Brandy (00:01.053)
Hi, this is Brandy Schantz and you're listening to Living Chronic. Today I am speaking with Stephanie Humphrey about Living Chronic, surviving breast cancer and being another fellow veteran. So welcome Stephanie.
Stephanie Humphrey (00:17.206)
Thank you for having me.
Brandy (00:19.233)
So we'll start with your right. So I know you because I know your husband. We were in Army ROTC together and you were also in the Army. Were you a registered nurse in the Army?
Stephanie Humphrey (00:32.422)
No, this was actually my second career. I was medical plans, logistics and operations when I was in the Army.
Brandy (00:39.101)
Okay, but of course like the rest of us the army gave you some parting gifts. So welcome to the disabled club I know it's never the club you wanted to join But there's so many
Stephanie Humphrey (00:47.519)
No...
Stephanie Humphrey (00:52.247)
I'm a member of so many of those clubs. It's a card carry member of so many of them.
Brandy (00:56.997)
I know, I know. It's, yeah, same. It's like, how did I get here? I didn't want that. But we're here, we survive. So tell me a little bit about your journey and your story.
Stephanie Humphrey (01:12.286)
Um, for the breast cancer, um, we'll start there. I, I exited the army in 2012. Um, did a variety of other things to try to keep up with my fitness, triathlon, running, um, CrossFit, everything. And, um, slowly, you know, the weight just kept creeping up and creeping up. And finally, um, I would say probably August or September of 2021.
I started using the injectable Monjaro, which is a diabetic medication and off label use, it was being used for weight loss. I was one of those people, excuse me. So I lost about 75 pounds in about a year's time or less than a year's time. The clinical trial groups actually only lost about 25 pounds. So
Brandy (02:04.317)
of what.
Stephanie Humphrey (02:07.41)
Manjaro I say actually like saved my life not just because of the weight loss It helped me Made me feel full. It stopped me from eating which is a feeling that I have never had in my entire life Anyways, I lost so much weight that I felt a lump in my left breast And I waited a few months as I'm a nurse practitioner and I said well, you know, let me just
wait a few months, make sure it doesn't change shape, size along with my cycle. And I have a Mirena IUD, so I don't really truly know what my monthly cycles are. You know, Mirena will stop your monthly cycles. And so I gave it a few months. And then at my women's yearly with the VA, the outpatient clinic, I brought it up and then that triggered a mammogram and an ultrasound, which triggered a biopsy, which triggered my diagnosis.
Brandy (03:05.678)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (03:06.206)
Um, and you know, at that time I was only, I was 38, baseline mammograms start at 40. Um, and I have no family history of any sort of, uh, breast cancer in my family. So it was, you know, a big, big shock to everyone really.
Brandy (03:13.254)
Yes.
Brandy (03:22.545)
You know, what's interesting about this, and thank goodness I have been learning more, as I learn more and more about women's health, women's issues, there's a very large percentage of breast cancer patients who have no family history at all. And I don't know why I always thought that you had to have a family history. It's...
Stephanie Humphrey (03:43.062)
Yeah, one in eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer. Um, you know, very small percentage will be done before 40. Um, so it's, I mean, I'm even more special.
Brandy (03:56.615)
I overachiever. I like to say we're overachievers. Got to take it up here. Can't just be an illness. You got to really push that up.
Stephanie Humphrey (03:58.09)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (04:02.622)
Uh, nope. Nope. My husband. Yeah. My husband makes fun of me. You know, it's, it's really balls to the wall. All or nothing for me. Nothing, nothing easy.
Brandy (04:10.397)
Yep, yep, that's right. You know, it's a difficult age too, actually. I look back and I think I was around, oh God, how old am I now? But I was maybe I think 36, 37 when I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. And you know, you're such a great point in life. You know, you're really kicking in with the career. You still feel really young. You are really young.
you know, and you have all these great things going, but then when you get sick, it really feels like a very odd point in your life to suddenly have a placeholder. And, you know, beginning of life, you know, young, okay, difficult formative years, but I think, you know, you kind of grow with it. If you're in your 20s, hey, you know, you just started the career, nobody's paying attention to you anyways. Maybe if you're older, you're so established, you have that time to take off. But I remember,
It just being such an awkward time, like, no, I don't have time to be sick. You can't do this to me.
Stephanie Humphrey (05:11.422)
Right. It's, um, you know, I lost my job October of 2021. Um, and so my diagnosis came June, June-ish, I think of 2022. What year are we in? Maybe it was 23.
Brandy (05:27.305)
for. You know what, everybody, we're all there. We stopped counting during the 2020.
Stephanie Humphrey (05:32.166)
No, yeah, I know I'm down a year or two because of COVID. So I lost my job October 2022. And then I got diagnosed June-ish of 2023. And I'm still unemployed, unfortunately. But it's been kind of a blessing because I was able to actually...
Brandy (05:47.092)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (05:56.49)
caught up on my sinus issues because I have chronic sinusitis and rhinitis. Thank you Army and Deployment. I all expenses pay trip to Baghdad. All meals, room and board included. And so finally I was able to take the time to get LinkedIn with an amazing ENT and thankfully I still have civilian insurance, so I see her on my civilian insurance and within a
two, three month time span, I had three or four nasal sinus procedures, three of them in office, and then one of them, it was just so bad, the last one, I had to be put under just to get all in there and get everything cleaned out. And I think my nasal, my sinus CT, I think it said I had 21 or 23 millimeter thickening in one of my sinuses and about 19 in the other. So I had very little free
Brandy (06:32.456)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (06:55.094)
breathing. And so anytime, and I'm allergic to Florida, I'm currently living in Florida, and I'm allergic to Florida.
Brandy (07:02.117)
I'm sorry, Florida. I'm sorry you're there.
