The Femme Cast

Letting Go of Rage | Why “Just Let It Go” Keeps You Stuck—and How to Finally Reclaim Your Power

• Maria Rei

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Stop forcing a smile over a clenched jaw. In this episode of The Femme Cast, we shatter the myths that keep so many of us trapped in cycles of anger, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. The well-meaning “just let it go” advice? It often leads to emotional bypassing, burnout, and boomerangs you right back into the pain you were trying to escape.

We dive deep into the emotional lifecycle of anger, rage, and resentment—showing you how these feelings are actually data guiding you to boundaries, alignment, and personal power. You’ll discover why suppression, projection, and self-judgment—not the emotion itself—are what drain your energy, cloud your choices, and keep you stuck.

Through my signature three-question framework—Why is this here? What is this showing me? How can I apply this today?—and embodied practices like hip-focused movement, rage-on-the-page journaling, and safe, private screaming, you’ll learn how to fully process your emotions without harming yourself or others.

We challenge the common belief that anger is “low-vibe” and reframe it as a teacher.

You’ll learn:

🎤 Why “letting go” often means bypassing, stuffing, or pretending the anger isn’t real
🎤 How emotions naturally cycle back to neutral when acknowledged
🎤 The step-by-step process to move rage instead of being trapped by it
🎤 Tools to distinguish activated vs passive emotional states
🎤 How to reclaim clarity, boundaries, and aligned action from neutral, not ego or blame
🎤 Why conscious expression turns heat into insight—and insight into powerful, aligned change

If you’ve ever been shamed for your feelings, felt stuck in the ego’s blame loop, or worried that anger will “attract bad things,” this conversation offers language, structure, and permission to meet your emotions as the teachers they are.

You are not broken. Your rage is a portal.

Step into this episode ready to alchemize old wounds into clarity, grounded power, and alignment. Reclaim your nervous system, your choices, and your life—starting here, starting now.

Ready to stop shrinking for others? Let this episode be your sign → Step into your Unapologetic Era: https://thefemmecast.com/breakthrough

SPEAKER_00:

Hey guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. Welcome if you guys are new. I'm so excited and grateful to have you guys here. We are diving into the conversation on anger, rage, and resentment again today. We're gonna go a little bit deeper. We're gonna talk about where I think the personal development community or spiritual community went wrong and you know what we need to be doing to make it right and and what are some of the steps that we can take to make it right. Um, because we we did F it up, right? Um, and I want to start by saying, you know, there's always this conversation of this or this theme or theory of letting go, right? Letting go of the sadness, letting go of the anger, letting go of the grief, letting go of the um the unforgiveness. Like let it like there's always this language of letting go, but I don't think it's really clear what letting go actually means. Like we're always told to let go, but what does that actually mean?

unknown:

Right?

SPEAKER_00:

