Middle School Life
Welcome to Middle School Life, where innovation meets education! Join us as we explore the latest trends, share inspiring ideas, and discuss strategies to create an enriching middle school experience for all.
In each episode, your hosts, Assistant Principal Victoria Hammond and middle school teacher Dr. Jennifer Erdmann, will bring their wealth of knowledge and passion for education to the forefront.
Middle School Life
Addressing the Invisible: Unpacking Mental Health Struggles and Solutions in Schools
In our latest episode, we sit down with Brittany Dean, a seasoned school counselor, and a registered therapist who is deeply aware of the mental health challenges our students are facing. She offers invaluable insights on the rising mental health issues among students and shares practical tips on identifying struggling students, understanding their behavior changes, and effectively navigating this as an educator.
We illuminate the importance of providing effective mental health support in schools and educators managing their own mental wellbeing. We also delve into the power of kindness and glimmers, those little sparks that can refuel our spirits. Brittany emphasizes how these acts of kindness can serve as powerful tools for practicing empathy and uplifting those around us.
As we wrap up our enlightening conversation, we bring to light the need for more professionals in schools, data collection for student interventions, and the significance of coping skills while disciplining. So tune in and join us in this essential, mind-opening conversation - it's one that every educator, parent, and anyone who interacts with students simply cannot afford to miss!
Today we are joined by our first official guest, ms Brittany Dean. She's a school counselor and also a registered therapist and she's joining us today to take on that side of SEL. And when we're dealing with those students and providing consequences and discipline, how are we able to utilize those tools or what are some of the things that you know as a school counselor and therapist that can help guide that work, not only for the students but also for ourselves, and we are so glad you are joining us here today. Thank you so much for coming in.
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you for having me. I'm very excited. I've been following the podcast. It's really really good stuff, so I'm very excited.
Speaker 3:I hope that, not only that, if you guys haven't listened to the other previous episodes, that you get caught up, because I think today's episode is going to bring everything in full circle.
Speaker 1:It really is. I know our podcast is called Middle School Life the podcast, but there are so many relatable factors for anybody in education, all the way up from kindergarten, all the way up through college. So if you know somebody who's in education or interested in education, or has kids in education, this podcast is for you.
Speaker 3:So I thought it might be a good idea to start the podcast out with a statistic that I found and this statistic is from just this year, march of 2023 from the Centers for Disease Control that found that 40% of high school students were suffering from overwhelming stress and anxiety, and that is a 50% increase from 2011. The data on girls is even more alarming. That's in. It stated that nearly three in five girls felt persistently sad or hopeless, which is double that of boys. The figure also represents a nearly 60% increase from 2011 and the highest level reported over the past decade. Nearly one in three students seriously considered attempting suicide, up nearly 60% from a decade ago. Among the LGBTQ plus youth, the trends are even more alarming. This is very scary.
Speaker 2:Yes and it's very true and we have to think too those, those are just the kids that are reporting, those are just the kids we know about. And we did last year the Wellbeing Promotion Program with USF and basically we surveyed most kids in our school on their level of happiness and it was alarming how many of our students were extremely unhappy. And it was, it was all kinds, it was kids who were low income, it was students who were in our advanced program, it was students who you would have never. They were peers you would have never, ever thought they were struggling.
Speaker 3:That was shocking for me. Yes, when that, when that list came out, some of the kids with the biggest smiles on their face yeah you know were on that list. They're just and those.
Speaker 2:I think those are the ones you have to worry about the most, and you know, tying it back to discipline we, we know the children that are acting out. We know that there's something going on, because I've always said with kids there's always a reason. But it's the kids that I think aren't acting out that we have to worry about as well, because we don't know what's going on. And even as a school counselor, I can't get with every kid and so I'm not a teacher. And more power to teachers. I mean, I don't know how you guys do it. Every single day I am in awe of teachers, but it is ultimately the teacher's responsibility first to know their kids, to know what's going on. If you see something's off, especially with the behavior, then that's a student that I definitely need to talk to.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I really think it resonated with me when you were talking about how some of those students aren't showing any of those tendencies, and so one of my questions is and I don't know if you have an answer for this is if we don't have those kids who are asking for help in loving or unloving ways. Do you know any of those signs and symptoms for those students who are the ones you would least expect it? Are there any like certain things to be looking out for as teachers?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure I will say I've worked with Jen Dr Erdman more than I've worked with Tori, but when I was Jen's school counselor, when she was teaching in a different position, she was really good about knowing her kids, and we have many, many teachers that are really good about knowing when there is a change, even if it's a slight change.
