Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Retiring Without All Ducks in a Row
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How do you know the right time to pack up, put in those retirement papers, bid ‘peace out’ to your coworkers and start your next ‘best life’? We talk to ‘young-ish’ retiree, Monique Pooser Pritchard, about how she made the decision to end her 30+ year career in education and took the leap trusting her heart and faith.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ange. Hey Les. How are you?
SPEAKER_00I'm doing good.
SPEAKER_01Welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_00Welcome, Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_01All right, Leslie I know I'll never say it the way you say it.
SPEAKER_00I'm never gonna get used to the TV. No, I'm not gonna say never. It's just it just reminds me that you are five years old.
SPEAKER_01You're really good. My TV is my signature look for the season. So, you know, I gotta I gotta roll with it. Well, and the reason why I'm so happy and I'm laughing is because with this episode, we brought on a special guest.
SPEAKER_00A special guest who knows all about Leslie and her shenanigans from way, way, way back. Why don't you um introduce our special guest, Les?
SPEAKER_01All right, well, she also knows about your shenanigans um from way, way back. So let's not lose that. So I'm happy to introduce my sister, Monique Poozer, yes, my sister too, but Leslie knew her a little bit before me.
SPEAKER_00My sisters. Yeah. You guys have heard us talk about her. She is kind of infused in our lives, and she, as you will see, has these nuggets that come from God knows where, and they just kind of set everything straight. They just like, of course, of that's like you're gonna be hearing a lot of hashtags today. So get ready to write them down because Monique is is the queen of hashtags. She doesn't know that. That's not how she would define herself, but that's how we define her. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So and and and before I give you all time, um uh Monique time to introduce herself. Here's one thing that I'll uh preempt the conversation by saying you all know that um if if you know me by now, and you do, that I'm um kind of a straight lace, like a logical person, sequential and organized. But when I start losing it and I start getting confused and stuff, my guru is Monique. She is the one that I go to, she sets me straight, and Monique will make me come away feeling so ridiculous. Like, of course, why didn't I think of that? So that's one of the reasons why we brought her to you all so that you can get some of those Monique. So we've talked a lot. Monique, hi, and introduce yourself, please. And tell us a little about yourself.
SPEAKER_02Hello, my name is Monique Poozer. Poozer first, then Pritchard. Um, I am Leslie's older sister. I have two siblings. Um I uh what what about me? Um I used to have to watch them and be the big sister, so I'm pretty bossy. And then when Angie and Leslie from high school used to come over to the house, I'd make great speeches, I think, telling them like it was. And like I said, the world according to me. According to me. Also, uh, I became a teacher. I'm retired now. Um, I became a teacher because my mother insisted I wanted to go to law school, but I had my first son at 21, and my mother said, Oh, teaching would be a great profession. You can get off at three o'clock and have time with your child uh on hobbies. So I went on with it, and I loved it for years. I did love it. But um after having three children of my own, three sons, I only wanted daughters because I thought black sons in America were and uh boy oh boy, did they give me the roller coaster? I tell you.
SPEAKER_05Oh my gosh, you're ready, baby.
SPEAKER_02I look so good.
SPEAKER_01And then, and then you went on to be a grandmother of how many boys?
SPEAKER_02Uh, five boys and counting now. It's five boys, and maybe actually um, I think one adopted one.
SPEAKER_00Wasn't Leslie the last girl to be born in the family, basically.
SPEAKER_02Like, yes, yeah, yeah. Leslie's the last in our immediate family, right? Boy dominated, male dominated. It's unbelievable.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, male energy.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_00That's why you had to be so bossy, I think.
SPEAKER_01Um, it was but Monique snuck something in, and that's gonna be really at the crux of why you're here, because you did something that um many people wish they were able to do. You actually retired at a very like an atypically early age. How old were you when you retired? Uh 55.
SPEAKER_02I'm 62 now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So you've been retired for seven years already, which is a long time. I'm like nowhere near retirement. That's because you've been busy. And again, you retired at such a young age, which was again not the norm for people. Many people are working well into their 60s. And in my opinion, it's like you're living your best life right now.
