How to Get What You Want
Your career isn’t built by waiting for someone to notice your value. It’s built by learning how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
You’ve been told your work will speak for itself. Yet despite doing everything asked of you—and more—you’re still feeling overlooked and uncertain about your next step. Leadership isn’t just about managing a team; it’s navigating the complexities of internal relationships and consistently advocating for your growth.
On Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok is your silent partner, empowering you with the mindset and tools to negotiate your career—and life—with intention.
Unlike podcasts that focus on climbing the ladder or hustle culture, this show is for women who want to own their careers authentically. You’ll learn practical strategies for everyday negotiations, from asking for what you deserve to confidently handling tough conversations. Because negotiation isn’t just for raises or promotions—it’s how you navigate every opportunity in your career and beyond.
Susie is a negotiation expert who understands the challenges of being in a male-dominated industry and the struggles women face when advocating for themselves. She’s helped countless professionals unlock their potential and will show you how to do the same.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for your career to happen to you and start creating the opportunities you want, hit follow and join Susie each week to build your confidence, advocate for yourself, and finally Get What You Want.
How to Get What You Want
Are you staying on the back of the elephant as a leader?
Ever wondered how leadership and negotiation go hand in hand? Today we explore this intriguing correlation. This episode will empower you as we scale the ladder of influence from being an individual contributor to managing a team to overseeing an entire landscape as an executive. Our deep dive into leadership will leave you with a novel perspective on your role, whether you are guiding your team from the helm or assisting from the ground.
But we're not done yet! This episode is set to leave you equipped with the knowledge you need to navigate personal and professional negotiations. I'm here to help you unlock your potential and step into the leader you're meant to be. Let's break away from the notion that leadership is about doing everything yourself, and embrace the concept of guiding your team towards success. Don't miss this episode packed with a wealth of knowledge.
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🚀 Ready to Get What You Want?
Listening is great, but real change happens when you take action. Join my newsletter for exclusive negotiation strategies, scripts, and real-world case studies you won’t hear on the podcast. Sign up now at www.negotiationlove.com—it takes 10 seconds and will change how you view and negotiate forever.
📖 Continue Your Professional Growth with These Resources:
Get my Book: The Art of Everyday Negotiation without Manipulation:
www.susietomenchok.com/the-art-of-everyday-negotiation
Work With Me: Speaking, corporate training, and executive coaching:
www.susietomenchok.com/services
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Remember, negotiation is more than a skill—it’s a mindset.
💕Susie
www.linkedin.com/in/susietomenchok
Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage Podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomonczuk. It's time to be your own advocate and negotiate for what you really want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens each and every day so that you opt in and say yes with confidence. Together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills you, as a leader, needs to become that advocate in growing your professional skills, to increase confidence, gain respect and become the future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high-stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do this. Let's lead with leverage. Hi, hi, I'm Suzy. Hi, I'm Suzy. Hi, hi, hi, hi, I'm Suzy. That was a weird introduction. Welcome. Welcome to Leaders with Leverage. I'm so happy that you're here.
Speaker 1:I'm going to talk today about this analogy that my friend Annette so we'll see if she listens had mentioned to me in passing, and I just love it. I've been thinking a lot about it and I've talked to people about it and it's really landed for people because it was a great visual around leadership and I want you to think about this as it relates to your leadership. So it all has to do with an elephant in a safari. And when you think about this and vision this, you know this wide-open, beautiful space of mountainous and it's you know miles and miles and you're responsible for all of this land and it's to keep it healthy, from the crops and the vegetation, but also the wildlife that lives in that area and even the insects and I don't really like insects, but you know they're part of the ecosystem. But when you think about a department being responsible for like this big piece of land, that's the analogy I want to use.
