Between Generations: Finding Love When Access Is Denied

"My Bubbie was my real mother," I share, reflecting on the profound legacy of my grandmother Gertrude who emigrated from Poland in the early 1900s. Her unconditional love created a foundation that shaped my entire life, especially meaningful since my biological mother struggled with what I now recognize as borderline personality disorder.

Grandparents Day awakens bittersweet emotions as I navigate the complex reality of being a grandmother myself. While I cherish memories of my three grandsons, I've been denied access to them, including my youngest whom I've never met. During our time together, I channeled my Bubbies spirit, offering the same acceptance and love that was so transformative in my own childhood. These experiences highlight how grandparent relationships can be both healing and heartbreaking.

At nearly 78, I'm also navigating health challenges, including recent COVID and flu vaccinations that left me with significant side effects. With asthma, these preventative measures remain essential despite temporary discomfort. Throughout life's difficulties—whether family separation or health concerns—I carry forward my grandmother's legacy of unconditional love. That's why I always remind my listeners: "If nobody told you they love you today, I love you because you're you." Join me next time for part two of "I Hated High School" as we continue exploring life's meaningful moments together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introducing TikTok Bubby
• 0:24 My Polish Immigrant Grandparents
• 1:28 My Experience As A Grandmother
• 4:15 Vaccine Thoughts and Health Updates
• 6:33 Final Reflections on Grandparents

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Morning bitches and dolls. If no one told you they love you today, then I love you because you're you. Hi, it's Tic Tac Bubby, and today is Grandparents Day. Let me tell you about my grandparents. They emigrated from Poland in the early 1900s and 1920.

Speaker 1: 0:32

My Bobby, my grandma, gertrude, was born in 1900. And she came here when she was pregnant with my eldest uncle, paul, and she came to this country and she had been the youngest of six kids, four boys and two girls, and she worked in her mother's pickle company shop in a stand in a market, so she was the salesperson. She came to this country, she gave birth to my uncle and she started on her journey in the Lower East Side and then Brooklyn, new York. If you're familiar with Brooklyn, we all know TikTok Bubby comes from Brooklyn. So I just wanted to wish a happy Grandparents Day to my grandparents, gertrude and Harry. First of all, my Bubby was. There was nobody like her in the world. She was my real mother. You know, my mother was, I don't know, you know borderline personality disorder, a lot of issues and a lot of anger, with a lot of things that happened to her which she never talked about. But my Bubby, my grandma, was my real mother. She loved me, you know, unconditionally. There was nobody like her at all. So I just want to say happy Grandparents Day to my grandparents, harry and Gertrude, or Gittel, ersel and Gittel, hello.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Okay, now we can move along to my experience with my grandchildren. I have three grandsons. The first one is 18 and he's going to college, which doesn't surprise me. He's a cancer, they're homebodies and they're very smart. The second one is born the day before me, max, you know, and he's an incredible baseball player, the youngest one I've never met. Why do you ask? Because my son and his wife haven't allowed me access to my grandchildren. That's their decision, not mine. And don't even ask me, don't give me 10 different reasons. Have I tried Endlessly. I've tried to no avail, so there's nothing I can do about it.

Speaker 1: 3:00

But when I was with them and it was a dream come true I treated those boys because I had never met the youngest one, sammy that's his name. Sammy the way I was treated by my puppy and I treated them the same way, with love and acceptance and allowing them to be who they were meant to be. And when they were taken from me, you know, my world changed because I love them so much. Nothing I could do about it. So I just wanted to wish all the people in the world who are grandparents happy Grandparents Day. Love your kids, love your grandchildren, and be there for them, even if you don't see them somehow someway. Hopefully, they will know that you're thinking about them. Oops, I don't know why that happened. That just oopsie. I don't know how that happened. Woo, a kerfuffle. Anyway, I just wanted to say I love all of you. Thank you for listening to this podcast.

Speaker 1: 4:17

Sometimes I'm here, sometimes I'm not, you know, and there are some days I go through a lot of depression I'm not going to lie and I had the COVID and flu vaccines on Friday, so I have not been well the last three days. When I had COVID, I had the worst headache in the world and I couldn't sleep. Same thing Terrible COVID headache. And I didn't even have COVID. But I got the vaccines. And you know what? I'm happy because at my age, almost 78 years old, if I don't get the vaccines, I am sure with my asthma I will get very, very, very, very sick.

Speaker 1: 5:03

And I don't listen to Robert Kennedy Jr because he has nothing to say. That's important to me. You know he has nothing to say. That's important to me, you know, and nothing to say that's important to anybody, because he doesn't know what he's talking about. He ain't no doctor. What is he anyway? A rich Kennedy. Even his own brothers and sisters have disowned him. So what does that tell you about a family? What does that tell you about a family? What does that tell you about someone in the family and his father, who is my idol, robert F Kennedy? What would he really think? What would he feel about his son and everything that's going on with him? You know, disgusting.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Anyway, I just thought I wanted to come on here and wish everybody a happy, happy, happy, happy Grandparents Day. And you know, tiktok, bobby loves you unconditionally, the way my own grandmother, bobby Gittle Bernstein, loved me. So if nobody told you they love you today, I love you because you are you. I'm still glad I have the access to my podcast to talk about a lot of things that are very important to me as I age. I'm going to be talking about, you know, part two of I hated high school in my next podcast, so I want you to listen to that. This one is just like a sidebar with. I miss my grandparents.

Speaker 1: 6:33

My papa loved chocolate. Like me, he loved Nestle's chocolate. He kept it in the refrigerator and I said, papa, can I have some of that Nestle's chocolate? Yes, sandra, I'll have it. And guess what? I took it and I ate the whole thing. Anyway, I miss you, papa and Bobby. I love you very much. I'm looking at a picture of my Bobby right now on my computer holding me as a child. Oh, my God, a baby, four months, and I just loved her so much and she just loved me. So if nobody told you they love you today, I love you because you're you. Be good to yourself. Okay, bye.