Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Best of Season 2
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Season 2 of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn has come to an end but the laughs, motivation and soul-stirring conversations are still sitting with us. Angella and Leslie give you a great opportunity to hear excerpts of the season and re-engage with some of their brilliant guests.
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ange. Hey Les, how are you? I'm doing well. Good. You're looking awesome, Ange. Well, thank you.
SPEAKER_10You always say that.
SPEAKER_01I know because you always do. Would you call me a liar? Well, thank you for that.
SPEAKER_10This is a special day.
SPEAKER_01It is. It is.
SPEAKER_10But I always say that. That's because I'm so happy to be talking to our guests.
SPEAKER_01I know. It's it's super cool. And you know, as we went through our last season um in order to do this compilation that we we have today, it got so emotional for me on so many levels. But I I'm not gonna go into all of that now. But um boy, you guys will hear about it as we talk about um what season two um was all about. So um yeah, it was it was it was very touching. It was very touching.
SPEAKER_10And I bought with us this episode my cocktail glass. Oh, because it's a celebration for me. Well, you gotta know what's in it. It's an adult beverage. It's an adult beverage, but um I'm celebrating because we ended a very successful season, okay, and we're bringing this episode to you to introduce our third season in a way, by just summing up and giving a compilation of how wonderful season two was for black boomer besties from Brooklyn.
SPEAKER_01Brooklyn! Yeah, we um we actually started to invite guests to our podcast in season two. We did have one guest um to close out season one, so we'll talk about that. That was Kim Coles.
SPEAKER_10That was Kim Coles, and and Kim Coles is a real bestie because she's a bestie from our high school days when all of this began. So she's been a bestie for nearly a day. Uh oh, a half century. We're gonna say a decade. I started to say, well, that's what I want to claim that I graduated from high school a decade ago, but I would say a half a century ago.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Anyway, no, that one that kind of hits when you put it like that.
SPEAKER_10But I love the fact about Kim Cole's episode because she really talked about how she brings her particular brand of joy to the world and to her public.
SPEAKER_01Has always done, has always done.
SPEAKER_10And for those of you who might know her as an actress and right right now, she's a a coach and an inspirational uh speaker. Um we've known her in that regard of bringing just joy, love, light to the cafeterias of Brooklyn Tech, you know, in the late 70s.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. Kim Kim has always been someone really special, always been a light, always, always, always, always, always been a light.
SPEAKER_10Yeah, yeah. So it was really nice bringing her on our podcast now and just letting her spread what we've known for m many a decade.
SPEAKER_01There was so much laughing that we did in that episode. I forgot how much I cracked up, but that's that's what Kim does. That's what Kim does. Yeah, and she does that for all of us. And then we brought on um Rolanda Goodwin, who is someone that I worked with um at Cisco and just almost immediately had this um deep connection with her. You know, when you have those types of people that just right away your energies just kind of connect. Um, even before we had known each other um very well, we it it started with um us at uh Connected Black Professionals, which is an employee resource organization at Cisco. And so I brought her on because she decided to take a year-long sabbatical. I was shocked because she her her career was just taken off. I mean, just taken off. I yeah, obviously, we follow each other on Facebook, and um, so she talked about how that came about. She's introverted, and so I think maybe that surprised me too that she was doing this bowl movie.
SPEAKER_10It was quite surprising for me as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, and then we talked um about imposter syndrome and how it felt for her being um she studied uh engineering and um how just being in different spaces after college, she went to an HBCU, but then after that, working her internships and then working at Cisco, how imposter syndrome, or as I brought up, um a lack of inclusivity affected her.
SPEAKER_10You're always bringing on your own brand, but but it it gives us a um a reason to think on the second level, you know, dig a little deeper. But you're right about that. I really appreciated your um how you broke down the imposter syndrome and the difference between that and perhaps just a lack of inclusivity.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_10That was that was a nice interview. It was nice to um get to know her, and I really see now why she was so special to you. And who did we have next? In our um an episode after that, we brought my niece, Dr. Achama Ose Tutu, who is this renowned dermatologist who specializes in alopecia or hair loss. Oh my goodness.
