Dating Cities Before Moving Abroad

What if you could start a life transformation by "dating a city"? Consider that intriguing idea inspired by The Exodus Summit, a virtual conference co-founded by Stephanie Perry and Rashida Dowe designed to empower Black women to embrace the possibilities of global living. In this episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, Angella shares her experience of attending this year’s Exodus Summit, and how the event sparked a reimagining for her of life living beyond the US borders. She speaks excitedly about some of the sessions she attended and introduced Leslie to the benefits of downsizing through Christine Platt's "The Afro Minimalist's Guide to Living with Less." With the arrival of her newest niece, baby Sonia Minnette, Angella describes the rich family legacy behind the name Minette, which links to her Costa Rican ancestry- providing further impetus for her to consider Costa Rica as a possible future landing spot. As the Besties approach their two-year podcast anniversary, they find themselves in a reflective mood, revisiting the themes of personal growth and intellectual curiosity that provided the impetus to starting the podcast in the first place.

Exodus Summit: Expert advice on moving abroad NOW! | Black Women Abroad

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Transcript

Exodus Summit and Afro Minimalism

Speaker 1 0:00

And the summit really is helping me to understand right just this new concept of dating a city that you might want to move to.

Speaker 2 0:12

So that's kind of the vision of that.

Speaker 1 0:14

Isn't that a great way to think?

Speaker 2 0:15

about it Dating a city that you want to go to?

Speaker 1 0:17

Yes, hey, Les what's cooking, Good looking.

Speaker 2 0:24

Hey, actually I'm really hungry, so hopefully there's nothing cooking now, but hopefully soon. But I take it.

Speaker 1 0:33

Welcome to another episode of Black Mirror Festives from Brooklyn. I'm Angela, and that is my best friend of almost 50 years, Leslie. We are two intellectually curious almost 50 years, Leslie. We are two intellectually curious 60-something-year-old women, and if you are also an intellectually curious older woman, or if you love one or if you want to become one, we invite you to join us. And today we're going to be talking about this Exodus Summit that I attended and just the fallout from that, and we're going to be talking about one of the people that we just really admire in this world, Stephanie Perry, and how her tendrils are just going all through my life and so.

Speaker 1 1:29

Les, the Exodus Summit is a yearly virtual summit that was co-founded by Rashida Dow and Stephanie Perry. Rashida Dow and Stephanie Perry If you have been on our channel at all, you have been hearing about Stephanie Perry and her work to help Black women to bob around the world like a nomad, take a career, break away from the United States or completely leave the United States. She, and in her collaboration with Rashida Dow, has really facilitated thousands of Black women across the United States move to all different parts of the world to Asia, to Africa, to the Caribbean, to Europe, all over the world. And so they hosted their Exodus Summit a few weeks ago. And before I jump into kind of some of the specifics around it, because you know it was a three day summit, four days. It started Friday evening and it went until Monday and I'm going to say it was October 11th through the 14th, I want to say.

Speaker 1 2:58

Leslie wasn't able to attend, however, because life be life it. But there are replays that you all can get. You can go to Exodus Summit, their website, they have a Facebook group, all the things. Listen, go find out. It's not hard to find them. They've made their community very accessible. It is only for Black women. They are very clear about that and make no apology for that. I wanted to bring up a few things that have happened since the summit, just things that, first of all, leslie wasn't able to attend, but I got her a gift of a book because she needs this so badly.

Speaker 2 3:54

You texted me in the middle of this presentation and you're like you need to hear this. And she started typing some of the things that she was hearing from this presenter. And then I get this some of the things that she was hearing from this presenter. And then I get this gift in the mail. I tell you, you're so good to me. So the Afro Minimalist's Guide to Living with Less. Why did I need this book?

Expanding Through Downsize and Connections

Speaker 1 4:22

Listen, let me tell you you got to go back several episodes ago, probably last year, because, Leslie, we're almost at our two-year mark. We got to do something but I know this is just a really intense time right now, but we talked about.

Speaker 2 4:47

Leslie and Leslie's stuff.

Speaker 1 4:47

Leslie is a stuff person.

Speaker 2 4:48

She's got stuff, not a hoarder, not a hoarder.

Speaker 1 4:49

She's not a hoarder, no, no, she's got stuff and her stuff is amazing. She's got amazing stuff. I have stuff.

Speaker 2 4:56

She's got stuff. If you have been with us recently, you'll know that I'm going through some life changes and I'm moving. And I'm going through some life changes and I'm moving and I'm trying to downsize and it's becoming overwhelming and I'm like where did all this stuff come from? And then I get this in the mail. So I said to Ange recently. I said you know you need to come. My aim is to get rid of 50% of the things that I own Clothing, 50% of everything. I'm trying to copy you because you downsized from your five bedroom house to your apartment, two bedroom apartment.

Speaker 1 5:43

I'm probably 90% down from where I was, so I've been on this journey.

Speaker 2 5:49

And right now I am 1.5% down from where I was, that's probably Listen you are on a journey.

