This week it’s all about 

feel the fear and do it any way! 

It’s a crucial part of personal growth.

When was the last time you felt the fear and did it anyway?

Mine a box jump in the gym. 

1.Felt it.

2.Made the desire to do it bigger than the fear. (Imagined it done) 

3.Practiced often on a smaller one (bite sized chunks)

4.Did it! 

5.Did it again! 

However, by facing fears head-on, we open ourselves up to transformative opportunities and profound personal development. 

3 steps to get you from where you are to where you want to be!

STEP 1 - Identify Your Fears: The first step to conquering fear is to shine a light on it. 

Take a moment to identify and acknowledge what exactly you're afraid of. 

When it comes to facing our fears, it's crucial to go beyond the surface-level discomfort.

 For example  the fear of meeting a significant other: On the surface, it may seem like a simple reluctance, but when you go deeper you  uncover a fear of being hurt or betrayed stemming  from past experiences of disloyalty or abandonment. 

Whether it's fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown, understanding

 your fear is the cornerstone of overcoming it.   

STEP 2 - Challenge Your Beliefs: 

Once you've identified your fears, 

question the beliefs underlying them.

Ask yourself:  Are they serving me, or holding me back?

 Challenging the validity of your fears,  strips away their power over you. 

By challenging these beliefs, you can  to dismantle their hold over you and see them for what they usually are: 

limitations that can be overcome with a shift in perspective and mindset. 

 STEP 3 - Take Courageous Action: 

Courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to act despite it. 

Take small, deliberate steps towards facing your fears.

 Start with manageable challenges and gradually expand your comfort zone.

 Remember, each step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to freedom from fear and closer to your full potential. 

fear is natural, but not insurmountable.   

Affirmation of the week.. 💎 

"I welcome fear as a chance to grow. 

In times of tragedy, hope can be found even amidst the darkest of days. Despite the challenges we face, stories of resilience and courage emerge, reminding us of the human spirit's strength.

You know that feeling when you are struggling with a particular situation, and you see someone overcoming something similar – that little flicker is called HOPE. From the ongoing global crises to our own personal struggles, finding hope becomes a guiding light through the shadows.

In exploring this topic for the week, we witness the transformative power of hope to bring solace and renewal, even in our darkest moments.

Almost immediately springing from the stories of tragedy, we begin to hear of miraculous moments of kindness, compassion, empathy and evidence of the resiliency of the human spirit. In one moment, the world unites and with one gentle, generous hand, reaches out to touch those who have been hurt by devastation.

Kindness is demonstrated by people worldwide who see catastrophe and whose hearts are touched and then act in kindness. We hear of people fundraising, gifting food or clothing, attending rallies or depending on the circumstances, travelling to the troubled spot or person to help.

The strength of the human spirit is demonstrated in a profound way when viewed through tragedy.

I am amazed when I hear the stories of human triumph born out of tragedy—amazing stories of the will to survive and the will to help others survive. We as one person cannot change the entire world, but we can certainly give the world our best. We can be inspired by the acts of kindness born out of these circumstances that bond the human race together, show the strength of the human spirit and give hope of better things to come. Although we are never glad when tragedy visits, we can be aware and seize the opportunity to do good in this world.

Affirmation of the week.. 💎

"Through my toughest times, I hold onto that flicker of hope, lighting the way to better days."

Here are 3 questions that may help you to find that glimmer of hope if you are struggling at this time;

(Grab your journal / a pen and paper!)

1.       Reflect on your current emotions and write down how you're feeling. Explore the reasons behind these emotions and any patterns or triggers you may notice.

2.       You have faced challenges before – How did you overcome them? How did you navigate through those difficult times, and what strengths or resources did you draw upon? Maybe you spoke to a professional, maybe you took some time off or asked someone to help you out.

3.       Write down some things you are grateful for right at this moment, no matter how small. Your health, your partner, your dog, your friends, your home, your beautiful eyes. Take some time to really feel that gratitude. This can be hard to do when you are really challenged, but I promise it helps.

4.       Visualise a future where you've overcome your current struggles and are thriving. Write about the person you want to become and the life you’d envision for yourself.

If you’d like further support, as always – please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Today I want to discuss something that most of us will go through from time to time, some of us (me included!) more than others.

✨Perfectionism✨

What is Perfectionism?

Perfectionism is a trait that makes life an endless report card on accomplishments or looks. When healthy, it can be self-motivating and drive you to overcome adversity and achieve success. When unhealthy, it can be a fast and enduring track to unhappiness.

What makes extreme perfectionism so toxic is that while those in its grip desire success, they are most focused on avoiding failure, resulting in a negative orientation. They don’t believe in unconditional love, expecting others’ affection and approval to be dependent on a flawless performance.

Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressures, such as the desire to avoid failure or harsh judgment. There is likely a social component as well, because perfectionistic tendencies have increased substantially among young people over the past 30 years, regardless of gender or culture. 

Perfectionism can arise from a combination of internal and external factors, and its roots can vary from person to person. Here are some common causes of perfectionism:

·         Cultural and Societal Pressure: Societal norms emphasising success and external validation, exacerbated by the influence of social media, contribute to the pressure to conform to unrealistic standards.

·         Parental and Family Influences: Growing up in an environment where parental approval is contingent upon achievement or success can foster perfectionism, as individuals internalise the fear of failure or rejection.

·         Personality Traits and Insecurity: Certain personality traits, such as conscientiousness and a strong desire for control, along with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, may contribute to the development of perfectionism as a coping mechanism.

