Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Why & How to Financially Plan your Escape from a Toxic Job
Get ready for a Master Class that is perfectly timed to position you for financial success in the new year. This week Besties Angella and Leslie introduce you to two guests who bring a dynamic thought-provoking discussion about their upcoming webinar. Drs. Kimani Norrington-Sands and Rosche Brown are psychologists who lead the charge for Black women against toxic work environments by unlocking the secrets to financial and emotional freedom. Their upcoming Masterclass promises to arm you with tools, information and strategies to tackle the fear of leaving toxic jobs, craft personalized financial exit plans, and stride confidently toward independence.
The conversation is sprinkled with the usual Besties humor as the guests peel back the layers of identity intertwined with careers, exploring how societal pressures keep many Black women tethered to jobs that drain rather than sustain and empower.
The Masterclass is a two day (Jan 8 & 9) online webinar that will leave you ready and prepared to face the challenges of managing your money while you contemplate a career change.
This week’s episode is a treasure trove for anyone ready to reclaim their narrative, prioritize well-being, and embrace the power of financial liberation.
This episode and all previous episodes are available on YouTube. Please join our Besties Quad Squad as a Patreon subscriber at the $5 or $10 monthly level. You'll receive exclusive behind-the-scenes content.
Get Angie’s eBook: We’re Too Old for This Shit! The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to Joy
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ange.
Speaker 2:Hey, Les how you doing.
Speaker 1:Doing well. We got a special day today. Ask me why. Ask me why we got company. We have company, Okay. So in that case, I'm going to be on my best behavior, Because back in the day when we had company and I wasn't, I'd be getting a spanking tonight. So no violence, I'm going to be on my best behavior. We're in good shape. Welcome to another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
Speaker 2:Hey everyone, I'm Angela and that's my best friend of almost 50 years, leslie. We are two intellectually curious older Black women and we invite you to think deeply and to act boldly. And today there's going to be some bold acting that is required. We're going to be talking about toxic job liberation on a deeper level. Liberation on a deeper level. We had one of our guests, dr Kimani Norrington-Sands, back in season eight in May, and we're going to do like what I call a double click down into how to remove oneself from a toxic job situation, and so she has brought her co-conspirator, dr Roche Brown, to talk about this today. Hello, ladies and welcome.
Speaker 3:Hello, thank you. Thank you for allowing us to be here today.
Speaker 1:Yes, thank you. So you all have some exciting things coming up for us in 2025. And it's going to start out with the 2025 Financial Masterclass for Black Women. Yes, I need you to tell us all about that.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to hand that over to my co-conspirator, dr Roche Brown, for her to share about this exciting opportunity for Black women.
Speaker 4:Well, let me introduce myself, because I'm a little late and so I want you guys to know me a little bit. So I'm Dr Roche Brown. I am also known as the doctor of rethinking, because I help people to remix their thinking so they can make money, they can manage their money and they can multiply their money. That's what I thought people do Money.
Speaker 2:Money Okay, yes.
Speaker 4:Yeah, I'm a financial psychologist, so I'm actually a licensed clinical psychologist, but about eight or nine years ago I added the component of finance to it because I believe that a lot of people don't recognize or we probably can think about, like depression, anxiety, mental health issues can stem from financial stress, right. And so I decided like we need to put them together because I think it's very helpful for people to get like that money mindset Sometimes we have, we know the practical stuff, but we don't practice it and a lot of it has to do with our money, our mindset. And so Dr Kamani and I, we both actually worked together. She was actually one of my clients many years ago when she was considering to leave her toxic job. She just had a toxic job. I don't know what she was thinking she's going to do with it, but she was at this toxic job, yeah yeah. So she was one of my clients and we ended up working together around like financial you know, like trauma and budgeting and different things of that sort and debt. And then I was able to like help her, you know, understand, hey, it's time to leave. Like you know, you're actually not, you're actually losing money staying Right. And so we were able to kind of work through that together and now she's a toxic job liberator, right? I mean, she can tell you a little bit more about herself. I think she's been on here before, but, you know, now she liberates other people because she was able to liberate herself from a toxic job and so we came together. I think it was actually started last year, late last year, and we created this financial masterclass that you know actually puts both of our specialties together, right?
Speaker 4:So with her being a psychologist that works with, you know, people who are trying to leave. She deals with all the psychological stuff we recognize one of the biggest fears is the finance, right? So what am I going to do? I'm going to be homeless? Oh, no, right. So we go to the extreme of what's going to happen, and so we created this financial masterclass.