Speaker 2:So that's definitely something to pick up on For me. I'm very big on making sure our kids that are going through things have labels and like their profile that, the profile system that we use. There's literally an icon for almost everything. There's even an icon for a student who has witnessed something awful, and I think I know teachers have a lot going on. But even taking just a few minutes to look at your kids in their profile and see if there's this type of folder, it means they're in foster care. You might not even know they might be fine and school might be their safe place and they're great in your class because at home things are awful, and so I think it's just really paying attention to how they are every day. I mean, I know that's asking a lot and I think teachers are teachers for a reason. There's an instinct that you have and when you pick up on that instinct, call the school counselor right away.
Speaker 3:That term with-it-ness. If you have with-it-ness in your classroom, you're going to know just the slightest change in that, in that student's behavior but, I, also think that that could take a long time to develop yes and for our newer teachers. They're overwhelmed just by being a new teacher. What are, what are, some things that they can look for if they're also trying to learn their students and be a new teacher themselves?
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, so Jen and I are at the same school and we do have a lot of new teachers and I think the biggest thing I would say and I'm coming from the place of the school counselor, because I've never been a teacher, my background is strictly mental health but ask, I think, ask the school counselors, ask the school psych. I would say, ask the school counselor specifically at our school, because we would know the kids more. But ask, I think, just ask, like hey, are there any students that I need to heads up on? Is there anything you think I need to be aware of overall, like what's, what's the climate, what's the temperature of our, our kids this year?
Speaker 2:And then also again going back to those labels in their profile what does this color folder mean? I'm more than happy to tell you what's going on with that student. Well, I openly email the teachers and be like, just so you know, the student had XYZ happened to them. No, because that's the students business, but I will. I, I implore all teachers new teachers, veteran teachers ask the school counselors, because we are an open book and that was one of my questions to kind of a follow-up is what can you share?
Speaker 2:so I think for me personally as a school counselor, when something does happen with one of our kids, or we get a new student that has a background of trauma, or we know they struggle behavior wise, I immediately send an email to the teachers. Let them, I'll give them a heads up. I don't usually include details and I ask an email please call me for details because I don't really want it out there but I do think it's important that teachers know what the kids are going through and I don't share everything. I don't share things that need to be known by the teachers, that don't help the student right. Does that make sense? Like?
Speaker 3:I think your personal conversations with the right unless it's something that can help help me, help them right academically or behaviorally in my classroom. Really, I think that's that would be. You know, really what the most information I would need, the not necessarily the nitty-gritty details of their childhood trauma, right, or whatever it is they're dealing with.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, and I think with I mean I'm talking, I've worked title one, I've worked non title one, I've worked at a elementary school that was much like the school where Tori's at and there are behaviors there too. But I feel like in title one, like I said, there's always a reason. With kids and for, unfortunately, a large majority of our students, we are the most structure they receive, and so I don't want teachers to feel as though, because a child has trauma, there can be no discipline. In fact there needs to be discipline. Am I saying scream at this child? Absolutely not. I am saying understand the child and meet them where they're at and provide that structure that they're not getting at home.
Speaker 3:That's an amazing point. I love that because they still need. They still need that structure. They also crave that structure.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:I really do.
Speaker 2:And I think, too, we had talked about this before I came on the podcast is like, as an educator, know your triggers too, like know what's going to set you off. I was looking up some statistics as well, and I found that about almost 12% of teens in the US have been diagnosed depressed. That's diagnosed depressed. However, 77% of educators have been diagnosed depressed. Wow, I think a lot of that, too, is burnout, high, high burnout in education right now, because we have the teachers. We have educators who are tired and we have educators who care so much that it feels hard to reach every student, like I know. For me personally, as a school counselor, it's something I have to work on every day to not bring it home, to not bring it home to my daughter.
Speaker 3:And one of the things that I mentioned at the beginning. I hope other people beyond teachers and educators listen to this, not only so they have a true insight as to what we are dealing with and what our students are dealing with, but it's amazing to me that they keep pulling our resources for mental health, Despite the statistics that you and I both have shared. We are in desperate need.
