Addiction, Shame & Redemption: Author Tonya (T.I.) Lowe On Faith, Healing & Hope (Inspirational)

Can someone battling addiction, shame, grief, or mental health struggles still experience God’s grace, healing, and redemption?

In this powerful inspirational episode, Reginald D sits down with bestselling author Tonya (T.I.) Lowe for an honest conversation about addiction, mental health, grief, faith, redemption, healing, and hope. Drawing from personal family experiences and the inspiration behind her new novel South of Somewhere, T.I. shares powerful insights about addiction, recovery, shame, grace, and the importance of creating safe spaces for healing.

T.I. discusses how addiction has impacted her own family, the misconceptions people have about addiction, and why so many faith communities struggle to openly address topics like mental illness, substance abuse, and emotional pain. She also shares why storytelling can become a pathway toward healing and how faith and motivation help people move forward even during life's darkest seasons.

This deeply motivational and inspirational conversation explores:

• Addiction, recovery, and redemption
• Mental health and faith
• Healing from grief and loss
• Breaking the stigma around addiction
• The power of grace and forgiveness
• How storytelling creates healing
• Faith and motivation during difficult seasons
• Why churches need safe spaces for transparency
• Emotional healing and personal growth
• Finding hope when life feels hopeless

T.I. also shares moving personal stories about losing loved ones to addiction, learning to love people through their struggles, and discovering that healing is often a process rather than a destination.

Millions of people today are struggling with addiction, mental health challenges, grief, shame, anxiety, depression, family trauma, or watching someone they love battle these issues. And many people silently carry pain because they feel judged, misunderstood, or afraid to ask for help. This episode speaks directly to those struggles.

Press play now to hear this powerful motivational and inspirational conversation and discover how faith, grace, and hope can help transform even life's most difficult struggles into opportunities for healing and redemption.

Tonya's Contact Information:

Purchase Tonya's new book:  "South of Somewhere" via her website or anywhere books are sold.

Website: https://www.tilowe.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tilowe

 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/T.I.Lowe

Goodreads: T.I. Lowe

Transcript

Reginald D: Welcome to Real Talk with Reginald D

I'm your host, Reginald.

On today's episode, I have Tanya Loww

better known as TI. Tonya, is a best selling author and a fearless storyteller who dives into life's hardest topics,

mental illness, addiction, grief and redemption, while grounding them in faith, humanity and hope.

Welcome to the show, T.I.

Tonya Lowe: well, thank you for having me.

Reginald D: Absolutely. Thank you for being here. Thank you for being here. So tell us a little bit about your childhood and where you grew up.

Tonya Lowe: My childhood, so I am from a little tiny town called Lors, South Carolina. And I tell people loris and they're like, they have never heard of that. So I always say is near Myrtle beach, is inland of Myrtle Beach.

And so my childhood was surrounded by farmland and it was a quiet childhood. Yeah. And funny enough, I still live there. I'm still in Lors, South Carolina. I'm a country girl at heart.

And now you can't tell by my accent.

Reginald D: Yeah, they can't tell by mine either. Right. We both from South Carolina.

Tonya Lowe: I know what accent. Right.

Reginald D: I know it. Right.

So, Ti, your upcoming book, south of Somewhere, tackles addiction recovery, shame and redemption.

Can you tell us about your book and why you wrote it?

Tonya Lowe: Yeah, it's called south of Somewhere. And have you ever, you don't have to answer it, but it's just in general is have you ever just felt like you've been south of where you need to be in life?

And so that's where the title comes from, south of somewhere. And the young lady, Junie, she has found herself that she is south of where she needs to be in life.

My family has personally been affected by a loved one that battled drug addiction.

And there's been, you know, a long line of history of alcoholism in my family. And I think about, you know, they're all good people in my family. You know, they had their rough edges or whatnot, but they,

they had their struggles. And it was with, you know, alcohol or drugs and whatnot. And I just wanted to.

Sometimes there's something I want to understand better and I'll just start researching it. Like I want to understand mental illness for one of my other books. Well, I wanted to understand addiction better and I started researching.

And for me, as a creative, I work out things through writing stories.

And so this one is about that. And, you know, the more I research and the more I've been talking about this book, almost every family is affected by it. And so I felt like, you know, there's a pretty big need to discuss addiction and open the Conversation for people to talk about it.

