Yammerin' about Happiness

SUMMARY

Stitch Mainville shares a heartfelt reflection on how our understanding of happiness evolves with age, emphasizing the importance of recognizing small, meaningful moments and the growth that comes with life's responsibilities.

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TAKEAWAY

• The difference between highlight reel happiness and real happiness
• The importance of small, meaningful moments
• How responsibilities and growth shape our understanding of happiness
• The role of reflection and presence in recognizing happiness
• Happiness as a reflection of our impact on others

If you connected with this story, I think you’ll find something meaningful in a book I wrote titled "Stitch in Time". It’s my way of sharing the journey, the mistakes, and the love that made me who I am. If you’d like to read more, your support helps me continue creating with MTC Studio. The link is below.

https://www.authorhouse.com/en/bookstore/bookdetails/284668-Stitch-in-Time

What is happiness? 
Happiness is a complex emotional state that can vary greatly from person to person. It encompasses feelings of joy, fulfillment, and contentment, often influenced by personal experiences and connections with others.

Mild adult language associated with this episode

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the quieter side of the internet. Out there it's chaos, noise, arguments, everybody shouting to be heard. But in here, the room is still. It's just us talking, sharing, yammerin. This isn't a show for the loud stuff or the raucous talk. This is yammerin' at a lower volume. A little time to look back, look around, and maybe find some perspective in the quiet. I'm Stitch Mainville. So pull up a chair and let's spend some time together. If you ask ten people what happiness is, you'll get eleven answers. And at least three of those answers will sound like they came straight off a coffee mug or a motivational poster. Or somebody's Instagram caption under a sunset that they didn't even stick around to watch. A world where happiness has branding. It's filtered. It's the smiling couple on vacation who argued the entire flight there. It's the guy with the new car who's already worried about the first scratch. It's the family photo where everyone looks perfect. And five minutes earlier, someone was crying in the bathroom. You see, that's that's Instagram happiness. And listen, I'm not knocking it. I mean, I've posted my fair share of everything's great moments too. We all do. We want to capture the highlight reel. That's that's us being human. But highlight reels are real, not real life. They're moments, not meanings. And for a long time, I didn't know the difference. You see, when I was a kid, happiness was simple. For me, it had a sound. And that sound was a bike chain clicking into gear as I pedaled my way down the street with nowhere to be and all day to get there. For me, it sounded like the theme song of my favorite cartoon on a Saturday morning. Because you would rush to watch those cartoons even before you brushed your teeth. Because, hey, priorities were different back then. For me, happiness smelled like dinner cooking from the kitchen. And even though I didn't know what it was, I knew it was gonna be good. Happiness felt like summer. Long days, no responsibilities. The world was big, and somehow you felt like you had all the time in it. That was happiness. You didn't question it, you didn't define it, you just lived in it. But then you grow up, and happiness gets complicated. Now the sounds of bike chains and cartoon theme songs are replaced with the sounds of alarm clocks, emails, deadlines. Now it smells like coffee you didn't have time to finish, and it feels like responsibility, bills, expectations, schedules, people depending on you. And somewhere along the way, you became the grown-up. And nobody really tells you when that happens. There's no ceremony, there's no announcement. It's not like a birthday party where you get a bunch of people to come over and hey, you're an adult now. Nope. You just wake up one day and realize, oh, it's me. I'm the one who has to figure this out. And that version of happiness, it doesn't look anything like what we grew up with. See, that version is heavier, it's quieter, and sometimes it's harder to recognize. And for a while I thought that meant I lost it. That maybe happiness was something that belonged to childhood. Something that didn't survive adulthood. But recently, I learned that's not true. Happiness didn't disappear, it just changed shape. I used to think happiness was something that we chased, something that we achieved, that we unlocked. If I can just get this job, then I'll be happy. If I can just make this much money, then I'll be happy. If I can just get to wherever, then I'll be happy. And for a while that works. You make a goal, you hit a goal, and you feel it. You buy something nice, you feel it. You get recognized, you feel it. But that feeling fades. Because that kind of happiness, it depends on everything going right. And life doesn't really operate that way now, does it? So you keep chasing different goals, different milestones, different versions of this'll be it, until eventually you get tired. And you start asking different questions. Not what will make me happy, but what already does. For me, that answer changed the day I realized something. Happiness wasn't about me anymore. And I don't mean that in some dramatic, life-altering movie scene kind of way. I mean it in a quiet moment. The kind you almost miss if you're not paying attention. For me, it was something small. One of my kids, no big stage, no audience, just did something kind. Something simple. My child made a choice, a good one. The kind of choice that tells you who someone is becoming. And the thing is, my child didn't do it because I told him to. Didn't do it for recognition. Just did it. And I remember watching that happen and thinking, wow, where did that come from? And then it hit me. Not all at once, but enough to feel it. That's when I realized happiness, it isn't about the feeling. It's about reflection. It's seeing something good in someone else and recognizing that somehow, in some small way, you had a hand in it. Not control, not ownership, just influence, presence, time. And that hit different. Because every version of happiness I had