How to Get What You Want
Your career isn’t built by waiting for someone to notice your value. It’s built by learning how to advocate for yourself with confidence.
You’ve been told your work will speak for itself. Yet despite doing everything asked of you—and more—you’re still feeling overlooked and uncertain about your next step. Leadership isn’t just about managing a team; it’s navigating the complexities of internal relationships and consistently advocating for your growth.
On Get What You Want, Susie Tomenchok is your silent partner, empowering you with the mindset and tools to negotiate your career—and life—with intention.
Unlike podcasts that focus on climbing the ladder or hustle culture, this show is for women who want to own their careers authentically. You’ll learn practical strategies for everyday negotiations, from asking for what you deserve to confidently handling tough conversations. Because negotiation isn’t just for raises or promotions—it’s how you navigate every opportunity in your career and beyond.
Susie is a negotiation expert who understands the challenges of being in a male-dominated industry and the struggles women face when advocating for themselves. She’s helped countless professionals unlock their potential and will show you how to do the same.
If you’re ready to stop waiting for your career to happen to you and start creating the opportunities you want, hit follow and join Susie each week to build your confidence, advocate for yourself, and finally Get What You Want.
How to Get What You Want
Why multitasking makes you a better negotiator
Have you ever caught yourself checking emails during a conversation or planning your next meal while on a call? If so, this episode is the wake-up call you didn't know you needed. Join me to take a deep dive into the elusive art of presence and the illusion that is multitasking. Together, we'll uncover the compelling reasons why our brains resist task-juggling and the impact this has on leadership and communication.
Leaning into the crux of negotiations and meetings, I'll share with you the negotiator's secret sauce: undisturbed focus. We'll unpack a treasure trove of practical tips for ridding yourself of interruptions and maximizing mental sharpness, ensuring your interactions aren't just successful, but memorable. So, gear up to embrace this mindset and become the future leader you're meant to be—one fully engaged conversation at a time.
In this episode, you'll learn the following:
1. The significance of being fully present and attentive during conversations.
2. The negative effects of multitasking.
3. How to reframe multitasking by adopting a negotiator's mindset.
_____________________
🚀 Ready to Get What You Want?
Listening is great, but real change happens when you take action. Join my newsletter for exclusive negotiation strategies, scripts, and real-world case studies you won’t hear on the podcast. Sign up now at www.negotiationlove.com—it takes 10 seconds and will change how you view and negotiate forever.
📖 Continue Your Professional Growth with These Resources:
Get my Book: The Art of Everyday Negotiation without Manipulation:
www.susietomenchok.com/the-art-of-everyday-negotiation
Work With Me: Speaking, corporate training, and executive coaching:
www.susietomenchok.com/services
_____________________
Remember, negotiation is more than a skill—it’s a mindset.
💕Susie
www.linkedin.com/in/susietomenchok
Welcome to the Leaders with Leverage podcast. I'm your host and negotiation expert, suzy Tomachuk. It's time to be your own advocate and confidently navigate what you want out of your career, not simply the next role or additional compensation. I want to show you that negotiation happens every day in plain sight, so you need to be ready to opt in and say yes with confidence. This happens by adopting a negotiator's mindset, and I'll show you how, together with other business leaders, you'll learn the essential skills and shifts in mindset you need to know. You will be empowered to naturally advocate for yourself and grow your professional skills, and while you're practicing along the way, you'll increase your confidence and gain respect, all while you're growing into that future leader you're poised to be, and when you face a high-stakes situation, you're ready, no matter how high those stakes are. So let's do it. Let's lead with leverage. Hey, welcome. This is Leaders with Leverage. I'm your friend. I'm your host. I'm Suzy Tomachuk. I'm so happy that you're here. I am still humbled about being in your ear and the fact that you've taken time to just hear what's on my mind, and thank you for letting me know that you're listening. So I was actually. It's a great transition, unexpectedly.
Speaker 1:I have just been thinking about multitasking lately and it actually came to mind to me. There's a friend of mine she's kind of a client that I respect just so much. I hear about her leadership through others. I respect her as a leader. She's really high up in the organization, she's a Senior Vice President, and I've always thought she is so intentional about being really present. She I talk to her most of the time via Zoom and it always strikes me that she is looking right into the camera every time she's talking to me and I can feel that she is hanging on every word that I say, and so when I meet with her, I am so intentional about showing up in the same way and she's the same way in person too, like she's one of those people that you feel is looking right into your eyes and thinking about what you're saying. It's funny because it also reminds me of my father. Whenever I talk to him on the phone, he says are you multitasking? You should just be listening to me on the phone in all my life.
Speaker 1:Even so, I had to learn. If I was going to multitask when I'm talking to my dad which I feel bad about now because he actually is a listener, I would fold laundry or something quiet, because if I even unloaded the dishes he'd be like can you just put those distractions down and listen to me? So anyway, I was talking to this woman the other day on the phone and she was still at her desk. I can't remember why we didn't jump on Zoom, but for some reason we were talking on the phone, which is just not normal or normal way, and she was multitasking. I could hear her multitasking and I could tell because her answers weren't as right on as normal. Her comments back were very uh-huh like just they didn't always fit exactly what I said. It was almost like she knew I was just giving her an update about basically my family or my weekend and so she didn't really need to be paying attention then.
