{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":4.0,"body":"I would say Darren McBee is a man who loves God with all his heart,"},{"startTime":4.0,"endTime":7.6,"body":"and I relentlessly follow him through prayer, reading my Bible,"},{"startTime":7.6,"endTime":11.2,"body":"and just asking God to make me the best man that I can be,"},{"startTime":11.2,"endTime":15.04,"body":"so that I can glorify him, and then be an encouragement to as many people as possible,"},{"startTime":15.04,"endTime":19.2,"body":"because I know so many people in this world today are suffering, as you know,"},{"startTime":19.2,"endTime":23.76,"body":"and they can't find their way out of what seems to be a really dark, deep pit of despair,"},{"startTime":23.76,"endTime":27.68,"body":"because of all the crazy things that are happening in the world right now."},{"startTime":27.68,"endTime":33.68,"body":"So my place right now is to try and inspire, encourage, and try and let people know that"},{"startTime":33.68,"endTime":37.36,"body":"there are still heroes in this world that they can look up to, like people you've had"},{"startTime":37.36,"endTime":44.0,"body":"on this show, and hopefully, Lord willing, me."},{"startTime":44.0,"endTime":48.8,"body":"Hey, it's another great day to get better."},{"startTime":48.8,"endTime":53.76,"body":"Welcome to yet another episode of Becoming Undone, the podcast for those who dare bravely,"},{"startTime":53.76,"endTime":55.56,"body":"risk mightily, and grow relentlessly."},{"startTime":55.56,"endTime":60.2,"body":"Join me, Toby Brooks, as I invite a new guest each week to examine how high achievers can"},{"startTime":60.2,"endTime":64.2,"body":"transform from falling apart to falling into place."},{"startTime":64.2,"endTime":68.84,"body":"For Riverside, California's Darren McBee, it was an unlikely journey from a skinny kid"},{"startTime":68.84,"endTime":76.04,"body":"just trying to make his high school baseball team to becoming a world-ranked racquetball player. A self-described late bloomer, Darren"},{"startTime":76.04,"endTime":79.8,"body":"eventually discovered the weight room and through years of disciplined training"},{"startTime":79.8,"endTime":83.8,"body":"and meal planning he had transformed himself into what he'd later described"},{"startTime":83.8,"endTime":89.8,"body":"as 220 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal. One day while working out he"},{"startTime":89.8,"endTime":93.96,"body":"happened upon a casting call in a trade magazine for an upstart new show called"},{"startTime":93.96,"endTime":98.0,"body":"American Gladiators. He knew right away that he wanted in."},{"startTime":98.0,"endTime":104.0,"body":"He nailed the tryout and audition and became his alter ego, Malibu, a ripped surfer dude"},{"startTime":104.0,"endTime":111.0,"body":"with huge 80s hair and one of the original six larger than life, real life superheroes"},{"startTime":111.0,"endTime":115.0,"body":"who would soon become cultural icons for an entire generation."},{"startTime":115.0,"endTime":117.0,"body":"My generation."},{"startTime":117.0,"endTime":125.4,"body":"Although the outside world the gladiators were indestructible warriors with bulging muscles and huge personalities. In reality, they were still"},{"startTime":125.4,"endTime":130.84,"body":"just people. Athletic and fit for sure, but far from indestructible. After season"},{"startTime":130.84,"endTime":134.4,"body":"one of Gladiators, Darren went on to find success in Hollywood as an actor and a"},{"startTime":134.4,"endTime":139.4,"body":"stuntman. But tragedy and loss found him, and eventually he turned to prescription"},{"startTime":139.4,"endTime":144.2,"body":"painkillers to try and cope. Following a devastating hip injury, he realized he"},{"startTime":144.2,"endTime":148.96,"body":"needed help. And between his faith in God and several trips through dependency and addiction"},{"startTime":148.96,"endTime":155.2,"body":"rehab, he finally found freedom. Listen in as Darren Malibu McBee shares his incredible"},{"startTime":155.2,"endTime":159.16,"body":"story of faith over failure in episode 49, Hero."},{"startTime":159.16,"endTime":165.44,"body":"Folks, we got a real treat for the Gen Xers, especially among us. I grew up on a steady"},{"startTime":165.44,"endTime":173.8,"body":"diet of American Gladiators and one of my favorites was always Malibu, so we are blessed to have the one and only Darren Malibu McBee"},{"startTime":173.8,"endTime":178.44,"body":"today. Thanks for joining us Darren. Hey Malibu's in the house with you Toby. I"},{"startTime":178.44,"endTime":181.96,"body":"can hardly wait to get this rocking and rolling man. Thanks so much for having me"},{"startTime":181.96,"endTime":186.44,"body":"on your podcast. So cool. So if you haven't seen the documentary, we'll talk"},{"startTime":186.44,"endTime":190.2,"body":"about that, but this is about more than American Gladiators. Darren has an"},{"startTime":190.2,"endTime":197.6,"body":"incredible story of resilience and overcoming things that we wouldn't have chosen in our lives."},{"startTime":197.6,"endTime":200.6,"body":"And I just found so much inspiration from what I've heard."},{"startTime":200.6,"endTime":202.4,"body":"So I'm really looking forward to this."},{"startTime":202.4,"endTime":206.2,"body":"And really, you straddle a lot of the things that show what we've talked about."},{"startTime":206.2,"endTime":209.76,"body":"Athletes, we've talked about entertainers, we've talked about entrepreneurs"},{"startTime":209.76,"endTime":217.28,"body":"and how this notion of overcoming things in our path is kind of universal."},{"startTime":217.28,"endTime":222.16,"body":"And our identity can be taken from us, but that doesn't mean that our life has to be over."},{"startTime":222.16,"endTime":225.0,"body":"So I always start at the beginning wherever that was for you."},{"startTime":225.0,"endTime":232.38,"body":"So, you know for me, I've always been a spiritual person. I've been a Christian since I was 13 years old and"},{"startTime":232.38,"endTime":234.06,"body":"I've always"},{"startTime":234.06,"endTime":241.92,"body":"wanted to live my life according to the dictates of God's Word instead of the dictates of what the world would have to say."},{"startTime":241.92,"endTime":246.32,"body":"And a lot of times that's put me as an outcast, so to speak, but to me, there's"},{"startTime":246.32,"endTime":247.72,"body":"no other way to live my life."},{"startTime":247.72,"endTime":249.84,"body":"And God has taken me on quite a journey."},{"startTime":249.84,"endTime":255.44,"body":"So I would say Darren McBee is a man who, uh, who loves God with all his heart."},{"startTime":255.44,"endTime":261.28,"body":"And I, uh, relentlessly follow him and try and improve myself daily through"},{"startTime":261.28,"endTime":267.5,"body":"a prayer, reading my Bible and just asking God to make me the best man that I can be"},{"startTime":267.5,"endTime":270.0,"body":"so that I can glorify him and then be an encouragement"},{"startTime":270.0,"endTime":273.04,"body":"to as many people as possible because I know so many people"},{"startTime":273.04,"endTime":276.1,"body":"in this world today are suffering, as you know,"},{"startTime":276.1,"endTime":278.28,"body":"and they can't find their way out of what seems"},{"startTime":278.28,"endTime":281.24,"body":"to be a really dark, deep pit of despair"},{"startTime":281.24,"endTime":282.94,"body":"because of all the crazy things that are happening"},{"startTime":282.94,"endTime":283.78,"body":"in the world right now."},{"startTime":283.78,"endTime":286.96,"body":"So my place right now is to try and inspire,"},{"startTime":286.96,"endTime":291.04,"body":"encourage, and try and let people know that there are still heroes"},{"startTime":291.04,"endTime":293.54,"body":"in this world that they can look up to like you"},{"startTime":293.54,"endTime":295.92,"body":"and I'm sure a lot of people you've had on this show"},{"startTime":295.92,"endTime":297.48,"body":"and hopefully, Lord willing, me."},{"startTime":297.48,"endTime":298.96,"body":"Now, I'll go ahead and point out to you,"},{"startTime":298.96,"endTime":300.46,"body":"my faithful friends and listeners,"},{"startTime":300.46,"endTime":304.32,"body":"that Malibu just referred to me as a hero."},{"startTime":304.32,"endTime":306.72,"body":"Now, I was a 14-year-old when American Gladiators"},{"startTime":306.72,"endTime":308.12,"body":"first hit the airwaves."},{"startTime":308.12,"endTime":311.44,"body":"I was in eighth grade, had a ridiculous spiked haircut,"},{"startTime":311.44,"endTime":316.74,"body":"spindly little arms, and dreams of athletic glory."