Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
This is what the world needs now: two free-thinking “seasoned” Black women speaking their truth and inspiring others to do the same. Shaped by 45 years of friendship that began at the prestigious Brooklyn Technical High School through the Ivy League, medical school, marriages, divorces, triumphs, parenting queer children, life-threatening illness and many many amazing adventures. Each week, besties Leslie Osei-Tutu and Angella Fraser will push against boundaries in love, culture, careers, faith, politics and out-dated assumptions about women of a certain age. Remember, you’re never too old to change your mind…or your hair! (but more on that later :-)All views are our own and do not reflect the views of our institution/company. Information provided is not intended to serve as medical advice.
Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn
Self-care with Tools for Troubled Times
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Love and compassion guide the conversation as Besties Leslie and Angella explore mental well-being with Dr. Rebecca Eldridge. Dr. Eldridge emphasizes that joy is not just a luxury but a critical component of well-being, especially in a time when many feel the emotional weight of societal issues.
This week’s discussion focuses on how to maintain emotional health amid political and social chaos, while emphasizing practical tools and mindfulness techniques.
• Importance of intentional news consumption
• Effects of societal pressures on mental health
• Privilege and its role in personal responsibility
• Navigating emotional turmoil through understanding
• Workshops designed for resilience and community support
• The central role of joy in achieving overall well-being
Visit Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn website for behind-the-scenes extras.
Introduction to Valentine's Day
Speaker 2Hey , luz , how you doing , doing great , doing well . Good , it's Valentine's Day . We're really
Meet Dr. Rebecca Eldridge
Speaker 2happy because love is in the air , yeah , and because it is an episode where one of my favorite new people new favorite people in my life is here with us . I'm going to say Dr Rebecca Eldridge . Okay , rebecca is with us and really excited about her work , sharing it with you . We love to share joy and Rebecca is someone who does some incredible work . We'll talk about that in a little bit , but before we go into that , let us introduce ourselves . Welcome to another episode of
Establishing Connections and Why We're Here
Speaker 2Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn . I'm Angela , and that is my best friend of almost 50 years , leslie . We are two intellectually curious older black women . We like to dig down . We're not surfacy people . We like to dig deep on issues . We like to push against norms and disrupt systems and ways of thinking that deserve to be disrupted , and we're going to be doing that today also .
Speaker 1And Ange for Valentine's Day . I want to say I heart you , oh boy , and as one of my besties , and the bestie for almost 50 years , happy Valentine's Day , love .
Speaker 2Thank you , sweetie pie . Happy Valentine's Day .
Speaker 1Thank you .
Speaker 2Happy Valentine's Day to everyone in our listening audience . Rebecca's wearing red today . We're really , she's ready , she's ready . And so let me start with how we met . Rebecca and I met about a year ago . Has it been a year , rebecca ?
Speaker 1It has , yeah a little over a year , january .
Speaker 2In Puerto Rico we went for a conference , the ROI conference . Rachel Rogers has a yearly conference called ROI . We met there . We were actually roommates in a big Airbnb and we just energetically connected and so we had long talks late at night on walks and I know you guys can understand when I talk about energy . For me it's kind of the way that questions and answers play back and forth between two people sometimes really shows energy , because we were able to talk about some things that I think other people who may not have had this connection would have felt really uncomfortable Obviously Rebecca's a white woman .
Speaker 2Obviously I'm a Black woman and I'm going to read a little bit about her work so that you kind of understand how deep some of these conversations may have been . So for two decades licensed psychologist , dr Rebecca Eldridge has focused on integrating multicultural issues into her work with clients , higher ed systems , organizations and refugees . As a therapist , speaker , coach and facilitator , she applies her mental health expertise and passion for social justice in service of those who give so much of themselves to others . Let me read that again .
Speaker 1Yeah , read that again .
Speaker 2She looks out for the people who look out for others . In other words , rebecca incorporates neuroscience and somatic approaches into how we take care of ourselves and each other , engage with difficult conversations and improve relationships and systems to be spaces of inclusion , belonging and safety for all people . I'm going to stop there , because the rest just lists all of her education and incredible academic accolades . But we're going to stop there , because this is why we connected and why we were able to have such deep conversations .
