[TRANSCRIPT]
0:00:00 - (Ashley Adams): What's really funny, every time somebody asks that, they don't believe me, but I have pictures to back it up. In kindergarten, they did, what do you want to be? And I said, the Texas tech master writer. I thought that was something you got into. That was a career. It was always in the back of my mind. It just didn't become prevalent until, really, I came back home. I tried out three times. So the first one kind of stung a little bit where you're like, oh, I think I would have been really good at that. But I did. Didn't understand that I needed to grow where I even got there. And then Cameron's year Covid happened. We were supposed to do our interviews. We spent that full summer really in limbo in the moment. I just remember thinking, why not me? And then I knew as long as I was in school, I was going to try for it. Our boss told us, I'll call you at noon. And it's like, 1130. And I've got my phone open, and I'm just like, refreshing the email. And then phone rang, and I just started crying. And so I answered, and she's, hey, Ashley, it's Stephanie. And I'm like, yes, ma'am, I know.
0:00:54 - (Ashley Adams): I have some really good news. I have some really bad news. What do you want to hear first? And I was like, bad news? She goes, bad news is you have to spend a year with me. Good news is, we'd like to offer you the position as the 60th master rider. I am Ashley Adams, and I am undone.
0:01:24 - (Toby Brooks): Hey, friend, I'm glad you're here. Welcome to another episode of Becoming Undone, the podcast for those who dare bravely, risk mindedly, and grow relentlessly. Now recognized as a top 10% podcast globally in a year where my one word is gratitude, it goes without saying that I'm incredibly thankful and grateful to you for joining me. I'm Toby Brooks, a professor at the Texas Tech University Health Sciences center, an author, and a speaker, I've spent much of the last two decades working as an athletic trainer and strength coach in professional college and high school sports.
0:01:55 - (Toby Brooks): Over the years, I've grown more and more fascinated with what sets high achievers apart and how failures that can suck in the moment can end up being exactly the push we needed to propel us onward and upward on our journey towards success. Each week on becoming undone, I invite new guests to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. I'd like to emphasize that this show is entirely separate from my roles at Texas Tech, but it's my attempt to apply what I've learned and what I'm learning and to share with others about the mindsets of high achievers.
0:02:26 - (Toby Brooks): If this is your first episode, you've picked a great one. After my first year podcasting, I've learned lots and lots of lessons. I've had the pleasure of interviewing some incredible guests, so be sure to scroll back through that backlog and pick out some of my previous guests high achievers who didn't let failure or setbacks stand in the way of their eventual victories. And if you're a regular, I was reading about you just this week.
0:02:49 - (Toby Brooks): You're what they call an early adopter and every business startup has them. You're my tribe and you have been such an encouragement on this trip. So I'm thankful and eternally grateful to you for the love and support. Sincerely, thank you. For Lubbock native Ashley Adams childhood dreams of being the iconic Texas Tech University masked writer were things a fantasy akin to wanting to be a superhero, like Wonder Woman or Supergirl?
0:03:16 - (Toby Brooks): If you aren't familiar, the Masked Rider tradition goes back all the way to 1936, and in total, as of 2024, there have been 62 different masked riders who famously, among other things, lead the football team onto the field for home football games. It's college sports pageantry without equal for these eyes. When that little girl with those big dreams grew up and have decided to pursue first a bachelor's and eventually a master's degree at Tech, the opportunity eventually became more than just a childhood fantasy.
0:03:47 - (Toby Brooks): It was a possibility. Unfortunately, at least at the time. In 2019, Ashley was heartbroken to learn that although she'd been brave enough to try out for the prestigious spot, she didn't get it. Undeterred, she tried again in 2020 and again just missed out. But in that space between heartbroken rejection and a time of coming undone, she discovered purpose and maturity and providence. Fair warning to y'all, this interview got to me, and I was an emotional wreck pretty much the whole time.
0:04:24 - (Toby Brooks): As the 60th masked writer and now marketing manager for, wait for it, masked Rider Capital, Ashley Adams tells her story in episode 74, fearless. This week's guest is a familiar figure to many Texas tech fans, but shrouded in mystery behind that mask. Former masked writer Ashley Adams joining us today. Welcome, Ashley.
0:04:48 - (Ashley Adams): Thank you for having me.
0:04:50 - (Toby Brooks): I'm really excited about this one. The Texas tech masked rider for guests that aren't familiar, probably the most visible thing you do is lead the football team on the field. But that is by no means the only thing you do. And I've been amazed as I did some research, how many appearances you do as an ambassador for the university. And as cool as that is, oftentimes we don't realize that there's a story behind that figure on the horse, and that's a pinnacle achievement for those who are honored to have it. And so I'm looking forward to digging in and hearing your story.
0:05:25 - (Toby Brooks): So I always start with a little bit of a softball. What did you want to be growing up and why?
0:05:29 - (Ashley Adams): It's really funny. Every time somebody asks that, they don't believe me, but I have pictures to back it up. In kindergarten, they did, what do you want to be? And I said, the Texas Tech master. Like, I thought that was something you got into and you got to. That was a career I followed. There were several master riders that I knew when I was super, super young. And we followed one of the poor master riders around everywhere. She was. My mom was like, you just gravitated there. And so I have always said that I wanted to be the tech master rider, and I thought it was something you got to be forever and ever. But I'm honored I got the opportunity to do it for a year. And that's what I've said I always wanted to be when I grew up.
0:06:09 - (Toby Brooks): With dreams and aspirations like that, I'm guessing you're from the area, so start at the beginning for you, wherever that was.
0:06:16 - (Ashley Adams): So I was born and raised in Lubbock. Funny. I did an internship in Oklahoma when I was 17 in high school. And I remember telling my mom, like, I had moved to Oklahoma, like, taking my horse first time out of Lubbock. And I just remember telling my mom, I can't go back to high school. I can't go back to. The biggest thing is, did I remember my phone charger and she and my dad were, okay, just keep lumping your horses. It'll be good. You can come back. The more time I spent there during the summer, the more at 17, if you didn't wake up for your alarm, there was nobody getting you up for work. And I got to see a glimpse into a world that as a kid, you only dreamed of.