Reginald D: Yeah. Because the thing about addiction, a lot of people, I've learned, look down on people that has addiction and things they struggle with.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: But I found them to be like the best people in the world. They help you do anything, they help you. Yeah, whatever. I mean, it's just, it's got this closet thing going on that they're dealing with, but they kind hearted people, everybody just.

David is not bad people.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

And I don't know too, but I feel like if you educate yourself on something, you understand what that person's going through and maybe have more empathy for someone that's going through something.

If we don't educate ourselves about it, we're ignorant. And a lot of times we act in ignorance. Well how we treat people. And so I'm with you on that. Some of the best people I know has.

My loved one who passed away due to drugs, she would give you the shirt off her back. You know, she loved the Lord. She just fell into a bad spot in life.

My grandfather was an alcoholic, but that man would do anything in the world for you. And so I just hope that people can read this book or you know, talk about, be able to share their stories with others a lot of times.

And I think that's the best thing is when I write these stories and it's a book, it's a work of fiction south of somewhere, and it opens the door for people to just share their true stories.

And so many times at my book events, I'd say at least 10% so far this year of the group of the crowd that will be at an event, at least 10% will come up to me and tell me their personal struggles with loved ones with addiction.

So I think that's important to be able to talk about it.

Reginald D: Yeah, it is. It is.

So you chose to explore topics many people in faith communities avoid talking about openly. What do you think addiction and mental health are still so stigmatized in like the Christian space?

Tonya Lowe: I think it's because I think we've got something wrong and that's the, you know, we give our life over to Jesus and all of a sudden everything's perfect and we're perfect, but we'll never be perfect.

If that was the case, Jesus would have never had to come and die for our sins. Right.

And there's a Matthew west song that talks about the church should look more like a hospital.

We should be able to go there and share our struggles and be ministered to and I don't know why and I'LL do it. You know, we can have a bad time before we go to church on Sunday, but as soon as you get there, what do you do?

You put on your smile and you're like, everything's just great and wonderful, but, you know, you just had a mess at the house. And I don't know why. We feel like, you know, as a Christian, that I've got to put on this happy face and, you know, everything's perfect,

but it's not. And I don't know what you would. That's not relatable to me. And if you read your Bible, the whole book is filled with very imperfect people.

And I relate to them so much. And I'm just so grateful that God knew that we needed those examples to show us, yeah, you can make a mess, but I can still do something wonderful with your life.

Reginald D: Yeah, absolutely. I remember one time at our church back home in South Carolina,

you know, we had a.

Called the BAM ministry. It's called Be a Man.

And we lock these men.

You know, we'll go into the back. Like you couldn't do choir rehearsal that week or nothing because it was sacred.

And it was just men. They were just opening it up about addiction,

you know, infidelity, all the stuff. And most of these men had careers. They had all this stuff going on, but they had these other demons they was wrestling with.

And we would go in this room and we would talk and we would minister, we would talk through it. Next thing I know, they were going to work bringing people that wet members to the church saying, hey man, you got to go to this be a man thing on Tuesday night.

You know, everybody was just emptying out. It was a safe place. And I think when people feel safe in their addictions or what they're going through,

that actually helps going down the road of healing.

Yeah, a lot of them really healed from their things they was wrestling with because they, you know, they felt safe even open up and talk to somebody, you know, because when you career driven guy, you know, you making the money, you know, you're not gonna really open up.

Nobody. The bank account looks good and everything good. You know, you're not gonna do it until you get into that certain place. And. And it was a hill of place.

I was real proud of that.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah, I bet. So we need more of that.

Reginald D: Yeah.

Tonya Lowe: And it's not, you know, and I,

I don't want to say that. Oh, we need that just so we can say, yeah, I'm imperfect. Just be able to go somewhere and get the support and someone, you know, just be able to talk about things and get support and be able to get on a path of healing.

So, yeah, every church should have that going on.

Reginald D: Yeah, I think they need to be, you know, a little transparent in church and not just,

you know, preaching the gospel on Sunday morning and think everybody's okay when they walk out the door, you know? Yeah, you have to understand that kind of stuff. So ti.

How do faith and addiction collide in real life? And what have you learned about grace through writing this story from personal experience?

Tonya Lowe: I loved one from what we live with her.

She was, you know, she had a heart for God. And I know she was a believer. She just. She got.