In a world obsessed with perfection, the journey of embracing imperfection might seem daunting.

However, it is a path that can lead to profound self-acceptance and personal growth.

Embracing imperfection is about acknowledging that being flawed is an intrinsic part of being human.

By letting go of the pursuit of unattainable perfection, we can unlock the true potential within ourselves. 

How can you overcome Perfectionism?

Letting go of the comparison mindset can help you to achieve at a high level, without being beholden to some impossibly perfect ideal.

Some steps to help you to achieve this;

1.       Set Realistic Goals: Break down your tasks into smaller, achievable goals, and set realistic expectations. Understand that perfection is unattainable, and focus on progress rather than flawless outcomes. This shift in mindset can alleviate the pressure associated with perfectionism.

2.       Practice Self-Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. When faced with mistakes or setbacks, acknowledge them without harsh self-criticism. Understand that everyone makes mistakes, and these moments are opportunities for learning and growth.

3.       Challenge Negative Thoughts: Actively challenge and reframe negative thoughts related to perfectionism. Question the unrealistic standards you set for yourself and consider more balanced and compassionate perspectives. Recognise the value in imperfection and acknowledge that your worth is not solely determined by flawless performance. Engaging in cognitive restructuring can help reshape perfectionistic thinking patterns.

What are healthy boundaries?

Healthy boundaries serve as the essential framework for maintaining balance and well-being in various aspects of our lives. These boundaries are like the invisible lines we draw to define our own personal limits, both with ourselves and in our interactions with others. 

Establishing and communicating these boundaries is an empowering act of self-care, creating space for personal growth, maintaining a sense of autonomy, and contributing to a more fulfilling and peaceful life. In essence, understanding and implementing healthy boundaries is the cornerstone of cultivating a life that aligns with our own personal values and promotes overall well-being.

Some signs you could be lacking in personal boundaries;

·         Overwhelming Stress: Always busy?! Frequent stress may indicate a lack of personal boundaries, often due to difficulty setting limits on commitments.

·         Difficulty Saying No: Challenges in saying 'no', possibly driven by a fear of disappointing others.

·         Feeling Taken Advantage Of: Consistently feeling taken advantage of in relationships, emphasising the need to assert limits.

·         Undefined Sense of Self: Struggling to define personal values, impacting the ability to maintain a distinct sense of self.

Imagine a friend who frequently reaches out for favours, often expecting immediate assistance without considering your availability or boundaries. Without setting boundaries, this can become overwhelming, impacting your personal time and causing stress.

Positive result of setting boundaries

Recognising the need for balance, you communicate with your friend about the importance of your time and well-being. You kindly express your willingness to help within reasonable limits, emphasising the importance of occasionally saying no to prioritise your own needs. By setting these boundaries, your friend becomes more considerate, understanding the value of respecting both your capacity to assist and your personal time. This shift allows you to maintain a healthier balance in your life, fostering a more sustainable and fulfilling friendship.

 Here are 3 practical steps to take today, to start implementing boundaries into your life;

 1.       Self-Reflection: (Great time for the journal!) Begin by reflecting on your own needs, values, and limits. Identify areas in your life where you feel overwhelmed, stressed, or lacking in personal space. Consider what boundaries would help create a more balanced and positive experience for you. This self-awareness is the foundation for establishing effective boundaries.

 2.       Communication: Once you've identified the boundaries you need, practice clear and assertive communication. Be honest with yourself and others about your limits and expectations. Clearly express your needs and the reasons behind them, emphasising the importance of self-care and maintaining a healthy balance. Effective communication helps others understand your perspective and encourages mutual respect.

 3.       Consistent Implementation: Consistency is key to boundary-setting. Implement your boundaries consistently, both with yourself and with others. This may involve saying no when necessary, prioritising self-care routines, and reinforcing your limits in various situations. Over time, consistent boundary implementation reinforces the understanding that these limits are crucial for your well-being, fostering healthier relationships and a more balanced life.

What is Emotional Eating?

Emotional eating refers to the consumption of food as a response to emotional triggers rather than physiological hunger.

Individuals engage in emotional eating to cope with various emotions such as stress, overwhelm, sadness or boredom.

It often involves seeking comfort or distraction through food, and the consumption is driven by emotional needs rather than nutritional requirements. Emotional eating can become a habitual pattern, and addressing it typically involves recognising and managing the underlying emotions, developing alternative coping strategies, and fostering a more balanced relationship with food.

When we consume food, especially those with lower nutritional value, the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin in the brain plays a pivotal role in shaping our future eating behaviours. Foods high in sugars and refined carbohydrates may provide a temporary surge in pleasure and satisfaction due to the rapid release of dopamine, contributing to a sense of reward and pleasure.

However, these types of foods often lack the sustained nutritional content needed to keep us feeling full and satisfied over an extended period.  

What is Mindful Eating?

Mindful eating is a practice that involves cultivating a heightened awareness and presence during meals. It emphasises being fully engaged with the sensory experience of eating, including the taste, texture, and aroma of food, as well as recognising and responding to hunger and fullness cues. The goal of mindful eating is to bring a non-judgmental, intentional focus to the act of consuming food, fostering a healthier and more mindful relationship with eating and overall well-being.

Today’s fast-paced society offers people an abundance of food choices. On top of that, distractions have shifted attention away from the actual act of eating toward televisions, computers, and smartphones.