SPEAKER_01That was really a lively, and I learned so much. Yeah, she was just a fountain of information. She really was. Oh my god, such a charmer. I really, I really dug her. I didn't know her very well. Obviously, I knew her as your niece, but I didn't know her as this intense, um, very intentional um physician. You know what I mean? So, as I said on the episode, I'm gonna book uh uh a session with her for sure. For sure.
SPEAKER_10But it's funny that you said that because I didn't know her as this business per the business person that she is, and how she brings her intelligence and her knowledge to her practice that is just so yeah, it blew me away, also, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that was that was I really love that one. And you know, since I'm into hair and hair loss, um, is um oftentimes the reason why people are looking for wigs or alternatives. Um so having that information talked about, um, I know my other audience really loved hearing about that, and she answered a lot of questions that I learned so much. That was great.
SPEAKER_10And it actually changed my mindset about some of the things that I'm going to do with my own hair. Is that right? Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Okay, all right. Okay, who else can we bring?
SPEAKER_10So, what was also nice about this season is that we talked to a few guests who talked about what their lives would be like um after their careers were over, you know, in in terms of retirement. Yeah, so when we spoke to Monique Poozer, who happens to be my dear sister, but she's even more than my sister, she's like my guru, you know, she's my muse for all of us. For all of us, I tell you, Monique has these isms, and she has this way of just breaking it down and making it plain.
SPEAKER_01I loved when she said, Don't be stupid, just just don't be stupid. Just don't be stupid.
SPEAKER_10But but what she also did, she brought something else to my mind that I hadn't thought about because when we think about retirement, we typically think about a number. When we hit that number, then we're ready. Right. But what Monique did, she said, when I get to be 55, no matter where I am, I'm going to retire and then I'm gonna make it work and I'm gonna be creative. Yeah. And it won't be. Wow, that is just so not Leslie, but but I get it. I get it. And as I said, when I grow up, I want to be more like Monique.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Listen, the part that I love the most is when she talked about the suitcase story. So you guys, wait till you hear about that. It was an example of just how practical she is. No, yeah, just just stop the foolishness.
SPEAKER_10No nonsense like richness, you know. Okay. So, but we also had Dr. Gertrude Fraser talk about retirement. So let's talk about that a little bit.
SPEAKER_01That was my sister. She's a medical anthropologist, and she has been really exploring other places, places to call home, places to find home. Because um, there's been a lot of, as she calls it, leave-taking, a lot of travel, a lot of relocation, a lot of migration within our family over decades, centuries, actually, she talked about. And um what she's looking for now is a place to really designate as home for her. Um, and so she's looking for that, seeking that outside of the United States. And that was such a rich, I mean, it went into all of these, not only um familial history, which is very interesting. Um it spans different continents and so on. Um, but when she just talked about with such vulnerability, about finding place and creating pace, place and what is possible and how to push against um against um uh obstacles and things like that. I really just got to know and love her on a whole nother level.
SPEAKER_10And you got really emotional during that time as well, because I know how you revere your sister.
SPEAKER_01I do, you know, I do.
SPEAKER_10And then when we listen to her as a professional, it takes it to a whole other level.
SPEAKER_01It does.
SPEAKER_10What I appreciated most about that episode was also how Gertrude talked about her research into you know, I mean, she's a professor, she's a college professor.
SPEAKER_01And she's a researcher.
SPEAKER_10That is such a part of who she is, and but how she brought that research, those research skills into her decision after she leaves academia.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_10It was very powerful.
SPEAKER_01That that one, um, in a way, it's inspiring to listen to, but it's also really hard to listen to.
SPEAKER_10I tell you, I'm getting a little emotional thinking about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, that was that was a doozy. That was a doozy. And then we talked about nutrition and which is something that we are struggling with right now. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_08And and Chisa Hodge, she just bought it home.
SPEAKER_10Hashtag stop the foolishness. Hey, another stop the foolishness. Hashtag that's not normal, remember? That's not about the whole yes, the aches and pains and this.
SPEAKER_08So we try to normalize all of these things so that folks so we can continue putting the crap in our bodies and normalize it and say, oh, it's just a part of normal aging.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. And it's not, and she made that very clear, very, very clear.
SPEAKER_10She did.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it was a great season.
