The Hidden Cost of Fitting In | Padmasini Dayananda on Belonging & Identity (Inspirational)

Have you ever felt like you had to hide part of who you are just to be accepted or belong?

What is the hidden cost of constantly trying to fit in?

How many people sacrifice their identity, confidence, mental health, and authenticity just to feel accepted at work, in leadership, or in society?

In this powerful inspirational episode, Reginald D welcomes back international speaker, TEDx speaker, transformation coach, and award-winning technology leader Padmasini Dayananda for a powerful conversation about belonging, identity, leadership, authenticity, diversity, inclusion, resilience, purpose, and personal growth.

Inspired by her TEDx Talk, The Hidden Cost of Fitting In, Padma shares her personal journey from growing up in India to becoming one of the UK's Top Diverse Leaders in Tech. She opens up about feeling invisible despite decades of professional success, the pressure to change her accent and identity to fit in, and the life-changing decision to embrace who she truly is rather than becoming who others expected her to be.

Together, Reginald D and Padma discuss:

• Why belonging is a fundamental human need
• The hidden emotional cost of trying to fit in
• How to build confidence without seeking validation
• Why authenticity creates stronger leadership
• The connection between identity and mental health
• How purpose evolves throughout life
• Why diversity without belonging isn't true inclusion
• How to lead boldly without losing yourself
• Practical ways to overcome fear, comparison, and self-doubt
• Why embracing your uniqueness unlocks your greatest impact

This episode reminds you that you were never created to become someone else—you were created to become the fullest version of yourself.

Whether you're struggling with confidence, feeling overlooked, navigating workplace challenges, searching for purpose, or trying to overcome self-doubt, this conversation offers practical wisdom that will inspire you to stop fitting in and start standing out.

Padma explains why authentic leadership begins with embracing your true identity instead of chasing approval. She shares powerful lessons from her personal journey, TEDx experience, and years leading global teams while helping you discover how confidence, belonging, and purpose come from within—not from other people's validation.

Press play now to discover how embracing your authentic identity can unlock greater confidence, stronger leadership, deeper purpose, and the freedom to stop living for other people's approval.

Padma's Contact Information:

The Hidden Cost of Fitting In | Padmasini Dayananda TEDx

Link: https://youtu.be/Kp4KTfFXuK8?si=2EGd03TGjGoeDnTE

Website: https:www.transformwithpadma.com

Instagram and Facebook:  @transformwithpadma 

LinkedIn https://uk.linkedin.com/in/padmasini-dayananda

10% discount on all programs for your listeners - Reginald10

Past Episode: 203 - Break The Mold: Empowering Women To Lead Boldly Without Burnout - Padmasini Dayananda's Motivational Journey

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:13

Welcome to Real Talk With Reginald D. . I'm your host, Reginald D. On today's episode, I have Padmasini Dayananda. She goes by Padma. Padma is a speaker, transformation coach, and a multi-award-winning woman in tech and was ranked number four in the top diverse leaders in UK tech. Today we will be discussing Padma's recent TEDx talk, the hidden cost of fitting in, and the illusion of inclusion that pushes many to erase parts of their identity just to belong. Padma, welcome back to the show.

Speaker 0:44

Thank you so much, Reginald. Such a pleasure. It's not very often that you get invited back to your podcast. So it's my honor and privilege to be part of this conversation.

Speaker 1 0:54

Yes, it's an honor to have you back. I had a great time last time we talked. So, Padma, the last time you were on the show was August 2025. And you talked about empowering women to lead boldly without burnout. By the way, I'll post a link to this episode in the show notes also. So let's start by giving everyone a little bit about your background and where you grew up and how you empower women and transform women.

