Fear of Speaking Your Truth | Visibility Glow Up Series Part 4

Your content can be honest and still feel wrong coming out of your mouth. That tension? That’s where transformation begins. In this episode of The Femme Cast, we dig into one of the deepest visibility blocks holding ambitious, soul-led women back: the fear of speaking your unfiltered truth. The version that might spark pushback, ruffle feathers, or even get you canceled.

We unpack how this fear quietly shows up: biting your tongue at the table, hiding behind “neutral” takes on social media, compartmentalizing yourself across platforms, or communicating covertly so nobody can call you out. It’s exhausting. It fractures trust, drains energy, and slowly teaches your nervous system that being seen is unsafe.

I share my own journey. The tension between honoring my heart versus following the “approved” narrative in coaching, personal development, and spiritual communities, and why reclaiming your voice is both radical and necessary. You’ll hear how speaking your truth can feel like swimming through quicksand, yet also how it frees you to step fully into your power, make an impact, and create aligned income without compromise.

In this episode, you’ll discover how to:

🎤 Name the visibility block that keeps your voice hidden

🎤 Reframe misalignment versus growth-edge triggers

🎤 Track self-silencing habits and reclaim your authority

🎤 Practice grounded truth-telling in family, social, and online spaces

🎤 Shift from a “how-to” persona to a living example of unapologetic visibility

If you’ve been shrinking, hiding your power, or craving recognition, this conversation is your wake-up call. Let this episode be your invitation to speak what’s been tapping on your shoulder, to step into emotional alchemy, and to embrace the unapologetic, fully seen woman you’re meant to be.