SPEAKER_02You have one of those in spite of the valleys that have come. My sons have had terrible things happen. We've had terrible things happen in the family, but we have risen, yet we rise. No matter what the valleys present, we have good faith, we pray, and the adversities we were able to overcome. Thank God. But it has not been easy. But I couldn't see, I mean, the month or two before I retired, the last day of school, my mother had back surgery. She was in my house. I felt so bad. I I felt like I always said at 30 years, I'm not putting another year into anybody else telling me what to do. So I had 30 years at 55, and thank God I'm gonna say this. I had a pension. Do I have a lot of money? No, but you can manifest your dreams. Did I have a lot of uh tax deferred annuities and uh uh stocks and bonds? No, wow, but you can manifest your best life with ingenuity and dream and and uh vision.
SPEAKER_01You see, you see why I come to you for advice, you know, because here I would say, look, like, oh, I have to hit this number in my retirement accounts, and oh, I have to hit this number, and then I have to work until I do, and I may be tired, my body may be tired, I may be 55 or 60. I'm working full time, I'm 61 right now, with no retirement in sight. But you couldn't, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02I couldn't go another day more. My girlfriend Karen was a probation officer. Her and I would talk all the time about how's it going? We're getting out of 55, right? Yep, getting out of 55. She was my partner in that. Uh I my other people couldn't believe it. Well, I think in your case, I couldn't believe it.
SPEAKER_01But see, in your case, I think that you were lucky that you worked for this uh New York City system where you had that ability to retire uh with a pension. Not a lot of people have pensions these days, not anymore. So, in addition to just having that system set up for you, what other kind of preparations did you make to retire at a younger age? None.
SPEAKER_00I'm out that right there, deuces kick rops, kick waps.
SPEAKER_02Give me my money.
SPEAKER_00Let me tell you, Monique jumped. She just said, I gots to go, I gots to go, and you just jump, Monique.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and my sons had problems, but thank god they got out of it. I mean, it was all hell broke loose many times, but I'm like, I'm not giving any system any more dominion over my time. Wow, time is a gift. Yeah, I don't know when it's over. I saw, and this was another thing. I had quite a few friends die early. Wow, and uh pancreatic cancer, two of them. Uh um uh my cousin died early of pancreatic cancer. Uh another one uh, yeah, pancreatic cancer. Three of them. Wow, three, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, and then my cousin. So that makes four. Yeah. Pancreatic cancer. Wow. Young women, and they never saw Social Security, they were single, uh, their kids were grown. That was the end of that, and they didn't collect their pensions, their kids did okay, but I just said I can't give. Let me say this: when I stopped loving teaching, it was time to go. It's not fair to the kids, and it's not fair to me. The system changed. I was teaching gifted children biology for years, I loved it. But when it became uh non the school truncated and then charter came in, and there was no longer the gifted uh junior high schoolers, it wasn't fun anymore. You know, it it it was really not not inspiring anymore, and the kids deserve teachers who are inspired.
SPEAKER_05Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02Wow, so you knew it was time to go. Oh, absolutely. I couldn't another day, never I could let me tell you to be honest.
SPEAKER_00When Monique says, Let me tell you, this is what you chair again. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01This is why I go to my big sister, so she can leave.
SPEAKER_02Let me tell you, my mother was home trying to let in. She had just had back surgery in May, June let school let off in June. She was stumbling around trying to let the people in. She could barely make it to the door, and I felt so bad having to leave her. I took off I used when I said goodbye to the Board of Education or whatever they called. Um, when we said goodbye, I had not a day in the bank left. They owed me nothing, I owed them nothing.
SPEAKER_01Even Steven.
SPEAKER_02It was even Stephen, audience.
SPEAKER_01And I remember I kept asking you, you've been there for 25, 30 years. Don't you miss them? Don't you miss teaching? Don't you miss Monique?
SPEAKER_02I never went back in the building.
SPEAKER_01He will not even go in the building. That's just what you said to me. I said, Don't you want to go back and visit?
SPEAKER_00Listen, she left it all there. She did all she could. She left it, she left it there. I love that. And wait, let me just say, like, you what Monique has created in her new home is Oasis. Well, we're gonna get to that. Wait, I okay. I just wanted to say that that it's you know, she didn't do all of this planning, but that word, when she talks about manifesting, she manifested a beautiful life for herself and her husband. It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_02You just feel it for my second husband. Yeah, we were together 20 years, yeah. 23 years old.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, you know what else that I'm thinking of, because we're gonna get a little bit more in depth about how you transitioned from the hustle and bustle of New York City to a more quiet area in Florida, but I'm also thinking of how you left your beautiful home in Brooklyn and how you sold it. Let me just tell you all, it's kind of funny now, but Monique said, I am out of here, and she literally put her clothing and her belongings on the sidewalk. Wow. She packed a few small bags. I said to her one day, I said to her one day, Where's your sewing machine? She says, I left it on the curb.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I said we would take it. Thank God my middle son cleaned out the house because I she so so literally you were done.