What does it mean to let go of an emotion? Because I do bel I I don't believe we need to let anything go, to be quite honest. I think we need to let emotions out. I think we need to move through them. I think we need to allow them to run their course. The language of letting go is a little bit misleading because I think when we hear the word letting go, or at least when I, you know what, correct me if I'm wrong. But when I used to hear the word letting go, I used to think of it as, okay, I just need to like let that go out of sight, out of mind. Think of something positive. Say an affirmation, um, set an intention. How do I want to feel? Let me tap into that. Dude, that was all wrong. Like, I can't tell you how wrong that was. That was another way of denying, of avoiding, of suppressing, of bypassing that I, you know, it was basically, you know, for somebody who oppressed her emotions or sorry, suppressed her emotions her entire life, it was just another form of suppression with a personal development label slapped on it, you know. It was spiritual bypassing, emotional bypassing at its best. Right? Because now, you know, we're always uh, you know, if you if you if you have a uh negative belief, choose a different belief, or if you have a negative thought, choose a different thought, or you know, if you have a negative feeling, you can you can choose another feeling, you can call you can you can choose, and it's true, we can. We can choose to feel what we want, but sometimes when when emotions are alive and they're moving through us, we have to allow them to move before we can choose that new feeling. We can choose joy, but we have to move through sadness. We can choose love, but we might have to move through anger or hate. We can choose um whatever. We can choose peace, but we might have to move through grief, right? So we have to move through the emotions that are there, then we get to choose, right? Because when we move through an emotion and we allow it to be there and we allow it to be present and take up space and live its lifespan. Every emotion has a lifespan, right? It has a cycle. If we allow it to move through its lifespan or its cycle, it naturally dissipates itself. It brings us back to neutral, then we can choose a new emotion. That's when we can choose. When we're constantly fighting against ourselves, so if we're in like, and I believe we talked about this last team last week when we talked about mucking up your energy field, right? Your egg, your energy, your energetic signature. If we're, let's say, for example, if I'm in, if I'm in anger, I'm in anger, I'm in resentment, I'm in rage, I don't want to feel it, I want to choose joy. So I'm gonna choose joy, I'm gonna choose to feel joy. I'm gonna say affirmations, I'm gonna do things that make me feel joy. I'm gonna um watch a comedy, I'm going to eat my favorite food, I'm going to go hang out with my friends, I'm going to just keep saying to myself, I have the ability to cultivate joy. I choose joy for myself. And the minute I, and it may work, it may, but the minute I relax, guess what's going to happen? I'm going to dip right back down to rage and anger and resentment. The minute I put my guard down. And so this is another way we kind of burn our own energy out by constantly, and like I said, you know, I think it was one of the first ones that I said when we talked about um the four reasons. You want to, you know, make sure you're feeling all your um moving through your, your, your rage, your your resentment, and your anger in healthy ways, is, you know, it does drain your energy. And this is why, because it takes so much work to suppress it, to hold it down, to choose something different, to choose a different emotion, only to have to keep like slingshotting back to that rage that you've been avoiding, that that anger that you've been avoiding, that resentment that you've been avoiding, or whatever it is that you're feeling that you've been avoiding. Moving through it, allowing it to be there, allowing it to be present, allowing it to run its course, to complete its cycle, its lifespan, to to to to to breathe, to expand, to grow, and then to dissolve on its own. And all the while extracting maybe some lessons or reasons or messages or why it's there and what it's trying to tell you. That's when we become powerful. That's when we tap into our wisdom, our magnetism. That's when we conserve our energy because we're not resisting, we're not in resistance all the time. We're we're in surrender to it. And then once that's moved and it's passed, it's served its purpose, then we can choose a different emotion. And that's kind of what I wanted to talk about today, right? Um, personal development community, spiritual community. Um, we're taught constantly taught to let it go. Let it go for many of us, you know, whether we call it, whether it looks like choosing a different thought, whether it looks like saying an affirmation, whether it looks like focusing on love or peace as opposed to whatever it is that's coming up, whether it's anger, rage, or resentment, we're still bypassing it because we're not allowing it to move through the body, number one, and we're not, we're not extracting the wisdom as to why it's present. So we're bypassing. And that's what the spiritual community has taught us to do, and the personal development community has taught us to do. They've also taught us that emotions such as rage, anger, resentment are low vibrational. