Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Why I Took a Break from a Job I Love
Leslie woke up one morning, went in to work and said to her boss, “I need a break, I’m going to take several months off”. As a full time anesthesiologist she put aside concerns of what her absence would do to the busy OR schedule or the pinch her colleagues would experience being on call. What she knew (for sure) was that she was fatigued, her mind was distracted, her body was rebelling and she had never taken an extended break from work in her over twenty year career.
In this episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn Leslie describes to her Bestie Angella what it felt like to direct her caring spirit inward- to wake up late without her usual to-do list, spend time with friends and loved ones, travel and contemplate what retirement might actually feel like.On her first day back to the operating room Leslie immediately felt back at home and recalled why medicine is truly her calling. Her time away from the demands of doctoring showed her that she really missed being away and that balancing a busy career with personal well-being is not only possible but essential. She could certainly see herself moving toward retirement- just no time soon.
This episode and all previous episodes are available on YouTube. Please join our Besties Quad Squad as a Patreon subscriber at the $5 or $10 monthly level. You'll receive exclusive behind-the-scenes content.Get Angie’s eBook: We’re Too Old for This Shit! The Inquisitive Older Woman’s Guide to Joy
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Hey Ant.
Speaker 2:Hey, Les how you doing.
Speaker 1:Really good Boy do I have like a story to tell you.
Speaker 2:Yay, have I got a story for you Before you start? Before you start, welcome to another episode of Black Women, besties from Brooklyn. I'm Ajala and that's my best friend of almost 50 years. Good lord, leslie. We are two intellectually curious older black women and we invite you to join us as we go deep and go bold. Stick around, you'll be glad you did. We're going to be talking about Leslie going back into work. I'm back. I'm going going back after a three-month break hiatus, and this ain't no regular degler kind of work. This is, this is, this is life or death kind of work. So we're gonna jump into it. So what happened was?
Speaker 1:start at the beginning.
Speaker 2:I want to start at the beginning and don't try to shorten anything. I want you to take us around the mulberry bush, because I want to talk about your feelings, how you were feeling and all the things.
Speaker 1:Okay, I don't know if our subscribers and other occasional listeners know that I took a three-month hiatus from work. I didn't talk about it too much, but I had never done it before in my 20-plus year career as an anesthesiologist, so I'm a physician.
Speaker 2:Never, ever.
Speaker 1:And I just said it's a really good time to take some time off, take a break, start feeling out what retirement could look like, what not working could look like, and that's what I did. I'm going to just turn off my, put on my Do Not Disturb I don't want any pings.
Speaker 2:Go um much further, like, um you like. You just woke up one day and said okay, no who does that?
Speaker 1:of course not I would, but okay so for the last more than a year actually, you and I have been really talking, planning and exploring a couple things we actually could find something new to talk about in our 50-year relationship nearly 50-year relationship, which is crazy, but anyway. So we talked about what leaving the United States could do, could look like retirement abroad or moving abroad and still working, perhaps, but leaving.
Speaker 1:What an expat life and we've talked about, we've talked through many podcasts about that, and some of the organizations that we've joined for information and have supported us in thinking and developing our plan. So that's been in the back of my mind and developing our plan. So that's been in the back of my mind. The other thing I'm going through some life changes and things like that, so I really needed some time to sit quietly and plan out what the next couple years might look like. And then too, at 62, although I enjoy, enjoy my work, I really am getting tired of being on call and that kind of hustle and bustle. I may look 42, but my knees on a 62 for real, for real.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, so I really thought it was a good time. And I don't have a very large group, so it's never really a good time to take a full-time anesthesiologist out of the rotation. You know, I was a little reluctant to do it at first, because nobody wants their colleagues to have a more difficult work time and be on call more than they would or whatever. But one of the things that we really talk about on this podcast and to each other personally is about looking out for yourself and being available to other people by optimizing your mental and physical well-being. Amen, and I said that I needed to take this time off just to clear my head and think and plan. Okay, and that's what I did.
Speaker 2:Fair enough, very good, so proud of you, so so proud of you In fact everyone, including my manager, you know, really, you know applauded this move.
Speaker 1:Says way to go. You know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's great.