Stephanie Humphrey (07:04.566)
Yep. And I'm, I'm every, what are you allergic to? Florida. And my dogs, apparently. So, um, every time an allergy flare, a tree would sneeze at me or I would get sick, um, from any sort of cold, it would just turn into a raging sinus infection. And there was no free space for me to even use one of the neti pots. There's the, the fluid just couldn't get in there to rinse anything out. So just stayed in there and just festered.
Brandy (07:08.469)
The whole place, the whole place.
Stephanie Humphrey (07:34.262)
So after the last procedure, which was Valentine's Day of last year, I went back to the office and I'm like, is this what it's like to breathe? She's like, yeah. I'm like, wow, why didn't anybody tell me? This is amazing.
Brandy (07:55.089)
You know, I think this is probably the most common illness I hear from all other, I mean, you know, I've had severe sinus issues, can't breathe for the life of me. I hear it from almost every vet who's ever served near burn pits, our sinuses get wrecked and nobody really talks about just how bad that is and how many of us have the sinus issues after serving next to burn pits. It's unreal.
I had two major sinus surgeries in addition to some other, you know, in office procedures over the last almost 20 years now. I mean, at this point, we're looking at 16, 17 years and yeah, it's amazing how bad that gets just from inhaling smoke for a year.
Stephanie Humphrey (08:43.498)
Yeah, absolutely. And not in all the dust storms. I mean, you try your best to cover your face or stay inside, but I mean, there's only so much you can do.
Brandy (08:49.406)
Yes.
Brandy (08:54.865)
Yeah, you know, my husband, we were talking yesterday, you know, he spent 23 years in the army and, you know, he's been everywhere. I remember being at his retirement ceremony and they kept listing off all of his deployments. And I was like, geez, no wonder you weren't married before you met me. And there was no time, you know? And he said that, you know, anytime you're in the military, if you've ever been deployed to certain areas, like in Africa, the Mideast.
a couple other places, he said, they should just automatically just give you some sort of disability without even questioning because everything in the air is just trying to kill you. No matter what.
Stephanie Humphrey (09:31.726)
Absolutely.
Brandy (09:36.125)
So it's, sometimes I feel like, you know, other, there's other illnesses that are bad, but sometimes I do feel that the sinuses kill us.
Stephanie Humphrey (09:44.97)
Yeah, and I think as a nurse practitioner, someone who was actually dealing with all these sinus issues, no one, you know, aside from ENTs, I really don't think a lot or people for medical professionals that actually personally deal with the sinus issues, I don't really think that they understand how bad it can be for especially for the vets or and how I don't know where I'm looking for just debilitating.
Brandy (10:07.349)
Yes.
Stephanie Humphrey (10:13.022)
It is when you're just constantly, you know, just constantly feeling this fullness and you're just miserable all the time. And I remember a commercial years and years ago, you know, when TV was a real thing, I think it was for like Musinex or something and people were walking around and their heads were balloons and they were just holding this balloon, their head balloon, just walking around. And that's just how I felt all the time. And then when I had my sinus procedure, I...
Brandy (10:37.994)
Hey.
Stephanie Humphrey (10:41.13)
I noticed I was in a whole lot better mood a lot of times. I was just like, wow, I didn't realize how miserable I truly was.
Brandy (10:51.345)
Yeah, I tell everybody who asks about my most recent surgery, you know, hey, look, I had a sinus infection. I'm not exaggerating. That just cycled from terrible to not as bad, a little bit low, back to terrible all year until I just stopped being able to function. And I really did just give up. I just stopped. I couldn't think. I couldn't speak. I couldn't remember things. I just had so much going on up there that I just quit.
Stephanie Humphrey (11:06.986)
Yep. Oh, yeah.
Brandy (11:20.189)
And, you know, thank goodness I have a great ENT as well. I mean, that's if you're a veteran, get an ENT. That's the best advice. Yeah. And he went in there and he cleaned up places where I had that thickening going. I had a giant mucosal sitting behind my eyes. I was like, what is a mucosal? What did you do to me? But, you know, it happens to us. Nobody really talks about it. If you've served folks, get an ENT.
Stephanie Humphrey (11:27.818)
Have a one speed dial.
Brandy (11:48.693)
Find one you love. If you're in the DC area, Walter Reed has a phenomenal one. I can vouch for this man. He is the best. But yeah, it's amazing what that'll do. And then for you, similar to me, you're not just dealing with the sinus issues. Now you've got something else going on because you have breast cancer. And that causes some issues. Well, it comes with some issues, right? So you're just not.
Stephanie Humphrey (12:08.114)
I do or did. Yeah.
Brandy (12:16.029)
I always tell people when you're normal, you have no clue that you're normal until you're not normal. And you think, gosh, I wish it could be normal again, because you're more susceptible to things. So it turns into a vicious cycle. Somebody sneezes, you're going to get sick. That's going to become a sinus infection, probably bronchitis, and then rinse for pee.
Stephanie Humphrey (12:25.87)
Right. And one of the.
Stephanie Humphrey (12:35.982)
And one of, so I had my double mastectomy and thankfully I was linked in with the VA prior to this. And then I got the diagnosis and my husband said, you know, make sure you claim it. And I'm like, well, I already have everything. Just claim it, please. And so I did. And so, and then, because then with the pack back, it bumped me up to a hundred percent. And then, so that, you know, that really helps. It helped. I'm up to a hundred percent.
based on the breast cancer and I got bumped up really high with all the sinus issues too. So that the PAC-DAC has been what a godsend. And so with the breast cancer, I'm at 100% for up to six, I think for six months past my finalization of treatment. So I had my mastectomy October 27th.
Brandy (13:17.022)
Yes.
Stephanie Humphrey (13:31.23)
Yes, October 27th, I had my, and I felt fine afterwards. I mean, I've been working out, I walk, I run. You know, I'm trying this perfect run Disney season from Wine and Dine. Their season runs from Wine and Dine through the Springtime Surprise in April. So I'm in the middle of this perfect, trying to achieve this perfect season. And of course I get this cancer. They're like, oh yeah, October 27th is the first thing we can do. I'm like, oh my God, that's a week before Wine and Dine. Like, I'm not gonna be able to do that.
