Mornin Bitches
A cursing, foul mouth old ladies take on the present world!!! Filled with her opinions, views on current events, and special guest appearances!
Mornin Bitches
From Wild Youth to Wisdom: Why I'll Never Leave My Husband
What happens when the ghosts of relationships past come knocking? When an ex-boyfriend from 1972 sends photographs capturing a beautiful 25-year-old version of yourself, it's natural to reminisce—but dangerous to romanticize. Today, I'm sharing a deeply personal journey through my relationship history and the wisdom that only 77 years of living can provide.
Those vintage photographs transport me back to a time when I left my first marriage seeking something better—not realizing the security I was walking away from. Young, gorgeous, with "a body to die for" and riding high on newfound freedom, I made choices that seemed exciting at the time. One boyfriend even introduced me to Quaaludes, part of a lifestyle that eventually led me to nearly 40 years of sobriety.
Against this backdrop, I read you a powerful cautionary tale written by Diane Berent Guth about "detonating" her life—abandoning a 20-year marriage, two children, and suburban stability for a handsome widower who quickly revealed himself as controlling and abusive. Her Hollywood fantasy rapidly descended into trauma, false imprisonment, and regret. The parallel to my own youthful choices isn't lost on me, though thankfully my story took a different turn.
Now, after 23 years with my current husband, I've found something worth holding onto. The stability of a committed relationship—imperfections and all—outshines any fleeting excitement or nostalgia. When I declare "I will never, ever leave him," it comes from a place of genuine appreciation for what matters most. Remember, as TikTok Bubbie always says: don't detonate your life over a fantasy. Take it from someone who's been there and learned the hard way—sometimes staying put is the wisest move of all. Have you ever been tempted to throw away something good for something that merely seemed exciting? Share your thoughts and let's talk about making choices we won't regret.
MORNIN BITCHES PODCAST
Morning bitches and dolls. If no one told you they love you today, then I love you because you're beautiful, hopefully. Oh, let's see, I'm trying to get my camera to work here so I could. You know, I see my camera but I don't see it. I don't see my camera, you know, I see me but I don't see anything else. So that's kind of, you know, weird. Anyway, hope everybody's doing good.
Speaker 1:It's Tuesday, all day, as Rosie O'Donnell's Nana, she calls her would say. I'm saying it's Tuesday. Oh, look at this, I've got dust. I'm trying to dust everything, because this office perhaps it's the cats gets the worst dust. Even after we mop it, after we mop everything, we still get dust in here, which is just you know whatever, anyway, so Okay. So I wanted to read this because this reminds me I had an interesting experience the other day.
Speaker 1:You know, I've had a number of boyfriends. Let's talk reality. I'm 77 fucking years old. What do you expect? I'm not going to be untouched, I'm going to be. I'm a virgin forever. No, so you know, once I had the first husband, who was the bum fuck. I hate to say it like that, but he wasn't very good. Uh-oh, that's the building. Just when I'm talking about shit like this, the alarm goes off, anyway. So I left him looking for that fabulous panacea you know, looking out there in the early 70s, maybe I'll find him. I found a few hymns. That's the reality of that. I did find a few hymns. I guess it wasn't the building, it was just an ambulance, and I found a few hymns and so one of the hymns I found.
Speaker 1:I moved from Westbury where I was, you know, living with the husband the husband at the hub and then I moved to Roslyn where I met this gorgeous guy. He was a few years younger than me or maybe I don't remember Gorgeous, very good looking. So we had a fabulous time together in a wonderful relationship. Then that was in 71, 72. I moved back home to Brooklyn. Then we were still dating and then I became a camp counselor you know, upstate New York, when I wasn't teaching, I'm drinking my coffee here. So then we moved up there and he took all these pictures of me which he just recently sent me.
Speaker 1:And the one thing I guess I just didn't really talk about is, you know, being sober almost 40 years, who introduces you to drugs in the first place? Somebody that you're dating, of course. So, as I remember, he introduced me to Quaaludes. Now that I remember, you know, and of course, he has to remember that I was good in bed. I guess I was, I don't remember. No, I'm kidding. Yes, I was Okay. If that was a prerequisite for a good relationship back then. That's the truth, it was Okay.
Speaker 1:So put that aside, and I read this so that those pictures came up and I put them on TikTok and Facebook and I put them on. Where else did I put them? Oh, I put them on Instagram, but I wanted to read this, because it's very important, I think, to know what's really this woman. Her name is Diane Berent Guth. Ok, so that's who she is. Ok, ok, with the wind whipping my hair and, oh, what is this Detonating my life Detonating? Oh, she blew a life up. I just yeah, it was almost like I was married, but I fell for a handsome widower. Okay, so I never cheated when I was married to the first husband. Okay, so that's you know, but I still blew my marriage up.
Speaker 1:With the wind whipping my hair in every direction, I blasted out of Los Angeles International Airport on my way northward and speeding in my white Mustang convertible. I had a white Mustang, but it wasn't a convertible. I careened wildly through the city and then the canyons. My heart pounded, my thoughts raced. I could only think about Nick's eyes, his lips, what he would smell like. Others' drivers glanced at my sleek rental car, their envy fueling my confidence. I had never had an affair before and these fantasy wheels seem like the perfect grace note from my Hollywood's love story.
