Episode 53: Identity Crisis

Hello and welcome to another episode of Stairway to Redemption. After a long hiatus we are back guys. This we have Haley, a Long Island life coach in training who is going to share with us her story and tips on how to break addiction. Enjoy!

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Transcript

Benyi: 0:05

Hi, my name is Benny Johnson. As some of you know, I've been struggling with addiction. However, I decided to change my life and went into recovery. I started this podcast 90 days clean and I want to take you along in my journey. What does lie ahead of me? Let me be frank. I do not know. Will I ever drink again? I do not know. This is how Stairway to Redemption was born. It is my search for answer in a real time process of what is going to work for me. It is then my aspiration to help you figure out what is going to work for you. It is our journey together. Hello and welcome to Stairway to Redemption. Uh, what a long hiatus we had, guys. Uh, but yeah, we're back. Uh, yes, this week on Stairway to Redemption, our guest, it's Haley, uh, Long Island Life Coach, who's gonna share with us, uh, her story and some tips on how to improve your health and break addiction. I give you guys Haley. How are you doing today?

Haley: 1:40

Hi, I am doing well. Uh, happy to be here.

Benyi: 1:44

All right. That's awesome. So the first question, um, in, you know, tradition stairway to redemption is the state of the mind address. So what's going on with you lately? What can you share? What's your state of mind?

Haley: 2:01

Well, I have certainly been busy. I have been working a lot on, um, my SMART goals. So like my specific measurable, achievable, um, Relevant time focused goals. Uh, as far as that, I've been getting into a really good daily routine. I am currently reading this book called Winning the Clutter War by Sandra Felton. Because um, I grew up like super cluttered and like not being organized at all like Benny I'm sure you could see in my background like there's a bunch of stuff going on there right now Um, so i'm definitely learning to be organized and kind of implementing the steps as I go along It's been challenging because at the same time I am Keeping up with a good exercise program and trying to stay, um, balanced with that while I'm also battling with adrenal fatigue. So I just saw my doctor two days ago and he was like, your adrenals are burnt out. Um, and he just put me on some new medication for that. So it's been tough, like to keep a good exercise routine, but I am a full believer and advocate for like. By the, uh, wellness of the body, mind and spirit. So it all kind of works together. So, um, even though I love to just stay organized and like focus on art and music, which are also some things that I'm working on, um, I gotta put in the physical work too. I was, I did some meal prepping today and I'm just working on becoming the person I want to be.

Benyi: 3:30

Uh, that's awesome. That's, uh, great to hear, especially when you said a holistic approach of mind, body, spirit. We're going to turn, we're going to return to that part, but I wanted just a question. What's, uh, adrenal, what did you say? Adrenal, um. Adrenal fatigue. Yeah, yeah, what's that? Sorry, I might, that might be a dumb question, but yeah.

Haley: 3:54

No, not at all. It's actually, um, it's not something that everybody's aware of. So adrenal fatigue, aka fatigue of the adrenal glands is, um, we all have our adrenal glands, they focus on regulating our hormones and as well as like, Are the hormones that keep us through the day like cortisol and regulate our entire nervous system so for me in my specific case and most people with adrenal fatigue what this will mean is that our organs are too, our organs and our glands are too tired, like we have adrenal glands on top of our kidneys, we have adrenal glands in our thyroid, and when these start to dysregulate for whatever reason, um, we tend to just feel fatigued, so like, I am extremely tired, um, I, after the medicine that I was prescribed for that, I actually, um, had to leave work early yesterday because I was, all of a sudden, like, my body was catching up to all of the sleep that I had been missing, and all of the rest that my body needed to do to repair my adrenal glands. So I got home at 12 o'clock, like in the middle of the day and slept for three hours just immediately because I felt like I was hit by a bus because my adrenals were just trying to catch up. So, um, yeah, it's hard. It's not fun. Uh, I've been dealing with it for a few years and that's kind of, that is part of how I found myself in the holistic health sphere. So, um, yeah, I hope that answers your question.

Benyi: 5:18

Okay. Yeah. So I had no, I had no idea that was a condition that existed and like, um, how, how did you get diagnosed in the first place? What happened that, you know?

Haley: 5:34

So my initial diagnosis with adrenal fatigue was from my Czech practitioner, which is the kind of practitioner that I'm studying to be. That's um, corrective holistic exercise, kinesiologist. And basically, excuse me, basically just by looking at. My energy levels and, like, the way that I could never, um, recuperate after exercising, and the way that exercising was even just really hard for me to begin with, um, I had trouble sleeping, it was hard for me, like, I'd try to go to sleep at night, my body would just short out, but at the same time I'd be so tired that I'd just kind of kept feeling like an engine that was never really starting. Um, so it wasn't a, we never did any sort of blood work or anything. It was more so just a suspicion that this was the issue. So we started to handle it, um, right off the bat just with, Some diet and lifestyle changes as well as taking an herbal supplement called ashwagandha Which is funny because I took that for a while and then that was back when I was 21 and I'm 24 So that was three years ago and I don't remember what happened eventually I stopped and it was hard because I Didn't have the funds to like keep seeing my Czech practitioner. So I kind of fell off the map for a while with it And then when I got back to him, like I started feeling a little better. So we didn't really focus on the adrenal fatigue too much, which in retrospect, I wish that we did, because I kind of continued to deal with that for years, a few more years, and we never really realized it. And then now my most recent, like, kind of re diagnosis, um, I'm working with this, uh, So he's a chiropractor as well as a muscle testing herbalist. And so by doing the muscle testing, which is essentially using your body's reflexes to gauge, um, to gauge what is going on inside the body without doing any sort of blood tests, you just kind of. It's a weird process, right? So it's like I have to pull out my arm and um, he will press on these pressure points, which then correspond to again, the body's reflex, which will be able to show the practitioner of reflexology, like where that issue is. And for me, um, I've been working with this doctor for Over months now. He's helped me pretty much be cured for my allergies and um, Fungal and parasite issues and other issues and yeah, so I after working with him for a while Um, I was just there two days ago And yeah, he was like, he looks at me and he goes your adrenals have left the building So he's like there's just no activity there. Like we really got to get you on something So then what they do with the muscle testing is they'll take these supplements You That, um, they think would be best for the issue. And then they test your body's response to see how your body's going to handle it. And, um, yeah, so that's how I was diagnosed.

Benyi: 8:25

Okay. Wow. That's a very interesting because like, um, I like the approach of like. Um, I'm very intrigued by the approach of diagnosing something without blood work, because here, like, especially in traditional medicine, you know, Western medicine, when there's something like, you don't understand the immediate, the immediate thing is blood work, biopsy, and just look at the labs, but I never heard of anything like, um, You said like a muscle, um, muscle testing, uh, with pressure points. That's, that's new to me. Um, but yeah, um, thank you for sharing that. And now we're like, uh, so what is your story, Haley? Um, what's your relationship with usually drugs and alcohol and that stuff? Yeah.