Speaker 1:And I remember getting off the phone and I still admit you left such an impression on me and I thought, oh my gosh, how often do I do that? Because now that I take phone calls because I do get Zoom fatigue and it is really nice to be on the phone because you don't have to be using all your senses you can just kind of just be thoughtful in that moment when you're on the phone. But I do multitask because it almost feels liberating that you don't have to be on camera. So I was like, okay, suzy, you need to think about that and be really thoughtful about it. And I wanted to talk about this because I think people don't realize. You know, I have coached people one-on-one and when they're finished talking I can tell they're doing something else because they're just not connected to the conversation. So if you think you multitask, well, you might be wrong and especially if you're in a place of influence, people aren't gonna tell you that they notice those things. So be careful when you make that decision to not give your full self to someone, especially if it's somebody that's on your team. Be careful what you do.
Speaker 1:So in looking at talking about this, I looked up a lot of research. As you may have been reading. There's so much research around brain activity and switching tasks and how it is really impossible for your brain to focus on two different things and actually what happens is, as you continue to switch track back and forth, your brain is not as fast as you think it is, and that takes focus when you're doing that and when we're doing mundane tasks or if we put these things on our to do this, to get over with so we can do our brain work. When we're doing that we're actually fatiguing our brain, so when we go to those important tasks we're even less sharp we have. Our brain doesn't have as much brain capacity to work. So multitasking is actually not great for your brain, it's not great for the other people around you. And just think about being the recipient.
Speaker 1:I remember working for a boss who was self-proclaimed. She said all the time I am like a master multitasker. So if you went into a room with her where you went to her office and you had to ask her about something, she wouldn't even look up from her computer. She would just notice you and say, hey, go ahead, tell me what you need from me. I'm just gonna keep working, I can multitask. And I remember, wow, she must have a superpower. Like I totally don't do that. But wow, I wonder how you learned to do that and really believed her. But I also noticed that I thought I gave her excuses as to why she wasn't giving me great answers, great advice. I thought maybe she doesn't understand the technology or she doesn't understand the nuances of the situation. And it was a little bit frustrating to me because I remember repeating myself over and over because she would ask me questions about things I'd already covered once.
Speaker 1:She would start paying attention and in looking back at that I remember her perception, the influence she had in the organization. Even though she had a high title people, she didn't hold a lot of influence and people didn't trust her and part of that was because when she was talking to people she wouldn't look at them, she would be looking elsewhere. Could she be multitasking? So she really, even though she thought she was being so effective, she kind of built bridges without even realizing because she wasn't connecting with people either. So I think it's really I wanted to really think about, because I've been thinking about this whole idea of connection and giving your full self to a situation and it made me think, of course, of negotiators, and negotiators know the power of paying attention in the room and I believe they multitask differently. They multitask in the room. And so I started kind of breaking that down and thinking about what are those nuances that negotiators do and how great it would be for us as professionals, as leaders, as coworkers, when we're in engaged meetings with other people, to think about these things of not multitasking to bring yourself out of the room or in another place.
Speaker 1:But if you really aren't engaged in the conversation or you do have some brain capacity, then I want you to think about reframing your multitask as being multitasking in the room, and I'll explain what I mean. Just like a negotiator, they think about other nuances that are going in the room when you talk to. I remember my friend, simon, said one of the things he always paid attention to in negotiations were the nonverbals of the people around. He'd always think about the person that has their arms out, the person that has their arms folded. He would look at the emotion on people's faces because he knew when a person was challenged by being triggered by things or if they were closed off, he needed to change something to open them up or regain the trust or give them something so that they knew that they weren't just giving on their side. Hey there, love this podcast. I'm taking 10 seconds out of this episode to ask you to leave an honest review. More reviews on the show help us to reach more professionals who are ready to lead with leverage.
Speaker 1:Now let's continue the conversation. So when you think about multitasking, think about it from adopting a negotiator mindset. Think about it that way. So here's some tips to think about and think about. If you're doing this, maybe stop doing it. And if you're a leader, encourage your people to think about these as well. I think that's your role that we need to tell people when they're not fully engaged so that they can break those habits, those bad habits too.
Speaker 1:So first I'll start with the physical. Don't have your computer in front of you, even if you're on the Zoom. I know your computer's in front of you, but turn off your email, turn off your notifications. Look into the camera. I can't tell you how many people I have to tell to look into the camera when they're talking to people, especially a difficult conversation or an intense conversation. Look into that camera so they know that you're looking at them. There's so many people that have kind of their camera here but their notes over here, and I've talked about this before. That is such a missed opportunity. So make sure you're looking into the camera and don't have distractions, especially in the room. Put your phone away, put your computer away. There's new conversations around how even just having those things around send a notice to the other person that they're not as important as something else.
Speaker 1:So think about the physical. What can you do to really hone your attention in one place? And keep that phone off the table. Keep those things away. Don't bring your computer. If you do, keep it in your bag or keep it on the side or move it so it doesn't look like it's anything that's going to get grab your attention.
