Injury, Recovery, and the Strength of Fire Families

In this episode, Sarah and Amanda share raw, heartfelt stories about injury, resilience, friendship, and embracing the chaos that comes with life as firewives. It’s a testament to sisterhood, authenticity, and the power of showing up for yourself and each other, no matter what season you're in.

Takeaways – 

• Bulletproof tough times by creating your own mental armor 
• Emotional maintenance is as crucial as physical recovery 
• The myth of the 'perfect' fire family and the power of authentic connection 
• Self-care as a strategic act of rebellion 
• The transformative power of community and shared vulnerability 

Transcript

Ventura Fire Foundation (00:01.132)
What water bottle? The one that I won with my fantastic Okay, well we're doing it again. I'm gonna write that down. Remind her Should I comment mustache? Yes. Remind to bring. Were you the one that told me that, was it Craddick that like, what do you call that, engraved it? did he? I think that's what someone said. He probably did. He does have a 3D printer. I think someone said that. To bring, is it a water, it's a water It's my Stanley. It's my first Stanley.

I won with my fantastic mustache. gonna write that down. Remind her to I comment mustache? Yes. Remind to bring... Were you the one that told me that... Was it Kratik that like... What do you call that? Engraved it? Oh, did he? I think that's what someone said. He probably did. He does have a 3D printer. I think someone said that. To bring... Is it a water... It's like a water It's my Stanley... It's my first Stanley.

No, I don't. I've never had. I'm a Stanley girl because apparently they have light in them. Everything is something bad. Every little everything. think it was just so people would stop buying them and buy some other brand. Yeah. Yeah. It was like a rumor ploy thingy to write. Yeah. It was like it's traces. Just traces on the traces are enough, but it's fine. Whatever. I'm stoked about it. I'm you your first Stanley. Yeah. And it's huge. It's like it's not even a straw kind. It's like a thermos. Okay. Well, next time we do this, we'll bring it in. I just got it.

I've never had one I'm not a Stanley girl because apparently they have lead in them. Everything is something bad. Literally everything. I think it was just so people would stop buying them. And buy some other brand? Yes. It was like a rumor ploy thingy to... Right. It was like, it's traces, just traces. Traces are enough. But it's fine. I'm stoked about it and I'm You got your first Stanley. Yeah. And it's huge. It's not even a straw kind. It's like a thermos. Okay, well next time we do this, you'll bring in a Stanley. I just forgot it. really jealous.

really jealous. have my I could bring Derek so that we can both have one winning because Derek got the mug. cute. Is it orange? It's orange. love that orange. So I was like excited. I was like, maybe I'll get a mug. And then there was like another water bottle with like the handle with a thing and I was like, maybe I'm gonna win that but I won the water bottle that it was like the tallest one. I love it. And I was like, as I should. Yes. It goes with your energy. Yeah, you attracted that. It's perfect.

In-person participant 1 (01:02.18)
I could bring Derek so then we can both have one. Twining. Because Derek got the mug. cute! Is it orange? It's the orange. that orange. So I was like excited. was like, maybe I'll get a mug. And then there was like another water bottle with like the handle with the thing and I was like, maybe I'm gonna win that. But I won the water bottle. It was like the tallest one. I love it. And I was like, as I should. Yes. It goes with your energy. You attracted that. It's perfect. No you need to bring it next time. I will. This one is my

No, you need to bring an X-Sign. will. This one is my friend, my next door neighbor just gave it to me. This is MGK. Are we surprised? I love it. I love it. You went to F1, or you went to MGK at F1 this past year. I'm going to Vegas in November this year to F1. MGK is not going to be playing, but I'm going for the F1. Who's performing?

My my next door neighbor just gave it to me. This is MGK.

Are we surprised? I love it. I love it. You went to F1, or you went to MGK at F1 this past year. I'm going to Vegas in November this year to F1. He's not, MGK is not going to be playing, but I'm going for the F1. Who's performing? I have no idea. don't care. We're going. We're the opposite. I was like, who's performing? The cars in the end. And I'm like, the music. The drivers are performing. The drivers are performing.

I have no idea. don't care. We're going. We're the opposite. I was like, who's performing? The cars in the end. And I'm like, the music. The drivers are performing. The drivers are performing. Oh my gosh. That's so funny. I love that. It was such an experience. I want to go back. Oh, I can't imagine. Peloton did classes. I know. And I tried to figure out how to sign up. I could not figure that out. was like, I'm going to try this year. Yes. I'm going to send an email. Yes.

In-person participant 1 (02:08.422)
my gosh, that's so funny. I love that. It was such an experience. I want to go back. I can't imagine like Peloton did classes. I know and I tried to figure out how to sign up. I could not figure that out. was like, I'm gonna try this year. Yes. I'm gonna send an email. Yes. I know I think I even like DM their social media. Maybe I could even have like a milestone ride because I always do I don't always do live rides, but I only do a live ride when it's my milestone. Yeah, I get shout out every time. Yes, Cody, team day.

I know, I think I even like DM'd their social media. Maybe I could even have like a milestone ride, because I always do, I don't always do live rides, but I only do a live ride when it's my milestone. And I get shout out every time. Yes. Cody, Toonday. Cody, I always do a Cody ride when it's, because he always shouts me out. I love that. You're like some, there's like glitzy thing and they're like, shout this chick out. It's a star star on all platforms. Yes. Even on Xbox, that was even my like video game like.

Cody, I always do a Cody ride when it's, cause he always shouts me out. I love that. You're like some, there's like glitzy thing and they're like, shout this chick out. It's a star star on all platforms. Yes. Even on Xbox. That was even my like video game. Like that came from high school. Like I've had my same handle. It's For 20 years. Yeah. It's literally you. It's perfect. It is. Yeah. Cause one day we were all just like, well, how could we spell our names different? Because I

That came from high school. Like I've had my same handle. It's perfect. It's literally you. 20 years. Yeah, it's literally you. It's perfect. It is. Yeah, because one day we were all just like, well, how could we spell our names different? Because I lived in Utah. You've seen those memes. That's like Lachlan, Malachly. And it's like these insane normal names just spelled really long. Yeah. So in 2004, we were all just like, well, how would our names be spelled? And then

in Utah, you've seen those memes that's like, Lachlan, Malachly, and it's like these insane normal names just spelled really long. in 2004, we were all just like, well how would our names be spelled? And then I was like, oh mine would be S-A-R-R-U-H because that's like the longest most fun way. And so it just kind of stuck. It's literally you.

Ventura Fire Foundation (03:23.454)
I was like, mine would be S-A-R-R-U-H because that's like the longest, most fun way. And so it just kind of stuck. It's perfect. It's literally you. I love it. Peloton milestone, F1. yes. Mine is healthy ace for ACE for Amanda Chickman Ellis. I thought it was because you're number one. Yeah, mean, because she's an ace. Yes, that as well. The play on words. For sure.

Peloton milestone, F1. I did, mine is healthy ace for ACE for Amanda Chickman Ellis. Oh, I thought it was cause you're number one. Yeah, I mean, cause she's an ace. Yes, that as well, the play on I for sure, like one day you posted and I was just like, oh, what is it? And I was like, oh, cause she's like an ace, like she's number one. Yeah, no. I didn't even think of that. Yeah, Oh, I love that. Thank you. I love it. That was the secret meaning.

Like one day you posted and I was just like, oh, what is it? And I was like, oh, cause she's like an ace. Like she's number one. Yeah. No, I didn't even think of that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Thank you. Yeah. That was the secret meaning. But the real meaning is she's number one. Yes. What's, what's better than number one, number 11. Cause it's one twice. Mine is 13. My number is 13. And it's always been cause my first screen name was like diva girl 13. Yes.

But the real meaning is she's number one. What's better than number one? Number 11. Oh. it's won twice. Mine is 13. Lucky My number is 13. And it's always been because my first screen name was like Diva Girl 13. Yes. Very Sarah. Very Sarah. I was 12. That's why it was 13. Because you were going to Because I was going to be 13. And everybody needed to know that I was going to be And this was your screen name. This was my AOL screen name. So.

Very Sarah. Very Sarah. I was 12. That's why it was 13. Because you're going to be 13. I'm gonna be 13. And everybody needed to know that I was gonna be And this was your screen name? This was my AOL screen name. So probably like 97. Yeah. Yeah, because I have I'm old. I've had not but I've had we had AOL we had like AOL 1.0. Yeah. Like beginning AOL. everyone knows that dial up man.

In-person participant 1 (04:36.865)
Probably like 97. Yeah. Yeah, cuz I have I'm old I've had not but I've had we had a while we had like a while 1.0 Yeah, like beginning a while and everyone knows that dial-up man. I love six noise I was just like on the web

That classic noise. was just like, on the web. That was a different time. Let me code. Yes. Now I'm like, website, how do I do that? But I could do full HTML to change my AOL bio to say something inappropriate and stupid that I didn't even know really what it meant. The ways you needed to be resourceful to make that. Yeah. It's totally transferred to motherhood, Yes. 100%. Seriously, I love that.