0:07:00 - (Ashley Adams): And so then I asked my then boss, and I was like, how do I get where you're at? And he's like, your education, the biggest thing you can do for yourself. Courses can be gone, money can be gone, but you have to have an education to fall back on. And I remember thinking that's about what I wanted to hear, because you're 17 and you think you know it all. And I started really looking at where I wanted to go to school.
0:07:23 - (Ashley Adams): And having been from Lubbock, I always said, I don't want to stay at Tech. I want to move off. I want to go and do bigger things for myself and prove that if you're local to Lubbock, everyone's, oh, you're staying in Lubbock. And you're like, I viewed it very different than I do now. And then I started doing my research on Texas tech, and I was like, man, if I'm going to go anywhere, this is the school. This is the school I want to go to.
0:07:47 - (Ashley Adams): They have a ranch horse team that I had the honor of competing on and being a part of some national titles over on that side. But they also had the education of what I wanted to do. And so, funny, I said, never say him. And I got my bachelor's and my master's, and I would give anything back to this university, and Lubbock is home. And so it's just funny that circle that it comes back, that being from Lubbock didn't want to stay. And then now you're like, man, this is happiness. Is Lubbock, Texas, growing nearer and near? Honestly?
0:08:20 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. I think oftentimes when we grow up in the midst of something, we don't really appreciate it. And it almost takes time or season or at least the consideration of being away to really appreciate it. So you end up at tech, you pursue both your bachelor's and your master's in animal sciences. At that point in your growth and progression, where did the mask writer fit in? Was it still childhood dream, or was it something that you were actively working?
0:08:52 - (Ashley Adams): My. So I feel like I should back up being from Lubbock. We had gone to football games when I was like, I think, three or four, and my parents were just hopeful that they could make it to halftime, and they said that they got to stay the whole game because I just constantly was watching for the horse and finding it, and my parents were like, oh, maybe this is just a phase. And it had always been in the back of my mind, but during my bachelor's, I was really happy showing on the ranch row scene. I got to show my horse I was doing. Not that you've got your blinders on, because it all happened for the right reason in the right time, and I truly believe that. But I was like, no, this is what I want to do. And it wasn't until my senior year I was like, ooh, I don't know.
0:09:33 - (Ashley Adams): This has always been a dream. I had friends that had done it, and I had just really seen it from a very outside lens. So I tried out the first time in 2017, didn't get it. Graduated the following month. Went and worked over in Aubrey, Texas for a bit and just really realized that I was not in the right place. And grad school became an option, and so I came back home, and one of my best friends at the time was the 57th mass writer. And moving home, just a lot of things had happened in my life, like that move back home.
0:10:07 - (Ashley Adams): We had some family. We lost my grumpy. So many things had happened, and I remember being really unhappy. And Lindy was like, why don't you come with me to a few appearances? I need the help. You need something to do. And so that was the first time that I remember being back around in the industry and thinking, oh, I missed this. This was always a dream. And getting to see what she went through on the backside, because everyone, you see the football runs, but you don't see everything behind the scenes. And I remember thinking, like, okay, I'm coming for my master's. I've got to try for myself. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But I can always say I at least tried.
0:10:46 - (Ashley Adams): And I had the honor to work for Emily Broadbeck, who is the 50 eigth master writer, and then Cameron Hecker, the 59th. And so that really helps you see behind the scenes. And Cameron's was Covid, and Emily's was normal all the way up until Covid. We were packing the trailer for her to go to rodeo Houston, and we were told, no, put a pin in it. And everyone thought, oh, it'll be over in a week. You all can just go at a later date.
0:11:14 - (Toby Brooks): So let's reset here for a moment. Ashley dreams of being the masked writer and tries out as a senior in undergrad. She doesn't get it. And the honor of the 57th masked writer goes to Lindy Starr. Disappointed but unbroken, Ashley eventually makes her way back to campus, this time as a grad student with that big dream still tucked away, yet to be chased. Wiser, she regroups and restrategizes, recognizing that landing the job will take more than just one good interview.
0:11:42 - (Toby Brooks): It will take a complete and continuous commitment to the role. She resolves to be at her best at all times and to give it another shot. But things still don't quite go according to plan.
0:11:54 - (Ashley Adams): So it had always been a dream and it had always been something I was working towards. And I was very mindful. When I came back for my master's of you're trying out the second you step on campus. You never know who's going to be in the interview. You never know whose you see it all the time. You never know whose daughter you talked to that they thought you were really great or really not great. And so just everybody is building this view of you, and you are the official mascot, so you do have to have all the I's dotted, t's crossed, and be able to fit into this role that tech is comfortable trusting you with because it's massive. And so, really, to answer, to sum it all up, it was always in the back of my mind. It just didn't become prevalent until, really, I came back home and I got to fall in love with it behind the scenes. Like, I'd always known what it was in front of the screen, the publicity of it.
0:12:46 - (Ashley Adams): But truly what it was is I got to fall in love with the horse, with fearless champion. And I remember thinking, oh, if I'm going to do this, I want to do it with this horse. And not that any other horse wouldn't have been an honor, because it would have, but I think every master rider will always say, my horse was the greatest thing to ever be here. And because of him, you get so many opportunities.
0:13:08 - (Ashley Adams): And seeing him behind the scenes for three riders, then when it became my turn, you're like, this is the fairy tale. This is what every girl dreams of when you want to be the master writer. He fully let us do that.
0:13:19 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, I want to go back because this is a childhood dream. And in my research, I came across that picture of you dressed up as a little cute little masked rider.
0:13:28 - (Ashley Adams): Yes, sir.
0:13:29 - (Toby Brooks): And you're manifesting that in your mind as an undergrad, and you're trying out, and this is your shot, and you get told no. Talk me through how you moved forward after that disappointment.
0:13:46 - (Ashley Adams): Both times were a little bit different of a disappointment. So I tried out three times. The first two times, I obviously didn't get it, and the third I did. And so the first time, I really know in the back of my mind, there's no way this is going to beat me because you really need to be involved behind the scenes, but you might get to the final interview. So you're like, there's a shot. Like, I have better ods at this than I do anything else in life. And the first time, I think I was really at peace with it, where you're like, okay, the girl that went to Laurie Tolboom she was totally, it was her time and her moment.