Well, I felt fine after the mastectomy. I mean, the next day I was up moving around, you know, my arms up and down. I forgot I had surgery. I felt okay, just like I did a thousand pushups and nothing I couldn't power through. But I had a wheelchair on hand to be present for my kids during Halloween. So I was good during Halloween and I made my husband push me around the neighborhood. And I decked it out with low sticks, like when we were kids and put the, put the,
Brandy (14:13.193)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (14:30.514)
the things on the spokes. I decked the wheelchair out with the glow stick bracelets. And so when we were rolling, it was just click, click. And then seven days after my mastectomy, I actually went and I walked all three races of Winodyne weekend, the 5K, the 10K and a half marathon. And my plastic surgeon nurse practitioner
Brandy (14:51.037)
Yeah, good.
Stephanie Humphrey (14:57.954)
shouldn't explicitly give me permission. And we kind of had an argument about this the other day or last week or so. She said, it's a gray area. You know, people get really swollen when they walk to their mailbox. And I'm like, well, you don't have anybody that has done a virtual marathon the day before they go under for their double mastectomy either. I mean, I ran 26.2 miles for a virtual breast cancer marathon the day before I went under for my mastectomy. I mean, who does that?
Brandy (15:18.141)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (15:28.926)
And then, so, and I just, I don't think anybody's kind of used to, used to my type. Um, so yeah, I, she's like, well, you know, it's a great area. If you're going to do it now's the time. Cause you have the, you have the drains in there somewhere for the swelling to go. So, um, I did it. I was fine. I didn't power walk. I just leisurely walk. It was phenomenal. Um, I'm actually like starting an Instagram channel just recently just to, um,
Brandy (15:35.889)
Right. Yeah, you're right.
Stephanie Humphrey (15:59.074)
help people find their courage while they're going through their process. And I was featured on the Jumbotron with the race announcers. And when I tell you, so many people approached me during all three races and some of them were sharing their stories. And I mean, there was a lot of crying. There was a lot of crying. It was powerful and it was magical. Yeah, it was great.
And then a week later, so two weeks after my mastectomy, I get my drains out. Most people get their drains out at week three or four, and here I am, I just walked all these miles, and then I still get my drains out a lot earlier than her regular average patient.
Brandy (16:45.637)
You know, that is, it's interesting. It's both, I think, it's such a great help. It can also be a hindrance when you're trying to get diagnosed at the doctor. But I've weathered everything I've been through so much better than it could have been because of how fit I was. And, you know, where it's a hindrance sometimes is doctors just don't even know what you're talking about. You know, they're confused. Oh, you're having issues, but you just ran.
half marathon, I don't understand what you're saying. You know, you have to kind of back, explain.
Stephanie Humphrey (17:17.694)
Right, and I think that's the army in us too. We just, you know, we drive on and we find a way around it. It's because we never had the option to sit back and just let things happen and let life happen.
Brandy (17:24.778)
do.
Brandy (17:32.369)
No, I problem solve like a world champion. You know how it is. I, it's just how we think. And I, it's sometimes people don't just don't understand it. Like, why are you doing this? Well, I'm problem solving. I, I have a good time moving forward. Moving.
Stephanie Humphrey (17:37.941)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (17:42.762)
Yeah, yep, absolutely. People say you're just so strong. I'm like, well, you don't know what you're capable of until you have to do it. And then, you know, we were never given the option to not to have to do stuff.
Brandy (17:51.349)
Exactly.
Brandy (17:57.221)
Well, you know, one of the things I always say is what choice do I have it's either this or die I'm gonna have to pick one You know So I've chosen this so far and thank goodness because the truth is some people do choose die and I think that's what we have to really kind of let people know, you know, it's
Stephanie Humphrey (18:13.762)
Hmm.
Brandy (18:20.153)
It's this or die. So if I'm still acting crazy, if you still think that I'm a little nuts and I'm doing something that you wouldn't do, good for me. I'm doing it right.
Stephanie Humphrey (18:31.778)
Right, absolutely. Yep. And with the breast cancer, thank God I didn't need chemo, but I was prepared for it. You know, they do an Onco score, which is scoring your tumor. And since I'm so young and my tumor was estrogen, progesterone positive, but HER2 negative, which I was told is the most vanilla form of breast cancer. If you have breast cancer, this is the kind you want because it's so extremely treatable, which I guess, you know, finally my body did something
right when it was doing something so incredibly wrong. So, awesome, I guess. So my oncoscore, my oncologist said that she wants it 11 or under to avoid chemo, and I came in at 10. Like, okay, yeah. So I avoided chemo, I still did radiation because the, although the breast MRI, the ultrasound didn't show any cancer in the lymph nodes, they still did.
Brandy (19:04.501)
Thank you.
Brandy (19:16.753)
Oh good.
Stephanie Humphrey (19:32.322)
um, took two lymph nodes out of my, my armpit and, um, cancer was found in one of the two lymph nodes. So, and with the cancer, I earned radiation. Um, one of my burns is actually like, has just finally stopped itching and peeling. So that's awesome. But during radiation, um, my radiation oncologist wanted to do this new, this not new, but a treatment, um, for, with me, it's called deep inspiratory.
breathing treatment. So the premise is that I take a deep breath and I hold it for 20 to 30 seconds while the radiation is targeting the area it needs to with the premise that it pushes my, the lungs inflated pushes my heart out of the way to reduce my risk of cardiac anomalies later in life. And it's really only for really fit athletic people because
know, what 70, 80 year old can sit there and hold their breath completely still for 20, 30 seconds. And she was very, very versed in the technique, but the radiation oncology team wasn't just because for, you know, there you look at their regular patient population and I am very on the very left end of their bell curve. By the time...
Brandy (20:33.678)
Right.
