Mornin Bitches
A cursing, foul mouth old ladies take on the present world!!! Filled with her opinions, views on current events, and special guest appearances!
Mornin Bitches
Body Odor, Aging, and the Secret Life of Armpits
Ever caught someone in a lie about their personal hygiene? That's exactly where this story begins—discovering my 77-year-old husband hasn't used deodorant for six months despite claiming it had only been a week! This revelation sparked my deep dive into the surprisingly complex world of body odor, personal preferences, and the unavoidable realities of aging bodies.
Growing up, I developed a sensitive awareness of body odor after cruel teenage girls made comments about how I smelled. These formative experiences shaped my lifelong appreciation for fragrance—from Joy Patou and Chanel No. 5 to Shalimar and Opium. But now at 77 "fucking years old" (as I candidly put it), our bodies are breaking down in new ways, creating stronger scents that require more attention. While I've committed to Secret industrial strength deodorant, my husband's post-COVID loss of smell means he's completely unaware of his own odor, creating an interesting household dynamic.
The question of deodorant use isn't simply personal—it touches on cultural traditions (like certain Orthodox Jewish practices), health perspectives, and social considerations. My philosophy is straightforward: with perhaps 25 good years left, why not make them pleasant-smelling ones? Throughout my life, cologne-wearing has been non-negotiable in romantic relationships, with unscented partners never making it past a single coffee date. Whether you agree with my stance or prefer to embrace natural body processes, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this surprisingly divisive topic. And remember, if nobody told you they love you today, I love you because you're you—just perhaps from a fragrant distance!
MORNIN BITCHES PODCAST
Hi, everybody Just got off, click, click. Everybody Just got off of my TikTok off, click, click. Everybody Just got off of my TikTok. And now I'm going to talk about a question that I kind of decided to talk about to use deodorant or not. Okay, let me give you my experience with deodorant.
Speaker 1:Some of us don't have body odor. Some do. I find that I get as I get older I do have more body odor because the body's breaking down. After all, I'm 77 fucking years old. Of course I'm going to have body odor.
Speaker 1:You know, when I was a teenager I got my period late, so that kind of those hormones didn't really develop until I was like in my late teens. But I did know that I did have body odor there. Okay, so because when girls were, you know, mean girls walk by me saying that I smelled. So you know, fuck them and the horse they rode in on and the horse they rode in on, screw them, let them. But four years ago, when I was on tour for a week and preparing to go on the road, you know, fiddler on the roof, my body was sick. And you know how I really knew it, because I never had body odor like this before. It was pretty terrible. So when I got home I took a long rest and then I realized I was sick physically.
Speaker 1:But today, you know, every day when my husband comes home from work and I want to share this he smells. You know he has cologne. I bought him. I love cologne. I'm a cologne girl from the time I was a kid. Joy Patu. I'm a cologne girl from the time I was a kid, joy Patu, do you canoe, canoe? You know I loved cologne, chanel no 5, chalamar, opium, I loved all those colognes. You know I have my favorites for me and for him as well. But he still smells when he comes home and I can't figure it out. His clothes are clean, they're washed and I finally found out that he doesn't use deodorant.
Speaker 1:Well, how long have you been out of deodorant? A week, a week? You're lying, ed. You're lying to your wife about using deodorant, that you haven't used it in a week. How about six fucking months or more? Hello, so it goes out, all the chemicals and everything. Let me just say it's 77 years old, both of us.
Speaker 1:When we age, your body breaks down and you're going to stink. I think you know it's like. I really believe that. What type of deodorant should I get Body chemicals? Come on already. You know what I mean. I mean, if we've got 25 good years left, we're lucky, okay. So I don't know what type do I use. I use secret industrial strength for my underarms. I just have to. But you know, for him a man's deodorant, you know that, and so he's been using alcohol to clean his underarms. I said do you care that you stink when you come home? That's it. He doesn't care because since he had COVID, like some people, they've lost their sense of smell. Guess what baby. I have not lost my sense of smell with COVID when I had COVID once and, by the way, I got my COVID vaccine yesterday again. So I'm good for another. I'm good for another 6,500 miles, but it's very important.
Speaker 1:So I'm just curious what you all think about deodorant or no deodorant? There's some schools of thought that believe and some, like I, was raised as an Orthodox Jew. The big Orthodox community does not use. I know they don't use deodorant, but you know I am just somebody that believes in using it and I'd rather smell good than smell crappy. You know, for other people I don't want that to happen. So I use deodorant. So I'm just curious what you all think about that. You know. Do you like deodorant? Answer me, or don't you want to use it? I don't want to offend anybody, especially at my age, at you know, my 77 fucking years old. So now I found out about this my husband, I'm going to look for a deodorant for him to see what. Will you know what will make him where there's no scent and he doesn't have to worry and there's no chemical? Oh, I know the body is a natural thing and all that kind of stuff, but some people's bodies smell better than others and some people's underarms smell better than others. So I'd be curious to know what your opinion on this.
Speaker 1:To use deodorant or not to use deodorant? That is the question. And TikTok Bubby wants to say that I love you. And if nobody told you, if you're not going to use deodorant, okay, but please don't sit next to me, okay.
Speaker 1:I've smelled enough stuff on a subway train to last me a lifetime and that reminds me of years ago when I was growing up, all the people that slept on the subway. You know, the homeless people back in the day, and there were many homeless people in New York, you know. So that's nothing new and that smell. So that's all. I always keep perfume with me to spray myself, so I don't want to offend anybody, that's just a belief system that I have. Okay, that's me, you're going to be around me. Put some fucking deodorant and cologne on, otherwise you ain't going to be around me. If I dated men that didn't have cologne, wearing cologne and had a body odor, do you know how long that lasted? One coffee Jaden that was over with. So to use deodorant or not to use deodorant, that is the question. Okay. And if nobody told you they love you today, I love you because you're you.