SPEAKER_10I know, but what a wonder Chisa was in that um, it's a another thing that holds us accountable. You know, we we know that we are what we eat, yeah, and we know that our bodies can perform when we uh give it the nutritious uh substrates. I'll use a scientific term. This the nutritious substrates in order to make it power it effectively, yeah. But just to hear someone break it down and make it plain in that way, it's like I was convicted.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, food is medicine, so much so were we convicted that we are going to make healthy eating um a part of our reset, reboot, uh retreat that that we're we're having soon, very soon. And um, you know, all of these guests influence our lives, um, and we are hoping that they will do the same to you all. And um as we go into our new season, um, we're gonna be really just continuing to be mindful of the lessons that we learn from them, and um we're gonna go into a little more uh I don't know, what would you call season three? What's that gonna look like?
SPEAKER_10I think it's uh bolder besties.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_10How about that? How about that?
SPEAKER_01Up scared. I know we're going in, we're going all the way in, we're going to another level. We're gonna do a double click for this.
SPEAKER_10Well, we're just gonna reveal some parts of ourselves that might be a little controversial. Um, we're just gonna talk about different ways of being in the world and being comfortable in our skins and and to try to stop thinking outwardly and about what other people think about us, but um living our best lives, really. That's our brand. That's who we are.
SPEAKER_01Listen, our next chapter is gonna be our best chapter, and that is what we wish for all of you. We thank you for being listeners, and we cannot wait to share season three with you.
SPEAKER_10Okay, but for now, enjoy the some of the clips from season two.
SPEAKER_01All right, this will be another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn. Brooklyn! Kim Coles has been entertaining us since we were 14 years old without fail. Since 1976, without fail. If she had not given us hush money, we would be able to tell you so many things, so many juicy bits that you know we've been paid handsomely not to tell, so we're not gonna take it any further. But, you know, if you pay more, we may, we may talk. We may talk.
SPEAKER_08Actually, I'm gonna renege on that. So send your money to Leslie dot okay tutu at.
SPEAKER_00I say DM me, keep the hush money you received, and go and tell the stories because I want to remember what you did and didn't do. Uh good times.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. Good times, good times, always. Always good times. And and you might not know, but Kim, for all four years that we were there, right? Last uh Kim was student body president. Was class president. Class president.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You know, as I always say, it wasn't because I had any policies or programs or politics. I was just like, hey, vote for me and I'll make you laugh. And because everyone there was so smart and so, you know, like, you know, some had pocket, like that, like this is the pocket protecting bunch. I was super, super smart and super, super, you know, so many were, you know, serious and intense and you know, and so I I it was easy. All I had to do was like, I'm just gonna make you laugh. They're like, okay, and then we vote. And uh, so I didn't do anything other than make people laugh. Well, that's a whole lot.
SPEAKER_01Well, that's a whole lot, right? Because that's like the the light and laughter that you continue to bring to the world. It's it's been it's been beautiful to watch you, and we still get choked up when we see you perform. It's still like, you know, like oh my gosh, that's our girl right there. And you know, I'm like, oh, oh, she makes it look so we need you more now than ever, you know. We really do.
SPEAKER_08We need laughter, we need your energy, we need your love.
SPEAKER_10And I just I've I've felt it for more than 45 years. So you know.
SPEAKER_00Thank you for that. And and I want to say to everyone who's listening, I I'm I'm a stand and I'm I'm an evangelist for joy and for tapping into joy, finding joy, finding the joy in every situation that you can, finding the lightness and finding the God of your understanding is always there. And that's where the joy and the bliss and the love is. And again, like you said, we need it now more than ever. There's so much that's going on out there that it's our job, our responsibility to handle keeping as much joy as possible available in our world and in and the and the worlds that we impact.
SPEAKER_01So there's a particular reason why I was like, oh my god, I have to have Rolanda on the podcast. I don't know if I want to get to it yet. I don't know if I want to get to it yet. But I think we're gonna I think we're gonna go there. So, folks, I go on to Facebook and I hadn't been on it for a while, you know, during COVID. I didn't really have any interest in social media and um just kind of popping up every once in a while. And I went on and I saw that Rolanda had posted probably the week before that she was taking a year-long sabbatical. And I was like, if that is not um bolder, older living, I don't know what is. I need to get find out what's behind this. She needs to come onto our podcast and tell the world what, what, what, what the what? I love it. So, like, tell us all the all the juiciness about how this came about and what your plans are and um yeah, all of that.