0:14:22 - (Ashley Adams): So the first one kind of stung a little bit where you're like, oh, I think I would have been really good at that. But I didn't understand that I needed to grow as an individual before I even got there. And then Cameron's year, so I had volunteered my time for Lindy a little bit. Really just now. I get it as a, I want to. That's cool. You're like, come with. Not. I can put you to work in a bad way, but I can show you and I need the help. Come on. And so working for Emily, you're, this is, I feel like I'm as good as anyone to get this. And Covid happened, we were supposed to do our interviews and we had told, okay, we're going to be able to resume this. And we were like two days out from the final interview. There were three of us and we were told, we don't know when it's going to happen, how it's going to happen. So we spent that full summer really in limbo. And I remember telling my mom, like, I just want to know if it's meant to be for me. I'm going to run as hard at this as I can, but if it's not, I'd like to be able to feel like I can close that door for a little bit and not just be sitting there going back and forth.
0:15:29 - (Toby Brooks): Holy cow. The wisdom in this sentiment far exceeds Ashley's youth. And I'm stirred nearly to tears even as we speak during the interview. The maturity and the vision to see that if something is God's plan for me, we'll get my best possible effort. In Ashley's words, if it's meant to be for me, I'm going to run as hard at this as I can. But if it's not, I can close the door. If you're like me, there are plenty of times in life where you feel stuck between a past you've outgrown a little bit and a future you aren't quite sure.
0:16:03 - (Toby Brooks): The trick is to keep your enthusiasm when things don't go your way, all while putting in the work to make that future happen. Ashley saw that purpose. That didn't mean that things were about.
0:16:14 - (Ashley Adams): To get any easier when Cameron got the phone call. So if you get it, you get a phone call. If you don't, you get an email saying, thank you for trying out. We appreciate it, but you didn't get selected. And I remember getting that email and just everything left where you're I? Cameron did amazing. And so I never mean it, but you're sitting there going, but why her? Why not? It's not. It wasn't a Cameron. It could have been. You could have lost anyone. And you're like, why not me? I feel like all of these boxes, I check, that you all need. I check, and I check. Really great. And I remember leaving and going to Oklahoma for a little bit to see the 57th rider. Lindy. She was working up in Oklahoma, and her boss had said, tod said, he was like, maybe that's a blessing. Like, Covid, we don't know.
0:17:05 - (Ashley Adams): And that was the first time that I had heard it from somebody who wasn't my family, who wasn't your friends, who had no reason, and not that he doesn't support you, but it was the outside. Maybe it's a blessing. And I was like, oh, maybe you're right. And I learned so much watching Cameron go through some really, like, the public prep I got from her year of people asking, why can't y'all be at this? What about this? It really helped build me into my year. And now I look back and I am so grateful that God didn't say no. We just said, not right now. Because if I had gotten it, Cameron's year, I don't want to misquote it. She did a little over 100 appearances, maybe 130, which we hit 200 appearances by homecoming week, my year. And so it's so easy to look back. Once you feel like you've got that crystal ball and all the answers, you can look back and go, we broke records. I had the most amazing girl and teams. I got to retire the greatest horse this university.
0:18:06 - (Ashley Adams): I know we will have great horses like we have a great horse right now. But in my mind, the greatest horse, I got to take him on his farewell tour for the first time in two years. Got to run at Houston and Fort Worth and just. He let me fall in love with myself again. In a way.
0:18:24 - (Toby Brooks): This is so soul stirringly powerful to me. Try as she might to put on a good face, be a team player, and keep working in the face of not one, but now two rejections for the job of her childhood dreams. To be so close when she was a finalist literally on the threshold, only to be turned away, the journey had undoubtedly wounded Ashley. You heard her. When that doubt and questioning starts to seep in, why not me?
0:18:53 - (Toby Brooks): And to summon the strength and courage it took to try one more time to find victory, as Ashley put it, fearless champion, the iconic black horse who had carried eight other masked riders before her let her fall in love with herself again. Times it's a friend, times it's a loved one. For Ashley, it was all of the above. And he happened to have four hooves and a thundering gate every day.
0:19:18 - (Ashley Adams): You're with him all the time. And he just, it all worked out for a reason. And I'm so grateful I didn't get it Lori and Cameron's year, because I wouldn't have had my year. And I think any master rider can say that because each year is so specific and unique. Ashley Hartzog, they had ESPN college game day, and so she got to run midnight matador up the engineering key. I got to run at the bowl game. This year's mass rider got to go to New York for the Macy state parade. Caroline got to bring in a new horse and ten year old champion. And so each year, so specific and unique. And I think it's really easy once you've set in that saddle to go, oh, there's a reason. There's a reason it didn't happen. But in the moment, I just remember thinking, why not me?
0:20:01 - (Ashley Adams): I do this, I could be great at it. But then you look back and you're like, okay, I get it now.
0:20:07 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, that's so powerful. And so as you're talking, I certainly can relate, because that first disappointment sings a little, but you're like, I'll make another run at it.
0:20:17 - (Ashley Adams): Yeah.
0:20:18 - (Toby Brooks): After the second one, where were you mentally? Was that pretty much it, or did you feel like you were going to rally and make another run at it at another time?
0:20:27 - (Ashley Adams): I knew as long as I was in school, I was going to try for it, because I'm the personality that if I didn't, I would always look back and should have, could have. That could have been me. And so I knew for myself, as long as I was in school, at tech, I was going to be trying out. And at some point you have to do stop and evaluate. Are there just better candidates than me that I can just keep getting better, or do you truly not fit the role? And I remember walking out the interview, I got it. So it was on Zoom, and so it was a little bit different. I was used to the other interviews. You walk into a boardroom, they sit you at the head of the table, and there are 15 to 20 people questioning you. And it's very intimidating where you just sit there and you're like, these are the people that, when you get it, you work very closely with.