Had a knee injury, and it started from there. And the doctor. And this was back in the late 90s where they were handing out prescription drugs like candy in the doctor's office.

And it's escalated from there. And then,

as you know, there was a lot of rules put on doctors writing these prescriptions.

Well,

just because they cut those prescriptions off to their patients didn't mean that the patients were all of a sudden, okay, I'm cured. I'm not addicted to needing this pain pill anymore.

So what did they have to do? They turned to street drugs, and it's just a downhill spiral from there. And I witnessed that with my own two eyes.

And I just feel like.

And I tried to share my loved one grace. I tried to hard love my loved one,

you know, hoping that they would go to rehab. And it was.

It was a struggle for the whole family.

And I learned from watching her over the years and being in this situation with her and her struggles and her poor decisions.

I know that she loved God and she loved Jesus and believed that he was her Lord and savior,

but she still had to struggle.

And the last few years, it had gotten really bad. And I remember my daily prayer was, God, don't let Satan have her.

And we are three years out from losing her.

And then I think maybe that was God answering our prayer. He has her now.

She's no longer in this world fighting Satan and this addiction.

And I just wish.

I wish that she could come back here for my sake, just because if she was here today, I would just love on her where she was at.

And it taught me from losing her that even though I might not agree with someone and what they're going through, and they can know that I don't agree with maybe a lifestyle or whatnot, but I can still love them where they're at.

And so that's the Grace that I've learned through this experience?

Reginald D: Absolutely.

Tonya Lowe: And isn't that what grace is anyway? Loving someone even though they don't deserve it? Because that's what Jesus did for us, right?

Reginald D: Absolutely. He does it every day. Every day, Every day. What's one misconception people have about addiction that you wish the world would stop believing?

Tonya Lowe: No drug addict, no alcoholic, woke up one morning, said, this is the day I want to ruin my life. I want to take this one pill,

I want to smoke this one joint, I want to have this one drink and just ruin my life. Wasn't a choice. Almost like then I made a choice to try that pill or try that drug or try that alcohol.

Not everybody has the addiction gene, so to speak. I can take something and leave it. It doesn't affect me that way. Now if you put a piece of chocolate cake in from it, I'm going to want the whole cake.

And I know that's just a taste of what addiction is. I have a huge sweet tooth.

But I have never had a struggle where I would, you know, crave an alcoholic beverage or I, you know, I can't live without something.

My husband put it in a way he heard, and then I ended up incorporating in the book. He said, what if you were told today is the last day you can pick this phone up,

you know, your cell phone, you have to put it down and not pick it up.

How hard would that be?

And I forgot how. I mean, it is a crazy number of how many times an average person picks their phone up in the day.

And that is what an addict feels like about wanting to pick up a drink. They're constantly thinking about, oh, you know how we constantly think, I need to check my phone.

They're constantly thinking, oh, I need a drink, or I need a pill, or whatever it is.

And so I think the misconception is we think they could just put it down and never pick it back up.

And it's not the case.

It's not that easy for them.

Reginald D: Yeah, the cell phone is one of the most addictive things. I'm telling you. It doesn't matter where you go. I can be in the airport at 3 o' clock in the morning.

I see somebody on the phone, like, who are you really? Like,

at 3:00' clock in the morning, it's like, what? Yeah, you know,

it's crazy, you know, but that's a good way to put it.

So do you believe broken people can fully heal or do they learn how to carry their skulls differently?

Tonya Lowe: I am of the mindset that we'll never be completely healed of anything in this world. Well, we'll never be perfect in this world. There will be a day after we take our last breath here if we're believers.

Right.

I do feel like we manage our scars. We can manage our scars better. And just like you said with that support group, that's a way with the men's group, that they could carry their scars in a more healthier way, work on healing.

What do you think about that?

Reginald D: I think it's a process.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: I really think it's a process. You know, I think it just doesn't.

Tonya Lowe: Sure. Won't happen overnight, will it?

Reginald D: Yeah, overnight you have to find people that you can trust and that can coach you and.

And get counseling or whatever the case may be, you know, spending more time with God. Whatever works.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: But I think it's definitely a process. And you have to change your habits.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: Every day. You know, I think you change up your hats and do stuff differently. You know, that'll help. But if anybody listening right now, and you and I both agree,

don't get discouraged in what you're trying to change in your life.