Eating has become a mindless act, often done quickly. This can be problematic since it takes time for your brain to register that you’re full. If you eat too fast, the fullness signal may not arrive until you have already eaten too much. This is very common in binge eating disorder.

By eating mindfully, you restore your attention and slow down, making eating an intentional act instead of an automatic one.

Building a more positive relationship with food may be quite straight forward for some but very difficult for others. However, there are many simple ways to get started, some of which can have powerful benefits on their own:

·         Eating more slowly — not rushing your meals.

·         Chewing thoroughly.

·         Eliminating distractions; for example, turning off the TV and putting down your phone.

·         Focusing on how the food makes you feel.

·         Stopping eating when you’re full.

·         Asking yourself why you’re eating, whether you’re truly hungry, and whether the food you chose is nutritious.

To begin with, it’s a good idea to pick one meal per day to focus on these points.

Once you feel confident in practicing the techniques, mindfulness will become more natural. Then you can focus on implementing these methods during more meals.

If you feel like you need more support on this – please don’t hesitate to reach out.

I hope this helps you in some way today !

“The key to a joyful life is found in the balance of a healthy Mind, Body & Soul”

As Valentine's Day was this week, and in the midst of the heart-shaped chocolates and romantic gestures, remember that the most important relationship is the one you have with yourself 💘

The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships – and that includes your relationship with yourself. Learning to love yourself is essential to your own happiness, to your success in relationships and to the way you interact with the world.

When you exude confidence and joy, you’ll attract others with the same zest for living. This improves the quality of your relationships, which improves your life. The cycle is clear – and it all starts with falling in love with yourself.

But where does self-love come from? And how can you build it?

Self-love comes from truly knowing and accepting yourself. It grows when you recognise your value, embrace your imperfections, and appreciate what makes you unique. It's about being kind to yourself, showing compassion, and understanding that your worth is intrinsic, not dependent on others' approval.

Building self-love is a transformative process that requires intentional effort and self-reflection.

Here are some ways to foster and strengthen self-love:

BE KIND TO YOURSELF (This takes practice !)

It seems simple, but it can be one of the hardest acts to master. We grow up in a society that is always telling us how to look, how to live and even how to feel. If you’re wondering how to love yourself, the first step is to give yourself permission to be human. The way you talk to yourself affects your mood and your behaviour. It’s OK to hold yourself to high standards and to feel negative emotions occasionally, but don’t get stuck in a cycle of negativity. Catch yourself when you fall into negative self-talk and make a conscious effort to change your words into something positive.

SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Setting boundaries is an essential act of self-love. It involves recognising and respecting your emotional and physical limits, creating a space that prioritises your own well-being. By clearly defining your boundaries, you empower yourself to communicate needs, say no when necessary, and invest time and energy in activities that align with your values. It's a powerful affirmation of your worth and a non-negotiable aspect of your self-love journey.

ADJUST YOUR PHYSICAL STATE

Your physical state – your posture, breath and movement – is the key to your emotional state. Start by straightening your spine, drop your shoulders back and raise your head high. SMILE 😊 These actions send signals to your brain that you’re proud and confident. Prioritise daily activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's walking, going to the gym or taking time for a hobby, self-care rituals contribute to a positive and nurturing relationship with yourself.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE

It’s true that your most important relationship is with yourself, but that doesn’t mean allowing negativity into your life. Surround yourself with people who truly care about you and think the best of you. Create healthy relationships that bring positivity to your life, and let go of any relationships that aren’t supportive and caring.

MEDITATE

Meditation is one way to not only change your breath – which is part of your physical state – but also to change your entire mindset. Meditation is a powerful tool for cultivating self-love and acceptance. Through regular practice, it fosters mindfulness, gently allowing individuals to explore thoughts and emotions without judgment. This introspection creates an opportunity to transform self-limiting beliefs and negative thought patterns, promoting a compassionate attitude toward oneself. 

I'm excited to kick off another week by sending you a dose of inspiration and motivation. My goal is simple: to fill your inbox with valuable thoughts, updates, and the positive energy you need to conquer the week ahead. Your feedback and thoughts mean a lot to me, so don't hesitate to reply !
Onto today’s topic - Unveiling the Truth Within Ourselves
Affirmation of the week.. 💎

"I let go of those untrue stories I tell myself. By facing my own truth, I make room for real beliefs and discover my true, highest potential."
Do you know that most of the time the stories we tell ourselves in our minds aren't true?
They're like made-up tales filled with self-doubt and wrong ideas about who we are. These thoughts can hold us back and stop us from growing. It's important to question these stories, challenge the lies we tell ourselves, and see our abilities in a more honest way. By doing this, we can open the door to personal growth and discover our true potential.

4 dangerous lies you might tell yourself (that are silently holding you back!)

 1. The lie of "I'll be happy when..." We all know this one right?!

Reframe: "I choose happiness in the present moment."

(it’s okay to want something, but make sure your happiness does not depend on it!)

 2. The lie of "I don't have time for [X]..."

Stop blaming time. We all make time for the things we really care about. 

 Reframe: "I don't have time for X in my schedule today, so if X is important to me, I will re-look at my current priorities."

 3. The lie of "I'm not capable of [X]..."

Self defeating language is always a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Reframe: "I may not be proficient in X yet, but I can learn and grow."

4. "I'm waiting for the perfect moment to do [X]..."