Speaker 2:And I mean your statistic that you shared alone is proof of that and I completely agree.
Speaker 2:I mean, I think more and more is being put on the school counselors to handle mental health and we definitely need more resources and more support.
Speaker 2:And something I want to touch on too is I know there's parents at home for our kids right, and we did for lack of a better word a PD and I go into these and I'm like, well, I'm a school counselor, I know what I'm doing, I know SEL, but I actually I took a nugget home with me, a nugget of knowledge that there's something they said in there and it's are the parents willing or are they able?
Speaker 2:And that's something I'm really trying to focus on this year, because in previous years I would. I would go home angry Like why do I care more than some of these parents? Some of them aren't able financially, some of them have their own mental health struggles. Unfortunately, we have some substance abuse issues in our area and so I think, like you said, more is being put on the teachers, because we have parents that aren't able to be there for their kids, and that is another reason why we need more mental health support in schools, because that is where those kids are going to get that extra support if they're not getting it at home.
Speaker 1:And I just wanted to ask, since we have your expertise here today, what are some of those things so you mentioned, like those triggers, like know your triggers, know those things that are going to maybe like suck a lot of the empathy out of you and know how to refill your tank, because if your tank isn't full, as the educator, if you're not intentionally feeding your tank, it can absolutely be depleting. So, from your expertise, what are some of those things we can do as adults, in administration, in the classroom, as any type of school employee? What are some of those things that you think are good practices for self care? What is, what are some of those things we can do to help build up some of our own resiliency so that we can pass on and model those for the kids, so that they can practice their own SEO?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so first and foremost and I bet if there's any school counselors listening they're going to shake their fists at me go to your school counselor. We're there for the kids, but we're also there for you and we can give you resources, because I recommend therapy for anyone. When I got my master's degree it was required and so I think it's just somewhere to unpack, it's someone to talk to to unpack everything you're feeling and how to work on being able to go in that classroom and be there for those kids. Because I'm going to be honest, there are days for me where my empathy is lacking and I'm like, who do I need to talk to to refuel? And usually it's my other school counselor, who's amazing. He's awesome. I think, accessing your school counselor because we have different programs that are available to you and it's someone to talk to that can give you honest feedback, that knows, kind of, what you're going through.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, that's a huge one.
Speaker 1:I think, another thing for me I was just reading this article the other day and there was this word and I just loved it A because it reminded me of glitter, which is a little bit of a sidebar, but I read something and it was.
Speaker 1:It was basically saying, like you know, when we're having our tanks are empty and we're not really sure what else to do, to search for glimmers. So I had heard of triggers before, things that are going to set you off or start, like you know, making your fuel go low. But they talked about these glimmers as an intentionally searching for things that bring you joy personally, looking for those people who bring you joy, and finding the time to make time to think about those things and then go be around those things, do those things so that you can refuel that tank. And so now I just think of the word glimmer and I'm like, oh, let me find a glimmer, let me go get a glimmer from Ms Erdman and talk to her about whatever's going on, or let me go hug on my baby because that's a, that's a big one. How are you going to build yourself back up so that you can still be the best for the students and the teachers and the people on your campus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely. I had actually forgotten about that term until we were talking about it, but it kind of goes back to what Jen was saying with, like the PBIS I think it was in a previous episode about like, yes, we want to utilize that for discipline, but also when they're doing great things, and I'm big about positive referrals. But I think use that with yourself too, right. And when we did the USF project with the kids last year, I brought home a lot of things that I still use for myself at school counseling and my private practice. There's literally, and one of the biggest things I did not think this would be such a hit with the kids, but the number one thing we did like 12 different weeks of interventions with them, right, and the number one thing they loved was acts of kindness. I'm getting the jewels even talking about it, but they had to do five acts of kindness in journal about it. I'm like they're middle schoolers, they don't care. They did it and they continued to do it.
Speaker 1:They know what an act of kindness is. They know, okay, doing something for others, but if we intentionally practice with them, hey, how did that make you feel when you held that door for someone, when you picked up their stuff that fell and they said thank you and you could see that you made a difference in their day? How did that make you feel? Because, as much as we want to be, you know, altruistic or, like you know, doing things just for the greater good of others which I do think we want to do it makes you feel good when you do something for somebody else that makes their life easier, that makes them smile, that makes their day better, and when we can build that into our students and help them feel like, oh, wow, like I did feel like this when this happened because it made their day easier.