You know, it's a process. You just got to work it.

Tonya Lowe: Yes. And there's gonna be days where you fall down. You just gotta pick yourself up and try again. I've always struggled with my weight, and the older I've got, I just turned 50 last week.

I have, you know, and I've learned a lot in my. Thank you. I have learned a lot in my 50 years. And that is. You got to give yourself grace, too.

This whole it's all or nothing doesn't work. Like, there's been times in my life where I've been all in for weight loss, eating, healthy, exercise. But as soon as I mess up one time,

I'm going way back in the other direction. But it don't work that way. One day I might have this piece of chocolate cake, and that's fine. Just the next day, don't have cake.

So it is a process.

And even if you slip up, that's not the end of the world.

So South Carolina's motto is actually,

while I breathe, I hope.

And I carried that thing throughout the whole book, and I really believe it. As long as there's breath in our body, we still have hope. Don't give up.

Reginald D: Yes, well, but well put. So ti your stories carry so much humanity and hope. Have you personally witnessed storytelling help someone heal emotionally or spiritually?

Tonya Lowe: Oh, my gosh. I think, Reggie, that's the Biggest. Can I call you Reggie? I just called you Reggie.

Reginald D: My friends call me Reggie. So, you know.

Tonya Lowe: Okay, well, we're friends, right?

Reginald D: Yeah, we're friends.

Tonya Lowe: That is the biggest gift that God has given me in the past. I've been writing so since 2014. So how many years is that? Oh, my gosh, I done put myself on the spot to do math.

12 years. Yeah, 12 years now.

And the biggest gift in that is,

you know, I'm writing fiction stories, totally made up, make believe stories. They might be based on real issues or whatnot. But the biggest gift is when I receive an email or someone shows up at my event and they said,

you know, I've been going through this struggle in my life and I quit going to church. You know, I felt like God turned his back on me. She says, but.

Or, you know, he. Or she.

There's been times. And they said, but reading your story showed me that we all are there and that it's just life and I should be blaming God for this. And I've gone back to church or I didn't feel worthy enough to be in church because I'm going through this situation.

But you showed me I need to go to church. I can still go to church anyway.

One of the biggest impactful emails I have ever received.

It was early on in my career and it was in a time where I was questioning whether,

you know, I was good enough to do this. I feel like I'm just a Southern storyteller. I don't have any educational background on writing.

And I received an email. She said,

the young woman said, I just wanted you to know that I don't sleep well at night.

And she said, you, story got me through the night last night.

I was like, oh, wow. And then the next paragraph,

she went on to explain that she was sold into human trafficking at age six by her mother for drugs and that she was rescued out of that world only a few years before she emailed me, she was actually living in a home that has been created for women that are rescued out of human trafficking.

And it was very humbling for her to share that with me. I mean, she has lived this atrocious nightmare of a life.

And she said that my humble words in a book helped her. And I was like, oh, wow.

And so after that, I'm like, you know, no matter how plain speaking my books are,

you know, or whatnot, even if they don't sell, you know, millions of copies or whatnot, if it sold one copy to someone like this young lady, and it helped Her.

That's what it's all about.

Reginald D: Yes, exactly. And a lot of times it doesn't take education, sometimes just take the anointing and that's what you got.

Tonya Lowe: Well, thank you. I believe so too, because I like. It's all God when things like this happen.

Reginald D: Absolutely. Absolutely. So for someone listening right now who feels ashamed of their past, what would you want them to know?

Tonya Lowe: Ti,

we all have a past. And I mean, there's things in my past I'm ashamed of, but God forgave me for my past. God, you know, I asked God today to forgive me for any sin that I have committed.

And he is faithful to grant that. And we need to forgive ourselves too.

And I think that's the biggest takeaway is we are typically hardest on ourselves,

but God gives us grace when we ask him for forgiveness and we need to give that to ourselves as well.

Reginald D: Yes. Because that's why Jesus had to die on the cross. And then now that's why they say you got brand new mercies every morning.

Tonya Lowe: That's right.

Reginald D: No matter what you did last night, the day before, whatever, the next morning you get up, you got brand new mercies.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: So, Ti, I want to talk about this. You were writing these heavy stories like this.

How do you protect your own mental and emotional well being? Because I know it has to be something inside of you to just get you just triggered or emotionally while you're doing this.