Transcript

When Your Content Stops Feeling True

Fear Of Cancellation In Coaching Spaces

How Self Silencing Shows Up

Misalignment Versus Pushing Through

Choosing To Lead By Example

The Real Cost Of Truth

Your Message Might Change Someone

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Hey you guys, what is up and welcome back to the show. I'm so excited and grateful to have you guys here. Welcome if you're new. We are continuing with Visibility Glow Up Month here at the Femcast, both on the podcast and on Instagram. So make sure you're following me there. And as part of Visibility Glow Up Month, we're sharing the five core visibility blocks that I see again and again, both in myself and in my clients. And obviously helping you to kind of move through them. Now, this whole series has been very interesting for me because it has really shown me where some of these visibility blocks are still very active and alive and well in me in ways that I wasn't really seeing until now. And now that I've seen them, I cannot unsee them. And it has made getting through this series extremely difficult. And I mentioned last week, and I'll say it again, that's why you've seen the posts sort of die down this week. That's why you haven't seen me as active online. That's why the last couple of episodes have been late. And it's not because what I'm sharing here isn't honest, isn't truthful, isn't something I believe in. It's just not what I want to be sharing right now. And I've again, like I think I said this last week, I've been, you know, a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, and I just can't do it anymore. And my I'm literally energetically putting my heels in the ground and saying no more. So please recognize that as I'm sharing this, and this is I'm being fully vulnerable and transparent right now. As I'm sharing this, I am feeling wildly misaligned in sharing this. And that's really hard to say, but it's the truth. I'm feeling really misaligned in saying this right now because I feel like I've been forcing myself to have conversations not that aren't true, but that I don't want to be having because my heart has already moved on to different conversations. There's different things that I want to be talking about. There's different things on my heart and on my soul that I want to be sharing. And the fact that I've not been sharing those and honoring those is starting to take a toll on me because I feel like I'm betraying myself. And so that's why it's been really hard for me getting through this content, is because I've now started to see that. I've started I've started to realize it and I can't unsee it. And but at the same time, you know, I made this commitment to share this with you guys, and I don't want to turn my back on that promise. And it still fits. It's not that it doesn't fit, it still fits. There's still and the best way that I can put this is you know, yes, I'm still a visibility coach, I'm still a visibility healer, a hundred percent. And and I'm here to help, you know, help you tap into your own inner authority, your own truth, so that you can share that and be seen unapologetically in the world and make an impact with it. Like I believe that a thousand and a thousand percent. I believe that. But I believe that what I'm meant to be sharing here, especially on the podcast, is different. I believe that I want to share about the things that I I want to, instead of teaching you about how to be visible, I want to be an example of it. I want to be an example of visibility. I want to be an example about what it means to be a woman who's unapologetic about what she has to say in the world. I don't want to do how-tos and I just don't want to do it. Like I just want to actually be out there talking about the things that mean something to me that are important to me, the conversations that are important to me, the things that are inspiring me, the things that are aggravating me to no end that I want to see change in the world. That's what I want to be talking about. I don't want to be talking about, you know, having how-to videos or episodes or any of that. Okay. And I'm trying to figure out what this all looks like on the other side. So, but please know that after this this series is done, the Femcast, the content on the Kent Femcast is going to be wildly different than it is right now. Still figuring out what that looks like. But I thought, you know, how do I make this work for these last, you know, couple of episodes, right? And today is all about the fear of speaking your truth. And this ties in really well to where I'm at right now. Because, and again, I've said this before, you know, you can have one of these blocks, you can have a couple of them, you can have a hybrid version, right? What you're seeing play out, and what I've always known is is is true for me, is I have a hybrid. I have a hybrid of the fear of scarcity, the fear of being judged and rejected, and the fear of speaking my truth. These coexist within me and they coexist simultaneously. And each one of them plays a part in where I've been blocked with my visibility. So when it comes to the fear of speaking my truth, you know, I am afraid to say the unpleasing thing. I'm afraid to say the thing that's gonna piss people off. I'm afraid to say the thing that's gonna get me canceled that's going to, you know, just stir up. I mean, I can't say that. I mean, I've gotten, I will say this, I've gotten some comments on my feed in the last little while, last several months, last year actually, that, you know, didn't affect me. And I'm like, okay, this is great. I'm glad. Like, I feel like I'm more empowered than I've ever been. I don't get turned off by the hey comments. I'm like, okay, this is good. And I even had a conversation yesterday with somebody whose viewpoints I don't agree with. And I was able to, you know, basically speak my truth and state it without, you know, getting overreactive and just be really factual and open to where I might be, you know, wrong. And that went really well. I'm like, okay, so obviously I'm doing something right. So what is it? What is it that is keeping me from really being honest about who I am and what I want to share in the world? And I realize that there's this whole other belief system, group, pop, whatever, that I'm afraid I will get canceled from, deleted, judge. And that is actually the spiritual community and the personal development space because the things that I want to be talking about are always the thing that gets you canceled in personal development, spiritual spaces. Because, and you know, more to come on this. I have a few things to say about the personal development space and spiritual community. I have a lot of things to say actually about them. And I think that I've been trying to fit this narrative of what I should be talking about and what is appropriate as a spiritual healer and as a coach. What should I be talking about? Where should I be putting my focus and attention versus what I actually want to be talking about? And, you know, this is where compartmentalizing yourself, and I mentioned this last week, comes