Speaker 1:Now, okay, well, you know what that's called and then you can build in that empathy part. But it's also like it makes me think of that movie like pay it forward and like if we really truly, like, built something like that on our campus, where it wasn't just one person doesn't act a kindness, and then the next person stops, like if we really paid it forward and did unto others even more than we would want for ourselves. What a great place that would be if we could truly focus on putting that good above all else. Like how much you would have that depression rates decreasing, how much you would have people who know there's other people who care about them because they're feeling cared for. Like what a beautiful place.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And kids, most kids, love routine and love structure, right? So if we get into the habit of doing things like that, it doesn't feel forced, it doesn't feel like, oh, I'm doing this because my teacher is telling me like, oh no, this is what I'm supposed to do, this is what we do every day. And so, like you know, we have kids on behavior point sheets, that are on behavior plans and but, but what are we putting into it on our side, are we just checking it off? And but are we actually checking in with the child?
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a good question. I have signed so many of those behavior point sheets and they'll come to me at the end of the day. Mr Edmond, can you sign this for me? Sure, Do it, I did. I take the time to say how was your day? Right, you know, did I look at those points? Most of the time I tried to look at their points. If they were seeing me at the end of the day before they would check in for the final time with you, but a lot of times I signed my name. Have a good day, go see Ms Dean, Right, you know so you know. We're all. We all need to take that extra time.
Speaker 2:And I think we too, not to go off on a tangent, I think we get you guys, as teachers, get bogged down on data collection right. Bogged down on accommodation logs, iep meanings, behavior data, fbas it's. It's droning Like I get it. However, there is a reason. We're doing those things. We're doing those things to help their interventions, for a reason, and myself and some of the other staff members that work with me are the ones in meetings with districts saying this is what we're trying, this is what's working, this is not what's working, and I know teachers have a lot going on, but I just want to stress the importance of those things because we need to help the child and if it's not helping the child, we need to find somewhere for the child to be, where it is going to help them, and it's not us just throwing more work at the teachers. What is going to help the child and ultimately, help all of the kids in your classroom and you?
Speaker 3:Right, and I'm going to add to that and maybe shed some light on why we perhaps feel so frustrated, maybe with all of the data that we do need to collect and you know we need to do this and this and this but I think what would be helpful and I'm speaking for me as a teacher what would be helpful is seeing the result of that data collection. We give all the data and not we don't always get the feedback from from what happened. We obviously know the why, why we're doing that and why we're collecting that, but getting the results of that.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:And putting that last piece together for us right. Hope us understand how that data was helpful.
Speaker 2:And I do think you're 100% correct. I do think there is somewhat of a disconnect between an intervention team and the teachers, and especially when, for us, that involves district, when we have people from district coming in. And something I've wanted to implement this year, that I've talked to our principal about, is having a teacher in those meetings. Like, shouldn't the teacher always be in those meetings because they are with the student. The most they know the student, the best they're the ones implementing the interventions in the classroom. Like, shouldn't teachers have a voice on that as well?
Speaker 1:And trying to just kind of build off that and thinking of what are some of those like some problem solving around it thinking about? With the technology we have today and the resources we have today at our disposal, is there a way where let's say, for example, the teachers are collecting that on a specific student, the student intervention team is going to the district with it? Could there be some type of a live Excel document or some type of thing where we go hey, teachers, we collected this data and then we can type next to that student's name If they have all those students. Hey, we had the meeting on this date. This was the outcome of the meeting. This is what our next steps are, because then there's a visible place, because, as much as we stressed in that episode too, about communication and communication is so vital.
Speaker 1:But sometimes it is literally impossible to go speak to all the people you want to speak to or type the email to all of the different teachers, or you get distracted with the 500 other things on your to-do list to make that possible. So if you just have one document where you're, okay, this is the note taker on the sit team side. This is the person who's going to check it, maybe for the team of teachers side, but all the teachers can have access to it. That might be something that the teachers could then look at and be like, okay, I collected the data, oh, and then it went to the meeting at this date and then this was the outcome of that meeting and so we have to collect more data, or we're going to try this next step for intervention, or now they're going to be placed on a 504 IEP and get some more individualized needs met, and so I think that that could be a possible solution in some cases where people could feel more supported overall.