},{"startTime":316.74,"endTime":320.66,"body":"Seeing those athletes in their red, white, and blue spandex get-ups with their rippling"},{"startTime":320.66,"endTime":326.02,"body":"muscles and their ability to dominate any physical competition, I was in awe."},{"startTime":326.02,"endTime":329.68,"body":"My high school didn't even have a weight room, but my dad had bought me a Walmart special"},{"startTime":329.68,"endTime":334.22,"body":"Joe Weider weight bench, complete with the concrete and plastic weights."},{"startTime":334.22,"endTime":339.0,"body":"I had no idea what I was doing, but I knew what I wanted to look like when I got done."},{"startTime":339.0,"endTime":341.0,"body":"I wanted to look like a gladiator."},{"startTime":341.0,"endTime":346.0,"body":"To hear Malibu refer to me as a hero, well, that's otherworldly."},{"startTime":346.0,"endTime":351.0,"body":"Now I get it, we've never met. He's never seen me try and bench press three plates or sprint 40 yards."},{"startTime":351.0,"endTime":354.0,"body":"But it's part and parcel of the man Darren is."},{"startTime":354.0,"endTime":357.0,"body":"He's an encourager. And he isn't just blowing smoke."},{"startTime":357.0,"endTime":362.0,"body":"He's the kind of person you always leave feeling better than when you first saw him."},{"startTime":362.0,"endTime":365.0,"body":"Like a warm summer day in Malibu."},{"startTime":365.0,"endTime":368.0,"body":"I remember watching the show and I knew in that moment"},{"startTime":368.0,"endTime":371.0,"body":"like I'm going to reach out to this guy, I would love to have him on."},{"startTime":371.0,"endTime":374.0,"body":"You talked about your identity early on, being tied to sport"},{"startTime":374.0,"endTime":378.0,"body":"and how your relationship with your dad was really kind of the impetus"},{"startTime":378.0,"endTime":382.0,"body":"behind pursuing athletics and ultimately that led to a career"},{"startTime":382.0,"endTime":386.84,"body":"in entertainment and kind of athletic entertainment at that."},{"startTime":386.84,"endTime":391.0,"body":"So talk to me a little bit about that upbringing and the role that sport played"},{"startTime":391.0,"endTime":393.0,"body":"in your identity. Sure."},{"startTime":393.0,"endTime":395.96,"body":"I'll start with my father because he was my hero growing up."},{"startTime":395.96,"endTime":397.64,"body":"I mean, six foot four."},{"startTime":397.64,"endTime":401.0,"body":"He was destined to be a pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers."},{"startTime":401.0,"endTime":402.84,"body":"But fortunately, he got injured badly,"},{"startTime":402.84,"endTime":404.84,"body":"hurt his shoulder when he went into the Marine Corps."},{"startTime":404.84,"endTime":407.96,"body":"And when he came out, he could not throw the heat like he did going in."},{"startTime":407.96,"endTime":412.26,"body":"He had a ninety five mile an hour fastball in high school,"},{"startTime":412.26,"endTime":415.52,"body":"so they probably would have brought that up to who knows,"},{"startTime":415.52,"endTime":418.08,"body":"you know, how much in the pros, but anyways,"},{"startTime":418.08,"endTime":420.4,"body":"turned around and became a success in business"},{"startTime":420.4,"endTime":422.58,"body":"and always was there for me."},{"startTime":422.58,"endTime":425.04,"body":"He was the kind of dad that always put his arms around me."},{"startTime":425.04,"endTime":426.6,"body":"He told me he loved me."},{"startTime":426.6,"endTime":428.52,"body":"He hugged me goodnight, kissed me goodnight,"},{"startTime":428.52,"endTime":431.66,"body":"and he was always there for me during my games,"},{"startTime":431.66,"endTime":433.72,"body":"my baseball games, and was an encouragement"},{"startTime":433.72,"endTime":435.02,"body":"throughout my lifetime."},{"startTime":435.02,"endTime":437.92,"body":"So that was a big inspiration for me growing up"},{"startTime":437.92,"endTime":438.88,"body":"in a lot of ways."},{"startTime":438.88,"endTime":441.64,"body":"And so I got involved in a sport that he introduced me to"},{"startTime":441.64,"endTime":444.76,"body":"called racquetball, which was huge in the 70s and the 80s."},{"startTime":444.76,"endTime":447.12,"body":"And I just took to it like a fish in water."},{"startTime":447.12,"endTime":448.1,"body":"And the next thing you know,"},{"startTime":448.1,"endTime":450.44,"body":"I was one of the top 10 players in the world"},{"startTime":450.44,"endTime":451.48,"body":"and just loving it."},{"startTime":451.48,"endTime":454.24,"body":"And so that's kind of how it started with me"},{"startTime":454.24,"endTime":455.82,"body":"was the whole racquetball thing."},{"startTime":455.82,"endTime":457.96,"body":"And then I found such a love for sports,"},{"startTime":457.96,"endTime":460.22,"body":"played baseball of course in school,"},{"startTime":460.22,"endTime":461.64,"body":"but to be honest with you Toby,"},{"startTime":461.64,"endTime":465.76,"body":"I was a really skinny, scrawny little kid in high school."},{"startTime":465.76,"endTime":467.36,"body":"So I really didn't mature"},{"startTime":467.36,"endTime":469.04,"body":"until I became a senior in high school."},{"startTime":469.04,"endTime":471.56,"body":"So nobody was really taking a serious look at me"},{"startTime":471.56,"endTime":473.28,"body":"from a coaching standpoint,"},{"startTime":473.28,"endTime":475.32,"body":"even though I could go toe to toe"},{"startTime":475.32,"endTime":477.46,"body":"with the best of their ballplayers out there."},{"startTime":477.46,"endTime":479.12,"body":"So I kind of got looked over"},{"startTime":479.12,"endTime":481.32,"body":"and that was the point in my life where I decided,"},{"startTime":481.32,"endTime":484.56,"body":"okay, I can either give up and quit or I can just push forward and be"},{"startTime":484.56,"endTime":491.52,"body":"the best you know athlete I can be and my dad was always there helping me out. Yeah so for our"},{"startTime":491.52,"endTime":496.08,"body":"listeners that that are familiar with your work on American Gladiators the thought of Malibu being a"},{"startTime":496.08,"endTime":503.04,"body":"scrawny high school athlete is is surprising so talk me through how you transformed from that to"},{"startTime":503.04,"endTime":510.32,"body":"what we saw on the show. The Gladiators were characterized as kind of these superhuman athletes-athlete"},{"startTime":510.32,"endTime":513.08,"body":"and certainly you had that look and you performed like that."},{"startTime":513.08,"endTime":515.28,"body":"So how do you get from there to there?"},{"startTime":515.28,"endTime":516.28,"body":"That's a great question."},{"startTime":516.28,"endTime":518.64,"body":"Well, of course, a lot of determination."},{"startTime":518.64,"endTime":521.16,"body":"When I got out of high school, I always felt insecure."},{"startTime":521.16,"endTime":524.64,"body":"I was bullied in high school, as a lot of young people are."},{"startTime":524.64,"endTime":528.28,"body":"And so I had an insecurity complex and I thought, well, what can I do?"},{"startTime":528.28,"endTime":531.0,"body":"Instead of sitting around and complaining and feeling sorry for myself,"},{"startTime":531.0,"endTime":532.44,"body":"I said, I'm gonna get to the gym"},{"startTime":532.44,"endTime":534.56,"body":"and I'm gonna see if I can build my body"},{"startTime":534.56,"endTime":536.2,"body":"into something fantastic."},{"startTime":536.2,"endTime":538.32,"body":"And of course, I never knew it would turn out"},{"startTime":538.32,"endTime":541.76,"body":"to be the way it did, but as God would have it,"},{"startTime":541.76,"endTime":543.52,"body":"I just happened to have really good genetics,"},{"startTime":543.52,"endTime":546.4,"body":"not to be super big, but to be able to put on a physique"},{"startTime":546.4,"endTime":549.72,"body":"that I felt like really kind of like a cartoon character."},{"startTime":549.72,"endTime":552.2,"body":"One of these guys you see in these movies,"},{"startTime":552.2,"endTime":553.68,"body":"these superhero movies and stuff,"},{"startTime":553.68,"endTime":555.64,"body":"and that's kind of how I wanted to fashion myself after."},{"startTime":555.64,"endTime":558.82,"body":"And so I spent a good seven years in the gym,"},{"startTime":558.82,"endTime":561.74,"body":"training hard, you know, four to six hours a day,"},{"startTime":561.74,"endTime":563.78,"body":"every day, relentlessly eating well,"},{"startTime":563.78,"endTime":564.96,"body":"trying to get enough rest."},{"startTime":564.96,"endTime":566.64,"body":"And before you knew it, I mean,"},{"startTime":566.64,"endTime":570.72,"body":"I started really putting on some size and muscle."},{"startTime":570.72,"endTime":573.2,"body":"The next thing you know, I saw this ad for the show"},{"startTime":573.2,"endTime":575.32,"body":"called American Gladiators in a trade magazine."