Speaker 2So with that , I'm going to open up to Rebecca . Dear Rebecca , welcome .
Speaker 3Thank you so much . It's a pleasure to be here .
Speaker 2So , rebecca also , I think we both have these ways of knowing one the other as a need and just kind of , hey , how's it going ?
Speaker 1Thinking about you everything good .
Speaker 2So we've been doing that reached out because she has been . She's created these workshops , these free workshops , every Wednesday at 12 o'clock . We'll put the links to this . Hopefully you'll be able to catch one or two of them by the time this airs . And , rebecca , can you tell us about these workshops and why you felt compelled to do them now ?
Speaker 3Yes , yes , sure . Well , the simplest answer is because of the conversations that I was having with people my clients , my friends , my family , people in my network over the past three weeks-ish in particular .
Speaker 3I've been doing a lot of checking in with people and I was hearing a lot of the same challenges over and over again , especially people feeling really dysregulated , really overwhelmed , really incapacitated by the news and by taking in information , seeing what's happening locally , nationally , internationally , and hearing people really struggle with the tension between wanting to be informed and engaged and feeling like doing so really just took them completely out of commission at times . Like you know , not being able to function with taking in a lot of what was happening . Very
Importance of Mental Health in Today's Climate
Speaker 3familiar , pervasive that challenge was . I found myself kind of getting to some of the same points with people , them finding those helpful and then some friends eventually said you need to put this into a workshop .
Speaker 3So you know , just really looking at , okay , this is what people are needing right now and how do I make it available to as many people as possible and how do I make it available to as many ?
Speaker 2people as possible . So I attended the workshop this past Wednesday and highly recommend it . I'll tell you a particular thing that was helpful for me and I've been doing it , and actually , not only have I been doing it , but I also have shared this with my siblings . We had a sibling call yesterday and I shared it with them because , yes , this is a real thing . What Rebecca suggested that we do .
Speaker 2One of the things is to be really clear about why you're consuming the news . Pick a thing For me it's traveling abroad and how the changes that are going on will affect that and consume the news that is related to that , something that helps you to be in action , to be planning , to be not distracted but moving towards a goal that you have , versus being all over here and bombarded . It becomes this resource , versus something that causes a lot of distraction and distress and depression . And so , rebecca , that was my one major takeaway from the workshop , which started with meditation , which was beautiful , and so I want to thank you for that , and I describe it because I want people to understand that these workshops , they give you actual tools . I think you actually call it .
Speaker 3What's the name of the workshop you call it tools right tailored tools for these times , and really because what people were using before is not working for them now , and I think that's really been an additional source of distress . It's like you know I do these things . How come I'm still feeling so bad , like it's not like people didn't have coping strategies before that they were using . It's not like people haven't been through stressful times in the past , you know , and so it's like , but in these times people are needing to do some tinkering with the tools that they have and sometimes expand , sometimes just modify a little bit to figure out .
Speaker 3This is a new moment in your life , in history Like this moment has never happened in exactly this way , and so really looking at specific tools or ways you can use tools that are different now than they were before , yeah , yeah than they were before .
Speaker 2Yeah , yeah , I'm really grateful for it .
Speaker 1I think it's kind of interesting that you bring up using tools or coming up with some type of strategy . I just had a conversation with a family member just yesterday and she was explaining to me that she has a lot of anxiety looking at television these days and she says you know , what Trump is doing is really frightening me and I may need to take my money out of the bank and you know , and what am I going to do with it if they take it , all of these federal changes ?
Speaker 1You know , and she was really expressing this anxiety and what I offered was that I said maybe you can change the way that you look and take in that information . I mean , instead of watching television or the same shows every day , maybe you can look at it every other day or once a week or something like that , you know . So it is gonna it seems like it's going to require us to change normal habits that are comfortable for us and have worked for us in the past .
Speaker 3Exactly exactly , and she's certainly not alone with the anxiety and so much of news anywhere in this media environment where information is so overstimulating you know it's coming so fast and furious , one thing on top of another . You're just processing the last thing and three more things have still come on top of it before you've even finished with one and so , leslie , your point is exactly right like to really consider what are the sources .