Haley: 9:17

Yeah. Yeah. So that's an interesting one. And, um, before we touch on that, what you just said, I'd love to pick up on that really quickly. Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah, thank you. It is an interesting practice of, like, muscle testing, and of course, like, any doctor is gonna hear that and be like, Well, you didn't do any blood tests, so there's no proof, right? And that's a totally valid thing to believe. I'm not against testing, like, Um, I'm actually working with a functional diagnostic nutritionist and I'm about to get a hair tissue mineral analysis, which is one of the ways to where we could see if like we have high heavy metals or anything that could be impacting our biology. And then, um, after that test, I'm supposed to be getting a thyroid panel done by her because along with the adrenal fatigue, something that's very common to be paired with that is like hypothyroidism or hyperthyroidism. Um, I'm suspecting that mine is hypothyroidism because of my levels of fatigue and inability to lose weight and all of this stuff. So, um, yeah, there's definitely like multiple routes to discovering, um, what's going on in our bodies. And I think the most important things are What's just helping us like feel better like what's giving us the best results the fastest like when I started seeing my my Muscle testing herbalist. I was like skeptical of them But my friend was like trust me like you're not gonna feel the same like immediately after what he gives you and you're really gonna See a difference and like my allergies were gone in two weeks. My parasite issues were gone in two weeks. It was really magical I'd never seen anything like it And um, so yeah, for me in that case, the proof is in the pudding. Now, since you asked about my history with drugs and addiction, um, this is interesting. When I was around 13 years old, there was this movie that they showed us in our school about this girl that had killed herself. Um, and they like just kind of really talked about like suicide and suicide awareness. And they were trying to make it this thing. So we're like, They talk about it in order to prevent it, right? But like me being a 13 year old kind of going through depression and some family stuff at home Um personal stuff, which I won't get into but just really feeling lost in the world like I didn't have any meeting and the one part of that that I will get into is that I was adopted so like I always kind of grew up with this lack of sense of self and this lack of belonging so after I heard about like this girl that you know killed herself, I was like What would that be like? As

Benyi: 11:49

a

Haley: 11:50

13 year old girl, if you can imagine, just being like, you know, like, she did it, like she had to do it for a reason, and I kind of got hooked on that fact, like, that that was a thing I could do, because I was feeling so alone at such a young age, so like, I used to, on my bus rides from home, I used to memorize my suicide letter, like I started writing it. And I was like, all right, this is what I would say. And I remember the feeling of just feeling completely alone and feeling like It was kind of the only way for anybody to really recognize me Like if I didn't kill myself, then parents wouldn't know how I feel was kind of where I was coming from So that's kind of where it started Um, I remember I used to think about it like every day for about a year, and then I turned 14 years old, and it kind of just went away, but then what, what kind of replaced that, like, initial feeling of hopelessness and loss of meaning, which I think is where a lot of addicts kind of find some sort of vice, is that, like, feeling of being lost. So I had these friends who were, um, part of the emo group. They all listened to like the rock music, the heavy metal, the people screaming into the microphone. And they had told me about how they started cutting themselves. Like they would take razor blades and slice their wrists. It's called self harm, um, for anybody who's not familiar with that. And because I was someone who used to want to kill myself, but like never really knew how to do it. And then I find out about this. I'm like, okay. Like, If this is what my friends are doing, if this is what's kinda getting them to ha This was our coping skill, basically. Like, if this is how they're coping, like, I might as well try it. So that's where I started, and I was only 14 years old, so, like, I wonder what it was the fir I think the first time I did it, I had taken this, uh, shaving razor, and, like, gone into my mom's bed and literally just, like, lightly nicked my skin, and I remember, It hurts so bad, but at the same time, like, like it hurt so bad that I cried, but at the same time, like, there was some sort of relief there. So I slowly started exploring that over like the next two years of just what it felt like It eventually got to the point where like I would do it in class I would take thumbtacks off the wall and scrape my skin just this really dark stuff and I was listening to all this music that was just kind of like Reinforcing this negative pattern like, you know people screaming in my ears about how they want to die And how life sucks and all this just really depressing stuff Which i'm so surprised that any 14 year old would be able to listen to Or like have the access or be allowed to listen to um I remember I used to like walk around in middle school just my headphones in like my head down I'd go into class and put my head down. I wouldn't want to talk to anybody I had like, classmates be like, are you okay? And I'd just like, give them this angry look that would make them leave me alone. And, um, I, I eventually had like some teachers that, you know, were starting to get concerned about me at that point. They didn't know I was cutting myself. Um, I actually had a friend that like, wasn't doing any of this. He had encouraged me to seek help because like, I told him about how my friends were doing this. I told him about how I was doing this. He was a little bit older than me. So at the time he was kind of taking on more of a mentorship role. And he was like, you know, like you should really seek help. Like, if you don't like, I'm going to talk to your parents about this. Cause this isn't right. And so I did like I went to the school social worker and I got help for that. They put me in therapy. Um, I was now at that time, 15 years old. And that was my first addiction. Now, a little while after therapy, maybe a year later, um, all my friends started getting into smoking weed. So I was like, great, something to replace the thing that I can't do anymore because now I'm, I'm watching that. Um, so I started doing that. And like, It's, it's funny, like, the lengths that a teenager will go to hide something that they know isn't good for them because it gives them that sense of freedom, so. I started out, like, I think my friends and I would smoke every couple months, just whenever we could get it. And I remember I started getting in trouble for my parents because I think not too long after the first time like they found out and they're like, you can't do that. Like, you know, you're not allowed to do that. And kind of having that being this kid who was like, you know, wanting to rebel against society and really just frustrated with everyone telling me no about things that I knew maybe were right and not the weed, like that was wrong. But like, there were other things to where it's like, If I asked people like adults question, I would kind of get shut down. I remember going through that a lot in from teachers to religious teachers. I grew up in the Catholic school system. So like, if I questioned them about God, they'd be like, like, no one would really give me kind of the respect that I felt like I deserved. So when I was told not to smoke weed, I was like, are you kidding? Like, this is fun. This is the only thing that makes sense. Why would I not? Um, so it started getting to a point like at over a few years, like, From a, you know, like once every couple of months to once every couple of weeks to once a week to twice a week to three times a day. And then by the time I'm, uh, 18 years old, not only am I smoking weed, but I'm, uh, I'm vaping like the nicotine vaping the nicotine. And that was definitely one, um, one that was like, you know, like. Again, very serious. Like if you look at places like Jamaica and like other places where smoking weed is kind of more socially acceptable, it's like there's people doing it at a younger age for sure. But then it's like the nicotine, just like the combination I feel like is so not healthy for like a young, young person. And, um, on top of that, which I actually remembered like while I was answering your questions, um, the other addictions that I was getting into were internet addiction. Like I would come home from school every day. Like And I was either playing video games with my friends, which was at least a little bit better, but then, like, watching shows and watching YouTube videos. And also because of being a young person exposed to things on the internet, I developed a porn addiction at age 15 and that was a big struggle for me. And that's something I think I, I know I've heard Billie Eilish talk about it, but like, as far as women in media and just people in media in general, everyone kind of seems to be like ignoring that. That's a whole thing that like can ruin lives. And it definitely had an impact on me. Like, Because of that kind of instant gratification and non respect of, uh, sexuality, like, it started pushing me in a dark place, like, towards the wrong crowd of people. As I got older and I graduated high school, like, I thought the things that I wanted in life were sex and weed. Like, you know, like, that's, that was my mindset at 18 years old. Even though I went to college, like, it was sex, drugs, rock and roll, basically, it was, like, the mindset, and I wish that I had a I really wish that there was more that was done for me when I was younger, like before I became an adult to, uh, save that. And unfortunately, because of my circumstances, there just wasn't. And I'm not, not grateful for like my family situation. I think I'm very lucky to be adopted into like a loving family. I also just, you know, like from my experience would say that. You know, I don't think a lot of people in my life know that, like, all of this happened to me, and I wish that things were different.

