159 | Your Phone Is Rewiring Your Brain: 4 Ways to Reset It

Distraction is costing more than time. It is quietly draining your presence, stealing your peace, and weakening your connection to what matters most.

In this episode, we unpack the hidden emotional, neurological, and practical cost of constant digital noise and reveal a research supported strategy to help you reclaim your focus, clarity, and intentional living.

You will learn why traditional productivity tips often fail when your nervous system is overwhelmed and how one simple morning boundary can transform your energy, priorities, and attention for the entire day.

We explore:

• How distraction erodes presence, intimacy, and inner peace
• Why productivity hacks fall apart when your brain and nervous system are overstimulated
• Eye opening distraction math and the lifetime cost of daily screen habits
• What phone pickup patterns reveal about hidden attention leaks
• How theta, alpha, and beta brain states shape your morning focus and decision making
• The power of a one-hour phone free morning as a keystone habit
• Simple clarity anchors including journaling, prayer, reading, and intentional movement
• Why systems, accountability, and community create lasting behavior change

If you are ready to reset your focus and take back control of your attention, I created a free resource to help you start strong.

Download the Free 28 Day Digital Detox Challenge:
 amyramsey.com/leadership

If this episode encouraged or challenged you, please leave a review, subscribe, and share this episode in your stories. Tag me so I can celebrate and repost you.