Speaker 3You know , for some people , for example , the visual is more distressing . So reading it or listening to it , versus seeing the images on a screen .
Speaker 1Noticing . This is what I'm wanting to get out of it . As Angela said , this is my purpose for consuming this information or this news , and what are the sources that are going to best serve that purpose ? So , in chaos and swirl and in the vortex of everything that's going on , and also not putting your media the every day , every hour news cycle and I , as a result of just not wanting to bring in so much information into my space , I've been missing listening to my typical news sources or watching television or the talk shows that I've been , you know , used to listening to . I kind of feel like my head is in the sand a little bit Like .
Speaker 1I haven't heard what's going on with the Oscars or this or that , because I'm kind of shutting it down and I'm not really sure how to get back into it . But on a smaller scale , Could we ? Put my toe back into the water .
Speaker 2Mm-hmm . So , on Rebecca's workshop , she asked a question and it made me think about my privilege , right , and I thought about that , les , because , les , because you know , certain of us we have , um , I think it is privileged to not be um listening to certain things , right , because it's not affecting us or it's it's , it's some , oh , you know , it's some ways away from us . We're not feeling the direct impact of it .
Speaker 2I was watching Mo . It's a series
Workshops for Tools Tailored for Today
Speaker 2, a Palestinian comedian , and they just released a new season and I really I mean it's just a really well done show and one of my favorite performing artists , Tobin Wigwe , is on it and anyway . So his mother in the show was constantly looking at the news and this was before . It must have been filmed before the kind of more intense attacks in Gaza and she just couldn't help it because her family was there and she , you know , everywhere she went , she was on her phone . This is an older woman and she was constantly on her phone and that comes to mind right now because things were directly affecting her and she didn't feel like she had the liberty or the , the um , the she .
Speaker 2She felt like she had a responsibility to consume the news , because to do otherwise was to be ignoring those people that she loved or cared about , and so , in that way , is the way that I'm talking about privilege in this moment that , rebecca , maybe you can speak to some of that , because that's where my guilt is coming up too . Is that okay ? I can choose what to listen to , because I'm a little bit removed from it at this point anyway . So , have you heard that type of sentiment expressed by your clients , or what might you ?
Speaker 3say about that ? Yes , and I can relate to holding privilege in a number of my identities , including as a white person as well , and then making intentional choices around that , and then making intentional choices around that . So you know for a lot of people . That's why I start early on with what are your intentions . A lot of people say I want to be informed , but informed for what , Like informed why ?
Speaker 2Why is it ?
Speaker 3important to you to be informed . Do you just want to feel like , oh , I know everything that's going on ? For most people , that's not the end goal .
Speaker 1It's not just to be a know-it-all for most people .
Speaker 3maybe for a few , but you know , for most people there's something beyond that . I want to be informed so that I know what to say if ICE does a raid in my neighborhood . I know what my rights are . I know what my neighbor's rights are . Or I want to be informed so that I can call my representatives and voice my opinion . I want to be informed , you know .
Speaker 3one of the things for me is I want to be informed so that I know how to show up for my clients so that , even if it's not my personal experience , they're not having to educate me over and over and over again on what they're facing , what they're wanting to know and why they're wanting to know it then the choices change around that and then , even though , for example , I still have the privilege and I don't look you know I'm not scanning the news stories every hour because that would be a disservice to my goals I would be less capable of showing up for people and being present and being responsive and taking action if I'm constantly sending myself into overwhelm ?
Speaker 3And so I think you can use the privilege and you can also turn the privilege around and say I do have this privilege and because I have this privilege , I want to use it really intentionally . Privilege and because I have this privilege . I want to use it really intentionally .
Speaker 3So for me the privilege is integrated into what is my purpose for consuming news how am I going to use that news and my privilege to go out and make a difference , to be there for my clients , to show up in my community and advocate for the changes that I want to see ?
Speaker 1Wow , that's pretty powerful . And by being selective . In that way you feel more empowered and not just a voyeur looking in . You know when you want to get the latest , you know sensationalism , or to talk to someone about it on social media or whatever . Yeah yeah , way more intentional . I love that .