Tonya Lowe: It does. There's some really heavy riding days. And one of my dear friends and mentor Theo talked to her about the heavier parts of a story.

And I'll never forget there was one day so under the Magnolia, it was about three books ago. It's about mental illness and there were some pretty heavy riding days. And I was explaining it to her and she said, Tanya, today you need to step away from the heaviness of that story for your own sake.

She said,

today needs to be a light writing day, something fun.

And I have learned and leaned on and I think about my readers when I do this too, is there might be a very heavy chapter, but then I'm going to incorporate some humor along the way.

And I have to do that for myself too. I don't know about you, but life is heavy and the best way to get through it is laughter. And so I'll cut jokes,

even real life, probably and very serious times, but that's my way of coping. And I remember there's a funeral home scene and under the Magnolias. And I won't give it away because it was pretty Hilarious.

And I remember writing it laughing myself.

And my readers have told me that was one of their favorite scenes. And it made them laugh. And so laughter is definitely good medicine.

Reginald D: It is, absolutely.

And the thing you just saying, when you have a burden,

are you carrying people in your heart and on your shoulders? I did this a lot in doing outreach ministry. I bet a lot of people, all different walks of life.

And I would come home, man, sometimes I would just like cry,

you know, I mean, it's like it just heavy, man. Like God shouldn't be this way, you know, and things like that. And I feel like sometimes me, my team, we not doing enough.

But it's only so much you can do it at some moments. You see what I'm saying?

So I understand what you're saying.

Tonya Lowe: How do you deal in both in the heavier moment?

Reginald D: Well, a lot of times I will pray, I will meditate.

You know, I would go into gratitude because I feel like if I had the opportunity of God resenting the opportunity for me to run into this person, it was for a reason.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: The purpose part of it keeps me going,

you know, it just keeps me going. Even though the outcome may not be like you want it to be at the moment, but you keep working at it, you keep doing it and you keep trusting God and then he'll make a way at the end of the day.

Tonya Lowe: Yep.

It's a lot about our attitudes on things too. My friend, she was in a heavier spot in her life a while back, and I've been through some heavy seasons recently too.

And she says, you know, I have to do this and I have to do that and this is coming up and I have to do it. And I said, yeah, I've been there.

There's a lot of have to's. I said, but, you know, I started thinking about,

there's one word. If we change one word in there,

it makes a whole difference. Instead of, I have to, I get to,

you know, I get to write,

I get to share these heavier stories. And just changing your attitude on it a lot, I think, helps.

Reginald D: Yeah, it does. I mean, the whole approach changes,

you know, how you look at the day, how you look at the moment is when you change, you know, the attitude in your mind, you know, to a positive state instead of some state that's going to be negative or something that you may not can accomplish, which will make you feel bad when,

you know, said and done and go back to it. I think that,

I don't know, I think that what really drives me and what drove Me and all the work that God allowed me to do,

Very remarkable work on the outreach side of things.

But I come from a generation of pastors, preachers, and all of that. My whole family.

But one guy who changed my mind is when I sat down with a homeschool in downtown Greenville on Main street,

and he was a homeless Vietnam veteran.

And I went to talk to him and I fed him,

and we just had a conversation. And he blowed my mind, changed the whole way I look at things. I mean, he blowed my mind. I thought everything I heard growing up in the church,

that one angel on that bench, now, he may not look like an angel to everybody else, and that's what you got to be careful with when you out there. They may not look like an angel like you think in your mind,

but could be an angel right there sitting in front of you, even though you're dirty. They may be looking just like. You know, not like you, not like regular people.

But there's an angel sitting right there. You just got to take the time to figure it out.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah. Oh, wow.

Reginald D: Yep. So do you think people sometimes misunderstand what grace actually looks like?

Tonya Lowe: I think so.

So, as described graces,

there's a saying. I could probably rattle it off if I weren't trying to tell you about grace, but a preacher said it one time in our pastor, and it really stuck with me.

And it's about,

grace is what God gives you,

even though you don't deserve it.

And mercy.

No. Grace is what God doesn't give you, even though you deserve it.

Reginald D: Right.

Tonya Lowe: Mercy is what God gives you,

even though you do just. I don't. I'm messing the whole thing up. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I'm messing up. Can you translate my gibberish on what I was meaning?

