Surviving the Unsurvivable: Jeremy's Journey

In this episode of Living Chronic, Brandy Schantz interviews Jeremy Tammone, a veteran who shares his harrowing experience of being shot and the profound impact it has had on his life. Jeremy recounts the night of the incident, his miraculous survival against the odds, and the significant changes he has faced since then. The conversation delves into themes of resilience, grief, and the ongoing journey of adapting to a new reality after trauma. Jeremy's story is one of hope, strength, and the importance of finding purpose in the face of adversity. In this conversation, Jeremy Tammone and Brandy Schantz discuss the profound impact of mental health on individuals with disabilities, the journey towards justice after traumatic events, and the importance of support systems. They explore the challenges of reinventing oneself after life-altering experiences and the necessity of acceptance in moving forward. The conversation also highlights the critical need for organ donation and the role of community in healing.

Transcript

Brandy Schantz (00:01.112)
Hi, this is Brandy Schantz and you're listening to Living Chronic. Today I have a really great guest, somebody I'm very happy to welcome. He's a friend, Jeremy Timon. Jeremy is a veteran just like me and good friend. I've known Jeremy for many years. He has gone through quite a bit over the years, not in the military as a civilian. He was shot one evening. I will never forget that.

next morning getting the phone call that you were shot. So I remember that day very well. You probably don't remember the day the way I do, but it's been a heck of a journey since. So welcome to Living Chronic. I'm so happy you've come to chat with us.

Jeremy Tammone (00:46.743)
Thank you very much, Brandy. I'm glad to be here, you know. Do some talking is good for us all.

Brandy Schantz (00:52.698)
So yeah, so it's been quite the journey. It's been a long time now. It was, think, what was it, 2017? Do I remember that correctly?

Jeremy Tammone (01:05.59)
It was the 21st of October 2017, that's correct.

Brandy Schantz (01:08.396)
Yeah. And October 18th, I got that phone call. Jeremy's been shot, rushed up to the hospital. What do you remember about the night you were shot?

Jeremy Tammone (01:20.502)
Are you sure it was October 18th? Because I was shot on the 21st.

Brandy Schantz (01:22.382)
Was it? Was it the 20 seconds? See, my brain doesn't work all the time either. So this podcast gets fun when my brain flies away.

Jeremy Tammone (01:26.224)
all the next day that's okay yes yeah

Brandy Schantz (01:34.71)
Yeah, so tell me about what you remember that night.

Jeremy Tammone (01:37.911)
Oh wow, well I mean actually that night was an interesting day overall. I was out with a friend, a friend of mine that I worked with from the State Department. She had asked me to help her out with a car because she wanted to rent a car.

Brandy Schantz (01:43.598)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (01:56.379)
She lives and worked in the DC area and commuted everywhere and had no need for a car and she finally wanted one. But she was going through a bad breakup with a guy, a Navy guy, and not a veteran, just a reservist. And so she was kind of just locking herself in her apartment the whole time because she was scared of even leaving the house.

Brandy Schantz (02:17.038)
Mm.

Right.

Jeremy Tammone (02:20.4)
She didn't know why but he was he was he would always find a way to show up wherever she was at We found out later on we get into that later, but So she asked me on a Friday over Facebook. I said sure I'll help you out. No problem and I picked her it was I think it was a Saturday. It was a really nice Saturday. It was like a spring day It was I think it was about 70 degrees that day. It was beautiful. So we took my Jeep my old Jeep out

Brandy Schantz (02:25.422)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (02:49.495)
I picked her up and then we went downtown Alexandria to a Honda dealership and helped her get her car and whatnot. got that done and when we got done we decided to just go get some beers, just have a couple drinks with a friend because that's what you do.

Yeah, and the right right right after just a few months before that actually a little long little ways before that I just bought my house that you and Steve helped me find and So she hadn't seen it before we were talking because she had just the apartment she was in she actually bought that from her Landlord who sold it to her so I was like she was so I was like, you want to see my house? Cuz we were right down the so she said sure so we brought it I brought over to my house and

Brandy Schantz (03:17.741)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (03:28.398)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (03:37.537)
You know, showing her around and then we ended up hanging out in my house till night time. And I was about 10 o'clock at night. We were in my basement. What was supposed to be my man cave and we were throwing darts and just having a good time. then so here's where where the night gets weird.