Speaker 1:Sunglasses on, I was on a mission to put a body to the voice. Oh, she fell for this handsome, very recent widower and was reckless. I was a suburban lacrosse mom. She was jeopardizing her 20-year marriage, two children, two hypoallergenic dogs. Meticulously designed houses, swimming pools, gardeners, gutters. My ticket out of suburbia came at a steep price, but I was on autopilots, bell-bell and fueled by lust.
Speaker 1:I didn't know a lot about Nick. What I knew ignited me. The fact that he was from LA didn't hurt. Had he hailed from Chicago, I never would have responded to his initial tweet. He went to Princeton and graduated with all the Ivy League hoarding it, if not the GPA of success, so did, associated with a diploma. A simple IMDB search would have highlighted a failed career in the worst New York Times movie review she had ever read. I regularly did more research on what type of mascara to buy than I did online probing about this man whom I was about to detonate my life man whom I was about to detonate my life.
Speaker 1:My LA affair started in the bedroom of my Long Island house. I was one of a handful of patient zeros, the first cohort of Americans to test positive for the novel coronavirus. I was well enough to recover at home and quickly became the only good news story in America. I invited the world to join me in my convalescence while news stations around the world carried my footage of my self-documented isolation. I hold up and started an organization in my bedroom survivor core. In my bedroom, survivor core. My goal was to inspire people previously infected with COVID-19 to donate plasma, plasma, plasma. Not the Plaza Hotel, right? My husband at the time was not patient with my new hobby of saving lives. Okay, cut to the chase. So here's what happened I get.
Speaker 1:Nick's first wife was one of quarter million members no, I didn't know suffering from a deliberate, a delude, debilitating case of long covid. Oh, she took her own life, okay, anyway. So she's been married for 20 years. She got balled away by this handsome, gorgeous, supposedly guy, decidedly unsexy, suburban and swaggered towards me, she lost her breath, teetered against the hot metal of her car. Hey, I'm Nikki, said with a drawl, as if it were John Wayne or an airline pilot maybe both. He was shorter than the movie star I had imagined. I was from the East Coast and not yet in the LA life that most movie stars are in real life shorter than everyone's imagining. He was closer to my eye level but just as good looking. He came straight for me and took me in his arms. We inhaled each other deeply. Nick smelled like Southern California. As promised, his aroma was earthy, earthy, sun-kissed, balance with tennis and golf.
Speaker 1:A year and a half after meeting, nick and I exchanged vows in the marina and adopted his unpronounceable last name. The Nick I married, the one I fell for, vanished over overnight. After week two, nothing I did was right and his once gentle nature fractured into an uncontrollable, constant, constant rage. Ay-yi-yi, Anyway, cut to the chase. You know what can I say? Her Hollywood ending was far from glamorous, me catatonic on Nick's couch, realizing she had given up all for an honest-to-God psychopath. Within months of our wedding, I would end up in solitary confinement, based on Nick's charges of domestic abuse, in the most frightening lockout in downtown LA While he hung up on my jailhouse pleas for help. A year after that I would end up in inpatient trauma therapy, while Nick apparently told people that I was a drug addict oh my God and mentally unstable. All the while I kept wondering how far I needed to sacrifice myself, my pride, my dignity, to prove loyalty to the same vows I made for him were nothing more than script practice. I should have listened to my mother. Don't get fooled by Los Angeles. Nothing there is ever what it seems. Well, she's the founder of Survivor Corps. She splits her time between LA and Washington, wow. And with her husband. Well, authoring a memoir with her husband, nick Goethe, goethe, anyway, whatever. So wow it.
Speaker 1:Just when I read this, I thought about that boyfriend I had, who just sent me these pictures of me when I was in 1972, just about to turn 25. And I was gorgeous back then, really beautiful. I didn't realize it Long, brown, wavy, curly hair, great legs which I still have, the legs of the last to go and the body to die for. But I had left a marriage where, you know, it wasn't perfect, as I said, but at least it was secure. And I didn't realize that until after. You know my escapades into like fun, fun, free sex and disco life. So I haven't left this husband yet. Sure, he's not perfect, but we've been married for 22 years and guess what? Or 23,.
Speaker 1:I think I will never, ever leave him, okay, ever. Not for any pictures that someone sent to me from like 1972, not for somebody telling me I was great in bed okay, I know I was. And not for somebody who ever introduced me to Coilers, which he did. So, folks, listen to me, men and women, don't detonate your life with some fancy. And although I moved to LA, maybe this woman says LA is not. Nothing is what it seems in LA. It's okay. It's okay for me, la is my hometown now and forever. And you know I'm TikTok, bobby, if anybody told you they love you today, they didn't love you, then I love you because you don't detonate your life. Tick tock. Bobby is telling you the truth. Please listen to her. She knows what she's talking about, don't you? Yes, I do. I love you all. Bye.