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Transcript

The Cost Of Constant Phone Use

Distraction, Dopamine, And Your Brain

Italy, Awe, And A Wake-Up Call

Mission, Faith, And Why This Matters

Free Digital Detox Resource

Four-Phase Detox Overview

Protect The First Hour

Power Down Before Bed

Put Limits On Social Apps

App Downtime And Friction

Habit Change, Peace, And Discipline

Community, Coaching, And Structure

Invitation To 90-Day Program

Recap, Sunday Detox, And Closing

Amy Ramsey 0:52

Did you know the average person touches their phone over one hundred and fifty times a day? Every single day. And each one of those touches reinforces a dopamine loop in your brain. Also, did you know the average screen time a day is seven hours? And if you added that up for an entire year, it would equal over three full months on a screen. Friend, that's not just a loss of time. That's a loss of your presence and your ability to maximize your life and make an impact to say the least. The other day on in my accelerate her coaching program, we were talking about the problem of the digital age and cell phones. And I asked this question to the ladies, what is this costing you? When you think about how much time we're touching our phone, how much time we're actually spending on our phone, and what that equates to. What is this costing you? And of course it's costing productivity. That answer came flooding in. But it wasn't too long after that that another wave of answers came in that were more internal, more personal. It's costing me my peace. It's costing me my presence. It's costing me my joy. I get comparing and then I lose my joy. And it's costing me the ability to connect with the people that I love the most. And so when we think about the struggle that we have with our cell phones, with our screen time, and what that is costing us, it is huge. Distraction isn't just happening to you. You've trained your brain to need it. But the good news is we can just how it's been trained, we can retrain it. In episode 158, I talked about distraction as a nervous system issue and talked a lot about the science of what it does to our nervous system, how it dysregulates it, and the problems that happen with that, with our cortisol levels, with our stress, with all of these things, and how when it comes to our cell phones, we are actually fighting against the world's most brilliant engineers to keep us engaged. In preparation for this very episode, I needed to go and remind myself of which episode that was, which episode number, so I could state it here. Episode number 158. You definitely want to listen to that one. I'm like, oh my gosh. So it's funny, but not funny, right? In my own pursuit of fighting against these distractions, once we get to our phone, it's like our brains truly get hijacked. And I want you to feel empowered to know have more knowledge and to know what to do. Okay, my friend, I want to ask you a couple of questions and I want you to answer these honestly. Because I do believe that once we're more aware of where we are now, but where do we want to be? We can actually make more change. If you feel overstimulated and you feel mentally tired, if you are feeling wired and restless, but you want to slow down, like the struggle is real, do you feel, are you like me? You struggle and you're easily pulled into your phone without thinking. Do you feel guilty for the time you spend on your screen? But you kind of, it's like a habit at this point. How about this? Are you distracted mid-task, or maybe you've got a task and you find yourself wanting to check your email or check social media or check your messages right in the middle of a task? Any type of boredom, quiet, stop at a red light, waiting for a line in the grocery store, you get just a tiny bit bored and you go right to your phone. So one of the things that could be underneath all of this, like the real struggle, I think, is like, why can't I just stop? Why can't I just do better? Like this is ridiculous. Or maybe we don't think about this, but have you now that we're talking about it, like we're having a conversation around this, have you noticed how the behavior is like automatic? We automatically check our phone, we automatically bounce from app to app to app to app. And then we could inherently think, wait, what's wrong with me? I share the story on the last episode. I am a creative and I am inspired greatly by beautiful things, by art, beautiful scenery. And there was something that happened. I was so inspired by the beauty, by the architecture, by nature, by the museums, by the culture of being in Italy. It just moved me to tears every single day. And then something beautiful happened. Cell phone service wasn't great. So I wasn't really able to use my phone. It just gave me this beautiful time to enjoy Italy and not have as many distractions. And the Lord began to speak to me then and there. And the clear message that I received from him that there was so much more to me in my life, but I'll never reach my full potential as long as I stay distracted. And I finally decided to do my life differently and reevaluate my relationship with my phone, with social media, with the time I was spending on different apps. I actually took action. I'm going to share exactly some of those strategies that I used. But I can share with you this, my friend. That was several years ago. And this has been a process for me. And I still have to reevaluate the struggle with the devices, it is a difficult one, and we need to be aware. However, we need to take it seriously because God's got works for us to do. And if you go back to the stats that I shared with you at the beginning of this podcast, over three months of one year is spent in front of a screen. That is not okay. We can do better. And in this very episode, I'm going to share with you four things that I practiced that I'm actually the ladies in my accelerate her coaching program. We're walking through these things right now. I'm going to share that with you in this episode. I want you to understand that distraction is both a nervous system issue, but it's also a conditioning issue. You'll learn how dopamine is reinforcing your phone habits and why you're not broken, but you've actually trained your