Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Coach Kim Coles is in the Building
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Ooooooh you all are gonna love this one! The hosts welcome their first podcast guest for the final episode in Season 1. Actress, comedian, and author Kim Coles is a high school bestie and between reminiscing with lots of laughter, Kim evaluates Leslie and Angella’s personalities using the fascinating Fascination Advantage Assessment. Lots of surprises in store for the hosts and you.
Get a free Design Your Life workbook from Coach Kim. One on one coaching is available here..
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn will be on break planning for Season 2 until early Feb 2023.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Les. Hey Ange. How are you? Oh, I'm pretty good, but all right. My energy sounds a little lower than it actually is because I'm really trying to contain myself. I am so excited.
SPEAKER_00Why are you so excited? I'm not gonna let you suffer not a moment longer. So let's both introduce hey Kim. Hey Kim.
SPEAKER_03Hey Edge. Hey, Lennon. I am delighted and honored and overjoyed to be here. I am so proud of the two of you. It is a delight to have your voices in my head, other than other than the other voices in my head, on a regular basis. And you all are delicious together. And I know that people are loving it. I know the numbers are growing. And I'm just so excited for what you created. It's really delicious and beautiful. And a beautiful testament and testimony to your friendship and love.
SPEAKER_00Thank you so much. I I have I have two quick things to say. One of them is when Leslie and I have talked about our high school, Brooklyn Technical High School, right? And I think we mentioned Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Oh, we didn't even introduce. Hey guys, welcome to the final episode of our first season of Black Boomer Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_02Woo woo. That's because we're so excited. That's why. We're so excited. But here we have our first guest.
SPEAKER_00Here's a thing that I want to say about the high school that we went to. To this day, our inner circle of friends are friends from Brooklyn Tech. Period. So the fact that we've got multiple besties is just a part of being from the tech, in particular the class of 1980, right? Because it just because it just is. Because it just is. So that's one thing I wanted to say. The other thing I want to say is that Kim Cole has been entertaining us since we were 14 years old. Without fail. Since 1976? Without fail. If she had not given us hush money, we would be able to tell you so many things, so many juicy bits that you know we've been paid handsomely not to tell, so we're not going to take it any further. But you know, if you pay more, we may, we may talk. We may talk.
SPEAKER_02Actually, I'm going to renege on that. So send your money to Leslie.
SPEAKER_03DM me. Keep the hush money you received. I want to remember what we did and didn't do. Good times.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. Good times. Always. Always good times. And and you might not know, but Kim, for all four years that we were there, right? Let's uh Kim was student body president. Was class president. Class president. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, as I always say, it wasn't because I had any policies or programs or politics. I was just like, hey, vote for me and I'll make you laugh. And because everyone there was so smart and so, you know, like, you know, some had pocket, like this is the pocket protecting bunch. Super, super smart and super, super, you know, so many were, you know, serious and intense, and you know, and so I I it was easy. All I had to do was like, I'm just gonna make you laugh. They're like, okay. And then you vote. And uh, so I didn't do anything other than make people laugh. Well, that's a whole lot.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's a whole lot, right? Because that's like the the light and laughter that you continue to bring to the world. It's it's been it's been beautiful to watch you, and we still get choked up when we see you perform. It's still like, you know, like oh my gosh, that's our girl right there. And you know, I'm like, oh, oh, she makes it look so we need you more now than ever.
SPEAKER_02You know, we really do. We need laughter, we need your energy, we need your love. And I just I've I've felt it for more than 45 years. So you know.
SPEAKER_03Thank you for that. And and I want to say to everyone who's listening, I I'm I'm a stand and I'm I'm an evangelist for joy and for tapping into joy, finding joy, finding the joy in every situation that you can, finding the lightness and finding the God of your understanding is always there. And that's where the joy and the bliss and the love is. And again, like you said, we need it now more than ever. There's so much that's going on out there that it's our job, our responsibility to handle keeping as much joy as possible available in our world and in the and the worlds that we impact, yeah, in our house. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely true. So there is a special reason we were gonna have Kim on anyway, because you know, why not why not? I mean, she's one of our besties. But also because as we bring our season one to a close, this is the last episode of our season one. I think Leslie and I said it last episode that we really intentionally made season one be about getting to know who Leslie and I are, right? So we got pretty personal about who we are. And you've heard us talk a lot about the right brain, left brain thing, and you know, just kind of poking fun at each other or and and we wanted to bring Kim on as the last the last episode of the season because she's got this fascinating good choice of word, huh? She's got this fascinating program that evaluates one's, I don't know if is it a personality? What is it that is evaluating?