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Nothing. The only thing low vibrational, again, I've been repeating this through this entire series. The only thing low vibrational about anger, rage, and resentment is when we suppress it, what we make it mean about ourselves, and when we project it onto other people around us. That's what's low vibrational. When we can be present with it and allow it to move and dissipate on its own, which it will eventually, um, there is nothing low vibrational about that. And extracting the lessons and the messages that it has for us, the advice, the tips, the the guidance to bring us to our highest potential, when we can extract that and apply it into our life today, then we've just made it a very high vibrational experience because it has been, it has brought us into alignment with our greater truth, our truth, our impact, our potential, our influence, everything we came to be, came here to be, do, and and become. And so what could possibly be low vibrational about that? And do I think, you know, do I think we've been purposely, purposefully kept from our power? Yeah, I do. Not from the present personal development community. I think everybody's doing what they everything they think is the right thing and and everything they they they know how to do in terms of keeping us um on our evolution, like uh moving along on our evolution. But I think that this is a superpower that's been kept from us for a very long time. We have been shamed for our emotional experience since the beginning of time. We have been shamed for our emotions since Adam and Eve, since Pandora's box, since you name it, we have been shamed for it. And if there's one thing that this life has taught me, is the very thing that people will shame and guilt you and put you down for and criticize you for, is the very thing that threatens them the most. So, how do we take our power back? By learning to move through in our emotional experience in a very healthy and empowering way, in a way that actually serves our greatest potential influence and impact in this life, so that we can do what exactly what it is that we came here to do. And that's what we're going to talk about today. Um, so the bypassing that we've learned to do, or the bypassing of yesterday, keeps it stuck, mucks up our energetic field, creates disease in the body, otherwise known as disdisease, right? So if we don't pay attention to what's going on to our emotional body, it'll find a way to manifest itself physically and energetically so that we can pay attention energetically by manifesting shit that we don't want, and physically by actually creating disease in the body. Okay. Um, and so the way that we let go, the way everybody keeps telling us to just let it go, just let it go. You have to just let it go, is to let it out. You have to find healthy ways to let out your anger, your rage, your frustration, your resentment in ways that it helps it move through your body. It helps you connect with it so that you can extract the information, the guidance, the wisdom that it has for you. And in a way that it it it uh um what's it called? It keeps you from projecting it onto other people. That's what you need to be doing, okay? That should be your focus. And so um here, so there's there's a couple of there's a couple of mindset hacks that I want to share with you that will help you do this, and there's a couple of techniques that will help you to do this, okay? Um, so for a mindset, you know, I want you to remember three things. You feeling anger, rage, and resentment means absolutely nothing about who you are as a person. It doesn't determine how good you are as a person, doesn't determine how lovable you are as a person, it doesn't determine how worthy you are as a person. It doesn't mean it doesn't mean absolutely anything about you other than you are a spiritual being having a human experience, and part of that human experience is to experience a full ray of emotion. Okay. Um, being enraged does not mean that you've done something wrong. Doesn't actually even mean that someone else has done something wrong. It just means I mean, essentially, it means that you've not done anything wrong. I mean, the only wrong thing that you've probably done is ignored your anger for too long. That's probably the only thing you've done wrong. But the anger, let's talk about that at the source, right? The anger doesn't necessarily mean that you or the other person have done something wrong. It might, you know, maybe the other person did something not cool and you get to experience that anger. But what it really means more beyond that is where you need to speak your truth, where you need to set a boundary, where you need to make some changes in terms of how you show up in this life and in the world around you and in your relationships. That's what its true purpose is, right? The projection, the blame, the person's fault, or your fault, or the other person's fault, or whoever's fault, that's just surface-level egoic understanding of what you're upset about. You gotta go deeper. You gotta go deeper into where is this, what is this trying to guide me towards? How is this trying to teach me? How is this trying to help me evolve? And I'll give you some questions to do that and journal on. But and the third thing is being enraged does not mean you will manifest bad shit. Like people are afraid to feel bad. People are afraid to be angry. I I've said I've been here, I've seen other people be here where you're afraid to get angry or be in resentment or be in rage because you're afraid you're gonna manifest bad shit. You don't manifest bad shit by feeling emotions. You manifest bad shit when you suppress it and you ignore it, and then then you start manifesting stuff so that you can see it. You manifest bad shit when you project it, and you manifest bad shit when you make it mean something bad about yourself. That's when you manifest bad shit. You don't manifest bad shit by being angry and allowing the anger to be there and allowing it to move through you and express itself in a healthy way, extracting the wisdom and applying it to your life. There's nothing, there's nothing negative to manifest, but that's actually high vibrational. Now you've actually evolved past your emotion. You're not actually letting your emotions run like take you for a ride. You're actually like taking your emotions for a ride now. Because you're able to hold your power, you're able to hold your strength, you're able to hold your energy as you move through it and choose to move through it in an empowered state where it doesn't like start to run the show for you and be present with it and hold it and be a container for it and allow it to be there and allow it to move through its life cycle so that it can bring you the healing, the wisdom, the transformation, the transmutation that it came here to bring. That's all.