Brandy (20:49.642)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (20:52.61)
especially female veterans get to radiation, radiation oncology, um, you know, they're probably in their 60s, 70s. So, um, that was, that was interesting. I got to, I laid still, I had to take a deep breath and I held my breath for 20 to 30 seconds for, um, for all my entire treatment. And, um, yeah. So I think.
Brandy (21:01.676)
Mm-hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (21:19.002)
I pushed my heart out of the way and hopefully I've reduced my risk of any cardiac complications down the road. But I was, I trained the staff.
Brandy (21:26.188)
What?
Brandy (21:29.513)
Yeah. Well, you know, way to go for just really addressing the problems and just knocking everything out one after another. Um, because it's a lot and it just compounds and it's easy to try to ignore some things, you know, so just go in there and, you know, cause obviously once you're diagnosed with cancer, you know, it's like everything's out of your hands. Everybody's running around and putting you on a treatment schedule.
But just tackling the other problems one after another, it's a lot of people, myself included, it's one of my biggest mistakes since I got any and all of the illnesses, the ones that weren't life threatening. I was like, don't get around to this. It's probably how I got a giant mucus cell behind my eyes. I was like, yes, another surgery. I'll do it later.
Stephanie Humphrey (22:13.463)
Yeah.
Right, you're right.
Yeah.
Brandy (22:21.693)
fall over and I'm like, well, maybe we should go ahead and do that now, I guess.
Stephanie Humphrey (22:24.79)
Right. Um, yeah. And so I started, I started radiation on, I think it was June 5th or January 5th. Excuse me. That was the day I started the 5k for the Dopey challenge. Um, and I did the 5k in the morning and I went out to the, to the VA hospital and did radiation, did the 10k the next day on Friday, went back out and did radiation and then I did half marathon and, and I actually PR the marathon on Sunday. Um.
So doing that during radiation. And then end of beginning of February, I had one week of radiation left. And that weekend prior, I went down to Jacksonville and I did the Donna marathon to end breast cancer. And I did the half marathon and actually PR that half marathon one week before I finished radiation treatments. So, and I was really proud of myself.
Brandy (22:55.465)
Good? Good.
Brandy (23:23.671)
Yeah, you're pure army. You're pure army, taking care of things one after another, skipping nothing, skipping nothing. We're gonna fix everything today. No, not a required treatment. We're gonna do it anyways, moving forward. I like it.
Stephanie Humphrey (23:25.655)
Hey
Stephanie Humphrey (23:33.406)
Yep. Let's do it. My oncologist, you know, since I'm so young, we're being extremely very, very aggressive, which I appreciate. I've got an eight year old and a four year old to be around for. And so she said that, you know, since my oncoscore was, you know, just right at the cutoff, she wants to put me into menopause. I'm okay with it. But I said, I want a...
mechanically induced menopause versus medicine induced because I just don't want to be on more medicine, you know, and then I'm already on tamoxifen and then I've got to worry about interactions with tamoxifen for anything and I just, I just don't, I just take it out, you know, just take it out. So she was just going to do a bilateral oophorectomy, which is just taking out the ovaries. With my last C-section, I had my fallopian tubes removed. I didn't have them cut because
As an ER nurse, I've seen too many people, too many women come in and say, oh yeah, no, I've had a tubal ligation. Honey, you're pregnant again. So I was like, nope, I just take those things out. So then talking to my GYN surgeon, there was no indication really to do a complete hysterectomy because I have a genetic mutation which is not BRCA, surprisingly.
Brandy (24:43.134)
Yeah.
Brandy (24:58.89)
Hmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (25:00.346)
Um, that pre oh man, I was predisposes me to cancers, particularly, um, pancreatic cancer. Um, yeah, my grandfather passed of pancreatic cancer. My aunt is currently battling pancreatic cancer. Um, so now I'm going to get CT from about a stern effort once a year. Um, so if anything does pop up.
Brandy (25:12.367)
Oh wow.
Stephanie Humphrey (25:28.802)
find it very quickly and I appreciate their being able to be 100% on this. I have no qualms about the VA care I've received here in Orlando. They're phenomenal.
Brandy (25:40.657)
Yeah, that's the same experience I've had. I shout up everywhere I can, get the VA care. It's good now.
Stephanie Humphrey (25:48.33)
Yep. You know, and I've always been said, you know, with the horror stories you hear heard of years and years ago. And I'm like, I don't want to be a part of that system. And now I'm just like, wow, this. It's okay. I'm impressed. I'm thoroughly impressed.
Brandy (26:01.881)
My best healthcare is at the VA, my best healthcare. And the big differences, I also get great healthcare at Walter Reed, that's where my ENT is, love him to death, but especially my primary care, what I love so much about being at the VA and I don't think I ever really fully realized until I switched my healthcare to the VA. My primary care physician is a salaried employee.
What does that mean? That means he does not have the quotas that, you know, people in the real world, I like to call it, have, you know, your primary care physician in the real world, you know, that, that private sector world, they've got, you know, quotas. They have to see X number of patients every day. They have to do X number of procedures. They have to, you know, prescribe X number of this or that. And it's, they're just frantic.
You know, they've got about 10 minutes with you. They have no time for whatever nonsense you have to get through them. You have a weird problem. You don't know what it is. I don't know either. No time for that. Um, whereas the VA, my primary care, I mean, he made a 45 minute appointment just to sit down and talk to me and even did his homework before we got there and read through my entire file and knew about the horrible and weird things that I'm afflicted with. Um, so yeah, that, you know, as an aside, everybody, VA healthcare.
Stephanie Humphrey (27:28.15)
Yes, absolutely. So in talking to my GYN, he said that we absolutely can take, just take the ovaries, no indication for taking the uterus, but we would still need to put in a Mirena, or just an IUD. So that was a few months ago. And then I had my pre, my battery pre-op appointments last week. And I asked him, I'm like, so would we be doing paraguard IUDs? It's copper and no hormones. He said, no Mirena.
Brandy (27:28.33)
good.