SPEAKER_03Well, I I became what we call a fascination certified advisor. Um, I'm certified in the system of fascination. It was discovered by a woman named Sally Hogshead, and it's actually based on science. It's a it's it's the first personality test that tests how the world sees you rather than how you see the world. And the whole premise behind it is that when you discover how you communicate at your best, you can then go ahead and be the most authentic version of you. And for those of us who are in business or work with teams, it's really about celebrating your uniqueness and celebrating that different is better than better. And wait, excuse me. Pause on that, please. Say that again. Say that again. So we live in a world that's that's commodity. What's the commodity commoditization? It's too many, too many syllables because I have a but in a world that's competitive and we're all trying to be seen and heard and stand out in the way that we want to stand out. That different is better than better. So rather, isn't that great? So rather than trying to be better than someone, because who decides what better is? Right, right. But different being your unique, uh, you know, I like to say perfectly imperfect self is all that is needed for such a type of this. And so what if we're taught now? What if we are empowered now, I should say, to dial up what makes us us? Then you remove the necessary, you know, permission to I'm not saying you can't still improve and work on things and uh and and strive for something more, but to just be more of yourself. It could be said that just being more of yourself might be just enough, might be all you need to do in order to stand out, to make a difference, to show your value, and to celebrate your mission and message for the world. That's that's the fascination.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I'll tell you why that's so deep, because what's coming up for me is in my years and years of conversations with Ange and her work with diversity and inclusion and the beauty and value of having non-homogeneous groupings of people in workplaces and in settings and things like that. Actually, listening? I actually listen once in a while, maybe once in a while it comes through. But so listen how you've told me that diversity of thought, of character, and everybody brings their it to the table, and it's just incredible that more people in the C-suites and managers don't really get that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah, that's so true. That's so true.
SPEAKER_03This system was created by Sally Hogshead, as I mentioned, and um it's it's it's also about person personal branding as well. And the work uh was created so that people and teams could work together best. So imagine you have a huge company or huge team of people working, and you know, now with this fascination work, you get a chance to find out how each one of these people uniquely fascinates others, how they uniquely communicate. And then you can empower them to do their best work. So if you've got somebody in accounting and they are a comedian or or or or they're you know, the they're passionate and they're the life of the party and they have great ideas, but yet you're relegating them to be, you know, with their abacus counting the numbers, and they're good at it, yes, but also empower them and also unlock their greatness in other ways so that you can work better as a team. So you know, part of this work is how do you already fascinate the world? Um, how are you already, you know, um how is your personality already adding distinct value and then celebrating that and calling that to the table, going, Great, we're we can be even better together.
SPEAKER_00I love that. I love that. So if if you haven't seen it already, that is the what we wanted to kind of delve into is how Leslie and I's reports, what they look like, and how much of it is consistent or inconsistent with the way that we've been presenting ourselves as left brain, right brain. And so I am so excited to jump in. Jump in. Who wants to go?
SPEAKER_02You're excited. I'm a little afraid, as usual. No, you're you're so skinny. Self-discovery is a little hard for me, but okay.
SPEAKER_03Well, well, here's the good news about this work is that every last one of the archetypes, there's 49 archetypes, and they are all yummy. And they're all, you know, when I first found this work years ago, and I was so committed to becoming a coach in in and you know, becoming certified in this. This is in addition to Hollywood and all that other stuff. That's great. This I love because people have an opportunity to be seen and heard, and you're gonna wit, you're gonna hear things, and you go, wait a minute, that is how I do what I do. And it's it's it's for me, it felt life-affirming. So I don't have to pretend to be anything else. I show up as me, and it's like the the you know, the road will rise up to meet me, and so will that. So I'm gonna start with you, Leslie, since you seem to be a little reticent. Well, so wait till you hear your name. I'm gonna tell you your new name. Your your advantage is your I'm sorry, your uh archetype is you are the change agent. Don't that's go, Leslie. Go, go, go, Leslie. Your advantages are power and innovation. I'm gonna give you just uh, you know, I wasn't gonna add this to the mix, but let me just give you this. I'm gonna tell you two things that I that I love, love, love about this. Number one, you have a twin, so I can call you either the change agent or I can call you, you're gonna love this, the maverick leader.