Reginald D: Grace is something that you don't deserve. But God.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: To get away.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: You know, and grace and mercy, I think, comes in one thing. They're together.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: We don't deserve either one of them. We go out here, we do things that's detrimental to our life.

Some people, I hear testimonies, and they tell me these testimonies. I'm like, God, man, you should have been dead.

You know?

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: You're telling you about it, and just grace and mercy. And that's what they always say, grace and mercy carry me through,

you know,

and that's what it is. We didn't deserve it. We try to do our own self, you know, thank God for Jesus and the blood.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah. You know,

and the Thing with grace and mercy, I don't. I don't think you can earn it.

And even.

Even person to person,

if it's done right, you give grace and mercy to someone that doesn't deserve it and vice versa.

And so I think, you know, God gives us grace and mercy we don't deserve,

and we should try to do the same for people. Don't you agree?

Reginald D: Oh, yeah, absolutely. You have to. You can't give something, don't give it back.

Tonya Lowe: That's right.

Reginald D: You know, you can't. You know, you start walking that life, you talking about grace and mercy, then somebody do something, then you don't give them grace, and they go, but they

Tonya Lowe: don't deserve it, you know?

Reginald D: Right.

Tonya Lowe: I popped off. Well, they sure don't deserve it.

Reginald D: Right. Yeah.

Tonya Lowe: Oh, I don't deserve anything either.

Reginald D: Right, Exactly. So ti, if someone listening today feels stuck in addiction, grief, shame, or hopelessness, what would you say directly to them right now?

Tonya Lowe: Oh, gosh, I want to give them a big hug first,

and I tell them I'm sorry. I'm sorry that they're even dealing with it. I hate that it's something that I can't take away from somebody. I'm a do, let's go get it done kind of girl.

I'm a fixer. I want to fix things.

And,

you know, I've learned there's some things that I can't fix. But I would say,

you know, reach out and get help.

And there's all kinds of support groups through churches.

Oh, my gosh. I looked up when I was doing research for south of Somewhere, the AA meetings and all the different kinds. There's open meetings, closed meetings, there's online meetings.

There's plenty of help out there.

Just, you know,

put yourself first and reach out and get some help. You deserve the help. You deserve another chance. And there's so many resources.

You just got to take that first step and reach out for help. And like you said,

you know, find people that you trust and reach out to them.

Reginald D: Yes, exactly. And then at the end of the day, believe that you can and want to change. You know, at the end of the day, you want to change.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: So to think about it, you said something. You said that you'll fix her.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah.

Reginald D: And that's one of the things my wife always no, that's how I am.

You know, I'm a fixer. And when I can't fix something, I go like, I can't.

My mind just go crazy. And a lot of times it's not my Fight. I know it's like over my head,

but I'm in leadership, so with my team, I fix stuff. I come home, my grandkids need this, something happened by my kids, whatever, I just fix it, you know.

But when it comes down to it, when you can't really fix it, it just drives me nuts.

Tonya Lowe: Me too. Me too.

Reginald D: So T, I.

Tonya Lowe: And that's where you just gotta give it over to God. I can't do it. I want to.

Reginald D: Yeah, yeah, I know it. I said I'm driving myself crazy right now. I said God is in your hands now.

I'm done.

Moving on to the next so.

So T, I have what I call quick fire questions.

Tonya Lowe: Oh, okay.

Reginald D: It's not a right or wrong answer. It's just whatever you throw out there. What's one word that describes hope? Or more than one that matter?

Tonya Lowe: That describes hope. Oh my gosh. I didn't told you. I'm 50 years old, I got a 50 year old brain and you want me to respond fast?

Reginald D: No, I'll wait. Hope.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah. What's one word you would describe? Hope. And then I'll answer after you.

Reginald D: Okay. God.

Tonya Lowe: Let's see how quick your brain, huh?

God.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. I mean that was a no brainer and I couldn't even think of it. Yeah,

for sure. God.

Reginald D: Yep. Absolutely.

Tonya Lowe: Yeah. Hope, right there.

Reginald D: Is there a book out there that

Tonya Lowe: changed your life besides the Bible?

The Bible definitely changed my life for sure.

I would say Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.

That book is based off of Hosea, the story in the Bible about Hosea. And that changed my life because it showed me through fiction that you can demonstrate God's love and show the imperfections of humans,

but how perfect God is in using them.