SPEAKER_11Because I went to uh a historically black college and university, I would say it didn't hit me all of a sudden yet. So I was you know going from from high school and had a very good experience. We had a mixed high school and everything, no major issues there. Went to college, um, was around primarily black folks that look like me. Well, and then then I graduate. Or I would have to say, actually, my the my first challenge was I was doing uh an internship uh over the summer uh with a company I will not name, but it I was it in uh Illinois and uh in the Midwest, and it was a group of college students there, and uh that was my very first time encountering racism right in my face because we had all gone out to to eat as a group of young black college students that had a great internship opportunity, and so we didn't have a good experience in that uh particular restaurant. Um, but fast forward, um, it wasn't until I started working uh in corporate America to I'm looking at, oh wow, for many, many years I was the only uh either the only woman or the only black person on a team. So that's where you just really start to see like wow, it's just me. And you know, how do I navigate through this and how do I build effective relationships and how do people see me? So you start questioning your yourself then. So that was earlier on, and and for many, many years I that was what it was until um gosh, probably very recently. And uh when I became I I knew that when I became a leader and had an opportunity to impact diversity, that I was gonna be purposeful of spreading the net wide and and looking for uh making sure that we have a diverse pool of candidates and things like that. So that became my brand as a leader is that I was gonna do that in um the organization that I'm in, I I really impacted the the the uh the diversity there and um hired hired diverse candidates and I that is something I'm very proud about.
SPEAKER_01Wow I I um I wanna jump in with something that um uh this is me being controversial again right so the idea of um imposter syndrome um and my sister um kind of brought this to my attention put the seed of oh I I can I can see I can see that so we talk about imposter syndrome and um in general what it means is that you feel like um you haven't earned the right to be in the room right you know or it's it's kind of like why am I why am I um you don't see yourself questioning yeah right you're you're questioning there's a difference between imposter syndrome and organizations companies um groups of people who are not inclusive feeling as a black woman and um I studied mechanical engineering right so that was my so we're all STEM people um and I was one of five black uh people regardless of gender in my university my year five engineering students at this huge at Penn this huge um Ivy League university there were five of us and so uh the idea that um you know what Rolanda just described just to make my point really clear uh of how she felt that is more how she was made to feel because of the the the the the the the structure that was created right the other ring that is not imposter syndrome she deserved to be there she didn't feel welcome we didn't feel welcomed in our spaces because of racism because of institutionalized racism let's not get that confused with imposter syndrome right it is it is not the same and I just wanted to kind of put that out there let people come after me or let's discuss this further well and imposter syndrome then might be a late result of years and years of living in that environment well I kind of think of them as separate because imposter syndrome in my understanding is where it's a it's a it's an internal thing it's something that you're struggling with but everyone outside thinks you're great. That is imposter syndrome to me. Institutionalized racism is everybody doesn't think you're great. You have to be the one saying hey look at me I'm pretty also you know what I mean so it's it's very different and I want to I want to just have us be careful as black women to make that distinction per you know personally and as a as our how we internally talk to ourselves what is this is it is it imposter syndrome or is it or am I feeling um racism or sexism or ageism as we get older is that what it is or is it something else? And so I just wanted to um just make sure that I made that um made that point. That's a good point.
SPEAKER_10Yeah and we brought her on today to talk to you a little bit about something that's important to a lot of people across many spectra but Achama is a dermatologist and one of her specialties is hair loss and um alopecia. So before I go into that a little bit more I'm gonna have Achama speak, introduce herself and we can get started.
SPEAKER_05So welcome welcome thank you um it's so good to be here and I feel like I need to hang around you more because you've made me feel so self-esteem back up thank you guys for inviting me I'm humbled and very thankful and I think it's so so important to continue to spread the word about the epidemic of hair loss in black women so that people can get seen and get treated and managed as soon as possible.
SPEAKER_10I've mentioned the word alopecia a few times so have you um what is that what is it?