Speaker 1:You got to do you.
Speaker 2:Yes, indeed Indeed. So what does doing you look like? Let me tell you and I really want to talk about coming back, how it was with you coming back.
Speaker 1:Let me just tell you Day one I sat in my home and I looked around and I said what have you done?
Speaker 2:What have I done? What have I done?
Speaker 1:What have you done? What you going to do now?
Speaker 2:Look around and find out.
Speaker 1:You know I can't call the people up and say, up, up, up, All right, I'm coming back. I'm coming back, but you know you got to lean into it. Yeah, I get that I did a lot of travel, I did a lot of organizing, I did a lot of planning, I did some reading. I did practically zero exercising.
Speaker 2:Oh we're working on that. We're gonna get that together there.
Speaker 1:We're already committed um there was quite a bit of um cocktails in my world. Cocktails were had. Cocktails were had to the point where I said you don't need a cocktail every day. What made you think you do?
Speaker 2:because you make them so yummy, you know. And a variety, it's a cocktail.
Speaker 1:I have several bars and I, when I make cocktails, I have the shakers and I do the zesting and the peels and the essence and the bitters and the this, and it was like you don't need to indulge every day.
Speaker 2:But for you that's like crocheting right, because I crochet, and for Leslie it's like that is one of her creative things. It's like a little bit of this, a little dash of that a little prep. You know, also with recipes and stuff.
Speaker 1:So I did quite a bit of this a little dash of that, a little prep and you know, also with recipes and stuff. So I did quite a bit of cooking and and did spend um some time at the house in florida, so okay that was awesome.
Speaker 2:So, oh, and you got your outdoor, your outdoor um kitchen kitchen.
Speaker 1:I developed that, so now it's like a whole other project that I'm doing. Okay, I got to get the pergola built into this and all that Not the pergola. But okay, so let me get back. So I was scheduled, I believe, to go back to work next week or the week after, and I just said you know what, Liz, it's time to go back.
Speaker 2:Yes, the party's over Right, right, right and you were starting to use your this year time. And so it just didn't make any sense. That's a whole other thing. Okay, maybe not today. Maybe not today.
Speaker 1:Because I want to talk about why you felt so Well. No, Okay, I'll just say it. It got to a point at the last month and a half of last year that I would get my pay stubs, but my pay stubs said 0.00.
Speaker 1:I was about two months unpaid, okay, and it was very jarring. I'm like, really, so this is what it feels like not to have an income. This is what it looks like to have an income. This is what it looks like all right note to self, um, but thankfully I prepared for it. You know it wasn't, you know it was just, but then after that, okay, ease up, ease up, so anyway. So I went back early. Actually, I went back to work today, wow, wow.
Speaker 2:I'm so proud.
Speaker 1:So when you and I spoke yesterday, I'm like why did I decide to go back early? What am I doing? I was so nervous.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, yes, who were we talking to Some other physicians? I think we were on a call with some other physicians. You guys will hear about that um soon and um, this collaboration we're going to be doing, which we're pretty excited about, and you mentioned that and they were like what do you, what do you, what are you afraid of? It's gonna be. But I didn't know how to comfort you because I didn't.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh shit, shoot and that's what my manager he's like oh, it's like riding a bike, and I'm like I have not intubated a patient, I have not put in any lines, I have not drawn up medications and drugs in three months, and I'm like, oh, okay, so I made sure my, I, my passwords were working, and all of that. Yesterday I even went into the hospital for a dry run, so good.
Speaker 2:I mean in my work. You can't fool around things on point and it was and I just had the best day.
Speaker 1:In fact, they added a couple of cases to me, and I'm like you don't have to get me out, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 1:People were happy to see me, right Alright, but I have to tell you and this you haven't seen before and I hope that I can show the picture I pulled up into the parking lot and I saw. What I saw was so jarring I was like let me lay back here a minute okay, before I haven't seen this you haven't seen it and I hope that I'll show you the picture. I took a. I took a couple pictures of it. Oh no, all right, I saw this guy walking from the parking lot.
Speaker 1:I'm nervous Into the hospital.
Speaker 2:Hold it up and she has an ax behind his back. Oh sugar.
