This week, we are delighted to have our friend and coworker, Jeff Mallinson, join us for a discussion on a topic that has been showing up in the field recently: resentment. Resentment is the unpleasant feeling that arises when one perceives unfair treatment. This emotion often evolves from disappointment and regret, but what makes it truly unique is the experience of unjust actions taken against you.
We each examine resentment in various aspects of our lives: relationships, spiritual practices, and society. Sometimes, we confront our challenges head-on, expressing what doesn't align with us so that the right actions can be taken, creating a sense of support and inclusion for everyone involved. However, many of us have been silenced, our voices suppressed, and told that this is just the way things are. Some individuals haven't had the chance to voice their discomfort due to feeling unworthy to speak up, past traumas related to expressing their needs, or their empathetic nature, prioritizing others' needs over their own. The accumulation of feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, being unheard, rejected, and the resulting resentment within can lead to physical discomfort or dis-ease. This leads to resentment towards others, creating distance between us and the situation, making us feel helpless.
Unfortunately, in cases like the gender pay gap or organized religious practices, we may lack the control needed for equality. This remains a challenge we face today. We witness societal shifts occurring around us as structures crumble, but sometimes, we're left with little hope for change. At this moment in time, it's crucial to keep moving forward and maintain hope that we can break free from the old to build something better. It begins with the places, relationships, and situations in your life that you do have control over. Voicing your needs paves the way for change. When we stay silent, we choose to live in this reality; when we speak our truth, we offer ourselves and others the opportunity to realign. It's then that we tap into our intuitive centers to determine if the shifts being made can align with everyone's truth in fairness.
When resentment surfaces, it's vital not to suppress it. Take a moment to check in with your body. What physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions accompany it? Allow it to flow through you so you can grasp its message. Just like the many cycles we experience, let it rise and then take time for stillness, sitting with the message and contemplating how to take action. When the nervous system is calm, you can speak, act, and change what no longer aligns with you. Continually assess your energy to observe the shifts within you as you grow, heal, and change. In relationships, jobs, and communities, your needs and the needs of others will continue to evolve. If we don't voice these changes, others can't understand or adapt to them. This leads to resentment towards both others and ourselves for not standing up against injustice. The initial step to letting go is forgiving yourself. You can only speak up and make changes when the timing is right for you. Divine timing is precisely that—divine. Trust that you're making shifts at the time that will bring the most significant alignment into your life.
BIO
Jeff Mallinson (D.Phil., Oxford) is a historian of religion and philosophy who’s taught folks of all ages. Having served as a university professor and administrator, he now teaches at an alternative middle school, where he enjoys helping young scholars chart their unique paths toward happiness and freedom. In addition to authoring scholarly books and journal articles, he recently published The Tao Te Ching: A Playfully Sincere Rendition with his partner Stacie, with whom he also runs taosurfers.com and the Protect Your Noggin Podcast.
This week, we are delighted to have our friend and coworker, Jeff Mallinson, join us for a discussion on a topic that has been showing up in the field recently: resentment. Resentment is the unpleasant feeling that arises when one perceives unfair treatment. This emotion often evolves from disappointment and regret, but what makes it truly unique is the experience of unjust actions taken against you.
We each examine resentment in various aspects of our lives: relationships, spiritual practices, and society. Sometimes, we confront our challenges head-on, expressing what doesn't align with us so that the right actions can be taken, creating a sense of support and inclusion for everyone involved. However, many of us have been silenced, our voices suppressed, and told that this is just the way things are. Some individuals haven't had the chance to voice their discomfort due to feeling unworthy to speak up, past traumas related to expressing their needs, or their empathetic nature, prioritizing others' needs over their own. The accumulation of feelings of inadequacy, unworthiness, being unheard, rejected, and the resulting resentment within can lead to physical discomfort or dis-ease. This leads to resentment towards others, creating distance between us and the situation, making us feel helpless.
Unfortunately, in cases like the gender pay gap or organized religious practices, we may lack the control needed for equality. This remains a challenge we face today. We witness societal shifts occurring around us as structures crumble, but sometimes, we're left with little hope for change. At this moment in time, it's crucial to keep moving forward and maintain hope that we can break free from the old to build something better. It begins with the places, relationships, and situations in your life that you do have control over. Voicing your needs paves the way for change. When we stay silent, we choose to live in this reality; when we speak our truth, we offer ourselves and others the opportunity to realign. It's then that we tap into our intuitive centers to determine if the shifts being made can align with everyone's truth in fairness.
When resentment surfaces, it's vital not to suppress it. Take a moment to check in with your body. What physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions accompany it? Allow it to flow through you so you can grasp its message. Just like the many cycles we experience, let it rise and then take time for stillness, sitting with the message and contemplating how to take action. When the nervous system is calm, you can speak, act, and change what no longer aligns with you. Continually assess your energy to observe the shifts within you as you grow, heal, and change. In relationships, jobs, and communities, your needs and the needs of others will continue to evolve. If we don't voice these changes, others can't understand or adapt to them. This leads to resentment towards both others and ourselves for not standing up against injustice. The initial step to letting go is forgiving yourself. You can only speak up and make changes when the timing is right for you. Divine timing is precisely that—divine. Trust that you're making shifts at the time that will bring the most significant alignment into your life.
BIO
Jeff Mallinson (D.Phil., Oxford) is a historian of religion and philosophy who’s taught folks of all ages. Having served as a university professor and administrator, he now teaches at an alternative middle school, where he enjoys helping young scholars chart their unique paths toward happiness and freedom. In addition to authoring scholarly books and journal articles, he recently published The Tao Te Ching: A Playfully Sincere Rendition with his partner Stacie, with whom he also runs taosurfers.com and the Protect Your Noggin Podcast.