There's no such thing. The idea of waiting for the ‘perfect moment’ to do anything can be a subtle form of procrastination, often hindering progress. In reality, there might never be an ideal time, and waiting for perfection can lead to missed opportunities. Rather than delaying, consider embracing the present and taking incremental steps towards your goal. Understand that progress is often messy, and learning occurs through experience. By letting go of the notion of a perfect moment, you empower yourself to start the journey, make adjustments along the way, and discover that the process itself can be more rewarding than waiting for an elusive perfection.

Reframe: "Every moment is the perfect moment to start, embrace the imperfections, and grow along the way."

Challenge the stories you tell yourself this week.

Our thoughts can sometimes trick us with self-doubt and misleading tales.

Peel away those layers, question the lies, and embrace a more honest view of your abilities.

By doing so, you open the door to personal growth and unlock your true potential. Let authenticity guide your thoughts, and watch how it transforms your week.

 “A belief system is nothing more than a thought you’ve thought, over and over again”

Wayne W Dyer 

Today I want to discuss the importance of our daily practices.

I want to share a simple yet powerful reminder: “We get better at what we practice.”

The purpose of this reminder is to get away from the idea of being naturally ‘good’ or ‘bad’ at a given skillset and instead see the skill as being something we have practiced a lot or something we have little practice in. 

Consider the example of pull-ups at the gym. Whether you struggle with them or find them effortless, it’s not a testament to innate abilities but rather a reflection of your practice. This mindset has profound implications for personal and professional growth, challenging us to view our skills as dynamic and improvable.

An example in the professional world may be to become a better communicator. Whether it’s speaking in public or writing, practice refines our skills. Picture a colleague who used to struggle with presentations but, with practice, turned into a confident speaker.

Here are 3 practical steps to help you:

Step 1. Identify Areas for Improvement:

Reflect on aspects of your life where you want to see positive changes. If it’s effective communication, pinpoint specific situations like meetings or presentations where you can enhance your skills.

Step 2. Cultivate Daily Micro-Practices:

Break down your improvement goals into small, manageable tasks. For instance, if you’re working on time management, start by allocating focused blocks of time for different tasks each day. Consistent daily micro-practices add up over time.

Step 3. Regular Reflection and Adaptation:

Periodically assess your progress. If you’re aiming to cultivate a more positive mindset, reflect on your reactions to challenges. A good time to journal ! Adjust your approach based on what resonates positively, reinforcing the behaviours you want to cultivate.

In embracing the philosophy that ‘we become what we practice,’ let’s collectively foster a culture of intentional growth and continuous improvement.

Each small step we take today shapes the success we aspire to tomorrow.

Like I say;

“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now!”

Here’s to purposeful practice and the transformative journey ahead !

The final week of January !

 Are you in full flow with the New year's resolutions?

Maybe you’ve had a week or two in peak motivation and now it’s dwindling?

Or perhaps you’re just easing your way through this period of winter and embracing some downtime.

 Over the last few weeks we have discussed setting our goals for the year, so for those of you who are struggling with motivation and starting to procrastinate – this one's for you !

 Procrastination – the eternal struggle that feels all too familiar. It's that sneaky companion that hangs around when there's work to be done, convincing us that tomorrow is a much better day to start. We've all been there, staring at a to-do list, fully aware of what needs to be accomplished, yet finding ourselves inexplicably drawn to the allure of delaying the inevitable.

 It's not just about putting off tasks; it's a nuanced dance between what we need to do and the comfort of what we'd rather be doing – the familiar pull of instant gratification over delayed effort.

 You have a looming deadline on a task, but suddenly cleaning out the fridge or organising your sock drawer becomes an oddly appealing proposition? We've all been there ! We nod knowingly when a friend confesses to putting something off, recognising that we're all navigating the same struggle. It's a universal language of understanding – the art of postponing today's tasks for an illusory better time tomorrow.

 Relatable right ?!

 Believe it or not – you weren’t born a procrastinator. You didn’t procrastinate learning how to walk, talk or tie your shoelaces. You simply got on with it without all the inner chaos.

 With procrastination you’re not avoiding the action, but the feeling.

By getting to the root of the procrastination, we can see what we are actually avoiding;

·         The fear of making a mistake/wrong decision?

·         Fear of judgement/rejection?

·         Fear of disappointing yourself or someone else?

·         Fear of it not being perfect?

 Four questions to ask yourself when procrastinating;

 1.       What is procrastination trying to protect you from?

Making a ‘mistake?’ The rejection? Maybe there’s a financial risk? There are no bad parts, every part of you, including procrastination, has a purpose. Try to use curiosity over judgement.

 2.       What will completing this task take you closer to?

Zoom out. Look at the bigger picture. What do you want your life to look like? Connect with the reasons behind your goal. Understand the benefits and positive outcomes associated with completing the task. Whether it's personal growth, an advancement in your career, or improved well-being, take a look at what it is you really want.

 3.       What’s the easiest first step you can take?

Not the whole staircase – just the first step ! This has to be something quick, easy and straight forward to get the ball rolling. E.g. Make a quick plan, look up X online, contact someone who can help you or offer advice, ask someone to hold you accountable, put on your runners, set the timer on your phone, create a checklist.

 4.       How will you feel AFTER the task is completed?

Really connect with that satisfaction and plan a nice reward for when you’ve finished. This will energise you to get you started.

This week I was chatting to Frank about the power of imagination, Santa and our belief systems.

With all the family traditions, festive lights and delicious food, the holiday season is upon us !