Speaker 1:It's like there's sometimes are like I really want to know what happened with this kid, but I can't go talk to that teacher because they're in the middle of class, or I can't go talk to that school counselor because they're talking to a student in their office and their door shut. Or it's one of those days at school where everybody's running around and trying to figure out what's going on and just trying to get through the end to the end of the day. If there's somewhere where I can go on my own and get that cool, well, now I know that's what happened and I don't even have to physically talk to somebody, send an email like it's all in one spot for me. That could possibly help.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:And then utilize that information to kind of help guide your decisions like as a teacher or guide those next steps.
Speaker 3:It really does bring in the whole team collaboration, but I think that that would eliminate this perception that nothing's getting done Right.
Speaker 1:Nothing's being done, right Exactly.
Speaker 3:That goes with discipline.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well, and I was agreeing with you 100%. I was saying out loud while I'm cleaning my room listening to the podcast, when you had touched on writing referrals right, are we going to call home if we're writing the 10th referral for the same behavior? I do think at some point it should be a discipline IA or that even the school counts are calling home saying this is another referral. This is what we're doing to work with the student. This is the interventions that we're doing to try to make sure this is a problem and that we're helping the student, we're helping the teacher. This is, yes, yes, another referral. What can we offer you as the parent, so that you're a part of the team as well?
Speaker 2:Parents don't always see the same child that we see at school, and so at home they have their electronics, they have their room, they have their privacy. At school they do not have those things. They have structure, they have required learning, they have testing, they have people that they don't necessarily like, that they have to get along with, right, which is drastically different from home. So the parents might not be aware because their child's not like that at home, or the parents might not know what the kids are going through until the child comes and speaks to a school counselor or a teacher, and then it's communicated. So again I think it goes back to is the parent willing or are they not able? Do they not know All?
Speaker 1:right. So, building off of everything we've just touched on and I think we've had some really good discussion and I think there's a lot of things we said right now that other people are going to listen to and be like, wow, yes, like I have been thinking those same types of things, and one of the things you said a little bit earlier that I just wanted to kind of touch on a little bit more was, yes, we have students who have trauma, and I know, even as an admin, like I will talk to my teachers about how I understand how frustrated you are. We know that this student has a really, really challenging background. So, can you please work with me and I want that to also be known as, yes, I'm asking you guys to work with that student and work with like administration, but I'm not saying and I don't feel like any other administrator is, although I can only talk for myself about letting them do whatever they want, because I think sometimes that is a perception of teachers is oh well, that kid has trauma, so they can do whatever they want.
Speaker 1:I don't want that ever to be the takeaway when I have a conversation with a teacher. I want it to be like I want us to partner up with a guidance counselor and work as a team so that we can provide the correct amount of support, because sometimes they're not going to respond to the same way you can. The same way you can work with some other students and they get it, it's not going to be the same for them. Sometimes yelling could be a trigger for them, or sometimes getting in their face, getting in their personal bubble, is going to cause them to react in ways that other students typically wouldn't react to, and so when I'm saying that it's, we have to find other ways to provide intervention.
Speaker 1:But the students still does need consequences. They still need to be held accountable. I'm just saying we need to find the way that we can look at their root cause of their problem and then provide them the supports and interventions that they need to meet them where they're at so that we can actually help them grow. Because sometimes using our typical approaches with students that have severe trauma or lack trust in adults is not going to be effective and writing them 15 referrals is not going to help that child learn and grow. And our end goal should not be like oh, that child is a problem, let's get rid of them. It should be. That child has so many struggles and they're screaming for help. How can we help them? And that might be going out of our comfort zone to try different things and try new things and not get in their space and not yell at them.
Speaker 1:Even when you're feeling frustrated, try to find that own SEL inside of you. Try to find your own glimmers so that you can get through it or take some space away from that student for a little bit because you're not in the right place, and I was once told this story by one of my administrators, who shall remain nameless that if you're in a place like you're not in a really good place, at that moment you're feeling very frustrated and the students frustrated, and you're both going to go at it. It's going to be like two pigs wrestling You're both going to get dirty, nobody's coming out clean and at the end of the day, nobody is winning. Nobody, nobody's winning, the kids not winning. You're not winning, you're frustrated, like there isn't a good solution to that problem.
Speaker 1:So, working together to try to find that and I know you had mentioned that they still do want that accountability Do you have any pieces of information that could help help us when we're looking at those kids that have that trauma? What are some ways we can still hold them accountable? Or what are some of? What are some of those ideas you had had that you were talking about earlier?
