163 | From Burnout to Breakthrough: The Identity Shift Every High Achiever Needs

Feeling burned out from chasing goals?

If you’re a high-achieving woman who’s tired of the hustle, the pressure, and tying your worth to results… this episode is your reset.

We’re talking about the shift from performance-driven living to identity-driven leadership and how to succeed without sacrificing your peace.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

•  Why burnout is a warning sign, not failure 
•  How to stop tying your identity to success or titles 
•  The difference between hustle and working from rest 
•  What to focus on instead of outcomes to create real momentum 
•  A simple mindset shift that can transform how you show up in 30 days 

If you’re ready to grow, lead, and build without exhaustion, this conversation will help you realign and move forward with clarity and confidence.

Next Steps

✨ Get the Worthy Woman Planner
 👉 worthywomanplanner.com

✨ Join the free Align and Activate Masterclass
 👉 amyramsey.com/masterclass

Let’s Stay Connected
Website: www.amyramsey.com
Join My Newsletter: amyramsey.com/connect
Instagram: @amyramsey_
YouTube: Amy Ramsey

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Transcript

Burnout And The 1% Question

Planner And Free Masterclass Invite

How Amy And Joy Met

Amy Ramsey 0:46

Have you ever hit a point where you didn't want a goal? You were so tired of striving and hustling and honestly just wondering, do I even want to be a one percent? I was actually asked that question recently is what do I need to do to be a top 1%? And what what would be the highest goal at that level? I didn't want to answer it. I thought, I don't know what it takes to get there, but if it's gonna cost me my piece, I'm not interested. So it's really interesting in the space of high performance and goal setting and moving forward, how easy it is for ambitious driven women to get off kilter. I've done it before. I hit clinical burnout. And so what I know is that there is a better way. And this conversation matters because we can we can hit uh excellence without exhaustion. Today in this conversation, I'm sitting down with my friend Joy Far Joy Farley, and her breakthrough story is so powerful. You will feel so inspired after listening to this interview. We talk about what happens when a high when high achieving women are burned out and they're sick of performance-based living, and they're ready to stop finding their worth in results, titles, external successes. We talk about titles becoming idols. And I've been guilty of that, and maybe you have too. This podcast is for you if you know you're capable of more, but you are tired of the chaos. This conversation is for you if you love God with all of your heart and you want to make an impact and you want real growth, but you don't want to live off of hype and pressure and stress and emotional roller coasters. You know you're called to lead, to build, to grow, but you want to do it with peace, presence, and rest. In this episode, Joy shares what shifted for her and how identity became the basis and the foundation of her transformation and what happened quickly, very quickly, when she stopped focusing only on outcomes and started building from truth and relying on the Holy Spirit, relying on a spirit-led structure. What you'll walk away from this episode is learning how to recognize when performance has become your identity and why burnout is often a sign that something else needs deeper healing. I know it was for me. I share a little bit of that, a little bit about that story, and how the powerful truth of renewing your mind and using the right systems, accountability, and spiritual alignment can change everything in your life. She had a transformation that is so remarkable and it happened in 30 days. We're gonna share exactly what it was with you in this episode. So, two things before we jump into it. Finally, finally, finally, the Worthy Woman Planner is available. And I want to encourage you to, if you're looking for structure and a system to help you move further, faster, but also still have calm and peace in your life. You can go to worthywomanplanner.com and go ahead and grab your copy. I have my next free masterclass coming up. It is called Align and Activate. It is all about aligning yourself spiritually and activating all of the right habits, high performance habits, and actions to move you further. I'm gonna break down my 5A framework that you will have so much clarity after you have walked through this workshop. It's absolutely free. Spots are limited. So you will want to go ahead and register now for this free masterclass. You can go to amiramsey.com slash masterclass and grab your seat for that. But I want to see you walk worthy of your calling and go further and make more impact. And that's what this conversation with Joy is all about. Oh my goodness, Joy. I'm so excited to have this conversation with you. You know, I was preparing in in my my head mentally before we had this. It's crazy to me how long we've been back and forth together. For those of you that are watching this, Joy reminded me that she joined my fitness program. I had an app, the Fit Soul Tribe. Were you in the Fit Soul Tribe with? Oh my gosh. I was. You know what's so cool about this? In the space of business, relationships and rapport are everything. They are.