This can be such a wonderful time of the year, but it can also be one of the most stressful times for a lot of people.

Christmas is often portrayed as a period of happiness, joy, relaxation, and celebration. Throw in social media and a barrage of perfectly decorated homes, perfectly curated feasts and posed happy families, and we expect that ours will of course look and feel the same.

However, for many, that shiny representation of the festive season feels far from the reality.

The Christmas period can be a very stressful time for many due to trying to manage work and festive stress, plus seasonal factors including financial burdens, overindulging, family conflict, feelings of loneliness and our own and other’s expectations of how Christmas should be. And sometimes, it feels like you’re running from one activity to the next.

Learning to manage your expectations and cope with stressful circumstances can minimise disappointment and mean you can actually reflect and fully appreciate all the fun and joy of Christmas and what it truly represents for you.

Here are 5 strategies to help you manage stress during the festive period.

1. PRIORITISE SELF-CARE

Allocate time for your usual self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, deep breathing exercises, or a favourite hobby. Although it’s a busy time - taking care of your mental and physical well-being is crucial during the festive season.

Establish boundaries to ensure you have moments of relaxation and personal time amidst the hustle and bustle.

2. PLAN AND ORGANISE

Create a realistic plan for your festive activities, including shopping, decorating, and social events. Break down tasks into manageable steps and set achievable goals to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Utilise calendars and to-do lists to stay organised and on top of deadlines. This can help prevent last-minute rushes and the associated stress.

3. LEARN TO SAY NO

Recognise your limits and be selective about the commitments you take on during the festive season. It's okay to decline invitations or scale back on certain activities to avoid spreading yourself too thin.

Communicate openly with others about your boundaries and priorities, emphasising the importance of maintaining a healthy balance.

4. SAVOUR THE MOMENTS – DISCONNECT TO RE-CONNECT

The festive season is all about spending quality time with families and friends. Our modern world makes it very hard to be truly present, but Christmas is a great time to practice this skill.

Disconnect from your screens to re-connect with the people that really matter in your life.

Time to get out the board games!

5. GIVE MORE THAN YOU EVER EXPECT TO RECEIVE

I’m not talking about presents and I’m definitely not talking about money. In my opinion, the most valuable thing anyone can ever give – is kindness.

Doing something for a friend, helping a stranger, volunteering, making a present, completing random acts of kindness or simply taking the time to genuinely thank someone will strengthen relationships and create experiences that material gifts can’t even get close to.

Kindness is a choice. It is the best gift you can give others because it’s contagious!

As always, if you need any further assistance or help in anyway, please do not hesitate to contact me.

The Cookie Thief

by Valerie Cox

A woman was waiting at an airport one night, with several long hours before her flight. 

She hunted for a book in the airport shops, bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, that the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be. . .grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, as the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. 

She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, thinking, “If I wasn’t so nice, I would blacken his eye.”

With each cookie she took, he took one too, when only one was left, she wondered what he would do. 

With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, he took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other, she snatched it from him and thought… oooh, brother. 

This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude, why he didn’t even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled, and sighed with relief when her flight was called. 

She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, then she sought her book, which was almost complete. 

As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, there was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

“If mine are here,” she moaned in despair, “the others were his, and he tried to share.” 

Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, that she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

We've got a story that's not just about cookies but about something much deeper – limiting beliefs. 

  Learning number 1

  The cookies were never stolen!!!

let's not jump to conclusions about ourselves and others. 

Sometimes, what we think is happening isn't the whole story. 

Give those assumptions a reality check

 Learning number  2 - 

The woman gets a little hangry, thinking, 'This guy has no manners!' 

But wait – he breaks the last cookie in half and offers a piece even though she was taking his stuff!

 Let's  get good at being kind! Sprinkle a little gratitude into our lives. Even in frustrating moments,  try and find  a wee taste of – a wee nugget of sweetness. Gratitude  is so powerful and can turn anything around."

Conclusion:

 Don't let limiting beliefs steal your joy!

Daily decisions design the destiny of our lives!” 

The event that Americans commonly call the "first Thanksgiving" was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in November 1621.

Are you naturally grateful or do you have to remind yourself to be grateful for all that you have ?
Do you practice ‘conscious’ gratitude?

"Gratitude, is the master key that unlocks the doors to a fulfilling and joyful life. 

It's not just a fleeting emotion tied to favourable circumstances.

it's a deliberate practice that shapes the lens through which we perceive and engage with the world.

Why is it important?

1.      because it anchors us in the present moment.

In all the  distractions and future-oriented worrying , the practice of acknowledging and appreciating the positives in our current reality grounds us.

 It's a powerful antidote to the “chase for more” mindset 

2.gratitude acts as a catalyst for resilience.

Life's journey is inevitably dotted with challenges, but a grateful mindset allows us to view setbacks as opportunities for growth. 

It reframes the narrative, helping us focus on what we've learned  from adversity rather than what we've lost. 

This resilience is a cornerstone for navigating life's twists and turns.

3gratitude is a magnet for positivity.

 by consciously appreciating the good, we attract more of it. 

it's a strategic life tool. 

It's about choosing to see the silver linings,. 

 3 steps to build your gratitude  skills in the lead-up to Thanksgiving:

 1.      Gratitude Journaling:

Start a gratitude journal.

spend a few minutes each day writing down three things you are grateful for.

2.      actively express gratitude often.

 write a heartfelt note,

 make a call,

 or engage in a small act of kindness to show appreciation.