I remember the doorbell ringing the first time and I was like, ah, that's odd. But I ignored it. I didn't care. I was having fun. So I ignored it. And then I remember the doorbell ringing the second time later on. And I'm like, ah, somebody's here. Let me go check it. So the next thing I remember is leaving my basement, going through the doorway. And the next thing I know a few weeks later, I'm waking up in the hospital with a breathing tube and the whole thing. And everybody's staring down at me.

Brandy Schantz (04:20.59)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (04:24.759)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (04:25.59)
Yeah, yeah, so apparently what had happened was on that second ring door, ring of the door, I left the basement, went up the stairs to the front door, and as soon as I got to the top of the stairs where you could see my body from the dining room window, which is directly across from the stairs, that person put three rounds downrange on me.

Brandy Schantz (04:48.558)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (04:49.183)
Two of them went through my abdomen and one was a one went through my right shoulder and impacted my head right there. I wear the hat.

Brandy Schantz (04:53.986)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (04:59.603)
And you know.

Jeremy Tammone (05:00.626)
So, yeah, so there was, I guess there was a loud noise and then the girl comes out of the basement and sees what's happening. There's blood everywhere. She calls 911 and the cop shows up and then the ambulance and the fire department, everybody showed up. And then I rushed to the hospital and the damage was so bad because the bullets were shot from a.

Brandy Schantz (05:17.806)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (05:26.71)
an assault rifle, an AR variant kind of assault rifle. And the bullets are meant to fragment when they hit the body. when they hit my body, they fragmented and just pieces just tore, shredded my digestive system pieces. So right then in the trauma at the hospital, they took my, they took almost my entire small intestines out. I lost almost my entire stomach. My spleen was exploded. So that I lost my spleen.

Brandy Schantz (05:30.424)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (05:42.296)
Right.

Brandy Schantz (05:49.774)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (05:57.009)
And I had a huge open abdomen. It was gigantic because they basically cut a big circle around my abdomen, that skin out, and then worked on me to save my life. And I was in a coma for a few weeks after that. I remember that. then when I woke up from the coma, apparently the first words out of my mouth were WTF.

Brandy Schantz (06:02.222)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (06:14.126)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (06:23.201)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (06:23.51)
were the first words out of my mouth when I woke up but uh... interestingly enough I tell people this a lot I'll tell it here but I think I had a conversation with God that night when I woke up because I remember um being in a space kind of a dark space and I had a voice come over me and while I in my coma said do you want to live or die?

And in that moment I had all the things in my life that I had yet to accomplish or wanted to accomplish flash before my eyes. And in that I said, I want to live. then right after that I woke up. So, you know, take that as your paranormal WTF or whatever. But I think God, I think God woke me up from that.

Brandy Schantz (06:48.91)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (06:55.342)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (07:01.216)
It was great.

It was quite the event, of course. I remember rushing up to the hospital. Your parents were already there. think your siblings were on their way from Boston. And so many friends and rushing to the hospital to see what happened. it turned into, obviously, a few weeks of what next? What's going to happen next? Is he going to make it? And in the end, you survived what

Jeremy Tammone (07:28.98)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (07:32.14)
was the unsurvivable. You know, so many people did not think you were going to make it and you did.

Jeremy Tammone (07:34.87)
Yeah, I beat out a... Yeah. Yeah, the doctors had given me like a less than 20 % chance of survival.

Brandy Schantz (07:42.538)
Yeah, yeah, it was, you know, it almost felt miraculous. You know, you came out and we were, know, you know, so many emotions, obviously, you know, for your friends and family, just so much jubilation, excitement, just thankfulness, but also shock. was, you know, talk about the fight of your life. And, you know, afterwards, you know, your life has changed quite a bit and

You know, on this podcast, we talk a lot about what it means to, you know, live this new life. You know, this is not the life you expected. Nobody plans for this to happen. And now you have to figure out this new life. So tell me a little bit about the changes in your life and you know, what every day looks like for you now.

Jeremy Tammone (08:18.442)
for.

Jeremy Tammone (08:29.526)
Well, the changes in my life, the big changes, I lost my job. I couldn't work anymore, which is kind of like the dream job for me. I was working as a veteran. I managed to get a job as a contractor working for the Department of Defense and working out of the Pentagon and a few other places in DC that don't really need a name. But I had basically the dream job. It was awesome. It was amazing. I was doing everything I wanted to do when I got out of the military.

