Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
New Book-We’re Too Old for This Shit: The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to Joy
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Angella has written a juicy and joyful eBook called “We’re Too Old for This Shit: The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to More Joy’.
It begins with a bold reminder that older women are ready and the time to put joy front & center is now:
…as mature women, we literally are too old for some of the draining things we still allow to loom large in our life.
We’re too experienced, too accomplished, too wise, too evolved, and lived too much of our lives to tolerate another day of deferring our joy…
The Book is full of expansive yet practical tips for creating a life that centers the joy - the deep well of fulfillment and satisfaction - that we’ve earned.
Women often bear the weight of familial responsibilities while sacrificing personal happiness in the process. The Besties challenge the idea of sacrifice as a badge of honor and advocate for finding joy through self-awareness. By using techniques like the "five whys," they explore how to uncover the root causes of our actions and beliefs, leading to a more personalized approach to contentment. The episode wraps up with heartwarming stories about new friendships and the value of honesty and self-awareness in personal growth. Don't miss the heartfelt practical insights on living a joy-filled life.
Order here: We’re Too Old for This Shit: The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to More Joy
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Embracing Joy in Older Age
Speaker 1I'm big into asking yourself questions, simple questions. Why don't I wear that? Why do I still not like okra?
Speaker 2You really do. You've been doing that. You've been harassing me in that way for years. Let me just put it this way I came to you with a situation not too long ago, less than a week ago, and I wanted my bestie of 50 years to give me some straight cut answers. Let's do this, this, this. You know what you sent me away with you remember? Why don't you do the five whys? I'm like, if I'm asking myself, I don't need to ask you. Hey Ange, hey Les.
Speaker 1It's so good to see you. It's good to see you too, like I didn't see you this morning on FaceTime. It doesn't matter, it's always good to see you and it's as if I haven't seen you in months.
Speaker 2So somehow you must have known that I was going to be wearing a V-neck black dress, because you copied me.
Speaker 1First of all, there's no copying or biting going on here. I went into my T-shirt drawer and I pulled out my Superwoman T-shirt because that's what I wanted to wear. It had nothing to do with you, I'll give you that. None of the things.
Speaker 2I don't have the superwoman on my chest today, Okay and it's not even V-neck.
Speaker 1It's all in here, Listen, it's all in here, the super. This is not a V-neck, this is my bosom Creating a V Creatinga two mountains and a natural valley, that's good, that's good, that's good.
Speaker 2You are so silly, listen, guys, we got to welcome them, okay, okay, welcome to.
Speaker 1Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn. I'm Angela and that's my bestie, leslie. We've been best friends for almost 50 years, clutch the pearls, and we started this podcast because we wanted to invite you to think deeply and act boldly. So if you are an older woman, or if you love one, or if you want to become one, stick around. I think you will be entertained, edified and all the good things, all the good things, just delighted and tickled, tickled All the things Okay.
Speaker 2Les, I have something exciting to talk about today, what I've had it for quite some time, and I think it's time to let the world know what you've been up to.
Speaker 1One of the things I've been up to. Oh yeah, One of the million things you've been up to.
Speaker 2You're so busy, you make me so tired.
Speaker 1But actually all the things that I've been up to are tied to what I talk about in what we're going to be talking about. So it all comes out of my desire to have more joy and my decision to fill my life with that.
Speaker 2You well, you've been doing this for me for years and years. In all honesty, you actually bring something out of the people you encounter. That's different, and we're going to go a little bit more into that when we talk about your new ebook, my new ebook. So it's published and it's ready for you all to read and it's birthed to the world. So tell us the title and tell us about it the title and tell us about it.
Speaker 1Okay, so the title? Um, it's. There's a story in the title. Of course, if you guys have been watching this channel for more than five minutes, you'll know that there's always kind of a a rhyme and reason to how I operate, and um and um.
Speaker 1The original title was um, you're too old for this shit.
