{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":5.52,"body":"Maybe you felt your own nothing. It isn't something, because like they say in the movie,"},{"startTime":5.52,"endTime":13.52,"body":"that would be something. It's literally nothing. A hungering void. Maybe it's a need to bring"},{"startTime":13.52,"endTime":19.52,"body":"something into the world that only you can create. Maybe it's a need to connect. Maybe"},{"startTime":19.52,"endTime":24.52,"body":"success to significance, from daily duty to lasting legacy."},{"startTime":24.52,"endTime":25.8,"body":"It is Word of the Third,"},{"startTime":25.8,"endTime":28.0,"body":"my reflections on purpose, life, and growth."},{"startTime":28.0,"endTime":29.84,"body":"I'm Toby Brooks, speaker, author,"},{"startTime":29.84,"endTime":32.04,"body":"professor, and forever student."},{"startTime":32.04,"endTime":33.6,"body":"Each week on Becoming Undone,"},{"startTime":33.6,"endTime":35.24,"body":"I bring you guests who've dared bravely,"},{"startTime":35.24,"endTime":37.72,"body":"risked mightily, and grown relentlessly."},{"startTime":37.72,"endTime":40.32,"body":"High achievers who've transformed from falling apart"},{"startTime":40.32,"endTime":41.84,"body":"to falling into place."},{"startTime":41.84,"endTime":54.2,"body":"But every third episode, it's my turn to reflect, refine, and reprocess"},{"startTime":54.2,"endTime":56.2,"body":"on Word of the Third."},{"startTime":56.2,"endTime":60.28,"body":"It's Christmas break time in my world, and I'm officially off work today and all of this"},{"startTime":60.28,"endTime":64.78,"body":"week. I've got tons of stuff to do and catch up on. I'm trying my best to close out the"},{"startTime":64.78,"endTime":69.96,"body":"year with my 75th episode, but after some mishaps around the house this week, that's"},{"startTime":69.96,"endTime":76.54,"body":"looking decreasingly likely. At the same time, I'm also trying to give myself some grace and to be thankful for what"},{"startTime":76.54,"endTime":79.18,"body":"I have been able to accomplish this year."},{"startTime":79.18,"endTime":83.7,"body":"On Monday, I decided I was going to re-watch a childhood favorite movie, but this time"},{"startTime":83.7,"endTime":85.82,"body":"through the eyes of an adult."},{"startTime":85.82,"endTime":91.02,"body":"I will never forget the day our library aide, Ms. Hicks, rolled the VCR cart into the library"},{"startTime":91.02,"endTime":95.34,"body":"and declared that we would be watching The Never Ending Story."},{"startTime":95.34,"endTime":98.4,"body":"I'd never seen it, nor had most of my fourth grade friends."},{"startTime":98.4,"endTime":101.6,"body":"I was all of nine years old and Miss Hicks told us"},{"startTime":101.6,"endTime":106.4,"body":"she loves the music and that the special effects were really, really good."},{"startTime":106.4,"endTime":109.6,"body":"Now, that might have been true by 1984 standards,"},{"startTime":109.6,"endTime":114.4,"body":"but it's a film that hasn't held up real well over the years on either of those merits."},{"startTime":114.4,"endTime":118.8,"body":"While pretty campy by today's comparison, what I loved about it most then"},{"startTime":118.8,"endTime":125.68,"body":"was the idea of this make-believe world whose fate depended on Bastion, a kid who was about my age, and"},{"startTime":125.68,"endTime":131.6,"body":"it was enough to make me a fan right away. Watching it as a kid, it was fantastic."},{"startTime":131.6,"endTime":135.84,"body":"Several years back I bought the Blu-ray and I made my kids watch it. They weren't nearly"},{"startTime":135.84,"endTime":140.28,"body":"as impressed as I had been, and I remember feeling maybe a little resentful that they"},{"startTime":140.28,"endTime":144.56,"body":"didn't really connect with the experience the way I had. They were pre-teens for sure,"},{"startTime":144.56,"endTime":149.84,"body":"and in retrospect, those ground-breaking visuals that had dazzled me as a kid of about"},{"startTime":149.84,"endTime":155.76,"body":"their same age were pretty lame by modern day standards. I put it back on the shelf,"},{"startTime":155.76,"endTime":160.4,"body":"and so I guess you could say that watching it as a dad was frustrating."