Speaker 2Yeah .
Speaker 3Okay .
Speaker 2Another thing that I got really clear about as a result of your workshop is to be selective around the source of the news that I'm getting right . So , who are some people in the political realm that I trust , Stacey Abrams , for example right .
Speaker 2Who are some of the podcasts that I trust , Karen Hunter , for example . Right , and just to be deliberate , because I do ? I think because there's been a lot of intentionality , including self-care , in how I've been consuming what has been unfolding . It has allowed me to be able to now , okay , I can kind of , I can kind of see what's going on . I do want to get involved . How , and so it's not by all of this , because that will be like depleting me . Who are the people that I can listen to and take action based on what they're saying ? Right , and just block the ?
Speaker 3other stuff out .
Speaker 2And so just being really really clear about doing that and moving into action is something else that I want to thank you for , because it you know , the workshop , I can kind of workshop , workshop . The workshop , I can kind of workshop , workshop , workshop . Let me just say it was a gift . I focused on something that was really meaningful for an hour , something that soothed me , something that informed me , and that is why I asked Rebecca to come on to our podcast , because we are joy sharers . We , you know , if we experience something that is positive and progressive and moves us forward and clears the path for us , we bring it here , and so that's why we're having this conversation , that's why Rebecca's here .
Speaker 3I appreciate that . I do appreciate that and I feel like that's , you know , my mission is maybe correlates with that , because I feel like one of the most important things that my soapbox is again and again is about well-being . And joy is such a part of well-being , you know .
Speaker 3in fact , I think you can't really claim to have well-being if you're not having joy , as a part of that , and yet you know , it's something that people often compromise on or try to cut corners around , and it's the most important thing if you're wanting to continue to live . Live like , not just survive , but live , thrive , be wholehearted in your relationships .
Speaker 3Be engaged in the world . Be wholehearted in your relationships . Be engaged in the world . Most people have some way that they want to be remembered or some legacy that they want to leave behind . Right , and if you're running yourself into the ground because you're expending so much energy towards others that you're not taking care of yourself , then you're depleting what actually could be a renewable resource . You know ? Your well-being can be a renewable resource , but you have to tend to it .
Speaker 2Rebecca , you said a word . Wow , yeah , you know this person immediately comes to mind . I won't call her name , but if she's listening she's going to know . I have a friend who is an entrepreneur and a parent , grandparent , no-transcript to build her business , to grow her business . She's very community-minded and I don't think she knows how to see the world through seeing herself as a renewable resource versus a resource that I'm going to just expend it all for those around me , and I'll think of myself after .
Speaker 2What would you say to
Strategies for Consuming News Mindfully
Speaker 2someone like her , who feels really committed to legacy , to the detriment of her own health and well-being and joy .
Speaker 3Well , she's certainly not alone in that , because I would say that's a huge percentage of the change makers and leaders that I work with are in that boat where they care so deeply for , for their family , for their friends right , where they're expending so much energy , whether for their own business or for the organization that they work for . And you said , angela , you said it , you're like I'll take care of myself later . You know , something along those lines Like once I , once I take care of everybody else , once I fix everything .
Speaker 3Whatever's left , those are the scraps that I'll live off of you know that those will be the moments that I'll , you know , close my eyes and take a breath and the oxygen mask example gets overused . I recognize it's overused . I'm going to overuse it again with a question of you know , we talk about it like it's so easy to think about . Well , yes , of course , logically , you have to put on your own oxygen mask first , and if you have a consistent flow of oxygen , then you're able to help more people put on their oxygen masks . But what we don't talk about is that moment where you're . If you're in a plane and the oxygen mask drops down and you're sitting next to a friend or an elder or your child , a friend or an elder or your child how hard would it be to see that loved one gasping , struggling , and to go just a minute and put on your own mask ?
Speaker 3first and put on your own mask first . So I would say first of all like start from there , because I think we have to validate how hard it is . Wow that just touched me really .
Speaker 1You know , I just I was right there with you and yeah , yeah , yeah , it's not you .