Speaker 1It was you're just too old for this shit, and what I meant by that was it was kind of a shakeup of myself and others who are in our age group or approaching our age to say that there's an urgency that we need to place on being deliberate about joy.
Speaker 1Leslie's sister, monique, has a saying that says look, there's not that many shopping days till Christmas, and that was that was considered as a title, actually, but it really just speaks to now is the time. Now is the time people, now is the time boomers, late millennials or early millennials whichever way it's said to really be intentional about joy and it talks about the ways that I have done it, and what is very consistent about me is when I do things and I find value out of it, I absolutely want to share it, and this book is really a my gift to showing others that joy is something that you can not only desire because some people don't even know to desire joy or that they have the permission to desire joy, but to kind of understand what it is, desire it. And I give practical, yet profound dreamy. Dreamy because sometimes we think practical means it has to be really grounded and you know it doesn't include a kind of expansive way of seeing the world.
Speaker 2Oh, you're not being practical.
Speaker 1Well, you can be both. You know what I mean, and so this book is a way to make it both. And I actually let's, don't shoot me, but I actually may change the title because with this digitized world we're in, it's easy for me to do that to where too old for this shit, kind of owning the fact that I am and you are too old for this, and we're kind of in this together and the subtitle is the inquisitive Older Woman's Guide to More Joy.
Speaker 2And so that is what it is. I have a couple of questions for you. Sure, why is now the time? Why now?
Speaker 1Oh, now is the time, because I want people to feel a sense of urgency that the things that have been in your way don't need to be in your way. You just think that they are and therefore they will always be, and it's a way of kind of shaking people. I think it was Dr King that's talked about the urgency of now, when he was constantly being told you know, change happens slowly and you got to wait and you know, have patience and all that stuff, and he said there's an urgency of now, there is a, there is, there's an opportunity cost to delaying your joy. Ok, and so now, there you go, to delaying your joy.
Speaker 2And so now, there you go. You know not only that, one thing that is becoming increasingly obvious to me we have more time behind us than we have in front of us.
Speaker 1I mean unless I'm going to live until 125 years old.
Speaker 2If that's when I'm going to go, then I have a little more time in front of me than behind me, but short of that at 62, I've and really it's a time to start thinking about things seriously.
Speaker 2And what do we want our legacies to be? You know, how do we want the rest of our lives to look like? To feel like Right, you know, yeah, and we can compare it to the decades that we've had behind us. But that's where the rub comes in. If it's not ideal, or if we found that we haven't really attained joy, or we're still waiting, like my grandmothers used to wait to take the plastic off the couch, really, you get up from watching television and your whole body is wet from sweat. Yeah, you know, it's like, if not now, when you know no day is promised to us.
Speaker 1Right, right, yeah, I hear you. What is in alignment with that is that all of the things that you think you can't do, or you think that you don't know, or you think that you know it's for someone else, you actually can. You know the things you don't know. You can learn the things that you. And kind of thinking about how much wisdom you've gained. So it's almost kind of leaning into that you were in this wisdom phase of your life. You've learned so much you've gained. So it's almost kind of leaning into that you were in this wisdom phase of your life. You've learned so much, you've experienced so much these things that you may be unwilling to challenge that. You have what it takes. You have what it takes, you have the experience, you have the wisdom to challenge those things.
Speaker 1You're not going to create this. You know your world isn't going to go into a spin because you challenge some of these dogmas and unexplored must-haves in your life, and so that's kind of the other side of it. It's like do it now because you're ready.
Overcoming Fear and Embracing Change
Speaker 2That's it, do it now because you're ready, because you're ready. But here's the thing there are so many barriers or maybe not many, but there are significant barriers in front of you and, believe it or not, I think what you're saying is that it's not that others are putting these barriers on you, these obstacles, I think so much of it is our own obstacles. Yeah absolutely Fear of change, fear. I'm a person. I like things. I don't like change. I'm change averse. So I like very regular, orderly.