brain to do this. So by the end of this episode, I want you to feel empowered and not ashamed. I want you to know what to do instead of feeling defeated. And I want you to be really confident that real change is possible. And then also I want you to understand the science behind distraction and how once you implement these four practical detox rhythms, you will actually begin to disrupt your pattern and retrain your brain. But here's what's more exciting to me than just like beating the number and getting better at this. Girlfriend, you're gonna have more peace in your life. Come on. That's what we all want. We want more peace. We want more joy. We want to live purposeful, productive lives. And that's what I want for you too. So you will have more peace, and I do believe more joy because of this. And it'll help move you closer to the things that God's calling you to do, those good works that He has built just for you. My name is Amy. If we haven't met before, or if this is your first time to the podcast, by the way, oh my goodness, I am so excited. So, in preparation for this particular podcast, I just learned this morning that we have gone from a top five globally ranked podcast to a top three. Woohoo! I'm so excited! And I'm grateful for you being here. And I just pray that this podcast helps you to move forward. So I am a high performance coach. I am a leadership coach, a mentor. I do a lot of business and branding coaching with women, but I help faith-driven women build practical systems, rhythms, and strategies so they can live with clarity, purpose, and impact. My expertise is turning high-level goals into tangible structure that actually works in real life. And I created this very episode because I want you to walk worthy. I want you to walk worthy in the call for which God has called you. I don't want you stuck. I want to see you unstuck with your, I hate to say time management because time is time. We don't manage time, we manage ourselves. This is a self-leadership problem. This is a self-leadership problem. And the more that we can understand that we don't have to stay stuck in the status and the average 23 years of an average life is spent in front of a screen. Oh, can I just let that set in? 23 years of a life. What could we do for God's kingdom in 23 years? Let that sink in. So I I want to empower you and teach you how to gain ground on this. I want you to be more purposeful with your days. I want you to walk worthy. And I want you to be able to have more peace. I want to empower you over your time, be more purposeful in your days, and I really want you to be able to access real peace and also pursue your goals. So, buckle in my friend. Now, real quick, before we go, I'm going to help you today with four ways to reset your brain and rewire your brain. Before we jump into that, I want to share with you. I've got a free resource. I am using this resource in my 90-day accelerate her coaching program. These ladies, we're right in the middle of it. This digital detox challenge. Once I created this, I'm like, you know what? Let me just share this with everyone. So you can go to amyramse.com/slash leadership to grab this. It will be available for a few more weeks. But it's a digital detox and it lists the four things that I'm about to share with you that I believe if you practice these four things, it will help you gain ground in this area. Now, here's the deal: it breaks it down into a calendar so you can check it off. Our brain likes to check things off. So I've created it for that, and I really believe that this will make a big difference for you. So go to amiramsey.com/slash leadership, or you can check that out in the show notes. Okay, my friend. So are you ready? Let's get started. Let's go. Okay, my friend. I'm gonna give you four things that will make the world of difference in your fight to defeat the distractions and live a purposeful, intentional life. Now we're gonna start with data. With this digital detox, I've broken it down into four things, but we always start with a baseline. We need to track where we are now so we can make improvements. One of the things that I feel like we do as women is we feel bad about the wasted time that we're spending. Like inherently, we know it's wrong. And what we do is we can go to a shame place, like, oh, I'm just terrible, and then put our phones down and hope that we'll do better. And then we're actually not making progress. So you might listen to this and realize that you need to radically reevaluate your relationship with your phone. And that might look different for you. What I'm gonna share is a step-by-step approach that's a little bit more gentle. So if you're feeling the nudge from the Holy Spirit, like, girl, no, like let's delete apps, let's like put your phone away. If you're feeling nudges like that, I want you to obey it. And what I'm sharing is an approach that I took to really help me make radical improvements. And it was so life-giving. All right, so we're gonna start with data. You need two different things. You're gonna go to the settings on your phone. I'm gonna talk from an iPhone perspective because that's what I know. And we want two different numbers. You want your daily average screen time, and then you also want how many times are you picking up your phone. This is found in the settings on your phone. So when you go to settings, when you scroll down on my iPhone, it's a little purple icon that has like an hourglass. You're gonna click on that. That is your screen time. Now, the goal that we have is we need to know our baseline. And then we want to see improvements. We want the little arrow to go down from one week to the next to the next. We want to see improvement. So start with your baseline. I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, and if you are an entrepreneur and you work from your home, I mean, work from your phone like I do, our screen time is gonna be higher than people that maybe don't, or probably should be higher, right? You can also see the time that you've spent on apps. So your time may be higher, but check to see is it in your productivity apps? Is it in the apps that you want it to be instead of only social media apps? For those of us that run a social media-based business, and it is