Welcome to Real Talk with Reginald D's motivational coaching question and answer segment.

I'm your motivational coach, Reginald D.

On today's episode, I will address the listener's question about reclaiming self trust after emotional abuse and trusting again.

Now I want you to lean into today's conversation.

I want you somewhere quiet if it can be.

Because today's question isn't surface level.

It's not about money.

It's not even about purpose directly.

It's about something to do with your foundation.

So let's jump into today's episode.

A listener wrote. Reginald D.

How do I reclaim self trust after emotional abuse?

How do I ever trust someone else again?

That question right there tells me something powerful.

It tells me you are not bitter.

It tells me you are not trying to live in survival forever.

It tells me you want healing and wanting healing the strength.

Let me give you a definition of emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that involves non physical actions intended to control,

isolate or frighten an individual.

This can include actions such as insulting,

humiliating, threats and intimidation.

Emotional abuse can take away a person's self esteem and create psychological dependency on the abuser leading to long term emotional and psychological harm.

Emotional abuse is one of the most confusing forms of trauma because it makes you question your own reality.

It makes you replay conversations over and over in your mind.

It makes you wonder if you were too sensitive,

too emotional,

too dramatic.

It convinces you that your intuition was flawed.

And over time, you stop trusting what you feel.

You override your gut.

You silence your inner alarm system.

You begin living disconnected from yourself.

And that's the real damage.

Emotional abuse doesn't just hurt your heart,

it disconnects you from your internal compass.

Now let me slow this down.

When you stop trusting yourself,

everything becomes unstable.

Decisions feel heavy.

Relationships feel dangerous.

Even good opportunities feel suspicious.

You second guess compliments.

You doubt peace.

You scan for red flags even in safe rooms.

And the enemy of your growth becomes hesitation.

You tend to pause or hesitate before saying or doing something.

But here's the truth.

You are not broken.

You were conditioned.

And conditioning can be undone.

Let me tell you something personal.

There was a season in my life where I didn't trust my own voice.

Growing up poor,

being told by a few family members at 9 years old that I wouldn't amount to anything because I was born out of wedlock in a Southern Christian family.

What that did was plant seeds in my mind.

And seeds don't stay small,

they grow roots.

There were moments when opportunities came into my life and I felt this Internal resistance.

Not because I wasn't capable,

but because somewhere deep down a voice whispered,

you don't deserve this.

You're not really that good.

You're not good enough.

That wasn't humility.

That was internalized messaging.

And I had to make a decision in my life.

Was I going to continue trusting voices that wounded me?

Or was I going to start trusting the vision God planted inside of me?

That shift didn't happen overnight. It took years.

It happened through small acts of defiance against doubt.

I showed up anyway.

I spoke anyway. I chose belief.

Self trust is rebuilt through evidence.

And you create the evidence.

Think of your self trust like a muscle that's been in the cast.

When the cast comes off, it's weak,

it trembles.

It doesn't mean it's broken.

It means it hasn't been used.

So you don't throw heavy weight on it immediately.

You start small.

You lift light things,

you stretch it,

you strengthen it.

And that's how you reclaim self trust.

You start keeping small promises to yourself.

If you say you're going to rest,

rest.

If you say you're going to speak up, speak.

If your intuition says something feels off,

don't override it just to keep the peace.

Every time you honor yourself,

you rebuild credibility with yourself.

And let's talk about trusting others again.

This is where many people rush.

They either trust too fast out of fear of being alone, or they shut down completely and trust no one.

Neither is healthy trust is not a leap, it's a ladder.

You don't jump from the ground level to the rooftop. You climb one step at a time.

Healthy trust is built through consistency.

It's built through patterns.

Observe behavior over time.

You don't give someone your trauma story on day one.

You give them small access.

If they respect small boundaries,

you increase access.

If they handle your honesty with care,

you open a little more.

Now imagine your heart is a garter.

Emotional abuse with someone trampling through it, Stepping on flowers, uprooting seeds.

Now, healing is not pretending the damage didn't happen.

Healing is replanting.

It's protecting the soil,

it's installing the fence.

And it's being selective about who you give access to the gate.

Remember,

not everyone deserves a keep.

The Bible says in Proverbs 4, chapter 23, verse,

Guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

Gardening doesn't mean hardening, it means stewarding.

It means being wise.

It means recognizing that your heart is valuable.

Another thing I want you to address is always being in a state of alertness.

Many of you feel on edge now.

You read between the lines.

You anticipate abandonment.

You brace for disappointment.

Let me normalize something for you.

That's your nervous system trying to protect you.

It learned that unpredictability equals danger,

so now it scans constantly.

But part of healing is retraining your nervous system,

teaching it that safety exists,

that not everyone is your past.

That calm doesn't mean something bad is coming next.

And you do that slowly,

through safe friendships,

through therapy, if possible,

through spiritual grounding, through environments that reinforce stability.

Psalms 147, chapter, third verse, says,

he heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Notice it says binds.

That implies process.

It implies time.

It implies care.

You don't rip off the bandage just to prove you're strong.

Strength isn't pretending you wouldn't hurt. Strength is allowing yourself to heal properly.

Now, I want you to add something deeper here.

One of the biggest lies emotional abuse leaves behind is this.

You can't trust yourself because you chose wrong.

Many survivors blame themselves for not seeing red flags earlier.

Listen to me carefully.

You trusted based on the information you had at that time.

That is not foolishness.

That is humanity.

Wisdom grows through experience.

And now you have new wisdom.

That doesn't mean you are damaged.

It means you're showing good judgment.

Showing good judgment is not paranoia. Showing good judgment is awareness without fear, controlling you.

Let me give you another layer.

Sometimes the hardest part of healing is grieving the version of yourself that existed before the abuse.

The carefree you. The open you.

The naive but hopeful you.

And it's okay to grieve that.

But don't mistake transformation for loss.

You're not becoming smaller.

You're becoming wiser.

And wisdom paired with compassion is powerful.

Now, here's your challenge for the week ahead.

I want you to write down three areas where you override your intuition.

Is it in conversations?

Is it in dating? Is it at work?

Identify one situation this week where you will pause instead of react.

Where you will listen to your internal voice instead of dismiss it.

Second, I want you to journal evidence of your resilience.

Write five things you handled well despite what you went through.

You survived.

You adapted.

You learned.

That's strength.

I want you to practice self vulnerability.

Share something small but honest with someone safe.

Notice how they respond.

Healthy people respond with empathy, not control.

And finally, every morning this week, I want you to say this aloud.

I am rebuilding trust with myself,

and I move at the pace of peace.

Fam.

Emotional abuse may have shaken your foundation,

but it didn't destroy it or erase your worth you're not behind. You are not foolish you are not weak for loving deeply.

Loving deeply is not the problem.

Misplaced trust was the lesson and lessons when learned become power.

You are rebuilding and rebuilding is holy work.

I would like to thank my listeners for their question and I truly hope it helps someone today.

Now don't forget to send your questions to me via email at rsherman@realtalkwithreginaldd.com  or visit my website at https://www.realtalkwithreginaldd.com  and instant message me.

Make sure you share this episode with someone who you believe needs to hear this message today.

That's all for today's episode fam I hope you found this episode helpful and remember your past shaped you but it does not get to script your future.

Thank you for tuning in and until next time, let's heal, let's grow and let's rise.

You had a power and greatness is inside of you.

See you next time.