That was a different time. It me code. Yes. Like now I'm like, website, how do I do that? But I could do full HTML to change my AOL bio to say something inappropriate and stupid that I didn't even know really what it meant. When you're like the ways you needed to be resourceful to make that. Right. Yeah. It's totally transferred to motherhood, right? Yes. 100%. Seriously, I love that. my gosh. All right, let's dive in.

All right, let's dive in. I'll do a new intro. I don't know, Jo will like splice this somehow, but. It's us. It's us. Thanks for hanging out with Fire Family Collective. I am Amanda and we are here with my bestie, my just dear friend, Sarah. Thank you for being here. Thanks for having me. We're having so much fun. We're hanging out in my garage. This is my first time doing this. I love it. I think it's a cool vibe and.

I'll do a new intro. I don't know, Jo will like splice this somehow, but it's us. It's us. Thanks for hanging out with Fire Family Collective. I am Amanda and we are here with my bestie, my just dear friend, Sarah. Thank you for being here. Yeah, thanks for having me. We're having so much fun. We're hanging out in my garage. This is my first time doing this. I it. I love it. I think it's a cool vibe and...

Ventura Fire Foundation (05:51.458)
It's just fun to hang out with your friends. And my coffee is gone now. So I'm alive. It has hit. It is pistachio season, which a lot of people love. Pumpkin season. That is not my season. Pistachio season is my season. Pistachio cream cold brew. I don't care about the calories. Sometimes you need a little treat. Yeah. And you need this. They don't count. good. Yeah, they don't count. We're burning them all talking. Right. I'm laughing. Yes.

It's fun to hang out with your friend. My coffee is gone now. So I'm alive. It has hit. It is pistachio season, which a lot of people love. Pumpkin season. That is not my season. Pistachio season is my season. Pistachio cream cold brew. I don't care about the calories.

Sometimes you need a little treat. Yeah, and you need this. They don't count. So good. Yeah, they don't count. We're burning them all talking. Right. I'm laughing. Yes. Our abs are getting the laughing calories burned. It's perfect. And like you said, it's like something about the pistachio. Like you cannot recreate that. You can't buy that syrup. It's I bought it last night. OK, so you're going to try. I'm going to try to report back. I will let you know. Yeah. So I hit home goods because we just got bunk beds for the girls. So we needed full size sheets.

Our abs are getting the laughing calories burned. It's perfect. And like you said, it's like something about the pistachio. Like you cannot recreate that. You can't buy that syrup. It's not the same. it last night. OK, so you're going to try. I'm going to try to report back. I will let you know. Yes. So I hit home goods because we just got bunk beds for the girls. So we needed full size sheets. Yes. Because we got full over full bunk beds in case we want to swap them because you can make them just beds. Oh, cool. Yeah.

We got full over full bunk beds in case we want to swap them because you can make them just beds. cool. Yeah and so I was buying them sheets last night and I ended up in like the food section and I never go into the food section because like it's home goods. Right gross. But they have like the nice bottle the glass bottles of the tirani syrup and I was like well I gotta buy it. Yeah. They had pistachio on clearance and I was like but it doesn't expire till 28. This is my season. I was like okay this must be for me.

Ventura Fire Foundation (06:46.402)
And so I was buying them sheets last night and I ended up in like the food section and I never go into the food section because like it's home goods. Right. Gross. But they have like the nice spot, the glass bottles of the Toronto syrup. And I was like, well, I got to buy it. Yeah. And they had pistachio on clearance. And I was like, but it doesn't expire till 28. And I was like, this is my season. I was like, okay, this must be for me. Yes. So I took it and I'm going to figure it.

Yes, so I took it and I'm gonna figure it out. Okay report back. Stay tuned Sarah I'll bring my own and we'll know if the she'll give us the recipe if it goes when it goes well Yeah, cuz it's gonna go well. I did work at Starbucks. see. Yeah, but it was pre it was pre-cold show pre-pistachio, but also pre cold brew cold foam. yeah Yeah, I tried buying that for John like the Trader Joe's version. It's not It's a little lackluster

Okay, report back. Stay tuned. Sarah will bring my own and we'll know if she'll give us the recipe if it goes when it goes well. Yeah, because it's gonna go well. I did work at Starbucks. see? Yeah, it was pre it was pre. Yeah. Pre pistachio but also pre cold brew cold foam. yeah. Yeah. I tried buying that for john like the Trader Joe's version. It's not. It's a little lackluster.

Most things at Trader Joe's are like hit for us. It's still like flavored the coffee, but it's not the same. not good. Yeah. Okay. Sprouts. Do they have one? Sprouts has a cherry creamer. Is it Sprouts brand? Yes. Oh, interesting. I don't know if it's a foam, but like you could just blend it up. I turned it into ice cream last year. It was so good. Like it's so potent. See, and that's something different. Like it's not a traditional

Most things at Trader Joe's are like a hit for us. It's still like flavored the coffee, but it's not the same. not good. Yeah. Okay. Sprouts. Do they have one? Sprouts has a cherry creamer. Is it Sprouts brand? Yes. interesting. I, it's, I don't know if it's a foam, but like you could just blend it up. I turned it into ice cream last year. It was so good. Like

Ventura Fire Foundation (08:05.966)
It's so potent. See, and that's something different. Like it's not a traditional everyday flavor. No, it probably feels even more of a treat. Yes. And like you barely need any because it's so flavorful and it's super sweet. So it's just like a drop. I'm going to look. But I made it into ice cream last year. So it only comes out once a year.

everyday flavor. No. So probably feels even more of a treat. Yes, and like you barely need any because it's so flavorful and it's super sweet. So it's just like a drop. But I made it into ice cream last year so it only comes out once a year and then nobody bought them and so they're all on sale for like 99 cents. Yes, give them all to I didn't do it. I bought like one and then I was just like this is so good and then eventually I was like this is too much. Yeah, too This is disgusting. But it for that little bit it hit. I love that. We need those things. We do. Bring us little joy things.

And then nobody bought them. so they were all on sale for like 99 cents. Yes. Give them all to me. I didn't do it. I bought like one. And then I was just like, this is so good. And then eventually I was like, this is too much. Yeah. Too This is disgusting. But for that little bit, it hit. love that. We need those things to bring us little joy throughout our day as Firewives. Because sometimes it can be rough. It can be rough. But most of the time, it's like, yeah, we could do it. Yeah. It's interesting how hard it can be.

throughout our day as firewives. Yeah. Because sometimes it can be rough. It can be rough. But most of time it's like, yeah, we could do it. Yeah. It's interesting how hard it can be and how something as simple as like, we're getting in the car and going to Starbucks. Yes. Can help pick you up. everything. Yes. We just need a little mood boost. I'm sure there's like some psychology about the, yeah, the dopamine. Dopamine, thank The little treat. What is that called?

and how something as simple as like... We're getting in the car and going to Starbucks. Yes, can help pick you everything. Yes. We just need a little mood boost. I'm sure there's like some psychology about the... Yeah, the dopamine. Dopamine, thank The little tree. is that called? We gotta get our little fix, our dopamine hit. Yes. Yeah. That's why we scroll. That's why we do all of the things apparently that we do. This is something that I was curious and...

In-person participant 1 (09:09.891)
Gotta get our little fix. Our dopamine hit. Yes. Yeah. That's why we scroll. That's why we do all of the things apparently that we do. I, this is something that I was curious and I know like we have different coping mechanisms for different things regardless of what, you know, if you're a fire family or not, do you feel like you in this season because we've had different seasons together. So to back story a little bit, Sarah and I

I know like we have different coping mechanisms for different things, regardless of what, know, if you're a fire family or not, do you feel like you in this season? Because we've had different seasons together. So to back story a little bit, Sarah and I, our husbands, both lateraled from Northern California departments to Southern California departments. And our kids are like similar ages, literally weeks apart. And

our husbands both lateraled from Northern California departments to Southern California departments and our kids are like similar ages literally weeks apart and they both have had injuries at work and just very similar they both went through the serious guys very yeah very like similar in terms of like discipline and wanting to grow and be like the best versions of themselves and

They both have had injuries at work and they're just very similar. both went through the- serious guys. Yeah, very similar in terms of discipline and wanting to grow and be the best versions of themselves. And they went through the process to promote for engineer together. Let's maybe talk about that for a moment. OK. Because now I'm thinking about this little dopamine hit. That was a rough time.

They went through the process to promote for engineer together. Let's like kind of maybe talk about that for a moment. Okay.

In-person participant 1 (10:17.268)
because now I'm thinking about this little dopamine hit. Like that was a rough time. And I know that I didn't thrive during that season of preparation. But you did. I did not. But like, okay, but on the outside, she looked like she was killing her meal planning. She was killing her workouts from the internet point of view. no. Okay, what year was this? Would this have been This was just last year, year before.