Speaker 1Oh, I didn't know that about you.
Speaker 2So what I'm saying is that charting new territories, even though I've shown competence in the past or a person, can be, you know, so accomplished, but charting these uncharted waters, you know.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, charded waters, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, and, and, and, since you talked about fear, I was just talking to um, a new friend of mine, um, which, if we have time at the end, I'll mention that, but, um, we're talking about fear and the idea of um, you know, being fearless, which to me, is a joke.
Speaker 1There's no fearless there is fear, which is a human, it is a survival thing that we've learned right. It's not that it is feeling the fear and moving into it, moving through it, not letting it hinder you, learning how to feel it and do the thing anyway, because it's important to you, because joy is on the other side of it. It's not getting to a point where, okay, I'll do it when I'm not afraid. Well, that may be why you're waiting.
Speaker 1That's why it hasn't been done in 50 years exactly, and I mentioned to her um that I was talking to kim of a couple years ago because I it was profound when she said this to me and she said you know, and I I still get butterflies when I'm going on stage or when I have a new project or things like that, and that's just the nature of putting yourself out there and wanting to be your best.
Speaker 2You're going to feel that it doesn't matter how long you've been doing it.
Speaker 1So don't think about waiting until you're not feeling the fear. I think that you will be waiting a long time.
Speaker 2So when I was reading the book, I took a couple of notes because I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Oh, that's interesting. So what it is is we have to find a way to propel us into action, out of fear and into on our joy journey. Let's say so. There's a chapter or part in the book called how's it working for you? You know, like status quo. How's it working for you? You know, yeah, yeah. And when you really look at the nuts and bolts of that, you know, when you get down to the nitty gritty, it's like it's not working that great, you know.
Speaker 2I'm tolerating it. I'm making sacrifices. I often don't feel satisfied. I often think that I got to be perfect before I move forward or do this.
Speaker 1You know it's exactly. Then you get into this swirl. I often think that.
Speaker 2I got to be perfect before I move forward, or do this. You know Exactly. Then you get into this swirl.
Speaker 1Right, I'm speaking about somebody else, obviously.
Speaker 2I'm speaking for a friend, you know, yeah, of course.
Speaker 1I think a part of, too, the time in which we grew up, that secrecy was a thing. You're not supposed to tell people your business. It's kind of the fake it till you make it. It's the um, it's the kind of respectability of things, right? Um, don't embarrass the family, or don't you know?
Speaker 1you know um I won't say be a credit to the race because that was a little bit before our time. But this idea that we have to show up as these near perfect beings or be 10 times better than everyone else, that's a part of the way that we were socialized, and so this book, I'm hoping, will have people kind of look in the mirror and think about how those things are working for them, or not. Right, what is the cost of pretending, I'm going to say pretending that you're perfect, pretending that there's nothing wrong, pretending that you have this beautiful life? And this is not about telling everyone your business, this is about doing your own internal work.
Speaker 2Yeah, Do you know what I mean?
Discovering Personal Joy Through Self-Awareness
Speaker 1It's your internal work and from that internal work you will behave differently. But it doesn't come from, you know, the outside in, it comes from the inside out. And so it's encouraging people, especially women, especially Black women, to do this work, because we're all wonderfully made and if you are not living that made and if you are not living in that amazement about who you are, it's a real detriment to you and to the world, because there's so much that the world is lacking, and to he who created you for this.
Speaker 2You were made for this. Yeah, you were made for it. You were made for this.
Speaker 2One of the things I was thinking, though, while you were made for it. You were made for this Exactly, you know. One of the things I was thinking, though, while you were speaking, is that, as Black women certainly our age we wear sacrifice as a badge. Yes, we do, and sacrifice Putting others before us as a badge. You know, I know some of my personal endeavors. I was kind of called oh, you're selfish. You know, you're taking so much time away from your family getting your education. That's selfish of you. You know, when I wanted to go and get another degree or this, or, oh, that's selfish. You know things that you know. My work certainly brings me joy, but because it often pulled me away from other responsibilities, I was. You know, you're not supposed to move toward your goals like that. That's selfish.