0:21:17 - (Ashley Adams): And so I remember all the prep ahead for the zoom because I wanted the lighting to look good, my outfit to look good, like my four parents. We probably did 30 Zoom interviews. I'd go up to my mom's office, situate everything to make sure that you were putting your best foot forward, because you're like, they can't meet me. They can't see me. This is as close as you get. And I remember being done with the interview, getting done, telling my mom and sister because they were sitting right outside the door. My whole family was so supportive.
0:21:46 - (Ashley Adams): And I remember thinking, if this isn't my time, this is as good as I get. It was the first interview I walked out of piece. If I thought it, I was going to run as hard at it that I had ever done anything. But if I didn't, that was my answer of, this is as good as I feel. And unless there's just something I'm not seeing, I don't think this will ever be me. And I remember being so at peace with it and so nervous at the same time. I can go back to that day where our boss told us, I'll call you at noon. And it's like, 1130. And I've got my phone open, and I'm just like, refreshing the email because you're like, okay. You start feeling like there's no way. You start getting in your own head of like, why of all the people, why do I deserve this honor? Like, why me?
0:22:31 - (Ashley Adams): And then phone rang, and I just remember stopping. And I was at my parents house, and my mom and sister were there, and I just remember looking at them, and I just started crying. And my mom's answering, hold on. And so I answer, and Stephanie Rhode, who, she's the director of the spirit program, and we call her, she's our people boss. Like, she makes sure that the ministry, you as a person, is putting your best foot forward. And so we've got three bosses. And so we always cite she's your person boss. And she's, hey, Ashley, it's Stephanie. And I'm like, yes, ma'am, I know.
0:23:01 - (Ashley Adams): I have some really good news. I have some really bad news. What do you want to hear first? And I was like, bad news. She goes, bad news is you have to spend a year with me. And she goes, good news is, we'd like to offer you the position as the 60th mass rider. Is this something you want to do? And I was like, I couldn't even get it. And I was like, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. And so she's, okay, take a moment. Go through. And she knows I was not her first master writer. I think she's 30 of.
0:23:28 - (Ashley Adams): She's 20 to 30. She's had a significant amount of master writers. And so she understands that day of the phone call, just all of a sudden it hits you, and she's. Cameron's going to be in touch. Y'all will start doing behind the scenes process moving forward. And I just remember getting off the phone with her and just crying and just walling. And so then you go through the whole calling everyone. Like, I called my dad, I called my uncles, and for about three weeks before the public knows, because you've got to get fitted for everything, meet the people you need to. And it starts really setting in. I remember driving past the Jones, and I'm driving past, and you can see it used to be Lori was on one of those stairs, and Rachel was, like, on the parking garage and seeing that, and I just started crying again. And I am not emotional. And I just remember thinking, oh, this is me.
0:24:23 - (Ashley Adams): This is happening. And for a little bit. So it helps you get mentally, start preparing for it, start going through what I want to do, how I want to start shaping my year. And the most important thing is finding your assistance, finding the girls that are going or guides to help you through your year. But in that three weeks, I've got it. I always spoke. I have an uncle that loves tech, went to everything for me, and I called him, and he was so excited, and I was like, if you say anything to anyone before tech announces it, anything.
0:24:56 - (Ashley Adams): He was like, what? And I said, dennis, this is tech's news to give. It's not my news to share. It's not your news to share. This is Texas text news. And he was like, how do I keep this a secret? And I was like, you call me, you call my mom, or you call Berkeley, or you call grandma, and you can talk to them about it. And he was the first one at transfer of reins. It was my parents, my grandma, and him. And that's how big of a support system I had my year. And so it really is just incredible, the process, that it starts moving you forward through, and rapidly, too, because you're trying on the blacks at dollar western wear, and that's the first time you see yourself in a black shirt, black jeans, and your boots tucked in, and you're like, okay. But it still feels like far enough away where you're like, we've got three weeks. Something's going to happen between now and then that I don't get this. That's what I kept telling myself. And then you try your cape on for the first time and then you get your mask and then all of a sudden the day of transfer reigns and you're like, okay, we still have 2 hours. Like something can happen. And then all of a sudden you're walking out and you're tacking up fearless champion for the first time at transfer of reigns. When the mouse rider gets on the horse, that is the first time they have ever set on that horse. And I think it's amazing because you've got to have as the rider transferring it up until that moment horse is yours. But when you're new, I remember looking down and seeing his neck and the black saddle and the black jeans and the cape and going, oh, I get this for a year.
0:26:33 - (Ashley Adams): And then you go through, you take them home and you put them up and you're okay, what's next? And what's next is I already had ten appearances on my calendar. So that's the other side that the public doesn't see a lot is you're a full time student at the same time. So I'm working through my master's the summer. It gives you a really good time because I didn't have classes. And you get to really learn your role and you get to figure it out because you've been the assistant, you've been the one making the judgment calls of, hey, it's time to leave. Hey, it's this like kind of helping that writer through things. And then all of a sudden your girls are sitting there asking you, do you want this? Do you want that? And you're like, to make those calls. And so it's a little bit of a transition and you know what you're getting into, but you don't at the same time because you've always been on the backside. Like you get to leave after football.
0:27:26 - (Ashley Adams): We get home from football at 06:00 kickoff at ten or 11:00 at night. My girls got to go home and it was eleven or twelve or 01:00 before I'd get to leave. And they got to sleep in on Sunday mornings and I was back up at six making sure fearless was eating and he was turned out and all these things. And I had amazing girls. And so there's so much. Until you get into it, you're like, oh, wow, there's way more behind it than I ever realized.
0:27:56 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head. And my next question was going to be related to that. This little girl that had dreams saw this horse running out on a football field. And that's a few seconds.
0:28:07 - (Ashley Adams): Yes, sir.
0:28:08 - (Toby Brooks): When it happens. And you're named the 60th masked Rider. What? In that year, you had a peek under the hood. You knew what it was, but sometimes you just really can't understand a role until it's been given to you. So what were some surprises of that year that maybe you weren't fully prepared for?