Stephanie Humphrey (27:57.898)
And I said, well, what about the unopposed progesterone? Because Marina's progesterone only stops your periods. And since my tumor is ER, estrogen, and progesterone positive, about 96% or 98%, I said, is that going to pose a risk or increase my risk of tumors? And he said, probably. I said, OK, well, let's just take everything out. I'm like, so I've got my hysterectomy
Brandy (28:19.085)
I hope that's... Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (28:27.302)
next week. Next on March 1st, a week after I do the princess races this week, this weekend coming up.
Brandy (28:37.501)
You're so much like me, but there's a reason there, but don't worry, I'll show up.
Stephanie Humphrey (28:42.41)
Yeah, right. And I didn't even ask them. I'm like, well, I've got her. I've got a race in March. Like he's like, well, you know, with the, the oophorectomy, um, you know, you can, you can walk as much as you want. I'm like in distance. Can I walk distance? Can I walk a half marathon? He's like, if you feel up to it, I'm like, okay. Um, but I'm now I, and he said no running for four weeks, but walking is fine. But with the total hysterectomy, minimum of six weeks of walking on me, which is fine and still.
distance, you know, as tolerated. So I'm still going up to Atlanta for that, the Jeff Galloway race weekend. Um, huge fan of that man. He's amazing anyways. Um, yeah, it's, it's more like a race retreat now and I'm really excited about it. It's kind of like a big family reunion for me with all of my running friends.
Brandy (29:30.505)
Yeah, it's so important to have that, especially, you know, when you're experiencing illness, when you're going through something terrible like a breast cancer, to have that outlet, that something that you love to do, feeling normal, just doing normal things.
Stephanie Humphrey (29:48.61)
Absolutely. And one of the race announcers, during one of the few races that I showed up for, they said, why? You're going through all of this, why? And I said, because this is one of the only things that I can control during all of this and I can't control radiation, I can't control my test results and I can't control the surgeries that I need to prevent this from coming back so I can be here longer. But showing up.
I can't control that. And that's kind of been my little mantra on Facebook and Instagram with this, my new Instagram profile or channel, whatnot. Just show up. People are going through hard things, myself, you included, just do your best and your best is not going to look the same every day. And that's taken me years and years to really understand.
Brandy (30:30.29)
Yeah.
Brandy (30:45.113)
even you know what even though i some you know there's some days i'll tell you i understand and then there's other days that i'm just beside myself so i'm not sure you know i haven't found the person yet who can convince me that it just you know somehow come to full acceptance and never look back
Stephanie Humphrey (30:52.273)
Oh yeah, absolutely. All right.
Stephanie Humphrey (31:04.85)
No, it's hard, but I do try to keep that in mind, to show up and your best is gonna look different from day to day, but that's okay.
Brandy (31:12.959)
If you have 40% today and you gave 40%, that's 100%.
Stephanie Humphrey (31:17.228)
Absolutely.
Brandy (31:18.541)
You know, I was telling a friend of mine who has been dealing with a lot of injuries. She's a runner. And I said, look, you know, she's trying to sell her cherry blossom 10-miler because she just doesn't think she's really ready to get out there and perform the way she normally would. You know, I said, look, you know, I had the rock and roll half marathon that had been, you know, postponed 7,000 times. You know, originally I was supposed to do it in March 2020. And, you know, it was delayed until November 2021.
which by the way ended up being all of eight weeks after I got my ability to walk back. I think it was seven or eight. It was very close. And I remember it being less than that. It might've been eight, seven or eight weeks since I took my last humira dose. I think I got my ability to walk back a couple of weeks after I skipped. But at any rate, obviously I had no ability to train for that half marathon.
I was still in PT trying to strengthen all my stuff because I hadn't walked in a little bit. And you know, I ran walked that thing. I said, girl, just get out there. I was out there for two and a half hours trying to finish that race, but you know what, who cares? I, you know, it's nowhere close to my time, but I felt proud. I was like, I just, I bawled like a baby. I was like, I've got a finish line. I can't believe it.
Stephanie Humphrey (32:29.078)
You did it.
Stephanie Humphrey (32:37.302)
Yep. I, when I crossed the fin, the half marathon finish line of, um, the week after my mastectomy, um, the race announcer, Riley Claremont announced me in the crowd erupted, then I erupted into tears, like, and I said that, that I've crossed so many finish lines. Um, you know, half, half Ironman. Um, I still have a vengeance to settle with, um, a score to settle with full Ironman distance, but that's for another time, but.
Brandy (32:49.777)
Yeah.
Brandy (33:05.236)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (33:05.834)
Yeah, I've crossed so many finish lines, but that finish line hit different. That one was different.
Brandy (33:11.501)
Mm-hmm. There's something about it. Yeah. Yes, I think that's why it's so important just to get out there, do those things. You know, it feels good. It doesn't feel good to go to the doctor and get treatments. It doesn't feel good to sit there at your infusion staring at the hospital wall for, you know, an hour. But it does feel good to get out there and try and do something that...
Stephanie Humphrey (33:24.075)
does.
Brandy (33:38.181)
You know, people probably didn't think you could do, but it's something you love.
Stephanie Humphrey (33:41.918)
You didn't think you could do it. And once you start doing things that you didn't think that you could do, then, you know, the sky's the limit. Just show up. I mean, you know, like they say for, you know, having kids, you know, there's never going to be a perfect time. You just have them and you figure it out. You know, if you wait for the perfect time, you're just going to watch life go by.
Brandy (33:50.121)
Build that confidence.
Brandy (34:01.766)
Right.
Brandy (34:05.437)
Right? Well, I guess that's what I, you know, we never had kids. The army didn't issue them. So we just didn't know that we were supposed to do that.
Stephanie Humphrey (34:13.578)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (34:17.014)
I waited till I was out. I was not going to be a dual military couple with kids. Absolutely not. I've seen too many horror stories with that one. That was, was not going to put my kids through those, those that.
Brandy (34:20.369)
It's hard. It's hard. Yeah.