SPEAKER_02Oh, not the maverick leader, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want the maverick leader. Okay, ML for short. ML for sure. The maverick. Does that feel good? No. And I'll allow you to call me Maverick. Okay, it's no longer Leslie. It's no longer the Maverick Leader.
SPEAKER_03Now, here's what's really cool about this is that Maverick, excuse me.
SPEAKER_02Dr. Maverick Leader. Wait a minute now.
SPEAKER_03Maverick Leader. Here's what's hysterical about that. I have another Dr. Maverick leader in my life, and it's my boyfriend. Oh, my EJ is the boss, the boss, and we call him the boyfriend of sweetness, is also the maverick leader. So when I pulled your report, I was like, Oh, your sister-in-law is the same leader. So let's just talk about how you communicate already, Leslie. So the power advantage means that, and if you all hear some pages flipping in the background, that's because I'm literally flipping the pages. Um, um, it's the most effective way of communication. You are inventive, untraditional, and self-propelled. Um independent, witty, sharp. You have a strong drive to come up with a different approach. And you can let me know if this resonates with you or not, or you can look in your life where this um this pops up. And I'm gonna share a story with you in just a moment. I'm like, oh my goodness, I get it. This is where it shows up. You bring alternative opinions to dull meetings and fresh ideas to stale companies. Is that you?
SPEAKER_02It is.
SPEAKER_03I want to talk about that a little bit later on when you finish, Kim. Um, you're not afraid to be different. When you get on a roll, you can bring people in with a flurry of untraditional approaches. Your energy and direction gives you the power to inspire other people to be innovative as well. So the term power, we, you know, it has a connotation of of, you know, you know, you know, clicking down the hallway with her high heel shoes, which you may do, you know, ruling. But the truth is that true power when it's when it's um wielded in a particular way is to create space for others to shine and and do well. Yeah. Let me just go through a few other things. I want to get to your um um, you're resourceful and artistic. Um, you're unafraid to go against the grain. Um you have creativity, ideas flowing, you uh your communication style is bold. I've always been so impressed with you. You succinctly uh have always uh you enunciate your words, you always have, and you're just like I can hear you clearly in my head anytime I even think about you. Um clever, charming, good humor, vivid. I can I have a hundred more adjectives. Okay, but I get it, I get it.
SPEAKER_00Can I can I remind you of uh something, Les? Remember, this is identifying how people see you. And I know that what your judge duty is saying to you now, maybe that um those things that you are not. Um those the ways that we see ourselves, we are our harshest critic. And I really want you to do your best to let this stuff go down to your toes because I know that you may be having um because we talked about like you know, I don't like my voice, or you know, and I'm the same way. I'm not saying that you know you're the only one who's like this, but Kim is talking about how people see you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Well, let's ask her how this how is this landing with you? Do you see that you how is this landing with you?
SPEAKER_02It's well, one thing I find it pretty interesting because Kim, you've known me all my life, and some of these things are exactly the way that you've described me years and years ago. I don't know how much you, you know, have remembered or thought about that yet. But oh my gosh, it's really something else.
SPEAKER_03But not but but not trying. You know, we all know people and and women in particular who are trying to be a boss chick.
SPEAKER_02That's you know, but no, you've never you've never told me that you've never uh said that you had that impression. It was actually some of the other adjectives that you said from like high school.
SPEAKER_03You know, you felt very much in command of your of your femininity, your command of yourself. You you you see yeah, but and even though listen, all of us have our unshakable moments on the inside, but you you were confident and you were attractive not only because you're so beautiful, but you were attractive because there was an energy of of of um confidence and and boldness, and but also allowing others to be who they are. You know, you seemed very allowing, even though you didn't like my glitter nail polish, and not you will never forgive you for that. And I saw you with glitter nail polish. I was like, oh, because on the other side now. I love that, I love that.