0:28:28 - (Ashley Adams): Everything. Honestly, the biggest thing, the thing I had to learn the quickest was how to leave everything at home. When you're in that truck, you're Texas tech. When you're outside of that truck, you're still Texas tech because people always recognize you. And so for me, really learning, I could separate my personal, my professional life really easy, maybe sometimes a little too good, where you forget that you are somebody outside of this role. And so learning your role is really hard. But again, fearless made it so easy. I think if he could have talked, it would have been like, kid, I know where to take you. I just need you there so that I can go where I'm going, but also being a boss, being a leader. So I had four amazing girls that helped me through my year. And you're so close to them in age. I was significantly older because I was 25 when I was math Rider, and they were all sophomores, juniors, and Michaela was a senior. But you're friends with them. You pick people that you know are going to be in your corner, that you've got to have them there on your best days celebrating with you. But they were also the girls that ran to me on my worst days and let me were the best group of girls I could ever ask for, learning how to.
0:29:52 - (Ashley Adams): That your friends. And they are doing this because they love you. They love the horse, and they love the program. They get no recognition. They're not on the football screen. They're not the ones people are taking pictures of. They're the ones that, as you're walking down the ramp to football and the horse poops, they've got to stop and clean it up. They're the ones that are moving people out of your way and making those enemies and not enemies that move it. People don't like to be stubbed, that thinks they're like, why can't I keep walking? And they're like, we've got a corpse coming through. And so these girls sacrificed a year of their life to let me live out my dream. And those four girls, I can never tell them, thank you enough. We got to go to Memphis and run at the bowl game. And so part of it, it was such a long trip out there, we had to break it up. And so we left here on Christmas day, drove to Dallas. One of my assistants met me in lubbock and drove with me from lubbock to Dallas.
0:30:46 - (Ashley Adams): Caroline's family was from Dallas, and so we ate Christmas dinner with them. Fearless stayed at her family friend's barn, and then we left the 26th to drive the rest of the way up to Memphis. That botched their whole Christmas day plan. And when I called them all, and that's, again when you're getting invitation to run, you're like, there's no way this happens. That's what I kept feeling like my whole year. There's no way this gets to happen. There are so many moving parts. And I called them all, and I was like, you all don't have to say yes, because here's the timeline I've built out. Here's what we're having to do. Here's where we're needed, and that means we need to leave. We need to be in Dallas.
0:31:23 - (Ashley Adams): Leave in Dallas at 26, so you all can come up the 26th. You can come up Christmas. And they're all like, we'll be there. And I was like, no, please check with your families. Please think about it. And they were all like, no. Why would we not go? This is a once in a lifetime. And so for them and their families to make the sacrifices they did to let me have my year. Nobody prepares you to be a leader. And growing into that role, and then nobody prepares you for the hard reality of the public.
0:31:54 - (Ashley Adams): And I caught such a great end of it with fearless retiring. But how you go to so many, and everyone has an opinion, and you go to parades, and people are telling you to do the hook and horns, and you're like, absolutely not. You get people who. I had one gentleman tell me that the tradition was no longer iconic since we didn't get to run around the whole football field. And you're like, you can't change what he thinks. That I was like, I'm one of 60 who's gotten to run a horse on a football field. There are no complaints for me. And also the nerves.
0:32:27 - (Ashley Adams): I can go to a very quiet place, and I think that helps from showing horses, like, your nerves, they can feel. And so I just remember telling myself in a lot, just, you're with fearless. Nothing. Like, he's got it. He just needs you there. And I remember the first football game, like, those nerves when it hit, that was probably the nerves. And learning to control yourself and just know I can control what I can control and everything else. There are systems in place I've very much learned because I like to control a lot. If I can do it, I'm going to do it. So I know I've done it and it's done how I want it, but it made me let a lot of things go. I had to trust that my field safety was going to keep anyone from opting in front of me.
0:33:14 - (Ashley Adams): I had to trust that at the ball game when the photographers who don't know are in your path, where you're running and you're watching your girls arguing with these photographers, trying to move them out of the way, just all of these things I learned my year. I can only control what I can control. And that was how I presented Texas Tech and the care that I gave to my horse. And I feel like I did that and I did that the best I could. And I do it all again for that horse. The horse before him served twelve years and he served ten.
0:33:46 - (Ashley Adams): He just got beat by a little bit. Midnight Matador served twelve years. The fearless champion served ten. So they're significantly the longest serving.
0:33:55 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. Did you know during your year that would be his last year?
0:33:59 - (Ashley Adams): You start getting a feeling about before football started. Okay. Something in you just told you, and there's a lot behind the scenes that you can see moving in that you're aware of. But I just remember telling myself I'm not believing it until I'm told. And it was probably a few games into football. My worst boss. So we've got a vet, our person boss, and then the boss of the entire program. And so Dr. Sotom's the vet, Stephanie's the spirit program director, and Dr. Jackson is over the whole program.
0:34:34 - (Ashley Adams): And I remember walking into Stephanie's office and she's like, so Dr. Jackson and I talk and I just knew. I started crying again. And I was like, really? Like, this is really happening and it's really happening. And I was like, we probably had two or three football games left at that point, knowing, but the public doesn't know. And so that was the hardest thing so much before. The public knows. And I just remember thinking, math. There's no way this happened. And we work really closely with Cardinals, with Bradley there. And we were at a soccer game and he walked up and goes, hey, how's it? And you're talking, making small talk.
0:35:13 - (Ashley Adams): And I could just tell there was something he wanted to say. And he goes, so I'm making the shirts and I was like, what shirts? And he was like, the shirts for Woody's final run, because that's what we called him. That was his bar name. And I was like, what do you mean, Bradley? And he was like, you don't know? And I was like, no, I know you're making shirts. And I remember looking up at my girls at soccer, and there was a line starting to form and my girls could read me so well. And I just remember looking at him and I can start crying again about it. I just remember thinking, oh, they're making shirts. This is happening.
0:35:47 - (Ashley Adams): And Bradley just stood there with me for a minute and just was like, whatever you need. And I was like, I know my parents are going to want some shirts. And he was like, we'll have your parents some shirts. I just remember getting in the truck and we were all pretty quiet going home. Because you understand the significance of this Milk. It's not just you and this force. But I got so many dms on Instagram, and that's the other thing the public doesn't know is it's us running our social media. So you see everything. You see all the really great things and you see all the really bad things. People message you.