SPEAKER_05So alopecia is an umbrella term for hair loss and as dermatologists we tend to categorize it in two ways. So we have non-scarring and scarring. So with non-scarring the hair follicle underneath the microscope or underneath the skin is still intact right but there's some biologic process whether it be systemic whether you're taking medications post pregnancy for instance chemo I've heard that autoimmune alopeciariata where there's an immune attack around the the hair follicle but with medications or with a resolution of the systemic issue the hair can usually grow back because the the areas of the hair follicle that actually grow the hair are still intact. And if left long enough the inflammation leads to scarring because the the inflammatory cells will recruit scar cells once that scar lays down around the follicle it renders it completely inactive and quote unquote and so that's why it's really important to identify what what category of alopecia it is because sometimes they look very you can have multiple types of alopecia on one head right so you have to identify yes sure I have people with two and three types of alopecia eit clinically and then also with biopsy as well and then um you know once you do that then you you you want to identify the subtype of non-scarring or scarring alopecia because under those categories there are multiple names so nobody should ever tell you you I have alopecia it has to have a first as my colleague Yolande Lenzi says Dr. Yolande Lenzi it has to have a first name and a last name because that name will help us to identify what treatment modalities we can use. Obviously a number of um amazing dermatologists who you know focus on hair and who don't treat patients of color there's not even enough black dermatologists to be able to see all the black patients right so everybody needs to be able to treat every issue in all races of people right what we talk about culturally competent medicine. You know we see it everywhere yeah in all specialties because you're you're you're white I don't treat this particular hair loss or you're Asian no right right I I you know we studied on on patients of particularly being in Brooklyn black white Asian um so I can treat everything and so it's important that people just have to be interested in right you just have to ask the right questions maybe in your residency training program you didn't have a lot of um you know a lot of black patients but if you practice in an area where you happen to see these this population of patients is your job it is your actual job to be knowledgeable their cultural practices and the things to tell them so that you can get them better. The only reason why you're there is to create improvement in somebody's life and so if if you're if you're not knowledgeable how they live their lives and you can't meet them where they are then what is our actual purpose like we're not drug dealers no we're physicians we treat the entire person I said at 30 years I'm not putting another year into anybody else telling me what to do so I had 30 years at 55 and thank God I'm gonna say this I had a pension do I have a lot of money no but you can manifest your dreams did I have a lot of uh tax deferred annuities and uh uh stocks and bonds no wow but you can manifest your best life with wow ingenuity and dream and and uh vision you see you see why I come to you for advice you know because here I would say like oh I have to hit this number in my retirement accounts and oh I have to hit this number and then I have to work until I do and I may be tired my body may be tired I may be 55 or 60 at I'm I'm working full time I'm 61 right now with no retirement in sight.
SPEAKER_02But you couldn't yeah yeah yeah I couldn't go another day more my girlfriend Karen was a probation officer her and I would talk all the time about how's it going? We're getting out of 55 right yep getting out of 55.
SPEAKER_01She was my partner in that I think I've mentioned this before but so many times this um I'm reminded of the fact that um so many people focus on on money right we know the value of money we know money is is useful and those types of things but I want to kind of just uh um use this example of what Monique just said about relationship currency you know that how important that is so you can have money but if you don't have your people if you don't have your crew if you don't have your support system it really doesn't doesn't have the all of the um the wonderful things that money can bring you if you're by yourself then what's the point of it what's the point of it it's important to invest in people right and have people who invest in you and I think that's what Monique was talking about you know just having these look she mentioned all these people down there that she can now go and hang out with who know wait a minute you poozer girls you just y'all just keep your friends forever what is that forever if we hone in on them early on second grade third grade high school right and then we just cling to them and we don't let go.
