The Proverbs 31 Woman Was a Businesswoman (And We've Been Getting Her Wrong)

Is ambition really rebellion — or have Christian women just been told that long enough to believe it?

In this episode of Grit and Grace, we're taking an honest, unfiltered look at Proverbs 31 — not the coffee mug version, not the framed cross stitch on a farmhouse wall — the actual woman described in scripture. And what she was doing will surprise you.

She bought land. She evaluated merchandise. She reinvested profits. She supplied merchants wholesale. She built wealth and she strengthened her household — and scripture never once said she had to choose between the two.

For Christian women in business and faith-driven entrepreneurs, this episode is the conversation nobody in your church circle is having. Because somewhere along the way, ambition got labeled as rebellion, competence got labeled as pride, and the marketplace got labeled as masculine — and none of that is biblical.

Host Daphne Boyd reads Proverbs 31:10–31 side-by-side in the King James Version and the Amplified Bible, unpacking what the original language actually says about this woman's capability, intelligence, and economic leadership. She also shares a deeply personal story about the often-quoted line "her husband is known in the city gates" — and what that covenant partnership looks like in a modern marriage when a wife's strategy and skill quietly build her husband's reputation and their family's legacy.

This episode is for the woman who:

• Feels guilty for being ambitious
• Has been told she's "too much"
• Loves God AND loves building something
• Wonders whether her desire to lead, create, and generate income is outside of God's will

It's not. It never was.

The Proverbs 31 woman wasn't confined to invisibility. She was commissioned for influence. And so are you.

In this episode:

• What Proverbs 31 actually says about women, work, and wealth
• Why the tension between marketplace and motherhood is cultural — not biblical
• The difference between submission and suppression
• Why your ambition may not be a character flaw — it may be obedience
• A personal story about covenant, business, and what "her husband is known in the gates" looks like in real life

Enjoyed this episode?
Follow Grit + Grace in the Marketplace for weekly conversations on business, leadership, faith, and real life.

If this resonated, share it with a woman who’s building something meaningful in this season.

Start here: https://daphneboyd.com

Coaching, resources, and current offers.

Connect with me:
 X: @Web_Cowboys
Instagram: @coach_d_boyd
LinkedIn: daphne-boyd-coaching

Transcript

Introduction to Grit and Grace

Speaker 0:01

Welcome to the Grit and Grace podcast. Where faith, family, and real life leadership meet. I'm your host, Daphne Boyd. Let's dive in. There's a quiet message that floats around Christian culture. It's rarely said directly, but it's there. Your place is in the home. Your calling is the children. Your ministry is the church nursery, and if you do choose to work, keep it small, keep it soft, keep it safe. A boutique is fine. A little baking business. That's fine. A craft table at the holiday market or in the church picnic. But the real marketplace, the boardroom, the land deals, the contracts, the profit margins. That's not where a Proverbs 31 woman belongs. And somewhere along the way, ambition has gotten labeled as rebellion. Competence has gotten labeled as pride and influence got labeled as dangerous.

Speaker 1:10

But here's what I need to ask us. Have we actually read Proverbs 31?