imperative that we are on social media and in the different apps. That's fine. And so don't feel guilty about it. Scroll the time that you need to scroll and do the work that you need to do and be okay with that. Like let the guilt go, but know what you want that to be, right? This is about time management and managing yourself within the time and then fighting against the world's most brilliant engineers and the cheap dopamine. And there's a whole bunch of things going on. So, first of all, we start with our baseline. Now, here's the thing: right when you wake up, do not pick up your phone for an hour. And if that is really hard for you, leave that phone in another room. And that's not just to like have a rule against you. Your brain, it's the most interesting science. Your brain has flows through different states all day long. And right when you wake up, it's a state called theta. And then that's a very short, short, short state. Your brain can't stay in there very long. And then your brain moves into an alpha state. And here's what disrupts both of those states is your phone. You pulling up your phone will transition you and it'll take you straight out of those states. And that state is one of the most beautiful states for you to wake up and to connect with your creator, for you to wake up and be prayerful, for you to wake up and meditate on God's word, for you to wake up and for you to journal. It is a rhythm, I believe, that the Father has for us to set the tone for our day. You hear any high performer say, win your morning, win your day. Well, if you get up and you start with your phone, guess what you're starting with? You're starting with, let's say it's email. You're starting with somebody else's agenda. Your brain goes from this meditative, reflective state to bam, it goes straight into beta mode. Beta mode gets things done. Beta mode is where our brain stays most of the day. If you get up and you start on social media, scrolling on social media, your brain goes to receiving all sorts of input that it doesn't even have time to process, but it goes straight to comparison mode. So protect that one hour in the morning. Do whatever you need to do. Okay. Number two, after a week of that, we can layer in this next one. No screens one hour before bed. Now, this can be really hard if you just want to numb out. Can you raise your hand to that? Like, I don't even care sometimes. I just don't want to think. I'm tired. By the end of the day, I'm exhausted. I just don't want to think and I want to be entertained. There's nothing wrong with that, by the way. However, one hour before you go to bed, just how you have that theta, alpha waves early in the morning, guess what? They return in the evening. And instead of being entertained, take that one hour and learn to slow down, decompress, read a book. Novel idea, right? But for real, like read a book, journal, process, prepare for the next day. Establish a different nighttime routine. You will sleep better. Would you like to sleep better? Yes. All God's people said yes, please, girlfriend, especially for those in midlife and beyond. Can we just like get a hearty hallelujah on that? We want to sleep better. This is one way that you can sleep better. If you already know blue light and how horrible it is for your body and for your brain, just know that that's even another reason why you want to take me up on this. Okay, tip number three is limit the social, limit your social media by putting limits on your phone. When I was in Italy, this is kind of embarrassing, but this is the truth. I've been coaching for a very long time and helping women to manage themselves and time better, be more productive, be more purposeful is not new for me to be coaching around. For years, I have said, yes, set time limits on your social media. Well, guess who hadn't done that for herself? This girl right here. So when the Lord had that conversation with me, told me that I would never reach my full potential as long as I stayed distracted when I was in Italy. I figured out how to put the time limits on my phone. Now, here's a little disclaimer about that. I think I had some hesitance around it because I work from my phone. I need to be able to hop into these apps and do what I need to do, quote unquote work-wise. So it was a process for me to figure this piece out. Tip number three is limit your social media apps. Put a time limit on them. I'm not going to tell you what your time limit should be. I know what mine is. And once I'm done with that time limit, my phone blocks me out. Now, can I override it? Absolutely. But it is an indicator for me. I know intuitively when I'm getting close to that time. So I'm cautious. It forces me to stay more in work mode than. Consume mode. And it will for you too, if you don't override those apps constantly. And here's the deal like James Clear talks about when you're trying to break a bad habit, you want to make it harder to do, create more friction between the steps to get there. So if you're like, Amy, I tried that and I just kept overriding it because you have the option to say you can do it for 15 more minutes. Here's the thing. Then you need to delete the apps off of your phone. And then the fourth thing is, and this was so helpful for me, is to incorporate time limits on your phone. So I can't access apps in my phone before, I'll tell you mine, it's 7 a.m., which is great. I get up really early. I'm like a 445. I used to be 4:30. I'm more of a 445 these days. I get up about 4:45, and my apps don't come on my phone until 7 a.m. And then they go off at 9 p.m. And I love that. I love it. It helps to remove the temptation. I do want you to incorporate that as well. What time for you? And how can you protect your brain and to protect that time with the Lord and to really focus on your priorities in your life instead of defaulting to your phone? So I've got that digital detox for you. The thing that I would like to really share here with these points is that it's going to take some discipline on your part. And part of our problem with the distractions is we've trained our brain to have that cheap dopamine hit. We've trained our bodies, if I'm the tiniest bit bored, to actually go to our phones, right? And Aristotle says it best that we are what we