Reginald D: Got it. So Ti, what keeps your faith strong during hard seasons?

Tonya Lowe: I tell you, and I've been through some hard seasons, as everybody has.

I've had some really devastating losses and I don't know how people get through it without God. You know, I, I'll be madden and, and I feel like,

and I think more so that you know, that I'm a parent, that I feel like I want my children to come to me with anything that's burdening them.

And it's really helped me understand that that's how God is too.

So I might be mad about something and I'll question like, why am I going through this? What is the reasoning from this? And I have learned that if I stay faithful in asking God and going to God with these issues and these Problems and these hard seasons alive.

It may take years out from that devastating time,

but it's amazing to look back and see God working through it. And every single time I can see him with me throughout whatever the hard season in life is. You know, I just lost my mother in law and know he's with us and we're going to be okay.

And that is such a comfort, knowing that he is there no matter what's going on.

Reginald D: Yes. And you said something, I'm a back up on that. You was talking about kids being free to come to you with anything they're going through.

Now you from the south and I'm from the south,

yeah. In the same state.

Back in the day we really didn't really have a voice like we do today. My grandparents and my parents, like, hey, it is what it is,

you know, you get over it, then do what you gotta do. Feelings don't matter, you know what I'm saying? They want what they want, you know, But I've learned through now having kids, grandkids is that when you open up like that, that's the most powerful thing you can do.

Especially in this time in the world. It's so much stuff that they can reach out to,

to comfort them. And as a parent, if you don't open up and try to understand where they're coming from and trying to teach it in a logical way and try to be supportive,

then you know,

nine times ten, the world gonna end up raising your kids.

Tonya Lowe: Yes,

exactly.

And you know, I grew up in time. We didn't have cell phones, we didn't have online, we didn't have social media.

But you know, I'm from the old school southern family where you know, my parents said it's my way or the highway and you know, suck it up if you know, you having a bad day.

Oh well. And I'm not saying their way was wrong, but I know,

just like you said,

if I don't have my doors, so to speak, open for my children to come to me with whatever's going on, it's just like you said, they're going to go find it somewhere else.

And I don't agree with what the world is showing kids.

So I want them to come to me, good or bad. And around here we call ourselves team low.

And a few years ago, my son, you know, he made decisions that he knew we weren't going to be thrilled about. I'm like, we're still a team.

You come to us. No one, you know, the world's not going to have your back, your family, your team's going to have your back. Come to me no matter what.

And I really feel like there's nothing they could do to lose my love for them. I might,

you know, become disappointed or there. You know, there's times where we don't like each other very much, but there's nothing they could do to lose my love. And it's so reflective of our savior.

There's nothing we could do to lose the love that he has for us. So we just got to keep turning back to him. No matter what we've done, no matter what we're going through,

just go to him with it.

Reginald D: Yes. Go through it all. Family over everything. Through it all.

Tonya Lowe: Yes.

Reginald D: You know, it's all said. So that's the sentence. Healing begins when.

Tonya Lowe: Healing begins when you accept the wound.

I think we run from things.

I think we don't want to face it.

We could be bleeding out and we'd be like, I'm not dealing with it today. Just put a patch on it and it's seeping down your arm and whatnot. But I think, you know, you got to acknowledge the wounds and then you can start healing.

Reginald D: That's it. So lastly, TI how can listen connect with you, purchase your book, or follow your journey?

Tonya Lowe: Well, I'm online. Ti lo.com easy to find me.

Social media. I enjoy Instagram. It's a quicker, I'm a short and sweet, to the point kind of person on social media. I don't know about you. I like to be able to go there and I see what's going on in people's lives and it's easy to keep up.

And so I enjoy Instagram.

And wherever books are sold, I always encourage my readers to seek out their small independent bookstores. We want to support the small businesses as much as possible. But I'm also anywhere online that sells books.

You can find me.

Reginald D: There you have it, TI Lowe. Thank you so much for being on the show today. You are remarkable

Tonya Lowe: Thank you for having me. Oh, no, I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This old southern girl likes to run my mouth.

Reginald D: Well, we got something in common

Tonya Lowe:  I really enjoyed talking to you.

Reginald D: Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you for listening to Real Talk With Reginald D. If you enjoy listening to Real Talk with Reginald D, please rate and review on Apple Podcasts. See you next time.