Speaker 1Think of others. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And then the guilt that comes along with that you know.
Speaker 1Sure, it's definitely that is. You do that and you make these decisions, that you believe that these are the best things to do, and you put aside all the talk about being selfish and so on, and then you may reach a point where that becomes your identity, right, and oh, this is who I am.
Speaker 2I can't change, or this is who I am. I fought for this. I fought for this.
Speaker 1And so this is who I am now.
Speaker 2As though your identity has to be fixed Exactly yeah but it's your identity. You're the one that sets the identity Correct. So you talk about thinking about the next phase in your life.
Speaker 1Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, and that's where we are right now. You know that's a great jumping point to looking at.
Speaker 2Is my life joyful? Are there relationships that I'm in that need changing or modifying, or do I need to let go of some people and bring others in? Is it still in line with who I am or want myself to be today?
Speaker 1Exactly.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1And this what I talk about in the book and the examples I give are. You know, some of these ideas are profound, but they're executing on them can be really simple, right? I'm big into asking yourself questions, simple questions. Why don't I wear that? Why do I still not like okra?
Speaker 2You, you, you really do, and you've been doing that. You've been harassing me in that way for years. Let me just put it this way I came to you with a situation not too long ago, less than a week ago, and I wanted my bestie of 50 years to give me some straight cut answers. Let's do this, this, this. You know what you sent me away with you, remember, wanted to do the five whys. I'm like, if I'm asking myself, I don't need to ask you.
Speaker 1Because that's what you needed, because here's what happens, right, here's what happens I did get to an answer, though I took it seriously. Because we have these mental models right, like if this happens, then you do this right. An example is you're not supposed to. You know, this was kind of back in the day. Things are changing now, but you know mother-in-laws are supposed to be problematic, right. It's kind of like this thing If it's a mother-in-law, there's problems, yeah, tension right, or you are supposed to.
Speaker 1money is supposed to be more important than love, right. We have these ways of framing how life should be.
Speaker 2And so when you came to me and then we live it out, whether it makes us happy or not, or it's just the way you do it.
Speaker 1Or whether there's like 50 million other ways to do it. So when you came to me, you had a preconceived idea.
Speaker 2I really did.
Speaker 1And I need to do this. What is the best way for me to do it? And so my thing was is that really A?
Speaker 2need that, you have to do. That's what you did. That's what I did.
Speaker 1And the answer may be yes, but I didn't think that you had considered, I didn't why you were just doing it because, oh, I'm supposed to do that, because that's the way you yeah, yeah, there you go. You're welcome, leslie. You're welcome Because this is the way it's done.
Speaker 2And what I really appreciated about it and this is something that comes up in your book your joy really appreciated about it, and this is something that comes up in your book.
Speaker 1Your joy is personal.
Speaker 2And what you said to me is don't answer the question according to what Monique would answer or what I would answer. What would you want? What is the answer for Leslie? You want the answer. What is the answer for Leslie? Right? And then I had to stop thinking about what others would think of me when I made this decision, et cetera, and I went down the five whys. It kind of it was very concrete. It really got me to where I needed to go. Excellent, you know.
Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
Speaker 1Excellent, yeah, I learned that technique. It comes out of I think there was a it came out of or we came to know it from a I forget the Japanese car manufacturer, and they used it to understand the root cause of defects. Understand the root cause of defects, and so you may, you know whatever, and they use it across, you know, in all different fields. I remember talking to my brother who was in the Navy and he says, oh, we used to do that after there was a big, you know, failure or some outage or something like that, they would use this and, in kind of the self-awareness language we call it the five whys, it was okay. What is the real problem? Because oftentimes we start trying to fix something or solve something and it ain't it.