And I know that I didn't thrive during that season of preparation. But you did. I did not. But like, OK, but on the outside, she looked like she was killing her meal planning. She was killing her workouts from the Internet. No, no. OK, what year was this? Would this have been this year? Twenty. They they officially promoted in 2020 for.

promoted in 2024, in August of 2024.

In August of 2024, does that sound right? And then August of 2025 would have been a year and Derek promoted soon after that to captain. Yeah. So 2024 August, um, I see what you're saying. I see timeline. Okay. So it was really freaking hard. It was like the hardest time of our relationship for sure. Any promotion. It will test your relation. That's what I tell all my friends like.

Does that sound right? And then August of 2025 would have been a year and Derek promoted soon after that to captain. Yeah. So 2024 August, I see what you're saying. I see timeline. Okay. So it was really freaking hard. It was like the hardest time of our relationship for sure. Any promotion. It will test your relation. That's what I tell all my friends. Like if you guys are not, this is like at

Ventura Fire Foundation (11:20.36)
If you guys are not, this is like at the Devil Wears Prada. you're not, like if you don't have any friends by the end of this, you're not getting your promotion. If you are not on the cusp of divorce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I mean, it's terrible, but that's like a perfect way. Yeah. To, I don't know. Not really divorce, but like, maybe you gotta go to therapy. Maybe you guys gotta work through some stuff. Yeah. But it brings out everything. Everything. Because your husband is so, like,

Devil worse product if you're if you're not if you don't have any friends by the end of this You're not getting your promotion if you are not on the cusp of divorce. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's I mean, it's terrible But that's like a perfect way Yeah, tip. I don't know not really divorce below but like maybe you got to go to therapy Maybe you guys got to work through some stuff. Yeah, but it brings out everything everything because your husband is so Like I don't know about John but Derek has like a specific process

I don't know about John, but Derek has like a specific process that I'm used to now. Yeah, that I know, okay, he's going to be doing these things. He's going to be feeling like this. He's going to be behaving like this. Where, how am I going to respond? Yeah. How am I going to act in this? Am I just going to carry on and stay flat? And am I going to be supportive? Am I going to hold it together? Yeah.

that I'm used to now. Yeah. That I know, okay, he's going to be doing these things. He's going to be feeling like this. He's going to be behaving like this. Where, how am I going to respond? Yeah. How am I going to act in this? Am I just going to carry on and stay flat? And am I going to be supportive? Am I going to hold it together? Yeah.

Maybe. It's so crazy, like all the parallels we have with our journeys. So 2024 August, yeah, I, a few months before that had decided that I needed to just fucking take care of myself for like, just be real with what it is. I was really struggling. We were having such a hard time in our relationship. Our kids were like three and five or something like that.

In-person participant 1 (12:16.766)
Maybe. It's so crazy, like all the parallels we have with our journeys. So, August, yeah, I, a few months before that, had decided that I needed to just fucking take care of myself, like just be real with what it is. I was really struggling. We were having such a hard time in our relationship. Our kids were like three and five or something like that. And I just felt so lost in my identity.

And I just felt so lost in my identity and myself. And on top of that, our relationship was struggling. So it just like for me, all these things coming together was like, what can I do and have control over something? Because I wasn't coping well. And it was rough. And I had multiple times where I would text and call one of the other veteran FireWive mentors for

and myself and on top of that our relationship is struggling. So it just like for me all these things coming together was like what can I do and have control over something because I wasn't coping well and.

It was rough and I had multiple times where I would text and call one of the other veteran FireWive mentors for me and just be like, this is it. Like I'm not going to make it and I need you.

me and just be like, this is it. Like I'm not going to make it and I need you. And so yeah, I guess from the outside looking in what you saw on my like social media highlight reel was that hard work that I was doing because I was so in the pits and I just needed something to focus on and fast forward. Like I'm there again, like I'm ready to walk back in and meet new goals, but

In-person participant 1 (13:22.514)
And so yeah, I guess from the outside looking in what you saw on my like social media highlight reel was that hard work that I was doing because I was so in the pits and I just needed something to focus on and fast forward like I'm there again, like I'm ready to walk back in and meet new goals. But I don't think that people realize that.

I don't think that people realize that like even having a newborn kid as a first time mom or going through the fire academy or paramedic school, different things, honestly, none of that compared for me, for us to the promotion process for engineer. I don't know why it was for us. was so hard. Right. I joke with you, the adapt or die. Yeah. You either adapt or die.

Like even having a newborn kid as a first time mom or going through the fire academy or paramedic school, different things. honestly, none of that compared for me, for us to the promotion process for engineer. I don't know why it was for us. was hard. It was so hard. Right.

I joke with you about adapt or die. Yeah, you either adapt or die. But now and it doesn't mean physically die, but like your relationship could die emotionally, mentally, physically die. Like it's so layered, but...

But now, it doesn't mean physically die, but like your relationship could die emotionally, mentally, physically die. Like it's so layered. But Derek and I were talking about like the process. Why was it so hard? And he's not necessarily like a mechanical guy. Like he is, but he's not. And so for him, he felt like he really had to like focus more, cause it's not just like book stuff.

In-person participant 1 (14:23.251)
Derek and I were talking about the process. Why was it so hard? And he's not necessarily a mechanical guy. He is, but he's not. And so for him, he felt like he really had to focus more, because it's not just book stuff, and it's not just practical stuff. It's like, there's math involved. there's a formula to all of this. if you don't do the right hose, the right coupling, it could explode or something. You're not going to get the water flow, and the house is going to burn down.

and it's not just like practical stuff. It's like, there's math involved. there's a formula to all of this. there's like, if you don't do the right hose, the right coupling, like it could explode or something, you know, like, you're not going to get the water flow and the house is going to burn down. Yeah. So it's just very different than the firefighter position. It's very different, like, because the firefighter medic position is, know what you're going to do, you're going to show up, you're going to run the medical call, you're going to kind of be the bitch and

So it's just very different than the firefighter position. It's very different, like, because the firefighter medic position is you know what you're gonna do, you're gonna show up, you're gonna run the medical call, you're gonna kind of be the bitch and grab all the stuff and, you know, do this. And then the engineer is the guy who's pumping the water.

grab all the stuff and do this. And then the engineer is the guy who's pumping the water. That's it. And before Derek was an engineer, would be like, he would never say they were lazy, but they're just kind of hanging out. They're just resting on the couch or in the chairs. And then when he got to the position, he was just like, I get it. Yeah. I get it. What about? So for John,

That's it. And like before Derek was an engineer, he would be like, you know, like he wouldn't, he would never say they were lazy, but like they're just kind of hanging out. They're just resting on the couch or in the chairs. And then when he got to the position, he was just like, I get it. Yeah. I get it. What about?

In-person participant 1 (15:31.648)
So for John, I think a similar mindset of like, don't, for him it was like, it wasn't necessarily a step forward. And to like, when he was just a firefighter paramedic, in his mind, like to promote to engineer wasn't a step forward. I would say now that he's in the position, he feels differently, but without having been in the position, he did not feel like it was growth or like leveling up. Yeah. Derek didn't even want to be engineer. Yeah. That was the whole thing too.

I think a similar mindset of like, don't for him, it was like, it wasn't necessarily a step forward. And it's like when he was just a firefighter paramedic, and his mind like to promote to engineer wasn't a step forward. I would say now that he's in the position, he feels differently. But without having been in the position, he did not feel like it was growth or like leveling up. Yeah, there didn't even want to be engineer. Yeah. That was the whole thing too.

But now that John's had the position for over a year, he sees it more as like the senior firefighter role. He has that responsibility to train the firefighter and have a little bit more responsibility and leadership. And like you said, it's a whole new like skillset that they didn't have as firefighter paramedics. And it's that in between, between the captain and the firefighter. So there's also that dynamic of.