Speaker 1 6:03

You have started this journey. Don't like act like you haven't begun.

Speaker 2 6:07

You have, you have started on this journey and now you said, I said and I need you to come here so you go through the things, because I don't want to see them she did say that she was like then don't give me all these options, just say, say, just like it in and out.

Speaker 1 6:25

I don't even yeah.

Speaker 2 6:27

Thank you for the gift.

Speaker 1 6:28

You're welcome.

Speaker 2 6:29

I appreciate your interacting with her from the summit.

Speaker 1 6:35

Absolutely, and can you read the author's name? I don't have it.

Speaker 2 6:41

Yes, christine Platt.

Speaker 1 7:08

Okay, she has so in who practice it and, in kind of, the visual aesthetic is white, it's, you know, it's very monochromatic, you just have a few things and expertly placed and so on, and she has layered it with what it is to be a minimalist and someone of the African diaspora. Right, how do we make choices? Why do we have the things that we have? What is kind of a cultural or a kind of familial root of having so many things or attaching so much?

Speaker 2 7:58

value to things. Right, I was going to say the cultural consciousness of why we gather and acquire things and hold on to things and stuff, because we all have stories about our families and growing up, about things like that. So yeah, I started looking at it and I can't wait to dig in.

Speaker 1 8:17

I know, because you're a reader, you'll definitely get value. I mean, I got value out of every single speaker at the summit and so highly encourage you guys to take advantage. They talked about healthcare. They talked about, um all of the travel documents that you may need. There's so many services that are available to you If you're in any way interested in taking a career break, um bopping around the world, um fully leaving the United States, especially in this climate that we're in right now. Please check out the Exodus Summit. So here are some things that have happened since the summit. Well, this happened. Actually, one of these things happened just before the summit. So go ahead, Liz, before you blow people's minds with just how small the world is.

Speaker 2 9:06

I just want to say one. I've met Stephanie Perry. We were at an event together which was really nice and I think I left a picture of that on our site. But also I took advantage of some of her counsel and wisdom when I did my recon trip in the spring to Costa Rica. I was there for several weeks and covered the entire country with an eye toward that place as a possible landing spot for me in my exodus from the state. So really helpful information. What I really appreciate about her is that Stephanie really addresses some of the tangible and realistic fears that we may have in preparation and just thinking about if I leave this place some financial fears, employment options and ideas and just how to get your mind ready for considering and realizing such a move. So that was really helpful, helpful to me.

Speaker 1 10:20

So I got to, I got to tell you something. You know, my bestie is very competitive, right, she's very competitive and I don't care, I don't care.

Speaker 2 10:29

I don it.

Speaker 1 10:30

Because I'm not, I turn everything into a competition, everything.

Speaker 2 10:33

The reason why Leslie took If I knew you were wearing lipstick, it's like I'm putting on lipstick too and it has to be. I don't know. Where Is that so wrong?

Speaker 1 10:43

Listen. No, okay, but I'm so full of grace with this one Listen. So the reason why she met Stephanie is because I met Stephanie. Okay, it's because I met Stephanie before she met Stephanie. Speak the truth and shame the devil. I met Stephanie at a conference in January and, and and Stephanie was was wonderful enough to be to become a guest on our podcast. So when Leslie heard that Stephanie was going to be in New York, At Tabitha Brown's talk at the 92nd street.

Speaker 2 11:22

Why Leslie's like?

Speaker 1 11:25

I'm there. But listen, when you wish good for someone, when you wish good for someone, there's no competition. She's doing it because she's competitive, but I want her to know. Stephanie too, of course. Why wouldn't I Go ahead and meet Stephanie? Let's go ahead and meet Stephanie, anyway. So, stephanie, this is to you. Let me tell you what happened. Right, I've been trying Listen. The first thing happened and I was like, oh, I got to let Stephanie know. And then something happened day before yesterday. I'm like, oh, my God, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 12:02

You are like an earworm this is a term we use in theater when we hear all these performances, because you're there every night, you're there for rehearsal, and so the songs kind of get into your head. We call them earworms. So, stephanie, let me tell you. So, first of all, I'm not going to call names, but one of the plays that I'm working on I do wig design for theater. She knows you.

Speaker 1 12:34

I was sitting and having a regular design meeting with the director and I don't know, I guess your name comes up like comma all the time now, because I am on my what's next for me journey and it is going to be abroad. And she says oh, I know Stephanie, I went to school with her. I'm like, okay, really, really, really, so I will be reaching out to you to give you all the details. So that happened, right, okay. Day before yesterday, I get a text from my son who lives in LA, and in June I was there for a short visit and I hung out with he and some of his friends. We went dancing together it was Pride Month and we went to some bars, had a great, great, great time. And so his friend, shiv, is now in Spain, and so I get this. I get this text from my middle son, ajani, and it's a group, it's a grouped text Right with Shiv, and I'm pulling it up right now because it is so freaking like crazy crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy tiny basic it's, it's, it's, it's tiny and okay.