Brandy Schantz (08:33.198)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (08:47.342)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (08:58.446)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (08:58.871)
Yeah, so I mean the changes also I can't eat I haven't eaten food for sustenance Just said you know keep you keep the body going in seven years Which is a crazy thought? The other big change I've lost probably close to 110 or 120 pounds since then I'm a skinny twig now compared to what I was

Brandy Schantz (09:17.88)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (09:29.46)
Some of it's been a bit of a blessing. Some of it's been, you know, waking up to this kind of new reality is really weird. I mean, I wake up every morning or anytime I'm in the bathroom and I still see those wounds. You know, you can still see them fresh on me now. The wounds from that initial night of being shot. It's horrible. You know, I don't wish this on this kind of trauma on anybody, even on my worst enemies.

Brandy Schantz (09:36.238)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (09:46.35)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (09:56.462)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (10:04.654)
you know, each day's, each day's kind of like a journey, a test in a journey or even just an accomplishment of an adaptation for resilience and how resilient the body can be. You you're experiencing that too.

Brandy Schantz (10:05.716)
It's difficult.

Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (10:17.376)
Yes, resilience.

Jeremy Tammone (10:24.48)
You know, the simplest task you take for granted like bending over to tie your shoe. I can't do that. I can't even do that. I don't even tie my shoes anymore. I just tuck the laces into the shoe and put my foot in and that's it.

Brandy Schantz (10:28.909)
Yes.

Brandy Schantz (10:34.464)
Yeah. You got to get those sketchers slip-ins. Just put your foot right in.

Jeremy Tammone (10:40.011)
Yeah, right, I don't know we'll see but um You know also not being able to eat or drink it impacts everybody's life You know especially just basic social interactions with even co-workers is difficult you know you don't do those things anymore and You know there's so many years have gone by at times change. You people's lives change and you know, there's a lot of

Brandy Schantz (10:50.029)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (11:07.574)
Family events that people are going through I can't attend to go to you know weddings simple things I can't go to that shit stuff You know I

Brandy Schantz (11:16.878)
It's okay, it's okay. We just mark that on the podcast and everybody moves on.

Jeremy Tammone (11:22.294)
Okay, good. There's a, you know, I've had an open abdominal wound for all these years and I still, even now I still have drains sticking out of my body, draining various fluids. It's disgusting. And you know, it's, there's things going on in the body that end up happening that people that are living now my age still have all their normal organs that they were born with. And you can imagine having this happen to you.

Brandy Schantz (11:28.204)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (11:32.962)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (11:48.45)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (11:54.094)
Well, it changes your whole life and simple things like you talked about, just eating. That brings so much joy, just sitting down and having a meal with friends and having to learn how to live with that. Yes.

Jeremy Tammone (12:01.748)
Yeah, exactly. Or just going for a simple walk. Even all that's difficult in a way, you just can't do it anymore.

Brandy Schantz (12:11.788)
Mm-hmm.

Well, I think obviously you went through something very severe. So many people, when they've come across this big change in life and they find themselves dealing with a very sudden, a very catastrophic traumatic event, an illness, a sudden disability, there's a time of grieving for your former self.

one thing seems to be consistent. Everybody has a difficult time grieving their former self. How do you do that? How have you approached doing that?

Jeremy Tammone (12:53.247)
Well, grieving myself, well, for starters, I'm extremely private when it comes to my grieving. The only a few people you can count on one hand has ever seen me in a complete breakdown situation about it. It's been hard to even let people in close enough to...

Brandy Schantz (12:59.79)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (13:05.934)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (13:16.47)
It's difficult to just let people in, let them get close enough for me to even just open up on, let them know what's going on or how I'm actually feeling. This is bold crap, stuff like that.

Brandy Schantz (13:19.022)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (13:25.111)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (13:32.503)
grieving for yourself it's a process and it's a profound it's as profound as it is painful to do there's a lot of moments of anger sadness and longing for the person that I once was and a lot of things you have to do is you have to acknowledge that loss you got to sit with it and you got to think about it and just so you can

sit there with it and maybe meditate or not but just to be able to feel the full weight of that change and you know because part of that grief is you're dealing with that change in your life.