Speaker 2It ain't it. It ain't it. So we wonder why our problem persists, even though we've gotten an answer to the question we asked and it's like Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1Right. So we have these mental models and then we try to fix something that of course, that is the problem. When it's not the problem, that person isn't the problem. You know the problem may be with you, may be with someone else, may be something that you're bringing from your childhood.
Speaker 2It was me.
Speaker 1You're bringing from your childhood.
Speaker 2I'm glad it was a personal conversation and it was a little hard for me to be honest with myself Because I didn't want to admit that I had this kind of mental construct, you know. But the problem was me.
Speaker 1Yeah, and the thing too is that when we just kind of anchor to those you know mental models and we don't challenge them, they almost become a crutch right, it almost becomes a reason for you to stay on this journey, Something that we lean on and it gives us a reason not to think else.
Speaker 2You know this is the answer, so we don't need to explore other possibilities.
Speaker 1Exactly, and so when you need to explore other possibilities, exactly, and so when you talk to other people about it, of course they understand, because they have the same mental models and it just becomes this reinforcing thing that you did the right thing. And in fact you know because you're living the life and you know how you feel when you move forward and you know when you make a decision and then the next month you book up on it again.
Speaker 2You understand that, yeah because before you hung up, you said listen, you don't have to tell me anything, you have to be honest with yourself and don't answer as Monique would or as I would. And I'm like, oh, okay, oh, that's it. Oh, all, right now, yeesh. Yeah, but it really it was actually a very quick way to get to the root of my problem and allow me to identify and address what the real problem was and was so far away from the question that I originally asked that's beautiful.
Speaker 1I didn't give you that feedback. No, we didn't come full circle.
Speaker 2No, because I wasn't supposed to tell you about it. It was just a little bit and I was a little embarrassed A little bit. You know, I felt a little, yeah, you dummy head Right.
Speaker 1That's what my friend george calls me sometimes no, but this is, this is the, this is the kind of thing you know. So we have these self-discovery and self-awareness and all these kind of big ideas, and what I hope that I did in my book is to make it really, really practical, almost getting you to the point, like you said, where it's like wow, really wasn't it. Oh, wow, that was silly.
Speaker 2Why have I been thinking that all?
Speaker 1this time, and that's really not the thing. And how can I, you know, look at this differently? Because these set of facts don't necessarily add up. You know, a plus B doesn't necessarily add up to C. It's just the way that I've been operating and I can operate differently. So it's just these little, really practical, small changes that get you, once you start thinking, hey, it may be a different way If you can do that for this small thing. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2What you point out is it starts out as curiosity, like you ask yourself questions. Yes, you know, like yes, and again, at our stage in life, we should, we should well recognize patterns of our own behaviors and our own thinking. Yeah, and then we can evaluate how those patterns have served us, or not served us. Right, and that's the time. It's like wait a minute you know, yeah, and again these things can, should be there.
Speaker 2It's nobody. Your joy is nobody else's business, correct? I get that from you. I think too, because it's a personal thing. Yeah, but it does require honesty and and we lie to ourselves. You know we want to present our best selves, even to ourselves.
Speaker 1You know, right, right, right. And I think because, for you know, because success in kind of the more education, money, family, all of those things, because of the way that success has been defined to us, you do have the sense that, oh, I've reached here and so why should I start mucking up things?
Speaker 2Yeah, like me. Why should I change if this formula works Right, but does it really? But does it really? Does it really? Does it really Right, but does it really? But does it really?
Speaker 1Does it?
Speaker 2really.
Speaker 1Does it really? You know, does it really. And does it, you know, does it. And this is this is this could be again a really simple inquiry. I the subtitle of the book includes inquisitive the inquisitive older woman right, and I purposefully use that word. Inquisitive is a word we use in Jamaica a lot. I don't think I ever really heard the word curious in conversations with Jamaicans or when I was living in Jamaica. Inquisitive is something you always talk about a child being inquisitive. It could be a positive or negative.