Brandy (34:25.201)
Yeah. No, yeah. I understand that completely. So on that note, you know, just, you know, one last little topic being, you know, veterans, we're going through all these illnesses are the same, you know, for many women, they're getting breast cancer. There are a lot of cancers that vets are living through right now and dying, unfortunately.
um, you know, the complete inability to breathe in 7,000 sinus infections every year and, you know, massive surgery every few years, you know, we're all dealing with that. So tell me a little bit about your journey when you went to the VA and said, you know what, it's time for me to file for disability.
Stephanie Humphrey (35:06.462)
Um, I actually filed when I, when I got out for a few, um, re other reasons. And so I was already in the system for the disability. So it was back then it was a lot harder, but now, um, when I submitted the breast cancer forms, I had my, um, breast MRI, no, I think I had my, my mammogram results and my ultrasound results and my pathology results. And I just uploaded them through.
Brandy (35:10.297)
Thank you.
Brandy (35:21.417)
Yes.
Stephanie Humphrey (35:36.698)
I think the VA thing, I don't know if they were linked in with the healthy vet website, but oh my God, it was so easy. You used to be like, you used to go to the VA website and like, you need to download this form and then you click on that link and it takes you to a different form. You got to fill it out and says, but if you this and this and this, you need this form and this form and that form and then supplemental form. But this, it's so easy now. I love that they are re-
reducing the barriers to access care. And I know that's been a huge push for the VA and I'm here to say that they are doing a fantastic job, especially when you consider it's the government.
Brandy (36:19.689)
Right. You know, they have made it easier. Yeah, like you, the first time, you know, it was, I mean, you needed to be a gosh darn lawyer to get through that, you know? You had to go back, read the regulations, ensure you had all the correct forms, make sure you're using the right this and that, and, you know, reference, yes, the ink, the reference, the right regulation, and if you did one little thing wrong, the whole thing got kicked out like, oh, it's too bad.
Stephanie Humphrey (36:30.541)
Oh god.
Stephanie Humphrey (36:38.51)
the right color ink.
Stephanie Humphrey (36:47.862)
Then you gotta restart it.
Brandy (36:49.941)
and start again. So it's so much easier and same with the healthcare. Once you're disabled, and for everybody out there wondering, if you are a disabled veteran from 0 to 40%, you are entitled to healthcare for your disability. If you're a disabled veteran at 50% or more, you are entitled to full healthcare from the VA. All you do is hit a single button in your benefits.va.gov. One click.
Done. It's so.
Stephanie Humphrey (37:21.526)
would say just to make it easier on yourself just have your test results with you and scanned into your computer so it's just your phone or whatever just so you can it's such a so it's easier upload you don't have to go find everything but still you still have to kind of make a case for yourself but it's not that you need to call in character witnesses anymore and you know physician statements or whatever you know was the time oh yeah
Brandy (37:34.173)
You're right.
Brandy (37:41.299)
Right.
Brandy (37:46.357)
They can help depending on your disability, but I've had some pretty serious ones. So I have medical records for days. And it's very easy to, you know, justify whatever's going on because I have all the evidence in the world. And it was all either at Walter Reed or the VA. So that's helped.
Stephanie Humphrey (38:09.814)
Right. So for the sinus stuff, once I submitted my, um, I claimed it and then I, you know, for a few days later, I uploaded my CT scan showing, you know, absolutely no free space for air. Um, and then within, I think about a week or so I had a, a email or, and a letter saying that I had an appointment, um, to talk to, um, an evaluator via a medical evaluation, which was just super easy. I just went in there and it was another.
He was a doctor and we just talked for a little bit. He looked through my stuff and that was that. I mean, it was very easy. My only frustration with the medical examining process is that they just tell you when to show up instead of, hey, are you available this day? Or, you know, what can you do?
Brandy (38:58.289)
Yeah. So, yeah. I mean, true story. I had a supplement. Yeah. I had a supplemental file and I got, I was packing. I was literally packing to leave because it was December 27th and we were going with friends up to
Stephanie Humphrey (39:03.572)
Like, oh, I have an appointment in two days. Oh, okay.
Brandy (39:21.021)
West Virginia to this resort to just kind of hang out through the new year. And I got a letter in the mail that said, you have an appointment December 31st at 2 p.m. Are you crazy? I mean, that's difficult on any day to just be told, hey, by the way, in a couple of days, we need you at 2 p.m., but it's the holidays. Who do you think's home right now?
Stephanie Humphrey (39:34.858)
Great.
Brandy (39:49.885)
VA, fix that. Yeah. Fix that, please, VA. Fix that.
Stephanie Humphrey (39:50.182)
Sorry, you missed your appointment. You know. OK.
Brandy (39:58.769)
Well, thank you so much as there's some great pointers. Love that point. Keep your medical records. I keep mine in a file on my computer. Always be ready so that it's in one spot. And congratulations on really just killing it out there and getting through a difficult time and getting out there and doing those races and living to tell the story. You have a great story and you're a really strong person. Army Stronghold.
Stephanie Humphrey (40:24.814)
Thank you. Thanks. I tell people, you know what? I still have my, I still have my moments. I tell people, you know, I still, I'm, I'm scared. You know, I'm near the complete hysterectomy going in through menopause at 39 years old, who does that? Um, and then maybe in like August or September, I'm having my implant switched out to have expanders right now. And then the permanent implants will be put in around September. Um, and so sometimes I just.
Brandy (40:34.45)
Oh yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (40:53.642)
I don't know if I'm not, I wouldn't say I'm in denial, but you know, sometimes I've just, with everything has just been going so quick and so, so quick, you know, sometimes I just sit back and I'm like, holy crap. Like, and then I, I call it, I sit in my feelings for, you know, a little bit, an hour or so, and then I throw myself a pity party and then I just keep moving on as I don't know what else to do. I just, I.
Brandy (41:05.641)
just happened.