Brandy Schantz (14:08.343)
Thanks

Jeremy Tammone (14:10.55)
You know, as long as the way it changes your essence, your spirit, who you were, even your core values that you used to deal with, you know, even to keep those intact is difficult when you're grieving. But grieving for my former self has allowed me to embrace the person that am now to the person I was. And it's allowed me to kind of...

forge my resilience, strength, just continue to be unbrinkable with it. I have a print in my house. It's about, and it's kind of what keeps me going every day. It basically says you may see me struggle, but you'll never see me quit. That's kind of like my motto now, you know? Every morning when I wake up, I come downstairs to my living room, I look at that, and that's kind of keeps you going.

Brandy Schantz (14:52.238)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (15:01.91)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (15:02.838)
You you live every day, have to live it day by day. It's just, it's all difficult, you know, this isn't a cakewalk by any means.

Brandy Schantz (15:11.944)
No, and you know, that's, you know, what's interesting. know, there are two different paths to take when something like this happens. You can either continue to build that resilience and fight and keep choosing life or you choose to give up. And it's hard to keep choosing resilience. It really is.

Jeremy Tammone (15:34.421)
Yeah, it's incredibly difficult. I mean, I live with my demons every day. Every night I'm like, I'm like, this. I gotta blow my freaking brains out what's left of them. And, know, I don't do it because I know that tomorrow's another day. You know, that's how I do it. You know, I go to sleep every night and go, okay, tomorrow's another day. Maybe I'll get that phone call from the transplant department and, you know, stuff like that. cause...

Brandy Schantz (15:42.51)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (15:49.88)
That's a really good perspective.

Brandy Schantz (16:01.016)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (16:03.828)
You know, I mean, when we were talking about the changes before, the biggest changes is, you know, I now I now need five organs for transplant and I'm going through the hospital.

Brandy Schantz (16:11.854)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (16:14.91)
and the doctors like the renowned transplant doctor and he says everything will be fine but I need five organs so I mean even just dealing with that and a lot of that's just hurry up and wait and as veterans we're always used to that because that's all you you do when when you're in the military is you hurry up and wait forever exactly so I mean that's all I'm doing I'm doing just another exercise of hurry up and wait so you know every night now what keeps me going is you know maybe tomorrow will be that phone call

Brandy Schantz (16:22.156)
Yeah, it's a lot.

Brandy Schantz (16:26.659)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (16:32.35)
trained as well.

Brandy Schantz (16:39.16)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (16:44.098)
Yeah? That hope. Hope. You know...

Jeremy Tammone (16:45.623)
because you never know. that's how I keep going. And you know, you find a new hobby, you gotta find something else to do. I play more video games than I ever thought I would in my life. You know, things to keep you going. What you gotta do is watch movies. Yeah, exactly, you gotta find your path.

Brandy Schantz (16:52.44)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (16:59.554)
Yeah, find your way.

Well, I'm glad you talked about that, I think that's more normal than people think. think a lot of people view, you know, I hear it all the time, oh, you're just resilient. You just went through something and then bam, you bounced back up. And it's not true. And that's one of the reasons I started the podcast, because I'll go through some pretty terrible moments where I'm like, no, it's time to end it. And then I'll wake up the next day.

And I'll say, no, you know what, let me try again. I think I've got this. Let me see how I can make this day better. And I think the more we talk about those really difficult moments when you don't want to go forward, but then say, you know what, tomorrow's another day. I think people will get a better understanding of how normal it is to feel that kind of despair and depression. It's very normal. You're not alone.

Jeremy Tammone (17:50.059)
Yeah.

I agree with you more. mean, I what else keeps me going is the fact that this kind of injury that I have I think to myself Nobody other than me is gonna do what I'm doing and just wait this years out till That glimmer of hope that you're gonna be a whole person again, you know, I think I'm the only person in this world with this injury that

Brandy Schantz (18:09.39)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (18:14.56)
wouldn't take the easier road of just ending it and being done with it. I have it and I don't plan to even though there's a lot of times when I want to. To me that's cutting myself short and that's also disappointing my network of friends and things like that, the people that are drawing strength off of just me continuing every day.

Brandy Schantz (18:17.058)
Yeah. Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (18:24.905)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (18:32.447)
right people who love you.

