{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":70.6,"body":"It is word to the third Wednesday my midweek reflections on purpose, life and growth. I'm Toby Brooks, I'm a speaker, author, professor, and forever student. Each week on becoming undone I bring you guests who have dared bravely, brisk mightily, and grown relentlessly. High achievers who have transformed from falling apart to falling into place. But every third episode, it's my turn to reflect, refine, and reprocess on word to the third Wednesday. This week we were fortunate enough to have not one but two guests who have made their mark in the performing arts. For Dave Holmes, a four-year stint as an MTV VJ has turned into a successful career as an actor, comedian, author, and most recently podcaster. If you haven't listened to this ten-part waiting for impact show on exactly right media, you are missing out. It's informative and entertaining, and it actually was a critical part of my motivation to do this show."},{"startTime":70.6,"endTime":135.6,"body":"My second guest, Jonathan Pruje, is a world-class performer who's taken stages and captivated audiences around the world in productions that include choir, musical theater, and vocal performance. The Overcame tremendous adversity, most recently from the pandemic that shut down his show for months, and resulted in him being furloughed and forced to make ends meet, picking up a job at a local supermarket. Both have had to deal with rejection, and rejections nasty side-kicks self-doubt along the way. For Dave, first it was a tough college experience where sexual orientation became an open discussion at an impromptu dorm residence meeting. Later it was his near-miss in MTV's Want to Be a VJ competition where he lost out in a popularity contest to another competitor who didn't come close to Dave's encyclopedic knowledge of 80s music and pop culture. For Jonathan, a surprisingly controversial decision regarding his chosen professor for grad school ultimately led to an inexplicable failing grade for his culminating master's performance, resulting in him having a regroup, preparing entirely new performance, and graduate a semester later."},{"startTime":135.6,"endTime":195.9,"body":"Likewise, COVID-19 threw a massive wrench into a professional career that had been sailing along wonderfully, not only threatening his family's financial security, but thrusting him into a dark season of depression. Coupled with other horrible happenings like the loss of his mom, 2020 proved to be a year he'd just assumed forget. What stood out to me in talking with both of these wonderful guests was that they were careful to not ascribe blame to anyone or anything as they described their less than ideal situations. For Dave, he was even so bold as to specifically point out that his obstacles were almost exclusively of his creation. And for Jonathan, while 2020 certainly proved to be the most difficult year of his life, he recognized that it served an important purpose in putting him back on the right track in his relationship with God and redirecting him toward building his faith again. To me, this unabashed and unapologetic ownership of the bad, without completely piling on and destroying themselves with negative self-talk, was inspiring."},{"startTime":195.9,"endTime":256.8,"body":"For me, far too often I have either sidestepped my role and looked for the person or the circumstance I could blame for my poor outcome. Or I took the role of the martyr, taking responsibility while also verbally abusing myself in the process. You know, there's a fine line between expecting our decisions and behaviors to be sound and demanding perfection. If we can't seem to muster any grace for ourselves, we become victims of our own abuse. The gashes on our backs and the scars in our minds remain long after, but it was us who cracked the whip the whole time. I'm learning that tries I might not simply can't be perfect. I am a long recovering perfectionist, and at best I can usually approach pretty good. Admitting that and giving myself some credit for the effort is an important first step. Because if I expect perfection, I will absolutely be disappointed in myself. And when I'm disappointed in myself, it isn't hard to just throw my hands up and discuss and quit. You know, I expect best effort from myself."},{"startTime":256.8,"endTime":306.0,"body":"I expect commitment. These are attainable. These are possible. Look perfection. Not going to happen. Likewise, for both Dave and Jonathan, their undone's went beyond self. Dave went from an unhealthy butt of joke, slateness career at MTV in the early 2000s to a competitive triathlete, marathoner, and crossfitter today. Jonathan's goals for the future involve sending his two beautiful daughters to college and also seeing them come to Christ before they leave home. A model of self-care and other centered compassion is a powerful reminder to me to do what I need to do, imperfectly as it may be, to become the best version of me I can, also loving and serving my family audaciously in the process. I have failed more times than I can count, but the process of becoming undone isn't about the knockdown."},{"startTime":306.0,"endTime":363.7,"body":"It's about to get up. It's time for this week's bricks and buckets my take on the happenings of my week gone by. This week's brick has been my tech glitches. I am now almost a month in on the show, and I've come a long way with the production quality of what it is and trying to do. In the past seven days, I've added a new audio recorder, two new mics, a new interview software, but none of it is dialed in just yet. I'm hoping that by the end of the next month things will settle into a nice, predictable workflow and a professional sound and a polished feel emerge, but in the meantime, things might be a little ragged around the edges. I'm pretty sick with me as I get better at this thing. My bucket this week was for sure the unexpected snow day my family and I enjoyed yesterday. We got five inches here in Lubbock, which shut down everything. Schools were closed, everyone was off, so we celebrated by playing together in the snow and enjoying one of those companies."},{"startTime":363.7,"endTime":413.7,"body":"I wanted us to be present for each other. With a daughter who's a sophomore in college and a son who's a junior in high school, coupled with the fact that we have literally gone multiple years without a snow day sometimes here in West Texas in the past, I know that any day like that that we get might just be the last one we can enjoy together. I didn't want to miss it. For the young parents out there, the firsts are easy. You know when they happen. The first word, the first step, the first date. Those are so easy to see and commemorate, but it's the last that will destroy you. You never know when your family's last snow day together is going to be. We played, we threw snowballs, we built a big snowman's head, we made snow cream, we had hot chocolate, sat by the fire, my wife Christy, daughter Brinnett and son Tay were all here and we even got to welcome Tay's girlfriend Carly on the fun. So if you're listening, how you don't Carly?"},{"startTime":413.7,"endTime":486.0,"body":"It is a day this man won't ever forget. What about you? What are you working on or waiting for? And what are you doing in the meantime to get better every day? I'd love to hear about it. SirFon over to undunpodcast.com and drop me a note. I'm Toby Brooks and this has been Word to the Third. Becoming undone is a nitri-hype creative production written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for becoming undone, contact me at undunpodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram and link them at becoming undone pod. And follow me at the TobyJ Brooks. Listen, subscribe and leave us a review at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time, everybody, keep getting better."}]}