Buying Land, Trading Goods, Building Wealth

Empowering Women in Business

Balancing Family and Ambition

Redefining Femininity and Strength

Conclusion

Speaker 1:17

Because the woman described there as not timid. She's not sheltered, she's not confined to invisibility. She's buying land. She's planting vineyards, she's trading goods, she's evaluating merchandise, and she's reinvesting profit. That doesn't sound like a hobby, that's a business. So what fascinates me the most is this line, and I love it. Her husband is known in the city gates, but do we understand why he's known? The gates were the place of commerce in those days. Legal matters, civic leadership, public reputation businesses were conducted there. And that's something specially personal to me. So my husband's name is known in our city. His business is respected in our service area, and people call him because they trust our brand. But behind that visibility, behind that reputation. That's marketing, that's strategy, systems positioning. That's years of digital infrastructure that I've built, and that's my work. And when he is honored, we are honored when his name grows, our family grows, when his business thrives, our children and our family is secure. So that's not competition. That's Covenant. And Proverbs 31 paints a picture of exactly that kind of partnership. So today I want to gently challenge the idea that the marketplace is off limits for godly women because scripture does not confine her. It commissions her. Let's talk about that. I don't know about you, but I think a lot of women. Have bought into the idea that the Proverbs 31 woman is an idol. She's idolized into perfection. Like she's this unrealistic, unattainable person that most Christian women will never be, and it's weaponized against women. A lot of women just reject it as unrealistic. And it's reduced to, you know, coffee mugs and cliches and, cute sayings on t-shirts. A lot of women feel like they'll never measure up and that it's outdated. Some women feel like that entire portion of scripture is completely outdated to a woman in the 21st century, right? You have others that demonize it entirely. So my position is it's, it's not fantasy. It's actually function. It's it's character. I am gonna read a portion of the Proverbs 31 woman side by side in the King James version, which is my favorite version of the Bible, and also the Amplified Bible, which gives a little bit more of the Greek and Hebrew definitions in particular words. So, Proverbs 31 will start at verse 10, right here it says, who can find a virtuous woman for her price is far above rubies, the Amplified says, an excellent woman, one who is spiritual, capable, intelligent, and virtuous. Who is he? Who can find her? Her value is more precious than jewels. So she's capable, she's intelligent, she's not passive. Going on to verse 13 and through 16, she seeks wool and flax and works willingly with her hands. She's like the merchant's ships. She brings her food from afar. She considers a field before she buys or accepts it. With her profits, she plants fruitful vineyards, so she sources material, she engages in trade, she evaluates property, she's making purchasing decisions. She's using profit to reinvest into her future. So that doesn't sound like a hobby. That's capital strategy. And I want a woman listening to take note when it says that she is like a merchant. She brings her food from afar. I want you to think about how women enjoy, naturally enjoy shopping. We love going to the grocery store and we source our food from afar. How many times have you bought products and vegetables and fruits that come from outside of the United States or outside of your local area, or how many times do we go shopping and we source materials that are created in other countries or just even outside of our region or state, right? So this is very natural for women to enjoy shopping to a, to a degree, because we are wired to bring our food and to source materials from afar. And the Bible clearly states that. So I just wanna throw that in there. Proverbs 31 verses 17 through 18, she girds her loins with strength, or the amplified says she equips herself with strength. So spiritual, mental, physical fitness for her God-given tasks. And she makes her arms strong. In other words, she works out, she sees that her gain is good and her lamp does not go out at night. So she evaluates profit margins. She works long hours, she builds endurance. And for those of you who are made to feel guilty for taking care of your bodies or considering it vanity. I want you to take note of this verse. She equips herself with strength, spiritual, mental, and physical fitness for her God-given task. So she's definitely taking care of herself. Proverbs 31, verse 24. She makes fine linen. And sells it and delivers girdles into the merchant, or amplified, says, supplies sashes to the merchant. So she manufactures and distributes wholesale. That's not Etsy, that's not a little hobby, that's wholesale. She's supplying merchants with goods. They are using her materials to make and create their products. So that's a message right there for somebody. Proverbs 31 verses 25 through 26. Strength and honor are her clothing and she shall rejoice in time to come. In other words, she smiles at the future of the amplified, says she opens her mouth in skillful and godly wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She is secure in her position. And she's established. The Bible says she smiles at the future. In other words, she knows that what she's doing is going to create a profit. It's going to be a blessing to her, to her family, and to others. Anytime that we make moves that we are confident in, that we feel like God has ordained, that we know that we are fulfilling our calling, that it just makes us smile, it makes us happy, and we can look at that and say even the Proverbs 31 woman smiles at the future. Proverbs 31, verse 31. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her own works. Praise her. In the gates, again, there's the word, the gates. The Amplified says, give her the product of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates of the city. So the gates were where business and civic decisions happened. That's where they were conducted. So her works were visible publicly. She wasn't hiding behind. You know, the children's nursery, her place just wasn't in the home cooking and taking care of her own children, as we are sometimes taught in Christian culture. The Proverbs 31 woman operated in the marketplace. She bought land, she reinvested profits, she traded goods, she managed production, she oversaw a household economy. This is an economic leader. The scripture never says that her place is only in the home. She cared for her household and she built wealth. It was both. The tension we've created is cultural. It's not biblical. The fear of female independence or misapplied headship theology is not biblically based, that fear of female independence. God's