Speaker 3I mean it's not easy , because when we care deeply , when we feel deeply , when we're connected to our love for people , um , in whatever form that takes , and we're often also then trained and socialized to think of others first I think in particular women are socialized to think of others first then it's it's like really rewriting all that internal yeah talk . You know all that script has to be written .
Speaker 1Our d DNA has to be turned around a little bit . And then as a physician you know , as an anesthesiologist I'm putting oxygen on people all the time .
Speaker 1And that's why it related so closely to me that you always think that I'm going to be all right . You know I'm going to be okay , but I need to think about you , you know . Yeah , it certainly is going to need to have a change in paradigm . You know , we really are going to need to change that , because one thing that Ange has always said and she's really getting , I'm really getting it is that After 50 years almost .
Speaker 1Is that our gifts ? When we are given gifts and abilities , it's our duty and obligation to do our best to fulfill them and share them best to fulfill them and share them . So if we are not taking care of ourselves in order to dispense our gifts , well then we are not doing the best that we can do with what we were given . You know we are not here to put a lamp cover our light , you know . But the light has to be . You know we need to strengthen our light . You know we need to replenish our light and we need to recognize when our light needs replenishing .
Speaker 2Right , and when I heard Rebecca say that's the hardest part , you know . The point that I took away from what Rebecca said is it doesn't mean like something that is going to take you , it's a moment .
Speaker 1It takes a moment to put the mask on , it takes a moment , and so sometimes , when you think about .
Speaker 2Oh , I got to do all of this to get ready to help myself , because it's sometimes just a moment , just the thought . How about just thinking ? How about just thinking about you know the imagery that Rebecca gave us Like it just takes a moment , but you're so in your head about no , I can't .
Speaker 1I have to help Look over there .
Speaker 2Look over there and it's like you're like putting on the mask and then you pass out because you didn't turn it around and put it on you first . Come on .
Speaker 3Right , come on . I mean , I don't know how , maybe you can help . I haven't timed it , I haven't looked at the research . Leslie , maybe you know . Like , how long can you hold your breath without oxygen ? How many other people's masks can you put on first ? For goodness sake , for goodness sake . It's certainly going to be less Not very long Than if you put your mask on , and then the amount of people you can help .
Speaker 2It's a multiplier . It's a multiplier when you choose to do that first .
Speaker 3Right , it's a multiplier when you choose to do that first , right , yeah , so really , I mean , I think that's so essential for your friend , for so many people out there it's needing to recognize again and again . This is hard , this doesn't come naturally . Maybe it doesn't come easily . It's a new habit that you have to build . It's a new muscle that you have to build as a new muscle that you have to strengthen and yet to recognize similar to what we were talking about with the news like you're doing it for a purpose , everything that you care about you'll be able to do more of more effectively when you are taking care of your own oxygen supply and the message that I'd like to give is that it is not a selfish endeavor when you put your
Speaker 1own oxygen on . First , I know I can say culturally as a black woman , it's almost in our DNA that we are givers and family people and nurturers and all of that . And when we turn our attention to self-improvement and betterment , sometimes it can be looked at as a negative thing . You're too self-centered or you're not family or you know you're very selfish . You know , and we have to change the way that we look at other people and their behaviors . You know , yeah , it is not selfish to take care of yourself , to practice self-care . You could say , okay , I need to be there for my family , I'm the sole provider or I'm this source , but I got to bring my best self to me .
Speaker 2Yeah , it could be . Just you know I need no , don't bring the grandchild at 12 , bring her at 1230 because I'm going to take a little nap , you know or I'm going to go buy myself some ice cream and sit in the park .
Speaker 2Do you know what I mean ? It could just be really simple , small things . I know
The Influence of Privilege on Our Choices
Speaker 2sometimes it's like you got to lose 50 pounds and it's like , but it starts with losing a half pound . Yeah , yeah , yes , michigan , how did you come to have marginalized people and these people who are the change agents in the world ? How did they become the core of your work ? Like paint that story for us , because I'm curious . I know the story , but I'm curious , they're curious .
Speaker 3There's so many different pieces and layers to it . It's like a thousand-piece puzzle really .
Speaker 2But I'll try to lay out a few of the pieces .
Speaker 1Bring it on . I love puzzles .