Speaker 1:And so, as an individual contributor, you get a job and we'll just say it's. You know to pick these crops in this one little section, so you're not really sure what you're doing, but you learn, somebody teaches you. You know this is how you pull the branches apart and you pull this out and these are weeds and this is what you stay. You know this is what stays, that you don't pull. And so being an individual contributor is just taking your little section and really honing, doing it well, and every day you get a little faster and people don't have to give you as much guidance anymore. So you feel like you're really successful. When you don't, you can just show up and do your thing and your influence is up. Your influence is to the person above you because that's the person that cares the most about what we're getting done. So the better you are, the better you work. The you know, whether it's speed or quality or whatever it is, the person that you work for really appreciates that. So your influence with them goes up. So what happens when your influence goes up is they give you people are more responsibility.
Speaker 1:So the next section of that area that you're responsible for is a little closer to the elephant. I'm responsible for a couple of those frontline employees that were you just a few months ago. So you're closer. You can kind of hear the guidance from leadership. Because you're closer to the elephant and you're looking out. You're kind of watching them. You're, you're going to the those individual contributors, if they're new, to show them how to the poll or what they need to do in their area that they're responsible for. You keep them safe. You can see beyond because you're closer. You're kind of not always looking down. You're, you're looking out at them so you can Warn them if there's something that's coming up that can affect their, their, their role. And then what happens from there is you get promoted and, if you can just picture, now there's a row paying down off the elephant and you're kind of holding on so that you can have a higher perspective and now you're responsible for all those different people that used to be the individual contributor and then the supervisor, let's just say, and now you're in the manager, mid manager area and you're holding on to the elephant and now you can see a little bit further so you can see the other elephant really really far away. You can see the other departments and their impact that you have and you might be able to hear the leader that's on top of the elephant talking to somebody that's in a different department. So your perspective continues to grow from what you can see visually Of what's going on in your department. You can hear your leader, because you're right there and they're talking directly to you, telling you what you need to know, and sometimes you have to make the choice to jump off the elephant and help somebody.
Speaker 1:But your challenge is staying up on the elephant and figuring out how to articulate what you need to verbally and how do you give guidance in a way that's not telling them what to do, but giving them enough information so they learn on their own. And that's a tough place to be and you have to really think about staying on the elephant. And then, as you get to be an executive, it's like being on the back of that elephant and now you can see the whole horizon. You can see that there's people working, the individual contributors, like you can see them, but you're so far away you can't really see exactly the details they're doing. You can hear kind of some of the things that are going on closer to where you are, your proximity, so you kind of understand what's happening culturally. You can definitely hear like you're on the headset with all of your boss and your peers who are also on their elephants in their different departments, and you can clearly see the landscape and you can tell your people that person that's holding on to the rope the things that they need to know to tell their people. But you have to decide what's important to them, what will make them better at what they're doing. And, gosh, if you're at that executive role, you better not jump off that elephant. It's a higher risk.
Speaker 1:Hey there, love this podcast. I'm taking 10 seconds out of this episode to ask you to leave an honest review. More reviews on the show help us to reach more professionals who are ready to lead with leverage. Now let's continue the conversation. But you know, what's funny is it's a great analogy and people will like totally agree to it and say that is so right and staying on the elephant is the thing that you need to do as an executive.
Speaker 1:But I'll tell you, just last week I was talking to an executive who said very proudly every time there's an escalation, I am the first on the phone and I tell my people don't worry about it, I got this because I know more than anybody else and I'm faster than anybody else. I think is so much faster. Oh, it's so easy for us to jump off the elephant and just go back and do what came really easy for us, even satisfying to us. But we have to be careful. How does that make that person feel that's holding on to the elephant, that's working so hard at holding on themselves, and this leader just jumps off to kind of fulfill their own satisfaction that they're able to jump in. So leadership is really hard and I also think that leadership is the role that you're in and the company definitely tells you exactly how you need to lead or you know exactly what you're responsible for. I'll say it that way they don't tell you how to lead, but they tell you what you're responsible for and you need to motivate people.