},{"startTime":575.32,"endTime":577.16,"body":"I was riding a life cycle and I said,"},{"startTime":577.16,"endTime":578.4,"body":"well, I got to try out for this."},{"startTime":578.4,"endTime":579.88,"body":"And the next day I tried out."},{"startTime":579.88,"endTime":583.84,"body":"It was a obstacle course that I ran and aced the obstacle course."},{"startTime":583.84,"endTime":585.6,"body":"And they had to do push ups and sit ups."},{"startTime":585.6,"endTime":588.24,"body":"And I think I did like 83 sit ups in 60 seconds."},{"startTime":588.24,"endTime":589.56,"body":"So I was smoking that."},{"startTime":589.56,"endTime":592.52,"body":"And then and then from there, I did the the oral audition."},{"startTime":592.52,"endTime":595.68,"body":"And the funny thing was that they originally wanted to call me Domino,"},{"startTime":595.68,"endTime":597.56,"body":"like Domino's pizza."},{"startTime":597.56,"endTime":600.8,"body":"And I remember jumping up on the desk in front of all these producers"},{"startTime":600.8,"endTime":604.84,"body":"and directors, and I cleared the desk off that was across from them"},{"startTime":604.84,"endTime":605.68,"body":"and I sat on it and I said,"},{"startTime":605.68,"endTime":610.0,"body":"bro, my name isn't Domino, that's a pizza dude, I'm Malibu."},{"startTime":610.0,"endTime":612.86,"body":"So from then on, Malibu was born."},{"startTime":612.86,"endTime":615.54,"body":"This is Malibu, the cool laid back surfer."},{"startTime":615.54,"endTime":617.9,"body":"You're never gonna defeat 220 pounds"},{"startTime":617.9,"endTime":619.78,"body":"of twisted steel and sex appeal."},{"startTime":619.78,"endTime":622.38,"body":"That's hilarious because it's like an alter ego"},{"startTime":622.38,"endTime":629.7,"body":"hearing your story and not that Malibu was this,"},{"startTime":629.7,"endTime":632.4,"body":"you were never like a wrestling bad guy by any stretch."},{"startTime":632.4,"endTime":634.38,"body":"You were always kind of that surfer dude,"},{"startTime":634.38,"endTime":636.04,"body":"but hearing your story,"},{"startTime":636.04,"endTime":638.48,"body":"and it certainly was a role you played,"},{"startTime":638.48,"endTime":640.24,"body":"but it was a physical role you played."},{"startTime":640.24,"endTime":644.08,"body":"I mean, you couldn't just pretend to be this competitor."},{"startTime":644.08,"endTime":646.48,"body":"Your exploits were put on display"},{"startTime":646.48,"endTime":647.36,"body":"for all the world to see."},{"startTime":647.36,"endTime":649.88,"body":"And the thing I was really impressed by,"},{"startTime":649.88,"endTime":653.72,"body":"and as an athletic trainer working with sports teams throughout"},{"startTime":653.72,"endTime":658.24,"body":"the years, you're an athlete and it's almost the equivalent of you're playing multiple"},{"startTime":658.24,"endTime":662.84,"body":"games per day, day after day after day."},{"startTime":662.84,"endTime":669.04,"body":"So talk me through the physical toll that the show took on you and your colleagues as"},{"startTime":669.04,"endTime":673.16,"body":"you continue to compete and the show continued to grow in popularity."},{"startTime":673.16,"endTime":677.52,"body":"Yeah, you touched on something that was really very true."},{"startTime":677.52,"endTime":678.8,"body":"What a lot of people didn't realize,"},{"startTime":678.8,"endTime":679.64,"body":"because they always say,"},{"startTime":679.64,"endTime":681.44,"body":"well, you guys are going against these smaller contenders."},{"startTime":681.44,"endTime":684.48,"body":"Well, first of all, the contenders were vetted out"},{"startTime":684.48,"endTime":687.68,"body":"against hundreds and hundreds of other contenders."},{"startTime":687.68,"endTime":689.54,"body":"And so these guys were the best of the best."},{"startTime":689.54,"endTime":692.94,"body":"A lot of them were ex-pro athletes or college athletes,"},{"startTime":692.94,"endTime":695.0,"body":"and they're in great shape, number one."},{"startTime":695.0,"endTime":702.72,"body":"Number two, we would play like five or six games of Powerball in a day against a new fresh contender every single time"},{"startTime":702.72,"endTime":707.76,"body":"So what people didn't understand was that I'd I'd play five games of Powerball by the fifth game"},{"startTime":707.76,"endTime":710.4,"body":"We're just dog tired and beat up from these guys"},{"startTime":710.4,"endTime":713.94,"body":"And that went on for three weeks straight as we did 13 episodes"},{"startTime":713.94,"endTime":719.14,"body":"So, you know the toll of the injuries just started cranking up and mounting up and of course"},{"startTime":719.14,"endTime":722.4,"body":"You probably saw the wicked hit I took."},{"startTime":722.4,"endTime":726.52,"body":"Welcome back to Universal Studios Hollywood and the American Gladiators."},{"startTime":726.52,"endTime":731.28,"body":"Now, last time we saw our gladiator Malibu, he was flying through the air"},{"startTime":731.28,"endTime":735.12,"body":"from a tremendous kick delivered by Brian Hudson."},{"startTime":735.12,"endTime":738.76,"body":"And the last time he landed, we weren't sure where he wound up."},{"startTime":738.76,"endTime":748.16,"body":"That was the literally the first day that I was filming American Gladiators"},{"startTime":748.16,"endTime":749.84,"body":"that's on that human cannibal."},{"startTime":749.84,"endTime":752.28,"body":"And this guy came swinging down and hit me"},{"startTime":752.28,"endTime":754.56,"body":"with the force of, they say, Harley Davidson"},{"startTime":754.56,"endTime":756.48,"body":"driving about 10 miles an hour."},{"startTime":756.48,"endTime":759.92,"body":"And I literally launched off the back of that pad."},{"startTime":759.92,"endTime":762.44,"body":"And when I hit the pads underneath me,"},{"startTime":762.44,"endTime":765.32,"body":"my left knee came over, hit me right in the face,"},{"startTime":765.32,"endTime":768.76,"body":"or in the forehead, actually, split my forehead open"},{"startTime":768.76,"endTime":770.72,"body":"where I had to get plastic surgery."},{"startTime":770.72,"endTime":773.84,"body":"I think it was like 24 stitches, inner and outer."},{"startTime":773.84,"endTime":776.28,"body":"So to stitch that up, it was so bad."},{"startTime":776.28,"endTime":779.44,"body":"But also I had a major, major concussion"},{"startTime":779.44,"endTime":781.8,"body":"and the doctors, two of them, emergency room doctor"},{"startTime":781.8,"endTime":783.12,"body":"and the plastic surgeon kept saying,"},{"startTime":783.12,"endTime":785.74,"body":"hey, listen, Darren, you go back to work"},{"startTime":785.74,"endTime":788.44,"body":"and you get hit like that or close to that again,"},{"startTime":788.44,"endTime":790.96,"body":"you could spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair"},{"startTime":790.96,"endTime":796.0,"body":"or worse because this is a really bad severe concussion."},{"startTime":796.0,"endTime":799.0,"body":"Hey Malibu, after you got drilled by that human cannonball,"},{"startTime":799.0,"endTime":802.5,"body":"I thought, hey, there is no way this guy is going to live to play another day."},{"startTime":802.5,"endTime":805.5,"body":"You're alive. You're well. What happened? Did you go to the hospital?"},{"startTime":805.5,"endTime":807.5,"body":"Did you get x-rays?"},{"startTime":807.5,"endTime":809.5,"body":"Well, dude, it's like this."},{"startTime":809.5,"endTime":814.5,"body":"I saw this guy coming and I took the most excellent hit of my life."},{"startTime":814.5,"endTime":820.96,"body":"The next thing I knew, I was on the beach, taking in some cosmic rays getting healed by Mother Nature"},{"startTime":820.96,"endTime":827.68,"body":"Taking a little brew ski holding on a beautiful, babe, and I'm fine today, so no hospital. No doctors just Mother Nature"},{"startTime":827.68,"endTime":830.76,"body":"Oh, I'm a child of Mother Nature. What do you expect?"},{"startTime":830.76,"endTime":832.36,"body":"sweet"},{"startTime":832.36,"endTime":835.24,"body":"You know me. I just never say never"},{"startTime":835.24,"endTime":843.2,"body":"I just begged these guys to let me go back to work and the next thing you know is back up there again, getting knocked off that human cannibal again."},{"startTime":843.2,"endTime":847.52,"body":"But I had a very, very big respect for the games after that, let's put it that way."},{"startTime":847.52,"endTime":851.76,"body":"And much like a professional athlete, you're always concerned that there's somebody waiting"},{"startTime":851.76,"endTime":853.44,"body":"in the wings to take your spot."},{"startTime":853.44,"endTime":858.04,"body":"Your performance today determines whether or not you come back tomorrow in some instances."