SPEAKER_00 6:04

And we've been in touch in relationship and rapport for many, many years. Since 2019. I was pregnant with Gracelyn, who was our youngest of four, and I just wanted to work out, but there's no way I could go to the gym. And I said, I need something online. And then somehow you came in my Instagram algorithm. So here we are.

Amy Ramsey 6:23

And yeah, the we we got to see each other last year. We were both at an event, the global leadership event. It was incredible. And we got to meet each other for the first time in person. And so anyway, we've been in each other's worlds for I guess since 2019. And Joy, that's math. I don't do ja math. Seven years. You've got a daughter that you could remember how old you're like, oh yeah, she's sounds like seven years. And recently you've jumped into the accelerate her program, and that's what we're going to talk about today.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

Okay.

Performance-Based Worth And Burnout

Amy Ramsey 6:54

So, but this last time before you jumped in, where where were you stuck? What were you feeling? Because you've had massive transformation. Massive. So try to like go back to that place. Tell us about that.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Yeah. So whenever I met with you or saw you at the Global Leadership Summit, I was already praying about hiring a coach. I've been, you know, in sales and marketing for almost 19 years, and I've had various coaches over the years. And it had been about six years since I had had a coach.

unknown 7:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:30

And so I knew that I already wanted one. I really wanted to make sure that she was a believer, but I really wanted someone who could understand and relate to what to where I was in my life. And at that point when I met you, I don't know if you'll, if you remember the conversation like I do, but I was at a place where I did not want to set one more goal. I was burnout. I was sick of the constant hustle of the constant feeling like I always needed to perform. And you're like, oh my gosh, I can relate to that, you know? And I said, Am I your am I your ideal client? You're like, yeah, Joy. Yeah, I can help you. You know, I was that person too. You know, honestly, God really started working on my identity in 2024. So I really needed someone who could speak identity over me and into me because I've had really good success. I've had a great career, you know. However, God was like, I can't take you to the next level until you learned that your identity is in me and not in what you do. You know, because as soon as I, you know, didn't have the quote unquote success or wasn't on the stage or wasn't earning all the rewards or whatever, I felt like a total failure. And it numbed me. It made me, when I was around other people, like at different events and things like that, it made me shrink back. Because when I was in the spotlight, it was easy because people would come to me. But when I wasn't in the spotlight, I would shrink back and not even really infiltrate and talk to people, Amy, was the most bizarre thing. Well, as personable and you're such a people person.

Amy Ramsey 9:09

I know. Yeah, no, that that is that performance and striving and thinking that the achievement and accomplishment is the success, is such a a ploy that I think bait from the enemy and for ambitious, you know, God made us very ambitious, right? And it's like the lure of the world, it's just you don't even, you know, for anybody listening to this, maybe you're feeling the same thing. I have the same experience, and that's why we connected so well over this. I had the same exact experience. And until you get that my identity is anchored, it's secure, I am successful, I am loved, I am chosen, I am incredible, remarkable. There's nothing more that I could add to this that would change my identity. That's hard for an ambitious go-getter to not wrap their success up in the next level. Yeah. The titles I have a mentor who says titles become idols, and it's so true.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Yeah, that's where I was. And I mean, you know, I a lot of people, I mean, don't are not willing to take the time to do the work, you know, to because it's messy. It was messy. When I was looking at myself and where I was in my career, I was actually sick of myself because I had idolized, yeah, the title, you know, the success. And I, I was like, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't do this anymore. And I literally prayed to God, I said, God, if you still want me doing what I'm doing, you have to bring the right women to me because I don't want to reach out to one more person about this. I'm like, it just because I had these, I had expectations on every single person I met. When you come from sales, Amy knows this. When you come from sales, everyone is a is a is a sale. Everyone is, oh my gosh, that could be my my next business partner, or that could be my next, you know, sale or customer or whatever. And so what I do now, which is a lot so much, so much more different, right? Is I look at people as people. Yeah. Right.