into play where, you know, I was one person on my LinkedIn, and then I was another person on my podcast, and then I was another person on my Instagram, and then I was another person with my friends and family. And it's like this whole month has been about how do I not compartmentalize myself and really just show up as the same person in all these different spaces? And how can being a spiritual healer and coach, being a strategic leader, right, in in my career, right? And you know, just being a human being and one who likes to call out what she doesn't agree with in the world, how can all of those be true simultaneously? Because, you know, the fear of speaking your truth, it'll show up in a number of different ways, right? When you're somebody who's afraid of speaking your truth, you will often bite your tongue. Like you'll feel what you want to say, but you won't say it. You'll bite your tongue, you'll shrink, you'll get very quiet, you'll kind of recluse, right? That's why it goes to social media that one time for two and a half years when things got really intense. You'll recluse, you'll you'll you'll go quiet, right? You'll you'll you'll kind of you'll you'll you'll let yourself sort of disappear. And that's because it's not just that, and there's different patterns that we'll go through. And I I'm literally speaking from my own experience right now. I'm not even tapping into what I've seen in my clients. This is this is literally just me, how I've coped with it. You know, there, you know, I silenced because I was afraid to say the wrong thing. I silenced because, you know, I thought that if I tried to talk my way out of it, I wouldn't be able to hold that truth. Like it would come out whether I liked it or not. So better not to say anything at all. Or sometimes I would try and say something, but I would try and say it in such a covert way that nobody actually knew what I was trying to say, right? Because you're trying to do it in this covert, indirect way that nobody's really hearing what you're saying. So you try to say something, you try to say it covertly, or maybe you start to you start to say it a little bit and covertly, and people start to get pissed off, and then you like recluse, you like shrink back, you like hide, you like, you know, you're you bite your tongue and pretend to, maybe you don't pretend to agree with what everybody else is saying, but you kind of hope that you know nobody sees that you're biting your tongue and not wanting to speak because you're terrified of getting called out and saying the thing that you're actually thinking to say or feeling to say because you know it's gonna get you either into a confrontation, someone's gonna get angry at you, someone's gonna be upset with you, people are gonna gang up on you, you're gonna be the only one to have that opinion, and no one else in the world is gonna have that opinion. Now everybody, the whole world is gonna be against you, or the whole room is gonna be against you. And I do see this a lot in my clients, especially right now, especially when their views don't agree with their family's views. Like, my God, I had a client who was stressing out over, like, you know, the fact that Easter's coming up and you know, she knows she's gonna be with her family for the Easter weekend, and conversations are gonna come up and they have different viewpoints. It's just like, how the fuck am I gonna handle this? Like, you know, and this is very real, and we go through this and we experience this, and and the fear can be very visceral. I know that I would I had a conversation with somebody this weekend that normally, like, you know, we have very different views, social and political and religious views. And oftentimes, you know, we will disagree. And I usually, you know, when he starts, I'll usually just bite my tongue and and kind of look down and hopefully like I just hope that he'll continue to have the conversation with everybody else at the table and not me. Right. But yesterday I leaned into it. I was like, actually, no, here's what I think. My and I'm like, you know, this is this, the here's the facts that I see them, or here's what I've experienced firsthand, or here's what I've witnessed, right? And just keeping it as an open dialogue, and it actually went amazing. Yeah, we still have different viewpoints, and that's fine, whatever, you know, like, but I know what my viewpoint is, and I stand strongly behind it, and I don't want to hide it anymore. And I think that's what's coming out more and more. And I think that's where sharing this content with you guys has become so difficult for me in the final weeks of this series, is because it's not because it's not true, it's just not where my heart is right now. My heart isn't sharing other things. You can you can probably see it and feel it and how I'm like talking about this episode because I keep leaning into this episode and wanting to talk to you about the visibility block of the fear of speaking your truth. And I keep trailing off into these other conversations that, yeah, are adjacent, but really are not, they're not in the notes of what I wanted to talk about today. Not at all. Like at all. So that's where the fear of speaking your truth can keep you hidden, can keep you blocked because it's gonna it's gonna either a swallow the thing that make you swallow the thing that you want to say so nobody can see or hear you. You're gonna cower, you're gonna shrink, you're gonna hope that nobody in the room is looking at you when everybody like brings up a conversation that you know is gonna be, you're gonna have a different opinion on, and everybody else is sharing. Like, think of think of being in a room where everybody else has the same opinion except you. Can you think back to a moment when that happened? Because I I can see it plain as day in my head, where everybody in the room had a different opinion than I did. And they were all, yeah, and this and that, and and and I'm like, oh, like, oh, I don't want to say anything right now. And they're looking at you and they're like, why aren't you agreeing with us? Why are you sitting so quiet? Like, I just wanted the room not to notice how quietly I was sitting in the corner eating my turkey. So that I wouldn't have to say anything. Right? Like it's like, please, oh please, please don't see me. Please don't see that I'm sitting here right now, sitting here very uncomfortably. Please don't see that I'm biting my tongue. Oh my god, don't ask me what I think. Please don't ask me what I think because I can't. And then it's like, oh, and then somebody asks you, and you're like, uh, well, and then that's when the covert, like Switzerland, I don't think anything, or I'm neutral, or I'm in the middle, or I don't, whatever, like whatever excuse you make up to kind of skirt around the issue that you have a wildly different opinion, but you're afraid to be the only one in the room to have that opinion, or to be, like I said, called out, canceled, or whatever. So I healed so much of that in myself. But realizing that when it came to this podcast, I was still talking about the things that the