},{"startTime":858.04,"endTime":862.96,"body":"And so that can create a really challenging environment for you mentally."},{"startTime":862.96,"endTime":868.56,"body":"And so I'm sure the temptation, you talk about it in the show how you've had to overcome addiction and"},{"startTime":868.56,"endTime":874.56,"body":"painkillers. We know opioid addiction is a credible problem for competitive athletes."},{"startTime":874.56,"endTime":878.32,"body":"So talk me through how that started and ultimately how you overcame that."},{"startTime":878.32,"endTime":882.4,"body":"Sure. I really appreciate you asking this question. The reality was, you know,"},{"startTime":882.4,"endTime":887.6,"body":"after I left the Gladiators, I was doing stunt work and movie, big movies. I've worked on two"},{"startTime":887.6,"endTime":891.58,"body":"of the big Batman movies, Mortal Kombat Annihilation."},{"startTime":891.58,"endTime":893.78,"body":"I've done shows like Walker, Texas Ranger,"},{"startTime":893.78,"endTime":895.74,"body":"and a bunch of physical roles."},{"startTime":895.74,"endTime":897.86,"body":"So I did a lot of action movies"},{"startTime":897.86,"endTime":900.34,"body":"and got injured throughout my life."},{"startTime":900.34,"endTime":904.1,"body":"I had never taken a painkiller and I never drank alcohol,"},{"startTime":904.1,"endTime":905.9,"body":"never smoked a cigarette, never smoked pot,"},{"startTime":905.9,"endTime":908.06,"body":"never drank a beer in my whole life"},{"startTime":908.06,"endTime":910.86,"body":"going up until I was 45 years old"},{"startTime":910.86,"endTime":913.16,"body":"and I kept getting these injury after injury."},{"startTime":913.16,"endTime":918.4,"body":"Well, I got this last injury doing a stunt job where I literally crushed my"},{"startTime":918.4,"endTime":925.28,"body":"hip. I jumped into a room and my femur bone just jacked up into my hip socket and obliterated it."},{"startTime":925.28,"endTime":930.8,"body":"And the pain was excruciating. I couldn't step into a shower, but you know, that wasn't the"},{"startTime":930.8,"endTime":935.92,"body":"thing that got me taking the painkiller so much as what had happened in my life prior to that."},{"startTime":935.92,"endTime":941.68,"body":"I had a very bad tragedy where I lost my young wife when our kids were just two and five."},{"startTime":941.68,"endTime":946.0,"body":"She had a heart attack and died, which was devastating to me. And about three years after"},{"startTime":946.0,"endTime":951.52,"body":"that, I went to visit my mom and I found her on the floor dead from a heart attack. So I was"},{"startTime":951.52,"endTime":958.24,"body":"suffering a lot of extreme emotional pain as well as the horrible physical pain I was in. And I'd"},{"startTime":958.24,"endTime":962.5,"body":"finally seen this last surgeon and he said, why don't you try this wonder drug"},{"startTime":962.5,"endTime":963.9,"body":"called Oxycontin?"},{"startTime":963.9,"endTime":966.34,"body":"And I said, doc, I don't do drugs"},{"startTime":966.34,"endTime":967.5,"body":"and I really don't do this."},{"startTime":967.5,"endTime":970.3,"body":"And he said, listen, Darren, it's not addicting."},{"startTime":970.3,"endTime":972.46,"body":"And he said, you may become dependent on it."},{"startTime":972.46,"endTime":974.62,"body":"And I said, doc, that sounds an awful lot"},{"startTime":974.62,"endTime":975.46,"body":"like addicting to me."},{"startTime":975.46,"endTime":978.42,"body":"And he says, no, no, if you've never used drugs before,"},{"startTime":978.42,"endTime":980.08,"body":"then you'll just get right off of this drug."},{"startTime":980.08,"endTime":983.54,"body":"And to be honest with you, I just gave in"},{"startTime":983.54,"endTime":988.92,"body":"in a lot of ways because I was emotionally beat up, I was physically beat up and that's a bad,"},{"startTime":988.92,"endTime":991.44,"body":"bad time to make a decision to take a drug like that."},{"startTime":991.44,"endTime":996.24,"body":"And to be honest with you, worst mistake I've ever made, but within two months I was horribly"},{"startTime":996.24,"endTime":997.52,"body":"addicted to that drug."},{"startTime":997.52,"endTime":999.2,"body":"It was like I couldn't live without it."},{"startTime":999.2,"endTime":1003.4,"body":"And then after a couple of years, you're to the place where it's not even working anymore."},{"startTime":1003.4,"endTime":1006.2,"body":"The more you take, the less it works for you."},{"startTime":1006.2,"endTime":1009.96,"body":"And it just has this effect where it just works less and less."},{"startTime":1009.96,"endTime":1011.8,"body":"And my pain started hurting more and more."},{"startTime":1011.8,"endTime":1013.2,"body":"And then I was just taking it"},{"startTime":1013.2,"endTime":1016.68,"body":"just because I was dreadfully fearful of being sick."},{"startTime":1016.68,"endTime":1019.34,"body":"It's just a horrible, horrible, evil cycle."},{"startTime":1019.34,"endTime":1022.0,"body":"And I'm actually in a lawsuit against Purdue Pharmacy"},{"startTime":1022.0,"endTime":1024.4,"body":"right now for the lies that they were telling"},{"startTime":1024.4,"endTime":1027.2,"body":"about this OxyContin and how it was not addicting"},{"startTime":1027.2,"endTime":1030.1,"body":"and all the things they told a lot of people."},{"startTime":1030.1,"endTime":1031.4,"body":"So, even including doctors,"},{"startTime":1031.4,"endTime":1032.6,"body":"they were telling the doctors that."},{"startTime":1032.6,"endTime":1035.02,"body":"So, at any rate, I got to a place,"},{"startTime":1035.02,"endTime":1038.4,"body":"honestly, where I was on my living room floor one day"},{"startTime":1038.4,"endTime":1041.0,"body":"and I was in tears, I hadn't looked at my face"},{"startTime":1041.0,"endTime":1042.48,"body":"in the mirror in a year."},{"startTime":1042.48,"endTime":1045.48,"body":"I hated myself, I hated the kind of father I became"},{"startTime":1045.48,"endTime":1048.04,"body":"to my children because I literally walked away"},{"startTime":1048.04,"endTime":1050.16,"body":"from a lot of acting just to take care of my two girls"},{"startTime":1050.16,"endTime":1052.12,"body":"after my wife died, but the way I looked at that,"},{"startTime":1052.12,"endTime":1054.36,"body":"I said, you know what, the last two years of my life,"},{"startTime":1054.36,"endTime":1058.32,"body":"I've failed horribly and miserably as a father"},{"startTime":1058.32,"endTime":1060.86,"body":"and I walked away a lot from my friends"},{"startTime":1060.86,"endTime":1063.04,"body":"and the people in my faith."},{"startTime":1063.04,"endTime":1065.14,"body":"And I just, I got on my knees and I just prayed."},{"startTime":1065.14,"endTime":1067.98,"body":"And I just said, God, listen, I can't do this."},{"startTime":1067.98,"endTime":1070.6,"body":"There's no possible way I can stop this drug"},{"startTime":1070.6,"endTime":1072.86,"body":"from ravaging me and tearing my life apart."},{"startTime":1072.86,"endTime":1074.14,"body":"And my life is yours."},{"startTime":1074.14,"endTime":1076.1,"body":"You can either take me to heaven right this moment,"},{"startTime":1076.1,"endTime":1078.38,"body":"or you can help me get through this."},{"startTime":1078.38,"endTime":1080.98,"body":"I said, God, I'm too much of a chicken to commit suicide."},{"startTime":1080.98,"endTime":1084.2,"body":"So I'm just begging you to please help me and the next thing I"},{"startTime":1084.2,"endTime":1089.92,"body":"knew I finally called a rehab place and I said listen I want to come in and then"},{"startTime":1089.92,"endTime":1092.72,"body":"they said well do you have any upcoming surgeries or that stuff I said yes I"},{"startTime":1092.72,"endTime":1096.2,"body":"have to have a hip replacement they said don't bother stopping until after your"},{"startTime":1096.2,"endTime":1100.8,"body":"hip replacement so I went in I had the hip replacement surgery and a month"},{"startTime":1100.8,"endTime":1109.44,"body":"after it I was feeling great I was taking what amounted to four pain pills a day as opposed to upwards of 70 pain pills a day."},{"startTime":1109.44,"endTime":1110.44,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":1110.44,"endTime":1111.44,"body":"And I was doing great."},{"startTime":1111.44,"endTime":1115.04,"body":"I mean, I was going to go into rehab and get off the rest of it."},{"startTime":1115.04,"endTime":1120.56,"body":"Well, I woke up one morning about a month later and the entire right side of my hip"},{"startTime":1120.56,"endTime":1124.04,"body":"had swollen up to the size of half of a football."},{"startTime":1124.04,"endTime":1133.52,"body":"It was red, hot, and the area where they'd gone in to suture me up had ripped open and there was this viscous fluid that was pouring out"},{"startTime":1133.52,"endTime":1134.92,"body":"of the side of my hip."