Speaker 1 14:09

So this is the text that I got. It says y'all are not going to believe this. Me, I can't breathe without my glasses. Hold please, I need these. I pretend like I don't need them, but I don't need them as much as Leslie does. But me, on my solo evening day in Madrid, walking around eating, drinking, minding my business, having a martini at the bar at the end of the night, woman sits next to me American accent, obviously, we start gabbing. She's talking about moving to Spain pet sitting, leaving her job. I'm like sorry, do you know, stephanie Perry? So this is my son's friend.

Speaker 2 15:03

Just picking up another fellow American when she mentions moving abroad and pet sitting, he says to her.

Speaker 1 15:15

Do you know, stephanie perry? And he says it's her best friend in all caps. Johnny, I'm reaching out to your mother as we speak. So he reached out to me, I'm like what on god's green earth?

Speaker 2 15:38

so I'm like how?

Speaker 1 15:41

Ajani. How does Shiv know that? I know Stephanie Perry? So I follow up with Ajani and ask him this question. He said Mom, do you not remember when we went to have dinner with him and his roommate, you spent the whole time talking about Stephanie Perry and you wanting to move abroad. You, you like? That was the whole conversation I had. I did not remember. I did not remember.

Speaker 2 16:10

So obviously I've been talking about this, so so I'm cracking up.

Speaker 1 16:13

So I told my sister, who is the person years ago who introduced me to Stephanie and her YouTube channel and so on, and Monique also, and my sister. And your sister. We were always Stephanie adjacent, says Ange, do you know? Do you know how how small the Black expat community is, how small that community is in Spain? How small that community, how small within that community.

Speaker 1 16:52

I'm just. I'm just saying the fact that these two people are sitting together and the common thread is, I guess, me and Stephanie Perry. I just this is like if I'm going to be making some moves. Anyway, the passport is already getting renewed, it's already in process. Hopefully, within the next two or three weeks, I'll get my passport.

Speaker 1 17:16

But I'm not waiting for the passport because, okay, what's the point? The passport is in hand and now what? I'm doing? The now what? That's why I went to the summit. I'm doing the now what? So that when the passport comes, it's just a point in time. It's not I've been waiting on this. Do you know what I mean? It's like I'm not waiting on that to take action. So I just wanted to talk about this because it's so exciting. It's so sometimes, you, you get your messages, you get the alignment, you get your questions answered and what is on you now is to take action. Right, you're getting all. There's no confusion anymore. There's no. What should I? Do you take the next step? I don't yet know where I'm going to go, but I'm going to take the next step and the summit really is helping me to understand, right, just this new concept of dating a city that you might want to move to.

Speaker 2 18:21

So that's kind of-. Oh, I love the vision of that. Isn't that a great way to think about it Dating a city that you want to go to, yes, or a country, or yeah?

Speaker 1 18:29

So in the right, so in the context of the research. Now is okay. Where do I want to date?

Speaker 2 18:43

And what do I so when I'm looking at places? So, oh, the framing of that is amazing, I know. I think we can develop that and just talk about that a little bit more on our podcast. I know what we didn't like about the dates, I know.

Costa Rican Family Connection

Speaker 1 18:51

I love it. I love it. Another thing that happened that points us to Costa Rica which is, you know, is on our list is my niece, noelle, just had a baby girl and she named her Sonia Minette. I don't know what it's called, but anyway it's a name that is throughout our family. My mother had that name, I have that name, my sister has that name as our middle names and it comes from my mother's aunt, right, so her father's sister, who lives in Costa Rica. She's no longer alive, obviously, but my grandfather was the only member of his family who was born in Jamaica. All the rest are um are in Costa Rica, and so this is a name that connects our family with our Costa Rican family and she was just born.

Speaker 1 19:51

So I'm like, okay, I'm going to signal, signal, signal.

Speaker 2 19:55

These are all signs. I'm good, I'm going to go date Costa Rica.

Speaker 1 19:59

I'm going to go date Costa Rica. I don't know where yet, but the the research continues and the movement forward continues, and it's so exciting. So I just, I just wanted to talk about all these, all these like.

Speaker 2 20:13

Stephanie things that are happening.

Speaker 1 20:15

Hey, Steph, we love you, we still love you, we're watching you, we're, we're just, we're just all about, all about, um the work that you're doing in the world, and through this podcast, we want to be a, an extension of that. You know, to reach um the people who listen to us and to share your message of empowerment and living a life of ease and self-agency.

Speaker 2 20:46

And also, one thing that's consistent with our brand is not being afraid of newness. Yes, you know, or no, no, no, let me reframe that, because fear is okay, yeah, but not letting that be a barrier. Not letting it be a barrier not letting fear, don't let fear Exactly.

Speaker 1 21:08

Stop, yeah, yeah, that's it. So that's all we wanted to share with you today Very exciting and we are moving forward and and yeah, so take us out, les.

Speaker 2 21:19

Well, this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.