Speaker 4:It's a two day masterclass. It goes for an hour and a half both days. It's going to be on January 8th and 9th. It's at 4 pm Pacific Standard Time, 6 pm Central Time, 7 pm Easter Time. I remember all those, ok, and, and what we do is we cover multiple areas. So we, we talk about identifying and confronting your fears, right, just around the toxic job. We actually go into more practical skills around finances. So we do you know, like I tell people about taxes, inflation. What do you do about your retirement? How do you deal with that, those good benefits that you're scared of leaving? So we kind of talk about what to do about those things. We end up giving you know budgeting skills. We talk about vision statements. It's so many different things that happen during this masterclass, but it just helps prepare you from the thought of leaving to actually executing the leaving process.
Speaker 3:Yes, I want to add a few more extras. That's there. So there's going to be a financial timeline that the women in the group can participate in, in which they create their own financial timeline about what does it look like in terms of their finances, no matter if they want to leave tomorrow, six months or a year. So by the time they leave the masterclass, they will actually have their own personalized financial exit plan, which is very helpful, and so they'll look at the finances. But also, like Dr Roche said, what am I going to do about my health insurance? What am I going to do about retirement?
Speaker 3:So, learning about our options, not only in terms of the job, and options and money, we talk about how to replace your income. What are your different options for replacing your income? What are ways to create multiple streams of income? Because when you're working at a job, it's very sketchy if you get all of your money just from a job, because if that job goes, you're in trouble. So we talk about, as Black women, how important it is for us to have multiple streams of income and how to create that. And then Dr Roche has a bonus that she offers to participants. Can you share the bonus?
Speaker 1:Well, I'm fabulous If I might have to say so myself, and you don't have to say sister, because I'll say how fabulous you are, okay.
Speaker 4:So I like to add a little extra bonus. So if you're part of the masterclass, I actually offer a one-on-one session with me as well, Right? So then we can actually customize an individualized plan based on whatever's going on with you specifically. But you're more informed because you've been through the masterclass, so you already have some information and knowledge already. So it makes it a lot easier for you to come with like specific question of like how can we help? You know whatever build your business out, if that's what we need to do, or we need to, you know, get out of debt. You know, if we need to figure out a savings plan, whatever it is, we can be very specific on that about your own situation.
Speaker 3:And the importance of really getting ready. So nobody's telling any Black woman just up and leave your job unless you're in immediate danger. You're about to have a nervous breakdown, you're really sick, but we're talking about how to prepare yourself, how to walk in silence. Nobody needs to know. You got your financial exit plan, but once you got your money right, you feel a little bit more confident about pivoting to something else.
Speaker 3:Also want to say that this is an opportunity to be in community with other Black women who are in a similar situation, and you're learning from two Black women, licensed clinical psychologists, which is very rare that you're going to have the opportunity. And we also respect your privacy. So any Black woman who's in the masterclass, you will not be seen on camera because nobody you know. We want to protect our privacy. We don't tell people, no, that we're trying to leave a job. Okay, so none of the participants will be on camera. Their names will not be listed. So we really value privacy because we know how scary it can be. So you have the fears about the finances. You also have the fears is my job going to find out or are we going to find out and what's going to happen? So we really try to address all the issues that may limit or may pose doubts in your mind about how do I move forward, and this is important too for Black women to recognize.
Speaker 3:This is an investment in ourselves that you know. Many times we say, oh, I can't afford it, I don't have the money. I just invite us to think about what are the things that we spend money on our hair, our lashes, our nails? What are the things that we spend money on, and are those things making your life better? Are those investments in yourself, or are they just kind of like a quick fix? You're trying to repair something, you're trying to kind of make yourself feel better, but the source of the problem is the job harm. So how do we address the root of the problem so you don't keep doing these band-aid approaches, okay? So we have to think about ways that we are investing in ourselves as well.
Speaker 2:Listen, hold on, hold on, leslie, just hold on. I want to say two things. First of all, the emotion that this is bringing up for me is thoughtfulness and kindness. I feel seen, I feel mattered like that. I'm valued that my problems are valued, that everything you said, except the second thing that I'll say, which is about the nails and the lashes, because that's not something I indulge in. However, the pressure of every day waking up and trying to live your best life with the albatross of your financial safety, financial health, on your shoulder, is affecting you. Yes, yeah, it is affecting you when shine, when there are not All the time. Because of that, I really am just so elated that you both have decided to put this together for Black women, because I don't think you are leaving any stone unturned. Yeah, you've designed this program so off the bat. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you the bat.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you, thank you, Thank you, thank you. What I so appreciate is being in an environment where Dr Kamani has lived through these steps. Yes, and Dr Roche, you have helped guide her through some of these difficulties personally. So we're not talking about theoretical ideas, we're talking about lived experience. Yes, and that's so important when you're speaking to someone who I've been there before, listen, I know what it feels like to do such and such instead of, you know, being a little more distanced. I got a question, though, because I like to go back to the beginning in a way. If a person is in a job in an environment where they've identified it as being toxic, why is it so scary to just leave? Why not just leave?