},{"startTime":1134.92,"endTime":1140.08,"body":"I went to the emergency room and immediately they set me up for surgery the next day because"},{"startTime":1140.08,"endTime":1147.16,"body":"I had a systemic infection that was a streptococcus infection and it attacked my whole system"},{"startTime":1147.16,"endTime":1150.76,"body":"to the point where the doc said, listen, Darren, we got to give you a new hip replacement."},{"startTime":1150.76,"endTime":1156.26,"body":"And with this, even with this, there's one chance you're going to die from the infections, another chance"},{"startTime":1156.26,"endTime":1159.96,"body":"you're going to lose your leg, and thirdly, you may come out of it."},{"startTime":1159.96,"endTime":1162.96,"body":"And so, these are the options I was told by the doctor."},{"startTime":1162.96,"endTime":1167.98,"body":"I began weeping in his office because, you know, those two out of three were terrible."},{"startTime":1167.98,"endTime":1170.92,"body":"And so, I spent the next five months in and out of a nursing hospital."},{"startTime":1170.92,"endTime":1174.96,"body":"I was three months in a nursing hospital and two months at home with a wound care specialist"},{"startTime":1174.96,"endTime":1176.44,"body":"that came to my house every day."},{"startTime":1176.44,"endTime":1180.42,"body":"And then every, just about every other month, they were giving me a different type"},{"startTime":1180.42,"endTime":1188.12,"body":"of very powerful antibiotic, hoping that it would kill off this infection."},{"startTime":1188.12,"endTime":1192.92,"body":"And nothing worked and I was praying and praying and then after four months, finally by the"},{"startTime":1192.92,"endTime":1197.48,"body":"grace of God, that hole in my leg healed up and I was healed."},{"startTime":1197.48,"endTime":1204.56,"body":"I mean, it was, I want to say a miracle from God because the infection was truly devastating and I'd heard stories of"},{"startTime":1204.56,"endTime":1208.82,"body":"people that went and got a toe amputated and got the same kind of infection on"},{"startTime":1208.82,"endTime":1215.6,"body":"their toe and died. So I know God had a hand in this and so after I got my"},{"startTime":1215.6,"endTime":1220.48,"body":"second hip replacement I went into rehab and I wish I could say when I got out of"},{"startTime":1220.48,"endTime":1225.44,"body":"rehab I did stellar and I quit but I quit my drugs I didn't, I failed."},{"startTime":1225.44,"endTime":1227.52,"body":"I got addicted again really quickly"},{"startTime":1227.52,"endTime":1230.04,"body":"and I went into rehab again and I failed"},{"startTime":1230.04,"endTime":1232.04,"body":"and I got out of it, get out of there"},{"startTime":1232.04,"endTime":1235.04,"body":"and I failed honestly about four times."},{"startTime":1235.04,"endTime":1237.98,"body":"But what I learned, Toby, through that is as I was failing,"},{"startTime":1237.98,"endTime":1239.88,"body":"I was always failing forward,"},{"startTime":1239.88,"endTime":1242.4,"body":"meaning each time I was getting stronger,"},{"startTime":1242.4,"endTime":1247.08,"body":"each time I was saying, okay, I can do this, I can do this,"},{"startTime":1247.08,"endTime":1249.28,"body":"and each time I was praying, God, give me the strength,"},{"startTime":1249.28,"endTime":1253.68,"body":"and so the fourth time was a charm. I got out of there"},{"startTime":1253.68,"endTime":1258.78,"body":"I got off the drug. I spent five months in an outpatient program learning about"},{"startTime":1258.78,"endTime":1261.06,"body":"alcohol drug addiction and the effects of"},{"startTime":1261.06,"endTime":1267.34,"body":"All these things and I came totally fascinated with that and decided you know God I can I can use what I've learned what I've been"},{"startTime":1267.34,"endTime":1268.94,"body":"Through to help other people"},{"startTime":1268.94,"endTime":1274.0,"body":"You have to admire the perspective that Darren has chosen to view his life through."},{"startTime":1274.0,"endTime":1278.0,"body":"His young wife, a promising professional bodybuilder in her own right,"},{"startTime":1278.0,"endTime":1283.0,"body":"dies suddenly, leaving Darren widowed and doing his best to balance the possibilities of a movie career"},{"startTime":1283.0,"endTime":1287.0,"body":"with the responsibilities of raising his two young girls alone."},{"startTime":1287.0,"endTime":1291.0,"body":"Then a few short years later, he finds his mother dead as well."},{"startTime":1291.0,"endTime":1295.0,"body":"In the midst of crippling emotional pain, he suffers physically too,"},{"startTime":1295.0,"endTime":1298.0,"body":"with not one but two hip replacements,"},{"startTime":1298.0,"endTime":1301.0,"body":"and eventually an addiction to prescription painkillers"},{"startTime":1301.0,"endTime":1304.68,"body":"that would require multiple trips through inpatient rehab"},{"startTime":1304.68,"endTime":1307.28,"body":"and boatloads of prayer to eventually kick."},{"startTime":1307.28,"endTime":1308.44,"body":"But you heard him say it."},{"startTime":1308.44,"endTime":1310.92,"body":"His view is that he suffered through these tragedies"},{"startTime":1310.92,"endTime":1311.84,"body":"for a purpose."},{"startTime":1311.84,"endTime":1314.32,"body":"And that purpose, as he sees it today,"},{"startTime":1314.32,"endTime":1318.36,"body":"is to help others cope with their own trauma and loss."},{"startTime":1318.36,"endTime":1321.36,"body":"So now what I do, among other things,"},{"startTime":1321.36,"endTime":1323.48,"body":"is I manage a sober living house."},{"startTime":1323.48,"endTime":1325.4,"body":"We've got 10 guys living here."},{"startTime":1325.4,"endTime":1326.32,"body":"I'm the manager."},{"startTime":1326.32,"endTime":1327.48,"body":"I drug test them."},{"startTime":1327.48,"endTime":1330.08,"body":"We talk all the time about issues having to do with drugs."},{"startTime":1330.08,"endTime":1331.32,"body":"We have meetings."},{"startTime":1331.32,"endTime":1334.04,"body":"And to me, it's just been another form of ministry"},{"startTime":1334.04,"endTime":1337.88,"body":"that where God has taken something that was so negative"},{"startTime":1337.88,"endTime":1341.2,"body":"and turned it into an amazing positive experience."},{"startTime":1341.2,"endTime":1343.88,"body":"So, you know, I just want to give God all the glory"},{"startTime":1343.88,"endTime":1347.0,"body":"for all this to tell you the truth, man."},{"startTime":1347.0,"endTime":1348.0,"body":"Yeah, that's fantastic."},{"startTime":1348.0,"endTime":1351.0,"body":"Part of the genesis for this show came last year."},{"startTime":1351.0,"endTime":1356.0,"body":"I spent a week as part of an intensive at Hazleton Betty Ford in Rancho Mirage,"},{"startTime":1356.0,"endTime":1359.0,"body":"and we're actually embedded in that program."},{"startTime":1359.0,"endTime":1364.0,"body":"So we get assigned to a group of – I was with males who lived in a certain house,"},{"startTime":1364.0,"endTime":1374.0,"body":"and I got to sit in on the group therapy sessions, and I got to talk to one-on-one with them and it really changed my entire perception of addiction."},{"startTime":1374.0,"endTime":1381.0,"body":"Society wants to ostracize and stigmatize and it's so disingenuous."},{"startTime":1381.0,"endTime":1386.0,"body":"I feel like honestly, if we're going to go there, it's a trick, it's deceit."},{"startTime":1386.0,"endTime":1392.0,"body":"Because we see celebrities living this party lifestyle and as soon as they succumb to addiction,"},{"startTime":1392.0,"endTime":1394.48,"body":"addiction like we kick them out to the curb."},{"startTime":1394.48,"endTime":1395.48,"body":"That's exactly right."},{"startTime":1395.48,"endTime":1399.0,"body":"You're less of a human being because you can't handle that."},{"startTime":1399.0,"endTime":1400.0,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1400.0,"endTime":1405.92,"body":"And what I emerged from that realizing was these people, yeah, they succumb to addiction"},{"startTime":1405.92,"endTime":1411.48,"body":"but how much strength does it take to put your life on hold, the financial, you know,"},{"startTime":1411.48,"endTime":1416.32,"body":"your family is essentially suffering financially as well as you're not there and you're in"},{"startTime":1416.32,"endTime":1418.88,"body":"this 30 days of recovery."},{"startTime":1418.88,"endTime":1422.0,"body":"And then I used to think like, Oh, that guy's been in and out, you know,"},{"startTime":1422.0,"endTime":1426.4,"body":"in your case four times and society's so quick to judge, like, you know,"},{"startTime":1426.4,"endTime":1428.36,"body":"you're never going to learn your lesson, but you're right."