SPEAKER_02You can but you know, one thing that I find so wonderful, wonderful about this fascination assessment is that here I am, or was a 15 or 18 or 20-year-old person, and the character traits of how I am perceived have gone for all these years, you know, they've been consistent.
SPEAKER_03Wow. Say this, you know, when I was reminded while listening to, and Angie, we're gonna get to you, and then I'm gonna double back. So so again, you are power and innovation, innovation is right new ideas. Power is um um, you know, power is the language of leading with command, but not demand, but command, which is very different, right? And the story of you deciding I'm I'm going to med school at 36. And you know, it's done more and more and more as the years have gone by, but you were like, I you you said I was the oldest person in my class, and I but I was determined to do it, and and and you did it, and then I heard on the episode I forgot about the award that you won just by showing up and being the the best, not competitive, but being compassionate, yeah. And I'm just I know that your patients are better for having you in their lives because um because you're in their life, and um that speaks volumes about you, and and the way you crafted a way for you to be able to do it and an opportunity for your son and his father to spend time together while you know all of this was all happening, that took great innovation. There are many who would have said, I can't do this because I got and you you you you did the ultimate for everyone's life involved, and that's thank you, love.
SPEAKER_02Thank you.
SPEAKER_03All right, let's hear about Ange. Oh boy, I'm gonna double back to the tertiary in a minute because you're gonna love this. So, Ange Angela, yes, is the catalyst. I'm gonna tell you your twin. Okay, your twin is the rock star. Woo! Wait a minute, no. So, my dear, you are um you lead with uh passion and uh innovation, uh, passion and innovation. So that means that both of you have innovation in common. So of course, a podcast is perfect. Of course, showing others how a decades-long friendship can um thrive and grow and change and grow again. That's innovative. You know, when we hear stories of women not getting along, I don't have any women like that in my life.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, did I?
SPEAKER_03Like, what do you mean women aren't getting along? Only women who support each other, but that's another story. So, of course, the innovation is working. So you are out of the box, social and energizing. And as the rock star, you are bold, artistic, and unorthodox. And so notice how there's there's that cross uh, you know, that you all have together. Um, passion is the language of relationships. Oh no, I'm sorry, passion is the language of emotion. And you absolutely do lead with your whole throbbing heart all the time. And you always have, and you always have. And um, and so the world sees you. This is how the world sees you. Okay, you make a vibrant first impression, and you're valued.
SPEAKER_02Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_03Yes, you are valued for your enthusiastic approach and ability, ability to generate ideas. I'm certain that when you were in your corporate, corporate world, when you walked in the boardroom, they're like, okay, now we can get started. Here we go. I'm hurting. And social, you embrace new situations and relationships with zeal. I've watched you do that uh for as long as I've known you as well. You have, you know, I've watched your curiosity as people from different walks of life or different cultures would come in and you'd be willing to learn about them and incorporate, you know, how do you how do you talk? And it just really important. You speak with flair and you use expressive gestures, you know how to captivate an audience, you're named the catalyst because you add value by starting action. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Whoa, as in as in this podcast, as in this podcast, as in this podcast, our producer.
SPEAKER_03You know, you often your creative spirit, you often dislike repetitive linear tasks. However, you know, you won't talk about this right brain, left brain thing. You know, Angie, I've absolutely seen you in your, you know, this what is the thing that you create and you put it on the wall, you engineer things.
SPEAKER_01You're an engineer.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. Left brain for sure. Creative. Absolutely. And Les, I've watched you over the years express your creative way of, you know, there's a way that you can look at something and find the humor in it that you know, we may not even like, you know, like we have this thing that we do where we laugh at something and then it goes deeper, and then it goes deeper, and then a whole other thing happens, and like you're able to track this thing, and then it's almost like you create a movie with the way that you're able to track this one about cheese, but then we get to laugh deeper and deeper and deeper. And I watch you do that, and that's very right brain. And so I watch you all use both and all of your big beautiful brains to impress and to impact. Um again, Angela, for you, you should be free for work that demands untraditional thinking. So you're out-of-the-box, social, energizing, enthusiastic, and creative. Um, and you feel passionately about things. One of my favorite things about you is how you will close your eyes to find the words you want to say. She does that. She does that. I do, I do, I do, I do. And you better wait because it's coming.
