don't let eternity catch you with unforgiveness in your soul. Because if you do not forgive, neither will your father which is in heaven forgive you. So I want you to say this after me boldly. If you're saying this from your heart, I forgive my offenders. Not because they deserve it, but because you forgive me. You can tell the Lord, Lord, heal my heart. Repeat after me, heal my heart, cleanse my soul, break every root of bitterness, help me to walk in love, give me strength to release what I have carried for too long. I forgive, I release, I choose freedom in the name of Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. In Jesus' name. Amen. I want to thank you for joining me on this podcast. And I believe that God has specifically said certain things to you. I will encourage you to listen to this again. I will encourage you to share this. I will encourage you to let more people know about this. Share this message with someone who needs healing and subscribe for more truth. You know, follow us in all the podcast platforms. This is free. And if you want to support us, I mean, you can see the link wherever you're listening to this, and support us so that we continue to trust God to help us to do this and to continue to bring you something that will bring change and transformation in your marriage and relationship. Don't forget, this is Christ Ambassadors Reaching Everywhere Podcast. Our vision is to make you ready to be an effective minister, to stand for Christ, to be bold for the truth, and to continue to live the life that after you have preached, you will not be a castaway, you will not be outside the kingdom of God. May God bless you, may God keep you until we see again next week. Remember less.

SPEAKER_00 53:08

Until next time, stay blessed.