Speaker 1:And he's walking into the hospital through the parking lot.
Speaker 2:Leslie no way, that's not real.
Speaker 1:And he's carrying this big ax behind his back. So listen, my heart is racing, my heart was racing and I look he's walking toward the out the parking lot, across the street, like toward the entrance to the hospital and I'm like what do I do, you know like? Am I the only one that sees this guy walking with an axe held behind his back big-ass axe so I said, let me tell you. I'm like, first of all, is this a bad omen? Was today not the day to go into work? That's one thing I thought should I turn around?
Speaker 1:but listen and you know how I'm, like I was minding my own business I promise you I was minding my own business.
Speaker 2:I promise you, I was minding my own business, minding my own business.
Speaker 1:But I did not get out the car. You know why. I said if I see a whole bunch of people running out of that hospital. I'm gonna gun it, and it's the craziest thing.
Speaker 1:And after a few minutes there was no commotion, there was no sirens, there was no sirens, there was nothing. How odd. And then it got to a point where I couldn't talk to, and then I had to go see my patients, and what have you? But then I thought about it and I showed a couple of people after, but then I said you know what, if something did happen, security is going to say, well, why didn't you tell us?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, like if you see something, say something.
Speaker 1:So it got to a point where. I couldn't tell people that I saw something.
Speaker 2:No, you had to oh my God, Leslie, Angie, it's my first day back.
Speaker 1:I'm clearly not thinking of the multi-axe murderer. You know the mass axe murderer. Right, I get it, I get it get it.
Speaker 2:I didn't know what to do. I wouldn't have known what to do either. Let me just tell you that I wouldn't, but there was a man walking into the entrance of I don't know.
Speaker 1:I didn't see any trees nearby. He wasn't. I can't imagine him because it snowed that he would be chopping ice with it. I have no idea. Why was he hiding it then? I don't know. That's just it.
Speaker 2:So you saw him walk into a hospital, or just no, I saw him walk across the hospital parking lot past my car, where I was parked. Wow.
Speaker 1:And then I stopped looking because I didn't want to know. So when the colds was clear, I went into work.
Speaker 2:Right, and I was greeted with such warmth.
Speaker 1:Okay, but I looked at my patient load and it was not an easy day. I'm like why is he putting me in these rooms that?
Speaker 2:are complicated Because you know very sick patients and stuff and I'll tell you, it just was like riding a bike. Man, it clicked. That's so awesome. It's kind of like I was back in business Right and refreshed you're ready to go right?
Speaker 1:back into mode, nice you know and I'm like, wow, it's really so. I have a couple of insights okay let's go. Let's go, insight me, baby, insight me so you know, and everyone who knows me knows that I've I love what I do you know I would tell. I would say you know you don't have to pay me. I do it for volunteer work and whatever you know, I enjoy it. I don't want to be away from the award too long.
Speaker 1:Wow, unlike okay, wow rethinking what retirement or slowing down could look like. Okay, now, catch me. In a month. You may need to show me the videotape, but uh, it's I felt so at home. So comfortable, and so much in command great, it's the only place in my life where people really listen to me.
Speaker 2:Hilarious, hilarious, where they really pay attention to what I have to say.
Speaker 1:Everybody at home was like, yeah, shut up. You know.
Speaker 2:That's no one questioning your abilities. Nobody questions anything.
Speaker 1:No best friend saying Les, is that the best choice? I'm like. This feels good. Nobody snatches the remote from my hand. None of that, oh my goodness. So it looks to me that, although I don't want to take call too much longer, it looks to me that my easing out of the full-time on-call um doctoring that I do will have to like modify itself a little bit okay, um okay, but that's good.
Speaker 1:I, I know myself. I know myself now. So now I have to think about what that could look like if it means being abroad sometime and coming back to the States to work a little bit or whatever, because I do have my license in several different states. So you know, that's something that that that could be. That's amazing. That's amazing.
Speaker 2:No, I'm so happy for you back. I'm so happy for you. I'm happy for all of it that you took the time off, that you came back, that you feel informed, you know outside of kind of a day-to-day, you feel really informed about what's next. Those are are really amazing insights, liz.