SPEAKER_02It's just and right, and she'll she'll hold your arm down and it's like, wait, don't say anything.
SPEAKER_03Don't say oh my the holding down of the and we've learned to go, wait, wait, wait, because something's coming. And there it comes. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_02And she has even said on the podcast, she said on the podcast, like, all right, I know I'm going on a tangent, but wait, wait, wait for me. I'm coming back. I'm coming back.
SPEAKER_03But do you see how if we know this about each other, how we can support each other. So for someone, you know, who doesn't understand that about you, Angela, they may go, okay, hurry up, lady. I don't have time. Come on, come on, come on. They need to know, you know, you need to wait for it because she's going to the well and she's going to pull up some gold. And for you, Les, you know, we, you know, we we know that you're a doctor and we know that you're a scientist, and we know that you, you know, you've got this whole left brain thing going. But if you give your give her just a little bit of space, it's going to be with compassion and joy. And uh you have I you occur to me as somebody who has a constant state of positive expectancy. Yes. Because we've all been through a lot. We've all been through a lot, and and you have space for all of us in the ways that you do. So there's a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00Kim, let me tell you something funny that um that comes up when um so Leslie and I have talked about in the podcast our um Bible study that we would have Saturday mornings, early Saturday mornings, right? It became this constant thing that Leslie was always the one, wide awake, bright-eyed and bushy already, took the dog for a walk, had her third cup of coffee, and we'd be just getting up. Could you turn down the sunshine? Enough with the sunshine already. It's too much. It's too much, it's blinding. Turn it down, Leslie. So yes. And I'm like, didn't we know that it was Bible study? We've been doing this for 10 years.
SPEAKER_02Why are you still under the covers?
SPEAKER_03I just listened to that episode, and you know, if it takes 12 years to get through the Bible, there's no rush. There's no rush, it's going to be there. It's going to be there. I love it.
SPEAKER_02I love it. The your father, Reverend Dr. Coles, would appreciate that. Oh, absolutely. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00So, Kim, one of the things that I've really what struck me about the description and the we tend to want to put people in boxes, and here goes my out-of-the-box thinking, it's just the way I'm wired. You just you have proof of that now, okay? Kim just told y'all. Um, is that you you cannot be so rigid about people. They're only this way or they're only that way, or this is the way they're gonna react because they're that way and they're not this way. And having these really rigid, there are always intersections, there are always times that people are gonna um act differently. And, you know, just the the the idea of knowing those things that, you know, kind of come uh, you know, is is is a consistent way that you operate, it doesn't mean that that's the only way that you operate. So can you talk to us about that a little bit?
SPEAKER_03You know, um, as you were talking, what was coming up for me was the more of us that are willing to see each of see see each of us as you know multi-layered and complex and to grant people grace. Because on top of Oh, I was just thinking grace the whole time you guys were talking. Grace, grace, and because on top of this is culture and religion and background and you know, stories of things that have happened or haven't have happened, and bring all of ourselves and and this I just feel that this work um allows me to go, okay. So I am by the way, I'm also a catalyst.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_03And uh, you know, that that you get to be willing to love all parts of yourself and be open to loving others, uh or at least be non-judgmental of others, right? Right. To accept them and allow them to be as they are and to um in whatever ways that we can create worlds where they can um um see that there's a the you know, the the the sort of the flowering of themselves is a very good idea. You know, this podcast, they're gonna be, you know, other besties who listen to this and go, well, that's the one we're just like that. Oh, we should you know what we wanted to read the Bible, let's do that together. You know, they're gonna be people who take on uh um exercising like you all did. I dropped out of your exbo. Kim got us into a group exercise on some. The catalyst, that's what the catalyst gotta say. I I recommended, I highly recommended him, and then I had to go.
SPEAKER_02You know, we stuck with it for two years, Kim.
SPEAKER_03Two years. I'm so proud of you all, but to but you granted me grace and you let me go. And so I think it's just being willing to accept people as as all just as we want to be accepted as well, or just to be acknowledged. To be acknowledged, right? Right.