},{"startTime":160.4,"endTime":164.96,"body":"Fast forward another decade or so to the present, and for some strange reason I felt like I"},{"startTime":164.96,"endTime":172.8,"body":"needed to watch it again. A while back, a friend from high school, who I'm still trying to get on the show by the way, Attorney James Eason, and"},{"startTime":172.8,"endTime":178.48,"body":"I were swapping messages about life and family and accomplishment."},{"startTime":178.48,"endTime":181.72,"body":"James messaged me something that I'll never forget."},{"startTime":181.72,"endTime":185.36,"body":"He's a high achiever and that's evidenced by the fact that there aren't many attorneys"},{"startTime":185.36,"endTime":188.44,"body":"who have come from my small rural high school."},{"startTime":188.44,"endTime":191.08,"body":"And even though he's a year younger than me, he still inspires me."},{"startTime":191.08,"endTime":197.52,"body":"But he said, and I'm paraphrasing here loosely because the message has been lost to time, that regardless"},{"startTime":197.52,"endTime":201.9,"body":"of what he's accomplished in the world's eyes, there were times where he still felt this"},{"startTime":201.9,"endTime":207.48,"body":"gnawing lack of purpose or need to do something of significance."},{"startTime":207.48,"endTime":212.4,"body":"Author David Brooks, no relation to me, writes of a similar sense and feeling in his book"},{"startTime":212.4,"endTime":215.04,"body":"The Second Mountain."},{"startTime":215.04,"endTime":218.44,"body":"For many of us, that first mountain we climb in life is success."},{"startTime":218.44,"endTime":223.64,"body":"Whether it's sports or arts or entrepreneurial pursuits or whatever, we try to scale that"},{"startTime":223.64,"endTime":225.12,"body":"mountain of accomplishment."},{"startTime":225.12,"endTime":230.52,"body":"And in proving our worth through degrees or credentials or material things like houses"},{"startTime":230.52,"endTime":236.32,"body":"or cars or any of a variety of other things, we try to show the world that we have external"},{"startTime":236.32,"endTime":241.12,"body":"value and we try to prove to ourself that we have internal value."},{"startTime":241.12,"endTime":247.76,"body":"The problem is, success is rarely satisfying, at least in the long run."},{"startTime":247.76,"endTime":250.56,"body":"So Brooks says that second mountain is significance."},{"startTime":250.56,"endTime":256.04,"body":"Now, I'd say I've been navigating the space between success and significance for a few"},{"startTime":256.04,"endTime":260.88,"body":"years now, and today I'd tell you that my biggest goals in life revolve mostly around"},{"startTime":260.88,"endTime":265.48,"body":"positively impacting people, leaving things better than I found them, and inspiring others"},{"startTime":265.48,"endTime":270.8,"body":"on their own growth journey. With that said, I set aside some time, grabbed my laptop,"},{"startTime":270.8,"endTime":277.04,"body":"and watched the never-ending story on Monday with new eyes. Not with those wide, uncritical eyes of"},{"startTime":277.04,"endTime":283.28,"body":"a child. Also not with the narrow, hypercritical eyes of a father. But through the opened eyes of"},{"startTime":283.28,"endTime":292.44,"body":"a grown-up, looking for deeper meaning, in a movie that most of my generation saw, and whether we'd admit it or not, were shaped by."},{"startTime":292.44,"endTime":297.44,"body":"Now I will say that I've always been a fairly linear and literal thinker."},{"startTime":297.44,"endTime":305.16,"body":"I don't often think about the deeper meaning or the representation that exists in art."},{"startTime":305.16,"endTime":309.84,"body":"That said, there were several quotes, scenes, and story points that jumped out to me this"},{"startTime":309.84,"endTime":311.8,"body":"time around."},{"startTime":311.8,"endTime":315.84,"body":"Now if you haven't seen the movie, and you've made it this far in this episode,"},{"startTime":315.84,"endTime":317.78,"body":"you really should go watch it."},{"startTime":317.78,"endTime":319.72,"body":"No spoiler alerts here."},{"startTime":319.72,"endTime":321.58,"body":"And if it's been a while since you've seen it,"},{"startTime":321.58,"endTime":324.94,"body":"it might be worth it over this break to watch it again."},{"startTime":324.94,"endTime":326.64,"body":"I can tell you that it impacted me"},{"startTime":326.64,"endTime":327.96,"body":"pretty hard this time around,"},{"startTime":327.96,"endTime":331.56,"body":"and I'm still processing not so much what I saw or heard,"},{"startTime":331.56,"endTime":333.48,"body":"as much as what it stirred within me."