Brandy Schantz (18:39.469)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (18:39.937)
you lot of people just draw their own strength off of yours and they use that as an inspiration to keep doing what they're doing and you know you're kind of like a pseudo role model if you will so I'm like if I blow my brains off today then you know then the last few years of motivating people has been a lie I've been lying to them if I just off myself is how it feels and so you know that that's another thing that keeps me going

Brandy Schantz (18:53.28)
It's... Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (19:09.086)
I can't disappoint everybody that's so impressed with just the fact that I'm still going after all these years.

Brandy Schantz (19:15.086)
almost importantly yourself. It's about you. And this is the real stuff that people need to be talking about because mental health issues come with the disability every single time. Nobody gets away from them. Nobody lives without it. Nobody gets out of this one. We're all there. Everybody has to deal with it. Nobody's special, unfortunately.

Jeremy Tammone (19:17.536)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (19:36.564)
Yeah, you got it.

That's right.

Brandy Schantz (19:41.258)
would love if somebody could, if even one person could get through this without a mental health struggle, I'd love it. Unfortunately, it's just, you know, it's like death and taxes. Might as well add that one in, mental health issues that come with traumatic events. It took, you know, after you were shot, it took a number of years to finally get the guy. Now, of course, because of

Jeremy Tammone (19:56.971)
Yeah, exactly.

Brandy Schantz (20:08.942)
the woman who was with you, her ex-boyfriend, she immediately mentioned him, but it took years before they could actually charge him with shooting you. And that whole thing finally came to an end.

Jeremy Tammone (20:22.08)
A lot of that had to do with COVID. A lot of that had to do with the COVID crisis when the planet went on lockdown and the country did. What happened was in Fairfax County, which is where he was being held, they shut the courts down when the whole country went on lockdown and that put a delay on everything. That delayed all the court, the entire court process was delayed. So we were delayed probably three years in bringing this to trial.

Brandy Schantz (20:29.944)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (20:42.35)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (20:50.028)
Yeah. But he was finally convicted. And that must have been a relief of some sort for you. Just to close the chapter.

Jeremy Tammone (20:51.094)
just because of COVID. Yeah, he was convicted.

Jeremy Tammone (20:59.831)
well.

Jeremy Tammone (21:08.668)
Let's see, I some notes on that.

It's not necessarily closure that we got from it, you know, I mean, you don't get... It's just, uh, you get more of a sense of justice than anything else, which is what I got. Um, it wasn't closure. It's still not closure, because that SOB's eating three meals a day, got a roof over his head, and for all intents and purposes, yeah, if he needs medical help or medical attention, he can get it in a prison. Uh, but yeah, we went to the trial. We were there every day.

Brandy Schantz (21:23.264)
All right.

Brandy Schantz (21:30.435)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (21:38.125)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (21:42.321)
and we were there for the conviction and then we were there for the sentencing hearing. He got life in prison plus 48 years, which is the over maximum penalty and the entire family was in the judge gave the entire family, including him, he put the entire family on a lifetime restraining order to protect me.

Brandy Schantz (21:46.531)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (21:51.598)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (22:07.36)
the ex-girlfriend he was stalking, which is another podcast in and of itself to talk about, and all the other things he was convicted and tried for. yeah, so I mean, so anytime anybody does anything, creates some kind of email or a text message and I get informed.

Brandy Schantz (22:13.057)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (22:29.75)
You know, if he gets moved from one prison to another, I get told about it. You know, if anybody in the family comes near me or tries to put in contact with me, I can report them. go to jail. You know, it's literally a life and it says it on the sheet for the restraining order, a lifetime order, which is also something that was unheard of by the judge alone. I mean, that that shocked everybody on the pro, including the prosecuting attorney. She's like, she was like, I've never, ever seen that before.

Brandy Schantz (22:34.35)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (22:51.021)
Right.

Brandy Schantz (22:54.806)
wow.

Jeremy Tammone (22:58.98)
Yeah, we're protected beyond protected, you know. What?

Brandy Schantz (23:00.418)
Well, it's good to get you some protection. It's interesting. I immediately thought to myself closure, but what you said reminded me of another veteran who came on this podcast, John Register, and he lost his leg. And he said that everybody asks if, you know, you overcame losing your leg. And he said, no, I didn't. If I overcame losing my leg, I'd get my leg back. You know?