SPEAKER_01So before we go into any other like what your life is like right now, would you have any advice for someone who's kind of stuck in should I retire? Is now the time to leave? Or like what kind of thing might be considered? I'm gonna say I mean, you did say that we have people who didn't live long enough.
SPEAKER_02Right. I'm gonna say this you can't be stupid. I mean, if you don't have a pension and you don't have a pot to a window to throw it out of, don't be stupid. I mean, the board of ed released me with my money. I mean, I could take my money out of there, you know, with my pension, my monthly check. So I'm uh stupidity, let's not be stupid. We can have a vision, right? But we can't be stupid. Also, I was with someone who has a pension, also, you know, even though you you know, he has prior kids, prior marriage, right? You know, we're both divorced and we would marry, but he has something also to bring to the table.
SPEAKER_01So that's so you had to look at that also.
SPEAKER_02I'm not gonna say you can just have visions, but the vision is what drives the manifestation. Yes, you can't, if you don't have a vision, you can't manifest anything, and God and the universe co-conspires to create what you you say your intentions are. So what I'd say to people, what are your intentions? I mean, do you intend to work forever? Well, then that's fine because the universe gives you whatever you say. That's what I believe. Whatever you say, the universe says. I'm stupid, I have nothing, I'm poor. Yes, you are. I have abundance, I'm rich, I'm of genius, I have great family and friends, yes, you do. So whatever you see, how you see the world, is the world that answers you. So what happened is my partner one had a vision to move to Florida. It didn't sound so good to me at first, but then I start thinking, why not? And then the universe gave me a kick out because certain things happened. My sons were living with me, there was a little uh disturbances, and the universe said it's time to cut the apron, they will fly on their own. I mean, my oldest son, uh, married with kids, you know, he was okay, but the two uh younger ones were still tied to the apron string, and I would have left them the house in New York had they been able to demonstrate to me that they could pay the mortgage without a foreclosure. They said, eh, they were all wavering back and forth, and then the house had to go. But the reason why I'm here and relocated to another state is because lower taxes, uh, bigger house, better house, better luxuries for the money that you're paying on the East Coast. And it made sense after a while. And also, uh, my husband's friend is living in the same town. And my girlfriend's mother, the same girlfriend who retired with me at 55. Her mother lived in the same place for 30 years. She's a retired teacher, also. So it was a catalyst to say, okay, this is it. And I came down here, I didn't expect to move so quickly. I came down here looking at one house. This is the second house I saw. I said, that's that's my house. The first one was horrible. I said, Oh, horrible. I thought I wanted that. This one, the second house, then I saw one more in the same development, and it was I didn't like it. This was the house I said, and then it moved quickly from there, so I had to leave.
SPEAKER_00So you went down how you um how long did you stay down there before you said, Okay, time to go back and sell the house and move back down?
SPEAKER_02I think it was a year, a year later.
SPEAKER_01Wow, that's quick. Yeah, that's it was it was pretty surprising. Like nobody could believe that Monique is leaving Brooklyn. Brooklyn, you know, my kid is Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_02My youngest son's Najer told me he was he's depressed. He was depressed that I left.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah, yeah. It's it didn't. I mean, it it look what I had to do. I had to buy a house next to you because I was depressed and missed you. So I mean, you took a whole lot of money out of my pocket, but that's a whole other story.
SPEAKER_02But we'll all be good and together sooner than later.
SPEAKER_00Yes, absolutely. Um I'm on my phone here, guys. Excuse me. I hear my dog, and I don't want you guys to hear my dog, so I'm gonna just make sure that um she's put away. Continue. Talk amongst yourselves.
SPEAKER_02Yes, we will.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, okay. All right.
SPEAKER_01So tell us a little bit about if it's like right now, because here you are in retirement, and I know that you just came back from a huge trip. In fact, it's not, it's it's one of your regular trips. Right. I mean, right lady is all over the world. But tell us about where you just came back from.