0:36:22 - (Ashley Adams): And I remember thinking, this is happening. And it was the most significant thing I've done because we got so many dms of we're coming to this game to watch him run one more time, like so many people. You still talk to football players because we didn't get to do a touchdown run that game. And even some of the football players you talk to, they're like, we're so sorry. We were trying for this horse to get it touched. And you're like, it all happens for a reason.
0:36:50 - (Ashley Adams): I wouldn't change anything. But it was so significant that I just remember thinking, why do I get this honor? Why is my name always going to be it? And I didn't realize it. And it was our vet, Dr. Stoneham, and him and his wife are amazing. You can't go through your year without the Stonehams, honestly. And I was like, I don't know why I'm having such a hard time. Because I get him the rest of my year. It's not like he runs and he's done. We still have the search process for a horse. And he was like, because you understand the significance of this moment. And I just remember preparing and the whole time they haven't announced it. So you're trying to do a lot of things behind the scenes to get ready for it. And I remember trying to get a hold of people in athletics. Can y'all use him for the final uniform reveal? And it was a little bit. It took a minute to get a hold of them.
0:37:37 - (Ashley Adams): And then I guess their office got word and they were like, can you be to the Jones Wednesday night? And you're like, absolutely. And I remember, so they went, we took pictures, we shot the promo video. And the whole time, you're just sitting there going, we still have a few days. Something will happen, and we won't get there. That's what I felt my full year. There is so much time between now and the end goal.
0:38:00 - (Ashley Adams): And I remember riding him Friday night. It was a late kickoff, but I like to just get on him and just walk. Just let him move. Just let him. But it was really good for me because you could just sit there and be quiet and think. And I remember they posted it on Twitter, and my phone just started blowing up. And I'm watching this video of them for the seniors, for fearless champion. And I just remember bawling again.
0:38:24 - (Ashley Adams): And I'm on the phone with my mom, and I'm like, they sent me the photos, and I'm crying to her, and she's going to be okay. And then my phone went dead. And so then you're out there by yourself, in your emotions, and you're no, like, I get to do this for this horse. He's the one who deserves to be sent off. The way he gave so much to tech, and then tech did a phenomenal farewell video for him. And I've been able to watch that once. Taylor did such a great job. And I've watched it once, and I've watched it way through because they captured everything.
0:39:03 - (Ashley Adams): And the whole time, you're going through this with your girls. And Caroline and Maddie, who worked with me, worked for Cameron, so they had known this horse before. They had been a part of safety. So many people, you get wrapped up thinking, I'm the only one going through this, and then you're like, oh, there's so many others. And I had such great girls. So I would get fearless, ready. I'd ride them, I'd bake them, they would clean the truck trailer, clean my tank, all of these things to help you get prepared for the day. And we're getting ready, and Ashley Rogers and Taylor show up to start taking photos and videos. And I just remember, normally, the girls would jump in and start doing stuff, and I just remember looking up, and they were just all standing back, and I was like, man.
0:39:50 - (Ashley Adams): And then I realized they knew I needed those moments by myself. Getting him ready, and it was one of the most powerful things, and he is the greatest, worse. And getting down there for your last football run, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
0:40:10 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah. I'm a professor in the athletic training program, and we typically take our students out to therapeutic writing center once a year just to experience hypotherapy. And I remember being so skeptical of hypotherapy and therapeutic riding when I first heard about it. I'm like, it's pony rides, but it's not a real thing. And you go out there and you see it, and you see an autistic child that communicates for the first time, or someone that hasn't walked, develop posture. And it dawned on me, and every time I go, I walk away with a deeper appreciation for just how therapeutic a horse can be.
0:40:47 - (Toby Brooks): And it's easy to say you were the mast rider, you rode the horse. Do you feel like it's better said that he carried you?
0:40:56 - (Ashley Adams): He absolutely carried me. My year, the tunnel came down, and then it flattened off and then dropped back again. And I remember hitting that, the flat part for the first time and thinking, what did I do? I don't want to be here. I don't want to do this. Like, the nerves, because you only run your horse once in the stadium before football. So I could run that Thursday night, and then Saturday night, you're running in front of everyone for the first time.
0:41:23 - (Ashley Adams): I'd been to the Jones, but it had been empty, and the Jones empty and the Jones full are two totally different experiences. And I was coming down that flat part and could start hearing the band, and I could start hearing the music. I remember thinking, I'm good. Like, we can go home. And I just felt this very calming. And I just look down, and it's fearless, is just walking down like it is a normal thing.
0:41:45 - (Ashley Adams): And his ears are falling, and you're like, if he can be here, I can be here.
0:41:51 - (Toby Brooks): Let me jump in here real quick. I grew up on a farm. We had cattle. My sister had this palomino horse named chief. Now, being an aspiring athlete, I wasn't super into the whole horse and cattle thing, but I do remember the lessons my dad taught me about horses, because if you don't respect your animal and pay attention to it, you can get hurt. A spooked horse perks his ears up stiff. Sounds different, too.
0:42:16 - (Toby Brooks): He just looks and feels like he's on edge. And quarter horses, like, fearless. They're fast, athletic, and beautiful, but like elite sprinters they can be a little high strung. And you put that horse in a stadium with 60,000 screaming fans, pumping music, and the 400 some odd members of the going band from Raider land in a rocking and raucous Jones at and T Stadium, it could be a recipe for disaster.
0:42:39 - (Toby Brooks): The mass rider program has faced its share of detractors over the years with concerns for safety. But as Ashley steals her nerves to take the field for the first time in her life, in that environment, fear creeps in. But as she looks down, fearless is just that. Without fear, without a care. His floppy ears show that this is just a walk in the park kid, just like he'd done for six or seven times a year for nearly a decade.
0:43:07 - (Toby Brooks): In that moment, when Ashley was gripped with paralyzing fear, she was carried through the strength and wisdom of a new friend who'd done this all before. And he was going to do it again, and he was going to take her right along with her.
0:43:23 - (Ashley Adams): And I just remember telling myself, and I knew my whole year, this horse has got me. There was never a moment where you're like, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be doing this. Because he was always that steady, that constant. He fell asleep on the sidelines, and he had seen it from seeing it on the ground, but I had never experienced it. This horse is fully asleep on the sidelines, and you're like, we're about to run in 20 minutes.