chased before that, it was it was about me. But this wasn't about what I felt in the moment. This was about what lasted beyond me. That's when everything changed. Now, don't get me wrong. Being a parent isn't some constant, growing, feel-good experience. There's messy days, loud days, exhausting days. Days where you're not sure you got anything right. Plenty of those. But then there are moments, small ones, like hearing them say something kind when they think no one's listening. Watching them stand up for someone else. Seeing them handle something better than you would have at their age. That's when you realize. They're not just growing, they're becoming. And somehow you're part of that story. That's happiness. Not loud, not flashy, but real. And here's the thing I wish that someone would have told me earlier. Happiness doesn't stay the same, it evolves. What felt like everything when you were a kid feels different now. And what feels meaningful now, you wouldn't have had any understanding of it back then. It's not a loss. It's a growth. Because happiness at 10 years old is freedom. Happiness at 20 is possibility. Happiness at 30, 40, or wherever you are in life now. Well, it starts to become meaning. Responsibility. Connection. Legacy. It becomes less about how life feels to you, and more about what your life gives to others. I want to say that again. It becomes less about how life feels to you. And more about what your life gives to others. That's that's the grown-up happiness. And yeah, that kind of happiness, it isn't always easy. Sometimes it's choosing patience when you don't have it. Sometimes it's showing up when you're tired. It's doing the right thing when nobody's watching. That doesn't feel like happiness in the moment. But later, the later you see it for what it was. Something real. Something that mattered. So maybe that's the shift. Maybe happiness isn't something you chase. Maybe it's something you grow into. From bikes and cartoons and summer days to responsibilities and expectations and showing up. To realizing that the joy in your life isn't just what you experience, it's what you help create in other people, in your kids, in your family, in the way you move through the world. So yeah. If you ask ten people what happiness is, you'll get eleven answers. And maybe that's exactly how it's supposed to be. Because happiness isn't one thing. It's not fixed. It's not permanent. It changes as we do. So maybe the real question isn't what is happiness? Maybe the real question should be, do I recognize happiness in the stage I'm in right now? Because it's there. It might not look like it used to. It might not feel like you expect it, but it's there. In the small moments and the quiet shifts, and the reflections that you didn't see coming. And if you can catch even a few of those, well, you're doing better than you think. Because real happiness, it's not something you find once. It's something that you keep learning how to see. And sometimes it takes growing up to finally recognize that you've had happiness all along. So maybe that's where we land this thing. After all the definitions, all the chasing, all the different versions of what we thought happiness was supposed to be. Maybe it's simpler than we made it. Maybe happiness isn't a destination. Maybe it's not something waiting for you at the end of a long road. Maybe it's been riding along with you the whole time, quietly, unannounced, not demanding your attention, just waiting for you to notice it. Maybe happiness isn't something that you achieve. Maybe it's something that witnesses your life as it's happening right now. And if you're listening to this, look, you've already had real happiness today, at least once. Maybe it was small. Maybe it didn't look like much. Maybe it was a conversation, a laugh, a moment of peace, a routine that you didn't think twice about, and you just walked past it. We all do it. Because we're busy, because we're focused on what's next, because we think happiness is supposed to feel bigger than that. But what if it's not? What if it's those exact moments? The ones that don't try to impress you, the ones that don't ask to be remembered, but end up being the ones that matter most. And here's the part that takes up residence in my mind. One day, one day, our kids, our grandkids. They're gonna look back at this time, right here, right now. And the stuff that we call busy, the stuff that we call stressful, the stuff that we think we'll only appreciate later, they are going to look back at it and call this the good old days. And we're in it. Right now, that version of life, the one that somebody else is gonna miss someday, we're living in it. So maybe real happiness isn't chasing something ahead of you. Maybe it's not trying to recreate something behind you. Maybe it's simply recognizing what's right in front of you while you're still in it. Before it becomes a memory, before it becomes a story that you tell. Before it becomes something you wish you could go back to. Just seeing it, feeling it, letting it count. Because one day, one day this moment, this ordinary, nothing special, don't think twice about it moment, is gonna mean everything. So if you can catch it now, even for a second, you're not missing it. You're living in it. And that might be the real thing, after all. I'm Stitch Mainville, and that's my two cents. As I wrap up this episode, I want to share something close to my heart. A few years back, I wrote a book called Stitch in Time. It's a fictional story, but every memory inside of it is based on something real that happened in my life. Now, if you're connected with today's story, I think you'll find something meaningful with Stitch in Time. It's my way of sharing the journey, the mistakes, and the love that made me who I am. If you'd like to read more, your support helps me continue creating with MTC Studio. I'll be sure to include a link to the book in the episode description. Thanks for listening and for being part of this story.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

This has been Gameron, an MTC original podcast, produced by Leo Mainville. Find Yamorin on all your favorite podcast platforms. Like, share, subscribe, and leave us a five star rating. For more Yamarin, find us on Facebook at facebook.com backslash Yamorin0315 and on Instagram at Yamarin0315. And thank you for listening.