How to Get What You Want
Your career isn’t built by waiting for someone to notice your value. It’s built by learning how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
You’ve been told your work will speak for itself. Yet despite doing everything asked of you—and more—you’re still feeling overlooked and uncertain about your next step. Leadership isn’t just about managing a team; it’s navigating the complexities of internal relationships and consistently advocating for your growth.
On Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok is your silent partner, empowering you with the mindset and tools to negotiate your career—and life—with intention.
Unlike podcasts that focus on climbing the ladder or hustle culture, this show is for women who want to own their careers authentically. You’ll learn practical strategies for everyday negotiations, from asking for what you deserve to confidently handling tough conversations. Because negotiation isn’t just for raises or promotions—it’s how you navigate every opportunity in your career and beyond.
Susie is a negotiation expert who understands the challenges of being in a male-dominated industry and the struggles women face when advocating for themselves. She’s helped countless professionals unlock their potential and will show you how to do the same.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for your career to happen to you and start creating the opportunities you want, hit follow and join Susie each week to build your confidence, advocate for yourself, and finally Get What You Want.
How to Get What You Want
Skillfully navigate high-stake situations
Awkward conversations, nerve-wracking meetings, or anxiety-inducing negotiations? We've all been there. In this enlightening episode, I spill the beans on skillfully navigating these high-stake situations. Discover the power of understanding your personal 'stake', and how naming these instances as 'high stakes' or 'low stakes' can foster clarity and intention in your approach. Uncover the secrets behind my CLA framework and how it can empower you to handle these potentially overwhelming scenarios with grace and confidence.
This episode will change how you view your daily conversations - from the coffee shop to the boardroom. I'll share with you my insights into leadership leverage, and how understanding the other party's needs can result in successful outcomes. Learn to be your own advocate, negotiate for what you genuinely want and lead with leverage. This episode is your road map to personal and professional empowerment. So, strap in - it's time to level up your negotiation game!
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🚀 Ready to Get What You Want?
Listening is great, but real change happens when you take action. Join my newsletter for exclusive negotiation strategies, scripts, and real-world case studies you won’t hear on the podcast. Sign up now at www.negotiationlove.com—it takes 10 seconds and will change how you view and negotiate forever.
📖 Continue Your Professional Growth with These Resources:
Get my Book: The Art of Everyday Negotiation without Manipulation:
www.susietomenchok.com/the-art-of-everyday-negotiation
Work With Me: Speaking, corporate training, and executive coaching:
www.susietomenchok.com/services
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Remember, negotiation is more than a skill—it’s a mindset.
💕Susie
www.linkedin.com/in/susietomenchok
Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage Podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomonczuk. It's time to be your own advocate and negotiate for what you really want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens each and every day so that you opt in and say yes with confidence. Together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills you, as a leader, needs to become that advocate in growing your professional skills, to increase confidence, gain respect and become the future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high-stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do this. Let's lead with leverage. Hi, welcome, I'm Suzy and you're on our Leaders with Leverage Podcast, and this is just a solo episode and I'm so happy you're here.
Speaker 1:I want to talk about something that's really important to consider, and it's what are stakes like? S-t-a-k-e stakes, like the stakes are high. We have this idea that stakes are something that is labeled for us Like the stakes are high when we have to buy a house, or the stakes are high when we're asking for more money or we're accepting a job offer, and those are things that are definitely high stakes. But let's think about the word stakes, because I actually somebody was asking me about this and I actually looked it up because I was like, what do people say are stakes? And there's not a lot of really refined definitions, but basically the stakes are how you feel when you move into a situation, and so that makes sense for all of those things, because those situations, those ones I just mentioned buying a car, getting a job offer, asking for more money those are high stakes for the majority of us, because it makes us uncomfortable, it makes us nervous, and so the stakes are high when what we're walking into creates this anxiety for us In any way at all, and so that's something to consider. It's not also, if there's something at the end, that's really critical. So your stakes can feel really high if you've been out of work and you're feeling really strapped because of just not having funds coming in and you have monthly bills, and so the stakes could be high if there's only one job offer on the table.