Speaker 3:your finances. So you're thinking about okay, I can't stand this job, I'm clear about that, but what am I going to do for money? You know, I don't know what to do, and I think a lot of us as black women, no matter what's your degree, no matter what job you have, you're thinking in your head that this is the only place where you can make money. We've lied that, we've bought into the lie. The job is already telling us that in many ways, but we bought into the lie.
Speaker 1:This is the only thing you need us more than we need you yeah.
Speaker 3:So then you have this fear of oh my God, I want to go, but then what am I going to do? I got bills to pay, I got maybe, if you have a family, I have kids, I have all these other things, so that will make you stay. That's the one thing. The other thing is the lie that many of us believe that all jobs are toxic. So we might think, oh well, this job is toxic, but all jobs are toxic, so I'm going to stay with the devil. I know than the devil I don't know. You know what I'm saying Because I know how to play this system. I know how to work it.
Speaker 3:Another thing could be it's so many mantras. Another one could be you know what. This job is toxic, but I'm not going to let them run me out of here. This is, you know, I deserve to be here. I fought to be here. The others respect me. I'm going to fight these people. I'm not a punk, I'm not weak, right, and it makes us stay, not looking at the harm that we're continuing to experience and you're trying to prove some of the people that don't never respect you in that way and at what cost, at what cost?
Speaker 4:I said to our families and to our friends as well. Yeah, I want to even add to that, like you know, our identity is often like connected to where we work. You know like what, like who you are, you know connected. And so a lot of times you're like, wait, I don't know, I don't know who I am if I don't have this job Right. And so, you know, we don't see ourselves as entrepreneurs or business owners or anything like that. So a lot of times you'll stay just because of that.
Speaker 4:Then, on top of that, it's been ingrained in us, you know, from childhood to you know, think that we need to have, you know, to go to school, get good grades, get a good job and get a good job with benefits. So we find ourselves like stuck, you know, at these jobs because, like, who leaves a good job right? Like this is a good job, they give you retirement, they give you all these great things. So you're like, how do I leave that good job? So we find ourselves stuck. And then, on top of that, if you talk to your community, you talk to your other coworkers, they just like to go ahead and be in misery. So you're like, okay. Well, I guess we're supposed to be like this. Right you talk to your other friend. Right you talk to your family. Your parents are telling you don't leave, you can't leave that job. So it's like now you have compounded fear. You already had your own fear, but everybody else's fear is coming in. That's making you stay at a place that's toxic for you, you know.
Speaker 3:And when you think about identity issues too, again, it's so layered, it's so complex. When you think about identity issues, sometimes a job can fulfill a void that we have in our lives, so we might overwork or do things or take work home, or because there's some employees that we have in our lives that we're not addressing. So just overworking is a trauma response or feelings of loss. We're not compensating. We should overcompensate with a job.
Speaker 1:Yes, wow, yeah, I can tick off several of those of those things personally from identity. If you're not there, then who are you really? Or the gaslighting, it can be. That's not true. People don't do that Right.
Speaker 3:Why would they do it? I'm such a good employee, why?
Speaker 1:would they do that to you, you know, and it's like they want to get into someone's head as though they're reasonable and logical instead of crazy racist. This, this Right. You know, there's so many reasons why a job, an environment in your work can turn on you and make you. What do you call that? Dr Kimani, from friend to yeah, dr Kimani, from friend to.
Speaker 3:Oh no, it's a threat, yeah, yeah. And I just want to elevate something that one of my good friends, colette Elizabeth, said. She said when you're in a workplace and you identify these things within your so-called supervisor boss, incompetent, insecure, immature when you identify those three, you better watch out because they're going to come. It's going to come at you in some way and many of us are able to see that, like I saw that with the workplace bully. I saw it, but again, lying to myself. You know what. I got this. I'm Harriet Tubman at the job. You know what I'm saying, all these lies I'm saying to myself. But you know, it was like. It's like I was the biggest loser. Right, I'm thinking I'm playing a game, but I'm the biggest loser because this system, the whole system, is toxic.