Speaker 2I've always heard that word negatively used. You're too inquisitive.
Speaker 1So the idea was that you've reached this point in your life, right, and you're at a kind of what if stage or what's next stage. You know you're an empty nester, or you have a career change or some you know you're starting to be a caregiver, some big change in your life is going on Some disruptor. Some disruptor. That's going on and it's. You're right at the point where, okay, get curious about what your next could look like.
Speaker 1And you know question some things about how you've been operating, what you've kind of seen as quote unquote gospel, and check it out and see if there is something that has been keeping you away from what it is that you naturally are good at doing. Or you know some gifting that you have that you have been denied, some need that you have that you've been denying yourself, and tease at that a little bit. That's what the book is all about.
Speaker 2And you know what I was thinking also is about attending to my own needs, being labeled or thought of as being selfish. But one thing that I've come to know is that people who love you, they want you to be in joy. Yeah, they don't want you to be bone tired, depressed, unhappy. You know self-sacrificing we all know people like that. Oh, yes, and sometimes you know we look at them and when are you going to put yourself first? And sometimes you know we look at them and when are you going to put yourself first. When are you going to think about the needs that you have? And I respect that. You love your family and you're, you know, working for your family and all, but your family also wants you around in a joyful space.
Speaker 1Exactly.
Speaker 2You know, Exactly, exactly. You know, when we seek our joy, we are not, if you want to look at it this way. We're not just doing it for ourselves. That's not a selfish act. You're doing it for your loved ones.
Speaker 1You're doing it for everyone else, and I will kind of double click on that even a little bit more to say that when your needs get met, those that that thing that you need, that that gets satisfied, is the thing that you give to others.
Speaker 1right when I am in a space where I can be flexible and I have some um, uh, some space to be creative, that is when I can be full of grace for others. I can be very flexible with others when I am feeling that way, and then that need is met for me.
Speaker 2I know for you.
Speaker 1When you feel that you have things kind of well planned out there, there is, there is security in your life. You create security for others, yeah. So it's this thing where you're feeling like, oh, this is my need and my thing and my thing, but it actually causes you to be that for other people. So, however, whoever's listening needs to kind of hear that and kind of dispelling this idea of selfishness. It is actually the opposite.
Speaker 1The more that you get the things that you need, the more that you can give those things to others. And I mean in really specific ways. If you're a planful person and you're living in chaos, you can't be this planful resource for anyone else because you're like you know. But once you get, you can organize, you have things laid out, you can create that for other people, and so it's actually a flip of the idea of selfishness when you get your needs met. I love how I talk about it in the book, because I think that that is really going to cause people to see that very, very differently. It's very yeah.
Speaker 2It's very clear, thank you.
Speaker 1Thank you, Les. Thank you. It's not because I slipped some money in your pocket.
Speaker 2Actually, yes, by the way, I didn't get the book for free?
Speaker 1No, you did not, because this is who you are Well you're right, this is who you are.
Speaker 2I wouldn't have. This is who you are and you didn't expect it to, you wouldn't have accepted it.
Speaker 1I ponied up, you wouldn't have accepted it. Yes, that's true.
Speaker 2Was I the first person to buy it? No, you know me and my competitiveness.
Speaker 1You were not. I'm so sorry I missed it.
Speaker 2I'm so sorry, I'll be the first one, next book, the next book.
Speaker 1I'll buy it when you're still writing it. When I create the audio version of it, you'll be the first one to get it. Okay, how about that?
Speaker 2So we have to be sure to put the link to the book and all of that information, of course, and what's the name of the book again.
Speaker 1When you guys see it, it will be named. We're Too Old for this Shit. That's going to be the name of it the Inquisitive Older Woman's Guide to More Joy.
Speaker 2Wow.
Speaker 1That's the name of it that you will see, because I I was so like, oh, which way to go. I even sent a survey out to my email list to see, and then it just kind of hit me that we're in this together. It's not a me thing, it's not a you thing, it's we're all in this together.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1And so that's what it is. That's where I've landed and that's what's going to print, as they say so.