spiritual community, the personal development space said were okay. I wasn't talking about the things that were really on my heart to share. So this has become about how can I let myself be a healer, a coach, a leader, a mentor, and still have an opinion about what I see happening in the world and how I would like to see it be different. And how do I make all of that one person, like one cohesive person and brand instead of like compartmentalizing myself? So, you know, the uh again, I and I apologize because I actually recorded this episode once before, but my mic wasn't working, so I had to re-record it again. And so now as I'm talking, I can't remember, like I remember having said certain things, but I can't remember if it's in the version that's in my trash folder or if it's in the version that I'm gonna be publishing. I don't know. So I'm getting very confused as I'm recording this. Probably should have waited a couple of hours before I jumped back on the mic just so I had a clear boundary on what I recorded before versus what I'm recording now. But all that to say, you know, the fear of speaking your truth will block your visibility just like that. It will keep you from speaking the uncomfortable truth, the unpleasing truth that you know is in your heart and in your soul to share with the world. And if you're not, and if you're not sharing that thing, right, or whitewashing it or you know making it palatable or or or finding covert ways of saying the thing that you want to say and not actually saying it, or just kind of shrinking in the corner and hopefully nobody calls on you to share your opinion. Yeah, you better believe that impacts your visibility, right? And I do believe that whenever we have one of those messages on our heart and soul to share with the world that will not rest, that will not let us go, that in every room we walk into, in every conversation, you're like, there's a part of you that's like, say something, say something about this. I went in and say, why aren't you saying it? Why aren't you saying the thing? And I do believe that every time we don't say it, there's a part of us that feels betrayed and let down. And that almost starts to go quiet within ourselves on an energetic level. And so then it really becomes hard being visible, right? But eventually what ends up happening is the truth catches up with you. Truth catches up with you, and now you can't say anything but the thing, because anything else feels like you're literally swimming through quicksand, which is exactly how I felt this this month and this week. And that's why the posts have gone quiet, and that's why, you know, it took me a while to get these last few episodes out because it literally started to feel like feel like I was swimming through quicksand because there was a part of me that was energetically digging her heels in saying, I don't want to talk about this no more. I want to talk about the things that matter. So again, I don't know what this looks like on the other side. I may have said this, but I'm not sure if it was in the previous one that I recorded that ended up in the trash folder, or I said it earlier in this episode. I think the direction that I want to go in with the Femcast because visibility is still what I focus on, right? In my coaching and healing. And it's actually been a couple of my meditations that I think that really helped me in the last couple weeks. So I may be publishing those soon as well. Some of my visibility meditations that have really helped me to move through these last few weeks. And so, sorry guys, I'm getting a bit of a it's like choking on my own spin here. And I've lost my train of thought. Oh, I hate when that happens. Okay, I did this in the last version too. So I think where I'm going with this is, you know, visibility and and and and you know, being seen and being heard and making an impact in the world and and still is still a thing, is still very important to me. And it's very important that I help women do that because I do believe that women are going to bring about so much change and transformation into the world, and that your gifts, your insights, your stories, your messages are so needed in order to create the change and transformation that this world needs. And I I stand behind that wholeheartedly. I think what's going to change going forward is instead of talking about, you know, the traditional things that we talk about on when it comes to content, right? As coaches and as healers, you know, we talk about the pain points, we talk about the desired outcomes, we talk about all these things. And I would rather, rather than, you know, be like a weekly infomercial, I would rather just be the living, breathing example of what it looks like to just trust the message that is on your heart to share and be visible as fuck with that and be an unapologetic as fuck with that and share it with the world and trust that everything is gonna work out. That's where I want to go. So if that means talking about feminism feminism one week, then I will talk about feminism. If that means talking about politics one week, I will talk about politics. If that means talking about relationships and sex, so be it. Religion, whatever, whatever it is in the moment, or even if it's just something silly that I saw online that I thought, hey, this is worth having a conversation about. I want to be, I want to have the freedom to do that. This is what this podcast was intentionally meant, like initially meant for. And, you know, I think I strayed from that because everyone and their mother told me this is how you're supposed to create content as a healer and a coach. And I don't want to do that anymore. It doesn't feel good. It kills all my inspiration and it keeps me from saying the things that I know that I meant to say in the world. I forgot that I have an opinion. I forgot that I that I actually, you know, have ideas that are meant to be shared in the world. And they don't always fit in a cookie cutter strategy of what you're, and I'm using air quotes, supposed to talk about. I want to take some of those creative liberties back and those creative freedoms back. I I do. I I want to be able to talk about the things that I want to talk about, to talk about what feels alive for me and to share it from an open heart. And I know this isn't the conversation that I had planned for visibility for truth for the fear of speaking your truth, but I think it illustrates the point very nicely because again, we're meant to share what we're meant to share. And that message is always gonna, and it'll evolve. Be open to that for that to evolve, right? And and speaking your truth can be like speaking your truth on a podcast, it could be speaking your truth in a marriage or a relationship in family with friends and with a coworker. I lost my job as a result of speaking my truth. Would I do it again in a heartbeat? Because I don't think I could live with myself if I hadn't done that. That's what speaking your truth is all about. Was it hard? Sure. Do I regret it? Not even a little. Not even a little. Because I know I said the thing that I needed to