Jeremy Tammone (23:24.166)
Exactly, yeah. The other thing is, you know, although yeah, there was justice in the legal system did its part and there but your emotional and psychological scars never ever freaking go away.

Brandy Schantz (23:34.797)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (23:38.691)
Right.

Jeremy Tammone (23:38.711)
You know, when we got done, the, know, the detective's team of detectives and everybody in Fairfax County, you know, police department one, I did such a great job that I wrote a letter to the, to the chief of police in Fairfax. I said, you know, this is everything he did. You know, this primary detective and his team did. I was like, at a minimum, at least give them an award or something. They deserve it. You know, I wrote a whole thing up, you know, like I used to do for my, my soldiers when I was in the army, when they put them in for an award.

Brandy Schantz (24:01.752)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (24:06.871)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (24:08.664)
And they approved it and they gave me an annual award. We went to the ceremony and everything and During that ceremony now they called that whole team up and then during that time they called me up so then I am on stage with the whole detective team that took care of me in the case and Instead of giving them the award they gave it to me which now hangs on my wall over here. So

Brandy Schantz (24:30.204)
That's really sweet, I like that.

Jeremy Tammone (24:33.522)
So now I have Fairfax County Police Department. I'm not a member, but I'm like I'm like their chosen child, if you will. It's really cool and was unexpected. I'm like, you guys can't give me this award that's cheating that defeats the purpose of why I did this. They're like, no, no, no, you deserve it more because just because you're still here with us. I'm like, I'm like, that's fair enough. I'll take that. Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (24:52.654)
Yeah, you know, it's that lifetime of service. Well, you know, I think we understand it because we both chose a life of service. And when you meet other people who also chose a life of service and who love providing that service and, you know, seeing people reap rewards from that service, it is a good feeling. You know, I'm sure you feel similar to the way I do. I'll never...

Jeremy Tammone (25:01.108)
Right.

Brandy Schantz (25:19.776)
not love my time in service and miss it because you know doing something that's greater than yourself I think is just so fulfilling. So I understand. Yum.

Jeremy Tammone (25:29.504)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (25:33.614)
So you're learning to live a new life and obviously it's difficult. Have you really been able to define the new you in a way and come to a place where you could say, you know what, this is me, this is what I'm doing.

Jeremy Tammone (25:47.891)
It's not so much defining the new me. A lot of times every day I go, even if I get my organ transplant and the recovery alone is going to be over a year, it'll be at least a year, if not two years before I even eat food again.

Brandy Schantz (26:01.262)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (26:05.822)
It takes that long for the organs in your body to wake up as they call it in the hospital. But it's not so much finding anemia. I go, well, you know what? If I am OK enough to at least get in my car and get a job and get off this social security disability and all that stuff, what will I do and stuff like that? So there are some relationships for my old job I keep alive.

Brandy Schantz (26:11.266)
Right.

Brandy Schantz (26:25.89)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (26:33.121)
People are like, yeah, know, if you ever get back to that state where you think you can work again, let us know. You know, we'll see what we can do for you. So, you know, a lot of times I'm networking myself to just kind of keep, keep the old career alive, but I'm afraid of reinventing myself because when I, when I joined the army back in 2009, 2010,

Brandy Schantz (26:45.614)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (26:55.767)
2008, 2009, I wanted to reinvent myself because I was fresh out of the Marine Corps before I went into the Army. And I was in a go-nowher job that I'm like, something's got to change. So I reinvented myself by joining the Army and picking a whole new career field, one that...

had a trance was more transportable or transferable when you leave the army come into the civilian world and you can get a decent job coming out. You know, I made that those are the mistakes you make sometimes when you're 18, 19 years old and you go into the military and you don't, you don't know what to do. You know, you don't realize that, you know, and I should pick a job that, you know, when I get out of the military, I can get a decent paying salary job out in the end.