Benyi: 19:22

Wow, like, um, what a powerful story, like, uh, there's a lot of impact to impact there, like, I, I think we talked before, like, you know, we, we met and we hang out at the, um, at the teahouse, at the cafe teahouse, yeah, we go to. And, you know, you talk to me about the weed and, uh, the nicotine, but like, I had no idea at the time that there were like basically your solution to deeper problems. You know, like, I didn't know about the cutting. Uh, I didn't know about yourself sense of like, um, uh, that loss of, um, of self or sense of self, since you were adopted, like that's something that, you know, I never had a chance to talk. To somebody who is adopted. I'm sure that like, I. I think I can conceive how it goes, like how can one can question the identity because, you know, like they're, you know, they're not living with their, I think I can, I can definitely empathize with that. Like, you know, even if it's hard for me to conceptualize, to imagine or to feel what you feel. I can definitely imagine where, you know, that path will lead you to addiction, to the different places, and also the emo phase. Oh, wow. Like, um, You know, it's almost caricatural of, you know, those like TV shows where like everybody wear black. So like even a South Park episode with the Elmo kids, you know, like I remember those. I'm like, Oh yeah, I, I watch, I was laughing, but apparently, you know, some, some, some There's some truth in some stereotypes, but, uh,

Haley: 21:16

Oh my goodness, there's so much truth. Like emo kids are such a real thing and it's literally like, Oh wow, wait, that's funny as I'm saying that I remembered something else, but like it's a whole culture of like kids who convince other kids to cut themselves. And then on top of that, like in my specific, uh, Like emo circle. Another really big thing was eating disorders, and I forgot that I had an eating disorder because that's kind of been a long time since I've been removed from that, but. There's this social media site called tumblr. Um that like a lot of 15 16 year olds back in my age used to go on And one thing about tumblr is that it was really not like nothing was restricted. So there's this whole uh eating disorder movement on there I don't know what it's like these days, but when I was 15 years old I could scroll for hours, kind of like on an Instagram, like infinite scrolling system of all these girls that were starving themselves and talking about how to get thin in a very unhealthy way. Cause I grew up overweight for a really long time. Um, due to poor diet and lifestyle because of how I was raised. And, um, yeah, it's just really insane that like. You know kids kind of I think in the school system we have today. I see it a lot I work in child care now, so I know like kids kind of raise themselves like even though they have parents parents are working parents are Living their lives. There seems to be a huge lack of involvement in a lot of cases like uh, like that and um It the I wanted to touch on the adoption thing as well because parallel to me. I had a best friend growing up. Um, You We could, I'm going to use a fake name. We could call her Caitlin. I had a best friend, Caitlin, who was also adopted and she went down a way darker path than I did. Like not only did she get into all of the things that I was into, like the cutting herself and she would cut herself really bad, I used to have to run. Three blocks down to her house to stop the bleeding, like at 14 years old to go and help her because she was cutting herself and, um, yeah, like she needed somebody and she didn't feel like she could rely on her parents because she was adopted and she felt alienated in that house because they weren't like Her parents were in a bad place, like they were pill poppers and et cetera, so like it just wasn't a safe environment for her. And because of that slight change in environment that like she had to where like my parents were more like decently more stable than her, um, even though like every family has its own problems, um, Me and my friends wound up like trying to save her from heavier drugs, like popping pills and drinking. Like she would bring alcohol to school and she didn't try to, she would try to encourage us to drink like during the school day. And just like really dark stuff happened to this hurt to this girl. And my heart goes out to her because like, you know, if we had switched families, that would have been me, you know? And it's like, just the, Adoption thing. So, yeah.

Benyi: 24:22

Yeah. I mean, like, uh, I can I totally agree with you. Some, some of us are like, you're like a lot of our trajectory in life. Unfortunately, depends on where we were born, you know, like where geographically and also where we've, um, the family that raises us, you know, And this is basically a lottery that we all have to face, you know, uh, that we all did face when we were born. Um, but yeah, like when you talk about, um, uh, childhood and, uh, the emo, uh, and being adopted, like, uh, it sounds to me like that. Even if you felt when you felt alienated, you still had a strong desire to belong. And I guess like among teenagers, especially with social media nowadays, I mean, when I wanted, I was a teenager, I wanted to belong, but, um, Yeah, like our desire to belong at all costs, um, I believe can lead us to some dark path, you know?

Haley: 25:30

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, like, um,

Benyi: 25:37

you know, even if, uh, like the fact that Tumblr and social media gave you like, for example, just body image, like wanting to be thin. And, uh, to fit a certain role and even the porn addiction, you know, like, because like you said, like kids, I think are now raising themselves. Thanks. And because of the internet, because like, if they don't want to ask or they're afraid to ask or to talk to an adult, they can just Google it. It's on their phone, you know, And we have now a bunch of influencers who are like, ready to like, tell them lies. Like, you know, we have like the, the red pill guys, like, you know, for like, we have the like, uh, ate and some of those guys who are like, oh, the role of a woman is to be a traditional role. The role of the guy is to be alpha like. You know, some of the, um, so my little brother is, uh, 21. Some of his friends, I talked to them like, um, and yeah, some of them are like, yeah, Andrew Tate is right, man. Like these ladies, they're not, uh, you cannot trust them. I'm like, Whoa, okay. All right. You guys have an issue. Like, you know, they do drink less. My, the generation of my little brother drinks less, but they do smoke a lot. Like. Speaking of nicotine and weed, they do smoke a lot, like, um, which leads me to this question. So how did you stop drinking? Uh, how did you stop smoking? Yeah.