},{"startTime":333.48,"endTime":334.8,"body":"The story goes like this."},{"startTime":334.8,"endTime":339.34,"body":"Young Bastion is a fairly normal elementary school aged kid who has recently lost his"},{"startTime":339.34,"endTime":340.34,"body":"mom."},{"startTime":340.34,"endTime":344.06,"body":"He's struggling in school, he's being bullied, but he loves to read."},{"startTime":344.06,"endTime":345.9,"body":"It's his escape."},{"startTime":345.9,"endTime":350.9,"body":"Trying to escape his tormentors one day on the way to school, he takes cover in a bookstore"},{"startTime":350.9,"endTime":357.22,"body":"where a grumpy old owner is reading this ornately decorated, leather-bound book."},{"startTime":357.22,"endTime":365.64,"body":"The shop owner gets distracted by a phone call and a curious bastion snatches it and leaves a"},{"startTime":365.64,"endTime":371.2,"body":"handwritten promise to return it. Once he gets to school he takes cover in what I"},{"startTime":371.2,"endTime":376.04,"body":"believe today is a storage attic at his school which at the time didn't make any"},{"startTime":376.04,"endTime":380.72,"body":"sense to nine-year-old me because my school had no such places to hide that I"},{"startTime":380.72,"endTime":385.12,"body":"was aware of. Here's another part where younger viewers probably wouldn't get"},{"startTime":385.12,"endTime":388.16,"body":"the movie because if it happened today his dad probably"},{"startTime":388.16,"endTime":392.28,"body":"would have gotten a text message or an email alert that his kid never showed up"},{"startTime":392.28,"endTime":397.52,"body":"for school. Dad would have texted kid, kid would have realized that he was busted"},{"startTime":397.52,"endTime":403.76,"body":"and he would have headed to class. But in 1984, Bastion finds himself stashed away"},{"startTime":403.76,"endTime":413.86,"body":"in an attic. He finds a blanket, locates matches and some candles and he manages to spend the rest of the day and part of the night reading"},{"startTime":413.86,"endTime":419.3,"body":"alone with open flames in the attic of his school next to forgotten skeletons and theater"},{"startTime":419.3,"endTime":421.14,"body":"production props."},{"startTime":421.14,"endTime":424.88,"body":"Ok cool not a bad way to spend the day but whatever."},{"startTime":424.88,"endTime":430.64,"body":"So as Bastion reads and sometimes narrates the story we learn of the world of Fantasia"},{"startTime":430.64,"endTime":438.62,"body":"which is being consumed by a mysterious nothing. Led by a childlike Empress who has fallen ill, Fantasia's people"},{"startTime":438.62,"endTime":445.62,"body":"turn to Atreyu and his trusty steed Artax to race to find the cure for the Empress,"},{"startTime":445.62,"endTime":449.92,"body":"so that the nothing can be defeated and Fantasia will be saved."},{"startTime":449.92,"endTime":455.92,"body":"Sounds simple enough. So Atreyu is this young, confident, capable warrior. His best friend"},{"startTime":455.92,"endTime":462.72,"body":"by a side, or in our case, under saddle, and they set off to defeat this mysterious adversary"},{"startTime":462.72,"endTime":468.94,"body":"that they really know nothing about. Sounds like me in my early adult years. So then we"},{"startTime":468.94,"endTime":470.94,"body":"hear this."},{"startTime":470.94,"endTime":486.48,"body":"A trail in our tax had searched the silver mountains, the desert of shattered hopes, and the crystal towers, without success."},{"startTime":486.48,"endTime":495.08,"body":"And so there was only one chance left, to find Morla, the Ancient One, the wisest"},{"startTime":495.08,"endTime":501.92,"body":"being in Phantasia, whose home was the Shell Mountain, somewhere in the deadly"},{"startTime":501.92,"endTime":505.76,"body":"swamps of sadness."},{"startTime":505.76,"endTime":515.48,"body":"Now, as a kid, these place names meant literally nothing to me."},{"startTime":515.48,"endTime":517.48,"body":"I don't even think they registered."},{"startTime":517.48,"endTime":521.08,"body":"I didn't have a job that would earn me any silver."},{"startTime":521.08,"endTime":526.92,"body":"I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, let alone had had those hopes shattered."