How to Get What You Want
Your career isn’t built by waiting for someone to notice your value. It’s built by learning how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
You’ve been told your work will speak for itself. Yet despite doing everything asked of you—and more—you’re still feeling overlooked and uncertain about your next step. Leadership isn’t just about managing a team; it’s navigating the complexities of internal relationships and consistently advocating for your growth.
On Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok is your silent partner, empowering you with the mindset and tools to negotiate your career—and life—with intention.
Unlike podcasts that focus on climbing the ladder or hustle culture, this show is for women who want to own their careers authentically. You’ll learn practical strategies for everyday negotiations, from asking for what you deserve to confidently handling tough conversations. Because negotiation isn’t just for raises or promotions—it’s how you navigate every opportunity in your career and beyond.
Susie is a negotiation expert who understands the challenges of being in a male-dominated industry and the struggles women face when advocating for themselves. She’s helped countless professionals unlock their potential and will show you how to do the same.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for your career to happen to you and start creating the opportunities you want, hit follow and join Susie each week to build your confidence, advocate for yourself, and finally Get What You Want.
How to Get What You Want
Elevate your communication impact
What if you could transform your communication skills into a powerful tool for effective leadership? Get ready to step into a fresh perspective on communication as we delve into a fascinating chat I had with one of my clients. We explore the magic of questions and how they can be leveraged to understand others better, make them feel heard and valued, and build stronger relationships.
In this episode, I invite you to learn about the art of structuring thoughts and messages to grab attention, convey your ideas clearly, and successfully elicit responses. Understanding the role of a headline in your communication, be it in meetings or emails, can make an unforgettable impression. Tune in for an enlightening episode on leading with leverage through effective communication.
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🚀 Ready to Get What You Want?
Listening is great, but real change happens when you take action. Join my newsletter for exclusive negotiation strategies, scripts, and real-world case studies you won’t hear on the podcast. Sign up now at www.negotiationlove.com—it takes 10 seconds and will change how you view and negotiate forever.
📖 Continue Your Professional Growth with These Resources:
Get my Book: The Art of Everyday Negotiation without Manipulation:
www.susietomenchok.com/the-art-of-everyday-negotiation
Work With Me: Speaking, corporate training, and executive coaching:
www.susietomenchok.com/services
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Remember, negotiation is more than a skill—it’s a mindset.
💕Susie
www.linkedin.com/in/susietomenchok
Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage Podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomonczuk. It's time to be your own advocate and negotiate for what you really want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens each and every day so that you opt in and say yes with confidence. Together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills you, as a leader, needs to become that advocate in growing your professional skills, to increase confidence, gain respect and become the future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high-stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do this. Let's lead with Leverage. Hi and welcome. This is Leaders with Leverage. I'm your host, suzy Tomonczuk. I'm so happy you're here. I also want to do a quick shout-out. My parents have found this podcast and they said that now, somehow, magically, I keep appearing on their YouTube channel over and over, so I think them, along with people that are of their age, are probably starting to listen to this podcast, so welcome. That just made my day when they said they listened to me. So thank you for being here. Everyone, everyone's, welcome here.
Speaker 1:I thought I'd jump on and just talk about a conversation I had with a client of mine earlier. He is a very accomplished sales leader and has been a leader for a long time. I'll say his name is Ray and Ray and I. He came to me. I've worked with his organization for a while and his boss had asked that he work with me one-on-one because he needed to work on his communication skills. Now Ray is the nicest guy, one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, very warm, I think that's why he's such a great salesperson, because he builds trust really quickly and exceptionally well. He is articulate, but he tends to keep talking and not holding space when I've seen him. So I talked to him about taking a look at how it communicates, and I wanted to talk about that today because we had a few ah-has together as we talked through what's working for him and one of the shifts that he had is that. Well, let me just say one of the things that we realized is when he's in his head, he's always thinking about what he needs to say next, and when he's in a conversation, he's listening intently and he wants to add to that and that might feel from the other side that he's just waiting to talk, and so we talked about instead of in his head, because it all starts here in our minds and our mindset shifts and if, instead of thinking about the next thing he's going to say to be additive, start thinking and shifting to say to think about what is the next question I'm going to ask and focus on the next question and not the response, and that habit might not feel intuitive.
Speaker 1:When he was talking and adding to the conversation, he felt like it was a plus. But to the other person it kind of feels like you're detracting from what they're saying, sometimes like you're not really listening. And when you ask questions, what that does is it brings the focus back to the other person. And questions are magic. We talk about questions and how great they are, but what they do is they really get that person to think about the answer and that draws that person to feel valued just because you're asking them for more contribution, and it gets you to understand what's in their head. And then it also changes the cadence a bit so that it doesn't just kind of ping-pong back and forth. So we talked about that and how it's really that frame around what is the next thing I'm going to ask instead of say. So that really struck with him and what he also realized was he's really good at that when he's in front of the customer, but he doesn't apply that same best practice when he's in front of his boss or in a staff meeting with all his peers. So we talked about using that technique but also showing up differently.