Haley: 27:18

So, um, you could also ask how I stopped the rest of the addictions, which I'll answer. Yeah. And I'll, I'll do my best to keep it brief. Cause I, as I mentioned, I had a lot of issues. Um, so. When it came to the eating disorder, that's one that kind of waned on and waned off, like, over time, like, even as far as to a couple years ago. Um, so, like, with that, uh, I went from being the girl that would sit in the back of class writing the word fat on a paper over and over and over again to try and, like, trick myself into being skinny, and then going home and, like, after not eating all day and being like, I can't not eat, like, I'm starving, and then just eating and, like, skipping out. Um, that was like the beginning of it and then, um, after like that, I kind of, I still had the bad body image, um, which I guess I kind of released the stress of that through smoking, but as far as like the eating disorder, it kind of went away for a while until they put me on ADHD medication, which was an appetite suppressant as well, so it kind of made it hard to eat, like, regardless. Also, um, nicotine and Marijuana, marijuana of used in large enough quantities are also things that suppress appetite, so I definitely had issues with like Nutrition for years after like my first stint of an eating disorder and then later on in 2020 I decided to become a vegan. Um because of some stuff that I was reading online. I was like, yeah, it's a great idea I'll become a vegan I'll do intermittent fasting but because I was so obsessed with losing weight and I still had all the brainwashing of the eating disorder Um, I ate one meal every other day. So I would go one day, eat a meal the whole next day, eat nothing. And then the next day just eat one meal. And I did that for like three weeks until my body like gave out on me and I had to go to the hospital. Um, so that was like the worst I ever, yeah, that was the worst I ever had the eating disorder. Um, and then like, they helped me get better from that. And, um, After that, I'd say is like, The eating disorder kind of ended, but then like I still like now at this point, I was starting to get new nutrition, but I still wanted to lose weight. So I've had like a lot of fluxes of like, I started binge eating after that, not like binge eating and throwing up, but just like eating too much food because I didn't know what my body needed. I didn't know how much water I needed. And I just kept playing around with that. And so now I'm on a state roadside, my. My relationship with food is pretty good. It could be better, but it's not like, like I'm not binge eating anymore. Um, I'd say my biggest, like, struggle with the food thing is like, I really love eating healthy and organic, so I try to do that as much as I can. And sometimes the stress of not being able to do that all the time, like, will weigh me down. And then, like, sometimes, as well as the stress of, like, with people who have had eating disorders, anytime they restrict food. So, like, there's a lot of fitness influencers now. And even like Czech practitioners, which I am like in the school for that are like try to restrict like Gluten as much as you can and sugar because these things are bad for you, right? And then once I start restricting them that just winds up being what I crave So it's like this weird balance of kind of learning to do what a lot of people call 80 20 So that's the food thing. Um the smoking thing I Went to college to be an art teacher. Um, i'm very passionate about art still to this day. I host an art club um And like I do art when I can i'm making a mural etc You But I went to college to be an art teacher. Um, I smoked weed every day. It got to the point to where I couldn't I couldn't do anything without smoking weed. I would leave class to smoke weed. I would wake up, smoke weed. I would go to bed, smoke weed. Like I was just always high and I always had my vape with me, like always. Um, and then in 2019, so this is like entering into my sec, I guess, like this is still my first year of college, but entering into my second half of college, um, in May. May 4th, 2019. I, uh, I had an experience which, um, I don't, I don't know how much of this I should share with the podcast, but I had a personal experience that kind of. Changed my relationship with God. I kind of had a spiritual weakening and after spiritual awakening, I, um, what's it called after my spiritual awakening, I realized like I was kind of throwing my life away by smoking weed every day. And also, um, every time I smoked weed after that, I would get really bad panic attacks, so I had to quit. Um, And with the nicotine as well, like once I let go of the weed, it was like, okay, like, since I was throwing my life away with weed and like, I've seen a lot of family members in, a lot of my family members like deal with cigarette addiction and that's kind of where I picked up the nicotine to begin with, was watching them. But, um, yeah, so I saw nicotine as like the next thing to kind of go. And then with porn, I think I quit that about the same time, but that took almost longer to quit than both of the other things for some reason. And it's still this thing to where I deal with today, and I'm kind of trying to find like, how I mentioned with the food, like restricting something isn't good for you, but also, also indulging in it too much isn't good for you either, right? So it's kind of this thing to where like, If I want to, I will, but I've learned ways to not want to, like, I've learned ways to find better intimacy with myself and, um, and now that I'm dating, like, pace myself with partners so that sex isn't, like, the only thing on my brain and, like, really have, kind of, better outlets for that creative energy. Um, I even, like, Uh earlier this year I started doing tai chi like every day 20 minutes a day Uh once first thing I woke up I did that for 50 days 52 days and the goal in my school is like if you could do that for 100 days It's kind of really gonna revamp your spirituality and like your life and your connection to yourself So I did that earlier this year and now um recently, uh, how many days four days ago? I started doing it again because I failed that time and I kind of took a break You I started doing that again. But the thing with Tai Chi is that she is life force energy. It, what it's, what we kind of breathes through everything, like the breath of God, if you're going to look at it in a biblical perspective. So, um, the idea with Tai Chi is that it'll help you like, like I said, kind of connect to everything. And one of the things that it does, cause it's creative life force energy. It's also rules your sexual drive. Um, you hear about guys talking about like doing things like no FAP and whatever to kind of. Preserve their chi, their life force energy. This is a different way to do that. Um, that doesn't involve stopping that. Okay? Everyone's listening. It's like, wait a second, there's a different way. Like, um, Tai Chi is a unique way to cultivate your life force energy without Um, you know having to maybe stop something you want to keep doing so yeah, uh, That was the smoking thing and to be completely transparent um, I quit smoking weed for About three years and then I started experimenting last year like around my 23rd birthday um with it again to try and use it in like a conscious way because it was like hey, like I don't really drink, um, because I, I never had a huge problem. I, I wouldn't even say I had a problem with drinking. Um, like I just drank socially. And, um, since I didn't really like the way alcohol made me feel, and I wanted other ways to like, wind down, I did start engaging with marijuana again, and now I'm at the point where I really only smoke, um, CBD, like, uh, weed with a high CBD blend, which is like the non psychoactive part, and then a very, very low grade 0. 3 THC. It's the kind that doesn't show up in drug tests, and as well as it's the kind that just I can handle it. Like I could smoke that

Benyi: 35:43

one

Haley: 35:44

day and then not smoke. Like, I won't be craving it for weeks upon weeks. And then like, if I do like, I'll use it to relax. And it's the kind of thing that I could go days without like no problem. Like, I don't think it's an addiction for me as well as, um, there's a lot of people in my school that use tobacco kind of like as a ceremonious shaman experience. Um, so I still do engage with tobacco. I don't have a vape. Um, but every once in a while if i'm feeling called and like also like a lot of times that around people who celebrate in my school like that way. Like if I'm at like a party with people in my school, not really much of a party, usually just a social gathering, but they'll have like this very clean way to vaporize. It's called the volcano. It kind of Yeah, I

Benyi: 36:31

know what the volcano is, yeah.