But now that John's had the position for over a year, he sees it more as like the senior firefighter role. He has that responsibility to train the firefighter and have a little bit more responsibility and leadership. And like you said, it's a whole new like skill set that they didn't have as firefighter paramedics. And it's that in between, between the captain and the firefighter. So there's also that dynamic of working more directly with your captain and being the middleman to

working more directly with your captain and being the middleman to the firefighter. So it's more, I think, nuanced than he gave it credit for. Like you would say Derek did too. Like it's more involved than they thought. Because there's like a mentorship role involved, even if you're already like, is Johnson the mentor program? No, he's not. But he's teaching, he was teaching one of the academies. was, was he teaching in engineer academy? Engineer. Yeah. So like there's, our department is smaller. So like,

In-person participant 1 (16:32.653)
firefighter so it's more I think nuanced than he gave it credit for like you would say Derek did too like it's more involved than they thought. There's like a mentorship role involved even if you're already like is Johnson the mentor program? No he's not. but he's teaching he was teaching one of the academies was he teaching engineer academy? Engineering. Yeah so like

There's, our department is smaller, so like, our guys are lucky to where they can take on these roles where their skillset is actually like needed and like where they can like make a difference. So I think that the engineer position, it was just like.

our guys are lucky to where they can take on these roles where their skill set is actually like needed and like where they can like make a difference. So I think that the engineer position, it was just like, not shocking, but like, it kind of was. No, it was. I would for sure say that. then one of my best favorite memories of all time is when they passed and we had this impromptu hangout and it was like just,

Not shocking, but like it kind of was. No, I would for sure say that and then I One of my best favorite memories of all time is when they passed and we have this impromptu hangout and It was like just we all needed that it was so effing hard leading up to that like we I think we were in therapy during that time for couples. I was in my own therapy It was really freaking hard and just to have that like

We all needed that. It was so effing hard leading up to that. we, think we were in therapy during that time for couples. I was in my own therapy. It was really freaking hard. And just to have that like impromptu celebration and just like breathe. It was so nice. was so nice. The dads were all in the tree house. They all are not, they weren't all dads, like some, they are now.

In-person participant 1 (17:41.714)
impromptu celebration and just like breathe. Oh, it was so nice. It was so nice. The dads were all in the treehouse. They all are not, they weren't all dads, but like some, well they are now. Yeah. Jeremy had a kid. Yeah. Like it was John, Derek, Jeremy. Jeff. Jeff. Yeah. Was it just the four of them or was it one more? Maybe one more. Yeah. But yeah, like.

Yeah, Jeremy had a kid. Yeah, was john, Derek, Jeremy, Jeff, Jeff. Yeah, was it just the four of them? was it one? Yeah, but yeah, like, and they like did it. And it was hard. was so hard. So during that time, if you're No, this is great. If you're in that season, you find yourself I would say and again, like get a bestie and have those real conversations of like, we're struggling.

And they like did it. And it was hard. It was so hard. So during that time, if you're no, this is great. If you're in that season, you find yourself, I would say, and again, like get a bestie and have those real conversations of like, we're struggling. How are you doing and checking on each other? And if you don't have that within your own department, you know, that's where hopefully Fire Family Collective comes in play where you can reach out to someone who's in this similar path as you in a

how are you doing and checking on each other. And if you don't have that within your own department, you know, that's where hopefully Fire Family Collective comes in play where you can reach out to someone who's in the similar path as you in a different department and to not feel so alone and isolated and start the chat. Yes. Yeah. And just the chat. Cause I'll respond. Yeah. Be real. And actually that's one of my favorite memories now too. Jackie DMed me to like start hanging out.

department and to not feel so alone and isolated and start the chat yeah yeah and check cuz I'll respond yeah be real and actually that's one of my favorite memories now too

In-person participant 1 (18:48.383)
Jackie DMed me to like start hanging out. Like, hey, I'm a new fire wife. You know, just wanted to try to connect. I got someone slid into my DMs and now we're great friends. I am like so happy. So do that. Be the person that sends the message and says like, hey, I blah, blah, blah. Like I'm a new mom in the area. I'm a new girlfriend in the area. I want to make connection. We live in different states, but it seems like you're,

Like, hey, I'm a new fire wife. You know, just wanted to try to connect. I got someone slid into my DMs and now we're great friends. I am like so happy. So do that. Be the person that sends the message and says like, hey, I blah, blah, blah. Like I'm a new mom in the area. I'm a new girlfriend in the area. I want to make connection. We live in different states, but it seems like you like books and I like reading. Sarah and I love reading.

like books and I like reading. Sarah and I love reading and listening to audiobooks. What are you listening to right now? Can we share? I just finished. It was trash. But you still went, you went the distance. You had to finish. I think I bought it. If it gets, okay. So I have Spotify, Amazon Music, and I have, I won six months of Amazon Music for free over like Christmas. was like, can enter this. I was like, I enter everything. You everything. I love winning. You win it. Yeah, you win.

and listening to audio books. What are you listening to right now? Can we share? I just finished. It was trash. But you still went, you like, you went the distance. You had to finish. I needed to know what think I bought it. Yeah. If it gets, okay. So I have Spotify, Amazon Music, and I have, I won six months of Amazon Music for free over like Christmas. was like, you can enter this. I was like, I enter everything. You everything. I love winning. win it. Yeah, you win. You are the winner. I thank God for all.

are the winner. I thank God for all of my winnings. But what am I showing you? The book. the book I just read? Yeah. I just listened to.

Ventura Fire Foundation (19:50.018)
But what am I showing you? The book. the book I just read. I just listened to.

I know. It was like not great. It was like the Darkmore Penitentiary series. it like the first book or like? It's the second one. Okay. Because I already listened to the first one. the first one enough? No, I didn't. Like, I didn't like it at all. And but I needed to, I'm one of those people like, you kind of have to know what happens. Yeah, I will pay the money for these. So you want me, you want to give me the first one. But let's see. Ooh, a fourth book that I didn't know.

It was like Nagri. It was like the Darkmore Penitentiary series. Was it like the first book? Or like the second one? Okay. Because I already listened to the first one. the first one enough? No, I didn't. Like I didn't like it at all. And but I needed to... I'm one of those people like you have to know what happens. Yeah. I will pay the money for... so you want me. You want to give me the first one. But let's see. a fourth book that I didn't know.

But it wasn't good because I listen to my audiobooks on like 1.7 or two because they talk so talk so slow. know. Like, and shut up. And I don't want to hear your inflection. I don't want to hear any of that. Just give me the story. Just read it to me. And and then when they do like accents, if they don't hold the accent the whole time. that's yeah. And I hate like she, okay, she's Italian, apparently. Okay. And

But it wasn't good because...

In-person participant 1 (20:31.978)
Listen to my audiobooks on like 1.7 or 2 because yeah, they talk so know like and shut up Like and I don't want to hear your inflection. I don't want to hear any of this. Give me the story just read it to me and Though and then when they do like accents if they don't hold the accent the whole time. That's yeah, or and I hate like She okay. She's Italian apparently. Okay, and they're shifters. I love a shifter book Okay, I read real things

They're shifters. I love a shifter book. Okay. I read real things too. Not just fantasy. Not just fantasy. I'm just getting into fantasy. It was called Alpha Wolf. was trash. Alpha Wolf. The first one was called Wild Wolf. The second one's called Alpha Wolf. And I don't know why maybe she is the Alpha Wolf. But yeah, it's not great. But she kept calling people stronzo. And I think it means stupid or like fucker or something in Italian. But the way that they say it and how like

too. Not just fantasy. Not just fantasy. I'm just getting into fantasy. It was called Alpha Wolf. was trashed. Alpha Wolf. The first one was called Wild Wolf. The second one's called Alpha Wolf. And I don't know why maybe she's the Alpha Wolf.

But yeah, it's not great, but she kept calling people stranzo. And I think it means stupid or like fucker or something in Italian. But the way that they say it and how like, I'm just like, I can't even listen to it. I'm not gonna listen to the rest of them. There's five of them. I'm not gonna listen to three of them. Don't give them more money. No. You took enough of Sarah's money, okay? But she tried. Keep Me by Sarah Kate is phenomenal. I love the author. I think you might have been the one who recommended her to me. Probably. That's my favorite one because he has like a Scottish accent.

I'm just like I can't even listen to the accident. I'm not gonna listen to the rest of them. There's five of them I'm not gonna listen to three of them. Don't give them more money. No, you took enough of Sarah's money Okay, but she tried keep me by Sarah Kate is phenomenal. I love the author I think you might have been the one who recommended her to me probably I that's my favorite one cuz yeah, has like a Scottish accent. Yes, and I'm like, this is like I Love that they're apparent. The Scots are apparently coming to LA for the Highland Games. I won't be going

In-person participant 1 (21:46.865)
And I'm like, this is like... love that. The Scots are apparently coming to LA for the Highland Games. I won't be going. You know what? What's that movie? Is it Gerard Beller? Is that his name? And he has an accent and he dies? What is that movie called? And he leaves his wife all those treasures after he dies? Yes. With what's-her-face. Yeah. With the teeth. Yeah.

You know what, there's, what's that movie? Is it Gerard Butler? Is that his name? And he has an accent and he dies. What is that movie called? And he leaves his wife all those treasures when he, after he dies. Yes. With what's her face? Yeah. With the teeth. Yeah. Yes. I love that movie. I think that's why I have that accent because that movie. Derek and I were talking one day about- PSI Love yes. PSI Love So good. Hillary Swank. Hillary Swank. I'm like the woman with the teeth.

Yes, I love that movie. I think that's why I have that accent. that movie. Derek and I were talking one day about it. PSA Love You. Oh yes, PSA Love good. Hillary Swank. Hillary Swank. I'm like the woman with the teeth. Million Dollar Baby.