Speaker 2:Yes, oh, oh my gosh. Yeah, you just read, like you just read, and it's been. I left, I left corporate in late 2016, like October, november of 2016. So it's so. It's been a while a marriage that just probably should not have been and just trying to just okay, well, if he's not doing it, I have to do it and just kind of head down and you know, when you're working, when it's, it's always an excuse for not focusing on family, not kind of having time to rest. It's always an excuse as soon as you say it's in money it is.
Speaker 2:As soon as you say it, everybody backs off it's money. So you get to continue living the lie. Because it's acceptable bad behavior, it's considered good behavior and so Acceptable bad behavior it's considered good behavior, yeah, and so that acceptable bad behavior that's right, Just read me the riot act. But thank God. Thank God and the loving way right, yeah, yeah yeah, but here's the thing even though it's been a while and I'm not currently in that situation, I think what was coming up is some of that trauma was coming back.
Speaker 1:Yes, and that's what I was thinking. Sometimes it doesn't matter how far removed you are if you haven't necessarily done the work to really remove those feelings, because these environments, no-transcript, they don't recognize that part of it.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and that's why therapy is so important. I was going to say, that's why here we are.
Speaker 1:We have not trained therapists. It's like the oldest.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so you can look at what is keeping me at this job. There's something, what is it so? Going into therapy? You're able to address childhood wounds. You're able to address other traumas. You're able to look at ways that your job is paralleling other traumas in your life. You're able to uncover so many different things. So therapy is extremely important. I would say with the really good hopefully black woman therapist if you're able to, because we have an understanding of our lived-in experiences generally, but sometimes you might find someone who's you know. But therapy is so important.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:So I want to come back to the particular focus around finances right now, because um full disclosure here maybe last month, probably the the um ending last month, probably going back two months prior to that finances was one of the things that I brought up to my therapist at every session, understanding it, thinking about where some of my feelings were coming from. How did I get this way? Why do I hide and Leslie knows about this, right Because after 50 years you start to get to know each other. You know, coming from a situation where I was earning very, very good money and fortunately I have been compensated well when I was in corporate.
Speaker 2:But it doesn't mean that you know how to manage money, just make money. It doesn't mean that you know how to manage it. Money Just make money. It doesn't mean that you had to manage it. And so that's why it's so important, the work that you're doing, because you need to know how to manage your money as a part of your exit strategy. That COBRA, that severance that's going to be gone before you even know it because you haven't even been keeping a budget.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, right, exactly, certainly, if you haven't really had to budget, now you're thrown into this environment where you'll need to and it's like budget. What the heck is that?
Speaker 2:Exactly. It's been coming in every two weeks or every month or whatever, and I never felt like I was an overspender, but money always meant for me. Money is for the purpose of getting what me and my family needs. It's not for the nice handbag, it's for what do they need? Do they need to travel to Japan, because that's their desire and there's a school trip? Yes, indeed, they get to go to Japan. You know what I mean. So it's not like this kind of but again, you got to learn how to manage your money.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, but part of that too, is a lot of us don't know how to manage our money because we avoid looking at our money. That was what it is. I avoided looking at money because of my own money issues, things that I experienced in relation to money, money trauma. So I avoided it. But I knew, I said, okay, if money is as you saw through therapy, if money is the main thing, finance is the main thing keeping me at this job, I need to figure out how to get past this pit here, how to walk through the fear. Right Now, my therapist normalized you're going to feel fear. The fear is not going to go away. Okay, but how do you minimize the fear? And I said, oh well, I need to work with somebody who helps me, who can help me, because I don't know how to deal with this. So that's how I thought Dr Brochet. And when I was back she's a financial psychologist I was like I got to work with her. I I have to work with her.
Speaker 3:And when I was working with her, she was telling me about you know? So what's your survival number Like? What number? What amount of money do you need to bring in every month so you can replace that income and leave that job. And I didn't know. I didn't know my bottom line number, and I think a lot of us do not know our numbers. So we have to, you know, connect to what we've been avoiding. We can't let fear stay in a stuck state. We can't do that. So if we feel like, oh my God, I'm stuck, I don't know what to do, then you need to work with professionals. Okay, dr Rochette, you need to come to your financial masterclass so that you know what to do. And when you leave the financial masterclass, you actually have a free workbook. You have a workbook for you, specifically for you and your after plan.