Amy Ramsey 11:14

And and some people won't be able to understand what you're saying, but I I want to validate, I will never forget I was doing well in in a company and I remember singing on the worship team from stage and looking out and seeing somebody and thinking, oh, maybe I need to go talk to them about the business. And it was a aha moment for me. And I realized I'm I'm done. I actually quit that immediately. I was like, apparently that this is not who I am and not who my I'm becoming, but it can, but there's healthy ways. That's the hard part with people like us that are all or nothing. Like, yeah, okay, give me the goal. I'm what's the what do you want me to do? Let me go. Okay, tell me what to do. Don. It's done. You can count on me. I will do it. For people like us, it it really is that all or nothing mindset that is the reason why we can have such great accomplishments. And it's to the detriment of our health, of our perspective, of all of that. So it's like, okay, can I relearn? Can I trust myself? Can I walk in obedience? Can I walk in humility? Can I walk totally surrendered to the Holy Spirit in every movement and move forward in this? And that's where you were, I felt, when we had that conversation, you were still wondering, could you trust yourself? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Yeah, because I again, you know, I just knew that the way that I was operating my business, I didn't want to do that anymore.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:51

I didn't want to hustle 24-7, sacrifice time for my family. I just, I just wasn't there. And so I was like, is there a way? Is there a way to be a successful businesswoman, build a thriving business, and be present with my family? Is there a way? And you were like, you know, absolutely. There's, you know, and so since working with you, right? It's like, I've literally learned how to work from a place of rest. Oh, praise God. I'm telling you. It's it is it is life-changing. You know, you and I are very similar. We're very extroverted, very loud, very excited, bubbly, energetic. I operated a lot on hype and emotion. Yeah. Okay. Now, the way that I present myself now is I still bring the energy. Come on. But I'm grounded. Come on. And it's not chaotic. And it's not emotional a roller coaster. Yeah. I have goosebumps, right? Because it's it's the way that I'm showing up and walking in that authority as a daughter of the most high king. And like when you know how to do that and you know what it takes, you know, to walk in that, you're just like, oh my goodness, this is what life is supposed to be like as believers. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Good.

Working From Rest With Hebrews 4

SPEAKER_01 14:09

You know, I you're getting me excited over here. That's so good, Joy.

Thirty-Day Shift Through Thought Audits

Amy Ramsey 14:13

That is so good. I want to go back to that working from rest. And there's a scripture in Hebrews 4, and that's what she's referring to. And one of the some of the let me read it right here. I've got the statement right here in the transforming truths, which is a we'll go to this next. Joy had a transformation in 30 days using one of the tools that are in the accelerate her. But here's a transforming thought. This is what I call this a transforming truth. I work from rest, knowing God's power, presence, and peace are my supernatural success strategy. When we operate in the dye, yeah, the dunamas power that's already inside of us, and we trust him, and there's abundance and we reject scarcity, there's not enough, and I have to do it on my own, you know, re-reject the pride and humble ourselves, powerful things can happen. Okay, so I do remember, and I feel like what I heard you say here was things were chaotic, you were emotional, you were inconsistent because of that. And what you what has been the big game changer for you, and we're gonna talk about this next, is what you needed was structures and systems and a CEO mindset to move you forward and not hype, not emotion, not the you know, waiting on the next wave of motivation, but a different approach altogether. So can you take us because you said something so powerful that happened to you in 30 days. So can you just take us there?

SPEAKER_00 15:52

When I went to the Global Leadership Summit, I was praying about that trip because that was a whole the way the way I even got there was a whole God thing. Like God opened that door and I was, I wasn't even supposed to go to that. It just opened up. Okay. And so I went there and I literally said to God, I said, God, I don't need to be inspired, I don't need to be motivated. I am here to learn on how to be grounded and how to have systems and how to be productive. Come on. Okay. Because I've been a part of lots of inspirational mode. I love that kind of stuff. When I'm with you, you fire me up. When I listen to Ed Milette, when Craig Reschelt speech, it's like I get fired up. I'm like, I don't need that. I don't need that. I need someone to tell me what to do. Yeah. And then I met you in person.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

Oh, you're giving me God all over the place.

SPEAKER_00 16:41

Like, what? And so I was like, okay, this is awesome, right? And so, you know, just so I joined your program at the end of December. And within literally, yeah, within 30 days, I mean, I could not believe the way I was showing up. And before that, or maybe it was during, no, at the beginning of December, our church did a 10-day fast as a leadership team. And God made it very clear to me that I had not surrendered my thought life to Him.

SPEAKER_03 17:12

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Because I was still letting the enemy rent space in my head. Okay. And so I was already very aware and I started writing down my thoughts and like keeping an audit.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

And then I joined your program and then you started talking about identity statements and the truth loop and and all of these things. And I'm like, oh my goodness, the way that it all flowed together could not have been better timing. Timing, that timing. Yeah.

