34 - What Separates Those Who Leap (Solo With Your Host!)
[00:00:00] Welcome to Life Leaps Podcast, here inspiring stories of ordinary people who made extraordinary life changes. What drove them, what almost held them back, insights for the rest of us considering life leaps, big or small, because hearing someone else do it reminds us that we can too.
Happy Wednesday, everyone. Today, I want to talk about one of the most important themes or threads. I've seen emerge from the dozens of interviews I've done with people who've made life leaps. This theme has held true. Despite the varying ages, geographic locations, types of leap. And totally different walks of life of all my guests. And the closer I look, the more, I also see it in my own life and leap. It's a bias for action. And it's not necessarily something that comes naturally.
In fact, the more I read research, learn and experience, it [00:01:00] seems to be something we can confuse with a lot of other things. But if we know what it is, And why it's important. We can actually cultivate it. Today. I want to talk about how, how it matters, how we can often confuse it for just plain motion.. And how we can and should treat it like a thing we can strengthen and grow to help us make life changes. Okay, so first, what is this thing, having a bias for action. And why do I care? So when Juan and I recently recorded our leap in progress update episode on our own family career, all things, life leap to Spain. We kind of surprised ourselves when we both kept saying we had no idea how hard this would be finding an apartment visa schools, the whole moving, a toddler, and two pets across the ocean thing. And that, well, here was the surprise part.
We kind of looked at each other and we were like, Maybe that was a good thing. That we didn't know how hard it would be. And [00:02:00] we were instead focused on the doing part. The trying part that we'll figure it out as long as we can, until we can't part. Because if we'd known the whole road ahead, We might not have done it in well, we're really glad we did. So then I started really listening to old episodes.
That's still in progress by the way. So maybe more of these solo reflection episodes coming your way. but I started noticing a similar trend. How many of my guests kept saying in different ways sometimes jokingly like, oh, I was just really impatient. Or chiding themselves for how little information they had or outright saying, like I had no idea, but it became more important to try and try. And then keep trying. Nobody seems to have fully known what they were in for, but to have been willing, to just do the thing anyways. To, to try it. And then recently, Jade. The founder of the mindful step in Porto, Portugal.
I think it was episode [00:03:00] 32. Just came out and put a name to it. She was like, well, I've always had a bias for action. And I was like, huh? That phrase really resonates. But not all my guests have always had this bias. Some have always played it more safe and then eventually something happens. They get fired, they quit, they come into money.
They lose a bunch of money. You name it. And they leave. So I've always kind of asked myself, like, what makes them do that? How does someone get to that thing that makes them leap? So I started thinking about this bias for action and, you know, I did what any scholar. We're doing this situation. I Googled it. Joking, but not I did.
I want an F. I wanted an official definition and the Google will tell you it's basically the tendency to favor action over inaction. A willingness to take risks, calculated risks. Even in, or especially in the face of uncertainty. So why does this matter here? [00:04:00] Well, if it's not already obvious, we need this. Because nobody knows what the future holds and if we can't absorb the risk of uncertainty, Our role becomes really quite small. Either that, or we're tricking ourselves into thinking things are more, certain, more secure, more stable than they probably are.
Either way leaps aren't happening, change isn't happening, growth isn't happening. Nothing is happening. When we're staying only in the safe space when we're staying only in the space, that's comfortable. So I'm always asking everyone basically, how do we nudge ourselves into this growth space? How did they do it?
How should I do it? into that willingness to take risks, calculated ones in the face of uncertainty.
We quit the safe job we get fired and instead of sinking or going back to what we know, we use it as fuel to finally try entrepreneurship. We retire and decide. Nevermind. I'm not done yet. How do we get the courage to do that hard thing? So here's where a little [00:05:00] more research fits in. Not, not just the Google kind.
I promise. But y'all, we can train our brain on this stuff. We can train our brains to be brave, just like we can train our bodies to be strong. Courage really is as one of my favorite quotes of all time on this podcast. Uh, Travis Moore, founder of tech, Congress, and episode three said. Courage really is a muscle. And we train it, not by thinking, but by doing. So. The research I'm off my soapbox now. Okay.
Recently I was reading Adam clears book, atomic habits. Which talks about how repeating a behavior actually strengthens the neural pathways in our brains to eventually. Rewire themselves to make that behavior a habit. This idea of neuroplasticity that our brains can adapt and change in response to the experiences we have. It's been around a long time and a lot of fields, but atomic habits broke it [00:06:00] down in one way.
And perhaps just at the right time. That really made me see how it applied also to life's leaps. First. Clear gave this example of how a university of Florida professor Jerry ULA. Smuin. don't know Jerry, but, but thank you, Jerry. I told his photography class one semester, like, okay. Half of you will be created based on quantity alone. The sheer number of photos you produce this semester, the more, the better.
And the other half. Graded only on quality. The quality of one single photo. And then I guess, you know, happy semesters, he wouldn't have many months. It's like the hunger games out there. But, what happened at the end of the semester? Really shocked him and me. Which was that the quantity group. Had way better photos, like by a long shot. Turned out that with all that experimenting and focus on [00:07:00] process. Just taking photos. Messing around with them by continuing to just create those students got better, like a lot better through the act of doing. The other half. I'm assuming terrified and hyper-focused on this one photo and the way it carried, I can relate, sat around, speculating reading, thinking, philosophizing, who knows. But apparently did not actually improve. Or produced nearly as good a photo in the end. At that point clear reminds us it's easy to get bogged down, trying to find the optimal plan for change. And as a result, of course, To do nothing at all. clear talks more than about this idea of being in motion. Versus taking action.