Speaker 1:19

Sure. So I originate from India, southern part of India, a place called Chennai. Many of you know it's Twil Madras. And had a very interesting childhood because my dad was in the army, so we used to move from one city to the other every few years. So adapting to new culture and language and cuisine was part of my childhood. For those who are not familiar with the expanse of India, moving just abroad, if you drive 30 miles, 100 miles, you will be in having different cuisine, different language, different clothing, different culture. So it is so unique that every time you need to adjust and adapt. So that was part of my childhood. And I think that's made me who I am. So I've been with tech for about 25 years. I call myself an accidental technologist. In India, everyone just stumbles into being a doctor or an engineer. There was at least until certain time, things are changing now. And I was one of those who joined an engineering college, did my electronics and communication engineering. Then when I was so decided that I will not do something in tech because it's geeky, it is not for women, it's boring. I liked working with people, I liked solving problems, and definitely sitting in a corner of a room and typing out code was not what I wanted for myself. But when I got the offer letter from this great multinational for someone whose pocket money was 50 rupees equivalent to 50p, looking at the salary on the pay uh on the offer letter, said, Oh, why not give this a shot? It won't be that bad. I'll give it a try for one year, and then I will quit. That one year became 25 years across three continents, but I never wrote a single line of code. I got to solve people's problems, I got to work with people from different parts of the world, I got to understand industries, and I also got to do social impact. So the last eight years of my 25 years' career, now based in the UK, was about creating social mobility through skills, the right technology, future-facing skills and empowerment. So that's who I am. And two years back, I call it my midlife reinvention when I decided that I wanted basically follow my purpose, and that calling was to empower women. Because I had seen personally that the technology world has more space for women, there's more career paths, there is room at the table, there are more women senior levels, but it's always on top, built on sacrifice, guilt, personal well-being, burnout. And I wondered why. Why do women have to compromise and make those difficult choices to be successful? So that led me to setting up my transformational coaching program. I call it growth advisory and impact coaching because I actually give a growth blueprint and not just explore and let you find your own solutions. That also happens in terms of exploring your limitations. But I would like you to have an accelerated growth with lasting outcomes. So that's what I do today, and it's been a fantastic journey.

Speaker 1 4:50

That's awesome. And you're walking in your purpose really now.

Speaker 4:53

Absolutely. Absolutely. I think I moved from one purpose to the other because I always tell people purpose evolves with you. And the last eight years, when I was leading social impact across 40 countries, that was truly my purpose. I called it my ikigai because I was doing what I loved. I could see the impact on the society, and I was getting paid for it. Now that is great, isn't it? That's the ideal ikigai. And when I quit that, I needed to find a purpose which is just as calling as the previous one. And hence I'm lucky to have found my purpose twice, and it's an evolved purpose because I believe when you empower women, when women thrive in society, the community thrives, the family thrives. So it is like taking the uh going up Maslow's hierarchy in terms of self-actualization of the society itself.

Speaker 1 5:45

Yes, exactly. So, Padma, since your first appearance here on the show, you delivered a powerful TEDx talk, which I watched and I thought it was powerful. And you called it the hidden cause to fitting in. And I will include a link to her TEDx in the show notes as well. So, what inspired you to finally tell the story on a global stage?

Speaker 6:07

I think many times our voices are silenced for want of referent from your previous organization. You don't want to burn bridges with people, some people even have to sign NDAs that you can't tell your story. But I saw this being repeated constantly where people, when they stand up for what they believe in, stand up to call out iniquities, they are penalized. So when I sat back and thought, how do I create a voice, a platform which does not bind you by NDAs, does not expect political correctness, and lets you challenge the audience? And then Ted stood out. So it's a quite a fascinating journey getting to Ted because when I quit my organization, I was in a state of complete uncertainty. I was in a state of fog. And for about four to five months, I was meandering in terms of should I just apply for the next big organization? I was getting calls to join some good organizations, should I go back to serving the corporate world? But I always saw this as sitting with this big canvas and a brush, but frozen in fear of failure. Because I wanted that whatever I paint on this canvas has to be a masterpiece, has to reflect the number four tech leader in the world and Padmasani and all that credentials that we get so attached to. I wanted to live up to it. But then I had this aha moment after I became an uncertainty expert. Actually, I'm a certified uncertainty expert. We can talk about that a little bit later. And I will just show you this, and it's fascinating. So on October 6th, 2024, just after my birthday, and we had gone away to a nearby place, which is known for its witchcraft, actually, which is fascinating. It had a history of that. And I had this moment of epiphany where I've written down in my journal, which says, light and clear-headed, feeling happy after a long time, feels like a fog has lifted. I was pursuing the wrong thing, tainted by my past, bad experience, wanted to be recognized, awarded, and acknowledged publicly, but that's a wrong priority. I will pursue contentment and I'm sure success will follow. And then I wrote down what I was truly excites me. And what I have written there is inspiring women, supporting education of children, write a book, be a speaker, head an organization. And on June 6th, sorry, October 6th, this was on October 4th, 2024. October 6th, 2025 is when I delivered my TED talk. And somebody actually in the uh or who had invited for TED noticed it, who knew my journey. And now I work with women, I head my own organization, and I became a speaker. So the TED talk was about my awakening, me letting down or breaking away from the shackles of what I've been told I should do, I shouldn't do, what I should say, what I shouldn't say. And I wanted other people to experience that sense of liberation. So that's where the TED talk originated, and that's the reason anybody who hears it, listens to it, relates to it because it comes straight from my heart to theirs.