SPEAKER_02We just came back from Carnival in Trinidad, but we stayed two weeks this time. Uh look, uh, you know, looking at uh the family. Yeah, it was it was wonderful. And my two of my my girlfriend who I grew up with, another girl, she's married to my husband's bet one of his best friends. So we the four of us have a great time when we go. Yes. That's awesome. So we've had a book. They're also retired. No, she's not retired. The rest of us are. No, she's not, but her husband. Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So what is it like? Um, so you went down there into carnival with your thong and shaking yourself.
SPEAKER_02No, no thong. We played a little mass, but in t-shirts, like you said in the picture. No, no shaking, nothing, no tattoos, none of that. Nah, uh I'm beyond that. No, okay, but we did have a great time, and I guess, you know, the funny thing is, I don't think about it like that because before uh, you know, we're living a great life, but we're also helping, you know, I was up babysitting for my oldest son right before we left. Uh, he went to Mexico to have a little time to himself. So we babysat the boys I did, you know. Um so I feel like uh boys, it can't just be about me having a good time. Yeah. It has to be about family and and helping. Where you know, getting where I fit in to help.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I have a question that I'm not sure if you can think about that. Identify with this because I see you in a different way. But what fears did you have about retirement? Did you have any? Because I kind of see you as a fearless person. And one thing that comes up in our podcast pretty often is that we are not people that are, we're not without fear. We just have come up with um, with God's blessings, ways to overcome those fears. We've exhibited courage in those instances. So have you did you have any fears about retiring or leaving your comfortable space where you've been for nearly 60 years? 30. Uh no, I'm talking about leaving Brooklyn, leaving, you know, New York City.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Uh uh are we talking about Brooklyn, leaving Brooklyn?
SPEAKER_01Um I'm saying the transition from being to from Brooklyn to a different, slower environment in Florida. Because to me, but I have a lot of it.
SPEAKER_02I don't feel far flor, I don't feel it's slow because I'm busy all the time. So it's not slow to me. But what I found about New York is that it had become the more I looked objectively, it's a very abusive place if you're not a millionaire. I find no parking. I mean, thank God we had a parking space, but I mean just one. I mean, and we had a lot of cars, but tickets all the time. Um anything you need to get done takes forever. I mean, after a while you want a slower pace. Yeah, you want to look, you you yeah. It's for young people hustling, but it's also for older people too, if that's if that's what you like. You know, I stopped liking it.
SPEAKER_01I see. I agree.
SPEAKER_02Like how you move to a very nice, quiet place.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I needed a for me, I needed a but I didn't always feel that place, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02But the more and more as I got older, it's like, oh my god, this is just horrible. I mean, not horrible. Yeah, I'm grateful to where I grew up and lived. It served me well while it did. But after you after a while, that kind of hustle and bustle, either you're gonna stay in the house all the time, but having to look for parking and this and that, you know, it just got to be a bit much. But visiting, it's fine, you know. Yeah, I mean, you know, it's fine, and I miss family, so you know, yeah, but yeah, we but the world's a smaller place because I talk to everybody all the time, you know.
SPEAKER_01And you travel a lot.
SPEAKER_02I travel back and forth regularly, and and people come here all the time, right?
SPEAKER_01So who doesn't want to go to Florida?
SPEAKER_00So can we talk about her house now? How wonderful it is?
SPEAKER_02Well, before I yeah, you're but again, all of you guys' houses have been fabulous.
SPEAKER_00I'm just saying there's something about Monique's place, like pictures everywhere, there's always something good to drink. She loves to kind of make some concoctions. There's always something good to drink.
SPEAKER_01She always has a signature drink when you come back. Always a signature drink.
SPEAKER_00Well, I love things. It's like you never you never feel like a stranger when you're Monique, you know. It's so sweet. It's so true. That's why I want to kind of keep saying it. It's it's um the fact that you um you you you it's where you are, it's wherever you are, right? You had this beautiful place in in in Brooklyn, and now you've moved to this completely different place, but you carried you, you know what I mean? And I think yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's nice. Well, thank you for the kind words. Because I you guys have always been oh fabulous, and more fabulous, and wow, it's always been amazing. So go ahead, Lansa.