not afraid of women being strong, of women being productive, of women being successful. So that should have no place in the church, in Christian circles or even in our home. I tell you there is a difference between submission and suppression. The Proverbs 31 woman, the woman that God has called you to be. The reason that that is even in scripture was she was strategic. She was nurturing, profitable, wise, strong, generous. It's integration. It's not fragmentation. She is all of those things. God is calling us to be all of those things. I want to talk to the woman who feels guilty for being ambitious. The woman who's been told that she's too much. The woman who feels called to something bigger, something outside of her home, and yet feels like maybe this isn't God, because you know I'm supposed to be at home, my place is in the home. I'm not supposed to be doing any business outside the home. I don't know why it's culturally acceptable in Christian circles for women to work at a job, say they are a teacher or they work at a bank, or they work at a retail store, right? It's, it's okay. You're like, okay, that's fine. She's supporting her family. But if a woman is called to business, if she's called to be out in the marketplace to buy land, to serve in politics and change culture. If she's called to change a business industry in the marketplace, in her city, in her region, in her state, if she's called to own multiple businesses and lead others, oh, that's, that's just wrong. She's got it all wrong. Right. I don't know where we've gotten that from. I want women to build wealth without feeling ungodly, without feeling like you're outside of God's will. Because these scriptures plainly show us this is God's will for women. It's not the only thing, but it is a thing. It is something. And I'm not saying every single woman in order to fulfill the Proverbs, 31 calling on their life has to have a business. But I'm saying that desire, that passion, that thing that God's given you to serve others, to help others, that that fire that you feel like when you think about what it is that you do that is God. That is him saying this is the way, walk in it. I have a passion for what I do. I have a passion for marketing. I have a passion for building businesses and you know, tweaking all of these ways that we can organically grow, right? I love SEO. I'm a total nerd. I geek out on that stuff. It is my passion. I love the marketing industry. And I love studying it. I love working in it. I love talking to others. I have a passion. If I don't do it for a period of time, say a vacation or you know, I take, a break over the summer with my kids. I have this burning desire to like get back in and it releases something inside of me and it a gift that God has given me. I realized, but for a long time I felt guilty over it, especially when I first started my agency because. I was struggling with all of these other exterior voices, right? People, out in the world saying in order to be successful, you had to pretty much abandon your family and hustle and work hard and, you know, eat, sleep, and breathe the business, right? 10 x this thing. Okay? But then you had. The other end of the spectrum, and you had people in the church or this were the messages that we receive in the church saying, don't do anything that takes you away from God. Don't do anything that takes you away from your family. Don't do anything that could be perceived as prideful or arrogant or selfish. Right? And women are made to feel like if they have a business, they're being selfish. They're being prideful that they're seeking glory or, recognition for themselves. And the Proverbs 31 chapter doesn't say that at all. In fact, her goal in providing. And working so hard was to strengthen others, was to provide for others, was to bring glory to her husband's name, to provide for her own household. So that misconception needs to be changed. And if you're listening today and you have this burning desire, you have this, this thing inside of your heart that you wanna do, that you feel like I just can't let it go. Like I have all of these ideas and I wanna start a business and I wanna start a brand and I want to serve others in this way, I am giving you permission to do that. I want you to not hold onto those cultural or societal beliefs that in order to be a godly woman, that you have to be a woman only focused on the home. Right? We don't put those same boundaries around our husbands, do we? We don't say our husbands can't be good husbands and fathers if they own a business. We would never think that. We would never, it would never enter our mind. And yet those same thoughts are quietly unspoken to us as women, that in order to be good wives and good mothers and good women of God. That we absolutely should not be running a business. I don't know where that's come from, but I'm here to say that it's wrong and it's unbiblical. The Proverbs 31 woman built wealth and she stewarded that wealth. The marketplace is not masculine. I don't know where we got those ideas from, but the marketplace is not masculine. So somewhere along the way, we have shrunk this Proverbs 31 woman. We turned her into a framed cross stitch on a farmhouse wall, right? She was soft. She was quiet. She was contained. But scripture doesn't describe a woman that's hidden. It describes a woman that's been entrusted with land, with profit, trade, influence, reputation. She built wealth. She stewarded opportunity. She strengthened her household. She operated with wisdom in public. None of that made her less feminine. None of that made her less godly. None of that threatened her marriage. It fortified it. Her husband was known in the gates, not because she was small, but because she was strong. And strength in a woman is not rebellion. It's biblical. If you feel called to build something, if you feel wired to create, to lead, to solve problems, to generate income, that's not a character flaw. It may very well be obedience. The marketplace is not outside of God's design. It's one of the places his people are meant to influence, and I would love to see more of that. You do not have to choose between being a present mother and a powerful builder. You do not have to shrink your capacity to fit someone else's theology. The Proverbs 31 woman was integrated home and marketplace wisdom and strategy, nurture and negotiation. Strength and kindness. And so maybe the real question isn't, should Christian women be in business? Maybe the question is, what happens when we finally stop apologizing for it? Strength and dignity are her clothing, not hesitation, not fear, not permission. Strength and dignity. Let her works. Praise her in the gates. Thanks for spending this time with me on the Grit and Grace Podcast. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the show and share it with another woman who needs it. You can find resources, episodes, and lots more, and Daphne Boyd.com. Until next time, walk with grit and grace.