Speaker 1:And I'll tell you, when I got into the OR, there were some pretty complicated cases. I was doing some bariatric cases, weight loss surgery and very large patients, and I specifically didn't tell the surgeons that it was my first day back. I know them, of course, right, right. But I didn't want them to feel a certain way, if I was a little slow, or if there was a hiccup or whatever.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm a black woman, I work with white male surgeons. So I said, oh yeah, I haven't been here in three months. So at the end I made some kind of comment like that and then at the end of our day I said, wow, my first day back after three months. And they're like what? I thought you were at the other hospital for three months.
Speaker 1:And I'm like no, I have been on my hospital for three months and I'm like no, I have been on my couch for three months, wow, wow, good for you like some of the people said, like you could do that well and that's just it yeah I think one the beauty of me speaking about it publicly is that we don't realize that we can do that.
Speaker 1:Indeed, indeed, you know, it's like yes I didn't take a long time to plan it right, you know I didn't say, you know, six months before that, oh, let me, you know, put some money away so that I could spend some time away and whatever. I mean. Obviously I've spent, you know, my whole career, you know, beefing up my nest egg and things like that for emergency cases or whatever. But it wasn't a very long decision that I had to make. I told you all before that, when I overslept for the first time in 20 years and had a whole OR patient, surgeon, nurses waiting for me, I said you know what, liz, you have to start taking care of yourself, whether it's rest or sleep, or this we're going to put a link to that episode somewhere on this, to that episode somewhere on this.
Speaker 2:You'll see it. So yeah, she talked about that and that was the impetus to say, if not now, when yeah.
Speaker 1:I'll tell you, do you need to be? Yeah, wow, wow wow, so I'm rested man. I feel good. People embraced me, happy to see me for real, for real and everybody welcomed me back.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm so, you know. I feel your energy, like whatever you're like with me.
Speaker 1:I was so nervous. I was like you were and you know I wasn't gonna tell my patients listen right of course you know bear with me, I mean I pray every morning, or most mornings, you know, but you should have heard me. I'm turned off the radio and I'm like look.
Speaker 2:God, my hands got my head. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:And then the surgeon said to me this is the second case. He says to me no, this was the first case. He says do you know your shirt's on backwards no, leslie, that did not happen. That did not happen. He said I didn't know. They made v-neck scrubs with v-necks in the back oh my gosh. I'm not going to. What happened was it's always cold in the ORs and I'm always cold, so I wore this long sleeve t-shirt under my scrubs.
Speaker 1:And then I got hot. So I ran in the locker room real quick, snatched off this t-shirt, put the shirt back on and ran in before the patient came in. I didn't realize I put this shirt on back when, so the front was in the back. At the end of that case he's like I guess I turned around and he saw he says is your shirt okay?
Speaker 2:you should have said yeah, I got a stain on the front. I said, well, look at here.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is, I'm like you know what the clown? Always has to return to the operating room Always always, always, always.
Speaker 2:You can't turn that off, and I'm glad, and I'm glad because your patients are better served for it. Better served for it, yes, yes, man, and it's so funny.
Speaker 1:It's so funny, I guess another funny thing that happened today. My second patient, I think whatever said to me how long have you been doing this? Well, no, actually it was the first lady, the first patient. You know, people are nervous, obviously, especially when you speak to your anesthesiologist. She said to me how long have you been doing this? And I started to say, well, do you mean before?
Speaker 1:the three months or today oh my goodness I said well, I graduated from medical school and whatever. And they're like oh okay, so long time. I'm like yeah, long time but is that the real? Question exactly.
Speaker 2:No, that was exactly what she needed to hear, and I'm like how did you know? Very good they're gonna know. They're gonna know, thank god so my prayers were answered as usual.
Speaker 1:Thank God, thank you so anyway. So thanks for listening guys. We just I just wanted to let you guys know how it went. I'm back, dr O is back in the OR and back in business.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Like a bike. All right, Miss bike rider. All right Miss Bike Rider Babe.
Speaker 1:Miss Bike Rider, anesthesiologist, that's right. Very proud of you. Thank you All right. So this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn, brooklyn.