Remember the ripple effect of gratitude 

3.      Visualization Exercise:

Incorporate a gratitude visualization exercise into your daily practice. 

Close your  eyes and visualize a future where your  goals and desires have been achieved, expressing gratitude for each step along the way.

 In the grand symphony of life, gratitude is the melody that makes each note more harmonious and your journey all the more extraordinary."

Lets face it, no one feels 100% confident, 100% of the time. 

 We’re faced with questions about work or running a business that we don’t know the answer to. We get outside our comfort zone when we try a new hobby or activity. First dates naturally give us the jitters. It’s all completely normal. 

 Overcoming our insecurities is a challenge each and every one of us must face. In business, relationships and all of life, many of us struggle with self-doubt as we question our skills and abilities. This breeds a negative state, and the fallout can wreak havoc on our work performance and overall well-being. But with the right tools and strategies, we can learn how to overcome them.

 What are Insecurities?

 Insecurities refer to feelings of doubt, uncertainty, and inadequacy that individuals may experience in various aspects of their lives. These feelings often stem from a lack of self-confidence or a negative self-image. Insecurities can manifest in different areas of a person's life, including personal, professional, and relationship insecurities.

 PERSONAL INSECURITIES

Include lack of confidence about how you look and what others think of you. You may feel anxious in social situations or avoid photos and mirrors. They often lead to unhealthy habits that are used as coping mechanisms.

PROFESSIONAL INSECURITIES

Perhaps you may be nervous about giving presentations, answering questions or going for that big promotion. You may think your skills don’t measure up to your colleagues or even suffer from imposter syndrome.

 RELATIONSHIP INSECURITIES

Feelings that you don’t deserve love or that your partner doesn’t really love you lead to jealousy, arguments and controlling behavior. None of these are healthy for your relationship.

 Overcoming these insecurities means examining what is causing your self-doubt so that you can learn to control your emotions.

 Understanding and overcoming insecurity begins with identifying its root causes.

 Insecurity, like any emotion, originates from our perspective and beliefs.

 When we perceive failures as obstacles rather than setbacks, it shapes our perspective positively. Our beliefs also influence our emotions; changing our beliefs about ourselves and the world can reduce insecurity.

 Here are 3 journaling prompts to help you understand and overcome insecurities:

 ·       Identify Your Triggers:

 Reflect on situations or events that make you feel insecure.

 What common themes or patterns do you notice?

 Write about the circumstances, your emotions, and any recurring thoughts associated with these triggers.

 ·       Explore Your Beliefs:

 Write about the beliefs you hold about yourself, your abilities, and your self-worth.

 Are these beliefs empowering or limiting?

 Challenge any negative beliefs and explore how changing them might help you feel more secure.

 ·       Practice Self-Compassion:

 Describe a recent situation in which you felt insecure.

 Write a letter to yourself, offering the same kindness, understanding, and support you would give to a close friend facing a similar situation.

 How does practicing self-compassion affect your perspective on your insecurities?

 ‘The greatest gift you can give yourself and others, is the gift of unconditional love & acceptance’

Our world today is filled with it’s own share of unexpected scares and uncertainties. Let's discuss what fear is and the different ways it can affect our lives.

 Fear is usually a reaction to something that is happening around you, but the feeling of fear arises within you.

 In other words, you are the source of your fear, not your circumstance.
What is Fear?
Fear is a powerful and often instinctual emotional response to a perceived threat or danger.
It can manifest as a heightened state of alertness, increased heart rate, and the anticipation of potential harm.

In real life, fear can take many forms. For instance, someone standing at the edge of a high cliff may experience fear as they look down and worry about falling. This is a tangible, physical fear associated with immediate danger.

 On the other hand, consider the fear of failure, which may prevent a student from pursuing a challenging academic course due to the anxiety of not performing well. This is a less tangible but equally potent example of fear. 

 A lot of the fear that we experience as humans can be less tangible, this type of fear is when you feel anxious or uneasy about things that aren't immediately dangerous.

 It's often caused by the stories we tell ourselves and the meanings we attach to situations and previous events. These fears stem from our beliefs, perceptions, and interpretations of the world around us.

 4 Steps To Finding Freedom from Fear:

 1.      Awareness: The first step in conquering your fears is to become aware of them. You can't address something effectively if you don't know it's there. Take time to reflect on your emotions and thoughts. What situations or thoughts trigger your fear? Are there specific patterns or recurring themes? Journalling can be a helpful tool for this process, as it allows you to track your fears over time. Understanding your fears and how they manifest is crucial for moving forward.

 2.      Rationalisation: Once you're aware of your fears, it's essential to assess their validity. Not all fears are rational or based on real threats. Our minds can create scenarios that are far scarier than reality. Challenge your fears by asking questions like, "What is the actual likelihood of this fear coming true?" and "What's the worst-case scenario, and how would I handle it?" Rationalising your fears helps you differentiate between rational concerns and irrational anxieties.

 3.      Visualisation: Whenever you’re afraid of something, step back and imagine yourself successfully completing the task or overcoming the obstacle you’re facing. Picture yourself having already succeeded. Imagine the accolades you’ll receive, the balance in your bank account growing, or the joy you’ll feel when you’ve accomplished it. Really let yourself experience the emotions you’ll feel when you succeed. Visualise your success over and over, and hold the image of it in your mind. This will direct your focus to what you want, rather than what you don’t want—to achievement, rather than fear.