Brandy Schantz (27:22.894)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (27:40.824)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (27:40.929)
You know, I learned that later on. So that's what I did. I reinvented myself when I joined in the army to do that. And I got that job and I had that nice fat paycheck and you know, and I was able to buy this wonderful house that I'm in that you and your husband Steve helped me find for probably took eight months for me to find, but I found one and

You know, I live my days just going, know, if I was whole again, what would I do? You know, what could I, and I, sometimes I do do those things and sometimes I don't. Sometimes I'm like, I can't do that anymore. Damn it. And sometimes I'm like, you know what? I could do that and I'll go do it or I'll try. You know, I mean, I live a life of what's called wound dressings. You know, I have a huge dressing on my chest that I can't show. I'm not going to show you here on this.

Brandy Schantz (28:10.755)
Right.

Brandy Schantz (28:15.042)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (28:20.812)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (28:26.86)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (28:33.527)
But you know, it's great and it holds up for a certain amount of hours and time and but certain activities can make it break down and when that happens, you got to stop what you're doing and you have to go to your room. You have to pull some medical supplies out and you have to take the old dressing off, put a new one on and that takes a couple hours to do. And so that's that's time out of my life. I lose but.

Brandy Schantz (28:49.934)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (28:54.018)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (28:59.349)
A lot of times I just spend my days playing video games and just wondering what else I could do with myself when I'm whole again. If I'm ever whole again. I don't know. If I ever will be. You know, I do things in the hope that I will be, but I just can't say I will.

Brandy Schantz (29:06.467)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (29:10.178)
Well, you know, yeah. Well, you know, of course, I'm holding out hope that, you know, that you get all five organs and, you know, get to get to that wholeness in some way. But in so many ways, when you've gone through something like this, you're never the same. And that's OK, too. You know, I, as you know, I also reinvented myself when the Crohn's just started ravaging my body and I just could not.

Jeremy Tammone (29:32.224)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (29:39.81)
do the things I used to do. And then I faced that again when I had the reaction and started with all the neurologic nonsense and the stuff that came with that. And I'm just never gonna be the person I once was. But I think I bring the old me into my new activities as much as possible. And that's what I try to remember. The old me didn't go away. That's still very important to what I do.

Jeremy Tammone (30:04.502)
you

Brandy Schantz (30:08.33)
And I try to keep that in mind. I really do. I like to think that my years as an intelligence officer in the Army, my experience in Afghanistan, experience leading troops, being of service, working in intelligence, working policy. I like to think that it built the foundation that makes me the person I am today that now has a podcast and consulting business.

and serves the state of Virginia to help disabled people. So I like to think that that person's still there. just, I'm just wearing a different outfit, you know? A little different outfit.

Jeremy Tammone (30:46.229)
Yeah, that's an excellent way to look at I look at it kind of in the same way, you know? I'm like, can still do my old job. I just can't get there to go do it. Yeah, no, that's awesome. That's a great outlook, Brady. That's really good.

Brandy Schantz (31:03.278)
It's, you know, like we said, it's hard to get there. It's hard for everybody, but we do the best we can. So what advice would you give to people who are having a hard time accepting their new lives, who are having a hard time getting through that, you know, that thing that we all go through that, oh my gosh, my life should end.

Jeremy Tammone (31:12.544)
You got it.

Jeremy Tammone (31:25.802)
Well, a lot of it has to do with acceptance and acceptance is part of that journey you go through when it comes to accepting new lives. So some advice I'd have is to take away, is to take it one day at a time, like we've talked about before in this conversation already. You gotta take it one day at a time and you gotta give yourself the grace, some grace and patience to do that.

It's also, also you have to realize, come to the realization that it's okay to mourn the life you once you had, but you can't let it define your future. Cause then you're going down, down that nasty negative rabbit hole.

Brandy Schantz (31:59.149)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (32:05.462)
You gotta surround yourself with a good support system that understands and can uplift you at times you need, in times that you need it the most. Also, other ways to do it would be to find new ways to engage with the new world you're experiencing, whether that be through new hobbies or communities you're getting involved in or even setting some new personal goals.

One of the most important things is you got to focus is focus You got to focus on what you can do rather than what you can't do or what's lost again what you can't do above all You got to remember that your worth is not determined by your physical abilities But it's but it's also done by the strength of your character alone your resilience and the loving kindness you bring into the world as well

Brandy Schantz (32:41.102)
Yes.

Brandy Schantz (32:53.55)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (32:58.679)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (32:59.063)
You got to embrace the new you and know and know ever You know every challenge is an opportunity to grow and redefine those limits That's it's about the best way to do it, you know

Brandy Schantz (33:10.35)
That's really great advice. Yeah, that is really great advice. That is really great advice.