Um, million dollar baby. Derek and I were talking one day about like what accent like turns you on. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know. I don't really care. And he said something about like liking like a Scottish accent. So I was telling my sister about it one day and I was like, oh, it would be so funny if I was like, oh, babe. And I got like a wig. Yeah. It's me, Sasha. Yes. And my sister and I, we like.

Derek and I were talking one day about like what accent like turns you on. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know. I don't really care. Yeah. he said something about like liking like a Scottish accent. I was telling my sister about it one day and I was like, oh, it would be so funny if I was like, oh, babe. And I got like a wig. Yes. And came out and I was like, it's me, Saoirse. Yes. And my sister and I would like die laughing every You could pull it off. But like you totally would do it as a joke and I would just like laugh. Like I clog into the room. Yeah. And I'm like, it's me.

Ventura Fire Foundation (22:53.878)
die laughing every time. You could pull it off. But like you totally do it as a joke and I would just like laugh like I clog into the room. And I'm like, it's me. Yeah. Like, you could so do it. Yeah, because that is your vibe. That is so you I would do it and then burst out and laugh. I know I would laugh too. It would just be so funny. would be so funny. Derek would be so into that. For sure. I'm going to if I ever do it, I will film it. Yes. Just that.

Like, could so do it. Yeah, because that is your vibe. That is so you. I would do it and then burst out and laugh. I know, I would laugh too. It would just be so funny. would be so funny. Derek would be so into that. For sure. I'm going to, if I ever do it, I will film it. Yes. Just that portion. Yeah, and then camera off. Then it's behind the scenes. Right. Yeah. I love that so much. my gosh. That is amazing. Do you guys like laugh about anything like that?

Portion yeah, there's that camera off Then it's behind the scenes right yeah, I love that so much. my gosh. That is you Do you guys like laugh about anything like that? Yeah, my husband is a little more like white picket fence in life And I am definitely outside of the box which is so funny because he's like he was like a punk rock guy He so Cal punk rock he was into like

yeah, so my husband is a little more like white picket fence in life and I am definitely outside of the box. Which is so funny because he's like, he was like a punk rock guy. He was into like, he was in a band in high school, like he played the drums. He grew up like classically trained in drums and like amazing drummer.

He was in a band in high school. Like he played the drums. grew up like classically trained in drums and like amazing drummer. But that's that's that wasn't like his persona. That wasn't his identity. So even though it was like something he was into, I don't think he would ever say that he like that he took that on. But yeah, like Blink 182, Sublime, Slightly Sleepy, all of those bands. Yeah, so so cow.

In-person participant 1 (23:58.953)
but that wasn't like his persona, that wasn't his identity. So even though it was like something he was into, I don't think he would ever say that he took that on. But yeah, like Blink-182, Sublime, Slightly Sleepy, all of those So So Cal. Yeah, so So Cal. He's not like, John's not a bro. Definitely He's not a bro, but he's like that classic like...

He's not like John's not a bro. Definitely not a bro, but he's like that classic, like the shorts, like the beach so Cal guy. Yeah, but like clean cut on the inside. Yeah, where he still looks clean cut on the outside. Yeah, but like, he's like a classic so Cal guy. I think he's like very in my mind, secretly multifaceted and people don't know all those layers to him because he just doesn't.

the shorts, like the beach SoCal guy, but like clean cut on the inside, where he still looks clean cut on the outside, but like he's like a classic SoCal guy. I think he's like very, in my mind, secretly multifaceted and people don't know all those layers to him, cause he just doesn't, he's not like as outspoken and vibrant about things as like me. And I'm like, I can wear, yeah, like punk rock one day and like leather the next day and then like workout clothes,

He's not like as outspoken and vibrant about things as like me. And I'm like, I can wear, yeah, like punk rock one day and like leather the next day and then like workout clothes the next day. Like I'm all over the place and he is just like, I have the same four pairs of pants. I have three shirts that I rotate and he is very like. I wonder if that's like how all fire guys are. I don't know. It's kind of annoying. I like try to like hide shirts and like mix them up to like, please encourage you to like wear something different.

the day, like I'm all over the place and he is just like, I have the same four pairs of pants. I have three shirts that I rotate and he is very like. That has to be like, I wonder if that's like how all fire guys are. I don't know. It's kind of annoying. I like try to like hide shirts and like mix them up to like, please encourage you to like wear something different. Like, no, whatever. Yeah. I just buy things and I just put them in the closet. Yeah. Look what I got for you, babe. And I make him do a fashion show. Please wear this. That was my hint. I bought it for you.

Ventura Fire Foundation (25:15.691)
Whatever. Yeah. I just buy things and I just put them in the closet. Yeah. Look what I got for you, baby. And I make him do a fashion Please wear this. That was my hint. I bought it for you. Please wear it. No, I can barely get him to try on clothes. He's like, do I have to? Can you just take it back? Like, please try it on. Like, I like this. That's why I bought it for you. That's where Hudson gets it. Yeah. He's like, dad can do it. I'm doing it 100%. They are so much alike. It's crazy. I'm like, my gosh, my future.

No, I can barely get him to try on clothes. He's like, do I have to? Can you just take it back? Like, please try it on. Like, I like this. That's why I bought it for you. That's where Hudson gets it. Yeah. He's like, dad can do it. I'm doing it Oh, 100%. They're so much alike. It's crazy. I'm like, oh my gosh, my future. And your future partner, like... She better get it. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's a whole other thing. Oh my gosh. No. Okay, Gemma.

and your future partner like. She better get it. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's a whole other thing. Oh my gosh. No. Okay. Gemma. So my oldest, she's six. And so she randomly, my kids are like, I'm never getting married. And I'm like, what, do you mean you're never getting married? And then Gemma came home from school one day and she was like, oh, mom, I know who I'm going to marry. I was like, who are you going to marry? And she's like, Elijah.

So my oldest, she's six. so she randomly, my kids would be like, I'm never getting married. And I'm like, what do you mean you're never getting married? And then Gemma came home from school one day and she was like, oh, mom, I know who I'm going to marry. And I was like, who are you going to marry? she's like, Elijah. Oh, his dad is in the process for Pasadena right now. And so he's a fire family too. And so I like laugh because he used to work at Fillmore and I'm like, oh, OK. Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, he's so kind and he's such a nice boy.

his dad is in the process for Pasadena right now. so he's a fire family too. And so I've like laugh because he used to work at Fillmore and I'm like, okay. Yeah. And so she's like, yeah, he's so kind. And he's such a nice boy. was like, I love to hear that. Because she's in school now in kindergarten. And it is not all the boys are nice. And we're, we're very much like, everybody can play your kids are like this to come join us. Yes. I want to our kids want to play. Yeah.

In-person participant 1 (26:22.907)
I was like, I love to hear that because she's in school now in kindergarten and it is not all the boys are nice and we're we're very much like Everybody can play your kids are like this to come join us. Yes. want to our kids want to play Yeah, and everybody is welcome to play with us. Yes, but not all kids are like, yeah So but so for her to be like I love Elijah I'm gonna marry him and I told his dad his dad's like no I was like so she doesn't know what that means. Yeah, like she just thinks like your son is kind

and everybody is welcome to play with us. But not all kids are like that. So for her to be like, I love Elijah, I'm gonna marry him. And I told his dad, his dad's like, no. I was like, she doesn't know what that means. She just thinks like, your son is kind. And that's- It's a very sweet compliment. And for her to recognize that so young, it says a lot. That's so cute. Our kids are, and those moms, I'm like, you're so smart. Right. Like I raised you.

Yes, and that's it's a very sweet compliment and for her to recognize that so young it's like it says a lot That's so cute. Our kids are I like and those moments. I'm like, you're so smart right like I raised you I Did I did I did I did did a good job. Yeah Yeah, did a good job with your kids in any homeschool them

Great, you did. I did, I did. I did, I did a good job. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, my little like virtual. Yeah, little pad on the back. Yeah, you did a good job with your kids and you homeschool them. Yeah. And they're smart. We're just beginning. So like, don't give me too much credit. Ask me again in a few years, but we'll see. in this season, you're doing a phenomenal job and it's hard. I You could. I could. 100%. Okay.

And they're smart. We're just beginning. So don't give me too much credit. Ask me again in a few years, but we'll see. But in this season, you're doing a phenomenal job. And it's hard. You could. I could. 100%.

In-person participant 1 (27:35.61)
I didn't go to school to be a teacher. I went to fashion school. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. literally don't know. Don't even. It has nothing to do with that. I'm probably like the worst student when it comes to that. Like I'm constantly getting text messages from their homeschool teachers. So it's... Your kids are living though. Yeah. Like you take them to do fun things. You take them out to the park. You take them to the beach like almost daily. Thank you. I don't take my kids out daily. Like we do our things, but then when we're home I'm like...