Speaker 3You know I had early experiences , of course , that shaped me . The church that I grew up in was one that was very social justice oriented .
Speaker 3The messages and the teachings . There were very much around love and inclusion and everybody having worth and everybody belonging and everybody having worth and everybody belonging . So when I started to have recognition that that's not how everybody was treated , that's not how everybody was living , then there was a real dissonance there . And then I had so many experiences kind of across differences of background , race , ethnicity , socioeconomic status , geography , where I was getting to witness and experience the immense resilience and strength and joy of different people living through different hardships . So whether I was on service projects or I was housed with a family in in Jamaica for a few weeks on on a service project trip , um my first year out of college .
Speaker 3If you can picture my 22 year old white girl self , I was my first job was . I was hired and I was working as a house parent at a boy's home in inner city Detroit , so all of the boys were African American in that home .
Speaker 3And there I am , 22 year old , me , trying to run a household and help them with their homework and shuttle them to and from school and activities , and fix meals and you know and understand , like , how to maneuver , and in this inner city environment where when I went to the grocery store I was usually the only white person , in that grocery store , um .
Speaker 3And then I , I went to grad school a couple years after that and I remember in my multicultural counseling course and I have to kind of chuckle at myself now , but this was , this was part of my learning we were assigned a chapter and in the chapter I don't remember the full title , but it had color blindness and the title oh , and I thought , oh , great , like perfect , like this is this is me matter yes and so , and then I start reading the chapter and I , you know , my eyes were opened and I realized all of the shortcomings to that point of view and all of the ways in which that really invalidated everything that I just described you know the immense strength and
Speaker 3determination and joyfulness and resourcefulness of recognizing people's . How different people's experiences were such a core part of who they are . And as a therapist as a budding therapist the most important thing to me was to be able to create a space .
Speaker 3I mean , the reason why I wanted to be a therapist to begin with was because I wanted people to be able to come in and share their most intimate parts of their struggles , to come in and share their most intimate parts of their struggles , of their identities , of their experiences , and be understood and be valued and be recognized in that . And I knew I wouldn't be able to do that if I was ignoring or minimizing , kind of dismissing . So I had to keep learning and I wanted to keep learning . The more I understood , the more I learned , the more I knew what I still needed to learn , the more I wanted to learn . You know , and it's such a rewarding experience . You know that as I over time , have built relationships and strong connections with people from different places around the world , different backgrounds , different religions , different ethnicities , you know all like every time it enriches my world as well and I cannot fathom loving them and not caring about the experiences that they're living in . So it just , you know , it just kind of keeps expanding . It's just an ongoing ripple effect .
Speaker 1Yeah , so , dr Rebecca , in that regard , what do you make of the movement to remove diverse populations from public life and corporations ?
Speaker 2Even the conversation , even the discussion about it , even the language . It's heartbreaking .
Speaker 3I think it's heartbreaking . I mean you know , I know that both of you also seek to understand other points of view and because my experience has been so enriched by relationships , by you know , not just knowing people , not just like hello , how are you ? But by getting to know you know , I mean being a therapist is such a gift you get let into the . I mean my clients regularly tell me like there's nobody else in the world that knowss the people who are losing their financial from not having the brilliance of people there contributing their unique gifts and strengths and perspectives to help those businesses , those organizations and those systems to be that much more meaningful .
Speaker 3You know , for people who are measuring it by the dollars , also more financially successful .
Speaker 1I was just going to ask you what America stands to lose with these behaviors and actions and proposals , and you said it right there , you said it right there Everything right , everything everybody's got would win yeah , yeah , it's hard , it's .
Speaker 3It's very hard for me to relate from my own experience where , where I see it is in um , like the science of fear , right in the science of um , people feeling threatened , people feeling like they're in scarcity , like if other people are getting more than it means I'm going to get less . There's a lot of discussion around white men in particular feeling , you know , kind of emotionally insecure and threatened , and you know so I do a lot of pondering around the psychology of it from different angles . But there's so much to lose , you know , there's so much more to be gained through inclusiveness . And you know I don't have the experience , obviously , of being a black woman I never will or being , in this country , a religious minority or a sexual minority , but I think most people , even if you don't share a specific identity characteristic , there's a time in your life where you felt excluded .