Speaker 1 9:35

Yes, that was great too. It was great. So in the Ted's hall, you open by saying, I have a superpower, I can be invisible. What was going through your mind when you decided to begin such a vulnerable talk that way? And tell us about the meaning of it.

Speaker 9:51

We all feel very empowered or seen in certain spaces. And we accept that that is enough. For example, if you go into your workplace, you fit into a slot, right? In terms of this is my role, this is my title, this is my responsibilities, people know you for this. I had worked globally, I worked with clients, and I never felt invisible in those rooms because I was a subject matter expert. I had a title with me, and people actually are looking at you, but they're actually looking at your title. But when I stepped away and went for this fantastic leadership program for three days, it was a very diverse group of people spending three days together. And they were from all walks of life, from armed forces, they had from multi-faith organizations, from charities, etc. And those three days, I was so excited for it. But those three days, and we were not introduced by titles, and if even if you put stack of the titles, I wouldn't be anywhere at the top of the pyramid as people would envision. And I felt completely invisible. And it was invisibility in my voice, invisibility in my presence, and that shook me so much, and that destroyed my 20 years of confidence of something is wrong with me. Maybe I'm not speaking properly, I don't fit in here, I need to do something to belong and be accepted in this audience. I needed to become posh, I needed to become elite. All these thoughts came in, and that's when I stepped away. And I didn't want to spoil the suspense of the TED Talk, that I went and invested in a speak coach to change my accent so people would accept me. That was a very hard thing to confess to even myself and forget about speaking in front of everyone that after 25 years I actually did that to myself. But I think we all face this at various points in our life, and we try to change ourselves just so we accept, and it's happening more and more now. I talked about a residential program or a leadership program, but today a person sitting in the couch at home, looking at social media, is actually thinking, gosh, I don't fit into my friends, are meeting up somewhere, I don't belong there, or see this fantastic award ceremony, I'm not there, I don't belong there. And that's becoming more and more in the society. We call it FOMO, but it's actually building up loneliness. Everyone is trying to be somebody else so they can be part just because they want to be part of something, part of a unit. And that is dangerous because it's so easy to polarize you when you just want to be part of something without knowing what is that you want to be part of.

Speaker 1 12:56

Yes, because you can hear from me, I have a southern draw in my voice, like country southern boy. I used to think, man, I don't fit in. I'm just so country, I'm this. And then one day I just embraced myself like this is who I am, this is how I talk, and the rest has been history.

Speaker 13:15

Yeah, that's a powerful story, isn't it? Because you are actually telling people and you're reaching this global audience of 110,000 people who are following you, that it's okay to be you can have an Indian accent, you can have a Scottish accent. If all of us speak a language that connects us, right? And that is humanity. And I recently read somewhere that it is only because of the power of communication, Homo sapiens is the only species who survive. There are so many other species before, along with us, and we are trivializing the power of communication by labeling it with accents and languages. There are people who can so many times have spoken to people without a language, right? We have use sign language, or we just have a very warm moment of hug or hold your hands and tell them how much they mean. So, yeah, you're so true. We do try to change so much of ourselves.

Speaker 1 14:19

Yes, yes. So, Padma, was there a moment during the TEDx preparation process where you realized the message was bigger than just your personal story?