Speaker 2:I think, too, from my experience, most kids with trauma want to be like kids who don't have trauma right, and so in the classroom, it's not like we can be like well, guys, I know you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, but Johnny has trauma, so that's why he's throwing a desk and we can't do that. You can't do that right. And I think, on a certain level, children with trauma want to be held responsible. They want to be like their classmates. They want to be in school and focus. They just don't know how. And so I think, with discipline, yes, they need that structure, but the part that comes in with kids with trauma is helping them utilize coping skills. Right, you're absolutely right.
Speaker 2:Some kids don't respond to yelling. I'm not a big fan of it, for any kid Might be unknown, but it's. It's tying in. It's still discipline, but it's tying in the coping skills. It's tying in like I know what you're going through, I'm here for you, but we also still have to learn. We also still have to be here. We're here to learn and I think, on a certain level, children with trauma want to be like their peers. They want to be able to sit in a classroom and learn.
Speaker 3:In my classroom I have experienced kids with obviously severe trauma. As a teacher I don't feel I've got the skills sometimes to help those kids.
Speaker 2:Nor should you have to.
Speaker 3:And so and there's just becoming so many more of them, you know that we need help helping them. A lot of this is falling on the teachers when we don't have the skills, which is not fixing a problem at all I don't know what the answer is, but it can't be just training for teachers. We need more professionals like you in our schools. You know we don't need less of them. We need more of them. We need full-time school psychologists. We don't need to be sharing them. We're lucky. Right now we have three school counselors.
Speaker 2:I mean, we have a school ride down the road from us. That's not as big as our school, but I think they have one school counselor and there is. There's not gonna be a cookie cutter way to discipline a child with trauma. There's just not, unfortunately. And I think it goes back to and again, I'm not a teacher, but I think meeting the kid where they're at but also holding them accountable, because you have a classroom full of children's eyes that are watching you and watching that child of what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and they're looking to. They're looking to the adults that they see at school to have to be stable, to be calm to you know, guide them and help them learn and grow, because they're not, there might not be a lot of stability in other places. And I just wanted to think back for a second to when you were talking about that cookie cutter discipline. I think that really just struck a chord with me because I started thinking about what you said earlier in this episode with when the teachers don't know and we're not sure how to handle that trauma. Reach out to the guidance counselor, let us know, let admin know, let the guidance counselor know that, hey, I've seen this change in behavior. I've heard some concerning things from the student and reach out to those resources. I 100% agree with you that we could definitely do with some more support.
Speaker 1:But also for the teachers, if you don't know how to handle that situation, if you're struggling with a student and you are like I do not have the tools in my toolbox to help this student, reach out to the people who do or who can provide them with the resources, to the people who can help them, because there are a lot of the times where the school counselors are not gonna be able to provide the amount of time or the amount of minutes per week that that students maybe should be receiving some type of outside counseling or outside therapy, and so reaching out can get that student to the correct professional they need.
Speaker 1:There is no expectation that teachers should be the end all be all. You are not like responsible for raising that child and making sure they get all of the things. But when you notice those things and you can let a guidance counselor know, then we can get them the help they need. Because when we have students who are getting the resources they need, who are working on improving their mental health, you will see an increase in their ability to be in a classroom and thrive in an environment without causing as much disruption and taking the learning from other students.
Speaker 2:Right, right. And kids are resourceful if they're provided with the resources.
Speaker 1:And some of those parents aren't able to find those resources on their own or willing depends on who the parents are so working with them to try to help them find.
Speaker 1:Oh, the social worker was able to go out to their house and they did a home visit and then they gave the parents the numbers to free counseling and free mental health supports.
Speaker 1:Without us noticing those kids and getting with those parents and trying to work together, they might not know how to do that. They might have grown up in a time, in a day and age, or grown up in a family structure where mental health was not taken seriously and that it was looked upon as oh, we don't do that here, but when we can go and talk with them and educate them about the benefits of mental health, that's when you're gonna really start to see an improvement. Because I think the largest issue we have is this connotation we're trying to move out of, with the stigma on mental health and how it's not that important and how you know like, oh, just rub some dirt on it, it is a thing and it is important. And we do have to try to build this next generation to think about it in a better way so that they can get the help they need, so that our generations that are moving on forward from that can be healthier mentally, which is gonna cause a ripple effect, I believe, of positive outcomes overall.