},{"startTime":1428.36,"endTime":1430.24,"body":"Recovery is a process."},{"startTime":1430.24,"endTime":1435.24,"body":"And hopefully you're making incremental steps toward"},{"startTime":1435.24,"endTime":1438.52,"body":"recovery every time. And I just want to applaud you."},{"startTime":1438.52,"endTime":1440.2,"body":"Congratulations on your sobriety."},{"startTime":1440.2,"endTime":1447.84,"body":"Thank you for the ministry that you're providing to these men who have also had their own struggles."},{"startTime":1447.84,"endTime":1452.24,"body":"I think it's so powerful what you said and how you said there were failures along the"},{"startTime":1452.24,"endTime":1453.24,"body":"way."},{"startTime":1453.24,"endTime":1455.72,"body":"The loss of your wife certainly had to be devastating."},{"startTime":1455.72,"endTime":1462.72,"body":"What did failure teach you that smooth sailing success wouldn't have?"},{"startTime":1462.72,"endTime":1464.16,"body":"That is such a great question."},{"startTime":1464.16,"endTime":1467.36,"body":"I could talk about that forever."},{"startTime":1467.36,"endTime":1470.76,"body":"I mean, let me just start with sports, okay?"},{"startTime":1470.76,"endTime":1472.48,"body":"When I was playing racquetball,"},{"startTime":1472.48,"endTime":1475.0,"body":"you know, I failed, I lost 10 times,"},{"startTime":1475.0,"endTime":1477.14,"body":"100 times more games than I ever won"},{"startTime":1477.14,"endTime":1479.88,"body":"on my road to becoming one of the best players in the world."},{"startTime":1479.88,"endTime":1482.92,"body":"So I failed way more times than I ever succeeded."},{"startTime":1482.92,"endTime":1484.8,"body":"But each time I was failing forward,"},{"startTime":1484.8,"endTime":1485.8,"body":"I was learning a little bit more,"},{"startTime":1485.8,"endTime":1487.08,"body":"getting a little bit stronger."},{"startTime":1487.08,"endTime":1488.28,"body":"And then the same thing with acting."},{"startTime":1488.28,"endTime":1489.38,"body":"When you go on auditions,"},{"startTime":1489.38,"endTime":1491.16,"body":"you're a piece of meat to these people."},{"startTime":1491.16,"endTime":1492.54,"body":"They don't really care about anything"},{"startTime":1492.54,"endTime":1493.78,"body":"unless you have the right look,"},{"startTime":1493.78,"endTime":1494.94,"body":"you say everything's perfect."},{"startTime":1494.94,"endTime":1496.9,"body":"They don't care about you as a human being."},{"startTime":1496.9,"endTime":1500.22,"body":"So you hear some ruthlessly wicked criticism"},{"startTime":1500.22,"endTime":1502.78,"body":"when you're going on auditions and stuff."},{"startTime":1502.78,"endTime":1505.06,"body":"But again, I failed and failed and failed"},{"startTime":1505.06,"endTime":1506.96,"body":"and then all of a sudden I started booking jobs"},{"startTime":1506.96,"endTime":1509.72,"body":"and then pretty soon I started hitting big movies."},{"startTime":1509.72,"endTime":1514.12,"body":"But again, I've failed 100 times more than I ever succeeded"},{"startTime":1514.12,"endTime":1518.0,"body":"and I think the takeaway is that you just you"},{"startTime":1518.0,"endTime":1522.84,"body":"just don't quit you persevere you move forward and it's just like anything else"},{"startTime":1522.84,"endTime":1527.2,"body":"I mean if you look at the Bible every one of the people that God used in major"},{"startTime":1527.2,"endTime":1532.16,"body":"ways were were flawed men I mean these guys failed miserably in life a lot of"},{"startTime":1532.16,"endTime":1536.04,"body":"times David was an adulterer and a murderer but God turned around and used"},{"startTime":1536.04,"endTime":1540.8,"body":"his life in the most magnificent way we could imagine. I mean you just go through"},{"startTime":1540.8,"endTime":1545.54,"body":"look at Peter. Peter denied knowing Jesus Christ after he walked with him for"},{"startTime":1545.54,"endTime":1550.38,"body":"three years watching him do miracle after miracle and loving on people and then he"},{"startTime":1550.38,"endTime":1554.48,"body":"denied even knowing him three times but that wasn't the end of the story. The end"},{"startTime":1554.48,"endTime":1559.4,"body":"of the story was Peter after weeping bitterly got back with the Lord and he"},{"startTime":1559.4,"endTime":1563.08,"body":"became one of the most powerful spokesman for Christ"},{"startTime":1563.08,"endTime":1564.82,"body":"since the New Testament."},{"startTime":1564.82,"endTime":1566.12,"body":"So, same thing with Paul."},{"startTime":1566.12,"endTime":1568.24,"body":"I mean, I could go on and on and on with all these people."},{"startTime":1568.24,"endTime":1572.5,"body":"So, a lot of times when you fail, you just don't quit."},{"startTime":1572.5,"endTime":1573.96,"body":"You fail forward, you learn."},{"startTime":1573.96,"endTime":1577.96,"body":"And I believe that some of the most rich personalities"},{"startTime":1577.96,"endTime":1579.28,"body":"and some of the most wonderful people"},{"startTime":1579.28,"endTime":1581.72,"body":"I've ever met in my life have gone through"},{"startTime":1581.72,"endTime":1584.2,"body":"some of the most incredible tragedies,"},{"startTime":1584.2,"endTime":1589.0,"body":"trials, tests, and tribulations that you would ever meet."},{"startTime":1589.0,"endTime":1593.0,"body":"And I'm sure you can relate to that, Toby. I'm sure you understand what I'm talking about."},{"startTime":1593.0,"endTime":1598.0,"body":"Yeah, absolutely. And I think it's important for people to realize, I teach grad students a lot,"},{"startTime":1598.0,"endTime":1603.0,"body":"and they're struggling through some of the hardest coursework they've ever taken,"},{"startTime":1603.0,"endTime":1608.0,"body":"or they'll graduate and they get that first job, and maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't."},{"startTime":1608.0,"endTime":1611.0,"body":"But, you know, what do you tell yourself in that moment?"},{"startTime":1611.0,"endTime":1618.0,"body":"It's easy for us as old lions to the pride to look back and realize where the lessons were."},{"startTime":1618.0,"endTime":1622.0,"body":"But for a young person who's in the midst of that season of rejection,"},{"startTime":1622.0,"endTime":1629.0,"body":"my daughter is a vocal performance major, and she said one of the first things they taught her as a vocalist is your job isn't to sing."},{"startTime":1629.0,"endTime":1638.0,"body":"Your job, your career is to audition and to recognize that failure is baked right in."},{"startTime":1638.0,"endTime":1639.92,"body":"It's an expectation in this role."},{"startTime":1639.92,"endTime":1641.52,"body":"If you're not comfortable with failure,"},{"startTime":1641.52,"endTime":1642.96,"body":"you're in the wrong line of work."},{"startTime":1642.96,"endTime":1644.04,"body":"That's exactly right."},{"startTime":1644.04,"endTime":1646.28,"body":"And performing is much the same."},{"startTime":1646.28,"endTime":1649.96,"body":"So what do you tell a young person who's on the front edge"},{"startTime":1649.96,"endTime":1652.8,"body":"and staring down this possibility of failure"},{"startTime":1652.8,"endTime":1655.28,"body":"to keep going during those times when things didn't"},{"startTime":1655.28,"endTime":1657.48,"body":"go the way they had hoped?"},{"startTime":1657.48,"endTime":1658.36,"body":"Great question."},{"startTime":1658.36,"endTime":1660.68,"body":"A couple of things, Toby. I would tell him one,"},{"startTime":1660.68,"endTime":1665.28,"body":"reassess your values, your priorities, and your dreams and hopes,"},{"startTime":1665.28,"endTime":1669.44,"body":"and make sure that you're doing something that you are ready and prepared to do"},{"startTime":1669.44,"endTime":1672.72,"body":"for the rest of your life. Whether you make a ton of money or not,"},{"startTime":1672.72,"endTime":1677.32,"body":"I always say success is doing the job or the career that you enjoy doing,"},{"startTime":1677.32,"endTime":1682.52,"body":"or you're gifted to doing and go after that with all your heart."},{"startTime":1682.52,"endTime":1684.44,"body":"That's the first thing I would say."},{"startTime":1684.44,"endTime":1687.36,"body":"But as far as that person who's downcast"},{"startTime":1687.36,"endTime":1689.04,"body":"and saying, man, I'm blowing it."},{"startTime":1689.04,"endTime":1691.56,"body":"Listen, man, you gotta get up, my son,"},{"startTime":1691.56,"endTime":1694.26,"body":"and you gotta realize that tough times don't last,"},{"startTime":1694.26,"endTime":1695.82,"body":"but tough people do."},{"startTime":1695.82,"endTime":1697.68,"body":"And so you gotta persevere."