repeatedly do. So excellence then is not an act, but a habit. The reality is, is we've got a bad habit. And it's impacting so many areas in our life. And I believe this that we cultivate peace. We can receive peace from the Lord. We want peace, right? But are we willing to do the work that it takes to have the receive it at the greater level? We don't just stumble upon it. We create it for ourselves. When we finally stop and realize that it's me, I'm the problem. Like, let's do something about it. This is important that we solve this, that we grow in this. We're doing this together as a group inside of the 90-day accelerate her. Our goal is to walk worthy of the calling inside of us. Our goal is to pursue excellence, not perfection, but to be productive and to be purpose-filled women who are walking worthy of our calling. Psalm 9012 says, Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. And I want to give you a formal invitation right now to join us. I had somebody yesterday actually reach out to me on Facebook Messenger, and they were looking for, hey, do you still offer a call? Do you still offer? I'm not at a place to do one-on-one work. It was a former client. And I said, you know what? I what I do have is this 90-day accelerate her. And here's what it includes: it includes daily private podcast from me every single morning. That's about five minutes. It's very succinct. It goes straight to the point with a Bible verse and with a coaching tip as well. It's a mentorship program to move you forward. It includes a pre-release version of my planner that gives you the daily action plan. That planner, I cannot wait to get that thing in your hands. It will be for pre-sale here pretty soon. Just hang with me, stay tuned. That project took me a lot longer than I thought, but I do have it just for my clients. And then it includes weekly coaching from me, live coaching, and the ability to have a hot seat and ask questions. The power of what's going on inside of this amazing group is community, is accountability. We have it set up. We have a thriving, you know, some Facebook groups are dead, boring. Not ours, girl. No. Uh-uh. Like it's happening. Connections are happening. Accountability is hacked. In fact, they held me accountable. DMs, hey Amy, just want to check on you. Did you count your macros like you said you were going to? I'm like, yes, thank you. I appreciate the accountability. I love it. But change is happening, and these women are, for whatever goals they have, they're achieving them. And they're feeling excited and even more confident in their ability to achieve the next ones. I've got a lot of entrepreneurs in there that are absolutely moving forward. Why? Because they understand systems, they understand structure and the power of that. That is my superpower is systems and structure. So in this 90-day accelerate her, by the way, you can go to amyramsey.com slash 90 days and you can go ahead and hop in with us right now. This one lady that messaged me just yesterday in the DMs. I'm like, I do have this. And she's like, that's what I need. And so she joined last night. She messaged me this morning. In fact, I'm gonna pull up my phone as we speak. She messaged me this morning, and here is what she said. Now, this is just one day. I'm literally about to cry. I'm amazed at God's timing again. I have been fighting to keep my mouth shut and not cave into feelings about confronting a couple of people. It wouldn't do any good. This week I won that battle. And your text this morning hit all the feels. And so when you have a coach in your corner that's helping you to improve every area of your life so you can be and live out the life that God intended for you to live, it's powerful. When you got somebody in your corner, it's powerful. So super excited. She's so excited. I said, Welcome back. She says, Thank you. I am so glad to be back. What I would like for you to know, dear sister, is that that is the best way I can help you move forward. I do work with a few clients one-on-one. And so that is a possibility as well. But I want you to have crystal clarity moving forward. I want you to do those things that God's calling you to do. What I know in my own journey in life is that it requires so much faith. Obedience to God requires so much faith. And what I see too many women is sitting on the sidelines of their life. Too many women who aren't willing to actually do the work to live the life that they've prayed for. And what they need is some encouragement. They need also a little bit of a challenge. Like, come on, step it up, level up. But let me show you how. Let's do this together. Come on and join us in the 90-day accelerate her program and get that coaching. It will change your life. Amyramsey.com slash 90 days. Okay, my friends, that is our episode today. And I pray that this inspires you. I pray that this really gives you those tangible tools to help you move forward. So let me just like wrap that up one more time again. Here's what I'm recommending you do no screens one hour before you wake up. No screens one hour before you go to bed. Give that time and attention to wind down, wind up properly or naturally and give it to the Lord. Put time limits on your social media. And then also time limits on your phone. Have those time limits on your phone. And then the last thing that I'll say here that I have incorporated into mine. So this is like the bonus tip, and this is a bonus, bonus, bonus. But on Sundays, I do not get on social media whatsoever. I do a detox altogether. And I feel like there's a rebound time. There is a rebound time with social media. And that one day a week is obedience to God, but it resets me and it recalibrates me. And it helps me to not want to pick up my phone as much. So I pray that this inspired you, encouraged you. Thank you for listening. Would you do me a solid? Help help me to get this podcast. I'm on a, I want it to get to a number one globally. The way that that happens is you by you sharing it, sharing it in your stories, sharing it on your social media. I'm so grateful when you do. Leave me a review. All right, my friend. I'll see you on the next podcast episode. Until then, walk worthy of that calling that is inside of you. I love you so much. Have a great day.