Haley: 36:33

Yeah, so it takes the back,

Benyi: 36:35

right? Yeah,

Haley: 36:36

and it's like very clean. It's very different for your lungs. It's very, it's like real tobacco too, with no additives or anything. So it's like the purest way to get it. Um, and I have that like every once in a while. And then like, I will put organic tobacco in a pipe every now and again, but it's really not a regular part of my life. Like every once in a while, if I'm feeling like indulging in something, like that's what I'll go to. And it, you know, It's interesting. I don't think that that's for everybody. Like it is a very addictive substance And, um, yeah, like, I, I definitely don't think that's for everybody, I just know, like, because of me and where I'm at spiritually, like, it's what I've been, it's kind of just what I've chosen, and, um, I currently see a therapist once a week, so, like, I actually wonder what her take on it would be, because I don't think I've talked to her about that. But, um, I, I think I'm in a good enough place to where I wouldn't let myself get addicted to stuff like that again. So,

Benyi: 37:37

yeah. Hmm. Oh yeah, I see. Um, I, I didn't want to say like, you know, because like you say, it can be very, I, the first thing that came to mind is all, yeah, you got to pick your poison, but that's not what I was. I was, uh, thinking because, uh, well, like you said, you know, while you out spiritually, um, you know, that like, you're not going to get yourself addicted. Also, like I like, um, you know, like your approach of trying something different, especially with the CBD, because you knew you were having panic attacks with the weed after smoking. And you're like, let me use less THC, less psychoactive thing and the CBD because like I was using the weed to relax, but if now there's a way to not have the psychoactive things after that makes me happy. Have, uh, you know, that makes you have a panic attack, why not try it, you know, uh, but like in, in my, in my, um, so like me personally, I'm from, um, a 12 step program, AA, and there is no tinkering, like, you know, with like alcohol, because there's no, you know, even the big book has stories of a guy, you know, Taking a shot of a whiskey with milk, some people trying different ways and, and, uh, yeah, um, I've tried my different ways and they all fail. So for me, it's like a total abstinence.

Haley: 39:15

The reason I believe that is because I talked to my therapist about it in preparation for this podcast, actually, as well as, um, knowing people that have been affected by alcoholism, I was curious myself. Um, I'm not sure if you're aware of this. I don't know if they talk about this in 12 step, but what makes an alcoholic an alcoholic is that their body is, their liver is unable to process the thing called acetone and that chemical substance in the body will linger and Make the body crave more alcohol. And there's no right now, as far as I'm aware. And I actually would like to look into it more. Um, but there doesn't seem any way, seem to be any way to solve that right now, any way to solve that body, the livers inability to break down acetone. And what's interesting to me, like as a Czech practitioner, because we're all about healing the body from the inside out. So like using things like corrective exercise and diet and lifestyle And like even simple things like hydration, like where you get your water from, the quality of your foods, to be able to spark your bodies, uh, to spark your bodies! Capacity for healing. And what I'm curious about is like, if there would be a way, like, I don't know, in the near future, like for people to kind of do more of that kind of scientific testing to see, like, what is it that makes our bodies unable to break down acetone? And is there any sort of holistic healing that could solve that? But that would need like legit scientists, like testing. Yeah. That's not the kind of thing I would say to muscle test for, you know, Cause alcoholism, um, it affects so many people and it's not the kind of thing to fuck around with. Like,

Benyi: 41:02

yeah,

Haley: 41:03

yeah,

Benyi: 41:04

yeah, no, it's definitely, it's definitely not the, the, the kind of thing to, to mess and to do like, uh, A, B testing. So we've, but like. I think, uh, there are like definitely some strides into the chemical, more like scientific ways to block people from relapsing. You know, you have the Nutraxone, no, Vivitrol shot. That's supposed to stop you from craving alcohol, um, you have this way, but me personally, I think like my way, what has been working for me, the way that is being spiritually fit. So, like, you know, I totally agree with you, uh, in order for me to be spiritually fit, it has to be a holistic approach, like body, mind and spirituality, obviously. Like, you know, I'm a big advocate of fitness. So like I do, I go to the gym six times a week, I box. Um, but also I meditate, you know, and those need to go in tandem. Like they're like, um, those three sides, you know, the mind, the spirit and the body, uh, are like, uh, the, the legs of a tripod, you know, you cut one, the tripod fails for me. Falls. Yeah. Fell or falls. Yeah. Falls for me. So, but yeah, I wanted to circle back to like the ways you, you go out, you got out of those addiction and I wanted to ask you like, uh, I mean, to me, you are not overweight at all, you know, like, uh, You know, um, I don't know how you looked before, but is it safe to say that like that eating disorder was not for, like, was it for health reasons, like, or was it for, um, due to wanting to look like a certain way to feed it?

Haley: 43:08

It was definitely the latter. Like, And eating disorder is never for health reasons, like, the way I engage with food now is for health reasons, and I still do want to look a certain way to fit in. Like, both of those are true. Um, and I appreciate you saying that I don't look overweight. It's still, like, My body mass index would beg to differ. I am 220 pounds. I actually gained 20 pounds this year. Um, I'm 220 pounds and I'm only 5'4 So that puts me at an obese body mass index, which is crazy if you think about it. Cause like What the f

Benyi: 43:43

That's, yeah.

Haley: 43:44

Yeah! No, exactly!

Benyi: 43:46

Yeah, exactly. You get

Haley: 43:47

it? That's the reaction I get from a lot of people and it makes me feel better because I can't see what other people see. I can only see what I see in the mirror and what I see in pictures and I still like suffer with this body image to where like, if I see myself in a picture and I could see my stomach, it kind of ruins my whole day. In fact, um, I was at a party recently wearing this dress that I thought I looked really good in and then I get a picture of it and I could see my stomach and I'm like, why didn't anyone tell me that I looked fat? Like, It just completely, like, wrecked my self esteem for a while, and even though I'm dating somebody now, I'm like, and he's like, you're so beautiful, and stuff, and I'm like, okay, thank you, but like, I'm overweight, but also he, like, he himself lost, like, 200 pounds, so I think he's really better at, like, kinda looking at someone from the inside out, and not having an all be out appearance, which I really appreciate him for that. It's just like, yeah, that's my point is like, dang, it sucks. What was your question?