Speaker 3:And so when I work with Dr Roche, she helped me out so much that she was the one who actually gave me permission to leave. So I had taken a leave of absence, I started replacing my income, the whole thing. I know, know in my head. I don't want to go back, but I was scared, I was terrified about making that final step. And so Dr Roche said you know what, I've looked at the numbers. You're going to be OK. Like she said, you're going to be more than OK. In fact, you're going to lose money if you go back to the job, you're going to be OK.
Speaker 3:So I needed to hear that. I needed to hear that and so, because I had that epiphany aha moment, I said you know what? I want other Black women to have this experience too, and I don't want them to feel like I felt. I don't want them to feel stuck because of finances and I'm like there is another way out. But we have access to resources. As Black women, we can't just say, oh, I can't afford that, or you know, that must be nice. No, we have to center ourselves. This election has shown us that we need to center ourselves, prioritize ourselves with a plan and we need to get ready. And so that's how it's. Like Dr Roche, we need to bring this to other Black women and I'm so happy that we do so, and the masterclass provides so much information. But it's also fun because you're meeting other people. What are?
Speaker 2:you talking about? No, no, no. Finance and fun.
Speaker 1:But see, but see and Dr Kimani, this is what I was thinking the whole time that you were speaking just now. It's because it's different from going to an accountant for somebody to look at your finances and say this, this, this, this. But when you layer on to the psychological aspects, the barriers that are preventing you from really taking advantage of a financial plan, that's where you guys come in at. That's why I think this masterclass is really going to be helpful for people. We don't always just need numbers and just do this, do this. Well, why can't I? Just why can't I? It reminds me almost of a phobia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I quit my CPA. This is someone, for we've worked with him for decades.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:I quit him because he couldn't understand the way that I think he couldn't understand why money wasn't my focus, wasn't my focus. I couldn't understand why my decisions were not based on whether I was making or losing money, that I had kind of tied money to values and you know well, if you're losing money, stop versus. You know, maybe I needed to hear it differently. Like you know, do this, if you really want to try it, if you really believe in yourself, do this for six months and then let's reevaluate in month seven and we could see that this constant, like you know, basically, in the way I felt, it was like you're really being dumb right now and it just I was like you know what I mean, so that doesn't work. Just kind of finding someone who's just focused on money and thinking that money, you know, whoever dies with the most money wins is not. It wasn't the answer for me and I don't think it's the answer for a lot of people, many people.
Speaker 1:We can shame so much already.
Speaker 3:You know what I'm saying. So, god, we don't want to pay for somebody to to make us feel bad. So the master class is such the opposite of that. It is the true opposite of that because it's fun, because after roche is bob believe right, she is funny, she's bubbly, she comes with the energy right, and we have moments where we have music, we dance during the math class. During the class, people are like sharing, they're supporting each other. It is really a community. It is a community.
Speaker 4:And I would say that what you're describing is like true to like. What happens with finances, though, is that most like an actual financial advisor, that's not like a financial psychologist. They are only giving you like do this, do this, do this, do this right, and then it's not. If you're not doing it, why aren't you doing it? Exactly? Yeah, and now with me, like being a psychologist, I recognize barriers, right, I recognize the emotional barriers that makes us not do something right, and even a lot of people actually see money as a tool. Right, it's just a tool to get other things.
Speaker 4:So what are the other things that we can tie some of your behavior to? Is what we have to kind of look at, right, you know? So some people don't save because they don't have any understanding of what's the money saving for, right, like we don't have any directions for our money, because we don't have a goal and we don't have a vision for our money, and so, like, one of the biggest things that we talk about in the financial masterclass, too, is like vision, right, you know? Like sight is what happens when your eyes are open, but vision happens when our eyes are closed, and so do we ever take the time Wait?
Speaker 2:That is to keep going. It's got to like. It's got to go to your toes.
Speaker 4:It's hard to go deep to your toes. That is what, like. We all have sight right. We see that when our eyes are open. But vision, you know, like vision of what you have in the future. We have to close those eyes. You know that means go internal. You know and understand. What does it look like? You know what I mean. What does it look like if I leave this toxic job? What does it look like Whatever I'm looking for in my life? Right, it needs to have vision, because a lot of times we can't get somewhere because we've never seen the destination. It doesn't mean destination in reality. It can be destination in your mind. It has to start there just so you can actually get started with whatever you know, practice that you're trying to do, whether that's losing weight, getting your money together, whatever it is right. We need to like what's the vision?