say. And trusting that the thing that I need to say, especially when it keeps tapping on my shoulder to say it, wouldn't be tapping on my shoulder if there wasn't somebody out there in the world who needed to hear it. And learning to trust that beyond all the fear that I will be called out, cancelled, ganged up on has been the biggest. For me, the biggest learning curve for me, transformation for me, that I have that I have managed to accomplish in this entire journey. And I didn't realize how much the fear of what my peers would think was influencing me until this challenge or this series began. And I see now how misaligned I have been. And I think I do feel like I want to do an episode on what alignment looks like versus because there's a huge difference between what's misaligned versus what's triggering and what you're supposed to do with each. But this was textbook misalignment. Where I knew I wasn't aligned, I felt it in my body, but I kept pushing, trying to push through it. And this is, we do this, and it burnt me out. And so, you know, like I said, expect things to change in the coming weeks on the Femcast. But for now, just sit with that for a second. Where are you biting your tongue? Where are you hoping nobody will ask you, hey, what do you think about this? Where are you staying quiet because you don't agree with what everyone else is saying? Or that you're afraid of what how everyone else is going to respond to what you have to say. Where is that? And where does that keep tapping you on the shoulder? Or how often does that keep tapping you on the shoulder? Because the more that it taps you on the shoulder to say, the more important it is to be said. Think of it this way. Because I know that if you're listening to this podcast, you're a woman who's got a massive impact to make in the world, who is here to share a story, a message, a gift, to get visible, to be seen, to be heard, and to make an impact with it. So what if that thing that you're supposed to be sharing, whether it's on your blog, podcast, social media profile, whether it's in your community, whether it's in your family, whether it's in your friendship circle, whether it's in your relationship, what if that thing that keeps tapping you on the shoulder to be said is the very thing that you need to say in order to create the change that you want to see in the world? What if, think of it this way, and I know this sounds far-fetched, but think of it for a second. What if, what if you see all the suffering in the world, you know it's affecting you, and I know it's affecting you because you follow me, and you're not gonna follow me if this stuff doesn't affect you. I'm sorry. This is this is not the place where we, you know, gaslight ourselves into thinking that everything is fine and fine and and rainbows and roses in the world. But you see what's happening in the world and you see that it's affecting you, and you see that, you know, it it takes a toll on you, right? And you know, you don't like to see human suffering, you don't like to see people like, you know, being treated the way that they're treated in the world. And what if that truth that you're holding on to, that you're biting your tongue with, is the very thing that people need to hear in order to create the change that you know the world needs. Maybe not right away. Maybe it won't change everybody, but maybe it'll change a few people, and then those people will go on and change a few more people, and so on, and so on, and so on, or maybe it'll just change the right person's mindset, and then they'll implement a big and massive change. But you gotta start thinking of it as that way because these voices that come through our soul, they're not random. I believe they are divinely placed there with a message for us to share. And the more that we get tapped on the shoulder to share that message, the more important that message is, the greater impact it can have, whether that's in our relationships, in our families, in our communities, or in the world. So we have to start trusting those. And we also have to start being okay with letting people just be upset with what it is that we have to say, because we're not gonna change, create the change and the transformation that we need to create in the world without being willing to piss a few people off. And that's what this is really all about. Be willing to say and do the unpleasing thing, be willing to piss a few people off. Stop silencing yourself and telling yourself, no. No, I'm not gonna say the thing that you that is so important for you for you to for me to say because you don't matter as much as what everyone else thinks or feels, and that is literally what you're telling yourself every time you try and silence yourself. So I really want you to sit with that. Because I know I have. I've been sitting with that a lot this week, last few weeks. And you know, what I've sat with is, you know, what would I be saying if I wasn't afraid? What would how would I say this thing if I thought that maybe this is the change that the world needs, maybe this is the healing that the world needs, maybe this will create a ripple effect of change that I can't even see. Like if I thought that what I was saying right now, and this is one thing that I journaled on, if I thought that what I was saying right now could make all the problems in the world go away that I'm seeing out there that are breaking my heart, that are making me so sad for the people who are living in circumstances like that, isn't it worth it for me to say the thing? And the answer is always yes. Now, again, that might not be the case, but what if it is? Are you really gonna like keep that truth to yourself? And even if you can't, even if it does change the world, but you can't see it because it happens one ripple effect person at a time. You know, you influence one person, that person goes on to influence another person, another person, and so on and so on. And then somebody who actually is in a position to actually make a change is inspired by what you said. We have to start thinking. I know it's easy to feel powerless. I know it's easy to feel like our voice doesn't matter, but it does. And we're seeing that, and our voice has never mattered more. And so it's important to trust those messages that come through you, the ones that keep tapping you on your shoulder, because those are the ones that need to be shared. And again, I can't say this enough. More it's tapping you on your shoulder, the more important it is for you to share it. So, what's that message that's been tapping you on the shoulder to be shared? And how can you start sharing it? Either in the world, in your communities, in your families, in your relationships. Take that away and let me know what you come up with. Okay. Let me know in the comments whenever you're wherever you're seeing this. You can whether you're seeing this at the Femcast on Instagram, on the podcast, you can email me at marie at thefemcoach.com. I always love to hear from you guys. Please leave a positive rating and review wherever you're seeing this. Until next time, you guys, massive love.