Renewing The Mind With Identity

Amy Ramsey 17:41

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. That's incredible. So part of what we do in the Accelerate Her program or any work with me program is we we focus on identity. That is the foundation of all of us moving forward because we operate from who we already are. As believers, I'm speaking believer talk. What does that mean? I'm speaking those that have surrendered and submitted to Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Okay. When we do that, we are given, we're a new, we're a new creation and all things are made new. And according to the scripture, when we stand in authority, as Joy said, we are we when we operate and we fight for our identity of we're already loved. We're already chosen. Oh my gosh, I'm thinking of that song gyro. Remember, I'm already loved. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

I'm already chosen. Yes. I know what I know what you've spoken, but those words, there was a reason why that song was so popular.

Amy Ramsey 18:41

Yeah. And I have a friend that we'll actually talk about at the Worthy Woman Summit. She just, she and I actually sang that as a duet at my 50th birthday party, um, gyra, because that was our favorite song. But um in my office, I'm looking at it. She always said, God has a plan and his plan is good. And she still says it from heaven. She's no longer here with us on this earth. Um, but all that to say, when we understand who we are and we operate from that, and that is where we are moving, it is powerful how it changes your mind, but you have to fight for it. And you and what I struggled with, and the reason why I was so passionate to teach a system around this and try to make it easier, but coach women through the identity process and use neuroscience behind the renewing your mind, Romans 12, too, is that's who you already are, but you've got to fight for that to build those, to re the Bible calls it renewing your mind. Neuroscience calls it rewiring your mind. So we call it renew, rewire, renew, rehearse, rewire. And that is how you build new neural pathways. And it's crazy how quickly it works. In 30 days, you had a massive shift, a massive transition. CEO boss, babe, you understood what you needed to do. We worked together one-on-one on helping you formulate the plan.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

So I would say biggest thing I started doing is I put together an identity statement over myself, right? And so I can read, let me read what I what I say over myself every day because I've been doing this now for, I don't know, 60, 70 days now. So it says, I am a disciplined, spirit-led leader who takes consistent daily action and creates momentum, growth, and impact everywhere I show up. I am capable and focused. My consistency creates results. I steward my calling with excellence. God blesses what I build faithfully, and every day I grow stronger and more aligned. I operate from a place of peace, confidence, conviction, expectancy, and gratitude. I choose consistency. I choose focus. I choose follow through. I lead with excellence, conviction, and purpose. I am unshakable in Christ, and my results rise to match the leader that I am becoming.

Amy Ramsey 20:48

I'm not saying you did this. I'm gonna give this for our listeners for this. Did you use AI to help you formulate? I did. I did. Okay, you guys, what she did, that's not who she was when she started. Correct. Okay, so here's the thing: your brain doesn't know a lie from the truth, it really doesn't. And it looks for what you feed it. And when you are declaring these truths and these changes that you want to see in your life, it's powerful. So use AI. That's beautiful. I absolutely love that. I absolutely love that. And and use the word of God. I mean, have it grounded. And I heard you say many times through that consistent, consistent, consistent, because that's where you were struggling with what yeah, no, and again, when I would see the most results, obviously, when I was consistent, but then I would drop the ball.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

Like I dropped the ball, right? And so, and I also was very emotion-led and not spirit-led. So that to me, in my first paragraph that I speak of my about myself is the most important thing I've done is I say I'm spirit-led and I'm consistent. Come on, come on.

Why Coaching Creates Legacy Impact

Amy Ramsey 21:50

So good, Joy. Yeah, so good, Joy. Um, I'm so excited for the transition and the change and and you're becoming a woman who follows through. That's who you are. That's who you are. And I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of your success. Let me ask you this: if there was a woman and she was looking at the accelerate her program and thinking, I want to go to the next level. Maybe she's not worked with a coach or a group coaching program. Could you explain why this is different from anything you've ever done? And and what what would you say to her?