unknown:

Right?

SPEAKER_00:

So when you look at it from that perspective, there's nothing low vibrational about moving through anger. The low vibration comes in suppressing the anger or projecting it or making it mean something bad about you. That's when it becomes low vibrational. Otherwise, it's just an emotion you're feeling along your ascension path. That is it. That is all it means. That's it. Okay. Um now releasing rage without it exploding, right? This is this is a very simple process. Okay, I do this all the time. Anytime an emotion and an anger comes up, anytime resentment comes up, anytime rage comes up. I take a moment to myself, if I can't take it right in that moment, if I'm in the middle of something, I will almost take a like, I literally like, I'll be like, okay, I'm just gonna take a snapshot of this moment and what I'm feeling. And I just recognize it and I feel it and I acknowledge it and I acknowledge where I'm feeling it, and I will say, I will come back to this. I will come back to this later. And when I go home or the next morning, when I'm doing my practice, I will come back. And I will try and tap back into that emotion that was coming up, right? Whether it was anger, rage, resentment, or something else. Could be anything. Um, but typically I find um anger, rage, and resentment is where we get the most information, right? When it comes in terms of how we're meant to change and move and and and and and wisdom that we're apply to applying to life that that'll keep us um in our impact, influence, and purpose. Anger, rage, and resentment is often the most powerful. Okay, they're all powerful, but you know, there's something about rage in this season. You know, there's just something about rage in this season. But anyway, um, you know, when you feel it, if you can pause and ask these questions again, or if not, just take a conscious note of it and and make a commitment to yourself that you'll come back to it later when you have some time. Um, sometimes I would even, when I was working at my corporate job, I would even go to the bathroom and do this. I'm like move on into the bathroom, moving through my rage and having a conversation with it in my head. But basically, what you're gonna do is you're gonna tap into that rage, you're gonna feel it fully, you're gonna actually let it expand in your energy. You're gonna let it expand, you're gonna really connect with it, let it intensify, let it be there, breathe through it, move through the experience. And then when you're ready, you're gonna ask it three questions. You are gonna ask it, why are you here? What is it that you want, what is what is the wisdom that you're trying to show me today or share with me today or teach me today? And how can I apply it to my life today? Right? Because the the wisdom might have been created years ago when you first experienced the anger, the anger turns into resentment, the resentment turns into rage. Um, but if it's still coming up, there's a way it's coming up because it still is asking to be applied to your life today. Otherwise, it wouldn't be getting triggered right now. Do you did like do are you like do you get that? Like, can't are you picking up what I'm putting down? If if you're not if it's coming up right now or yesterday came up yesterday, or if it comes up next week, it's because there's something in there for you, regardless of how old it is, that is meant to be being applied to your life today, to a relationship, to a work situation, to a home situation, to a health situation, whatever. There's something in it that is asking to be applied to your life today. Otherwise, it would not be popping up. So let that sink in, please. Now, um, so um, why are you here? What is it that you've been trying to show me? And how can I apply you to my life today? Those are the three questions you always want to ask yourself. Um, once you've moved through the intensity, I would kind of wait until you're until it starts dissipating and then have the conversation. And then just keep feeling it. Don't do anything until you kind of breathe your way back to neutral. Breathe your way back to neutral. And that's when you start to take, you check in. Does this still does this do these journal prompts or do these, does this advice that my rage had for me or my resentment had for me or my anger had for me, does it still resonate? If yes, take action. If not, maybe you might want to tweak it a little bit, then take action. Always look at it from those neutral, from the lens of your neutral state. You know, you always wanna, you always want a quality control. You always want to QC control things from the lens of your neutral state before you go and take action on them. Because it's sometimes hard to tell if the ego's coming in and playing and doing its thing, right? Because remember, the ego will come in first and say, I'm mad at this person. They mistreated me, they underpaid me, they made me work too hard, and I didn't get the fucking promotion. They gave the promotion to so and so. That person's emotionally unavailable, they've been dicking me around for months, you know, whatever the story is, go deeper. Go deeper than that. Maybe the story, maybe what it's trying to tell you is stop pouring your energy into a role or a life pat that isn't for you. Or stop trying to jump your hoops through your worth and trust that that you are worthy as you are, and trust that the in the in the right role in the right in the in the right path, your gifts will be seen by the people around you. You don't have to force it. You don't have to be a monkey, a performance monkey to try and earn your way to that income or that promotion or that goal that you want. You don't have to settle for breadcrumbs in a relationship when there's, you know, somebody out there for you who will love you exactly for exactly who you are and won't play games with you and won't string you along. Right. So whatever, oops, I just hit my mic. Whatever the advice is that it has for you, apply it to your life today. Okay. Move through the ego, move through its projections, its blame, its victim stories. Come go deeper, tap into the higher wisdom of what your anger, your rage, your resentment is trying to tell you, apply it to your life today, right? Go through those three prompts. Um, and then if you're still