Brandy (41:17.829)
And that's all you can do. I do the same thing. I reserve the right to take a couple hours just to sit there and cry. Don't touch me. No, I don't want to hear about how good it could be. I'm just gonna sit here and cry. Leave me alone. I'll be back.
Stephanie Humphrey (41:20.639)
Exactly.
Stephanie Humphrey (41:29.13)
Now, you know what I learned? There's a thing called toxic positivity and I lost my ever loving shit on someone because with my genetic mutation, it's genetic. So I was like, oh my God, now I'm worried about my boys and I've got to get them tested. And I haven't gotten them tested yet because I'm getting through all of my stuff first.
Nothing that will, even if they carry the gene, I think it's recessive. So hopefully my husband doesn't carry it. I don't think he does. So there's hope, but I think it's dominant. I'm not sure. Anyways, it's nothing that's gonna affect them until they're, you know, mid middle-aged adults. So I've got some time.
Brandy (42:04.873)
bright.
Brandy (42:20.264)
Yeah.
Stephanie Humphrey (42:20.394)
But someone said, oh, just don't worry about them. You gotta worry, excuse me. I'm worried about my, of course I'm worried. I can worry about both. I can worry about them while I'm worrying about myself and going through all of this. And then, oh, just look at all the positive stuff and look at this and look at that and just be positive. Just smile, just keep going. No, I will keep going. But right now I'm in a moment. Leave me the hell, sorry.
Brandy (42:40.595)
Nope.
Brandy (42:48.297)
I would say if we do that.
Stephanie Humphrey (42:50.502)
Leave me alone. Like, if you want to be here for me, say, I'm here, I know it sucks, I am so sorry, how can I help? Not the empty platitudes of, oh, you'll be okay. I know I'll be okay.
Brandy (42:52.574)
You know.
Brandy (43:00.841)
Exactly.
Brandy (43:05.717)
Or my favorite, and when I say my favorite, I mean my least favorite, is when people try to say, well, at least you don't have. And then now suddenly everybody has, yeah, like everybody has an assigned score to their pain and suffering. Well, at least you don't have a missing leg like some people who came home from Iraq and Afghanistan do. Excuse me? This isn't a ranking system. You know, I shouldn't feel better just because I don't have that particular...
Stephanie Humphrey (43:15.807)
Oh yeah, one-up game.
Brandy (43:35.214)
injury or you know.
Stephanie Humphrey (43:35.446)
Right, right, I'm allowed to feel, you know, disappointment about my stuff too. And yeah, I'm thankful that I have all of my limbs. Obviously, of course I am, but I'm still upset that I have breast cancer or all of your GI stuff.
Brandy (43:41.225)
Yeah.
Brandy (43:51.785)
What?
Brandy (43:55.069)
The person who's missing limbs is also thankful that they don't have breast cancer or Crohn's disease or the severe upper respiratory tract infection. So, I mean, I mean, I can be thankful all day long for the diseases and injuries I don't have.
Stephanie Humphrey (44:02.899)
Right. I have.
Stephanie Humphrey (44:09.51)
while simultaneously being upset about the things that you are going through.
Brandy (44:12.761)
I'm going through. I've talked about that a lot. I especially did in season one. I talked about toxic optimism. It kind of went hand in hand for me with denial. I was like, I'm fine, I'm fine. It's gonna be okay. I'm moving on. And then when everything crashed, it was just like, I mean, I was a puddle because I was so toxically optimistic that I was not even addressing the real problem.
So then of course now that I've addressed the real problem and the reality hit me it's been like you know it's like seven thousand times worse than it could have been so I'm like oh my god look what's happened to me you know I probably should have dealt with that
Stephanie Humphrey (44:50.654)
I still, you know, I, you know, sometimes I still have my breakdowns, you know, my, my most memorable one when I was at Target, the CVS inside of Target. And I was trying to get my flu shot and my COVID shot. Because, you know, it was just, and it hit me, I was there. I'm like, oh my God, I am part of the immunocompromised population right now. And I, now I'm relying on herd immunity. And I'm like, oh my God, because I'm one of my soapboxes immunizations.
Um, another one is infant swim rescue, but that's another topic for another time. Um, but I always preach herd immunity. Um, you know, not just for you, but for, for other people. And I'm like, now I'm one of those other people and I need herd immunity as well. And, um, and then I couldn't get my COVID shot because of the VA, um, something where they couldn't do it with the VA. Um, and then my civilian insurance, it wasn't.
I was so upset. I was crying. I walked away. I had a breakdown in the middle of a makeup isle at Target. I was like, oh man, while I'm sitting there crying, blubbering, then I'm laughing at myself while I'm having my breakdown.
Brandy (46:08.829)
You know what? We've all been there. I could tell stories for days. Ask me about the time that I got bumped for my colonoscopy by Mike M. F. and Pence when he was first elected. And you know, there was me screaming, crying at complete mess, because I had been in the middle of the worst flare of my life. It was the year Crohn's was trying to kill me. There I was on the floor of Walter Reed Hospital.
Stephanie Humphrey (46:11.661)
Oh yeah.
Brandy (46:36.341)
VP and Secret Service passing right by me. We just...
Stephanie Humphrey (46:43.754)
Fun times. Yeah, I'm still waiting for my picture and video to pop up on the people of Walmart for the, uh, the breakdown I had.
Brandy (46:43.933)
We've all been there. Ha ha ha.
Brandy (46:51.9)
Kiss you.
Brandy (46:55.649)
We should just get out ahead of all of them. We should just like step right on in there. And you know, we should start our own Instagram breakdowns of the chronically ill. And you know, we'll just take the news of ourselves to be like, and here she is in the middle of CVS.
Stephanie Humphrey (47:11.906)
Oh my God, that was, I, you know, I was a performer, actress at Busch Gardens, Williamsburg growing up for a few seasons. And, you know, I really, you know, if it weren't so real, I really would have deserved an Emmy or something. That was a phenomenal performance. Like I was looking back and like, wow. Like, I mean, people were giving me a very wide berth. Like I was good.