SPEAKER_00I think I interrupted you. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_01Well, no, no. Um, I appreciate you because I agree with what you're saying. Yeah. When I get the opportunity now to visit Monique, and I don't visit as often as I'd like to, but there's always uh uh warm food, she's always offering food and stuff, it's always, but you know, that's my sister that you know, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, so Monique, I have a I have a question. I have a question about um did you ever regret um any of these major decisions that you made? Um like is there something that, you know, if I want to advise someone, um, like you said before, you know, don't be stupid. Hashtag don't be stupid. But something that, okay, if I had to do it again, I would have done that before this. Or if I had to do it again, no, I wouldn't change anything because I learned what I needed to learn to anything like that that could um just now as a what do they call it, as a Monday night quarterback? Is that the term?
SPEAKER_02Yes. Okay. How I see it, you know, as Alanya Van Sand says, when you know better, you do better. Do I have anything? Well, no, I didn't know. You know, I mean, I can't say that anything. No, I think regrets? None. No. I mean, hey, what I'm gonna say this the greatest teachers, I think that, and I feel sad about I'm not talking about for myself, because of course I've had fear, right, right, abject fear. I I'm gonna tell you the worst fear has never been for myself, it's always been for my kids.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_02That's the worst fear. Because as any mother, they've had so much problem, you know. Uh black boys in America, it's always a fear. And a lot of the fear manifested itself. So then you go to prayer because that's all you have. I mean, that's not all you have. You have resources, thank God. You you're able to manifest resources and that to help them, but it's always been a fear of mine. That's been the greatest fear. What have what what's going on with them and what kind of world and and how successful have they you all gonna be, or what's going on with it? So sure, sure. The mother's worry is the I wouldn't say regret, it's just ongoing, but you don't worry, you have to stay in prayer because what can you do? Only God, I believe, can be everywhere, not me. So I've given it right to God.
SPEAKER_01But that's something that you've taught me, Monique, throughout, you know, like with um Omari's illnesses and different like life travails, you know, that we've had in the family. You know, when I start losing it, or I'm I'm a pretty stoic person and I'm pretty straight lazy logical, but when I start to lose it, you're like, look, you gotta God's in control, you gotta give it to take it to the altar, is what you said. I lay it on the altar, and um and it really grounds me. It grounds me with that, yeah. And you're you're very good um in that regard, also. But I gotta tell you that my humanness often presents itself before, and then I have to start remembering that wait a minute, I'm in his hands, you know, he's with me and he'll guide my steps. Amen.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Monique, I think, um, just has a talent for cutting to the chase. You know what I mean? There's certain people who can do that, but they're real abrasive about it, and you know, they might um let people who they're talking to feel like they're dumb or they're, you know, like what's wrong with you? type of thing. Monique has a way of like it's it's almost like a formula. Well, if this is this and this, then you do that. What's the problem? That's just that's just what you do. Maybe, maybe it's the teaching, the teaching side of you. It's like that's just what you do. What is all this other stuff? What is what is that? But the thing is, exact exactly.
SPEAKER_01She can break it down like that to the point where I start feeling silly for having worried about it before. It's like, oh, why did I think about that? I'll give you an example. Let me give you an example. I bought a suitcase at Goodwill for four dollars. It was a good, it was a good suitcase. I think we were together.
SPEAKER_00Were we were we together when you got together? We might have been together. Yeah, because I think you got it. I think you got it to to to send clothes home or because you bought so much stuff and you needed another suitcase. That's what it was. Okay, but I digress, go.
SPEAKER_01But my good suitcase that I got for four dollars on a subsequent trip to Florida got mangled and ruined by the airline. I attempted to go back to the airline to fight for my luggage reimbursement. How much did it cost? At least three times. How much did it cost? And finally, Monique, she almost like took me by the lapel. I couldn't believe wait a minute, it's ridiculous. What are you doing? She didn't go so far as to say, I will not drive you again to the airport.
SPEAKER_02I said, this has to stop. Stop it. It has to end. But wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_03A comedy show.
SPEAKER_01I think at one point I was um, we were running errands or going shopping and stuff, and I kept saying, remember, we have to go to the airport.
SPEAKER_03You're gonna waste gas and time to deal with a four suitcase. Are you nuts?
SPEAKER_01And and finally, after she presented it to me in that way, I said, This is unbelievable. I can't, I was embarrassed. Okay, you got it. You're right, you're right.
SPEAKER_00I was indignant. The wheels were going like this. Monique, she she got the four dollars worth on the first trip, on one leg of the first trip. Listen, like I couldn't believe.
SPEAKER_01When I saw that suitcase, I took a picture of it from every angle because I was gonna fight this thing. I was gonna go to corporate if I had that you really have a lot of free time. On my three-day vacation.