Speaker 1:that's going to keep me disciplined to this next level. You know, it's funny that you mentioned that and I don't believe that there are ever coincidences, but Angela and I are getting involved in a project for 2025. Involved in a project for 2025. And we had this. I think a rather high-level meeting probably lasted an hour and a half or whatever, and Anne stopped us right there. And what did you say, anne? You're like wait a minute Before we can go any further. First of all, I'm dealing with three physicians. Right, we have to have a vision. What is the vision for this project? And I want everybody to be able to visualize it in our mind. Dr Rosita she said that just last night at 730.
Speaker 2:Just said that Because as soon as I said vision, the first response and these are three physicians. Yes, okay, we first kind of got quiet because of what we used to do.
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 1:is non-physician talking about. Stop right there. You've got to have vision. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:They went straight to okay, we've got to figure out how we're going to measure it. We have to, you know, we have to think about what's the goal. I'm like I'm talking about how right now. I'm talking about what. What is the vision? How do you want to feel?
Speaker 1:next year. She said at the end what do you want to see and what do you want to feel? This is why I keep this lady around the SO doctor, because I would never what are you talking about feel. What's this med here? But, dr Roche, you're absolutely right. Yes, you know, a lot of us need hand-holding through this, and that's why whenever I've interacted with you, dr Kimani, I feel like you're holding my hand through this, through a time that can be very difficult for people. And what do we do in our difficulties? All we want to do is hide, really, but you know, we just want to push it off and deal with it another time and then time after time. So, my goodness gracious, I think the beginning of 2025 is such a good time to capture so many of these feelings and then come out with, can I say, measurable tools Ange. With, can I say, measurable tools Ange, we can give an answer to these decisions and a vision of what we will do.
Speaker 2:Well, the thing is that the vision is what's going to keep you going when it gets hard, because doing the work is hard, but you don't have this thing that like, oh my God, but if I do it at six months or at a year or whatever it is, whatever, these you know goals that you set for yourself, that you know, the masterclass is going to give you that right. You're that, that is the, that is, it's the vision that's going to keep you saying, yes, I'm going to go, I'm going to look at my bills, I'm going to do the work, I'm going to take action without a vision to me, the how it's really, really hard, it's hard to be, it's easy to be derailed when you don't have that thing like that's pulling you, pulling you, pulling you forward. I mean, you know, and that's why I think you need to start with that and that's why this masterclass it's really like I said at the beginning, it doesn't sound like you left anything out.
Speaker 3:Yeah Well, can I add something too? When you talk about vision, that I just remember when I started working with Dr Roche like before before I started working with her, like my therapist, my close friends, my family they kept telling me leave this job. Leave this job, like I just know there's something bigger and better for you, like you're wasting time there. All that, right, and I I believed it, but I couldn't really see the vision, right. They saw it for me, okay, and so sometimes it's important to have people around you. You can kind of see the vision, but they can see the vision and they're pouring into you. Because then you're like, ok, well, they're seeing something, it must mean something.
Speaker 3:Because I think as a child I was so beat down that I started questioning my own abilities, or I started questioning different things about myself or questioning Should I still be a psychologist? Like I'm questioning all these things. But all these people around me, my close people around me, they were pouring into me. And so it's important, as you're in this journey and that financial exit plan, that you have people around you who are pouring into you and recognize there's going to be some people who are projecting fears onto you. They're going to say, stay at the job, all those things. You need to recognize who those people are and we need to have boundaries and we have to limit what information we tell those people and we focus on those who are pouring into us, those people who see our vision.
Speaker 4:Definitely Only people who pour into you. Yes, it's who you want to have, because I would say, even with money, like it's all about, like boundaries with yourself, but also boundaries with others, right? Well, look at that, you know like, hey, well, how am I like talking to me, but how are other people talking to me? You know, and we, ultimately we take on the pace of those that are around us a lot of times, right? So we unconsciously take on the pace of those that are around us, so we want to be careful, like what, what is going on with them, because they impact who we are right and they impact our pace, like if we're going to move forward or we're not going to move backwards, and we don't even recognize that it happens.
Speaker 4:I always tell people, when I'm even describing pace, I think about like walking. If you ever just had a walk with somebody and as you're walking with somebody, you ever notice that they, the people who walk, like all the time they walk faster. You try to walk faster with them. Unconsciously, you don't even turn on, you just try to keep up. But if you're with somebody who's like maybe like not fit or a grandma, you slow your pace down, but you do it without even noticing it, Right, like without even noticing, you just unconsciously take on the pace from a physical standpoint.