Speaker 1:But leadership goes beyond that because when you become an executive, those people that are on the teams with the other elephants they can still see you when they go on breaks. They talk about your effectiveness, they talk about you, so your influence goes beyond the earshot of the people that work for you. So you have a responsibility to more than just your team and I see so many leaders just get so in their lane because they get so good at what they do, whether they're running an area of the business that is really technology focused and they're a technologist and they've come up the ranks because of their knowledge and expertise and they've been great leaders in motivating people, because they're motivating people that are similar to them from a technology and mindset and being geared that way. But it goes beyond that because once you get to that point in your career, leadership is a choice to stay up on the elephant. Don't take credit and don't get the adrenaline from jumping off and doing it yourself, letting the other people get that satisfaction and watching them succeed or watching how they're doing it and being like, wow, that was not the way I would have done it, but interesting, staying up on the elephant and being quiet.
Speaker 1:I remember my coach told me early in my career that you can tell people who are wise. They're the quiet ones in the room. They're the quiet ones in the room. They're the people that are just observing because they don't feel like they have anything to prove anymore. I really think that that is something that doesn't just come naturally. I mean, maybe after many years you just you're like it doesn't matter anymore. But I think that that's something that we should consider as leaders is how do we shut up a little bit more, listen a lot more? I think that we believe we listen a lot more than we really do. Don't forget that 70% of the time you should be listening, 30% of the time you should be talking.
Speaker 1:So you think about being on that elephant and you're just looking out and spending time, because you know those executives should be thinking strategy, should be looking out, shouldn't be worrying at looking down, to be trusting the people that are right on the elephant, right there, and really cheering on and giving encouragement to all of them, but being really mindful of the guidance that they give. Not telling them what to do, but really coaching them so that they can become self-sufficient, so that they can make their way to that top place as well. Make a seat for them. That's what your job is. I just love that. Thank you, annette.
Speaker 1:She is brilliant entrepreneur that runs a big company and I just love that analogy so much because I can just see it and I think it's great language if you share that story with your team so that you can say did you just jump off the elephant? Should you have? Was that the right decision? Or should I stay down the elephant? Because I'll tell you when the heat, when the heat happens, that's when you have to go. Okay, what's going on? This is stressful. We got, if I got to figure this out, I need to stay up on the elephant, and that's super hard to do. When the when, then crap hits the van, it is so hard to not just jump off that elephant and just Quickly do what you need to do to get everything set again. But that is not the long, the long game, that's a short game. Let me know how you use this analogy, how it lives in real life, when people are talking about Staying on the elephant, hanging on to the side, and just remember, it's all about being able to see the horizon, deciding what you need to tell the team how to frame it to him, and just being encouraging so that they can become the next leader that has the ability to have that challenge as well.
Speaker 1:Thanks so much for being here. I'm just thrilled that you you I have I'm in your ear today and I hope this was helpful to you. I think it's really important for us to take time, take space, to consider different ways of taking a message like this and seeing how it applies in our every day. I'd love to hear from you. I'm on LinkedIn. I'd love for you to reach out to me. That'd be amazing. If you want to join my newsletter, go to my website to do Tom and check, comm and Sign up. I send something every Monday and it's really just kind of what I was on my heart. So Thanks for being here.
Speaker 1:Share this podcast if you think somebody needs to hear it, somebody that needs to think about the elephant, and Let me know how you use it in the language in your day today. This has been leaders with the average. I Appreciate you being here and don't forget when you use negotiation every day. It increases your confidence, which helps you understand your value, and it allows you to raise your hand so you can opt in and advocate for yourself. So go negotiate, thanks.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to this week's episode of leaders with leverage. If you're ready to continue your professional growth, commit to accelerating your career development and say goodbye to that anxious feeling in your stomach Anytime you need to advocate for yourself, then get my book the art of everyday negotiation without manipulation. In this book, you'll learn the essential steps to take before entering into any Negotiation or conversation, any interaction. In your day-to-day. You'll discover what the other party really needs and be clear about what you're going after. You'll bust through your fears and boost your confidence and embrace that negotiation truly happens all around us. Head to the link in the show notes for more, and you can even get a bonus if you buy it today.