Jeremy Tammone (33:16.63)
Yeah, you can't dwell on the negative. told Channel 4 DC when they were interviewing me a couple times, you can't dwell on the negative. Because when you do that, that puts you down the wrong hole. then the only place you could go from there is taking that easy route. And that easy route's not easy for anybody else or for you. You can't sit here and dwell on it. It's just going to bring you down farther.

Brandy Schantz (33:35.373)
All

Brandy Schantz (33:39.714)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (33:44.94)
Mm-hmm.

Jeremy Tammone (33:45.775)
You know, gotta focus on at least find some speck or snowflake of positivity and you gotta draw off all that energy and suck it dry. You know, you can't dwell on it.

Brandy Schantz (33:56.461)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (34:01.122)
Well, you you're doing, I mean, great for where you're at. you know, I'll never stop being thankful for that moment. They came out and said that, you're going to make it. And I'm so glad that you're still here and fighting every day. you know, hopefully we'll get to that next, next place. I'm trying to remember which organ are you waiting on to come in?

Jeremy Tammone (34:05.546)
Thank you.

Jeremy Tammone (34:23.094)
you

I'm waiting on a stomach, your small bowel, is also known as your small intestines, of my pancreas, which my pancreas I still have, but there's a big problem with it and that needs to be replaced. Also, a liver has to come with it because your stomach and your liver are like two peas in a pod. You can't survive without one or the other. You have to have both of them because you're born with them. They're like a matched pair. And then your colon.

Brandy Schantz (34:30.519)
Mm-hmm.

Brandy Schantz (34:45.389)
Yep.

Brandy Schantz (34:51.138)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, that's five.

Jeremy Tammone (34:54.813)
and now I need a colon too because yeah and with all the the medication and stuff that I do and the IV infusions that I get are destroying my liver slowly but surely so that's the reason for the liver and all that takes a toll on your whole them as well so that's gonna get thrown out and they gotta give me a new one so there's your five

Brandy Schantz (35:04.61)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (35:10.392)
Yeah, absolutely.

So we need some new organs, folks. Where do we find these? Send them in, friends. Send them in, Living Chronic Nation. Definitely become an organ donor. This is really important. We were just discussing. I have a very detailed will now, living will, all the things. I want to make sure that everything that is healthy comes out of me when I die so that somebody else can live.

Jeremy Tammone (35:19.402)
Yeah, become a donor, become an organ donor. Yeah, yeah, right. Also...

Jeremy Tammone (35:35.991)
Also I wanted to mention real quick before we conclude this, you know I talked earlier about having a solid support system. I wouldn't be where I am without my parents who came out of retirement basically and basically moved in with me here at my house. And they're my 24-7 support system. They've been my rocks and my solid. And although we don't get along as well as we'd like and

Brandy Schantz (35:46.894)
Mm.

Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (36:03.594)
This disaster of mine has kind of strained our relationship, but I'll be forever grateful for them and all the work they've done. They're 81 years old now and they're not getting any younger and this is killing them as much as it's killing me to do. We all need some closure to this. So my parents could go back to their retirement life and I'd like them to do that too.

Brandy Schantz (36:09.006)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (36:12.771)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (36:21.602)
Yeah, absolutely.

Jeremy Tammone (36:26.698)
But I have to thanks to my parents and for my other good friends, Monica and some of my old coworkers as well, who do check in on me from time to time. And a good thing for social media as well, that's been a big help to me. It's evil as well as it is good, depending on how you use it.

Brandy Schantz (36:42.552)
Yeah.

Brandy Schantz (36:47.118)
That's the truth. That is the truth. It's a great outreach, a great place for being in touch with people, getting good information. It could also be terrible to tell you use it. All right. Well, thank you so much for being on the show, Jeremy. We'd love to have you back. I want to hear more about these transplants, and hopefully we get to that next level. So thank you for being on Living Chronic, and we will certainly have you back again.

Jeremy Tammone (36:49.674)
Yeah.

Jeremy Tammone (37:01.76)
Thank you for having me here. been great. Thank you.

Jeremy Tammone (37:13.138)
Absolutely.

Thank you very much, Brandy. It's been fun and I look forward to the next time.