Speaker 1:So the next thing we talked about was he tends to give the context of the situation. So when his boss asks for an update, or if he's in an all hands and they're kind of going around the room and giving an update on things, he tends to set the stage and I said, start with a headline. So instead of saying, well, you know, the team got together last Monday and we had this meeting, and like giving the context of it, start with we are about to land the biggest deal that the organization, our group, has seen in the last three months and then give the color around it, help the audience understand where you're going, and then give the context around it, or pause after you say that and see what questions they have. What do you mean by that? Tell us more. That way, you're instead of you kind of lose people when you start to ramble and give them context. If you start with this like great headline, you get them to lean in and ask hey there, love this podcast. I'm taking 10 seconds out of this episode to ask you to leave an honest review. More reviews on the show help us to reach more professionals who are ready to lead with leverage. Now let's continue the conversation.
Speaker 1:So we talked about doing that in those kind of staff meetings. Don't become victim to following this regular way, because it's a way we've always done it. How can you show up differently? That will differentiate you from your peers, from people around you. It also shows confidence. It gives the impression perception of competence as well, and so we talked about also using that same version in emails, because he tends to do the same thing. He'll give an update on something and write a whole paragraph about that, one bullet for his boss, and I said let's change the narrative for you. Just put the bullets and give her what she needs to know, and then put a little note and says if you want more detail, see below. And so give all the meat and all the things that you want your boss to know at the top and then, if they want more or they have more questions, answer them below. So he thought that was really good too, because his boss is so busy Sometimes she doesn't have the ability to allow him to go through everything in great detail, but he has a need to do that he wants to share so much. So it serves both purposes. It allows her to be quick, listening or understanding and pulling what she needs and then, if she has the time or she has any questions, she can read below and then, just being thoughtful about being concise.
Speaker 1:So he and I talked about taking time before those meetings especially if you don't think quickly on your feet, to think about how you want to structure that update. And maybe it's an outline that you put in your head and maybe it's not before the meeting, maybe it's during the meeting, before it gets to you or somebody's bringing up something and and getting this regular Outline as a, as a default, that you go to when you're gonna talk about what your responses. So say that it's an open discussion and they're talking about a Specific topic and you have an idea. Think about how you want to structure that so they understand it. So you say, oh, I would like to add to the, the conversation and this is my idea and throughout the idea and then give context to it. You want to help people understand where you're going so they can follow you along the way. So clarity and concise. So the things were that we talked about were, instead of thinking about what you're gonna say next, what question you're gonna ask, making sure that you're really honoring the other person and building that relationship at the same time, and Then thinking about how do you show up differently, having a headline and giving the meat of the matter later, in either the email or Putting it out there and letting them ask questions, and then really thinking about how, in those times where you don't have the structure to Plan, how do? How are you concise when you're trying to answer a question or be a part of a discussion, a brainstorming or a project Update that you're not leading, have an outline in your head about how you like to respond to things, give them your idea and Then give them more context if they need it.
Speaker 1:Communication is something that you know. They say and I may have shared this before that we believe that we are understood at a percentage that's 80% plus, but the reality is, as they looked at research and they talked to people, they really only understand 20%. So the focus on communication as a leader, as a peer, as a subordinate Communication in your style Is important to evaluate All along the way because, just like leadership, communication is something we can always improve, and Especially different styles. And so, checking in and finding what's working, seeing how people are understanding and responding to you, make space for that and think about what you need to adjust. And you know what, when you we get so used to how we communicate with one another especially if you've worked with people for a Long time that if you do something different, they're gonna notice, because you're disrupting that pattern, that you're that normal, that normal, the normal way that you Communicate. So when you change it, You're gonna allow them to see it differently or understand it differently, and it gives you that great feedback. But it may give you some additional influence because you're noticed, appreciated as well, because it makes it easier for the other person to understand. So thanks to Ray. Thank you, ray.
Speaker 1:I told you I was going to talk about this today and I didn't actually ask for permission. But somebody told me the other day that they got on the phone with me and was asking me for some advice and she said you know, I know that this might become a topic of one of your podcasts, because I do hear some things that you talk about with other people, and I do it because I think it's important for us to learn from one another, and the only way to really understand what people are going through is to share stories of others, because you know what so often it is. It's a shared experience, and communication is certainly one of those things that we can all get better at. So, thanks for joining me, I appreciate you and I would love to hear from you. So, uh, bring me on LinkedIn, send me a DM, let me know what's on your mind, let me know what you want me to talk about. It's super helpful to know that you're here, and thank you for telling me you are. Uh, it's been such a thrill to have people say that I've been in their ear. It's kind of overwhelming and a little humbling. Well, a lot of humbling, a little overwhelming. I should have just flipped those, but I really appreciate that so much. So, thanks for joining me.
Speaker 1:I'm Susie, tom and Chuck, and this has been Leaders with Leverage Until next time, and just remember, I just appreciate you. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Leaders with Leverage. If you're ready to continue your professional growth, commit to accelerating your career development and say goodbye to that anxious feeling in your stomach Anytime you need to advocate for yourself, then get my book the Art of Everyday Negotiation Without Manipulation. In this book, you'll learn the essential steps to take before entering into any negotiation or conversation, any interaction. In your day to day, you'll discover what the other party really needs and be clear about what you're going after. You'll bust through your fears and boost your confidence and embrace that negotiation truly happens all around us. Head to the link in the show notes for more, and you can even get a bonus if you buy it today.