SPEAKER_03I was in shock.
SPEAKER_01So anyway, that's an extreme example, but a true one. And sometimes Monique just needs to like as um as the um as the guy, the the black eagle says, Monique sometimes has to put it where the goats can get it. You know, she really has to make it plain for me.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. Wow. It's going on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_00Monique is like, is this for real? Is this really happening right now?
SPEAKER_01This one is too easy. And she'll just dismiss me like, you gotta be kidding me. You gotta be kidding me. And then I'm like, okay, yeah, I really was kidding you.
SPEAKER_02Just joking.
SPEAKER_01I was kidding you.
SPEAKER_02Just joking.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. I gotta tell you, everybody needs that practical person in their ear. Yeah. You know, when when a person like me, I can take things to the nth degree and sometimes lose the forest for the trees. Right. And then Monique sees that shows me that umbrella, um, that less look, you know what I mean? And I really appreciate that about you.
SPEAKER_02Well, I I appreciate your pragmatism also, in terms of you don't lose it all the time. You're very steady and stoic and and very uh sensible yourself. Yeah, and you, Angie, yeah, but you have you dream too much. No, no, but you think outside of the box, and I love it.
SPEAKER_00I do. I think that's amazing.
SPEAKER_02And both of you have accomplished such admirable. I admire you both so much. You've done wonders with the a lot of things. Thank you.
SPEAKER_00You think all you've poured, you've poured in, you've poured in a lot over the years, Monique. More than you know. Thank you. Yeah, there's certain things it's like, okay, this this has to stop. This is getting a little ridiculous. It's like, what would Monique do?
SPEAKER_02Well, I don't know. Yeah, I'm not so pragmatic, but as a kid, I did could see things. It's like, this is ridiculous. What's going on?
SPEAKER_04Right, right.
SPEAKER_02But but I'm gonna say this. I think you take something and you go into therapy. You know, I've read therapy books for years. You know, you have to ground yourself and be honest. But uh what I found, of course I have fears, but I find that faith works better than fear.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_00So hashtag I told you.
SPEAKER_04Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01Faith works better than fear, right?
SPEAKER_02All the time. Faith wins out over fear. Whenever I get fearful or whatever, I just go to faith, you know, that a God is working for all of our good. Yeah, even though we have lessons to learn and it looks real dark right now, I expect it to clear up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. I want to say something too, Monique, that um what your um your decision, your follow-through on this desire that you had to leave, like you knew that it was, I think it was beyond desire. It was like it it was like obedience at this point. You you have to go. You have created um a beautiful place for your family, which would not be there in the same way. It wouldn't be this this um this respite, it wouldn't be this place of peace and you know, to get away from all the crazy. That is what you be and sometimes people think that it's being selfish to go after things because, oh, but I have to use this money this way, or I have to do that. But what you did by following on what you thought best to do is create a world for the people who you love, which they would not have otherwise had in this way, and that was the goal, too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, well, because that's why I will say that is because like most people retire and say they're gonna downsize, but we upsize, yeah, because we have big families. I can't, my I wanted my mother with me. I mean, and and the kids and the grandkids.
SPEAKER_01How could you, you know, and Ansel's kids and grandkids, so yeah, yeah, and and I never would have never had an idea to purchase a home in Florida, and it's beautiful, and I am seven minutes away from you. No, it's it was never a dream, but then looking back after you visit you, but not it's not just a home for me, just like you said, your home is not just for you. Our family can go down to Florida, and that's where they can yeah, yeah, rejuvenate, recharge, get get some loving on, and that's the yeah.
SPEAKER_00So Monique, tell us what like what's a typical um week like for you? Um what do you I know you go out all the time. Well, one of my best life moved down here too.