Speaker 14:29

Yes. I think it came up when I was writing the story. So when you apply for TEDx, you only write a pitch. And the pitch was my personal story and why I wanted to tell the story. When I started developing the talk, I realized that the impact of that episode in life actually is much broader. I had the luxury of having that insight and taking back control of my narrative. But if you didn't do that, I was wondering how my life would have played out, how much I would have withdrawn from what I was doing, how I might have even stepped away from my role, and how many people are there out there or experiencing today. And then I started noticing this. I started noticing people introducing themselves with their shorter names, putting up an accent or changing the accent minute they meet somebody else, struggling to fit into clothes that they are not comfortable in. And I started observing and I realized how and they don't notice it. It is just like they flip their personality around when they need to, and it has become their new normal. And that's when I thought this is a message which is much broader. And even the tent organizers really like the term illusion of inclusion in organizations because there's so much talk about inclusion and about bringing people together, but actually it is an illusion until the systemic changes don't come in place. What they're expecting as part of that inclusion is huge change to be included. We have a space, we have created an inclusive space, you just need to fit into it. And I wanted to bring that narrative out.

Speaker 1 16:21

Right. And you had one of the most powerful things you said, and it was belonging is not a favor, it's a fundamental human need. Why do you think so many workplaces still treat belonging, well, treat people and belonging like a bonus instead of a necessity?

Speaker 16:39

Because they don't realize the significance it plays because it doesn't directly impact the bottom line or the top line. That's the only measurable factor, right? Organizations value things that can be measured and reported. Belonging is something they believe cannot be tracked and reported, right? And that is where I actually gave the solution of how you need to measure this. So you do have measures of diverse hiring. Most organizations had it until very recently, where you'll have to report that how many people applied for this and for every application, how many diverse people applied and how many you hired. So that was a metric. But nobody was tracking belonging because when you don't belong, you are actually these people are leaving after a year or two years. And so what was happening is you were reporting that I hired four women, two persons with disabilities, one neurodivergent person. And these six people would have left the organization in a year, and then you again report, we hired 12, but basically you've lost six. So you do measure your attrition, but you do not report attrition by the diversity. Minute you report it, you will realize that you're actually hemorrhaging diverse talent because they don't feel they belong. And I think that was uh I wanted to take away the excuse from organizations that oh, we can't measure and report belonging. But what I wanted to say was you can at least start reporting diverse retention and you will know, and then you deep dive into why such large diverse numbers are leaving the organization. And now, especially when there's so much redundancy going on, this is a good time to measure. This might be an time the organizations, is it equally being handled, or is it more women who are facing redundancy, more people of ethnic minority facing redundancy? No one is reporting that, it's just big numbers, 12,000 laid off, 14,000 laid off. It will be really good if somebody deep dives and sees what is the diversity spread across these layoffs that are happening.

Speaker 1 18:56

Yes. So, Padma, how do people know the difference between healthy growth and losing themselves trying to fit into environments that were never built for them?

Speaker 19:07

I figured out this simple system in my head, which I apply and I help my clients through it. If whenever somebody suggests a change, you create these two columns. One which helps your personal growth, which elevates you as a person, and other that it feels like a changing who you are. So, and if it feels it's more towards the right, which is more changing who you are, you can resist it. But if the system doesn't support that, that is a good call to walk away from such a system and look for places that value you as you are. Because what you would be left with when you who don't have an organization title, when you're not in part of an organization, will be your own identity. But if you've lost it in this whole adapting and changing and belonging and fitting in process, suddenly you lost your identity, and that is the reason it is affecting the mental health of so many people when in this insecure job market. Because people are not just losing jobs, they're losing their identity because they got so deeply tied to it. They say, I changed myself for this. I don't know who I am if I am not a project manager, I don't know who I am if I am not the head of banking and financial services, and that is dangerous for the society itself. So every time you decide, I feel like wearing this to the meeting, but um, but maybe I should wear this because what will other people think? Be brave, make yourself uncomfortable, and wear what you're drawn to. Indra Nui did that. If she went into a first of the interviews in Asari because she did wear a suit and she didn't perform well in the interview because she was just uncomfortable. That's a lovely episode to read about. So be who you are and add on all these skills you need to make yourself valuable as somebody who can add value to the organization, but also who you want to be as a person without these labels.