Speaker 3I mean , I know I have you know , and I wish that we could come together around a humanity of you . Don't have to have lived somebody else's exact experience in order to genuinely care and feel compassion for the emotions , yes , yeah .
Speaker 2Yes , yeah , okay .
Speaker 1Oh my gosh .
Speaker 2Leslie , you're the timekeeper right .
Speaker 1Yeah , I'm checking time , we're good but this is so needy and important . Go ahead , ange . I have some thoughts also and a question Go ahead , I'm getting a headache . I have some thoughts also and a question , okay .
Speaker 2All right , thank you , I'm getting a headache . Thank you for deferring this . Is so heavy , dr Rebecca , this is heavy .
Speaker 1It's necessary , necessary . Yeah , I think it's Okay . I have to bring my head out of the sand in order to engage .
Speaker 2Yes , ma'am , or white other , they intersect . You're kind of in the intersection there , right ? What are you hearing from people in your circle or not in your circle , just people who you're around what are some perspectives that they may have that can help the people over here to kind of understand ? And you kind of probably touched on it when you talked about fear and how that shows up and scarcity and things like that Any insight that you can give to us , to our listeners around I mean , we don't want to think of other people as being evil , right ? What insights can you give us from that part of your experience that could help us to understand what can be at play in people really supporting some of the things that are really harmful to us over here ? Is that clear , Mm-hmm .
Speaker 3Yeah , yes . So I think that we've been seeing fear be weaponized , right
Building Resilience and Joy in Tough Times
Speaker 3and so , when things like diversity , equity , inclusion , social justice , belonging access you know these things are have been increasingly treated as dirty words , as as um . So the narrative that's been promoted in these particular pockets around that is that this is a threat to your ability to get a job , right , if this is a threat to your ability to get into the college of your choice this is a threat to you . Know , then , those things of course are .
Speaker 3This is a threat to your ability to live . Earlier today , actually part of a conversation where somebody was being interviewed on Christian nationalism and how intertwined that is as well Mm-hmm , particular subset right , it's not all christians , it's not all forms of christianity , we saw . We're seeing some very public examples of that um , with reverend um giving the the message .
Speaker 3I think the two of you did a podcast on it yeah yeah um reverend buddy and yet for this , this message that's like not so much , not so much a separation of church and state , in fact maybe even really advocating for the opposite of that , and so anything that's not for that . And I would say this I see examples of this on social media from people in my circle . Then it's a threat to their belief system , then it's a threat to their religious freedom . You know it's like almost like . Well , if you're not willing to put the Ten Commandments in schools , then you're threatening my religious belief .
Speaker 3And so I think still there's this operating from this sense of if you're wanting to do it differently or if you're wanting the freedom to do it differently , then somehow that's taking away from my opportunities . I think that that does a lot of damage because it does pit people against one another and cause people to move into a state of dysregulation not programmed to help us thrive or be our most ethical moral selves or problem solve effectively or communicate compassionately .
Speaker 2You know it's , it's programmed to like protect my survival so the more you stay in that state , the more it's that response versus a considered , you know , rational way of thinking you stay in that kind of fight or flight .
Speaker 1But you know , Rebecca , how you mentioned earlier that one of the formative influences of who you are was your religious faith and your interpretation of the Bible . Love your neighbor and be giving . Of the Bible , love your neighbor and be giving , and we think of the parables of the stranger and things like that . But that doesn't seem to be the same lesson , the same understanding or practice from many of the evangelicals or the Christian nationalists . You know , I don't see the same love of the population , mocked her and said she is absolutely not a religious leader and they never even recognized the plea for mercy , even recognize the plea for mercy .
Speaker 1So if we can't recognize even that , that she was humbling herself in front of this man of power . I don't know when do we go from there , Just to get a little bit of peace in our hearts .