Speaker 2we want to collectively present ourselves in a more joyful way.
Speaker 1Right. Wow, could you imagine what the world?
Speaker 2would look like if it were that Imagine.
Speaker 1I can't even imagine If people were to offer grace instead of condemnation. Yeah.
Speaker 2You know Wow.
Speaker 1Yeah, I have to tell you something that happened which I think is an example here of a mental model and kind of pushing against that and so on. So you know a few. A few months ago I got together with a um, a group of women who were part of the Exodus summit, right, and, by the way, exodus summit is coming up on October 11th through the 14th, I think, are the dates. So, guys um, we'll put a link in here too.
Speaker 1Yeah, it is a um, a summit to help black women take a career break, bop around the world or actually leave the US. Black women solo or with their families Anyway, I digress. So, anyway, a group of us got together and I met someone there. Her name is Elizabeth. Shout out to Elizabeth, thank you so much. And so I told her that I was going to be in her town this past week, and you know so, this is a few months in the future. I said, oh, I'm going to be in your town. And she said, oh, why don't you do a house sit? Because that's a part of what we do in Exodus Summit and something that helps people to travel is to do house sitting if you choose. And so she said, oh, why don't you do a house sit at my home? And okay, so we decided to do that. Well, her family, how can you do?
Speaker 1this you don't know you know this mental model that it's for all the right reasons Right. You don't know this person, bringing her into your home or whatever.
Speaker 2It's so funny. I heard that also when I, when we aired Stephanie Perry's. You know it's like, yeah, that's all well and good, but you're not thinking of that, are you?
Building New Friendships and Sharing Resources
Speaker 1Right, okay, and you know my children kind of okay. Mom, you checked it out, you know all of it again, mental models, they're there for a reason, for protection, but you don't want to be living under a rock, right. And so we were in touch a few times and the way that she knew me was because of this podcast she had been, so, she, I. I still can't fully grasp that. So I knew that she knew a lot about me. And if she was, and I felt, because we're part of this group, there's so many ways that if things went south, we could both injure each other's reputation. Right. And so this past Monday, tuesday, wednesday, I stayed at her home. Oh my gosh, it was so wonderful. She had planned not to be there, but some plans changed, so she was there and I had my own floor and it was wonderful. We had great conversations and Les, let me tell you, she's one of us.
Speaker 2She's one of us.
Speaker 1I just expanded our circle of beautiful people because that mental model I challenged her mental model. She challenged, challenged and decided to do this and it's just, it's just beautiful. I can't, I can't wait to see what unfolds because of this, this new friendship that we formed.
Speaker 2So that's just nice, yeah, isn't that? Isn't that lovely, it is, it is.
Speaker 1So anyway.
Speaker 2Wow, so kudos, congratulations on the ebook it was wonderful.
Speaker 1I'm sure I'll read it again I need to pick up a couple more pointers. I'll tell you like I like their own, your own, own your shit own it be honest don't do that, don't be like that, don't be wrong and strong. That's not right. You know it's not right. It's survival maybe, but let's go, you know when you do stuff and you're like I can't tell nobody this.
Speaker 2Again, I'm speaking about somebody else I know no one needs to find out. No one needs to find out.
Speaker 1But you know who you are. So my book is actually available at joystrategyco slash ebook, but we, of course, will put it in the episode notes. But joystrategyco slash ebook and you can find it there it's just $10. I just want to make it available. It's a real juicy book and it's a quick read, but I did just want to make it available to as many people who would benefit from learning these tools and I really just wanted a little kind of financial bar for folks and I'd love for you guys to check it out and then leave comments and
Speaker 2tell us what you think of it and tell us yeah, yeah, I think that would be really nice, awesome, alright we're good timekeeper. We're good. I think we're good. Yes, this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