Benyi: 44:46

No, no, you answer it. If it was for body image or like for health reasons that you have to lose weight. Yeah.

Haley: 44:53

Yeah. So at this point it's for health reasons in the beginning, it also was like, I also was overweight as a young, as an adolescent. And, um, the only difference being like, I didn't have the education around health, despite having a health class in school of like, Really what weight loss would look like. And I didn't have anybody in my corner kind of guiding me towards that healthier lifestyle, not just for looking better, but what I've learned like now about having life healthy lifestyle is that it really does. Like. It really does make life better. Like I'm sure you've experienced that like you're saying like that tripod Like if that tripod falls over like life kind of sucks, you know Like

Benyi: 45:32

yeah,

Haley: 45:32

like I mentioned like I used to cut myself. I used to want to kill myself I used to have to smoke weed every day just to like feel like a person and now i'm at the point where I don't need any of that like It's kind of awesome I can paint I can hang out with my friends. I'm learning to be social which reminds me. I didn't answer that. Um When you ask like the additions that i've Recovered from the only other thing that I forgot to mention was like my recovery from screen addiction and like, you know Like not even not porn specifically, but just like youtube and netflix Like that's something in the last four years that i've definitely struggled with More than I have any of the other things I guess because the other things kind of fell away and in this day and age Um, there's really a lack of structure in our society to where, like, we're all kind of isolated in our lives, even though we have the capability to be together. It's like you walk down the street, everyone's on their phone, you walk into a restaurant, everyone's on their phone, um, and we've literally, that's because we've taken our personal lives. And put them into a social media. So we're taking our connection and putting it on the phone instead of taking it out of the phone and putting it into like being with people. And there's a positive and negative that of course, because we could put out this really like this podcast that you're doing, that's really awesome. And I have friends that do podcasts and a lot of podcasts have definitely like helped me for the better. And there's like cool things you can learn from the internet, but there enough of a balance in society yet to where like. I grew up, like I was born in the year 2000, so I was kind of stuck in a computer in front of a computer and a tv. The second my parents realized like, oh, this'll be a good thing to let me like clean the house for 10 minutes because parenting's really hard. Um, yeah.

Benyi: 47:19

Yeah.

Haley: 47:20

Like that's just one of the things that um, I'll say that's been more of a gradual change for me, and the biggest thing that's helped me recover from that is holistic health. As far as like the smoking it was a little bit different. I was kind of lucky in the sense that the Event that I had was so traumatic that I couldn't smoke after that And it was a really good driver because I didn't want to have panic attacks Um, so unfortunately, like I always wish I could tell people like oh, this is how you quit smoking Like but I can't because like for me it was more traumatic but as far as screen addictions and stuff like that and I think um, actually Uh, I have a friend, Ryan Sprague, he uh, What's the name of his school? The Conscious Cannabis Collective? He has this thing called the Conscious Cannabis Collective. And he's someone that used to be addicted to marijuana and now like has formed this whole school over how to remove the addiction and instead use it as a, as a tool for making your life better in a sense to where you don't need to rely on it anymore. And, um, that's like definitely a good resource that I'd respect that I would recommend to a lot of people is Brian's great school. Um, as well as just the check Institute, because I think, um, Anybody who wants to have a holistic approach, whether it's through the Czech Institute, which I personally think is the best holistic school I've ever seen, it's helped me a lot, um, but there's plenty of others. Like, just having, like you said, The mind, body, spirit approach is kind of the tripod that, you know, keeps our lives afloat. Also, I'm going to turn on my light because it is dark in here, but

Benyi: 48:57

Oh, man, that's funny. I mean, uh, you gave me like the great segue by talking back of the holistic approach. So what, What, uh, what was your motivation to become a, um, a life coach, a coach, a Czech practitioner, you told me. Yeah. So what was, um, how did you end up, uh, going down that path?