struggling to move through the rage, there are other techniques that you can, you know, that you can kind of turn to. And it really depends if you're in a sympathetic state or a parasympathetic state. Like, you know, are you in avoidance? Are you feeling lethargic? Are you tired? Are you in a rest state? Or are you feeling activated and aggressive and, you know, um energized by it, right? If you're feeling activated and energized, a good workout, like a great hit workout, something to get you sweating and moving, um, even like a really brisk walk, dancing, anything that moves the hips, great at releasing anger and rage, because a lot of anger and rage is actually stored in the hips. Um, so things like that would help. If you're in a more, if you're in a rest state, if you're kind of disconnected, lethargic, or passive, um, you know, then maybe you want a journal, right? I love to journal out my rage. I love to just rate, like this is a technique that Gabby Bernstein Bernstein always talks about is rage on the page. Just let it out on a piece of paper, unfiltered, completely authentic, raw. Just say what it is you're feeling and don't lift the pen from the page until you've said everything that you needed to say, and then you can burn it or toss it, whatever you want. Um, you can also um do this process of you know, questioning the rage and talking to the rage. You can go deeper, you can ask it more questions. Once you start to cultivate a conversation with your emotions, it starts to flow a lot easier, right? Um, and you can get more information, you can have um, you can ask more questions, you can go deeper into the meaning of things, right? But these are all tools and techniques that you can, you know, you can totally call upon. Um, another one is to scream it out, right? So we talked about moving it out through stretching, through maybe a hit workout, kickboxing, somatic stretches are great. We talked about speaking it out, you can rage on a page, you can um have that conversation with your with your emotions, whether it's rage, anger, and resentment. Then you can scream it out. Scream into a pillow if you have to. Scream in your car in the middle of nowhere or on a highway where nobody can freaking hear you. Same as I did in that cabin that I talked about in the first episode, right? Just scream it right out of you until you feel like there's like you're back to neutral. And that will help you move through some of that rage so it doesn't take not that you want to rush it, but also you don't wanna, you don't wanna, you know, just kind of set up shop in it either, right? You want to help it move when you're when you're birthing, you help the baby down the birth canal. You don't just kind of sit there and wait for it to pop out. You know what I mean? You're pushing it out of the birth canal. So this is us pushing the rage out of the birth canal. It's the exact same thing. Um, so scream it out, scream into a pillow, scream in your car, scream somewhere where nobody can hear you except you. Um, because otherwise, if anyone can hear you, you'll just be filtered and you're not really gonna be screaming as loud as you can. Um it's amazing how much you're screaming into a pillow if you live in, especially I gotta live in an apartment. I've always lived in apartments, so I can't just scream at the top of my lungs. My neighbors will hear me and they'll probably call the police because they'll think something's happening to me. So honestly, like screaming to a pillow, it works. Um, even punching a pillow works too. Um, that's a technique I got from um my somatic um somatic therapy stretching techniques that I that I picked up. Oh my gosh, life-changing, so life-changing. Um, so yeah, so try those techniques, you know, when you're feeling the anger, when you're feeling the rage, when you're feeling the resentment, to help it to move, to really contact, connect with it, intensify it, and just get it to move through its life cycle. And as soon as you feel yourself starting to come down from whatever it is that you're experiencing, then start to have the conversation. Why are you here? What are you trying to tell me? And how can I apply that to my life today? And if you need to ask more questions, you can ask, feel free to ask the deeper questions. Just make sure you move through the egoic projections first before you start going into the questioning. Because if you do the questioning while you're in the egoic um expression, sorry, not projection, the egoic expression of your anger, your rage, or your resentment, all you're gonna get is a lot of blame and victim statements. They did this, they did that, this person did this, this person did that, blah blah blah. That's not what you want. You want to go deeper than that. Okay, so make sure to go deeper. So practice the the tools and techniques until you can get into that deeper state to have you're not at neutral, but you're coming down from the intensity. Once you start to come down from the intensity, that's when you know it's time to have the conversation and you can keep having the conversation until you get to neutral, then take action. That is literally how I do this on repeat, and how I apply like how I use my rage to my advantage to literally tap into like every ounce of my purpose, impact, influence, and potential and magnetism and everything I came here to do, be and create. It has been my guiding light. It is not something that I avoid, it is something that I'm as uncomfortable as it might be. I'm actually like excited when it comes up because I know it's literally an invitation for me to show up differently, to play a bigger game, to to to stand up for myself, for for what I'm here to be, do, and create in this world. And so for me now, nothing and I repeat, nothing is more exciting than that. So let me know if this resonates. Um, let me know what you take away from this. You can leave a comment where below wherever you're seeing this. Um, or you can email me at Maria at the femcoach.com. You can um DM me on Instagram at thefemcast. I always love to hear from you guys. So let me know what resonated, what didn't, and what you're planning to take away with you. Till next time, you guys, massive love.

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Maria

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