SPEAKER_06That's right we keep what we do Monique I think um just has a talent for cutting to the chase you know what I mean there's certain people who can do that but they're real abrasive about it and you know they might um let people who they're talking to feel like they're dumb or they're you know like what's wrong with you type of thing Monique has a way of like it's it's almost like a formula well if this is this and this then you do that what's the problem that's just that's just what you do maybe maybe it's the teaching the teaching side of you it's like that's just what you do what is all this other stuff what is what is the thing is exactly exactly she can break it down like that to the point where I start feeling silly for having worried about it before it's like oh why did I think about that I'll give you an example let me give you an example I bought a suitcase at Goodwill for four dollars it was a good it was a good suitcase I think we were together were we were we together when you got we might have been together yeah because I think you got it I think you got it to to to send clothes home or because you bought so much stuff and you needed another suitcase that's what it was okay but I digress go but my good suitcase that I got for four dollars on a subsequent trip to Florida got mingled and ruined by the airline I attempted to go back to the airline to fight for my luggage reimbursement how much how much did it cost at least three times how much did it cost and finally Monique she almost like took me by the lapel I couldn't believe wait a minute it's ridiculous what are you doing she didn't go so far as to say I will not drive you again to the airport and said this has to stop it has to end but wait wait wait a comedy show I think at one point I was um we were running errands or going shopping and stuff and I kept saying remember we have to go to the airport you're gonna waste gas and time to deal with a form of a suitcase are you and and finally after she presented it to me in that way I said am I this is unbelievable I can't I was embarrassed from my I was oh okay you got it you're right you're right but I I think it picked a great topic and I've been thinking about it a lot so I'm happy to to share what I am thinking about because there are probably a lot of folks uh my age and younger even I think more and more African women at younger and younger ages are considering stepping away into some other world and um trying to do it as early as possible and trying to come up with strategies to do it as early as possible. So in a way I feel like I'm late to the game and uh I can talk a little bit about I will talk about that but I feel like I'm a I feel almost like it's too late sometimes um to make a change like what I'm contemplating. But it'll be it it'll be fun to think think it out loud with you with you too so I'd like to know like where did this stirring about perhaps um being an expatriate where did that come from what were the origins so the the expat and I'll put that in in quotation marks because I think that's something we can talk about because expatriate often typically represented mostly whites from the West going to live in other parts of the world and almost living an elevated life by virtue of being expats and opposite that of that would be natives and of having a lot of the privileges of being white in some other place. So it had a kind of it does have a kind of colonizing vibe to it.
SPEAKER_01Jess that reminds me of um uh Indian summer Indian summers I don't know if you that um BBC program where they go to India and treat Indians like shit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah yeah so so there is some conversation about well what do people African Americans from the US or from the UK or Canada call themselves when they go to other parts of the world particularly when they go to Africa you know some people call call call them diasporans and you know people are uh trying to figure out different ways of of returnees and yeah yeah so I think it's a kind of unstable category right now even though there's a long long long history of African Americans going to Africa and to Europe as you know you know um James Baldwin for one but Richard Wright Laura Neil Hurston I can't remember if she traveled she traveled to the Caribbean but um and um with Josephine Baker yeah that's because in some way there was a space uh more spaces for freedom sometimes in Europe or in other parts of the world for African Americans not always so there is this long history of African women travelers but there is this stereotype that African Americans don't travel and it's it's kind of important to kind of excavate the history of the long history of African American travel particularly of single woman traveling African women traveling because we had heard stories when I like on my father's side we had heard stories about my grandfather's sister who went to Panama and never came back and my grandfather going to Kingston for the first time to get her luggage get her things so she might have died in Panama so there were always these stories of people leaving and disappearing often um or in my mom's case um they were they she grew up in Cuba until she was about eight eight or nine and so the stories of leave taking from Cuba to Jamaica was such a part of our just family history. So there was this tradition of all kinds of people and that's true I think in the Caribbean so of movement. Yeah so it was a part not that I would have said at 12 years old oh this is part of our history and of the way our family responds to opportunity and stress and and um kind of making making sense of the world that didn't necessarily give you everything that you needed so but but so yes so it was I felt like it was a part of the family history my uncles had left maybe a couple of years before us so I don't think people from the Caribbean have ever just stayed in one place. And I don't think you know I'm any different yeah just a lot of movement back and forth you know the deep history of it sometimes forced like with the slave trade. So one of the things that why I'm thinking about where would I retire is there are many reasons but one of them is that the first one is the there to me anyway and and everybody's gonna have a different take on this but I really don't feel like I have a place to return to in Jamaica. Do you know what I mean? I've lived most of my life here I don't feel necessarily that this is home either. So it's almost like I have to a different kind of home um it's not I don't can't return to the one that I left the one that I'm in for um what 30 plus years isn't exactly doesn't feel like it speaks to me in a deep kind of way and so that's the question well where would you know where what would speak to me or where would and and how would you construct a place that's home yeah in in a place that you've never been and is that a possibility you know that's the scary part about it is it a possibility so I I so to answer your question I think I've always craved travel and novelty and I've always but on the other hand I've also deeply needed stability you know and so I spent most of my career in one university which I I would never have imagined that would happen. I've been thinking about that and I realized and I had I've had opportunities to leave and I haven't left and I've often wondered well why would I stay in this small college town in in Virginia and I think in part is because there's some part of me that kind of needed that stability um but some of the regret is that I didn't explore more.