SPEAKER_00 22:25

Um, so for me, anytime I hire a coach, it's because they are where I want to be. So when I met Amy, I was like, Well, she's where I want to be. High performing, working from rest and not hustle. And so if you are someone who Yeah, you're struggling, you're stuck, you feel like you're not enough, you feel like you're not worthy, you feel like you're you're constantly like in a fight with the enemy and the thoughts that he brings into your mind. I would say go for it because to me, the identity piece in this is what has completely changed how I show up every day. So not only is it affecting me personally, but it is affecting my marriage, it is affecting my children, it is affecting the leaders that I work with. And that is what creates impact. So it's not it's not about you. Like it was about me doing this, but we're here for generational impact. Yeah, we're not here for just let's make a difference in my life. Like I've done that, I've had a great, a pretty great life, but I want to leave a legacy. Come on, come on, right? And that's what to me that this this program is all about. Oh wow, praise God.

Amy Ramsey 23:58

So good, so good. I'm excited to see all that's next for you. What I believe the X accelerate her program, you know, we use systems and we use strategies. There's a planner, there's accountability and weekly coaching. That's a big part. Oh, yeah, there you go, there you go. And and it's game changer. I had to write, I had to have a resource that was rinse and repeat and teaches rhythms for us to move forward. And so that's what that's about. And accelerate her is about. Here's the way I I feel like is an accurate way to describe it. Align spiritually, conquer productivity, achieve results. What are the results that you want? You know, what is it that you want? What's going to move your life forward and leave that impact that you're called to make? It's about kingdom impact. If nothing else, it's about kingdom impact.

Control The Inputs Not Outcomes

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Yeah, and I I want to share one more thing, too, that this is really, really, really, really big. I used to focus on results. Because I focused on results and then I didn't get the results I wanted. That's what created the cycle of me feeling like a failure and not worthy and not enough and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And so now what's different, right, is I focus on what I can control. I remember the first time I started coaching with you, I put up a goal and you're like, but you can't control that. What can you control? You can control your reach outs. You can control your daily activity, your daily input. Right. And so, because now I'm focused so much on, okay, what are my controllables? What are my three non-negotiables? What are my three highest priorities for this quarter? That's what I can control. And so now, even if I don't hit the quote unquote goal I have for myself, guess who is progressing? Me.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

Right?

Where To Find Joy Farley

Amy Ramsey 25:52

And so yeah, the the goal is not about the goal. That's the crazy thing. The goal, we we we perform more toward excellence when we have so that first part is spiritual alignment. Yeah. If we're not aligning spiritually, we get into the self-life, and the self is gonna lead us to performance and striving, right? But a spiritually aligned ambition and stewarding your ambition starts with Jesus and the surrender. And then it's what can I control? Like to tell somebody to say, well, my goal is gonna lose 30 pounds. It's like, uh, okay, well, if you're in perimenopause or menopause, we've got to have a whole nother conversation around that. And I know that you're, you know, anyway, the what is in your control? What are the actions that you can control? And we really work on that. And I think that group coaching set is the place where you get that feedback. That was in the Facebook group. We've got a crazy awesome Facebook group as well. Yeah. And and just it, and it's true sisterhood. It's a true sisterhood of women rising together. There's no competition, there's only collaboration. Franny said this earlier. She said something, and I don't know if she put, I think I put this together, so I don't want to claim it, but she's just talking about being not on mission, but commissioned. We're commissioned to go. And I think that's what the the the women coming, it's not competition, it's commissioned. We're let's go and we'll rise together. I'm so excited for you. I'm so proud of you. And I feel like I am watching a movie and I've got all this popcorn. I'm like, oh, what's next? What's next for Joy's life? Okay, you guys tell everybody where they can find you, Joy.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

Yeah. So you guys can all find me on Instagram and Facebook. Instagram is Joy Elizabeth Farley, Facebook is just Joy Farley, and I'm also on LinkedIn with a weekly newsletter. She also represents, you want to tell them about your company? Yeah. So I am partnered up with an online health and wellness manufacturer called Melaluca. And I've been with them for the last nine years.

Amy Ramsey 27:49

So if you guys are looking for a little extra something or you're looking for a great place to purchase products, health products, health and wellness. They have all sorts of stuff. So reach out to Joy. All right, my dear. Well, at the time of this recording, we get to see each other in sub two weeks. Woo! I know. I know it's gonna be amazing. And just thank you, Joy, for your yes. Thank you for your obedience. Thank you for doing the work. Because you're doing that work, it's showing someone else that they can. So I'm so proud of you as a coach and as a friend and as a sister in Jesus. All right, guys, thanks so much. A new podcast drops every Tuesday. You can join us here. If you enjoy what you saw today, screenshot it, tag both of us, and we'll repost you. All right, you guys. Thanks so much. Bye bye.