Speaker 1 21:26

Yeah, and one thing you said that was dangerous is when somebody puts their identity into a company or into a position that they carry every day. That's why I think a lot of people, when they lose a job or get laid off a job, they go do something detrimental to themselves, suicide or whatever the case may be, because that's all they wrapped up in, and that's their identity, is what they do.

Speaker 21:47

Absolutely. And I can relate to some part of that because there are some professions they spend 10, 15 years to then get qualified, like doctors and surgeons, and that's all they know. And it is scary because that my husband is a surgeon and this is a discussion I have with him that you got to have something else as your passion, like surgeon, patient care. Yes, but you can you shift your patient care to something else as well? Because it's worrying when you tie yourself so deeply with your profession. But I understand you've spent 15 years to become a surgeon and that's all you have known. But I think for the rest of us who have traveled through various jobs and professions, etc., got to see that this is like a blip in a lifespan. It is, and you are, it shouldn't be who you are, it should be what you do, right? And you it's something you shed outside the door when you come in. And some cultures it's more deeply entrenched. India, from where I am from, the first question people ask you is what do you do? What's your um they even know what the hierarchy in an organization is. Oh, you are uh associate, but you joined four years back, you didn't get promoted. When do you uh what is your uh next promotion? So you are basically in society, you are measured, accepted, validated by your profession, and hence when you lose that, it completely destabilizes you, and that's something we need to move away from as a society.

Speaker 1 23:28

And you said your accent remained unchanged because it carries your heritage, journey, and strength. Was embracing your authentic self a process of healing?

Speaker 23:39

Yes, absolutely. That attempt to change the accent lasted for a week. So I yeah, I hired this speech coach, and just one session with that person, he said, You're so eloquent, but no, what is that you want me to help you with? I said, No, I need to change my accent. And he said, Why? I said, I want to speak like uh British, I want to be able to use those cool phrases they put in. I want to be able to have that banter and the ease of stating a joke. You know, you know, that is where we struggle. I can always speak eloquently on a topic, but it's a banter I struggle with. And he said, No, you don't have to. And actually, the speech coach actually said, You don't need it, you don't need me. And that was an awakening. And I sat back and I said, I worked with American clients, I've won huge deals, I worked with European clients, I worked within the UK for so many years, and not once have I changed my accent, and they understood me perfectly well, and I could sell million-dollar deals to them. So, what am I doing? So thankfully, I didn't go down that path, and I never changed my accent. Uh, and I'm thankful for that, but that moment saved me. Me diving back into the value I had brought to people before, looking at how I had built my career, my strengths, that awareness I had helped me do that separation, right? This is not personal growth, this is changing me, and I will not do this, and rather I will avoid going into those kind of programs which require me to be trying to fit in. But actually, I did get invited back in there and I went in as a speaker, so and that was a wow moment for me, too, in terms of so they do hear me, I could present myself and get their attention, and it was not through any pitch, they just saw my value on LinkedIn and the work I was doing invited me back, which clearly shows that if you establish yourself and grow as a person, your value elevates and people see you for who you are and the value you bring.

Speaker 1 25:56

Yes, and I believe everybody was put here and they're unique. You know, you have to operate in your own power, in your own way. Because I feel like there's a set of people for P adma there for her to reach, and there's a set of people that's assigned to Reginald out there, also. And that's how we collectively, you know, change the world and things like that. Everybody has their own assignment. And I think being authentic and being your own self is important to walk in that.

Speaker 26:28

Absolutely. I was explaining this with my friend the other day in terms of why should there be so much of competitiveness within a same business, also, because I always refer people across, uh even if I would see them as a competition, because as you said, as Hindu religions, there is dharma. I'm here to service something, and that will come to me and I will go down that path. I don't have to fight, I don't have to elbow people out of my way. If I and I have a coat stuck next to my bed, if you're not doing something that you think you should be doing, believe me, that's not for you to do. So, and that I remind if I say, Oh my god, I lost that opportunity, I should have gone after it, I should have competed more harshly. I remind myself that was not meant for me to do. I my path is somewhere else. And there is room for all of us to be ourselves and draw towards our purpose.