Brandy (47:26.964)
I know.
Brandy (47:34.893)
Well, I think people know it's there's sometimes I think, you know, cause I've had multiple at this point and sometimes people were like, well, what do you, and then other people are like, no, just let her go. Let this happen. Let it be organic.
Stephanie Humphrey (47:44.778)
No? Yep.
Stephanie Humphrey (47:50.89)
The week, few days before my, few days before my, my mastectomy, I was in Walmart trying to buy more button up shirts because FYI, they're very hard to come by, especially for women. Because, you know, people were telling me horror stories, like you can't pull, put your arms over your head and you can't do pullover shirts. You're gonna have to live in button up shirts for weeks. So I was like, well, you know, obviously I need like 20 of them instead of like three or four. That's one of those, you know.
going balls through the wall in excess that my husband loves to make fun of me about. And so I had left, I had my, I was listening to an audiobook. I had my phone on my cart. And then I didn't, all of a sudden I looked down and my phone's not on my cart anymore. And, but I'm still listening to my audiobook. So I didn't even register. And I'm like going through, I'm running through the store. I'm like, oh my God, like frantically creaking out. My, it's my phone, you know?
and I don't even have an Apple watch, I have a garment, so I can't even do any fancy stuff with it. And so I run to the back of the, to the store in the bathroom, like maybe I left it there, and then my phone disconnects from my audio book, and I'm like, well, it's not, still in the middle of the section and where the women's clothes are, and I'll go back there, and a woman lets me use her phone, and I try to call it, and then it just rings in my ear, and I'm like, well, that's stupid, Stephanie. I mean, of course it's like.
Brandy (48:53.854)
environment.
Stephanie Humphrey (49:17.626)
not going to find it. It's like, right. So then I call my husband who was somewhere in the air over in the Eastern seaboard, he's a pilot. And I'm like, well, that's going to be a fun voicemail for him to land to. And so then I'm just continued freaking out and running around. And then finally, a worker comes and she asked me and I go up front to, we go up front and they're like, what color is your phone? I'm like, it's red.
Brandy (49:17.753)
And.
Stephanie Humphrey (49:46.71)
And I'm in the front of the customer service, Iran in front of all of the cash registers and I just start screaming and crying and I collapse into a ball on the floor. You know, not completely on the floor because it's disgusting and I still have that sense about me, but you know, I'm just like cuddled like fetal position, fetal position on my feet in the middle of Walmart screaming and I look and I'm aware that every single register has stopped beeping.
Brandy (50:03.315)
Thank you.
Stephanie Humphrey (50:16.19)
and everybody is looking at me.
Awesome. It was epic. We did find my phone. It was on another cart, not my cart because I still had all the same stuff in my cart, but it was on the same position on another cart. So I think maybe a worker found it and put it on their cart to try to keep it safe. I don't know, but found my phone and the lady was like, I thought you said your phone was red. I'm like, oh, that's teal. Yeah.
Brandy (50:28.381)
Yeah.
Brandy (50:48.162)
Oh.
Stephanie Humphrey (50:51.398)
Yeah, yeah, I've had that phone for only two years. No big deal.
Brandy (50:56.653)
I don't know why. Don't feel bad. Yesterday I had to go into the hospital to have an ultrasound done. And they have all the things you have to check in on and face has to be recognized and I'm doing all these things. And this is my first time using my VA healthcare to do a community care.
So I'm doing all these things and all of a sudden I'm like, oh no, I left my phone in my car. I need to go get, you know, they're trying to check me out. I'm like, no, but I need to get my phone. You know, I need to do it now. And I'm like all confused and the lady said, ma'am, is that your phone in your hand?
Stephanie Humphrey (51:28.046)
Thanks for watching!
Brandy (51:29.314)
Oh yes, thank you.
Brandy (51:33.745)
You know, we go through a lot, folks. Just, you know, it happens.
Stephanie Humphrey (51:43.015)
Yep, my last breakdown, I guess. And a joke, but you know, the universe didn't want to talk to Walmart to feel left out, because I had my first breakdown at Target. So they're like, oh yeah, Walmart needs their own breakdown, their own Stephanie episode. Like, that's cool. Then right before the marathon, I was talking to my coach, and at the Bernie Disney Expo, and I looked at the pace groups and like, oh my God, you know, if I could stick with this pace group, you know, I could break a sub five in the marathon. Like,
And then I start crying like how amazing would that be to be able to break sub five in the marathon while I'm going through all this? That would be amazing. And then I just start crying because it's for one, I'm like, I'm so proud of myself that I'm doing up to this point that the ability that I can still try to make that goal like, oh, that's so cool. But my coach gives the best hugs. So I hate. Yeah, that was, that was a good one.
Brandy (52:18.069)
Mmm.
Stephanie Humphrey (52:39.542)
We're in the middle of the run Disney Expo.
Brandy (52:42.061)
Yeah, you know what, you gotta do it, it's fine. If anybody judges you, forget about them. You know, one day they'll have a problem too, and then they'll forget about it, you know? It's just part of life. Well, thank you so much for chatting with me. We could probably sit here and talk for days about our various meltdowns, because they're epic, and they are deserved.
Stephanie Humphrey (52:44.746)
Yep, that was fun.
Stephanie Humphrey (52:49.442)
Don't care. Right, yep.
Yep.
Stephanie Humphrey (53:03.854)
Epic, so fun.
Brandy (53:05.977)
We're owed them, so don't say anything, people. It happens. We'll start our Instagram meltdowns at the Chronic. And well, yeah, I think we are. I think we are. Make it totally normal. We're not making fun of these people at all. They're normal. Thank you so much for coming on Living Chronic and we'll have to do this again.
Stephanie Humphrey (53:12.798)
Absolutely. That's great. We're onto something.
Stephanie Humphrey (53:22.55)
Yep, absolutely.
Stephanie Humphrey (53:29.578)
Yes ma'am, I appreciate it.