I didn't go to school to be a teacher. went to fashion school. but that doesn't matter. I literally don't know. Don't even it has nothing to do that. I'm probably like the worst student when it comes to that. Like I'm constantly getting text messages from their homeschool teachers. So it's your kids are living though. Yeah, like you take them to do fun things. You take them out to the park. You take them to the beach like almost daily.

Thank you. I don't take my kids out daily. Like we do our things, but then when we're home, I'm like, you constantly are doing activities. Like this is one thing I told you, like I want to get them in like ice skating or something. And some of the other fire families out here, like their kids do hockey, which is so rad. Like I feel like one of the things that we're good at is like exposing our kids to all those different things and letting them figure out what is of interest to them. And that takes effort and energy and we only have a certain capacity.

You constantly are doing activities. This is one thing I told you, I want to get them in ice skating or something. And some of the other fire families out here, their kids do hockey, which is so rad. I feel like one of the things that we're good at is exposing our kids to all those different things and letting them figure out what is of interest to them. And that takes effort and energy and we only have a certain capacity. There's one of us, and this sounds bad, but a part-time other partner.

Like there's one of us and this sounds bad, but like a part-time other partner and it's hard. you know. Like literally hats off to single moms. Yeah. Like we joke like, I'm essentially a single mom and Derek gets so upset. Why would you say that? I'm like, well, obviously I'm not. Like, but if I'm doing all the planning, like Derek just got off of five days and then he worked a partial the day before that.

In-person participant 1 (28:35.423)
And it's hard. you know, like literally hats off to single moms. Yeah, like we joke like I'm essentially a single mom and Derek gets so upset. Why would you say that? I'm like, well, obviously I'm not right like but if I'm doing all the planning like Derek just got off of five days and then he worked a partial the day before that so it was like pretty much me and the kids from Thursday till Monday morning and

So it was like pretty much me and the kids from Thursday till Monday morning. And that's like a lot. That's a lot. It is. But also we have a really nice time when it's me and the kids. Yeah, it's different. We have our flow. And I know everybody has their flow. And then when Dad comes home, he kind of integrates. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, like he could have his agenda that he wants to do. so I don't know. It's fun.

That's like a lot. That's a lot. It is. But also, we have a really nice time when it's me and the kids. Yeah, it's different. We have our flow, and I know everybody has their flow, and then when dad comes home, he kind of integrates. Yeah. Yeah. But at the same time, he could have his agenda that he wants to do. And so, I don't know. It's fun. It's hard. know. John and I were just talking about this the other day because he was talking with another firefighter.

It's hard. know John and I were just talking about this the other day because he was talking with another firefighter. again, this is going to sound bad, but like sometimes you get in this like the grasses greener and you think like, well, would it be easier if it was just like I'm a single parent and like I have the kids this amount of time and you have the kids this amount of time. it's still not easier isn't the right word, but like.

Again, this is gonna sound bad, but like sometimes you get in this like the grasses greener. Mm-hmm. And you think like, well, would it be easier if it was just like I'm a single parent and like I have the kids this amount of time and you have the kids this amount of time like It's still not easier isn't the right word But like it's really hard to go from I'm figuring this out all on my own to then you're reintegrating with your partner And I don't wish anything on my relationship or to my partner, right?

Ventura Fire Foundation (29:54.1)
it's really hard to go from, I'm figuring this out all on my own to then you're reintegrating with your partner. And I don't wish anything on my relationship or to my partner. But at the same time, like that is hard, that continual reintegration. And that's where I think like people who have like military spouses, like that reintegration happens less often. And they go for longer periods of time. It's just a different hard.

But at the same time, that is hard, that continual reintegration. And that's where I think like...

people who have like military spouses, like that reintegration happens less often and... But they go for longer periods of time. It's just a different hard. Right. And a lot of the times I find myself saying this out loud, what is for their families for their family, right? What is for my family is for my family. What is for them is for them. What Like I physically say it out loud sometimes because I have You need to hear it. I have to remind myself to be happy with what I've got going on, to be happy with

And a lot of the times I find myself saying this out loud. What is for their families for their family? Right. What is for my family is for my family. What is for them is for them. What like I physically say it out loud sometimes because I you need to hear it. I have to remind myself to be happy with what I've got going on, to be happy with whatever. Just say it out loud. Just reaffirm like because your things will come when it is the right time. And for you and your family.

whatever, just say it out loud. Just reaffirm. Like, because your things will come when it is the right time and for you and your family. Right. And just always remember that. Like, you will have your season. You will have your time. Yeah. But it's not going to look the same as everybody else's because you're not the same family. Right. You're not the same person. Right. Your needs are different. Each of your kids' dispositions is different. Every family is so different. Yeah. So just never, I guess just don't live

Ventura Fire Foundation (30:53.305)
Right. And just always remember that. Like you will have your season. You will have your time. Yeah. But it's not going to look the same as everybody else's because you're not the same family. Right. You're not the same person. Right. Your needs are different. Each of your kids' dispositions is different. Every family is so different. Yeah. So just never, I guess just don't live in the comparison. Yeah. Because that will kill you.

in the comparison. Yeah. Because that will kill you.

It'll kill you. Yeah. And that, that is it. Like it's the thief of joy. And that's where I think social media can be a challenge because it's the highlight reel. I feel like with our space with fire family collective, it's not the highlight reel. It's a private space where we have vetted and ensured that you are, you know, a specific fire family person. Yes. And you are safe. You are seen. It's the real stuff. There's no BS there. That's not what we're here for. We're here for real time. We don't have time.

It'll kill you. Yeah, and that is it. Like it's the thief of joy. And that's where I think social media can be a challenge because it's the highlight reel. But I feel like with our space with Fire Family Collective, it's not the highlight reel. It's a private space where we have vetted and ensured that you are, you know, a specific Fire Family person. Yes. And you are safe. You are seen. It's the real stuff. There's no BS there. That's not what we're here for. We're here for real time. We don't have time. We don't.

We don't. We don't. Yeah. So it's like, there are valuable things you can get on social media. I'm not saying that, but, but if it's, but if it's stealing your joy, yeah. Just remember, I have my own things. We can all be the main character. Yes. Cause we are the main characters in our lives. I love that we can. And I've been telling everybody like we're our own main character. Be your main character. Like don't let people steal the things that are for you. And if

In-person participant 1 (31:46.167)
Don't, yeah. it's like, there are valuable things you can get on social media. I'm not saying that, but. But if it's stealing your joy, just remember, I have my own things. We can all be the main character. Yes. Because we are the main characters in our lives. Yes, I love that. And I've been telling everybody, we're our own main character. Be your main character. Don't let people steal the things that are for you. And if.

people are coming in and speaking negatively to the things that are for you, that's fine because you either don't need those people, you also don't need their opinion. And you don't have to receive it. You could just say, I don't receive this. Yes, literally put that energy shield around yourself. And I think that's an interesting thing to point out. Sometimes in the...

People are coming in and speaking negatively to the things that are for you.

That's fine because you either don't need those people. You also don't need their opinion. Yeah. And you don't have to receive it. Right. You could just say, I don't receive this. Yes. Literally like put that energy shield around yourself. And I think that's an interesting thing to point out. Like sometimes in the profession that our significant others are in, we're going to be in situations where we're around people that maybe aren't our first choice of people to be around. Right. But we need to have those types of like tools and

profession that our significant others are in, we're going to be in situations where we're around people that maybe aren't our first choice of people to be around. Right. But we need to have those types of like tools and coping mechanisms, if you will, to be in those spaces. Because whatever, in a room full of 30, there might be one or two people where you're not in the same energy field as them. And that's okay. So to have those kind of like mantras that you can tell yourself in those situations to

In-person participant 1 (32:46.926)
Coping mechanisms if you will to be in those spaces Because whatever in a room full of 30 there might be one or two people where you're not in the same Energy field as them and that's okay so to have those kind of like mantras that you can tell yourself in those situations to Continue to protect your energy and still be in the space you want to genuinely be in And it may be temporary with that person and you know Maybe they're going through something and they're going to evolve and their energy will shift and maybe not so that's fine Yeah, and that's you

continue to protect your energy and still be in the space you want to genuinely be in. And it may be temporary with that person and maybe they're going through something and they're going to evolve and their energy will shift and maybe not. So that's fine. Yeah. And that's You can grow. And I can still be in that space that matters to me with like little mantras like that. I like that reminder. Yeah. Just because I want what's for me. Yeah. I don't want what's like for you. Not in like a shitty way.

grow. Yes and I can still be in that space that matters to me with like little mantras like that. like that reminder. Yeah just because.

I want what's for me. I don't want what's for you. Not in a shitty way. we're different people. Very different lives. what's for me is for me, and what's for you is for you. And that's okay. And we can still be friends. I can still support all of your wins. There is room for other people to win. There is room for other women to win. There's room for families to win because your time will come. And I think that's super important to have that perspective too. I don't have a desire to...