Speaker 1:So all the conditions that go into creating this stressful situation are the stakes, and the reason I wanted to talk about this is because I had an aha moment about this, and that's why, because I thought what a great mindset when we go into any conversation, even if it's a one-on-one, with somebody that works for us, whether it's talking to our partner about something that's been really bothering us or annoying us, whether it's talking about, you know, my parents are in this system living and so having to approach my siblings about who's going to visit and how do we associate some of the things that we have to do for them and how do we agree on who will do it, that can feel really high stakes sometimes because it's my parents. It's something that I really care about deeply. So when you think about a situation and you take a moment and you say, is this high stakes or those things for me? And if you're able to label it as high stakes, I think even getting that clarity can give you the tools or at least the intention that, all right, this is a high stakes thing for me. No judgment by anybody else, nobody has to know why it is, because maybe from the outside it's maybe like what do you mean? That's high stakes, that's not high stakes, it doesn't matter. If you believe it's high stakes, then that's an important engagement you're walking into and that's enough to have a real clear intention about how you're gonna move into it. It's a big deal. Hey there love this podcast. I'm taking 10 seconds out of this episode to ask you to leave an honest review. More reviews on the show help us to reach more professionals who are ready to lead with leverage. Now let's continue the conversation. So I think just that clarity is really key in being able to say all right, I'm gonna spend some time and I'm gonna talk in a future episode about some of the steps you can take when something is high stakes.
Speaker 1:I have a framework called CLAW that I like to think about when I'm walking into a high stakes situation. But it's just taking these moments to evaluate what's making you nervous, thinking about all of the things that you could consider walking in, and just taking that time will give you clarity in the moment, because nothing will be a surprise. So, as you go through your day or your week, try to, when you walk into any situation, say, okay, this is low stakes. For me, this is high stakes. And it's interesting too, because a low stakes situation can quickly become high stakes, and understanding that in the moment can also allow you to recognize a trigger, and a trigger could make you emotional and then create cloudy thinking for you. So an example that I think about is if you go to a one-on-one with one of your direct reports and it's just kind of like same, all same all I do this every week and you think of low stakes. And then you get there and they ask you for more money, or they tell you something that's really hard to hear, or something happens in the situation that you it was unexpected and all of a sudden it may become a high stakes situation for you because it is something you need to be thoughtful about moving through. I hope that makes sense. I think it's a nice tool to use and to think about. So just go into every conversation, every engagement, and label it high stakes or low stakes and think about that.
Speaker 1:Now I'd love to hear from you. Wouldn't that be super fun for me to know how this kind of plays out for you? Is it helpful? Did it make you? What did it do for you? Did it allow you to some dwell time to consider how are you gonna move through? I'm sure you'll have breakthroughs that you can share with me, and I'd love, love, love to hear them. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1:I just wanted to pop in and give you that kind of little snippet of just a perspective that I've been really considering recently and I thought, boy, if more people could think like this. I think that it would just put us in the right frame of mind. And in fact, it brings me back to and maybe this was the genesis of this idea. Maybe it's funny for me that things marinate over weeks and all of a sudden I feel like aha, this just came to me, but it was probably boiling inside. I went to Harvard for a negotiation course it's probably been two months now and they talked about when you consider the interests of the other party. Your ability to move towards success in any engagement is measurably increased just by taking the time thinking about the interests of the other party. So that's why I think there's a huge impact. There's a correlation here. If you take the time, if you identify this is important to me, then you're going to walk through it with more intention.
Speaker 1:Thanks for being here. I so appreciate you. This has been so fun to see kind of whose ear I'm in, so I'd love to hear from you. I'm on LinkedIn. Send me your question. I need topics to talk about. I'm always loving hearing from people, so let me know how this works out for you. Feel free to subscribe so you always get the newest one. I try to keep these pretty short so you can just pop in and out with me and thank you. I appreciate you and I hope that you will go today and negotiate and advocate for yourself.
Speaker 1:Thanks. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Leaders with Leverage. If you're ready to continue your professional growth, commit to accelerating your career development and say goodbye to that anxious feeling in your stomach any time you need to advocate for yourself, then get my book the Art of Everyday Negotiation Without Manipulation. In this book, you'll learn the essential steps to take before entering into any negotiation or conversation, any interaction in your day to day. You'll discover what the other party really needs and be clear about what you're going after. You'll bust through your fears and boost your confidence and embrace that negotiation truly happens all around us. Head to the link in the show notes for more, and you can even get a bonus if you buy it today.