SPEAKER_01I traveled a lot but I always came back um so this is a moment where I can make new decisions and that's what I'm thinking about as you know our podcast focuses on um living the best life as as we age yeah um living a bolder life living all of that involves living a healthier life and so it was important um as we planned for the season right off the bat we said we wanted to have um someone who was knowledgeable and who had a particular interest in serving our community um on the show because as I'm sure you'll talk about there are some specific reasons why um focusing on our community is is important. Right. And I know a lot of the times um I know in my business I focus on um black women of a certain age. And so I understand that sometimes there's this push to well why is it only them? Why, you know, why isn't it broader? And as we know sometimes when we go broad we're not we End up not serving the people who have specific needs. And so I'm really grateful that you have a focus in this area, even though I know that you can treat anyone that you choose to treat or advise anyone that you choose to advise. But I I love that you as a young woman have decided to serve our community in particular and understand what our needs are. So I really appreciate that. Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_12I mean, I must if if I'm not a reflection of those that have brought me into this world and reared me and raised me. I'm doing a disservice to my ancestors to not live out the way that I am purposed to do as such. So that right there.
SPEAKER_08That right there.
SPEAKER_12Let's stop normalizing these things because it's not normal. Just because I'm 45 doesn't mean that my knees should crack every time I walk up the stairs. That's not normal. That's not normal. It was not normal.
SPEAKER_08It's not normal.
SPEAKER_10How about at 60?
SPEAKER_08At 60. That's not normal.
SPEAKER_12Another hashtag. Your knees are not cracked.
SPEAKER_08That is not what your knees should do, right? I was just asking for someone else.
SPEAKER_01Oh, asking for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we know that a car, it functions. There's certain things you do. You get your oil changed, you um, you know, get good good gas. Um, you know, you take it for its whatever 50,000 mile um tune-up or things like that. I always wonder why we, including myself, don't have this kind of locked-in realization that our bodies are machines. And there's certain things that make us operate well, there's certain things that make us operate poorly, there's certain things that make us break. Um, it's just not this kind of thing that I think about all the time. And and I wonder if, first of all, if you agree with that, and secondly, how can can we start shifting people's understanding of the importance of understanding our body as this beautiful machine that was was designed to function a certain way, right? Like when you said your knee isn't supposed to do that, well, I didn't know my knee wasn't supposed to do that. You know what I mean? It does that, and you know what I mean? Anyway, Les, listen, let me just tell you, I know we've been really busy, but you um are such an important person, part, um necessity in my life.
SPEAKER_10Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Do I need to start getting weepy now? Listen, I haven't done this in a while, but it's just hitting me now that um you're so important to me, to so many people, but I care about me right now. You're so important to me, and I'm so happy to be doing this with you. I um it brings so much joy, and you know, we talk about going away together, and that's gonna be amazing. But just this this time together where we are um being of service, that is what that is what the podcast adds to our conversations, right? Because we talk about this all the time, folks. This is not new to us. This type of conversation is typical. It's true at midnight sometimes. Trust, trust, okay. But what is what makes it even more special is that we are being of service to others through this, and doing this with you is uh one of the joys of my life. So I just wanted to say that out loud. Yeah. I started to get a little misty, but oh boy.
SPEAKER_00Mm-mm. You know, mm-mm.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_01All right. So let's bring it in for a landing.
SPEAKER_10Yes. Thank you for listening to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
unknownBrooklyn.
SPEAKER_01See you next time in the episode. Um episode in season three. Love you guys. Bye.