 4.      Action: Overcoming fear often involves taking action, despite feeling afraid. Start small and gradually expose yourself to what you fear. For example, if you're afraid of public speaking, begin by speaking in front of a trusted friend or a small group and then progressively increase the audience size. Breathing exercises and meditation can help manage anxiety in the process. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional can also provide guidance and encouragement as you work to overcome your fears.

 Practicing these techniques can show you that worry, doubt and anxiety are no match for the incredible power that’s inside you.

Conquer Chaos Calmly  

 Key word = Perspective  

Opening   

Did you know that STRESSED spelt backwards = Desserts!! 

   Tip 1.       Speaks to Emotional intelligence and Emotional Fitness  

Ask yourself the question? 

Is this essential or Incidental? 

Essential.     Love. Joy. Peace. Connection. Happiness. Integrity. Contribution.  

  Incidental.  Bills. Flat wheels. Traffic. Weather. Not getting the promotion.  

Tip 2 Peace begins with me.  

Mantra A mantra is a repeated word, phrase, or sound that is used in meditation, prayer, or as a tool for focusing the mind. 

Mudra A mudra is a symbolic or ritualistic hand gesture or posture commonly used in Hinduism, Buddhism, and other spiritual practices. 

Index. Middle ring pinkie  

Closing  100 years 

Fun is not an optional extra in your life. It should be vital.

For today’s topic I want to discuss the inner vs outer world.

The tension between the inner self and outer self is common in today’s society with the likes of social media etc.

Each of us is tugged in multiple directions every day and our actions and behaviors do not always align with our core values as a result.

However, becoming aware of your inner self and how it balances with your outer self is the foundation for good mental, physical, and spiritual health.

This is why it is an important aspect to consider when working on a good balance in your life.

The Outer Self

Occasionally, it proves beneficial to present a different outer self to the world than what we experience on the inside. Most of us evaluate the pros and cons of revealing our true emotions depending on each situation.

Our outer self is the image we present to the world, and we usually strive to shape it positively. However, issues arise when this becomes habitual, overshadowing our genuine feelings.

The outer self is primarily concerned with the material things, like appearance (e.g., hair, clothes, accessories) as well as the groups we belong to, the partner we have or the personas we portray on social media etc. Or maybe we shy away completely, without the necessary social interactions.

This external world can be demanding, often leaving little time for you to consider whether what is taking place on the outside of your life matches what you ultimately desire on the inside. 

The Inner Self 

The inner self is what can't be seen: our feelings, values, beliefs, personality, thoughts, emotions, intuition, fantasies, spirituality, desires, and purpose.

A strong inner self means that you cope well with your emotions, are self-aware, have clarity and a good sense of your values, and feel you have a purpose in life. It also means that you are able to remain calm and resilient in the face of adversity from the outer world.

Conflict Between The Inner and Outer Self

Problems begin when the inner self and outer self are out of balance.

In its simplest terms: you think one thing but do anotherOften, this conflict arises due to spending too little time considering your inner self.

How much of the time are you "running on empty," just struggling to get through the demands of the day, without considering whether your actions and behaviors are in line with your inner self?

The conflict between the two selves can result in stress, which makes you more vulnerable to illness. Your daily functioning may also be affected. You may feel successful on the outside but empty on the inside.

A classic example of conflict between the inner and outer self can be seen in a person who works in a high-stress corporate job, wearing a facade of confidence and ambition in the workplace (outer self) while secretly harboring a desire to pursue a more creative and fulfilling career in the arts (inner self).

This individual may struggle with the tension between societal expectations and their own authentic aspirations, leading to inner turmoil and a constant battle between what they present to the world and what they truly yearn for on the inside.

Another example of conflict between the inner and outer self is a person who outwardly maintains a happy and confident persona in their social life, often seen as the life of the party, but internally battles with depression and loneliness.

This individual may feel pressured to keep up the appearance of cheerfulness, concealing their true emotions and vulnerabilities from friends and family due to fear of stigma or rejection. This conflict between the outer persona of happiness and the inner struggles with mental health can lead to a profound sense of isolation and inner turmoil.

As the current air traffic control situation causes ongoing delays - I am prompted to offer some support when faced with an unexpected challenge that is out of our control, such as this.

There are many decisions that you must make throughout the course of a day. Whether you're deciding what clothes to wear, which activities to do, or which people to see, life consists of constant decision-making at pretty much every moment.

Although you can make choices and plans for life, no one can ever be prepared for the unexpected. When these unexpected situations add up, it’s easy to become overly anxious and feel as if your life is out of control.

In life, there are many things out of our control.

Some things are easier to deal with, like a flat tyre or your child forgetting their lunch. But there are those out-of-control situations in life that loom so large they overwhelm you. These situations may last for months or even years, such as losing a job, the end of a relationship or an ongoing injury.

How do you cope with the stress of these out-of-control situations?

Feeling like you have no control when a situation is affecting your life in such a profound way can be really difficult to cope with.

When these situations build, it can take you to a breaking point and ultimately have a huge impact on your overall health and wellbeing.

But before you get to that point, you have to find a way to let go.

You have to accept that this is happening, or has happened, and that there will be a future beyond this, as long as you're still alive.

It's an easy thing to say, particularly in hindsight.

But logically, if you think about it, this is the only way to move on and give yourself a chance at being happy.

We can't always see the woods for the trees, which is absolutely understandable.

But how much of your mental stability you invest in trying to control a situation you can't control is up to you.