Speaker 1:And then do what Simon does. Do what Simon says. Pay attention to the nonverbal communication. Be thinking about what am I seeing, about what they're saying when you're listening to their words. Are their arms folded? What's going on? Pay attention to the things that are being verbalized without the words. That's such a powerful thing to consider. And if there's something that's a little bit off, have the courage to say hey, what's going on with you? You seem like you're kind of closed off or I'm sensing something about you. What can I do to help? You see that I want us to get through this conversation. So call it out if you see that, because if you are noticing it, you spend the time to really focus on it. It's probably true.
Speaker 1:And then your mindset Think about, make yourself think about being in the room. So some of the ways you can do that is focus on what the person is saying and keep on your mind, instead of what you're going to say next, what are you going to ask next, what questions you have for them? Because what that does is it slows your mind down from thinking about oh, I need to make this comment, make this comment, this comment and sometimes what I do when I'm distracted by I don't want to forget what I'm going to say. I'll write down quick words to do that. But instead of thinking about what we're going to say next, think about what you're going to ask next.
Speaker 1:The second thing is to choose about whether you're engaged or not. And if you're not, then start thinking about what's going on in other places. And if you don't have enough to Contribute, how can you support others, like other ideas? How can you show that you are in the room or ask a really great question? So, be engaged. If you're not Really answer why? Maybe you aren't presenting, maybe you're there, but be Thinking about what you could ask, even if you're not. If you don't, if this isn't a Q&A, keep your mind moving toward engagement in the room and I talked about this in my last podcast.
Speaker 1:That senior executive that said tell my people, I don't want them to just show up. I want them to be seen. That's being seen by showing engagement, by asking questions, even if you're not a core Participant in the conversation. And then if you are completely just listening and you do those things, just think about some of the things that are going on in the room. Think about the power dynamics in the room. Who's controlling the conversation? Is it based on their influence, their position or the content that they're contributing? Who's asking the questions? What's? What are their interests? What's their agenda? Start noticing people. That's being smart about politics, because you're starting to notice who holds influence. Who's the one that's being seen in the room? Why are they? You're building your intel around the people around you. Who's asking questions? What are the interests of the active participants in the room? Why are they speaking up? What are their interests? Even thinking about their interests helps you Catalog that, so that you're that's just a regular occurrence that you think about, because that's a critical Best practice of a great negotiator is to consider the interests of the other party before you go in the room.
Speaker 1:So when you practice that, when you're not fully engaged, there you go, you're, you're honing that skill and Then think about who needs to be engaged in the meeting and consider why they're not. What's going on with them? Are there some dynamics that are keeping them quiet? What are those? So there's a lot of things that you can learn about the others in the room. That may have nothing to do with the conversation, but it'll keep you in the room. It'll help allow you to multitask in a way that's either giving to you or to others in the room by showing your support, by just Polling information and then just paying attention to what's going in, instead of, you know, answering the email that could wait until you get done. So think about multitasking like a negotiator. Keep your focus in the room, learn about what's going on around you and Be careful and think about the habits you need to break so that you can do this more. Remember, negotiators pay attention because they want to know when those shifts are happening, because that could be the difference between them losing the deal or closing it, and when you think like a negotiator to think about this being in the room. It makes you a better leader. You're paying attention. It makes you a better human and guess what? If you hold influence and you do that, you're showing people that it is important to be engaged and Then they, if they respect you and trust you, they'll start doing that too. How great is that? You never know when you're impacting or influencing somebody around you. So show up the right way.
Speaker 1:Oh Gosh, I went a little longer than I normally do, but I guess I just got really excited about this topic and I spent a lot of time thinking about it because I think it is something that is an art that we need to consider. Multitasking is damaging, and there's actually the research I read to talks about how, in company cultures that support that busyness and doing so many things at once, they're losing such opportunity of brainshare, of the people connection and this Relationship building that happens in these meetings and these connecting points that that are opportunities. So see those things as opportunities and how can you show up and multitask in the room instead of out of the room? I'd love what you think about this topic. I and just so happy that you're here and thank you for letting me kind of unload my thoughts on this. Negotiate, like multitask, like a negotiator, it's something that, with careful consideration it's, it can be a really powerful tool I to use towards your career growth and just getting to that next level. So I'm Suzy.
Speaker 1:This is Leaders With Leverage. Thank you for making the decision to be here and share this time with me. I appreciate you. ["leverage"]. Thanks for listening to this episode of Leaders With Leverage. I am so honored that you chose to spend your time with me.
Speaker 1:If you're ready to accelerate your professional growth and invest in defining the career you want, I have more resources for you. You can join my newsletter, where your inbox will love a Monday Minute. It's an easy read where I share stories of how others are adopting a negotiator's mindset so that you can use these tips so that you can find success every week. And if you wanna read my book, the Art of Everyday Negotiation Without Manipulation, I have a special offer just for my listeners. These links can be found in the show notes and if you wanna work with me, there's more information there as well. I'd love for you to be a part of this movement to adopt a negotiator's mindset, because those who do create opportunities for themselves and they believe the investment is completely worth it. Head to the links in the show notes and just remember that I appreciate you.