Speaker 3Yes , well , I'll tell you , um , I do think there are certain messages that are being amplified to , and when we hear something a lot and loudly , then we tend to um interpret that as the most , you know , the most widespread or predominant viewpoint . And I question that how much what we're seeing and what we're hearing is an accurate representation . Because when we look at actually holes that show what are the views , what are the values , what do most Americans think , what do most US citizens think , what do most Christians think , I don't think that the numbers are representative .
Speaker 3They're not matching the preponderance of what we're seeing and hearing the preponderance of what we're seeing and hearing , especially when you look at how algorithms are influencing even what you see in a news feed or what you see in your social media feed Right . So I mean we're almost circling back to that earlier question of what are the sources of where you're really getting your information , because it can skew your perception and some people , the people that are feeling isolated . You know it's working .
Speaker 2I mean I'll say it's working because people .
Speaker 3I'm hearing a lot of people say like I feel like I'm alone . I feel like I'm the only one who's you know looking around and saying there's a problem with this .
Speaker 3And that is not true . So if you're feeling that way , you know , please take heart and hope in the fact that that is not true . There are millions of people that care . I was on one call , one organizing call , that had 50,000 people registered for it at the beginning of the hour , had 80,000 people registered for it by the end of that hour . And that's just the people for one hour of time showing up because they care . Wow , so just you know . Really , we don't know what's possible if we hope and take action , but we do know what's possible if we don't .
Speaker 3Oh yes , so , please take heart , connect , look for the people that care . You know there are people and organizations doing amazing work , and that is where I draw so much of my inspiration from .
Speaker 1Oh man , what a wonderful way to end this segment , in other words , the monsters are not as big as they seem .
Speaker 2Yes , my kids used to watch VeggieTales and just forgive me for not being able to sing , but it it goes um , um . God is bigger than the boogeyman , he's bigger than godzilla or the monster is on tv , oh , wow , wow .
Speaker 2So yeah , that okay in my brain that pops in because it's like you . You think that , um , wow , to do it by yourself . You don't have to feel like it's only you . You can find , plug in , plug into those organizations , probably right in your neighborhood that someone just told me about , the Pauli Murray . There's a Pauli Murray community group here that I have to plug into because , yeah , they're doing the work .
Speaker 1So , anyway , this has been wonderful . We're at the end .
Speaker 2Thank you so much , Rebecca .
Speaker 1Thank you for sharing this . I'm encouraged , I'm inspired . We're going to provide links to your information and how people can continue to know about the wonderful work that you're doing , but I feel blessed to have spent this time with you .
Speaker 2Thank you , rebecca . Can you just mention your workshop , please , and we'll also put links , but just mention your workshop and when it is , and so on , please .
Speaker 3Sure .
Speaker 3So right now there's a series of three , and then we'll see what people need after that .
Speaker 3But we did the first one , as we were talking about Angela this past Wednesday , and that was really about how to protect yourself through preventions , through being very intentional , especially around the news , but certainly applies to other areas .
Speaker 3The next one is going to be around understanding your own unique nervous system responses , so really being able to tune into the nuances of how your thoughts and feelings and physical sensations change depending on what's going on with your nervous system , so that you can respond to it with more understanding
Closing Thoughts and Upcoming Workshops
Speaker 3and compassion rather than just kicking yourself while you're down . And the third one will be on recovery . You know , when you find yourself in these states of overwhelm , fight or flight , freeze like head in the sand . You know how do you bring yourself back into a state of calm , clear , connected , where you can problem solve , take action , connect with your loved ones all of the good things of functioning optimally that come from that place , so how to be able to use what you understand about yourself to recover more quickly . And each of them is obviously related to the others , but they can also stand alone .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah , if people haven't come to the first one . That's okay and you know I have a , angela knows I did not record the live one because the live ones are a private , safe space for people to come and participate and share and not have to worry about where that recording is going afterwards . But I had recorded just a content piece from the first one separately and so if people are interested in that , by registering they can also get a copy of that recording .
Speaker 2Oh , that's wonderful .
Speaker 1Thank you , Rebecca . Well , thank you Highly recommended , highly recommended .
Speaker 2Okay , guys , thank you for being a part of the episode today . We appreciate it . And , yeah , take us out , les .
Speaker 1So this has been another episode of Black Boomer Besties from Brooklyn , brooklyn Bye .