You know, we're different people. Right. Very different lives. But like, what's for me is for me and what's for you is for you. And that's OK. Yeah. And you we could still be friends. I can still support all of your wins. Yes. Like there is room for other people to win. There is room for other women to win. There's room for families to win because your time will come. Yes. And I think that's super important to have that perspective, too, of like, I don't have a desire to whatever.

In-person participant 1 (33:56.277)
whatever, I'm going to make something up right now, which is maybe not true in the future. But like right now, I do not have a desire to compete in a triathlon. Like another homeschool mom is like doing that. And she was like, you are so into your wellness and your fitness. Like, I think this might be something you're interested in. And I'm like, thank you so much for thinking of me and so highly like, that's amazing. You believe that I can do that. I am not interested right now, but I love that you

I'm going to make something up right now, which is maybe not true in the future. But like right now, I do not have a desire to compete in a triathlon. Like another homeschool mom is like doing that. And she was like, you are so into your wellness and your fitness. Like, I think this might be something you're interested in. And I'm like, thank you so much for thinking of me and so highly like, that's amazing. You believe that I can do that. I am not interested right now.

But I love that you said that to me and like you would be cheering me on and I am cheering you on and I love that you're doing that. But for me right now, I'm not doing that. And to have those people in your life that like believe in you like that, that cheer you on and things that are of interest to you, I think that's so important. And again, like where this sisterhood comes into play, like I'm being exposed to things that I might not have had in my like vision or wheelhouse, but it's like, Sarah mentioned.

said that to me and like you would be cheering me on and I am cheering you on and I love that you're doing that but for me right now I'm not doing that and to have those people in your life that like believe in you like that that cheer you on and things that are of interest to you I think that's so important and again like where this sisterhood comes into play like I'm being exposed to things that I might not have had in my like vision or wheelhouse but it's like Sarah mentioned this 5k and she did a 5k and I'm like yeah I did

Ventura Fire Foundation (34:54.017)
this 5k and she did a 5k and I'm like, for some reason, like that's now interesting to me. well, it was funny when I did my 5k, you had like just started running, but I didn't post anything about my 5k. No, you were like a closet secret. It was like Toon Day where she just showed up for the New York City Marathon. Don't tell anyone that was like Sarah. I was like, but you know what? I also didn't train for it. just because I do my Peloton every day does not mean, oh, and I did it in Denver.

for some reason, like that's now interesting to me. Like, well, it was funny when I did my five K you had like just started running, but I didn't post anything about my five K. No, you were like a closet secret. It was like Toon Day where she just showed up for the New York City Marathon. Don't tell anyone that was like Sarah. That's like, but you know what? I also didn't train for it. just because I do my Peloton every day does not mean, and I did it in Denver. I did not bring my inhaler. So, and I, I get like sports induced asthma.

I did not bring my inhaler. So, and I, I get like sports induced asthma. I've always had it. And so I forgot my inhaler and I'm like running with my friends. And then I'm like, the altitude. And I'm like, guys, this is where I leave you. Yeah. Like just go. Yeah. You still finish. yeah. No, I fully finished. I was not even close to being last, which I was like, yes. I didn't walk the whole thing. jogged and I did it, but a triathlon does sound fun.

had it and so I forgot my inhaler and I'm like running with my friends and then I'm like yeah and I'm like altitude yeah I don't like guys this is where I leave you yeah like just go yeah you still finish yeah no I fully finished yeah I was not even close to being last yes I was like yes I didn't walk the whole thing I jogged and I did it but a triathlon does sound fun

I've always wanted to do one. The swimming. The swimming is what? Is it an ocean swim? Because an ocean swim freaks me out a little. I think it's at, this one that she was talking about does it, I think at Mother's Beach. So that's like less scary, but I don't know the distance. It still seemed like a lot. Yeah, but there'll be people out in the water. So if something happens, you'd be fine. Totally. Yeah. Again, I'm not saying never, but it's just not something I'm interested in right now. But if you were like, like I'm kind of curious, like maybe next year I'd be like, yeah.

Ventura Fire Foundation (35:52.482)
I've always wanted to do one. I have swimming. The swimming is what? Is it an ocean swim? Because an ocean swim freaks me out a I think it's at, this one that she was talking about does it, I think at Mother's Beach. So that's like less scary, but I don't know the distance. It still seemed like a lot. Yeah, but there'll be people out in the water. So if something happens, you'd be fine. Yeah. I, I, again, I'm not saying never, but it's just not something I'm interested in right now. But if you were like, Hey, like I'm kind of curious, like maybe next year I'd be like, yeah.

Okay, maybe next year. How long is it? Is it everything three miles or is it like a three, a five, a 10? Like it depends on the track. I don't remember. And it seemed like from what I remember, I think you maybe ended on the bike. I feel like it was like the run first, then the swim and then the bike. So was like, okay, you end with the thing that's easier. And I could totally be remembering this ride. I'm so like ambitious where I'm like, that sounds so fun. And I'm just like, let me go home and lay in my bed. We need the delusional hype. yeah.

next year. How long is it? it everything three miles or is it like a three, a five, a ten? Like it depends on the try. I don't remember.

And it seemed like, from what I remember, I think you maybe ended on the bike. I feel like it was like the run first, then the swim, and then the bike. So I was like, okay, you end with the thing that's easier. And I could totally be remembering this I'm so ambitious where I'm like, that sounds so fun! And I'm just like, let me go home and lay in my bed. We need the delusional hype. Yeah, I'm that friend that's like, I'm gonna sign up for this. I'm gonna train a week. I'm not gonna train again, and I'm just gonna go.

Like I'm that friend that's like, I'm gonna sign up for this. I'm gonna train a week. I'm not gonna train again and I'm just gonna go. I don't know how you do that. I can't do that. That is not me at all. I feel like I did just like a couple months when I decided to do the 5K and I definitely needed to work up towards it and I had my little carrots along the way. you ran it though. I did. I did not run mine.

In-person participant 1 (36:59.358)
don't know how you do that. I can't do that. That is not me at all. I did, I feel like I did just like a couple months when I decided to do the 5K and I definitely needed to work up towards it and I had my little carrots along the way. you ran it though. I did. You ran, I did not run mine. I still don't know if it's called a run. Have you jogged it? fast, but it felt like a run to me. It was definitely like a run for me. I think our pace ended up being

I still don't know if it's called a run. fast, but it felt like a run to me. It was definitely like a run for me. I think our pace ended up being like 1030, which is very fast in my opinion, because I was starting out like a 14 minute mile. And for me, I was like blown away that I then did three miles at that pace. outside on the street, I was like, okay, that's pretty amazing that I did that. It went from not running at all, even a mile.

like 1030 which is very fast in my opinion because I was starting out like a 14 minute mile and for me I was like blown away that I then did three miles at that and outside on the street I was like okay that's pretty amazing that I did that it went from not running at all even a mile to three miles and like I still want to keep doing it in a capacity

to three miles and like, still want to keep doing it in the capacity. And I think like not diminishing what we've accomplished. So like you jogged yours, you did it Denver where the altitude is different. Like we need to not like beat ourselves up. Yeah, we're really hard on ourselves. Yeah. Like a lot of the time I'm just always like, be nice. Yeah. Look at yourself in the mirror and be like, I'm so hot. Yes.

And I think like not diminishing what we've accomplished. like you jogged yours, you did it Denver where the altitude is different. Like we need to not like beat ourselves up. Yeah, we're really hard on ourselves. Yeah.

In-person participant 1 (38:08.731)
a lot of the time, I'm just always like, be nice. Yeah. Look at yourself in the mirror. Yes. I'm so hot. Yes. We need to like go back to like sticky notes and like writing on the mirror. like look at yourself. I know I stopped posting like selfies and stuff on my Instagram because I'm like, like who wants to see that? Everyone. Everyone wants to see it. I'm going to post my kids and it's like, but this is my Instagram. I don't even think I've posted this year. And the last picture is a picture of my 82 year old dad. That's sweet though. I love my dad.

We really go back to like sticky notes and like writing on the mirror. I know I stopped posting like selfies and stuff on my Instagram because I'm like, like who wants to see everyone like I've got kids like let me to post my kids and it's like but this is my Instagram. Like I don't even think I've posted this year and the last picture is a picture of my 82 year old dad like it was first birthday but like you know yeah wait like don't forget if you are yes

It was for his birthday, but like, you know? Don't forget who you are. Yes. That's what I, okay, I journaled this the other day when I was walking on the treadmill. Like the name MySpace, even though it wasn't a very user, like you could actually change it very much. There wasn't a lot of that built in, but the name in and of itself, like it was MySpace. And I think we forget that sometimes with social media. We try to like beat the algorithm or go viral or like, do they want to see this?