},{"startTime":526.92,"endTime":534.24,"body":"And I lacked the need for clarity that a view from the crystal towers would have probably provided. But Atreyu and Artax had already begun to lose their"},{"startTime":534.24,"endTime":540.72,"body":"innocence in this journey. They'd searched the Silver Mountains and they found no clues,"},{"startTime":540.72,"endTime":545.52,"body":"something I can certainly relate to in chasing after a dollar. They'd made their way through"},{"startTime":545.52,"endTime":552.12,"body":"the desert of shattered hopes with empty hands. And boy, who hasn't? And then they left the"},{"startTime":552.12,"endTime":558.04,"body":"the crystal towers, no closer to the answer either."},{"startTime":558.04,"endTime":563.48,"body":"What was next is relatable, the swamps of sadness."},{"startTime":563.48,"endTime":568.36,"body":"When our climb up success mountain doesn't satisfy, it's not uncommon that depression"},{"startTime":568.36,"endTime":570.52,"body":"frequently follows."},{"startTime":570.52,"endTime":573.56,"body":"And if not for us personally, certainly someone around us."},{"startTime":573.56,"endTime":580.4,"body":"Inadequacy, insecurity, and doubt creep in like a sludge that we have to find our way to traipse through and"},{"startTime":580.4,"endTime":582.4,"body":"Either you do or you don't"},{"startTime":582.4,"endTime":588.76,"body":"Sadly in one of the most traumatic scenes many of your genetics friends and relatives can ever recall seeing a"},{"startTime":588.76,"endTime":594.16,"body":"Tre you watches helplessly as his best friend allows the sadness to overtake him"},{"startTime":594.16,"endTime":602.6,"body":"It's okay."},{"startTime":602.6,"endTime":610.2,"body":"Everyone knew that whoever let the sadness overtake him would sink into the swamp."},{"startTime":610.2,"endTime":613.2,"body":"Come on, boy."},{"startTime":613.2,"endTime":616.2,"body":"What's the matter?"},{"startTime":616.2,"endTime":617.2,"body":"Artax!"},{"startTime":617.2,"endTime":618.2,"body":"You're sinking!"},{"startTime":618.2,"endTime":619.2,"body":"Come on!"},{"startTime":619.2,"endTime":620.2,"body":"Turn around!"},{"startTime":620.2,"endTime":622.2,"body":"What's the matter?"},{"startTime":622.2,"endTime":624.2,"body":"Artax! You're sinking!"},{"startTime":624.2,"endTime":626.2,"body":"Come on! Turn around!"},{"startTime":626.2,"endTime":628.2,"body":"You have to now!"},{"startTime":628.2,"endTime":630.2,"body":"Fight against the sadness, Artax!"},{"startTime":630.2,"endTime":631.2,"body":"Please?"},{"startTime":631.2,"endTime":634.2,"body":"You're letting the sadness of the swans get to you."},{"startTime":634.2,"endTime":636.2,"body":"You have to try."},{"startTime":636.2,"endTime":638.2,"body":"You have to care."},{"startTime":638.2,"endTime":640.2,"body":"For me."},{"startTime":640.2,"endTime":642.2,"body":"You're my friend."},{"startTime":642.2,"endTime":651.0,"body":"I love you."},{"startTime":651.0,"endTime":653.0,"body":"I'm crying!"},{"startTime":653.0,"endTime":657.0,"body":"All 18 or so of us 9 year olds in that library that morning,"},{"startTime":657.0,"endTime":664.0,"body":"watched helplessly as Atreyu's best friend Artax sank slowly to his death."},{"startTime":664.0,"endTime":681.12,"body":"But hey, the music and the special effects were great though, am I right? Atreyu is understandably gripped with sadness. We zoom in on emotionless"},{"startTime":681.12,"endTime":686.88,"body":"in the swamp, and who wouldn't have been in a thinly veiled symbolism for death by suicide,"},{"startTime":686.88,"endTime":693.44,"body":"his friend is gone. And now Atreyu is wondering what he could have or should have done to stop it."},{"startTime":693.44,"endTime":702.98,"body":"He's nearly taken by a mysterious wolf that we'll see later and would have perished himself if it hadn't been for Falkor the Luck Dragon who scoops him out of"},{"startTime":702.98,"endTime":709.96,"body":"the pit and flies him to safety. In the moment, it seemed like nothing but happy chance that this"},{"startTime":709.96,"endTime":711.96,"body":"lovable, huge, white,"},{"startTime":711.96,"endTime":715.72,"body":"dog-like flying creature was in the right place at the right time to save him."},{"startTime":715.72,"endTime":726.72,"body":"Now I don't know about you, but this time around, this quote hit me. We've seen rates of depression"},{"startTime":726.72,"endTime":730.64,"body":"and anxiety higher than ever in recorded human history in the past three years."