SPEAKER_02We joined a social group, uh Sports Um Caribbean group, and that's nice too. Um, one of my best friends moved down here, and then my other friend whose mother lived here. Uh she's 102 now, but she's in in the islands with her other kids, but um, they still have the house here, and my girlfriend comes back and forth. And uh my other girlfriend from second grade, we grew up together from uh second grade. She lived, she moved here also 20 minutes away. So uh I go to the gym, I go out. Uh we there's a million things to do.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh we so you don't get bored lunch, we go to the gym, we go out, and you know, we we go to uh jazz clubs, we go to the uh the Caribbean club has functions all the time. Oh, it's it's quite a lot. And then you have Miami, we're gonna go to a 95th birthday party. Uh uh Lisa's cousin's mom. Yeah. So it's constant. I mean, we go to the casino, we there's a lot of fun. Oh, there's you bring yourself wherever you are. If you're boring, you're gonna be bored. And let me say this. I mean, I it everyone to each his own. Some people really love their work and never can can see a retirement. My uncle, he's an accountant, he has his accounting firm, and he says he'll never retire. And he's a very rich man, but money doesn't mean that much to me. Time is the most important thing to me, the gift of time, because no one gets out alive. I don't know when it's over. So the gift of time, but also comfort, uh being able to have comfort, you know, and create a space for not just my comfort for all of us.
SPEAKER_01And what's the that we say all the time? There's not too many shopping days left till Christmas. Absolutely. This is the lady that gave me that say, and you know who gave it to me? No, what is it? Uh I thought that was yours.
unknownOh no.
SPEAKER_01What's the movie? Well, own it. Don't tell me who said it. I'm still gonna say it from you. I know, but the movie. Um, I I can't think the women. I thought it was my sister's original. What's her name? What's Warren Beattie's sister?
SPEAKER_02Steel Magnolias. It came out of steel magnolias. Oh, okay. What's her name? Warren Beattie's sister.
SPEAKER_00I I don't know. Okay, you know, but I'm sorry, it came out of steel magnolias. Yes, he was talking to uh Jack Nickia. Uh okay. Okay, it's still more neat because absolutely I was actually um I did wigs for steel magnolias down here, and that didn't ring in my head, and I was listening to that every night. So it's still from you. It's still from you. You said it different.
SPEAKER_03That's right.
SPEAKER_01That's right. I did. That's true.
SPEAKER_00You said it different. Oh my gosh, Monique. I um, you know, Leslie and I decided for season two that we were gonna have people who inspire people who that's so awesome.
SPEAKER_02I'm so honored to be.
SPEAKER_01I who knew well, you were one of our early subscribers.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, yeah. You we you know, we know so many um amazing people, right? Um, but not everyone can pass on nuggets, juicy nuggets that people can kind of use, and some things that you say really just transform thinking. You know, it really just transforms thinking. So we are so happy to be able to have you and share you with our and um, we really appreciate it.
SPEAKER_01People can like follow your lead and say, like, oh, you know what? I think this is something that I can do. Maybe I need to just change my mindset, right? You know, right it's it starts with that, you know. Yeah, and I'm gonna say it starts with seeing the possibility, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_02Um, it's important to see the possibilities, but it's also, and I consider you guys my team, you know, it's very important to build partnerships and people with your that can support your vision with you. I think no man, nobody's an island. So you have to get like-minded people to see your vision, or you see their vision and you're like, oh yeah, we can do this, you know. So I think that's important that you have a team. Uh uh, you know, you build us uh a team of support, a support system, a network, yeah. Because I mean, you can have ideas, but sometimes you need help to implement them. Yeah, you know.
SPEAKER_01We got that.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01You know, some people I think we're coming toward the end, so we're gonna wrap up soon. But go ahead, Angie. I didn't want to jump over you.
SPEAKER_00Oh, that's okay. I just wanted to just kind of call out. I think I've mentioned this before, but so many times this um I'm reminded of the fact that um so many people focus on on money, right? We know the value of money, we know money is is useful and those types of things. But I want to kind of just uh um use this example of what Monique just said about relationship currency, you know, that how important that is. So you can have money, but if you don't have your people, if you don't have your crew, if you don't have your support system, it really doesn't have the all of the um the wonderful things that money can bring you. If you're by yourself, then what's the point of it? What's the point of it? It's important to invest in people, right? And have people who invest in you. And I think that's what Monique was talking about, you know, just having these. Look, she mentioned all these people down there that she can now go and hang out with who've known. Wait a minute, you poozer girls, you just y'all just keep your friends forever? What is that? Forever.
SPEAKER_01We hone in on them early on, second grade, night grade, high school, right? And then we just cling to them and we don't let go.
SPEAKER_00That's right. We keep what we do. I'm glad about it. I am glad about it. This has been this has been really wonderful, Monique. Thank you, guys.
SPEAKER_01Thank you, Monique. I love you too.
SPEAKER_00Love you too. Well, guys, this has been another exciting episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn. Bye bye.