Haley: 49:22

So I mentioned podcasts are a great way to connect and they helped me. Um, they really helped me find myself again. Um, and find who I really was supposed, like, I feel like fine, not who I was supposed to be, but find, find like minded people and kind of find that sense of belonging. So, um, I was listening to, cause after I got out of the hospital for my eating disorder, um, I started trying to get like really into nutrition and how to live a healthy life because I'd realized like. I had become so obsessed with losing weight that I lost my mind as well, and that was really hard to overcome. So I wanted to find out, like, how to never be hospitalized again. So I started listening to, um, I don't know who it was first, I think it might have been Joe Rogan. So I started listening to Joe Rogan, who led me to Duncan Trussell, who led me to Aubrey Marcus. And Aubrey Marcus is like, The founder of audit, like he's very much a fitness influencer. Um, some people love them. Some people hate them, but that tends to be the case for a lot of famous people. Like I know there's a lot of people who don't like Joe Rogan right now. Um, Duncan Trussell's not really like trying to preach anything. He's just a comedian. So like, that's a little different, but, um, yeah, so I was listening to Aubrey Marcus's podcast and he had this guy on named Paul check. Um, and. The episode was about God and kind of like the deeper meanings of life, which I mentioned earlier, like, a spiritual awakening is what led me to, um, realize that my life was going downhill and that I needed to stop doing drugs. As well as I also mentioned, um, that one of the things that troubled me growing up, although I didn't get too in depth with it, I did mention like very briefly that when I asked questions to like the religious people, like the religious figures in my life from my Catholic school, like I wasn't getting the answers that I wanted to. So I was kind of always secretly on the spiritual quest that I didn't realize. Amen. I'm listening to Aubrey Marcus's podcast getting all into self improvement and stuff like that and like getting excited and I wanted to be a personal trainer and I already have that mindset and then I listened to Paul Chek's podcast with Aubrey Marcus talking about God and talking about some of the things that I came to understand about God. And um, well came to believe because I everyone has different beliefs of God, but these beliefs aligned with my beliefs. And that was kind of the first time I'd heard that anywhere else other than my spiritual awakening. So the second I heard Paul check talking about it and like saying things that, um, I had only heard once before I was like, I need to know who this man is. Um, at the time, Paul check was about 61 years old and he's still look and still does look pretty much just like this. He made this book when he was 40 years old and he looks like that now. Yeah. So he's really, you know, really healthy. Not only does he look fit because something, um, Czech practitioners talk about a lot is that you could be fit and still be sick, like have a lot of physical things going on, but because you've built a lot of muscle, like that's not just going to all go away in one day. It's not going to show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. These things only show up like more longterm, like with hospitalizations or like. These things could happen anywhere but yeah, so I started listening to paul check's podcast literally religiously because he had answers to spirituality that I wanted to know and in that Um because I came for the spirituality, but I stayed for the health because everything he was talking about i'm like It sounds like he's dealt with Every problem I've had in my life, like in different ways, of course, like he is a, he lived a very different life than I did, but like all the answers that I wanted, like in relationships and in happiness and just in kind of like, um, in harmony, like kind of living a harmonious lifestyle. Like I could see it in him. I could hear it in him and I could hear it in this guest. And I was like, there's something this guy's doing right. So I, I bought this book, how to eat, move and be healthy. And, um, I started there. Uh, I started with the book, it started taking me through like how to stretch regularly, how to build an exercise routine, how to have a good diet, and um, give me a lot of really good tips on that. And then one day I had a dream where I was being seen by Paul Czech and another Czech practitioner and they were doing an assessment on me. Because when you first see a Czech practitioner, they're going to assess all the areas of your life. And I woke up from that dream and I thought, I should become a Czech practitioner. Like I want to fix all these problems. And I could go and get a Czech practitioner myself, but like they had all these advertisements about how it was a really good career path and like something that anybody could do. And I was like, why not? So I signed up and, um, I didn't wind up sticking with the first program I signed up for. And actually I still haven't finished any of my certifications, but I've been very active in the community. I lead a discord, um, for Czech practitioners, like, To talk and to connect. We'd have calls once a week where we talk about, um, anything from our personal lives to clients. And there's a couple solid, like 10 members. Um, I wasn't the initial founder of that group, but I was recently just like kind of handed the reins because I was the one maintaining everything. So they're like, here you go. Like you can take care of this now. Um, so yeah, so I decided, so as far as my journey now, since I said, like, I'm not certified yet, I'm still kind of figuring out what certifications are going to be best for me going forward. It's hard to want to be an entrepreneur in this day and age, as well as even though I have such a strong love of holistic health, like, Um, my loves of music and art kind of come first for me. So like, I'm in the space of like, how do I make a living? How do I spread the good word of holistic health? And how do I do the things that I love to do? And like you and I both live on Long Island, New York, and you know how expensive that is. So it's like, I'm really trying to take it step by step. And there's this. Separate program that I think, um, they've helped a lot of veterans in like their struggle with PTSD and a lot of other people deal from a lot of heal from other health issues. And that is, um, listening to smile by Ian Morris. They are a sound healing company and they do things better than any sound healers I've ever seen. Like, I'm not sure if you've been doing sound healing yourself, but there's a lot of them popping off in the Long Island spiritual community. And I think it's great. Yeah, I just think that's it. Sorry.

Benyi: 56:13

I said, go ahead. Sorry. I didn't mean to cut you. I say, yes, I've been to like a couple, like sound bath and stuff. Yeah,

Haley: 56:19

I'll be cool. I'm sorry. I'm not the information, man. Um, so, but that's cool that you've been to them. I definitely find them to be very relaxing, but there's, there's nothing like Ian Morris's work. I think. Um, he definitely like take sound healing to a new level. And there's this program to where I could become a meditation facilitator through them, which is a path that I'm like highly considering and kind of figuring out how to build the finances for. And I think it's my next step as far as becoming a practitioner. And as far as the corrective holistic exercise, like the check Institute, um, I'm still always going to be a part of it. I just, I'm still at this place where like figuring out exactly what I want to do is challenging, a little overwhelming, but I'm doing it, you know, like I'm doing Tai Chi every day again, and I'm hoping, um, I'm hoping that I'm gonna just kind of find the right opportunities to do what it is I really love to do. And in the meantime, um, I work in child care, like I'm a daycare teacher assistant, and I think every daycare teacher assistant and everyone working in daycare or with a child needs this book. Because like as I shared with my story, um, it's very easy for children to teach themselves and I think independent learning is great. Like I think children should learn a lot of these things on their own, otherwise you're kind of clipping their wings and they'll never be able to fly. But, they need true, proper guidance, and the things that I've learned through the Czech Institute have been monumental for me really realizing what it is to be a responsible person, and I never really had a sense of responsibility growing up, like, I was able to get away with a lot of stuff because of the school system and everything, so, um, Yeah, I think it really starts in childhood and I think holistic health should be something that everyone should pick up. So like, regardless of how much of a Czech practitioner I become, um, which I'm still kind of exploring and experimenting with it. Um, I, I will always be an advocate for the teachings that I will always be a, uh, what's the word? I don't know a different word, but I'm always going to be talking about it because it's changed my life. So,

Benyi: 58:41

yeah, I see. Um, are you familiar with the concept of Ikegai? It's the Japanese word.

Haley: 58:48

Yes! So,

Benyi: 58:50

yeah, because you're, you're looking for your EK guy right now for the audience, for those who don't know, the EK guy is the intersections of, um, for concepts, um, uh, for, for areas of who, which are, what do you love, what you're good at, what you can be paid for. And what the world needs. So the interact interaction of those four elements constitute the EK guy. And I think that's what you're looking for, you know, because when you're saying, well, I, I want to finish the program, but I'm not sure I'm going to be paid. You know, it's a little bit costly and, uh, Uh, I'm doing these to get paid, which is pretty cool, like, you know, like, and, uh, yeah, that's a, that's a good quest to be on, you know, and, uh, especially in this day age where, um, being a holistic life coach teacher is such a great area. Like I want to bring out our mutual friend, Josie, who was a previous guest, the podcast. And I remember asking her like, how the hell do you price your services? Because like a Tony Robbins can Tony, I think Tony Robbins is coming in New York in July at the end of the month for August. No, no, no, no. He's coming in September. And I was looking like the packages. Like I was like, what? Like, okay. So there is a deal for like two people. And I it's like 15 or 20. Two grand for like a three day, like seminar and I'm like, what the hell, like, you know, wonder how, but like nobody who starts out of school can build, you know, two grand a person just for being a life coach, you know, like that's, that's an area where like, um, Um, it's very hard to make a living from, you know,

Haley: 1:00:57

um, it's funny you bring that up. I'm so glad you did because I remember listening to that podcast and being like, Betty, something you don't know and something a lot of people don't know is that Paul, uh, Paul check the founder of the school that I'm talking about was Tony Robbins life coach.

Benyi: 1:01:12

Oh, really?