Speaker 1 27:27

Yes, absolutely. So, Padma, how has your journey taught you that purpose sometimes requires discomfort? Or how has your journey taught you that purpose sometimes requires discomfort, resistance, and standing apart from the crowd?

Speaker 27:43

The more difficult one was when I walked away from my organization, the identity I had built for 25 years. And I did that because it didn't align with my values, the way the organization was changing, the leadership was changing, what was expected of me didn't feel aligned to my value. But I was doing something I loved, I had built it from scratch, and it was very painful to walk away from that. And I remember while making the decision, I called my family, I have a 16-year-old and nine-year-old daughters, and I knew the decision I make that day is going to leave a mark on how they deal with difficult decisions in their lives. So they saw me in tears and I asked, I have two options here. One, I just quietly walk away and do as I'm told, and nothing will change. We'll still be well off and we'll get really have a good income. Or second, I stand up to what I believe is not right, and I'll have to leave everything behind and walk away. And instantaneously, my that time 16-year-old said, Mama, you will never be happy if you just stayed quiet and did nothing about it. This is what you are, this is what you have fought for all your life. You will never be happy waking up in the morning, looking at yourself and deciding I'm not going, I did nothing about it. And that's it. I made the decision. So I tell people, it's now it feels like a great story, but it was gut-wrenching, it was painful. As I said, I went through a few months of grieving over it, and but then I tell people there are two options, right? One is pain, I was going through pain, and the other is regret. So if I had not done what I did, I would have carried regret, and regret becomes heavier with time, whereas pain fades with time. So if there is a choice of discomfort of pain versus regret, choose pain because pain fades and regret becomes heavier with life, becomes a baggage you carry. So I think that was where I walked away from one of my purposes with stayed in discomfort, and that gave me my next big purpose in life for other women who face similar challenges of fighting against a system. We're facing this constant exhaustion of trying to fit in and getting stuck, accepting tests for themselves, and now I have that pain has faded away.

Speaker 1 30:25

That was well put. That was so well put. So, Padma, do you believe many people lose themselves chasing acceptance instead of alignment?

Speaker 30:35

Chasing acceptance, did you say?

Speaker 1 30:37

Yeah, acceptance.

Speaker 30:38

Yeah.

Speaker 1 30:38

Instead of alignment.

Speaker 30:40

Oh, yes, yes. I think most people do, because that's human nature. I won't be judgmental about it. Because as human beings, we, as I said, belonging is a fundamental human need. So we would all want to belong. Now, when you don't, when that becomes hard to belong, especially in society today, that's becoming harder, isn't it? So you want to, you will do anything more than for yourself, for your children. So you don't want them to face those hardships. So you think if I change, and there are parents who give very English names to the children so that at least on the phone call, they will not know that they are from a different ethnic minority. And I can see where the parents are coming from. They're like, oh, I had this traditional Indian name, and just by the name, people will reject an application form. But I don't want my children to face that. At least let them get into the interview room. So let me give them a fancy English name. So I think that is if it is not something that we can tell people stop doing it until the system also changes, because it is fundamental for survival, people feel. But in that journey, you need to draw a line. How far down that path would you go that you can't come back, that you've forgotten where you're from, who you are. And for the people whom you changed and adapted and wanted to be accepted, if they reject you suddenly, you're lost. Because now you have lost your identity, you've lost your roots, you don't know where you belong, because the people for whom you changed are not accepting you anymore. So it is a fine balance. You need to adapt to some of the changes that are happening because just for your own safety and psychological safety, physical safety, and really hope that these things change over a period of time, the society stabilizes and we're not so divided. But keep one foot rooted to who you are, and keep your children rooted to who they are, because that's where they struggle. If one of our children, I worry that my child who's born here, she has a deep Indian roots. But when she walks down the street, if somebody calls out a racial slur, she just can't comprehend why, because she feels she belongs here. Whereas me and my husband, we always think we hear it sometimes and we think that's really sad. But I made the choice, I'm here, fine, we brush it off, we don't want to indulge with them, we walk away. But it's not going to be the same for them. This is home, and those are the moments which where you need to remind them that where what the roots are, that they belong to a family, and you have safety here, you have a community of people, that you can be who you are, and that's I think more needed now than before.