0:43:48 - (Ashley Adams): I need you with the program. And they get to a certain point in the pregame songs, and the last thing I remember hearing is the national anthem, because after that, everything just goes dead quiet. And you're walking in your circle. And I just remember telling myself, I've got to be able to wiggle all of my toes so that I don't freeze up. You're just sitting there loose and you can feel this force, like, just start building. And I'm like, he knows. He knows what he's doing.
0:44:14 - (Ashley Adams): And I just remember in that moment, thinking, everything's fine. I've got various champions. He just literally needs me here so that he can do his job. And people always ask, I think that you should change the description of Master Rider. You are the official mascot, but you are the driver. For the horse to go see his public and love seeing people. People love seeing him. And he was so big, he was so powerful, but he was so kind.
0:44:40 - (Ashley Adams): And so he absolutely carried me my year. I could not have done my year without that force.
0:44:47 - (Toby Brooks): That's fantastic. I think it's wonderful that you got the chance to help him into his career. And obviously, I guess, sad to little Ashley, you don't get to do it for the rest of your life. It's not a career. It's a one shot deal. So talk me through that process. There's a formal passing of the reins, but psychologically, at this point, my time's come. It's gone. I'll never get to do this again. What were the days, weeks, months to follow like for you when that season of your life came to an end?
0:45:19 - (Ashley Adams): So it's interesting before you've passed the reins, when you're the one getting the reins passed to them, you see this year, and you see this. This is what I've worked for. And your best day is somebody's worst day, and you don't realize it. And that's something else I learned, is you don't know what somebody else is going through. I only knew my emotions. I could look up and see cameras and be like, oh, that's going to be me in a year.
0:45:44 - (Ashley Adams): But that's. In a year. That's never going to happen. And then I transferred to Caroline, and so she was one of my assistants. And so there's a lot to be said to transferring to somebody because you feel like, okay, I can trust this person. She's seen it. She's been with me on the best days and the worst days, and they've seen every moment in between. But it's really hard. But I was so good at separating the personal and professional that I looked up in a year, and I didn't know who I was necessarily outside of that role, and it wasn't.
0:46:19 - (Ashley Adams): And I love my job as an ass rider. I would do anything to have it back with the horse, with my girls. But I remember looking up, going, I don't miss the job. I miss my horse. And leaving him was the hardest thing, like, the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I think any of the mastery say very easy to leave your job. It's very hard to leave that horse because they're with you 365 days. You feed them twice a day. You're going to appearances with them. I saw them more than I did my own family, and it's just when you get on that side of it, I had to learn really quickly who I was again, and that took quite a bit of time. That took, honestly, almost a full year to watch, and it helped. I watched Caroline go through it with not my course sincere champion is a part of this program, but I don't know what it feels like, to ride him, I don't know, really, those emotions. And so I was able to separate it again really good. But it was hard that first year.
0:47:17 - (Ashley Adams): Memories would pop up, and you're like, oh, this time last year we were doing this, and here I am doing this. And I remember there were several moments I was probably really not great to be around that. You were like, last year I was doing this. This year, we're just sitting around at the house. And so that was really hard. And then I had a really hard time even wanting to be around another horse that wasn't him, because you're like, he let me do everything, and I had to learn.
0:47:47 - (Ashley Adams): Everyone would always ask me, what do you want to do? My boyfriend tried really hard. He was like, what do you want to do today? I'm like, what I want to do? I can't go do he pick something I can help you go do. I don't know how. And my mom was really like, you can't. And I'm like, I know, but I never had something I learned. That was the first job I ever had that I learned, if you love what you do, it never felt like work. It never felt like you were working. It just felt like another day, and you were blessed to be there. And so it took a lot. It took a lot of talking it out loud, letting yourself go through the emotions. But then really, for me, finding my next.
0:48:27 - (Ashley Adams): Finding what is next. And I think to a degree, you always struggle with that after this job because you're always like, I ran a fort down a football field, and I did x, Y, and z, and here I am now doing this. And so I had to learn to be very happy with where I am now and not wish to be anywhere else.
0:48:48 - (Toby Brooks): Right? I think there's no doubt 400 plus appearances. Full time grad student, like anything else, would feel like part time work. And so today you're a marketing coordinator at mass writer capital and own Ashley Adams Media. So talk me through what your day to day looks like in 2024.
0:49:05 - (Ashley Adams): Yes. So my day to day looks entirely different. And I always tell people I love one master job for another master writer job, and for master Capital, I'm their marketing coordinator. So my day looks, depending on what's going on, it can be anything from getting pitch decks ready to helping with logos to doing the website to running errands around town. I got to join this company when it was still young, and it's still growing. This is truly the first job that I've had since my time was mastery where you're like, I am a part of something bigger than myself.
0:49:35 - (Ashley Adams): And I think that's what I've always craved as an individual, where you're like, if I'm working on it for, like, that's great. But I want to feel like I'm making a difference and an impact. And so I love my job. I work with the best people that it's all truly, they're great. They're in the community. They're going through it with you. And then. Ashley Adams Media I started that before my time as master rider. And then, of course, that year, everything gets put on pause. And so I didn't really take any photos for a year. And then right after master rider, so in August, I went to Yellowstone, and that was the first time I picked my camera back up. And we went to Yellowstone and the Tetons and Mount Rushmore did a big loop around. And I remember thinking, oh, this again. You got to fall in love with it. I remember my media's let me fall in love with the day to day again, where you get to tell somebody's story, you get somebody out of all of the photographers, out of everyone to design a logo, out of everyone to build a website and help.
0:50:38 - (Ashley Adams): Whether it's engagement photos, I've never done a wedding. That's a big step. But senior photos, engagement, anything, somebody picked you out of everyone out there. And so it's really let me fall in love with something bigger than myself again, in a way, because a lot of people, you can look at it as, oh, you're just taking photos, but you're capturing a moment for that person. They'll always look back and go, oh, I remember when, fill in the blank and they can pull up your photo you took.
0:51:06 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, that's fantastic. If you had a chance to go back in time and speak some wisdom into young Ashley, aspiring to be the masked writer or maybe even doing what you're doing today, what advice would you give yourself and why?