},{"startTime":1697.68,"endTime":1699.2,"body":"And what I realized as an actor,"},{"startTime":1699.2,"endTime":1701.0,"body":"they said, Darren, listen,"},{"startTime":1701.0,"endTime":1703.12,"body":"you're gonna fail and fail and fail,"},{"startTime":1703.12,"endTime":1705.96,"body":"but like I was telling you, you fail forward."},{"startTime":1705.96,"endTime":1708.46,"body":"Always learn, young man or young woman,"},{"startTime":1708.46,"endTime":1710.84,"body":"something from what your failure cost you."},{"startTime":1710.84,"endTime":1715.6,"body":"What caused me to fail or why did I not get that job?"},{"startTime":1715.6,"endTime":1717.88,"body":"Or why did I blow that interview?"},{"startTime":1717.88,"endTime":1719.0,"body":"And that's what I would always do."},{"startTime":1719.0,"endTime":1721.92,"body":"If I went in and I just really messed up an audition,"},{"startTime":1721.92,"endTime":1724.44,"body":"it was terrible, okay, after I stopped feeling sorry"},{"startTime":1724.44,"endTime":1726.6,"body":"for myself, I would say, okay, Darren,"},{"startTime":1726.6,"endTime":1728.46,"body":"what can you do better next time?"},{"startTime":1728.46,"endTime":1730.4,"body":"And then I went and made sure I did it."},{"startTime":1730.4,"endTime":1733.2,"body":"And that's the best advice I could give anybody,"},{"startTime":1733.2,"endTime":1736.8,"body":"is always learn, because there's lessons in every failure"},{"startTime":1736.8,"endTime":1741.14,"body":"that are golden opportunities to step up and learn"},{"startTime":1741.14,"endTime":1745.08,"body":"and grow and achieve every dream you ever hoped for."},{"startTime":1745.08,"endTime":1747.68,"body":"That's so powerful and so inspiring"},{"startTime":1747.68,"endTime":1750.14,"body":"because it's always tempting in that moment"},{"startTime":1750.14,"endTime":1751.26,"body":"to just shut it down."},{"startTime":1751.26,"endTime":1753.08,"body":"Well, maybe I don't have what it takes."},{"startTime":1753.08,"endTime":1755.92,"body":"Maybe I'm not cut out for this."},{"startTime":1755.92,"endTime":1759.24,"body":"And it takes wisdom and discernment to figure out,"},{"startTime":1759.24,"endTime":1762.2,"body":"okay, is this adversity to make me stronger?"},{"startTime":1762.2,"endTime":1764.52,"body":"Or is this a sign that maybe I need to go"},{"startTime":1764.52,"endTime":1765.48,"body":"in another direction?"},{"startTime":1765.48,"endTime":1768.04,"body":"And that only comes with age."},{"startTime":1768.04,"endTime":1768.88,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1768.88,"endTime":1769.96,"body":"What do your days look like today?"},{"startTime":1769.96,"endTime":1772.2,"body":"You kind of mentioned that you serve"},{"startTime":1772.2,"endTime":1774.28,"body":"in the addiction community, but that's not all you do."},{"startTime":1774.28,"endTime":1776.88,"body":"Tell us a little bit about what your day to day looks like."},{"startTime":1776.88,"endTime":1778.0,"body":"Well, thank you."},{"startTime":1778.0,"endTime":1781.36,"body":"It's been quite an exciting journey. I just worked on a movie,"},{"startTime":1781.36,"endTime":1785.28,"body":"stunt coordinating a little film last week, which was fun. So I'm still dabbling in the"},{"startTime":1785.28,"endTime":1791.6,"body":"movie industry, but really my main objective and my main drive is ministry right now. Honestly,"},{"startTime":1791.6,"endTime":1795.76,"body":"after all the publicity I've been getting from these podcasts that I've been doing and all the"},{"startTime":1795.76,"endTime":1802.54,"body":"publicity I'm getting from these two major documentaries that are out there, I really want to parlay that into a platform"},{"startTime":1802.54,"endTime":1805.22,"body":"where I can encourage young people in their lives"},{"startTime":1805.22,"endTime":1808.04,"body":"to tell them, listen man, there's a God out there"},{"startTime":1808.04,"endTime":1811.16,"body":"that's real and that you search for that God,"},{"startTime":1811.16,"endTime":1812.74,"body":"believe in that God, because the world's gonna tell you"},{"startTime":1812.74,"endTime":1815.42,"body":"right now that there is no God, and if there's no God,"},{"startTime":1815.42,"endTime":1817.38,"body":"it's an awful, hopeless, empty place"},{"startTime":1817.38,"endTime":1818.82,"body":"to live your life these days."},{"startTime":1818.82,"endTime":1821.98,"body":"So that's one thing, but for me, again,"},{"startTime":1821.98,"endTime":1824.58,"body":"if I can go out and speak in churches"},{"startTime":1824.58,"endTime":1827.32,"body":"or do radio shows or podcasts like this"},{"startTime":1827.32,"endTime":1829.84,"body":"where I can encourage people and tell them,"},{"startTime":1829.84,"endTime":1831.88,"body":"listen man, there's heroes out there."},{"startTime":1831.88,"endTime":1834.36,"body":"Search for a hero, search for a mentor."},{"startTime":1834.36,"endTime":1838.08,"body":"Find somebody who you respect that's older than you,"},{"startTime":1838.08,"endTime":1840.84,"body":"wiser than you, and then listen to that person."},{"startTime":1840.84,"endTime":1844.0,"body":"Learn from that person because some of the greatest lessons"},{"startTime":1844.0,"endTime":1846.16,"body":"I got were sitting under the tutelage of men"},{"startTime":1846.16,"endTime":1849.48,"body":"that were much smarter than me, much wiser than me,"},{"startTime":1849.48,"endTime":1853.0,"body":"and a lot more humble than me."},{"startTime":1853.0,"endTime":1857.9,"body":"This particular piece of advice is especially painful for me to hear today."},{"startTime":1857.9,"endTime":1861.02,"body":"Up until last week, I had two mentors who I met with"},{"startTime":1861.02,"endTime":1864.26,"body":"at least monthly to talk about life and career and growth."},{"startTime":1864.26,"endTime":1867.02,"body":"Sadly, I lost one of them this past week."},{"startTime":1867.02,"endTime":1869.5,"body":"Dr. Robert Pasteraro was a faculty member in"},{"startTime":1869.5,"endTime":1870.98,"body":"Healthcare Leadership and Management at"},{"startTime":1870.98,"endTime":1873.3,"body":"the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center."},{"startTime":1873.3,"endTime":1877.44,"body":"He was a Yale-trained radiologist with more than three decades of experience,"},{"startTime":1877.44,"endTime":1881.44,"body":"and he'd been inducted in the American College of Radiology as a fellow."},{"startTime":1881.44,"endTime":1884.44,"body":"Late in life, he taught exclusively online,"},{"startTime":1884.44,"endTime":1889.44,"body":"as a degenerative neurologic disorder had taken much of his strength and mobility."},{"startTime":1889.44,"endTime":1895.44,"body":"Nevertheless, he agreed to be my mentor two years ago, and we chatted on Zoom every month."},{"startTime":1895.44,"endTime":1898.56,"body":"He was a wise, kind, and humble soul"},{"startTime":1898.56,"endTime":1902.04,"body":"who helped me keep my professional journey in perspective."},{"startTime":1902.04,"endTime":1904.12,"body":"He encouraged me as I sought out new paths"},{"startTime":1904.12,"endTime":1905.24,"body":"and new opportunities."},{"startTime":1905.24,"endTime":1906.6,"body":"And as Darren says here,"},{"startTime":1906.6,"endTime":1909.88,"body":"we all need people like that in our lives."},{"startTime":1909.88,"endTime":1910.8,"body":"I'll miss you, Bob."},{"startTime":1910.8,"endTime":1912.28,"body":"That's, I think, the biggest takeaways"},{"startTime":1912.28,"endTime":1913.76,"body":"I can give young people right now."},{"startTime":1913.76,"endTime":1916.4,"body":"And what I'm doing, I'm loving what I'm doing."},{"startTime":1916.4,"endTime":1920.8,"body":"I honestly, Toby, I am happier now with where I'm at"},{"startTime":1920.8,"endTime":1925.0,"body":"and what I'm doing than I've ever been in my life."},{"startTime":1925.0,"endTime":1926.0,"body":"That's awesome."},{"startTime":1926.0,"endTime":1931.68,"body":"And such an inspiration because you've had to go through some stuff, things that no one"},{"startTime":1931.68,"endTime":1932.68,"body":"would have chosen."},{"startTime":1932.68,"endTime":1937.06,"body":"And there's so much hope in knowing that someone can emerge on the other side of that and still"},{"startTime":1937.06,"endTime":1939.68,"body":"be able to say that I have a life worth living."},{"startTime":1939.68,"endTime":1942.96,"body":"I have a fulfilling existence and I'm pouring into other people."},{"startTime":1942.96,"endTime":1943.96,"body":"So that's fantastic."},{"startTime":1943.96,"endTime":1944.96,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1944.96,"endTime":1945.96,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1945.96,"endTime":1950.96,"body":"I love music and the emotion that it can convey or represent."