Speaker 1 33:52

Yes, it is. So, Padma, I have what I call quick fire questions. So, you ready?

Speaker 33:59

Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 34:01

That's not a right or wrong answer, it's gonna be fun. One word that describes your Ted's experience.

Speaker 34:08

Exhilarating and nerve-wracking. That's two words, but exhilarated at the end, nerve-wracking at the start.

Speaker 1 34:14

Got it. What's one leadership myth you want to destroy?

Speaker 34:19

Uncertainty affects men and women equally is a myth. It doesn't. It affects women more than men.

Speaker 1 34:31

Got it. What does true belonging mean to you in one sentence or more?

Speaker 34:37

I don't have to prepare myself to be there. I can just be.

Speaker 1 34:45

And what's one thing you hope every leader watching your tetheads talk walks away understanding?

Speaker 34:51

You need to create an environment where everyone can thrive. And if you need numbers to drive this sense of belonging in your organization, start reporting on diverse retention.

Speaker 1 35:06

Okay, and what's one message you want every young woman of color to hear today?

Speaker 35:12

Your journey is very different from everyone else's. Where we start, where we go, the sacrifices we do, the choices we make, the things we change, the things we adapt, the things we take silently, all of that makes our journey. So don't compare with anyone else. You are your best role model. Minute you compare with anyone else, we don't know their journey, we don't know the start point. We would come back feeling less about ourselves. So you are your best role model.

Speaker 1 35:55

So, Padma, if someone listening today feels invisible in their workplace, relationships, or life, what encouragement would you give them right now?

Speaker 36:05

Take back all of that narrative. You can from the point where we said, don't worry about what other people think. I'm saying you decide what other people think about you. And that is taking back control of your personal brand. And this is something I work extensively with my clients. I say design, discover, and elevate your brand. Everyone has a brand. Minute people see you, they've decided something about you. So if you think, oh, I don't have a personal brand, you're wrong. So everybody has one, it's just that somebody else has decided for you. You can change that. You can decide how you want to be seen, how people need to perceive you, and you can dictate that. You have the control to flip the narrative.

Speaker 1 36:59

And lastly, Padma, what's next for you? Do you have any new programs, speaking, coaching, or any initiatives people should know about?

Speaker 37:07

Yes, I have a few exciting things coming up. I'm doing three residential retreats. They are based in the UK, but it's a great time to come to UK if you want to. One is in June, other is in October, where I run the entire triple E framework. I think I talked about it in the last podcast, which Ms. Reginald will share with you. And you can check out my website. So these are residential retreats in Fantastic in the Heart of Nature, and you will go through this exploration, elevation, and empowerment and uncertainty reboot. It's a neuroscience-based program. But those who can't can join my virtual program retreat, which is in September. It's all on my website, or you can join on my one-on-one sessions, or you can also be part of a virtual cohort. It's a 12-week program, and you actually have accountability to apply all of these techniques so that you come out with lasting change with your own narrative. So, four options: residential retreat, virtual retreat, one-on-one 12-week program, or a cohort, virtual cohort over 12 weeks. So that's I'm working on a book. So as soon as the book is out, I mean definitely would love for all of you to read it. But yeah, that's for next time. But do listen to my TED Talk.

Speaker 1 38:33

Absolutely. And how can listen to reach you and follow your journey on social media?

Speaker 38:38

On Instagram, I am TransformwithPadma. Same on Facebook. My name as it is on LinkedIn. My website is transformwithpadma.com. So these are the best ways to reach me.

Speaker 1 38:54

There you have it. Padma, thank you so much for coming back on the show. You are doing some remarkable things.

Speaker 39:00

Oh, my pleasure. I love your questions. It really makes me think about what truly matters. Like, you know, there's so much fluff, and then there is the essence. So you do nail that. Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 1 39:13

All right. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks for listening to Real Talk with Reginald D. If you enjoy listening to Real Talk with Reginald D, please rate and review on Apple Podcasts. See you next time.