},{"startTime":730.64,"endTime":737.2,"body":"Death by suicide has impacted countless people that I know and care about, but seeing it portrayed"},{"startTime":737.2,"endTime":742.88,"body":"as a bright-eyed young warrior who thinks he has this quest all figured out in searching for money,"},{"startTime":742.88,"endTime":752.76,"body":"mountains, aspirations, desert of shattered hopes, or even vision, crystal towers. Only"},{"startTime":752.76,"endTime":757.52,"body":"to come up empty handed after all of them and find himself stuck in the mud and the"},{"startTime":757.52,"endTime":766.24,"body":"despair of the swamps of sadness. That hit home. But there was hope. My favorite Falcor"},{"startTime":766.24,"endTime":782.42,"body":"dragon to the rescue."},{"startTime":782.42,"endTime":786.68,"body":"And if you never give up, luck will find you."},{"startTime":786.68,"endTime":791.2,"body":"Once Trau is rescued, he finds himself without his best friend, but still with a quest to"},{"startTime":791.2,"endTime":792.2,"body":"complete."},{"startTime":792.2,"endTime":795.32,"body":"He's in the middle of a journey."},{"startTime":795.32,"endTime":798.28,"body":"He's got a long way to go to try and save Fantasia"},{"startTime":798.28,"endTime":799.32,"body":"from the nothing."},{"startTime":799.32,"endTime":801.6,"body":"Maybe you felt your own nothing."},{"startTime":801.6,"endTime":805.28,"body":"It isn't something because like they say in the movie,"},{"startTime":805.28,"endTime":807.16,"body":"that would be something."},{"startTime":807.16,"endTime":811.2,"body":"It's literally nothing, a hungering void."},{"startTime":811.2,"endTime":813.52,"body":"Maybe it's a need to bring something into the world"},{"startTime":813.52,"endTime":815.48,"body":"that only you can create."},{"startTime":815.48,"endTime":823.0,"body":"Recent guest John Miller spoke about this feeling. Maybe it's a need to connect."},{"startTime":823.0,"endTime":832.84,"body":"Maybe it's a need to do less. A move from success to significance. From daily duty to"},{"startTime":832.84,"endTime":839.94,"body":"lasting legacy. That's enough for now. I'll finish up my interrogation and investigation"},{"startTime":839.94,"endTime":845.2,"body":"of a nearly 40 year old movie in the next installment of Word to the Third, and I fully anticipate"},{"startTime":845.2,"endTime":847.92,"body":"that you'll be waiting on Pussy Needles in the meantime."},{"startTime":847.92,"endTime":860.34,"body":"Well, that wraps up another week."},{"startTime":860.34,"endTime":861.34,"body":"What about you?"},{"startTime":861.34,"endTime":862.92,"body":"What are you working on or waiting for?"},{"startTime":862.92,"endTime":865.48,"body":"And what are you doing in the meantime to get better every day?"},{"startTime":865.48,"endTime":868.44,"body":"I'd love to help and I'd love to hear about it."},{"startTime":868.44,"endTime":871.98,"body":"Surf on over to undonepodcast.com and drop me a note."},{"startTime":871.98,"endTime":875.2,"body":"For more info on today's episode, be sure to check it out on the web."},{"startTime":875.2,"endTime":880.2,"body":"Simply go to undonepodcast.com backslash EP six, nine to see the notes,"},{"startTime":880.2,"endTime":882.98,"body":"links and images related to today's show."},{"startTime":882.98,"endTime":885.46,"body":"The nothing I'm Toby Brooks."},{"startTime":885.46,"endTime":886.4,"body":"And this has been"},{"startTime":886.4,"endTime":888.9,"body":"becoming undone is a nitro hype, creative production written and"},{"startTime":888.9,"endTime":890.4,"body":"produced by me, Toby Brooks."},{"startTime":890.4,"endTime":915.44,"body":"If you or someone, you know, has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone,"},{"startTime":915.44,"endTime":921.24,"body":"contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at"},{"startTime":921.24,"endTime":925.96,"body":"Becoming Undone Pod, and follow me at Toby J. Brooks. Listen, subscribe, and leave"},{"startTime":925.96,"endTime":932.48,"body":"me a review at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until"},{"startTime":932.48,"endTime":936.4,"body":"next time everybody, keep getting better."},{"startTime":936.4,"endTime":959.12,"body":"Thanks for watching!"}]}