That's what I, okay, I journaled this the other day when I was walking on the treadmill, like the name MySpace, even though it wasn't a very user, like you could actually change it very much. There wasn't a lot of that built in, but the name in and of itself, like it was MySpace. And I think we forget that sometimes with social media, we try to like beat the algorithm or go viral or like, do they want to see this?

F all of that. This is your space of your social media, put what you want. And if nobody wants to see it, they can hide mute, unfollow you, whatever, like literally, I forget about like, it's your archive. It's your journal like that. My shift has been like that, like, don't get in my head about who's gonna see this or whatever, like, and if they're giving your if they're giving you shit about it, like, who cares? Who cares? Again, go back to being unapologetically you like

In-person participant 1 (39:08.765)
F all of that. This is your space of your social media. Put what you want. And if nobody wants to see it, they can hide and mute, unfollow you, whatever. Like literally. I forget about that. Like it's your archive. It's your journal. that my shift has been like that. don't get in my head about who's going to see this or whatever. Like, and if they're giving your shit, if they're giving you shit about it, like who cares? Who cares? Again, go back to being unapologetically you. Like their energy sucks. Hopefully things get better for them, but like don't let it affect

Their energy sucks. Hopefully things get better for them, but like, don't let it affect you. And if they want to talk shit, whatever. Yeah. Like who cares? Pray for them. Pray for them. And then like send that away. I also love to talk shit. I love to talk shit, but also like, whatever. Yeah. I like, it's fine. We listen and we judge. We do. We judge. We do. But also you can come to me with zero judgment. For sure.

And if they want to talk shit, whatever. Yeah. Like, who cares? Pray for them. Pray for them. And then, like, send that away. I also love to talk shit. I love to talk shit. But also, whatever.

Yeah, I like, it's We listen and we judge. We do. We judge, we do. But also, you can come to me with zero judgment. For sure. Like, I don't give, I don't care. But it's like- Not in like, I don't care way, but like- I genuinely care about everything that happens with you and what's going on. Yeah.

Like I don't give, I don't care. But it's like- Not in like a I don't care way, but like I genuinely care about everything that happens with you and what's going on. Yeah. And I'm not gonna judge you. Right. But I'm gonna judge you on little things. Well yeah, it's like I'm- Nothing real. No, like okay, if you knew that I was like, you're gonna train for this 5K, a 10K combo, right? And I'm like coming to you with my like-

In-person participant 1 (40:12.643)
And I'm not going to judge you. Right. But I'm going to judge you on little things. Well, yeah. It's like I'm. Nothing real. No. Like, OK, if you knew that I was going to train for this 5K, a 10K combo, right? And I'm coming to you with my excuses or whatever. And you're like, you're going to have grace. You're going to hold space for me. You're going to be like, Amanda, you're going through a lot right now. Your husband just had surgery. You two little kids. You homeschool. You would do all that stuff. And then you'd be like, OK, now BS aside.

excuses or whatever and you're like, you're gonna have grace. You're gonna hold space for me. You're gonna be like, Amanda, you're going through a lot right now. Your husband just had surgery, you two little kids, you homeschool. You would like do all that stuff and then you'd be like, okay, now BS aside, like this is your goal. Like I'm not judging you, but I'm gonna help hold you accountable. So like that's what I mean. We listen and we judge. We're going to like- We're holding each other up. We're holding space for each other and we're just like-

this is your goal. Yeah. Like I'm not judging you, but I'm going to help hold you accountable. So like, that's what I mean. We listen and we judge. We're going to like, we're holding each other up. We're holding space for each other. And we're just like being supportive. Yes. And you're not going to like, you're going to be like, whether it's like, give yourself grace right now, let's revisit this in two weeks and see how everything's doing. you're going to be like, you kind of have had time. Like, do you really want this goal? Like how can I be more supportive? Like you,

being supportive. Yes. And you're not gonna like, you're going to be like, whether it's like, give yourself grace right now. Let's revisit this in two weeks and see how everything's doing Oregon be like, you kind of have had time, like, do you really want this goal? Like, how can I be more supportive? Like, you would do that for me. Like, I and that's like, I'm so grateful that I have that. And find that person find those five people like, get them in your life. But I will also say

would do that for me. Like I and that's like I'm so grateful that I have that and find that person. Find those five people. Like get them in your life. But I will also say it is okay if you are going through some shit. Yes. To not have a goal. If your goal is just to make it through the day. If your goal is just like oh I woke up today I got dressed I got my kids dressed. I'm like that's a goal. No I've had those seasons so when we

Ventura Fire Foundation (41:24.369)
It is okay if you are going through some shit to not have a goal. If your goal is just to make it through the day. If your goal is just like, I woke up today, I got dressed, I got my kids dressed. Like that's a goal. No, I've had those seasons. So when we first lateraled here, we had dinner with Preston and Elizabeth. And I remember Elizabeth telling me like, she did not get her like shit together.

first lateral here, we had dinner with Preston and Elizabeth. And I remember Elizabeth telling me like, she did not get her like shit together until their youngest Jack was four. She was like, just hold on, yourself grace. Like everybody's life looks different. Maybe someone else can do it earlier or whatever. But like, don't judge yourself in comparison to other people. Like if your youngest turns four and you're still struggling, like let's talk again. But until

until their youngest Jack was four. She was like, just hold on, yourself grace. Like everybody's life looks different. Maybe someone else can do it earlier or whatever. But like, don't judge yourself in comparison to other people. Like if your youngest turns four and you're still struggling, like let's talk again. But until then, like you're doing great. know, like don't. Things do change when at four though. It's some weird time thing. I have no idea, but it's true. Something clicks.

then like you're doing great you know like don't things do change with at four though it's some weird time thing I have no idea but it's true yeah something clicks they're more with it they're less depend dependent on you and even if they're super independent when they're kids like fours yeah magic yeah yeah something happens yeah sorry I interrupted you no that was fine

They're more with it. They're real kids then. depend- dependent on you. Yeah. And they're more if they're super independent when they're kids. Like fours. Yeah. Magic. Yeah. Yeah. Something happens. Yeah. Sorry, I interrupted you. No, that was fine. That was perfect. Well, we talked about so many random things. hope you enjoyed our little bestie chat. Yeah. And I'm going to ask you the same question. My insane caffeine spiral. It hit. It hit. Sorry.

In-person participant 1 (42:39.162)
Well, we talked about so many random things. hope you enjoyed our little bestie chat. And I'm going to ask you a question. My insane caffeine spiral. It hit. It hit. Sorry. No, it was perfect. It was perfect. And Sarah and I are going to hang out again. This is the beginning. We hope you loved hearing from us. And if you didn't, you can lie or you can tell us the truth and let us know what you want to hear about. We're just hanging out in the garage and chatting. We hope you can find

No, it was perfect. was perfect. And Sarah and I are going to hang out again. This is the beginning. We hope you loved hearing from us. And if you didn't, you can lie or you can tell us the truth and let us know what you want to hear about. We're just hanging out in the garage and chatting. We hope you can find connection with us. We hope that you can find connection within the Fire Family Collective.

connection with us. We hope that you can find connection within the Fire Family Collective and we want to bring things that are of value to you and your space and your community. So seriously reach out, let us know. Let's do a question. yeah. I have ones over here maybe. no, we'll save that. But okay, I like this one.

and we want to bring things that are of value to you and your space and your community. seriously reach out, let us know. Let's do a question. yeah. I have ones over here, maybe. no, we'll save that. But okay, I like this one. Those are getting deep. We'll do that another time. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Those are getting deep. We'll do that another time. If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Ventura Fire Foundation (43:42.689)
crazy. it's, I don't know. But warning completely unhinged. Yeah. Yes. My like my whole motto is either wild and free or unhinged and fine. Yes. Like, we love that. Like, those are my two like things that I live. Can we make that a hat? Okay, so I have a brand. So maybe yes. Okay, we're gonna work on that. want like a hat or something unhinged and fine. Yes, that has been my like bio.

Crazy. What's, oh, I don't know. warning, completely unhinged. Yes. Yes. My whole motto is either wild and free or unhinged and fine. Yes. Oh, I love that. Those are my two things that I live by. Can we make that a hat? Oh, I have a brand, so maybe. Yes. OK, we're going to work on that. I want a hat or something unhinged and fine. Unhinged and fine. That has been my bio on Instagram.

Instagram for like three years. Okay, I'm gonna we're going to continue this. I seriously want that as a hat. Yes. And then we need like a bumper sticker or whatever. Bumper sticker. sticker for my water. No one says bumper stickers anymore. Okay, thanks for hanging out. Bye.

for like three years. Okay, I'm gonna, we're going to continue this. I seriously want that as a hat. Yes, and then we need like a bumper sticker or whatever. sticker for my water. No one says bumper stickers anyway. Okay, thanks for hanging out. Bye!