0:51:20 - (Ashley Adams): To keep going. And that God does a tell. He just tells you, not right now, because it's very easy when you're young, you look up and you're like, oh, I want the million dollar house, this life that you have envisioned. And it's very easy to judge when you're in college eating ramen noodles and starving and trying to make it through that. You look up and so you're not told. No, you're just told, not right now, because you'll get to the side where you can afford a peanut butter and jelly and you'll look back and go, man, I had to learn those lessons so that I could get here and be happy and that as fast as you're moving forward, don't be afraid to look back and help the next person because as you're moving forward, you have people in your life that are helping you up, whether it's the metaphorical ladder or the stepping stones. But nobody gets to where they're at on their own. It takes a team, it takes a village, it takes somebody going, oh, they might have it. Let me talk some boat. Let me see what they can do with it. So always be willing to go back and help the next person moving up because you have no idea what you're going to do, how you're going to impact people, but to always look at it as it's not, no, it's maybe not right now.
0:52:38 - (Ashley Adams): And to help the next person coming up along with it.
0:52:42 - (Toby Brooks): Fantastic words of wisdom for yourself and for others. Next to last one's a little bit of an odball. I love music and the emotions that it can frequently represent. If we were to watch a montage of Ashley's life, what song would you pick to play in the background and why?
0:52:58 - (Ashley Adams): That's hard because my playlist is like everything from the Christmas to the christian music to post Malone. So I think really, I've always thought about this probably more than most people. But the song that we always played going to football, the last song, like pulling into the parking lot was I'm going to be by pokes Malone. And I remember hearing it, Emily's here. When it first came out, I remember thinking, I'm going to be that one day, I'm going to be. And so as funny as it sounds, I don't really think it's a song to go over your whole life because each chapter is so different and deserves its own song. But I really like that one. That one. When I listen to it, I can go back really quickly to that moment. That's probably my answer.
0:53:43 - (Toby Brooks): Oh, cool. I have a Spotify playlist that I put together with all my guests picks. So we have a mixtape of everybody. Yeah.
0:53:50 - (Ashley Adams): Yes.
0:53:52 - (Toby Brooks): All right, last one. What for Ashley remains undone.
0:53:57 - (Ashley Adams): I think a lot. I think the second year I have reached wherever I'm going is when you start getting stagnant. And so for me, I have always been the one to think five steps ahead. I can overthink something. I've got a plan for every stage, but truly, where I'm at in five years, I don't know. I know, I love my job. I love what I'm doing. But I would love to be able to be at a place where you can give back to your university, to the next group of kids. Coming up through the tech, the torch team, through the master writer program, through.
0:54:32 - (Ashley Adams): Maybe it's a first generation college kid, but being able to be there for. To give back into your community, because my community gave me so much. They gave me the opportunity of a lifetime. And being able to pour into that, it's the first time in my life I don't have, oh, in one year. I'm going to do this in two years. But I know, looking forward, the person I want to be and the person that each day you're moving towards. And so I think there's a lot left to be undone. I think there's a lot that's been done, but I think there's still a whole lot left.
0:55:04 - (Toby Brooks): Yeah, that's wonderful. If folks want to connect with your work or follow you, how can they find you on socials?
0:55:13 - (Ashley Adams): I have a personal and professional social media, so my personal is Ashley Adams. And I shared, don't really share a lot on there anymore, but I shared a lot throughout my time as master writer. My media one is Ashley Adams Media is on Instagram and then Facebook. It's Ashley Adams photography. I've got a TikTok from when I was master, so I'm going, I had a lot. I don't have Twitter. I've never, what is it called? Now I don't have an X or Twitter, but other than that, I'm on just about everything else and as personal and professional, so whatever people want to follow, that would be great.
0:55:51 - (Toby Brooks): Awesome. Ashley, I sincerely appreciate your time. Such a powerful story. You've been a fantastic ambassador for the university. That's a heavy load to carry. And most of us don't realize what goes into that goosebump. Introducing run onto the football field. I'm going to drop videos into the link here so that folks that listen that haven't seen that, there's nothing like it in person, but seeing it in video, it's certainly fantastic. So thank you so much for your time.
0:56:21 - (Ashley Adams): Absolutely. And I think the coolest video, and you can cut this out, but the coolest videos, we did a helmet cam, so you can actually see what it's like to run down the field. And I remember hearing, watching my video back and thinking, oh, people cheered. Like, people cheer when you ride because it's just so quiet. But I think that's a powerful video because you get to see how much our horses in this program love their job. Like truly love it. So I really appreciate your time and letting me tell my story and tell a little bit about fearless champion and what this university in Lubbock's done for me.
0:56:57 - (Ashley Adams): I am Ashley Adams and I am undone.
0:56:59 - (Toby Brooks): I am so incredibly thankful to today's guest, Ashley Adams, and I hope you found strength, encouragement, and maybe even a glimpse into something or someone that can serve as your own fearless champion as you listen to her story today. For more info on today's episode, be sure to check it out on the web. Simply go to undonepodcast.com ep 74 to see the notes, links and images related to today's guest.
0:57:24 - (Toby Brooks): Ashley Adams.
0:57:29 - (Ashley Adams): You it.
0:57:48 - (Toby Brooks): I know there are great stories out there to be told and I'm always on the lookout. So if you or someone you know has a story we can all be inspired by, tell me about it. Surf on over to undone podcast.com. Click the Contact tab in the top menu and drop me a note. Coming up, I've got some incredible guests, including former pro football player and collegiate coach Marshall Roberts, former Navy SEAL turned author Mark Green, and Kansas State athletic trainer Jared Allueck. So stay tuned. This and more coming up on becoming undone. Becoming Undone is a nitrohype creative production written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for becoming undone, contact me@undonepodcast.com follow the show on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn at Becoming Pod and follow me at tobyjbrooks on X Instagram and TikTok.
0:58:35 - (Toby Brooks): Check out my link tree at Linktr ee backslash tobyjbrooks. Listen, subscribe and leave me a review at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, I heart radio or wherever you get your podcasts. Till next time, everybody. Keep getting better.