},{"startTime":1950.96,"endTime":1958.96,"body":"If we're doing an 80s training montage or some sort of piece together clip of Darren McBee's life,"},{"startTime":1958.96,"endTime":1962.96,"body":"what song do you have playing in the background or what song most represents who you are?"},{"startTime":1962.96,"endTime":1965.96,"body":"You're giving me a curveball there, Gobi."},{"startTime":1965.96,"endTime":1968.96,"body":"I've got to say, there's a couple that stick in my head."},{"startTime":1968.96,"endTime":1970.24,"body":"Motley Crue is one. I always loved the glam bands of the 80s"},{"startTime":1970.24,"endTime":1972.6,"body":"because I'm a natural born show off."},{"startTime":1972.6,"endTime":1975.2,"body":"I love all that kind of hair and costume."},{"startTime":1975.2,"endTime":1979.32,"body":"So to me, the bands of the 70s and 80s, Journey,"},{"startTime":1979.32,"endTime":1981.84,"body":"probably my favorite band of all time, like that."},{"startTime":1981.84,"endTime":1984.58,"body":"Those are the ones, but I also love R\u0026B,"},{"startTime":1984.58,"endTime":1986.8,"body":"like Earth, Wind \u0026 Fire and groups like that"},{"startTime":1986.8,"endTime":1988.56,"body":"have always been my favorite."},{"startTime":1988.56,"endTime":1990.88,"body":"Of course, my all-time favorite training"},{"startTime":1990.88,"endTime":1994.68,"body":"came in the 1990s with the Mortal Kombat soundtrack."},{"startTime":1994.68,"endTime":1997.36,"body":"Now that was definitely my jam and my groove when I was working"},{"startTime":1997.36,"endTime":2001.68,"body":"out. And then by the grace of God, I ended up co-starring in the second one, Mortal Kombat"},{"startTime":2001.68,"endTime":2008.0,"body":"Annihilation. So that's how cool God is sometimes. That's very cool. As we've discussed, I mean,"},{"startTime":2008.0,"endTime":2013.2,"body":"the show's about how we can fall apart and then fall into place. And so you certainly had seasons"},{"startTime":2013.2,"endTime":2020.74,"body":"in your life where it seemed like things were falling apart. What for Darren McBee remains undone? What do you have left to"},{"startTime":2020.74,"endTime":2025.04,"body":"accomplish before you go see the good Lord? Oh man, sky's the limit. You know,"},{"startTime":2025.04,"endTime":2028.8,"body":"everything, and I'm not just saying this as a cliche, but you know, everything is"},{"startTime":2028.8,"endTime":2033.24,"body":"possible with God. And so as far as I'm concerned, I want to see a million more"},{"startTime":2033.24,"endTime":2037.4,"body":"souls come into the kingdom of heaven, at least, before he takes me home because"},{"startTime":2037.4,"endTime":2042.04,"body":"he's brought me to this place where I've gathered a lot of wisdom, gained a lot of wisdom"},{"startTime":2042.04,"endTime":2044.0,"body":"from what he's taught me and taken me through."},{"startTime":2044.0,"endTime":2047.84,"body":"And I honestly, honestly want to encourage other people"},{"startTime":2047.84,"endTime":2050.28,"body":"to be the best they can be, to shine like a diamond"},{"startTime":2050.28,"endTime":2052.4,"body":"every day and do what they love to do,"},{"startTime":2052.4,"endTime":2055.84,"body":"but really, really to lead people to a relationship"},{"startTime":2055.84,"endTime":2057.96,"body":"with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."},{"startTime":2057.96,"endTime":2060.32,"body":"That is my number one most important goal"},{"startTime":2060.32,"endTime":2061.84,"body":"in my life right now, man."},{"startTime":2061.84,"endTime":2062.84,"body":"That's awesome."},{"startTime":2062.84,"endTime":2063.9,"body":"Well, I'm gonna plant the seed."},{"startTime":2063.9,"endTime":2065.24,"body":"If you're not already working on it"},{"startTime":2065.24,"endTime":2070.04,"body":"or haven't thought about it, the world needs a Malibu."},{"startTime":2070.04,"endTime":2076.72,"body":"We need the documentary from you specifically because you've got a story to tell my friend."},{"startTime":2076.72,"endTime":2079.72,"body":"How can people connect with you and follow and support your work?"},{"startTime":2079.72,"endTime":2081.0,"body":"What are the best ways?"},{"startTime":2081.0,"endTime":2083.64,"body":"Sure, you can reach me, friend me on Facebook."},{"startTime":2083.64,"endTime":2086.08,"body":"I will always get back to anybody who friends me on Facebook."},{"startTime":2086.08,"endTime":2089.84,"body":"You need someone to talk to if you're struggling with issues of faith or addiction."},{"startTime":2089.84,"endTime":2092.08,"body":"I'm never going to shove my beliefs down your throat. Listen,"},{"startTime":2092.08,"endTime":2096.8,"body":"those are personal. I'll always just share my journey, but I'm there to discuss anything with"},{"startTime":2096.8,"endTime":2101.36,"body":"you. I mean, I also counsel people that are going through depression and anxiety and things like"},{"startTime":2101.36,"endTime":2106.0,"body":"that. So please, by all means, get a hold of me. Fantastic. Darren, can't thank you enough."},{"startTime":2106.0,"endTime":2111.04,"body":"Really appreciate your time. Thanks for being on the show. Big inspiration for me. I had a lunchbox"},{"startTime":2111.04,"endTime":2112.04,"body":"I'm not ashamed."},{"startTime":2112.04,"endTime":2117.96,"body":"So as an 80s kid, you were definitely someone to aspire to."},{"startTime":2117.96,"endTime":2120.78,"body":"So I certainly thank you for that and certainly it continues."},{"startTime":2120.78,"endTime":2121.78,"body":"So Darren, thanks."},{"startTime":2121.78,"endTime":2122.78,"body":"Thank you so much, Toby."},{"startTime":2122.78,"endTime":2123.78,"body":"God bless you, man."},{"startTime":2123.78,"endTime":2126.02,"body":"You as well."},{"startTime":2126.02,"endTime":2131.56,"body":"For Darren McBee, it's been an incredible ride of highs and lows, of victory and failure,"},{"startTime":2131.56,"endTime":2136.32,"body":"of days in the spotlight and sadly, long dark years and despair."},{"startTime":2136.32,"endTime":2141.04,"body":"However, he's a survivor. He's emerged on the other side of that"},{"startTime":2141.04,"endTime":2144.76,"body":"gauntlet of life, wiser and better equipped to serve people who are"},{"startTime":2144.76,"endTime":2149.2,"body":"wrestling with their own challenges in life. And with lofty goals of helping to"},{"startTime":2149.2,"endTime":2153.48,"body":"see a million or more souls won for Christ, and maybe even a Malibu memoir"},{"startTime":2153.48,"endTime":2159.16,"body":"book project to come, it's safe to say that this former American gladiator is"},{"startTime":2159.16,"endTime":2175.92,"body":"still undone."},{"startTime":2175.92,"endTime":2179.36,"body":"For more info on today's episode, be sure to check it out on the web."},{"startTime":2179.36,"endTime":2185.8,"body":"Simply go to undonepodcast.com backslash ep49 to see the notes, links, and images related"},{"startTime":2185.8,"endTime":2190.56,"body":"to today's guest, Darren McBee. If you enjoyed the show, I got one request."},{"startTime":2190.56,"endTime":2194.88,"body":"Please share with someone that you think might enjoy it themselves. It would really go a long"},{"startTime":2194.88,"endTime":2199.6,"body":"way in helping me spread the word. I know there are great stories out there to be told and I'm"},{"startTime":2199.6,"endTime":2204.96,"body":"always on the lookout. So if you or someone you know has a story that we can all be inspired by,"},{"startTime":2204.96,"endTime":2213.54,"body":"tell me about it. Surf over to undonepodcast.com, click that connect tab in the top menu drop me a note coming up"},{"startTime":2213.54,"endTime":2218.02,"body":"I've got cancer researcher dr. Phil Anton dr. Garfield bright one of the"},{"startTime":2218.02,"endTime":2222.06,"body":"original members of the iconic and award-winning 90s R\u0026B quartet shy and"},{"startTime":2222.06,"endTime":2227.66,"body":"fitness business legend Pat Brigsby so stay tuned this and more coming up on"},{"startTime":2227.66,"endTime":2240.54,"body":"Becoming Undone is a Nitro-Hype creative production written and produced by me, Toby Brooks."},{"startTime":2240.54,"endTime":2244.22,"body":"If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming"},{"startTime":2244.22,"endTime":2248.54,"body":"Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com."},{"startTime":2248.54,"endTime":2252.78,"body":"Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me"},{"startTime":2252.78,"endTime":2261.44,"body":"at Toby J Brooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review at Apple"},{"startTime":2261.44,"endTime":2268.12,"body":"Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time"},{"startTime":2268.12,"endTime":2271.84,"body":"everybody, keep getting better."},{"startTime":2271.84,"endTime":2289.64,"body":"Outro"}]}