Speaker 2:Something you had said earlier. I will tell you. Probably about 90% of the parents that I call and offer therapy services to for their children don't even know it exists at our school. Almost every time they're like oh, I didn't even know you had therapists that come to the school, I didn't know you had therapists that go to the home. And so I think educating our teachers but also making sure that the parents know that those resources are there and that they can use them, and how receptive are they to accepting that?
Speaker 2:help. Is it getting better? It's getting better and I think something that I lean on a big big with parents is they're going to be studies done for years and years and years about when COVID hit and kids were learning at home there. I mean, it's gonna be talked about for a while, right? So a lot of our kids just had to learn how to school, how to be at school, how to hold a pencil, how to sit on a desk right, because for about two, three years they did whatever they wanted or they were at home with working parents that could not do, just physically couldn't do it right.
Speaker 2:So when I talked to parents and they're reluctant with therapy, I tell them, like your child has been through things that you will never be able to relate to, because we didn't go through COVID as students, we were parents, and so usually that helps. And I tell the parents, like I'm calling you because you've heard from other people at this school and something is going on. This is how we can help, and so it does take some convincing that's where I pull in my bachelor's in business but it does take some convincing sometimes. But I think when we see results, when kids are in therapy and they're able to even just talk about emotions or know about emotions. It helps. I'm hoping it helps.
Speaker 2:But I do think with kids and parents, you have to explain the why. Why are we in therapy? Why are we getting these referrals? Why is the teacher calling me 25,000 times? Why, why, why, why? Because with kids there's always a why, always, 100%, every single time. I will tell you I will stand. 100% of the time there is an issue with a child, there is always a reason. It's never just because they're a jerk or not listening. There is always a reason, always. And sometimes it takes digging. It takes digging with kids.
Speaker 3:It's digging with kids who don't trust adults, they're not gonna trust you. You can say is everything okay? Yeah, fine, you know they're not.
Speaker 2:And then I will tell you a side success story really quickly, because I think it's important I had. I sent my eighth graders on to high school last year and there was this one student who was constantly getting in trouble. So I was asked to start meeting with him and I did and it got better. This year he's at the high school and the other day he randomly came to the middle school and they said oh, there's someone for you at the front. And I was like what are you doing here? And he's like well, I got in trouble. And last year when I got in trouble I came and talked to you. So I figured I got in trouble in high school, I'd come over here and talk to you about how I should handle it. It's just like but that's what I'm saying is like teachers should not have to do it all, lean on us, but also like be there for your kids because they're going to remember you and they're going to remember what you, they taught you in the classroom and emotionally. And that's why we do it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely 100%, and it's almost that. Yes, they're gonna remember some of the standards that you teach them, but they are never gonna forget the way you made them feel. And anybody who works in a school and we're in the month of October, which is what I call it, because it's when the honeymoon period ends, like we were talking about earlier is remembering that. The way you make those kids feel, the difference you make in their lives, the moments you are able to make the time to listen to them, they are never going to forget and you will make a lasting impact and it does make a difference. And I know some days are not easy. Please find time for yourselves to take care of yourselves and grab those shovels and keep on digging so that we can get to those kids and make the world a better place.
Speaker 1:Brittany Dean, we cannot thank you enough for joining us today. I feel like I wanna have a guest speaker every week now, or I feel like Brittany should come on every time, like I'm really digging this guest vibe, like guest vibe is where it's at. And I wanna thank all of our listeners for joining us today. We are so grateful that you join us and you listen to our banter and we're hoping you're gaining something from it. If you have any ideas, don't be shy to slide into our DMs or let us know what some of your ideas are. Or if you're interested in becoming a guest on our podcast, please reach out. You could become infamous just by joining our podcast because mom, dad and our sisters are listening, so we've got four full listeners. I'm gonna give it over to Jen so that she can tell us what is up and coming.
Speaker 3:Again, thank you so much, brittany, for coming on the show. I think that this was like Tori said having a guest is pretty awesome. If you haven't listened to our discipline show from last week, please do that, and then next time we're gonna talk more about restorative practices and alternative approaches to discipline, so we hope you can join us then. Please check out our Facebook Middle School Life. We are now on Instagram and thank you for listening.