Speaker 4:So imagine what do we do when we when, spiritually, if we're with somebody who's not at the same pace, what do we do, you know, financially, if we're not with the same person with the same pace mentally? You know we do that unconsciously, right, we're not paying attention to it. So you'll take on energies of other people that are around you. So you have to be super careful about who's around me and are they going in the pace in the direction that I want to go in for myself, you know? So I mean, it doesn't mean like you ghost people, right, like I was, like I'm leaving everybody. It doesn't work that way.
Speaker 4:But you decide I don't need to give them as much of my energy, right? So you don't have to answer every phone call if you know it's not going to be uplifting and you can become more selective, you can be more selective, the inspiration you share.
Speaker 3:You know, and I've been very transparent on my YouTube channel, which is Lifting Up to Climb Consulting and Wellness Services. I've been very transparent that my mother did not get it. She's in the boomer generation. She did not get it. She was like, girl, you've got a good government job. She had a good government job Right. So she retired. She wanted the same thing from me. So she's speaking out of fear and I said, ok, I cannot talk to her about this, right, not?
Speaker 1:because she's not building you up in this, but she doesn't get it. He doesn't get it.
Speaker 3:He doesn't get it. And I've encountered a lot of Black women and this is what I wanted to really acknowledge. A lot of Black women, I would say, 50 and above. We have a mindset that we need to just stick it out until retirement, right? So no, this is too late. I can't shift gears. I'm so close to retirement, I'm so close, I can't do it. I got to wait. No, and that's the part I'm like no, sis, please.
Speaker 3:Because, number one, as you are there longer, it's going to impact your physical and your mental health, so it may impact your ability to even make it to retirement, okay. So we see all this research saying that, as black women were dying at earlier ages, just pay attention to that, okay, and then think about psychologically, if you do make it to retirement, what is the quality of your life every day and what is the quality of your life once you make it to retirement. So that's why I'm so vocal about my own experiences, because I'm like sis, I don't care how old you are, I don't care how old you are, I don't care what profession you're in. This care how old you are, I don't care how old you are, I don't care what profession you're in. This is for all Black women, no matter if you are a cashier or you are a college professor. Okay, you're 20-something or you're 70-something. You know what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:It's for all of us, because everybody will have an individual plan and walk together with that individual timeline that works for their circumstance.
Speaker 4:absolutely, yes, absolutely, because some people, I suppose, could be more ready than others or less ready yeah, oh, yes, yeah, no, we talk about that like just kind of people on, like a different continuum, right, yeah, and that's why we create the financial timeline. So, for those of those people who need to leave immediately, we actually say immediately, these are the steps to take if you need to leave immediately, we actually say immediately, these are the steps to take if you need to leave immediately. Right, like and even kind of give some signs and symptoms to like why it's immediate. Right, if you were experiencing, you know, like having panic attacks, hair falling out, nosebleeds, I mean you'd be surprised all the things that happen. You're using your benefits frequently, you know what I mean Because you're just sick for your job To say, yeah, you know.
Speaker 4:Like mean, because you're just sick for your job to say, yeah, you know. Like, so you're always going to the doctors like you're sick, like all these things are experiencing insomnia. All these are feelings that are like, hey, okay, if it's at this level, we may need to leave immediately the shoulder. Like, hey, you out again. You are like getting right.
Speaker 4:If you have frequently like not showing up at work and people can see it around you, they're like she's not coming in, it's Monday, they already know you, they already know you don't show up, right, because you always are calling out, you know, because you're like saying I'm sick again. All of these things are like maybe this is immediate situation for some people, so we tell you what to do. If it's immediate, then if you have a little bit more time, right, you know, we figure out like how do we create some boundaries while you're there and then create that six month plan, you know, and then, if you have a little bit more time, we can create that year plan. So we understand that people are on different stages of readiness, you know, and so we give like a plan for each like level of the readiness.
Speaker 3:And we also talk about what are your options in between. So if you're not quite ready to leave, we'll talk about leave of absence Cause I talked to people about I'm so thankful I took a leave of absence cause I needed that. I needed that because I needed to take a breather, I needed to get some clarity and I needed to exit plan. So I had to use that whole time I was gone Exit planning. I never went back that whole time I was gone.
Speaker 1:I never went back Wow.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay, let me tell you as someone who, got into.
Speaker 1:I've. I'm sweating. This is very emotional. I'm thinking about this.
Speaker 2:I have to realize that I can retire right now, to be in this state right now, versus where I was six months ago, five years ago, when it was not knowing. You know, having faith, knowing that you know. Sometimes I got to say, sometimes having your faith keeps you away from looking at your finances.