So really, when you think about it, there is something that you can control here.

You can control how much you let this situation control you.

Like I say to my clients -

“The Solution To Every Problem Is The Same,

How Can I Look At This Differently?”

We don't get to control every aspect of life.

Indeed, some could put forth a very good argument that we don't control anything really.

But we can control how much we let something affect us.

The mind is very powerful and it takes a lifetime to learn to tame it. This is part of our personal growth journey.

Are you feeling good, ready for the week ahead?

Or maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed/anxious with a huge to-do list this week. Then you’ve got to apply for that course, so that you can set up that business idea, in order to earn a higher income and have a better life?! Don’t forget you want to travel the world, meet a partner and start a family too !

Sound familiar?

We all want and need to set ourselves goals of course. We as humans have things to do and responsibilities to take care of. A huge part of our being is to grow and evolve - but by embracing present moment awareness and concentrating on one single task at a time, we will enhance our focus, minimise the overwhelm and strengthen the connection between effort and outcome.

We’ve all heard about the power of now. The brilliant spiritual teacher Ram Dass famously said “be here now” 50 years ago. Yet most of us don’t truly understand the gift of presence. We live in a fast-paced, technology-filled world with numerous distractions at our fingertips. Smartphones, iPads and Netflix constantly trigger us to ignore the moments in front of us – this moment right here and right now. The stresses of work-life balance and emotional struggles like depression and anxiety can make us want to retreat into a make-believe world.

It takes strength and focus to be able to feel the gift of presence in your life.

But when you realise that your presence is the greatest gift – not only for your friends and family, but for yourself – you gain the power to shape your life experience. Every time you make the decision to have a clear mind and an open heart, you’re embracing the true meaning of the gift of presence.

The gift of presence meaning is defined by more than physical presence. We can all think of times when we were “there” physically, but our minds were elsewhere. True presence means that you are deeply, mentally invested in the situation at hand. You are experiencing the entire moment: the temperature, the sounds, the smells and the sights. You are deeply engaged with the people around you or with your activity – and that doesn’t include watching TV or playing on your phone.

Your presence is the greatest gift you can give to your loved ones – not flowers or toys. When it comes to your partner, your family and your loved ones, you need to be here now. Love and connection are two of our highest human needs, and the gift of presence is the only thing that can truly fulfill them.

Your presence is the greatest gift, because this very second is the only thing that’s real.

The future is imaginary; it hasn’t happened yet. The past is a memory, and memories are just emotions.

Give yourself the gift of presence, and learn to fully experience life instead of just remembering it or comparing it to someone else online.

Real presence is how you keep the spark alive in a relationship. It’s how you show support to your partner. It’s how you build healthy, lasting relationships with your children. A child might not remember what they got each year for Christmas but they will remember the fun traditions, the laughter or the times they felt so loved.

Life is full of distractions, and this is by no means an easy task but the more present you can become, the more peaceful and fulfilled your life will be.

Yesterday I was having a chat with a family member who had said something in a group that she wished she hadn’t, a silly mistake – and it was eating her up ! You know that feeling ?!

We’ve all felt it: That sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs when we make a mistake. When we let someone down or when we don’t uphold the commitments we’ve made. It’s called guilt – and if you’re overcome by this powerful emotion, you’re overdue for a lesson on how to stop feeling guilty.

A little guilt can actually be good; It regulates our behaviour, keeping us in line with what we feel is acceptable and the person we want to be.

 WHY do we feel guilty?

The reasons people feel guilty (and the amount of guilt they feel) vary widely from person to person.

Generally, we feel guilty when we break the ‘rules’ – either the rules of society or our own personal code of ethics. For one person, that could mean breaking plans with a friend at the last minute. For another, it could mean stealing, cheating or worse.

The amount of guilt we feel is likely based on both “nature” (genetics) and “nurture” (the way we were raised). No matter how much guilt you feel or the reasons why, understanding how to stop feeling guilty begins with a set of actions you can take starting today.

We are all human and we will make mistakes. We’re far from perfect, but most of us don’t need to go through life feeling burdened by guilt.

Here’s how to overcome guilt and start practicing acceptance of yourself and others.

STEP 1. REFLECT AND ACKNOWLEDGE

Begin by acknowledging the feeling of guilt and its source. Reflect on the specific actions or decisions that led to this emotion. Understanding the root cause is crucial in addressing and resolving the guilt.

STEP 2. ASSESS INTENT VS. IMPACT

Evaluate whether your actions were genuinely intentional or if they were a result of circumstances beyond your control. Sometimes, guilt stems from unintended consequences, and recognising this distinction can provide perspective.

STEP 3. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

If your actions indeed led to harm or transgression, taking responsibility is key. Apologise and make amends where possible. By doing so, you demonstrate accountability and a willingness to rectify the situation.

STEP 4. LEARN AND GROW

Transform guilt into a learning opportunity. Consider the lessons you can derive from the experience. This shift in perspective can help you make better decisions in the future and foster personal growth.

STEP 5. PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION

Treat yourself with the same kindness and empathy you would offer to a friend. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and harbouring guilt excessively can be counterproductive. Instead, focus on self-improvement and the positive actions you can take moving forward.

By following these steps, you can work towards releasing the grip of guilt and fostering a healthier emotional state. Remember that progress may take time, so be patient and persistent in your efforts.

“Guilt can either hold you back from growing, or it can show you what you need to shift in your life.”

Have a great week ?