Uh, distinction, which reminded me a bit of the way I see the act of worrying, which is like a little dust devil, [00:08:00] just whirling around in circles, moving all the time. Sure. And certainly creating quite the scene all around, but of course not actually going anywhere. Not that my realization of the futility of worry stops me from worrying all the time, but That's probably the subject for another podcast therapy session or both. Bottom line. So many of us spend so much time sputtering around mistaking motion for progress.
And even when our arrows are pointed in the right direction, that's to say, we're inspired. We know we want to change. We know we want a new path. Maybe if we even know how or what. But then we spend way too much time in the getting inspired. Consuming content planning pre-planning stages that we never actually do the damn thing. We never take the leap. we talk ourselves out of everything. Rod Sanchez.
My very first life leaps podcast episode, I interviewed him and his wife, Jess, about packing up their two small kids. And [00:09:00] traveling the world for two years and making money while doing it, using skills that neither of them actually had a background in to start. Uh,
but rod talked about how so many people consume all this content and get inspired. And then don't take the next step. Adam clear, liken this to writing down ideas for that trip you're going to take, or that article you're right. But you haven't actually started writing. You're reading about weight loss, but you haven't actually yet gone to the gym. Some of that planning as well and good and fide and maybe necessary, but where do we draw the line?
And also let's make sure to see it for what it is and not let ourselves get a false feeling of progress without actually taking the first more concrete step. Clear also points out that staying in the safe space where we commit to motion, but not action. Let's us feel progress without actually having to deal with the prospect of failing. The act of failing the possibility of criticism of [00:10:00] judgment by others. In that way, the prep can become sort of a form of safe procrastination. So this brings me to the grand point here. And probably the point of this podcast and a key part of all of our life goals. Which is how do we go? From the safe space. To the growth space. How do we get the courage to take the step? Well turns out you may have to step first. And trust that courage will come. Like babies.
We don't learn to walk by reading about how to walk. We learn to walk by moving and falling and getting up again. And till we master it. So, if you want to feel brave, you have to start doing things outside of your comfort zone. If you want to feel creative, you have to start painting or writing. Or whatever creativity looks like for you. If you want to feel [00:11:00] athletic, you got to start going to the gym. Even when it sucks, even when it's hard. Especially when it's hard, turns out. Because we need to be the changes we want to feel. So start making little choices, the tiniest of them that reactivate those muscles in yourself.
Again, to my atomic habits, revelation. So clear talks about these brain studies done on these groups of musicians and mathematicians and how in those groups. Really specific parts of their brains lit up were bigger and stronger in the brain areas that correlated to their craft. And it was the same with taxi drivers, the area of the brain involved in spatial memory. I was bigger for them. But that those same areas then decreased again, went back to normal size or activity level with retirement. Which tells us that taxi drivers, aren't just born with these really strong spatial memory, taxi, [00:12:00] driving friendly based part of their brains.
Mathematicians may be born a little better at math shore, but it's only through repetition. That those areas of the brain actually turn great, actually turn into something. And brave people. Aren't just born brave. It's frequent repetition that cuts the pathway that wires our minds and our bodies for these things. Repetition as clear says is a form of change. So, I guess we could have just all sort of called this episode, fake it till you make it, which is kind of what we're all doing anyways. But this week, I want to challenge you. To not just get inspired by this podcast or okay.
Maybe do. Maybe even leave a five star review. I like, I won't fight you on that. Go for it. But after that, Go and actually do whatever else in your life it is. That makes you feel power control [00:13:00] flow. Cultivate those things. Yes. And then go and do one thing that makes you feel a little afraid. Do it anyways, don't do it.
Despite the fear and discomfort. Do it, but because of that, We naturally go through these periods of expansion and contraction in our lives. We can't be firing on all cylinders all the time. But if some area of your life has gone fallow, or you feel like you need to make a change, but can't quite ever seem to get there. To be where you want to be. Start small. With repetition.
It can turn really big. And when you've done it, let me know. I want to hear it. Whatever thing it is, big or small. Ask for the raise, have the difficult conversation with your friend or partner that you've been dreading. Having walked down the street, singing out loud with your headphones in your ears for five seconds straight, even if there's nobody else on that [00:14:00] street. Skip up and down the sidewalk. I don't know.
I don't care. Whatever it is, do something that makes you uncomfortable. And see what it locks inside. You. Then try doing it again. And again, and again. See where it leads. Email me lively podcast@gmail.com Instagram message me or whatever. We'll check back in in two weeks and I will share some of the answers from our listeners. For now. Till next time.
Thank you all for being here. We're a brand new podcast, so if you enjoyed it, go ahead and follow, rate, and review us in your podcast app so that we can know what you liked and others can find us. It would mean a lot. Last, but not least, we'll keep you posted on brand new episodes each week when you follow us on Facebook or Instagram at, you guessed it, Life Leaps Podcast.
Till next [00:15:00] time.