Speaker 4:Yes, that's so true. That's good. That is so true, jesus.
Speaker 2:Jesus got me All right. He don't provide me All right. But we're supposed to be good stewards.
Speaker 3:We're supposed to be good stewards.
Speaker 4:We forgot. If you were a money manager, you wouldn't need a miracle.
Speaker 1:There you go again, and we begin.
Speaker 4:We made some hashtags and I made like yeah, oh my God.
Speaker 2:We made some hashtags and I made like, yeah, oh, my god. The point is that you can reach a place when you look at your money and when you look at where you might want to live in the world and all the things, you can reach a place where you're like, I'm gonna be okay and the numbers match. It's not just this thing in your head, that they've looked at the numbers and they work and, yes, you can move ahead. You walk through life. Let me tell you it's a different. It's a different. It's like a different frequency that you have in your life when we know these things right and so just listen, run to, let's tell people how they can sign up.
Speaker 1:I was going to say. Let's just repeat it again, because this is a really great investment in yourself, starting in January, beginning of January, january 8th and 9th and it's a two-day masterclass and it's going to set you up for your carrying your finances forward and not just 2025, but going forward, because you're walking around with a plan yes, incredible, tell us how to sign up again and where to get more information, and we're obviously going to put this all in our episode notes and on our channel so that people can go back and links and things like that. But inquiring minds want to know.
Speaker 4:Well, you can tell the website.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So the link that's in the description section is the link that you click to register. Ok, it's as simple as that. You click the link, you register and you can also gift a Black woman. So if there's your mother, your sister, your cousin, your friend and you're like you know what, I don't know what to give her, but I know she is broke down because of this dang job, don't know what to give her, but I know she is broke down because of this dang job, you can gift her the magic pass too. You just go through the whole thing and you put in maybe her email instead of yours. Okay, but you can forward her the link.
Speaker 3:Whatever you want to do, you can gift another black woman. In addition to this, you can gift yourself. You can gift another black woman, right? So this is for black women. But let's say a black man is watching this. Let's say someone else is watching who's not a black woman, and they know a black woman who could benefit from this. They can also gift by just clicking the link. It's so easy. It takes less than five minutes to go through the whole checkout. It's as easy as that. You then will get your information about how to connect to the webinar and it's good to go. That's it. You'll get reminders and everything. It is so simple.
Speaker 1:Wow, Simple is good and it's a gift that's not an ugly scarf that you hide in the back of the closet hoping to re-gift it. It's something. You know what I mean. It didn't occur to me as a gift, but it's a wonderful gift.
Speaker 4:It's a gift Because it really shows you the tree, she said freedom under the tree.
Speaker 3:Dr Rochelle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's called freedom under the tree. You're my new BFF. Sorry, ang. You know we've had a 50 year run. It's been good, right? I need you in my life right now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you are hilarious freedom is the ultimate gift, and so when you think about the masterclass, you're coming live, but you also get the replay so you can always look at it. You can always look at it. So it's not just a live, it is actually looking at it over and over and over again it's something that keeps on giving.
Speaker 2:Yes, you know what I mean it's like, especially for people who, like me, now living this agile life I don't want a lot of things. Don't give me anything. Listen, sign me up for this master class. I don't want a lot of things. Don't give me anything. Listen, sign me up for this masterclass. I don't have to store it, I don't have to make space for it. It's perfect for people like me, people who know are living, they have downsides, they don't need stuff, they need knowledge, they need freedom under the tree. Freedom under the tree, freedom under the tree.
Speaker 1:I love that, love it love it, love it, love it, love it. I'm taking all these notes.
Speaker 4:But I mean the notes Freedom under the tree, love that.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. All right, Les, Are you going to bring us in? I?
Speaker 1:just can't, because I'm just stunned, I'm just no. It's really a wonderful opportunity. I what a blessing to have you all talking. I'm very inspired and I honestly got warm for a minute there because it's an emotional thing and I really think that these types of educational opportunities sometimes we don't realize the impact and how important it would be or how much we need them, but once we're on the other side of it, it can really propel and take us into another plane, you know, and bring us on another level. And that's what the vision, with our eyes closed, that Angie and I put together this podcast because we really wanted to take our experiences and conversations and reach to another level. And you guys, you really, you really. So I guess we'll see you in class.
Speaker 3:Yes, so you'll see us, but we can't see you because it's what's right.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, yes. So I want to thank Dr Kimani Norrington-Sands and I want to thank Dr Roche for being with us today on Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn.
Speaker 3:Thank you, ladies, thank you.