Haley: 1:01:14

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. That's a huge part about how Tony Robbins came to be Tony Robbins, and Paul Czech also charges a lot of money. However, what I would say, I don't know much about Tony Robbins, but I will say that Paul Czech, like, He's very serious about what he does. I mentioned like he looks how he looks at the age that he is and he could lift more than a lot of people like half his age. So, um, there's definitely something to it. And like, I, I'm so glad you mentioned icky guy as well, cause that's definitely exactly what I'm looking for. And I think remembering that term is going to help me like help me stay, stay on that path. Because I kind of forgot that that word existed and that it has been exactly what I've been looking for is the way to Balance all those four pillars, but um, oh man, I had a train of thought. Yeah, so like No, I don't remember this.

Benyi: 1:02:12

Alright, uh, meanwhile, when, um, it's going to get back to you, do you want to talk to us about the events that you and Josie sometimes have? Like, uh, in, you guys throw events together, like art club, you have art club or like, uh, art holistic meditation thing that you do. I think, what, once a month or once a week?

Haley: 1:02:36

So, our club is once a week, um, it's funny you mentioned the meditation, cause actually, uh, So our club started as kind of like this more public group for like the Wellnown Spiritual Event group chat, and then, like, very quickly, as like, only a certain amount of people kind of tended to show up and be consistent, it kind of just became like our group of friends. Um, I'm still open to like having people I'm kind of figuring it out Like I mentioned I'm figuring out my icky guy So it is still once a week and there was a last summer we did like meditation along with it and that was really cool um This summer so far like we just started up again recently. We've had two art clubs so far this summer And they've been fun, but it's really just kind of been like me and my group of friends at this point um I'm not sure what Josie's doing as far as her coaching. Um, I know she was doing three weekly calls and she's currently pregnant with her second child. So she's got a lot going on.

Benyi: 1:03:34

Um, yeah, Josie, we

Haley: 1:03:37

love you Josie. Um, Josie's the reason I'm here on this podcast today. So that was a real good for anyone listening. Um, but yeah, like as far as me, I think. And like, this is what I was saying earlier, I'm s Part of me is still kinda in this seed of doubt that I'm trying to deal with, it's like, I wanna do the sound meditations and the sound healings, I think it'll be a really great platform for me. I am just A little intimidating I think like i'm the kind of person that really needs to think out everything So I believe my plan as of right now is to kind of think About it and really plan the whole thing what exactly it would look like and then come to a decision on if that's exactly What I want to do. Um in the meantime, though, like I have an instagram, uh, if anybody ever wants to get involved in the Check process or has any questions like Just need some support. Like I would love to try and point them in the right direction. Like as just the general consultant, um, in that field. Uh, and if anyone on Long Island's ever looking for someone to do art with, like I'm around art and music, those are, those are my trades. So, yeah,

Benyi: 1:04:52

That's awesome. All right. We are about to wrap up soon and we hit like the hour mark. Yes, I had another question before we wrap up. Um, we talking about the holistic approach, the mind, the body and the spirit. Um, what's your balance like right now? If you were to rate them in, I don't know, you can use percentage or you can use letter grades. Where are What's your, your three right now? How

Haley: 1:05:27

you read those three aspects? I would say my spirit's pretty strong. I've been doing a really good job. I mean, I think they're all balanced. That's what I would say. I think they're all balanced, um, I guess my body is kind of the one that's like kind of lagging behind because of the strategic stuff that I'm going through, and, um, I would attribute that to just like, I've been in the Czech Institute for three years, but I've had a hard time applying the teachings, and I wish like, there were some things that I did earlier, but I didn't know, and I know now. So I would say that my mind and my spirit are kind of on top and my body's just like trying to catch it up. It's getting there. We're really getting there and I'm excited for it. And I feel really great in that respect. I also just want to add, um, breathing is so important and it's something I feel like I didn't do in this episode a lot. Just kind of like, it's the end of the day. I'm not really As conscious as it could be. And I kind of spoke a lot. So I apologize.

Benyi: 1:06:28

No, it's great. Like, you know, I listen, I like to listen, like, you know, that's what I don't interrupt guests. Even when, you know, unless like, I don't know, unless it's like you going on a tangent, but you didn't, you didn't allow it all. So, you know, please go, go along, speak, please.

Haley: 1:06:47

Thank you. I really, uh, I, I try hard not to talk too long. Cause listening to podcasts, and for anyone else who does, sometimes people could talk for, like, two to five minutes, and it's just like, uh, so I try to wrap it up, and I try to breathe when I talk, so I'm not. over speaking. Um, but yeah, like that's, that's my answer to your question and my little tidbit. So,

Benyi: 1:07:10

all right. Yeah. Um, so last thing is to give you the floor and share with us. So like, you know, now you can share your Instagram or anything that you know, you have going on and you know, before you would like to, the closing statement is yours.

Haley: 1:07:31

Okay, beautiful. Um, for anyone who was interested in this book, I talked about how to eat, move and be healthy, uh, by Paul Czech. Um, they actually just came out with their 20th anniversary special edition, which is out on the Czech Institute. Other than that, uh, if anyone's listening to listen to smile listening to smile It's just listening to smile. com really great sound meditations over there. Um as far as connecting with me i'm available on instagram at The healthy creative underscore and that's my handle for instagram um, and again, like feel free to I I post content about like Um, just kind of lifestyle updates as well as like art and music updates Um, and I have the same handle on my youtube where i'm about to release a podcast that I did with friends Um last year It was my friend's podcast. It's called calm conscious conversations. It's a couple of those Czech practitioners that I mentioned over on the discord that I run. Um, and we just have like calm, conscious conversations about life and about our experiences as Czech practitioners. So if you want to hear more stories like mine and more people who are trying to make a difference in this world, I would go over to my YouTube and check those out. The next. Two episodes are going to be posted on Saturday and the third episode has me in it so you could catch me on the third episode this Saturday. I'm going to post that.

Benyi: 1:08:59

All right. Uh, yeah, I'm gonna make sure to put all the links, uh, to the poll checkbook and to, uh, the smile and to, um, uh, the podcast in the description for the audience. And yeah, so, It was a very lovely conversation about an hour, 10 minutes. Look at that. Like if you buy, you know, like, uh, very, uh, insightful. I learned a lot. I learned things about you that I didn't know. And I really appreciate you being my guest.

Haley: 1:09:32

Thank you so much for having me. It really did flow by. I appreciate it too. And you're an awesome host. I'm looking forward to, uh, sharing your podcast with people as well, because I, uh, I'm going to share this episode like heck when it comes out. And, um, yeah, I think I, I think that alcoholism and the road to redemption is something that more people in society should be talking about. So I'm happy that you're getting back on the wagon as far as doing this podcast. And, um, yeah, thank you so much for having me, Benny.

Benyi: 1:10:05

All right. Thank you guys. And that's it for this episode. I will see you guys later. Bye.