Reconnecting: The Return to Podcasting

I'm returning to podcasting after taking a break due to emotional struggles with depression. My focus will be on relationship advice, drawing from my extensive personal experiences dating back to my first relationship at 19.

• Grew up in Brooklyn with only my grandparents' 58-year marriage as a positive relationship model
• Entered my first marriage as a virgin with romanticized expectations that didn't match reality
• First marriage lasted from 1968-1975, ending because my husband was controlling "like a dictator"
• Currently in a 22-year marriage that has faced recent challenges
• Planning to start a regular relationship advice series covering what to look for in relationships and how to move on when they end
• Most important relationship lesson: focus on having a healthy relationship with yourself first
• Will possibly return to interviewing guests as I did in earlier episodes

I love you all very much and will talk to you hopefully tomorrow. Look forward to my relationship series!

Chapters

• 0:00 Return to Podcasting
• 1:35 Childhood Dreams of Relationships
• 4:12 First Marriage Experience
• 5:26 Starting a Relationship Advice Series
• 7:17 Plans for Future Episodes

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

you and I love you. That's what's left over from my bronchitis slash asthma. I'm just you know. Anyway, morning it's been a while, since a week or so I'm the 11th when I did my night quarter, parents showed up your tiktok bubby loves you. And now we're a couple of weeks later, two weeks exactly, and I'm doing another podcast and I don't know if you could see this, but I'm hoping you can. Let's see if I can let me put the camera on there. I don't know if you could see that, but anyway, needless to say, you know, getting back to doing my podcast, I took a break for a while.

Speaker 1: 0:58

When I first started the podcast, I interviewed different people that I met on TikTok who had gone through such hell, you know recovering from cancer, transgender issues, transgenders. You know so many people gay, straight people that I just love doing it and you know I took a break since politics kind of upended a lot of things. But I'm back. I haven't gone anywhere, you know. I've just been struggling emotionally with depression and so forth and so on. So that's what's going on with me and I just thought I'd talk about one of the things that I talked about today on TikTok Live are relationships, which is something I know a lot about.

Speaker 1: 1:47

Okay, when I was a little girl in Brooklyn, I dreamed. Of course, we had no, you know, concept of what any good relationship was, except for my grandparents. They were married for 50, like, think, 58 years, and you know they had a wonderful relationship. But my father and mother know, you know, I talked about my childhood, surviving my childhood. My brother unfortunately died, like you know, in 2010. So what is that? Fifteen years? I don't know. Anyway, he would have been in his 70s, like me. We were always in survival mode. That's what my life was like, but I always dreamed oh, if only I had a boyfriend like Snow White, right, you know, some prince would come and kiss me and you know, I would take me away from all of what was going on in the world. Ok, anyway, that didn't happen, but I still dreamed. I always had crushes on kids in school, that people were not interested in me, those people. But I always had dreams and I said, if I ever get a boyfriend, that's what I wanted. Always had dreams and I said, if I ever get a boyfriend, that's what I wanted. I wanted a boyfriend and I wanted boobs, because I was flat chested for many years. No, I guess I did get boyfriends and yes, I did get boobs. Uh, the left one was it the right one? That grew first and I never had implants or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 3:14

Hazarai, thank god, because the way, because the way of my, you know my body and all of the you know, hazarai, that goes into my particular body. I have a lot of deformities I don't share and talk about. What's the point? I have my positive affirmations, but the first boyfriend really was when I was 19, in college, and this was my dream man Tall, good looking, jewish. You had to marry a Jewish person back then because if you were Jewish and you didn't marry a Jewish person, forget about it. Your family would have excommunicated you, alibi. They should only know later on in life how things changed for me, however, so and tall, my grandmother always said my bubby, marry a tall person.

Speaker 1: 3:59

So the first boyfriend was like in college and we went and went together for two and a half years and then we got engaged and right before I got married, the month before, boy, I didn't want to get married at all. I did not want to get married to him. I don't know, I had a foreboding. You know I was a virgin when I got married, believe it or not. Yes, tiktok Bubby was a virgin, honey. I had never done it. I'd seen it but I'd never done it. You know, I'd seen the pee but I'd never done it with him. So when we got married it didn't turn out to be what I hoped or what I thought, or fantasy of what it was going to be. I don't know what I thought. I had no concept. So we really didn't get along. He was very, you know, he was like a dictator to me, like my mother was, and that was bad for me. So that was my first marriage. Okay, from like 1968, when we got divorced. Ok, from like 1968, when we got divorced, eventually with 75. Then I moved out here.

Speaker 1: 5:07

I'm just giving you my life story, some of it which I know a lot of you have heard before. Excuse me for coughing, but I want to. I want to do relationship advice. I'm going to start doing that, maybe on a daily basis, I don't know, but I want to talk about relationships, what to look for, what happens when people don't want to be with you anymore, and, you know, how do you get over all that stuff. There's so many different ways today.

Speaker 1: 5:38

I married over 22 years and life has not been easy lately, with a lot of situations and stuff with my husband, you know. But I'm still here, I'm not ready to leave and if I was to like if anything happened to him, I don't know what I would do. That's the God's honest truth, you know. I just thought I would share what's going on with me today. I'm just checking in, baby. I'm just checking in and starting to do my podcast again. Perhaps I'll have people come in again where I could interview them like I used to.

Speaker 1: 6:15

I don't know if that has any interest for any of you, but just let me know because you know I'm a relationship person. I'm a lever with a Leo rising in an Aquarius moon. I'm somebody that loves relationships. That's just who I am. As I said, I've been in one the good or the bad and the ugly since I was 19 years old. So I just thought I would tell you that, in case you wanted to know.

Speaker 1: 6:40

I'm not doing long TikToks now live. I'm doing some of them, I guess. And then I'm also doing my little podcast Now, not long podcast, but anymore. But you know, I want to start a series of relationship series, just so you all know that, okay, anyway, so I just want to tell you I love you. I'm going to record this and I'm going to put it on Spotify through Buzz Sprout, which I love so much, riverside, which I love so much. So be good to yourself today, okay, and we'll start a series on relationships.

Speaker 1: 7:17

You know, not necessarily today, but I'm just reintroducing, I'm going to start doing relationships again, you know, and talking about that and what to look for and what you should look for, and the most important thing I found for me is to have a relationship with yourself, because that's the person you really need to please, you know. So, anyway, just thought I would tell you, love you all very much and I will talk to you, hopefully tomorrow. You never know if I'm going to do it or not. I might do it, I might not, but I want to start the relationship series, so look forward to that. Okay, dolls, okay.